The Nation Newspaper

Tag: hearts

  • Forever in their hearts

    Forever in their hearts

    The National Association of Nigerian Students (NANS) has held the maiden memorial lecture in honour of its late Senate President, Donald Onukaogu, who died alongside four others in a road crash in Abia State last year. The event took place at the Federal University of Technology, Owerri (FUTO). EMMANUEL AHANONU (Political Science, University of Calabar) reports.

    His death shook the National Association of Nigerian Students (NANS).

    NANS former Senate President, Donald Onukaogu, died in a road crash on June 13, last year, with four other students on his way to the University of Uyo (UNIUYO) to intervene in a crisis.

    The NANS bus in which they were travelling had a head-on collision with a  vehicle coming from the opposite direction on the Umuahia-Ikot-Ekpene Federal Highway.

    Other victims were Jeremiah Sorkaa, Abdulazeez Oladimeji, Japheth Duru and Asa Ejieta.

    In Donald’s memory, the leadership of NANS held a lecture with the theme: The role of students’ activism in contemporary Nigeria democracy. The event was held at the Federal University of Technology, Owerri (FUTO), where Donald was doing his Master’s degree programme  before his death. It was well-attended by students nationwide, especially FUTO students, who trooped to the Hall of Mercy, the venue of the event.

    The guests included the Senior Special Assistant to the President on Students and Youths Affairs, Comrade Jude Imagwe, FUTO’s Vice-Chancellor, Prof Chigozie Asiabaka, represented by the Dean of Students’ Affairs, Prof M.C. Ofor, Chairman of Oil and Gas Free Zone Authority, Dr Chris Asoluka, who was the guest speaker, Vice-Chancellor of the Abia State University (ABSU) in Uturu, Prof Chibuzo Ogbuagu, represented by Comrade Emma Nwoke, and the Provost of Alvan Ikoku College of Education, Dr Blessing Ijioma, represented by Dr. G. N. Okorie.

    Officials of the students’ body and leaders of the various institutions’ Students’ Union Governments (SUGs) were also at the event but the NANS president, Yinka Gbadebo, was absent.

    In his lecture, Dr Asoluka recalled the struggle of students to promote good governance and social welfare, urging the students to keep faith with the objective of their struggle. He said NANS had history of compromise and betrayal by its most vocal comrades.

    He said: “In 1958, Ahmadu Ali, as a medical student at the then University College, was the General Secretary of National Union of Nigerian Students (NUNS). In 1978, Ali was used by Olusegun Obasanjo’s military regime to proscribe NUNS, which led to Ali-Must-Go protest.”

    He urged students to reject destructive demonstration that would make people  see NANS as body of hooligans, saying they must explore 3Cs approach to solve issues with authorities as was done by past students’ leaders. The 3Cs are consultation, consolidation and confrontation.

    Imagwe said the association would forever miss the service of late Donald, saying the deceased died in his prime. He recalled his last conversation with the late Donald the night before his death, saying he warned him and other dead student not to embark on night journey to Uyo.

    He said: “We could not reverse the time; we are now coping with the reality that Donald is no more. As huge as his frame was, he could not resist death. He was a friend, brother and a humble comrade; he could go to any length to please you.”

    It was testimonies galore as friends relive memories they had with the late Donald.

    Ikechukwu Okorie, the NANS Zone B co-ordinator, said the late Donald was agu ji egbe (lion with gun). He said: “I met him three years ago. He told me students’ struggle is not for the weak. You could call him anytime and he would respond and listen to you. He was my hero, a friend, brother and a leader.”

    Prof Ogbuagu, who spoke through Nwoke, said the memorial lecture was a good development that must be sustained to remind students of the objective of unionism.

    A  drama ensued when factional NANS Senate President, John Shima, was invited to make his tribute. Thunderous shouts of rejection by students greeted the call, ostensibly to register their displeasure over the factionalisation of the association.

    John was prevented to make his comment and forced to step down from the podium after being booed by the students.

    Speaking on behalf of the SUGs, the president of Anambra State University in Uli (ANSU), Ikenna Onyenweze, said Donald was a “good man”, urging students to emulate his principle.

    Prof Ofor praised the presidential aide and students, who graced the occasion, saying the overwhelming attendance showed the values students attached to their association.

  • Forever in their hearts

    Forever in their hearts

    It was two years ago yesterday that Ngozi Agbo, popularly known as Aunty Ngozi by her admirers, especially campus journalists she took under her wings, died. These journalists that cut across higher institutions nationwide, who she fondly referred to as “my children”, pay tribute to her. OLUWAFEMI OGUNJOBI (Language Arts, Obafemi Awolowo University) writes. 

    Sweet is the remembrance of the righteous.” This biblical verse aptly describes the feelings of students, who passed through the tutelage of the late Mrs Ngozi Agbo (Nee Nwozor).

    Yesterday made it two years that their mentor and pioneer Editor of CAMPUSLIFE died. To them, the time they shared with Aunty Ngozi, as she was fondly called, remains fresh. To the students, she lives on.

    The late Mrs Agbo, according to them, left a platform for youths to pursue their dreams. Through her weekly Pushing Out, she reached out to them, counselling them to be responsible citizens.

    Two years have gone, but the tributes have not ceased coming.

    NANS

    Aunty Ngozi left us two years ago, but her memory cannot be erased from our mind. Her absence cannot make us to forget her values and legacies. We believe she is not dead because the platform through which she reached out to us is still intact. We are also proud of CAMPUSLIFE because it promoted and is still promoting good governance, transparency, and accountability on campuses. We acknowledge the role the platform played during the last Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) strike; indeed, there is no way we can talk about CAMPUSLFE without mentioning Aunty Ngozi.

     

    Taiwo Isola, 300-Level Anatomy, University of Maiduguri

    Indeed, great men die but death can never kill their names or erase their impact. Really, Aunty Ngozi’s brief stay on earth was a blessing to us. She touched and impacted the lives of youths within the short period. She promoted good virtues and detested vices. She was a motivator par excellence. Through the CAMPUSLIFE, I developed passion for writing, and each time I put pen on paper, I remember the person who encouraged me to do so. That was Aunty Ngozi.”

     

    Hammed Hamzat, 300-Level Educational Administration, University of Ibadan

    For me, CAMPUSLIFE represents hope because of the quality of young people it is breeding for the nation’s future. Personally, it gave me the opportunity to contribute my quota through writing to develop my university.

     

    Hannah Ojo, NYSC, Delta State.

    Aunty Ngozi remains that gallant heroine who bridged the generational gap by advocating a forward-thinking Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) through the annual workshop being sponsored by Coca Cola System for students in higher institutions. She saw a need and she gave her all to ensure that young people are moulded in character and good values. For me, writing for CAMPUSLIFE was not just an experience in campus journalism; it taught me journalism with social responsibility, value, character and the quest for excellence.

     

    Msonter Anzaa, 300-Level Medicine, Benue State University

    Since I joined CAMPUSLIFE, I have never had cause to regret because it is a network of young leaders, who are writing to make Nigeria a better place. While I really wished Aunty Ngozi lived longer, we must not lose sight of her immense contributions to this country. I firmly believe that in the years to come, when the story of this nation is told, people will remember that Aunty Ngozi was a significant part of it.

     

    Dhikrullah Akinola, Political Science Graduate, Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife

    My biography cannot be complete without the mention of the late Aunty Ngozi. This is because she influenced me to write. Apart from the fame my writing skill gave me on the campus, Aunty Ngozi taught me morality and selflessness through her weekly column. She mentored many of us to the extent that some of us are being celebrated within and beyond.  However, we must take solace in the fact that someone has been able to maintain the platform. We are happy that one of us continued from where Aunty Ngozi left it. This means that Aunty is not dead; she’s alive and with us.

     

  • Celebrities and their strange baby names

    celebrities are a special breed of people who seem to live in a world of their own. And an odd world it must be especially considering the outlandish names they give their offsprings. First it was music couple Beyonce and her husband Jay Z who named their little one, Blue Ivy. What were they thinking naming their child after a colour and a plant in a combo that sounds like a name of a stripper at a club like some people wondered?

    Now we have North West, the name reality TV star Kim Kardashian and her boyfriend Kanye gave their new baby girl. The name sounds more like a direction or a location on a map than a name for a child. Some Nigerians have also wondered why she chose to name her baby after a geo-political zone in the country. The name has generated controversy on the internet with posters poking fun at such a moniker.

    These are a few samples:

    ‘North West? Did Kim give birth to a baby or a compass?’

    ‘We need to successfully abolish bullying before North West gets to 4th grade.’

    North’s name follows in the tradition of celebrities giving crazy and often bizarre names to their offsprings; names that make one wonder; what were they thinking? Some of the really crazy and unusual ones include:

    Audio Science (daughter of actress Shannyn Sossamon)

    Pilot Inspector (son of actor Jason Lee)

    Harper Seven (footballer David and Victoria Beckham’s daughter)

    Moxie Crime fighter (daughter of U.S comedian Penn Jillette)

    Egypt (Alicia Keys’ son)

    Denim and Diezel (sons of singer Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis)

    Ocean and True (son and daughter respectively of Forrest Whitaker of the last King of Scotland fame)

    We might laugh at these names and think these celebrities are mad, drunk or simply stupid for giving their babies such crazy names. But what about the names we bear in this country as well? Where I come from (the Niger-Delta) must hold the record for having some of the wackiest names in the country. I have an elderly relative for instance who named four of her children: Nigeria, Independence, Tough, Lagos respectively (no explanation needed as they are self-explanatory enough).

    Then there are children named after alcoholic beverages: Brandy, Whiskey (as in Ovie-Whiskey), Heineken, Johnny (Walker), Chelsea etc. Those not from the region, hear these names and laugh. They conclude that we drink a lot that’s why we love these names. My people will argue that it’s because of the weather which can get pretty cold especially in the rural areas of the region during the rainy season. They need these drinks and the popular ogogoro to keep warm, they claim. Whatever.

    We also love colours particularly in Rivers State. So we have names like White, Green, Blue, Brown, Yellowe, Purple and others; these are stylishly combined with other names to get such monikers like Karibi-Whyte, Blue-Jack, Tom-Yellowe, Allwell-Brown etc. I had a primary school mate in Port-Harcourt in those days named Ebite Green. Whenever we wanted to make her angry, we would call her any other colour except her name like Ebite Blue, Ebite Yellow etc. This used to make her really mad and fights often broke out as a result.

    Top personalities, famous people and places are among favorite names people give their children in the region. The most popular are Gowon, Awolowo, Queen (Elizabeth), Chamberlain, Biafra and even the infamous Hitler. Other unusual names from the zone include Government (the most famous being the retired militant Tompolo), Conference, Manager, Limejuice, Taiga, Lawyer, Baby (if you come to my village, don’t be surprised to see an 80 year-old woman bearing Baby), Vote (named for babies born during elections like one of my sisters), Blacky (for babies who are as dark as the back of a pot), Annulment (perhaps when Babangida annulled the June 12 elections?), Odji (which in Urhobo translates to thief), Erhurhu (Dustbin), Obukoenyuvwevwi (Backyard) Okpikebe (Big backside) and so on.

    Seriously, the parents who gave their children some of these names must have been under the influence of ogogoro during the naming ceremony or what do you think?

     

  • Since I lost my pretty wife I’ve been scared of ladies

    Adeola, I’ve been following your Hearts column right from my days in Lagos until my recent relocation to Uyo.I have a problem which I need your urgent advice on.I lost my pretty wife almost 3years ago and since then I’ve been scared of ladies because I’m afraid if I could ever find a replacement.

    Dear Uyo man, it’s usually hard for people to start afresh after losing a very nice partner. The truth however is that you must move on in life and accept the fact that no two people are exactly the same. You may or may not meet a woman who is as good as the one you lost. You may even be lucky to find somebody who is so good you would be happy you have a second chance at love.

    Life does not always give us the best options; we have to learn to mould what we have into what can make us happy. Yes, dating again after the death of a spouse can be an awkward experience. It can bring out feelings of confusion and concern from friends, family, and those who were close to the deceased spouse.  You’ve lost a spouse and are looking to date again, here are 10 tips to make sure you’re able to successfully navigate the dating waters.

    1. When you decide to date again is up to you: There’s no specific time period that one should wait before dating again. Grieving and the process of moving on is something that’s unique to each person. Some people take years, others weeks, and then there are those who choose never to date again. Whatever you do, don’t let others tell you you’re moving too fast or waiting too long. Make sure it’s something you’re really ready to try before taking that step.

    2. Make sure you’re dating for the right reasons: If you feel like dating again, take some time to understand why you want to date again. It’s not wrong to date because you’re lonely or desire some company. Single people date for those reasons too. However, if you’re dating because you think it going to somehow fill the void or heal the pain that comes from losing a spouse, it’s not going to happen. However, dating does give you the opportunity to open your heart to another person and chance to experience the unique and exquisite joy that comes with falling in love again.

    3. Feeling guilty is natural – at first: As you date, feelings of guilt should subside over time – especially when you find that special someone you might want to spend the rest of your life with. If the guilt’s not subsiding, you might not be ready to date again. Give dating a break and try dating again when you might be more up to the task.

    4. It’s okay to talk about the deceased spouse – just don’t overdo it: Unless you’re good friends or have known your date previously, he or she is going to be naturally curious about your spouse and previous marriage. And it’s OK to talk about the spouse when you’re first dating someone. Answer questions he or she may have about your marriage but don’t spend all your time talking about the dead or how happy you were. After all your date is the one that’s here now. And who knows, he or she might make you incredibly happy for years to come. Constantly talking about the past, may make it seem like you’re not ready to move on and start a new relationship. Showing that you care enough to get to know them can help reassure your date that you’re ready to start a new life with someone else.

    5. Remember: your date is not a therapist: Would you like going out with someone who constantly talked about issues she was having in her life? Dating isn’t a therapy session – it’s an opportunity to spend time with someone else and enjoy their company. If you find yourself dating just to talk about the pain in your heart, how much you miss your spouse, or tough times you’re going though, seek professional help. Your date will have a more memorable night if it’s about him or her then about everything you’re going through.

    6. It’s okay to make mistakes when you’re finding your dating legs : If you find yourself forgetting simple dating etiquette, don’t worry about it. Most dates would understand if they knew it had been awhile since you dated. But don’t make the same mistake over and over. Learn from them and continue moving forward. You’ll be surprised how fast your dating legs return.

    7. Defend your date: You may discover when once the family and friends learn you’re dating again they may not treat this new woman or man in your life very well. The treatment may come in the form of a cold shoulder at family activities or constantly talking about the deceased wife in front of the date. If you have family and friends who are doing this, they need to be told privately, but in a loving manner, that this behavior is not acceptable. If you wouldn’t let family or friends treat your spouse that way, why would you tolerate that behavior toward someone else – especially when your date could become your future spouse? Don’t be afraid to defend your date. If you can’t do that, then you have no business dating again.

    8. Realize that not everyone will understand why you’re dating again : There will always be someone who will not understand why you’ve chosen to date again. They may give you a hard time for dating again or have some silly romantic notion that widows and widowers shouldn’t fall in love again. Their options do not matter. All that matters is that you’re ready to date again. You don’t need to justify your actions to them or anyone else.

    9. Take things slow: The death of a spouse means losing the intimate physical contact. After a while we miss the kisses, having someone’s head resting on our shoulder, or the warm body next to us in bed. This lack of physical and emotional intimacy is enough to drive a lot of people into the dating scene. Don’t feel bad if you find yourself missing these things. It’s completely normal.

    In the dating world wanting something that was part of our lives for years can become a ticking time bomb. It can force us into a serious relationship before we’re ready. The result: lots of broken hearts and emotional baggage.

    If you find that you’re on a date and it’s going well, don’t be afraid to take things slow. This isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s hard not to throw ourselves at our date if things are going good because we want to be close to someone again. We want that warm body next to ours and have the words “I love you” whispered in our ears. But it can save you and your date a lot of emotional heartache if you wait to make sure what you’re doing is because you love the other person and not because you miss the intimacy that came with your late husband or wife.

    10. Make your date feel like the center of the universe : It’s a basic dating rule but it’s often forgotten by widows and widowers. Because we already have someone special in our lives, sometimes we forget to make our date feel special too. Treat your date in such a way that he or she feels like she’s the center of your universe. He or she shouldn’t have to compete against a ghost – even if you only have one date with that person. As long you’re out together, he or she should be the center of your universe.

    Even though dating can be awkward and difficult at times, it can also be a lot of fun. There’s no reason being a widow or widower should hold you back from enjoying a night out. Part of the reason we’re here is to live and enjoy life. And dating is a great way to start living again.

  • Our hearts are broken

    Our hearts are broken

    The last four months of the year or the ‘ember months as we call them in Nigeria are perceived here as wicked and blood thirsty, especially December. Not only do we usually witness an upsurge in the number of road traffic accidents and the attendant fatalities recorded, some other evil things like kidnapping, armed robbery, burglary and carjacking also take place during this period thus driving fear into Nigerians at the approach of December.

    Such evil acts as kidnapping are now so lucrative that the evil men and women behind them no longer wait for December before striking. In the past it used to be that people mysteriously disappear around December/Christmas time and most ended up in the hands of ritualists working for their principals who wanted quick money which they could flaunt and squander during Christmas  and New Year festivities to show their community that “they’ve arrived” as we like to say here.

    If that was kidnapping for money making ritual, the in thing now is kidnapping for ransom and it is very lucrative and highly rewarding. In the South East region, the headquarters of kidnapping in Nigeria, the crime is now big business fetching the kidnappers an average of N750m (seven hundred and fifty million Naira) monthly.

    Relations of the rich and influential members of the society, including politicians, top government functionaries and even Nollywood stars are always their target and there is no age limit; young, old or aged, no problem, as long as their victim can bring in the ransom.

    The most vulnerable are children and the aged who are often defenceless and powerless. Each time these evil men strike our hearts break as was the case penultimate weekend when the 82-year old mother of Nigeria’s Finance Minister and Co-ordinating Minister for the Economy Mrs. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala was kidnapped at Ogwuashi-Uku, Delta State. Professor Kamene Okonjo, a professor of Medicine was kidnapped by gunmen at the palace of the traditional ruler of the town. She spent five days with the kidnappers before she was rescued by security agents. To secure her release or rescue, whichever way you want to put it, the kidnappers, according to unconfirmed reports were paid N9 million.

    As usual nobody confirms this kind of payment but we all know it happens. Even the police do at times advise families of victims to pay the ransom to secure the release of their loved ones. More often than not we only hear that the victims have been set free by their abductors and not rescued by the police.

    Just as the nation was still adjusting to the reality of the kidnapping Professor Okonjo another old woman was being abducted in Ibadan, Oyo State. The wife of a former Military Governor of old Western State Gen. Oluwole Rotimi, Titilayo, was kidnapped in front of her haulage company, AOP Logistics Limited, on the new Ibadan-Ife Expressway at about 6.30 pm last Monday. And just over the weekend a Nollywood actress and Special Assistant to the Governor of Imo State on Public Affairs, Nkiru Sylvanus was kidnapped on the street in Owerri, the state capital. Her abductors want N100m. Though they are not likely to get paid in full, something substantial will be paid as ransom; so the business continues.

    It is quite surprising and annoying that the police still have not found a solution to this problem in spite of the numerous shake ups and reshuffles that usually take place after each case of high profile kidnapping. Some are even insinuating that some elements in the force are working together with these kidnappers. Considering the unenviable record of the Nigeria Police, this cannot be ruled out. Remember the Iyamu story in the Benin robbery ring of Lawrence Aninih and Monday Osunbor during General Ibrahim Babangida presidency? Iyamu, a police officer was later discovered to be part of the notorious armed robbery gang when Aninih and co stated ‘singing’ when they were arrested. Promises of radical changes to the Police were made then but nothing changed. Recall that a one time Assistant Inspector General of Police in charge of the Southeast zone at the height of kidnapping in the area who failed woefully to curb the menace was instead of being fired promoted as the Inspector General of Police after the then IG who hails from the area was fired for incompetence.

    The tragedies we often associate with the ‘ember months are not peculiar to Nigeria. Last Friday in far away United States of America, a 20-year old man, Adam Lanza walked into Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, dressed in black battle fatigue and a military vest and began firing. By the time he was done, 26 were dead- 20 of them young students between ages six and seven. The nation with a notorious gun culture was not only shocked but also broken-hearted following the tragedy. We also share in the grieve of the families of the victims including that of a 27-year old female teacher in the school who hid her students inside the cupboards when Lanza, the agent of death came calling in her class, telling him the children were in the gym. He shot her dead. What a brave woman. I hope we have teachers like that in Nigeria who in the face of death would be ready to protect their students. I doubt.

    In the midst of all these, the curse of aviation descended on Nigeria again when a military helicopter conveying VIPs from Nembe in Bayelsa State to Port-Harcourt, Rivers State crashed into the creeks killing all on board. Among the dead were the Governor of Kaduna State Patrick Yakowa, former National Security Adviser Gen. Owoye Azazi, their aides and the two-man crew.

    Our hearts are broken and bleed as yet another accident from the sky has claimed lives in this country. Recall that some years back another military helicopter crashed in Makurdi killing some Generals. Have you forgotten the Nigeria Air Force Hercules C-130 crash in Lagos during the Babangida era that killed whole generation of middle ranking military officers from the Army, Navy and Air Force? Too many accidents involving our military aircraft are becoming worrisome. And this call for urgent action on the part of the military high command.

    President Goodluck Jonathan as the Commander-In-Chief must take more than a passive interest in what is going on in our military aviation. Just as attention is being focused on civil aviation by the Federal Government the military arm, especially the Air Force, Navy and even the Police deserve similar attention. We cannot afford to continue to lose lives like this.