Actress Shaffy Bello has called on young women to focus on personal growth and self-sufficiency, rather than depending on a partner’s wealth or financial status.
Speaking during a conversation with Ifedayo Agoro, Bello emphasised the need to shift traditional expectations in modern relationships.
She noted the pressure young men face in trying to meet material demands while also managing their financial responsibilities.
She encouraged women to be more understanding of their partners’ financial situations and advocated for relationships rooted in mutual support, partnership, and shared goals.
She said, “I think if there’s anything that I can leave with the younger ones or my age, actually, because I see some of our ages too, we’re badly behaved. Some women, even at my age, don’t say the right things. We need to be mindful of what we say. Somebody’s listening. And so because my daughter is listening, we’ll be listening. And because my other children are listening. I think one of the mistakes that the younger ones make and we’ve sold it is he must be rich oh, don’t get me wrong. You’re gonna take care of what you need to take care of. That’s not what I’m saying. But I need people to think of it this way.
“Immediately you start to think your affluence in life, what you can make, I want to meet that rich man. And then you give up something in the universe that says until you meet that person, I want to be that man that people are talking about. You know that man that is in every girl’s dream to meet and make, no, I will be that person. You for yourself. For myself, yeah. So when I make it and then he’s around. I sit on your cake. Yeah, well, what are we doing today? You’re gonna take me on a trip. But no, no, no, this is how I want it.
“Yeah, because I can do it. Yeah, absolutely. So that idea of a man must take care of me financially, a man must be rich before I meet him. You think he’s holding girls and women back from finding love? Absolutely. And look, I understand all this, our men too, young men. Come on, you can do better. You can do better. And I say this, stay in your age bracket, stay in your bracket. And here’s what I mean by that.
“So I sat down with two young ladies and I said, okay, so when you guys date a young man, what are you looking for? Hey, he must take me out. And when I’m going on the dates, I should, at least I’m gonna get my hair done. I’d spent all that money and then to what? And that’s okay, that’s okay. So I flipped it and I said, okay, let’s assume a young man, 31, 29, 31 average. And I said, if he’s making 450,000 a month, average, some are making a million, some are making, but average, the one that’s not married, still hustling, 450, you’re making maybe 250, 350, right? But this young man, you expect him to take you on a date twice in a week. He meets you, he meets you and he says, how you doing, what’s up? And he gets your number, would you like to go to dinner? And he wants to impress you. So what that means is he’s going to take you to dinner and the average dinner and that kind of impression now is about 75,000 to 100,000. Okay, is that high? Come on now, is that high? Oh, yeah. If we’re just being really moderate, right? Moderate, okay. So he does that on a Thursday.
“What that means is the next week, by the weekend you’re chatting, you expect him to take you out again. Maybe you went out on a Wednesday. By Saturday, you’re home, you’re not doing anything. You expect that this guy you just met should take you out again, let’s go out again. So he does it again, 75,000, that’s 150. That guy has spent 150 out of 450. And there are other responsibilities as well.
“And there are many more. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. Oh, do you know 150? No, 450. He has spent 150 out of 450. Where is the survivor? He has to drive to work if he has a car. If he doesn’t, he has to go to work and he has to put on some things and cut his hair and look good for you, baby. So that money, yeah, so it’s questionable. So he takes you to dinner the first time. So the second time, he’s thinking maybe, can we just do a lot of joints or you come over and you’re, well, see, come here, let’s start us, all that. Because you wanna impress your friends. But you’re not looking at this guy and thinking, what’s there? Why don’t we sit somewhere, you make sandwiches, make it reasonable for him and then say, you’re not taking me out today, let’s talk. And then you talk and you ask questions by the second date. If he’s not in your direction, you go like this, he go like this. But if it is in your direction, then you think, all right, okay, so how are we gonna make this work?
“How do we partner? How are we gonna make this work? Because you spent 75,000 last week. About how much do you make? Guy’s not gonna wanna tell you because he’s still doing, but sooner or later, by the third date, you have an idea of what he makes. That’s when you should both be talking about, this is what I make. This is what I make. How are we gonna make this work? And that’s what’s called potential. So you see that potential, he’s working, he’s hustling. And what he says and his actions, that’s how you pick”.
