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Tag: domestic violence

  • ‘Why I became passionate about domestic violence’

    ‘Why I became passionate about domestic violence’

    Hauwa Rebecca Sodeinde, a gender equality advocate, an author and school owner, speaks to Medinat Kanabe about her passion and what inspired her to be an activist. 

    How did you start?
    I started by following my passion for teaching. I started working at a British School in Ikoyi, Lagos, after which I started my own school some years later. I went into women and children later and started a community called Hauk community. Here I started seeking help for members suffering from violence, which was our focal point. After a while, we decided to incorporate it into a non governmental organisation to enable other stakeholders to partner and see to the reduction of domestic violence issues, especially against women.
    We then started our yearly event in 2015 where we gather women and men together to talk about issues relating to violence and how to help reduce its rate of occurrence.
    What are the challenges you faced before you got to where you are today?
    Challenges are natural. They come without your permission. And yes, I faced challenges.
    What was growing up like?
    Growing up was fun. I am the third in a family of six.
    I had a younger brother who would beat me at every opportunity. I grew up to learn it was as a result of what he saw in my house where there was always a heat between mum and dad.
    What inspired you?
    Growing up seeing my mum and dad fight every time taught me not to want to get married. I always wanted a solitary life where I was free to be myself without being any man’s slave. My mentality changed after a short encounter and I decided not to let what happened between my dad and mom control my life.
    How do you combine family and everything you do?
    It’s been the grace of God. I thank God for the husband he gave me who is always ready to fill in for me whether I am present or absent.
    In what ways does your husband support you in achieving these?
    He assists in chores….he listens to my silly ideas. He waits for me
    to fail and then picks me up again. He doesn’t give up on me and
    doesn’t laugh at my mistakes. That, to me, is all the encouragement I need.
    Tell us about your foundation
    Hauk Foundation was founded with the sole aim of reducing the level of violence in our immediate environment. We teach people to worry not just about themselves but also about their neighbours.
    We understand that people going through violence can be silent but will need just one selfless person to help them out of the often time deadly situations.
    What about the school?
    Hauk Explorers School was founded to cater for the immediate
    educational needs of children on the mainland.
    After working on the Island, I realised our system of education was way different from what we have on the mainland. Manpower, resources and all; I decided to start something small to attempt bridging this gap.
    I also realised most children were left in care of domestic staff and
    sometimes end up abused and so I created a safe home where children can stay till late and be picked up. As a primary, we also have a boarding section to give children proper attention.
    Who are your role models?
    Pastor Sam Adeyemi. After attending his leadership school, my ideals about life and purpose changed completely. I love reading the works of T.D Jakes….they inspire me anytime.
    And, of course, my husband who can have faith for Africa. I have never seen his kind and when I look at him I know I still have some work to do.
    Do you have any regrets in life?
    I used to. But now I know that my mistakes made me who I am today.
    What keeps you going?
    God.
    Where do you see yourself in five years?
    I see myself doing what I am doing now on a bigger level. Reaching out to communities; making hope alive.
    What advice do you have for people who want to be like you?
    No one should want to be like someone else. Everyone should attempt to discover purpose and look up to God for instruction.
    What advice do you have for women generally?
    Empower yourselves. Do not compete with anyone. Do not lord it over your husband even when you earn more than he does. You are meant to work as one. The devil is out to destroy marriages; don’t let yours be one of such.
    What advice do you have for men?
    Please realise that the woman’s genetic make-up isn’t the same as yours. A woman can argue all she wants but don’t ever bring yourself to her level. A friend will always say: when a man is in love a new mumu is born. Do not let ego get to you. Your marriage is in your hands.
    What about school owners?
    Be passionate about what you do. School isn’t about money but about global impact. I look at children I taught years ago all around the world now and I am proud I was able to leave my mark.

  • A woman’s war against domestic violence

    A woman’s war against domestic violence

    Dr Joe Okei-Odumakin  easily comes  to mind anytime and anywhere the querulous and contentious issue of domestic violence comes to the public sphere, for heated discourse and needed action. She is the president of the globally recognised human rights groups – Women Arise for Change Initiative and Campaign for Democracy. Both groups have handled more than 6,000 cases  of gender-based domestic violence in Nigeria over the years.

    Perhaps, there will be another time and place to eulogise this unique Nigerian woman of uncommon courage, candour and compassion, who, in my humble estimation, rightly deserves a national honour. That is, for her unflinching zeal and commitment towards the drastic reduction of the socio-economic malaise that has sent not a few fellow Nigerians to their early grave.

    So, as the world keys into this year’s International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, which began on November 25 and related activities stretching to December 10, 2017,  the  Human Rights Day,  Nigerians cannot, but be seriously concerned about the swelling wave of domestic violence spreading across the country. But  first, what is it, the root  causes, signs and signals as well as the solutions that would drastically reduce it to its barest minimum?

    According to Wikipedia: “Domestic violence” is now commonly defined broadly to include “all acts of physical, sexual, psychological or economic violence” that may be committed by a family member or intimate partner. In the Nigerian scenario a consultant psychiatrist, Dr Maymunah Kadiri, said about 25 per cent of women in Nigeria have to go through the ordeal of domestic violence. The worst forms of them are battering, trafficking, rape and homicide. While domestic violence is a violation of fundamental human rights, which the Nigerian Constitution is against, there are no stringent enforcements. According to the Cable, only 2 per cent of such crimes are reported.

    Lagos  State alone has recorded a total of 852  cases of domestic violence between January and September 2017, according to the state’s Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team led by the  state’s Attorney General and Commissioner for Justice, Mr Adeniji Kazeem. He made this public while commemorating the Domestic and Sexual Violence Awareness month,

    Odumakin in a recent lecture described the domestic violence menace as a Tsunami, by reeling out several related disturbing incidents. For instance, women are subjected to different forms of violence- physical, sexual, psychological, and economic- both within and outside their homes. There was the instance of a woman, who couldn’t get pregnant but unfortunately when she finally put to bed, she was beaten to death by the husband because he thought the baby looked like his father, instead of him! Also, a banker was stabbed to death 76 times by her husband on her husband’s birthday. Modupe’s hair was scrapped with a bottle by her husband.

    Another housewife, by the name Fatima, had her face lacerated by her husband because of lack of fish tail in his meal! A mother of three, was physically abused by her husband for her failure to cook the meal of his choice even when he gives her N3,000 to prepare meals for the whole month!  A woman’s eye was blinded with a knife by her husband on the excuse of infidelity. There was the dastardly tragedy of one Obanye  Chizoba whose face and bosoms were distorted by the acid poured on her by her uncle’s wife. A 96 year-old-man physically abused his 86 year-old wife, who he caught having an affair with an electrician. There was the despicable act of a father who slept with his three daughters and impregnated them many times, while his wife was forced to abort them! A house girl was  chained and abused in  Arepo. One Roseline was suffocated by her husband, but was resurrected, yet her husband finally slit her throat a few months later!

    But some  men also suffer from the hands of their wicked wives. The recent act of Maryam Sanda, now in police net for allegedly stabbing her husband Bilyaminu Haliru Bello, severally on his genitals that led to his death comes to mind. It was  based on allegations of infidelity after seeing a text message on his phone. Yet, there have been other incredible acts of domestic violence.

    The irony in all these crimes is that most, if not all, could have been prevented! So, what are the root causes? In  Odumakin’s candid view “domestic violence is caused by the abuser’s desire for power and control. This stems from an imbalance of power between the sexes and often time, not caused by alcohol, drugs, unemployment, stress or ill health. These are only excuses or justifications for an abuser’s behaviour. Society’s stereotypical beliefs and negative attitudes towards the roles of men and women, have promoted this more.”

    The first firm step forward towards reducing domestic violence cases is by mass public enlightenment. This should involve related government agencies, human rights groups and the mass media. They should work with the community, local schools and local companies to organise workshop and seminars, town hall meetings and other group sessions to talk about this issue.

    In this regard, one would commend The Sun Newspaper for staging a walk against prevalence of violence affecting women and children in the society beyond reporting the vices. The walk was graced by human rights activists, journalists and entertainment celebrities from the Nollywood and music industries. Nigerians should borrow a leaf from the Joe Slovo Foundation that is raising funds to support various groups helping female victims of Abuse, Violence and Assault.

    One would also want to identify and commend the patriotic efforts of both Lagos State Governor Akinwunmi Ambode and his wife, Bolanle, for raising the stake against this monster. For instance, the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team, (DSVRT), set up by the  government has revealed that in the past two years, it has helped to raise the bar in seeking justice and welfare for victims of various forms of abuses in the state.

    Furthermore, Ambode is adding bite to the state’s bark against domestic violence. A Nigerian woman identified as Mary  Sunday, who was assaulted by her fiancé Isaac Gbanwua, a police officer has thanked Governor Ambode for sponsoring her treatment in India at a cost of N9.5 million.

    On her part, Mrs Ambode, has condemned in the strongest possible terms, the vexed issue of domestic violence, against the backdrop of one Mr Lekan Shonde, who allegedly beat his wife to death at the Egbeda suburb of the state. Also, Edo State  Governor, Mr. Godwin Obaseki, has called for global alliance and enactment of responsive legislation to stem the tide of gender-based violence and trafficking of girls to assure better future for girls and women.

    All hands must, therefore, be on deck to pilot family affairs out of the stormy waters of domestic violence. It is an ill wind that blows no one any good.

     

    • Baje, a journalist, writes from Lagos

     

  • Let’s stop violence against women today

    Let’s stop violence against women today

    The world we live in is satiated with various malevolent practices; one of which is violence.

    Violence against women is regarded a hard crime propelled by bias.

    According to Kofi Annan, the Secretary General of United Nations ( UN ) in 2006, “violence against women and girls is a problem of pandemic proportions.”

    At least one out of every three women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in their lifetime with the abuser usually someone known to her.

    Women all over the world are victims of various kinds of violent treatment from the society, especially men.

    Categories of violence against women include rape, domestic violence, sexual harassment, female infanticide (which involves the deliberate killing of female newborns), Female Genital Mutilation (FGM)- Female circumcision.

    Other forms include marriage by abduction, honour killing, sexual slavery forced prostitution and women trafficking.

    Sexual harassment is the cohesion of a sexual nature.

    It involves unwelcome sexual advances, request for sexual favours, verbal or physical harassment.

    Though there are laws against sexual harassment, but these laws do not forbid offhand comments or simple teasing.

    The International day for the elimination of violence against women was designated by UN on 17th December 1999,

    in honour of the Mirabal sisters.

    The Mirabal sisters – Patria Mercedes Mirabal Reyes,

    MarĂ­a Argentina Minerva Mirabal Reyes and Antonia Maria Teresa Mirabal Reyes were from the Republic of Dominican.

    They stood to oppose the dictatorship of Rafael LeĂłnidas Trujillo (the Dominican dictator at that time).

    They were involved in secretive activities against his regime.

    All three of them were assassinated on their way home by Trujillo’s henchmen on November 25, 1960.

    Their demise became symbols of popular and feminist resistance.

    So in 1999, United Nations General Assembly chose November 25 to be the International day for the elimination of violence against women, with Phumzile Mlambo Ngcuka as the Executive Director of UN women.

    This day is celebrated annually worldwide.

    This movement started with the aim of raising awareness that women all over the globe are subject to all forms of violent practices; this is a pointer to the fact that the scale and true nature of the issue is often hidden.

    Some people believe that women should not do some kind of jobs because they are women (gender inequality). In fact, some totally go against women having a say in their homes or choosing who they want to spend the rest of their lives with (forced marriage).

    Others see them as punching bags that are readily available for them to vent their anger (domestic violence).

    This is why we should all arise to fight against this menace that it eating deep into our societies.

    Cases of domestic violence, rape and the likes should have weighty penalties which would serve as a lesson to others.

    It starts with you, whoever you are, wherever you may be, support the elimination of violence against our mothers, our sisters, our daughters and friends and the world be a better place to live in.

    Orange your world!

  • Fighting domestic violence with art

    Fighting domestic violence with art

    Tracy Augustine is a final year Graphics student at the University of Port Harcourt, Rivers State, Nigeria. At first glance, her colourful digital painting and subject matter is distinctively contemporary.

    Augustine’s narrative digital paintings are filled with energetic mix of colours and figures. Her works tackle topics related to African women and lifestyle, which are sources of her inspiration.

    “My reason for painting African women and hairstyles is to encourage young women to accept their culture as it is our identity and it affords us due recognition than adapting to the borrowed culture,” said the twenty-one-year-old from Abia State.

    “For example, how many native wears do most Nigerian women have compared to their English wears? Our culture is being neglected?” she noted.

    According to her, in time past the African women were known for their thick black afro hair and it was believed by the Africans that if a woman has a thick hair, she will have many children, farms and riches, which is the other reason she illustrates the thick black hair of African woman rather than artificial hair.

    She claimed that her painting style called Vector painting was developed during her Industrial Training. She revealed that she tried to do something new, which was how she came up with this style of painting, thus, she went on by researching online and discovered amazing works by a graphic artist named Thomas di Vingni and got motivated.

    The young artist is currently campaigning against domestic violence against women and children with her artworks.

    “Most women in Nigeria are victims of domestic violence, the paintings are to create awareness that can be helped.”

    To her, “poverty is a major cause of domestic violence.”

    Although she has not had any exhibition, but Augustine has been able to sell few of her works. One can say in no time that she will establish herself as one of the best digital painters from Nigeria.

     

  • Nigerians charged to build bridges for quality relationships

    Nigerians charged to build bridges for quality relationships

    Nigerians have been enjoined to build bridges as this will help in finding common ground for robust relationship and conflict resolution among them.

    Speaking at the maiden edition of TEDx Mende Women Conference which was tagged “Yes, We Can Build Bridges” and held at G.R. A, Ikeja, Lagos, Senator Tokunboh Ogunbanjo, a lawyer in his address emphasized the need for people to identify and promote practice and policy that will create strong and closely coordinated partnerships and collaborations between families, youth, community and the society.

    According to Ogunbanjo, all hands must be on deck to advance partnerships among residential and community-based service providers, youth, and families to improve lives.

    Bridges in the words of the Curator of the Conference, Florence Atunwa Olumodimu, are links which as individuals, we build, transverse and sometimes even burn for better or worse. “When we support each other, then we start to build bridges. For this to occur, we must see each other as equals”, said Olumodimu.

    In her topic titled Women, Disability and Invisibility, Uri Ngozichukwuka, pointed out that any form of disability is the same; hence we all have disabilities in one area or the other. “However,
    disabilities are not liabilities; there is need for us to build bridges of empathy. If you cannot see ability in someone, that in itself is disability,” she said.

    She therefore enjoined people to assess people based on their ability.

    Domestic Violence according to the Executive Director, Project Alert, Josephine Effah-Chukwuma, knows no bound, it cut across age, religion, educational background and it can either be physical or emotional. For domestic violence to be totally eradicated, Chukwuma said there is
    need to engage men as mentors and role model adding that not all men are abusive.

    In her own words, the former Director General, Nigeria Tourism Development Corporation, NTDC, Sally Mbanefo, urged working mothers to create time to mentor their children by creating positive character bridges in them.

    According to Mbanefo, the purpose of building bridges could be to provide an escape from poverty to prosperity, from sickness to health, among others, hence the need to build strong character bridges.

    TED is an annual event that brings together the world’s leading thinkers and doers to share ideas that matter in any discipline — technology, entertainment, design, science, humanities, business,
    development. The talks at the conference, called TED Talks, are then made available to watch for free on TED.com. In the spirit of “ideas worth spreading,” TED has created TEDx, a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. TED is a global community, welcoming people from every discipline and culture who seek a deeper understanding of the world.

    TED believes passionately in the power of ideas to change attitudes, lives and, ultimately, the world.

    TEDxWomen brings together a global community of people interested in exploring how change begins: with innovative thinkers who catalyze ideas toward action. Over the past few years, TEDWomen and TEDxWomen have launched some powerful ideas into the world.

  • Natures Gentles Touch advocates against domestic violence

    In line with its commitment to advancing the cause of women, Natures Gentle Touch has thrown its weight behind Campire Films on its latest project, “Omoye”, a movie that addresses the social vice of domestic violence.

    At a press conference to announce the movie, the General Manager, Natures Gentle Touch, Chijioke Anaele, remarked that “Omoye” speaks to one of the most disregarded and pressing issues in Nigeria, for which all hands must be on deck to get rid of, for a saner, healthier society.

    His words: “Our partnership with Campfire Films is one of the ways Natures Gentle Touch seeks to promote the confidence and self-esteem of Nigerian women, who majorly are our target market and, unfortunately, often at the receiving end of domestic violence. We are convinced that everybody will benefit from a sane and stable society. ‘Omoye’ is one movie that will contribute in arousing public consciousness about the vice, thereby helping to shape orientation for a better Nigerian society devoid of violence.”

    The company is taking this corporate initiative as part of ways to continually impact the lives of its customers by connecting with them through their passion points.

    According to the Brand Manager, Natures Gentle Touch, Anita Anosike, in addition to powering the movie, Natures Gentle Touch has also concluded plans on a walk against domestic violence to further project the importance of curbing the menace. “Although like every other evil, domestic violence might be tough to eradicate, we must continually raise awareness on its negative effects, not just us as individuals but also on the society at large. This is the core of this movie and that is why we are passionately supporting it as well as organizing a walk to raise consciousness against domestic violence,” she quipped.

    On the theme of the movie, the Director and Co-producer, Uche Chukwu, stated that “Omoye” is a movie that connects with victims of domestic violence, especially in the ghettos. “Though in recent times we have seen victims come out to speak about their experiences, but ‘what about the woman in Ajegunle, Makoko, Egbeda, etc. who considers it a prerogative of the rich to speak out against domestic violence?’ ‘Omoye’, will give voice to these voiceless majority, which is why we deliberately chose the location and the kind of story to tell,” he said. “Omoye” is set to hit cinemas across the country, October 27, 2017 and will also be screened in designated underprivileged communities across the country.

  • HEARTS…a story of love, heartbreak and life [CONCLUDING PART]

    HEARTS…a story of love, heartbreak and life [CONCLUDING PART]

    It is 3:30am in the early hours of the morning. The cock is yet to be astir to herald the dawning of a new day. Silence seemed so loud, and the only company Amarachi had was the chirping of crickets, and the “tick tack” rhythmic sounds from the humongous wooden clock that hung on the wall of their living room. Her eyes were heavy and deluged with bags and intermittent downing of tears; her entire being was overwhelmed with sordid emotions.

    Ping! Ping!! Ping!!! Femi’s Blackberry phone buzzed with pings from Amarachi. “Where did this Yoruba boy drop his phone?” she said with a slightly worried and contoured face. “Only God knows what he is doing at the moment? He might as well be with a girl, or is he drunk again with his friends…, wait a minute, hope he is not in trouble?” Amarachi’s mind paced back and forth with very squalid thoughts of what her “partner” Femi might be up to.

    While Femi was chasing and wooing her, he did not have to overstretch his luck and masculine prowess to win the primed and already vulnerable heart of Amarachi. Femi didn’t only look or talk the part, he also “acted” the part; he sent her gifts, took her to beautiful and exotic places; their lifestyle seemed so perfect that anytime they went out, ladies all around would go green with envy – wishing they were in Amarachi’s shoes. As the saying goes, “only the wearer of a shoe knows where it pinches”, looks can be very deceptive.

    Read also: HEARTS…a story of love, heartbreak and life [PART ONE]

    If the envious ladies had been more discerning to look closely at the corner eye of Amarachi which was covered with a dark shade of fancy spectacles, they would have noticed her left eye was black; one that Femi so graciously brandished with constant battery, bludgeoning and pummelling. Maybe then, they would not have admired but pitied her condition.

    During the early days of their relationship, she had noticed quite a few unsettling behaviours that Femi would usually display. He would call her obnoxious and derogatory names, hit her slightly in the head when he is upset with her, and would hang out with different ladies at different times at night clubs and beer parlours. Because of her desperate need and fixation for a “father figure”, affirmation, and validation she stuck with him, in the hope that she would change him one day.

    Read also: HEARTS…a story of love, heartbreak and life [PART TWO]

    Now, it is 3:30am in the early hours of the morning. The cock is yet to be astir to herald the dawning of a new day. Silence seemed so loud, and the only company Amarachi had was the chirping of crickets, and the “tick tack” rhythmic sounds from the humongous wooden clock hanging on the wall of their living room. Her eyes were heavy and deluged with intermittent downing of tears; her entire being was overwhelmed with sordid emotions. It seemed like history was about to repeat itself because her mother went through a similar ordeal in the hands of her dad. The only difference was that she wasn’t married to Femi yet, but they were already cohabiting.

    Being in a relationship with Femi didn’t complete her because she still felt the void from two years earlier when her parents’ marriage of over twenty years dissolved like a melting ice. There is still a hole in her soul that wouldn’t heal.

    Knock! Knock!! Knock!!! “Would you come and open this door for me this minute before I break you with the door?” Femi said. He was outside wallowing in the cesspool of his vomit; he had gone clubbing with his cronies and had gotten himself drunk again. This seems to be the new normal for Femi. Amarachi rushed to the door, her fragile hands were shaky and wobbly because she did not know what to expect after she opens the door. As she summoned the courage to unlock the door, Femi bashed into the house very angrily, irrational, and unsteady because of the excessive alcohol he had drowned his system with.

    “Rain, rain, go away, come again another day…hmmm…ahhhh…” Femi sang as he staggered and took a giddy posturing. “Woman, how dare you lock me outside? I will deal mercilessly with you!” Before Amarachi could explain and calm him down, he launched out his already positioned hand and landed a debilitating slap on her already battered face. She fell to the ground, stood up and ran for dear life. He threw his half empty bottle of vodka at her but missed as she pranced and traversed all the corners of the living room. As she ran up the stairs, Femi ran after her; he grabbed her so tightly that she could hardly breathe, and as she struggled with him on the stairs she inadvertently pushed him just to free herself from his bestial clamp. Nooo…she screamed and watched as Femi rolled and desultorily fell down the stairs. SHE SCREAMED…SOME BODY HELP ME!!!

    Whether you find yourself in the position of Amarachi or Femi, or neither of the two, it is very important to understand that the coming together or joining of hearts is not meant for two unstable and emotionally infantile individuals.

    “Hurting people” hurt people.

    A romantic relationship will not cure your inordinate cravings and addictions; neither will it fill the emotional void you constantly feel as a result of trauma or neglect. You cannot steer the ship of your relationship successfully having the wrong notions, mind-sets, and unrealistic expectations.

    Looks can be very deceptive. They say not all that glitter is gold, however, as an addendum, not all that is gold is good for you! This might be the singular determinant of whether your life will be a worthy example or a complete disaster. If you feel lost and vulnerable, please don’t suffer in silence, talk to somebody, preferably a counselor.

    If you are going through domestic violence or know someone who needs help, please can contact the appropriate agency of government.

     

    By Moses Emorinken

    Email: brandphase@yahoo.com

    Twitter: @memorinken

    Instagram: @memorinken

  • Lagos sensitises pupils over domestic violence

    The Lagos State Government has commenced engagement of 5,000 Primary and Secondary school pupils on Child Rights and Child Abuse as well as all forms of sexual and domestic violence.

    The initiative is also geared towards empowering them with their roles and responsibilities in handling and preventing such issues.

    Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT) Coordinator Mrs. Titilola Vivour-Adeniyi in a statement said the sensitisation was hinged on their rights, child abuse, victim of sexual abuse, self-defence tips, and preservation of evidence when physically or sexually assaulted.

    She said DSVRT has also commenced the Smart Teens Advocacy Initiative (STAI), which is targeted at secondary school pupils.

    “STAI is one of the strategies deployed to fight the increasing rape cases in Secondary Schools. We believe this would go a long way in curbing incidents of Domestic violence, Child Abuse and Sexual Abuse amongst teens,” she said.

    The pupils were also equipped with relevant materials, textbooks and posters which can be displayed conspicuously in the school premises to serve as a reminder.

  • HEARTS…a story of love, heartbreak and life [PART TWO]

    HEARTS…a story of love, heartbreak and life [PART TWO]

    In pretence, he would gloat with his shoulders raised high in the presence of his goons. However, deep within him was the ensnared little man in manacles and chains of addictions; crying for help. The heaps of adulations from his friends were millstones and burdens weighing heavy on his soul. He felt lost, empty, finished and dry.

    Fast forward into the seminar hall where she is conveniently seated with other participants and of course, the charmer – “Mr Femi”.

    Femi, on the other hand just could not help himself because the innocent-looking, gregarious, and adorable Amarachi had caught his fancy. His mind was so busy with thoughts and plots to win her heart that he unconsciously voiced the words – “I must get her!”. The person seated next to him quickly turned to Femi’s direction and shook is head…he must have muttered – “i am so sorry for you”. Femi quickly comported himself and at least pretended to be listening to the facilitator.

    Read also: HEARTS…a story of love, heartbreak and life [PART ONE]

    Now Femi hasn’t always been a serial womaniser, in fact, he was a well brought up and cultured young man from a well-to-do family. He was an only son amongst three female siblings who were always in the boarding school. His early childhood was not so different from an average child that lives in Lagos. He played on the streets under the sun and in the rain, enjoyed comic books and videos games, displayed some caricature Jackie Chan moves after watching one of the classic movies, and hated to have his bath twice daily; he did what boys his age would normally do.

    However, his days of innocence were coming to an end rather too early at the age of 11 when his entrepreneur dad and banker mom decided to employ Edidiong as a house help. As part of her chores, she was responsible for tending to Femi – from feeding, bathing, down to bringing him from school daily. Femi hardly saw his parents even on weekends. They are usually out of the house before he’s astir in the morning and arrived very late at night when he’s already asleep. He’s always in the company and tutelage of the housemaid who cared less about him, save for her monthly emolument.

    One very unfortunate day, the unexpected happened to Femi. “Femi come here”, Edidiong said with her airy-low voice. She took him to her room, turned the key twice in a clockwise direction to lock the door, and closed the window blinds.

    Read also: HEARTS…a story of love, heartbreak and life [CONCLUDING PART]

    Femi stood transfixed in the centre of the room not having the slightest idea or premonition of what was about to go down. Aunty Edidiong, he said. What are you doing? Why are you locking the door and windows? She walked slowly towards him, drew him close to herself and said “let me show you something!” That was the beginning of the end of the affable and morally cultured Femi. She abused him sexually and threatened to take his life should he report the incident to anyone, especially his parents.

    Edidiong stayed with his family as their housemaid for another seven years. These years were a gestation period into sexual addiction and inordinate foray for Femi. His mind and body had been re-engineered, reconditioned and tampered with by the housemaid so much so that his profligacy and womanising tendencies had reached astronomical proportions before he was 18 years old.

    Now Femi is 29, every night he reminisces about his life – the scores of relationships he had been in, the hearts he had broken and other “touching” stories better left untold. He sheds tears sometimes because he knows that he could be a better man and live a better life instead of the bestial adventure that reeks from his being.

    Femi is the happening guy, the man of the moment, the ladies man, the “oshomo one” of Nigeria etc. These are some of the alias and praise names his friends would usually heap upon him. In pretence, he would gloat with his shoulders raised high in the presence of his cohorts. However, deep within him was the ensnared little man in manacles and chains of addictions; crying for help. The heaps of adulations from his friends were literally millstones and burdens weighing heavy on his soul. He felt lost, empty, finished, and dry.

    Now the program was over and Amarachi had packed her seminar materials and was heading for the bus stop when Femi quickly drove his Mercedes-Benz C-Class beside her, wind down his side window and offered to give her a lift. Please milady, can i give you a ride?

    Watch out for the concluding part…

    By Moses Emorinken

    Email: brandphase@yahoo.com

    Twitter: @memorinken

    Instagram: @memorinken

  • Airtel, Lagos partner to curb domestic, sexual violence

    Airtel, Lagos partner to curb domestic, sexual violence

    Airtel Nigeria has announceed a partnership with the Lagos State government to curb the menace of domestic and sexual violence across the metropolis.

    Through the Shortcode, 6820, both organizations are encouraging victims and other residents to report cases of domestic violence, sexual violence and child abuse.

    No doubt that Lagos is leading the campaign through the Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT) while Airtel is providing network resource for the short-code and other telecoms related support.

    Speaking at the launch of the initiative today (16/10/16), the Director of Citizens Right, Ministry of Justice, Mrs. Clara Omotilewa Ibirogba, who also chairs the DSVRT, said the use of technology in combatting sexual and gender based violence is the first of its kind in Nigeria, noting that Lagos state is optimistic that the short-code will yield great results in the fight against sexual and gender-based violence.

    Explaining how the short-code is used, Ibirogba said victims or eyewitness can either dial *6820# or send an SMS to 6820 using the key word, child abuse. Upon sending the SMS, users will receive information on steps to take for the respective case (rape, child abuse, domestic violence, etc).

    The short code will enable the government gather information that can be used for the formulation of prevention policies for Lagos state.

    “A report would also be logged and forwarded to the appropriate law enforcement Agency or Ministry,” she said.

    She also commended Airtel Nigeria for its support to the campaign and for backing the State to fight the ugly incidents of domestic violence, child abuse and sexual abuse.