The Nation Newspaper

Tag: divorce?

  • Wanted: True love

    For some time now, I have really been agitated by stories of spousal killings which are becoming common these days and details of some divorce cases.

    The question I have been trying hard to find answer to is how did hitherto lovebirds become sworn enemies resulting in one killing the other?

    I have always wondered what happened to the marriage vows of ‘till death do us part and to love each other in health, in sickness and whatever situation’ that some couples, even after ten, twenty years and more, opt for divorce and can’t be convinced to continue to live together by judges who always advise they resolve whatever differences they have.

    How does love suddenly turn sour?  I wondered aloud when I saw the picture of a smiling couple in the same dress, looking like inseparable soul mates in a newspaper, but the wife is currently standing trial for stabbing the husband to death.

    After twenty-five years of being married, I can confirm that marriage is not as easy as it appears to be. It is indeed a school of continuous learning and it takes a lot of effort to make it work on both sides.

    Years of courting sometimes don’t prepare many for the reality which marriage is all about.

    Two different persons, with different life experiences coming together as one with all the personal, cultural and religious perspectives; marriage is, indeed, a major undertaking.

    With the increasing cases of reported marriage breakdowns and divorces, I’m beginning to think that many who get married these days do not really understand what the institution is all about or are not sufficiently emotionally, physically and in many other ways prepared for the stormy seasons of marriage which come up for various reasons.

    Many couples don’t know themselves well enough as they claim. Even when all the signs are obvious that that they may not be compatible, intending couples lie to themselves that they have what it takes to stick together no matter what comes up. Some hide information they should disclose and while others make false claims of what and who they are not.

    Some are victims of marriage counselling based on the false notion that all will be well when the truth is that there is no perfect marriage. Even for those that appear to be working well, the couples are making a lot of sacrifice to make it work. Sometimes the sacrifice is one sided.

    A bishop who usually says he has not had the first quarrel with his wife revealed the real secret of his marriage when he said the kind of love he has for his wife is the kind that forgives ahead of any offence.

    Wives, especially, need to know that the rich guy and dashing guy of today may become a shadow of himself someday, due to situation beyond his control.

    I know there are some unforeseen circumstances but the but couples must be ready for the worst situation sometimes and have the capacity to take the best decision after exhausting all possible options for resolving their differences instead of resorting to killing.

    True love, and not any other thing, which is supposed to be the basis of marriage, requires a lot of mutual sacrifice and understanding based on the injunction of the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8:

    Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

    It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

    Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

    Love never fails.

    Amos 3:3 asked the crucial question that can guarantee everlasting love: Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so? No, they can’t. They have to always agree.

     

  • Wife seeks dissolution of 24 year-old-marriage

    …says there’s no more love

    A house wife, Salamat Aladejobi on Tuesday asked a Customary Court sitting in Oye-Ekiti in Ekiti to dissolve her 24 year-old-marriage to her husband, Kadri Aladejobi due to lack of love.

    The petitioner, in her application for divorce, told the court that her husband was very fetish, saying that she was no longer in love with him.

    She said the union contracted according to Islamic rite, had produced four grown up children.

    She claimed that her husband was in the habit of assaulting her without any provocation, saying that all attempt by family members to intervene had proved abortive

    Salamat urged the court to grant her application for dissolution of her marriage.

    The respondent, who denied the allegations, told the court that he was not contesting the application for divorce.

    President of the Court, Mr Rasak Balogun however, adjourned the case to June 12 for judgment.

  • My husband is a debtor, says divorce-seeking wife

    A woman on Friday urged a Sharia Court in Minna to dissolved her seven-year-old marriage over husband’s indebtedness to her.

    The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that Fatima had approached the court seeking the dissolution of her marriage to Ibrahim Mohammed over unsettled debt of N100, 000.

    She said her husband borrowed the money immediately they got married and had since not paid.

    Read Also:Housewife remanded for killing husband with `rat poison’

    She also accused her husband of not performing his duty of feeding her, the children and taking care of other needs.

    Mohammed denied the allegations, but said he too was no longer interested in the marriage.

    He, however, did not object to the wife’s request for a divorce.

    He accused his wife of not taking good care of his children as well as starving him of sex.

    In his ruling, the judge, Mr. Ahmed Bima, adjourned the case until June 8 for the dissolution of the marriage and to look into the counter-claims of the husband.

  • Cleric laments rising cases of divorce in churches

    Pastor Adebola Ogunleye of the Foursquare Gospel Church on Sunday in Lagos said that the rate of divorce among Christians was alarming.

     

    Delivering a sermon entitled, “Maximizing Godly Impact for the Family”, the cleric said family strife was on the rise and urged brethren to address root causes of marriage problems leading to divorce.

     

    “Today, it is no longer news that pastors are beating up their wives and divorce has crept into the church.

     

    “Divorce of convenience is what we see in the church today.

     

    “It is becoming a vogue in church which must stop,” he said.

     

    He called on couples to constantly review their relationships and correct all the wrongs, adding that they should also seek Godly counsel from church elders where there were bigger issues they could not handle alone.

     

    He also warned against wrong counsels and advised couples to guide against external influences that could cause trouble in the home and family.

     

    He urged women to be submissive to their husbands and warned husbands to always love their wives and guide against ungodly ego that could affect harmony in marriage.

     

    He listed factors for having Godly homes to include, positive personal principles, proactive parenting and prayerfulness.

     

    He said that each member of the family had a role to play, adding that they all needed to make personal decisions to make the home work.

     

    “Parents need the principles of Godliness and holiness, children need to have that principle too,” he said.

     

    The cleric urged couples to have positive influence on their children and serve as role models for a better family and society.

     

    He explained that Satan attacked the first family of Adam by causing hatred and division that led one of the children, Cain, to kill his brother, Abel.

    He added that Satan was still attacking marriages and families till today.

     

    He stressed the need for peace and harmony in the home to create a conducive atmosphere for raising Godly children.

     

    “We should not follow the world pattern of parenting, if your child is wearing his trousers like American prisoners and you pass it for fashion, it’s wrong.

     

    “We must let our children know it should be God first, God last, God in between and God always. Teach them to know that God is not an option, God should be everything,” he said.

     

    He said fathers should learn to be role models and not just those who give mandates.

     

    “Children do much more of what they see us do than what we say,” he said.

     

    He called on the church to always organize constant inclusive programs to strengthen the family unit and reduce the rising rates of divorce.

     

    The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that the cleric led couples with troubled marriages to pray for peace and regeneration of their homes.

     

    NAN further reports that the month of May was chosen by the Foursquare Gospel Church, Cement Zonal Headquarters, as its Family Month. (NAN).

  • Woman divorces husband for starving her sex for 2 years

    The five-year-old marriage between a 35-year-old trader, Bilikisu Azeez and her husband, Olusesi, was on Friday dissolved by an Igando Customary Court in Lagos on grounds of sex-starvation.

    Bilikisu had told the court that her husband, Olusesi, starved her of sex for more than two years, a development which, she said, had affected her health.

    “My husband has been starving me of sex since he married his youngest wife; he has turned me to an abandoned property.

    “I have been falling sick in and out of hospital, during my last visit to the hospital, I was told that it was because I have not had sex for long that is why I experience frequent sickness.”

    She also accused her husband of not caring for her and the only child of the marriage, saying “my husband does not take care of me, I feed and clothe myself.

    “He refused to enroll our only child, who is over four years old in school and has failed to pay his medical bills; I always run to my mother for the hospital bill.”

    Bilikisu, who also accused her husband of battery, said he had beaten her publicly which resulted in her fainting.

    According to her, the trouble started when her husband brought in a third wife.

    She continued: “There was joy, love and peace in the house until he came with another wife, who has been fighting me also.”

    She urged the court to dissolve the union so that she can move on with her life.

    Read Also: Advice for women: Sex is food

    Olusesi, in his response to the allegations, accepted that he starved the woman of sex.

    “She once denied me of sex and since then I abandoned her.

    “Yes, I starved her of sex, it is tit for tat because there was a day I entered her room to sleep with her and she left the bed to sleep on the floor.

    “I made an attempt eight times to sleep with her, but she refused. So since that day, I just put her aside after all she is not the only wife I have,” he told the court.

    The 45-year-old building contractor also consented to the dissolution of the marriage, saying he too was no longer interested in the marriage.

    The court president, Mr Akin Akinniyi, while delivering the judgment said that it appeared that the estranged couple were tired of the marriage as all efforts to reconcile them had failed.

    “Since both parties consented to the dissolution of their marriage, this court has no choice than to dissolve the marriage.

    “The court hereby pronounces the marriage between Mrs Bilikisu Azeez and Mr Olusesi Azeez dissolved today.

    “Both of you henceforth cease to be husband and wife, each of you should go on his or her separate ways unmolested.

    “The court wishes both of you well in your future endeavour. Any squabble between both of you from now on shall be treated as criminal.

    “Any violation of this judgment will be regarded as contempt of court and will attract imprisonment without option of fine,” Akinniyi ruled.

  • Housewife seeks divorce for lack of food

    A housewife, Aisha Mohammed, yesterday  approached a Sharia Court in Minna, Niger State, seeking the dissolution of her marriage to Mohammed Shaba.

    Aisha accused her husband of failing to provide funds for her maintenance for the past seaven months.

    “In the last seven months, my husband has not lived up to his responsibility of putting food on the table at home.

    “He has failed in providing for my general maintenance and I cannot bear it anymore.

    “This is why I am begging this honourable court to dissolve the marriage,” Aisha said.

    Shaba, however, denied his wife’s allegations, saying he had always done his best for her.

    He said he still loved his wife and was against divorce.

    The judge, Ahmed Bima, advised the couple to give peace a chance, saying marriage requires patience and understanding.

    He said he would give the couple a chance to resolve their differences.

    Bima adjourned the case till May 21.

  • Housewife seeks divorce over lack of food, maintenance

    A housewife, Aisha Mohammed, on Tuesday  approached a Sharia Court in Minna seeking the dissolution of her marriage to her husband, Mohammed Shaba for not providing food in the house.

    Mohammed also accused Shaba of failing to provide funds for her general maintenance for the past seven months.

    “For the past seven months, my husband has not lived up to his responsibility of putting food on the table at home.

    “He has also failed in providing for my general maintenance and I cannot bear it anymore.

    “That is why I am begging this honourable court to bring the marriage to an end by doing the needful,” she said.

    Shaba, however, denied his wife’s claims saying he had always done his best for her.

    He maintained that he still loved his wife and would not want them to go their separate ways.

    In his ruling, the presiding Judge, Ahmed Bima advised the couple to give peace a chance, adding that marriage requires a lot of patience and understanding.

    Bima said that he would give the couple a chance to try and resolve their differences amicably’.

    He, therefore, adjourned the case until May 21, for report of settlement.

    Read Also: Woman seeks divorce over husband’s indifference to childlessness

  • Woman seeks divorce over husband’s indifference to childlessness

    A housewife, Halima Usman, has approached a Sharia Court in Minna, seeking dissolution of her marriage to Suleiman Mohammed, because of the latter’s alleged indifference to their childlessness, over two years of getting married.

    The housewife told the court that her husband was not worried about the childlessness.

    She told the court that due to her husband’s attitude on the issue, she no longer loves her.

    “I do not love and adore my husband any longer.

    “We have been married for two years plus without a child, and he is not worried or doing anything about it at all.

    “That is why I am asking this court to end our marriage,” she said.

    The petitioner also alleged that her husband was secretly making plans to marry another wife.

    Mohammed, however, denied his wife’s claims, saying he still loves her and would not want them to go separate ways.

    He prayed the court to give him more time to prevail on his wife to remain with him.

    The judge, Ahmed Bima, advised the couple to give peace a chance.

    Bima reminded the couple that only God gives children.

    The judge adjourned the matter until April 18 for both parties to resolve their differences.

  • Unemployed man seeks divorce from drunken wife

    Unemployed man seeks divorce from drunken wife

    A 54-year-old divorce seeking man, Mr Sheyi Imoohi, on Thursday asked an Ikorodu Customary Court in Lagos State to dissolve his marriage because his wife was a drunk.

    Imoohi, presently unemployed, told the court that he was no longer interested in the four-year-old marriage which is blessed with one child.

    The husband, who lives at Agbede Transformer, Agric Road in Ikorodu, described his fifth wife as a drunk and a trouble maker.

    “My wife drinks a lot; I mean she drinks to stupor. She usually fights me and threatens to kill me.

    “I am no longer in love with her; please separate us,” the petitioner pleaded with the court.

    Responding, the 35-year-old wife, Sarah, who is also unemployed, denied the claims and accused her husband of taking her to the beer parlour where she drinks.

    “My husband is not saying the truth; I don’t drink the way he described me; I drink only when I follow him to beer parlour.

    “My husband is a flirt and any money he has will be spent on other women. He sometimes asks me if he can still marry his ex-wife.

    “He wants to divorce me so he can marry another wife; please I pray for settlement, “she said.

    The Court President, Mrs Funmi Adeola ordered the couple to remain at peace while the court investigates the matter.

    She also ordered the husband to pay N3,000 feeding allowance for their child through the court.

    Areola adjourned the case until Feb. 20 for continued hearing or judgment.

    NAN

  • Wife seeks divorce over husband’s laziness, lack of love

    Wife seeks divorce over husband’s laziness, lack of love

    A house wife, Joke, has asked an Agege Customary Court, Lagos, to dissolve her 26-year-old marriage to her 54-year-old husband, Azeez Isiaka, over alleged lack of love, laziness and acts of irresponsibility.

    Joke, a civil servant, in her petition for divorce, said that her unemployed husband had refused to seek new employment since he lost his job years ago.

    She told the court that his husband had become insensitive to the family welfare because of his joblessness.

    “My husband does not beat me, but l go through psychological and verbal abuse in his hands every day.

    “He is not appreciative of all my endeavours, embarrasses me at will and `talks down at me even in the public.”

    ” The emotional stress is unbearable; l pray the court to separate us so that I can live comfortably.

    “He is lazy and frustrated, thereby transferring his aggression to everybody around him,” she said.

    The respondent, who did not object to the application for dissolution of the 26 years old marriage, did not also deny the applicant’s allegations.

    He told the court that he stopped contributing to the welfare of the children’s upkeep three years ago because he had not job, adding that the petitioner was free to re-marry.

    The court’s President, Mrs. Ibironke Elabor, who advised the estranged couple to keep the peace, adjourned the suit until Feb. 20, for alternative dispute resolution.

    NAN