Uhunoma Osagbkhorwe, 36, didn’t choose how she was born, but because of the disability in her limbs, she has suffered many rejections and woes. Hers is a sad tale, reports Yetunde Oladeinde
WONDERFUL story of love! That is a familiar song and it brings memories of hope, love and joy. Unfortunately, her story is the exact opposite of this. Since she was born about 36 years ago, Uhunoma Osagbkhorwe’s has been through a series of rejection, frustration and loneliness.
Her arms and legs are twisted, her frame is little yet she is determined to make it; working, struggling to make a living and take care of her children.
“I was born like this and my problem started even before I was born. My mother had an accident while I was in her womb. She spent three days on the road before a good Samaritan saw her and took her to the University of Benin Teaching Hospital. Immediately she got to the hospital, she was rushed to the labour ward where she put to bed. My mother told me that when she gave birth to me, my hands and legs were gummed together.”
Her mother told her that she looked like a tortoise at birth and people ran away as soon as they sighted her. “They quickly asked for her husband and sent for him. When my father got to the hospital, he said this cannot be my child, that they do not have disabled children in their family.”
Now, you want to know if her father later accepted her and she replied this way: “If he accepted me, I won’t be in Lagos. Till date, he has refused to accept me. He actually told the hospital people to inject and get rid of me. They told him this could only be done if his wife agreed but my mother refused. She was determined to do her best for me.”
He left in anger and abandoned mother and child in the hospital. “A white doctor who saw my mother crying tried his best and they did surgery for me. If you look at my legs, you would see where they operated it. If you give me something now, I can’t just collect it except I bend it like this. But I can use it to work. I use it to produce all the things that I do now.”
To survive, Uhunoma’s mother went into farm work and frying garri in the village. “She has nine children and that was what she used to take care of us. She had all the children for my father and she is still alive. All my life, my father has rejected me because of my disability.”
Life in the village was a dilemma and there were times she thought of committing suicide. “I suffered a lot in the village and I had become a source of ridicule to many. Things got worse when I got pregnant with my first son. The father of the child promised to take care of me and wipe away my tears. He promised to take me to Enugu if I agreed to his proposals. His name is Sunday Amama. He was also into farm work and I was happy at this point. Sadly, he ran away when he realised that I was pregnant and I was back to square one. The boy is now 12 years old and he is in JSS 1.”
Moving out of the village and going to Lagos, she thought, would bring her good luck and so she decided to make this a reality. “On that fateful day, I wanted to go and sell pure water but something kept telling me to move on. My mother was not around; she went to take care of my older brother’s wife who had just put to bed.”
Uhunoma left with her son and they boarded a bus to Lagos. “The driver dropped us at Ojota, where I saw ‘Welcome to Lagos’.” It was at this point that it dawned on her that she had nobody and nowhere to go to. “I walked up and down and a man who noticed me called asking me what the matter was. I told him my story in tears but, initially, he thought that I stole a child and almost raised an alarm. He advised me to go to Yaba and at Yaba another person asked me to go to Oshodi.”
She finally got to Oshodi around 10pm and continued to hang around in search of a place to pass the night. “I sat beside a shop hoping to sleep when the man closed but he sent me away. I walked until I reached Charity and it was past midnight; everywhere was silent. So, I spread my wrapper inside the flower bed where I kept my son. I looked around to be sure that nobody was watching me before joining the boy.”
She continued: “Someone appeared and shouted ‘ole, ole and gbomogbomo’. He accosted me, accused me of stealing the child and I told him my story once more. He pitied me and warned me that the place was very dangerous, that it’s den of ritualists.”
He took them to a hotel and paid for the night. “He told us that the next morning
he would take us to Synagogue but I didn’t know about Synagogue Church. At the hotel, they gave us food and we slept. By 4.30 that morning, he came to pick us to Synagogue and he dropped us at the gate.”
Unfortunately, she lost her phone and lost the man’s contact. “At the Synagogue gate, the security men sent me away. I sat on the road and was crying. There a woman saw me and I told her my problems. She asked me to come along to the place where she was lodged and she promised to help me see T.B Joshua that Thursday.”
She tried but unfortunately the man of God was not available again. “It was the wise men that prayed for people that day. On Sunday, I tried again but I was sent away. They said that only people wearing shoes can come in but I had slippers. I spent a month at the place the woman kept us but when the money expired we had to leave. Someone then told me about a place where you pay N100 a day to sleep and have your bath.”
Uhunoma spent six months there and after a while she started hawking pure water to survive. “The hundred naira rent per day was jacked up by the landlord to N500 per day.”
Life was tough and she couldn’t pay the new rate and she went back to the streets once more. “I slept in the gutter, sidewalks and every available space with my son.”
Luckily, help came through a church called Healing Balm. They gave her free accommodation and that brought temporary relief her way. “The place was always flooded during the rains. If you go out and it rains, it would be impossible to come back home. I began to cry to God once more for help.”
Determined, she continued to hawk pure water but some people were uncomfortable seeing her running around trying to catch the pace of her customers and competing with others. “When some people see me they would dash me money out of pity. I saved and saved with the contribution and by the time I had N15,000, I told the Baba alajo (thrift collector) that I wanted to use it to rent a place of own. He laughed and laughed saying, this won’t be enough to get accommodation in the neighbourhood.”
She also combed the neighbourhood in search of room, somewhere she could finally call her home but the more elusive it became. “Then I found a shop made of sink and approached the landlady. I told her that I wanted to sell there because if I told her I would be sleeping there, she won’t allow me. It was N2,000 per month and I paid for six months. The agreement also needed to be paid and a friend gave me N2000 to support me.”
The shop was on the road and conspicuous for motorists and passersby. In a short while, she was noticed, thanks to her warm and friendly nature. “I greeted everyone, made friends and this made me a happier person. Yet, there was still a big vacuum in my life which I just didn’t know how to fill. One day, I saw an advert on how to make liquid soap and disinfectant on television.”
She paid rapt attention, wrote down everything and learnt on television. I used part of the money saved in the contribution to buy the items needed and I was excited. Whenever people see me mixing the soap with one hand, they get curious and begin to watch me doing my thing. They also began to patronise me and some will take items worth N200, give me money and ask me to keep the change.”
She continued: “They were impressed that I was hardworking in spite of my challenges. The profit I made from the soap business, I went on to produce Izal and airfreshners. And from airfreshners, I went on to produce bleach and each time I go to where I buy the chemicals, I would ask them to teach me and that was how I kept improving on my own.”
Loneliness is another word that haunted her on a daily basis. Cupids arrow suddenly flew in her direction and she fell in love with a carpenter. “I met him at the zinc shop-turned home and he promised to marry me. Looking back, it was a very interesting experience, one of the best periods of my life and he took very good care of me and my son. He always brought us food and took care of us.”
That phase of her life reminds you about those sweet romantic tales and you look forward to hearing the happy ending-and-forever part of the story. But her case turns out to be different: “I got pregnant with my second son and I told him that I wanted to meet his family members. He was also excited and promised to take me to see them.”
On the appointed day, the two lovebirds went to see the man’s family, but as soon as he introduced her as his wife-to-be, all hell was let loose. “They threatened to disown him if he ever went ahead to marry me.”
Rejected! They returned to their nest and he kept assuring her that he would never let her down. “He told me not to mind them and he later moved his things to my place. When I gave birth to a boy, the church sent a delegation to plead with my mother-in-law to take care of me and she came around.”
Just when she thought that love had conquered all, another sad twist crept in. “By the time the baby was six weeks, my husband said that he wanted to take the baby away from me. I disagreed and we took the matter to the Oba, human right people and after a while my husband apologised to me. I forgave him and things went back to normal again. I got pregnant with our second baby and by the time the pregnancy was two months, my husband ran away and till date I have not set my eyes on him,” she bemoaned.
While she was grappling with daily survival, her 12-year-old son ran away from home and her world almost fell apart. “I asked him to go and fetch water; he did this thrice and when he was coming the third time, I saw him holding N1,000. He told me someone sent him to buy recharge card and I asked him to quickly do this and continue fetching water.”
That was the last she saw of the boy. “When I went to check him after a while, I just found his bucket and pair of slippers. We looked for him everywhere for three days. My landlady was very angry. She said I came to search her house and that everything had put her in bad light.”
The boy finally surfaced on the third day. “A policewoman brought him back saying he told them that I drove him away and they had raised a case of child abuse against me. She actually pressurised him and brought him back. When the woman saw my state she was angry and slapped him. She later pleaded with her people to ignore the story he cooked up.”
At this point, it was obvious that she needed to have a better house and some kind-hearted people around her borrowed her money to rent a room. “It was a very tough search, no landlord was willing to give me a house because of my state. Then finally I got the present house that I am living in and I had to pay two years rent.”
What she now needs is help and support from kind-hearted Nigerians to give her and the three children a better life.