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Tag: World

  • 13 Nigerian banks among top 1000 world lenders

    13 Nigerian banks among top 1000 world lenders

    Thirteen Nigerian banks have been lifted among the world’s 1,000 lenders.

    Influential magazine  The Bankers  stated this in its 2014 edition on the review of banks and their performance.

    According to the report, the banks are in attaining the feat in their second year.

    The Country Representative of the magazine, Kunle Ogedengbe, listed the 13 banks that made the ranking, which he said is based on Tier-1 capital, as Zenith Bank, Guaranty Trust Bank, First Bank, Access Bank, United Bank for Africa, Fidelity Bank and Ecobank Nigeria.

    The others are: Skye Bank, First City Monument Bank, Diamond Bank, Stanbic IBTC Holdings, Standard Chartered Bank and Union Bank.

    Zenith Bank is ranked top in Nigeria at 293. GTB is next on number 415.  First Bank  and Access Bank stand at  number 424 and  532.  United Bank for Africa is ranked 539. Fidelity occupies the 622 spot.

    The Banker said profit on capital of three Nigerian banks that are not foreign-owned subsidiaries increased. These are First Bank that has its profit on capital increased to 25.32 per cent from 25.13 per cent, Access Bank, from 21.19 per cent to 21.24 per cent  and First City Monument Bank, 15.77 per cent from 15.07 per cent.

    The magazine said the share number of local banks that made the ranking, “underlines Nigeria’s number one position in Africa, as no other African country has up to 13 in the Top 1000 World Banks.”

    It said the 13 Nigerian banks along with their global counterparts, “for the first time since the global financial crisis, returned profit of $920 billion which is 23 per cent  more than their previous peak of $786 billion achieved in 2007 before the financial crisis,” that reverberated across the financial centres of the world, that crippled the economies of many European countries and was a major campaign issue in the US Presidential election that saw Barack Obama elected as the first Black US President.

    The Editor of the magazine, Brain Caplen, explained that the 23 per cent increase in profit of global banks from 2007, “is good news,”  but pointed out that “the better news is that capital has also increased at a reasonable pace, whereas assets have stayed flat. This means that returns on capital are only slightly improved but the hope is that this upturn is more sustainable than the last one,” he added.

    Mr. Caplen disclosed that a large proportion of the profit is from China – about 32 per cent of the total which is more than the next three highest profit countries of USA, Japan and Canada combined.

    Of the 25 top banks in Africa from the ranking, the highest of eight is from Nigeria, the largest economy in the continent while the United Bank for Africa is the only Nigerian bank in the top 10 highest movers in Africa.

    In all, Africa has 31 banks in the Top 1000 World Banks 2014 with Nigeria having 13 representing 41.94 per cent. The 31 African banks in the ranking are from nine countries: Nigeria, South Africa, Egypt, Angola, Gabon, Kenya, Mauritius, Morocco and Togo.

    Globally, Senior Editor of the magazine, Philip Alexander stressed that banks in this 2014 ranking “are stronger than ever” as “the level of capital held by banks in this ranking continues to accelerate, with the minimum Tier 1 capital required to enter the Top 1000 World Banks now fast approaching $400m. This has almost doubled since the 2005 ranking”, he added.

    The Banker, a publication of Financial Times Newspaper which is regarded as the most influential newspaper in the world, is a global financial intelligence magazine published since 1926. It is the definitive publication that provides guide to bank ratings and analysis globally and the definitive reference on international banking for finance experts, governments, chief finance officers, CEOs, Central Bank Governors, Finance Ministers, and other decision makers globally.

    According to The Global Capital Markets Surveys (GCMS), the only independent media benchmarking study available in the capital markets industry and provides insight into who reads what at the world’s financial institutions, amongst monthly finance titles globally The Banker is number one monthly finance title read globally, in capital markets; Europe, Middle East and Africa (EMEA) region; emerging markets and bank as well as financial institutions in the world.

  • You, your green passport and the world

    You, your green passport and the world

    You were not nervous about your green Nigerian passport at the Toulouse airport as you prepared to leave for Berlin. You had your passport in your bag but you knew that you would not be asked to produce it either on the French or the German side of the border by immigration control officers. You knew because two days earlier as you traveled from Germany to France no one had asked you to produce your passport. In fact, you had your passport out in your hand as you approached the security check point but the officers waived it aside as something they didn’t need to see. And when you got to Toulouse and told your hosts about the experience, they laughed in a good-natured way at your ignorance of the fact that when you travel between European Union countries under the so-called Schengen Pact, you travel without your passport, as if it is a local journey. You smile in return as you remembered the fact that though you need no visa to travel between the ECOWAS countries, you still have to produce your passport and have it stamped when you travel from, say, Nigeria to Ghana or Sierra Leone to Senegal. But why are you writing about this experience, indeed this whole essay in the second person voice and not the first, as is customary with columnists and as you have done so far in this column?

    You are writing in the second person voice because something totally unprecedented in your personal and professional career happened at Toulouse. You had gone to Toulouse to serve as an external examiner in the defense of a doctoral dissertation at the University of Toulouse. You, in conjunction with the other examiners, had found the dissertation brilliant. You had all praised the writer of the dissertation, recommending that he be awarded the doctorate with the highest distinctions. But then had come the shocker, to you anyway, because all the other examiners being part of the French system were completely unsurprised: the chairperson announced that in our reports, each of us had to write in the third person. Unbelieving, you had asked, “you mean I should write something of the order of Professor Biodun Jeyifo found the five chapters of the dissertation equally well conceptualised and written”? Yes, the Chairperson had replied, you must write your opinions and observations completely in the third person!

    The look on your face must have eloquently expressed your disbelief, your amazement for all the other examiners chimed in by admitting that, yes, the practice seems utterly outlandish but that’s how they write their reports after a doctoral dissertation defense – third person voice all the way. You listened bemused and unconvinced as one of the examiners gave the lame explanation that the rationale behind the practice is to make for complete objectivity in the writing of the report since the third person voice is the voice of self-objectification par excellence: writing about yourself and your opinions in the third person, you are forced both to become self-aware and self-distancing. You could have replied that the first, second and third person voices are all devices, all artificial rhetorical techniques and none of them is inherently closer to the truth than the others. But you kept quiet: when in Rome, do as the Romans do…

    That night, you wrote your report, all in the third person voice as requested. It was with great difficulty that you resisted the urge to be sarcastic, to stay within the third person rubric but break it up into contending parts as in “Professor Jeyifo thought that the methodology matched the subject matter of the dissertation, but then another part of Jeyifo thought that the candidate could have been a little more methodologically inventive while yet another part of Jeyifo thought that the whole point was irrelevant anyway”. But you resisted that urge. You resisted because as you wrote, you actually began to find the experience somewhat enthralling in that it began to feel like an other-body experience within your own body. In other words, it began to feel more than a mere change of rhetorical and stylistic register but something existential, embodied and therefore full of possibilities that the regular first person voice does not allow. And that was how that compulsory third person exercise in writing a self-objectified report led to this act of writing about the travails and misadventures of traveling in this world with the Nigerian green passport in the second person register. In plain language, it takes away the sting, the humiliations of the experience of traveling with a Nigerian passport when you write about it in the second and not first person voice.

    For the truth is that every time that an immigration official, having seen your green Nigerian passport and asks you to stand apart from all the other passengers with blue, black, burgundy, orange and other colors, you instinctively feel that the experience is not happening to you but to someone else. Perhaps the very worst of this kind of response that the green passport provoked when you presented the passport was in Istanbul, Turkey, 2010. You were not only stand apart, you were quickly surrounded by several immigration officials all armed and all unsmiling. You were then matched to an office far away from the queues of all the other passengers and made to sit in a waiting room for nearly an hour, no explanations given. At the end of that one hour, just as mysteriously, your passport was returned to you and you were asked to go. You tried to ask what had been the matter but one of the armed officials just barked at you, go! You went and as you joined your colleagues from other countries who had travelled with you for an international conference, everyone saw the look on your face and wisely knew not to ask you any questions for at least that moment, that day.

    In your line of work, you travel a lot. Also, do admit it: from childhood, you’ve been bitten by the travel bug and you do have a love affair with travelling. Once in the early 1970s in Brooklyn, New York, when you were a graduate student at New York University, you’d seen a huge billboard with the legend, “See the World Before You Leave It!” and you had instantly adopted it as one of your few non-political mottoes. Philosophically, you believe that this earth, this planet is the only home we have as a species and you must see as much of it as you can. And you believe that if a part of us earthlings ever migrates to another planet to colonize and live on it that part of the species would be nothing like what we are now. But progressively worse and worse since that time in the early 70s, our green passport has become a liability with which to “see the world before you leave it”. Perhaps it is useful to make what you are asserting here plainer: it is far more vexatious and taxing to the spirit now to apply for visas and to present your green passport at the immigration control borders of many countries in the world than it used to be two to three decades ago.

    You should also admit that it helps somewhat that you teach at a big-name institution but even that is often nullified by the negative talismanic power of the green passport. Recently – as recently as your application for a Schengen visa to Germany – you presented a letter from the Dean of your Faculty to you dated from late last year as proof that you are really an employee, a professor at the Institution in which you teach. Your letter was rejected and you were asked to produce a letter as recent as a week before your application. When you asked if you could have resigned in the middle of the same academic year, the stony response was – we just need a document with a more recent date, period! When you then went and asked the Chair of one of your two departments to write a letter of authentication for you, he said that no one, absolutely no one, had ever asked him for such a letter. He’d wanted to know why you were asked to produce such a letter of authentication, you’d said quietly to him, “you don’t what to know”. What you had in mind was of course you don’t want to know about the green passport and the headaches it generates when you want to and do travel.

    Dublin, 17 May 2009. You have that date down in your expired passport as the date on which a big and bold inscription, “Visa Warning” was stamped on your passport. Until the expiration of that passport, everywhere you went in the world, you were asked what “visa violation” had you committed in Dublin, Ireland. Because of missed connections due to the airline’s own fault, you were put aboard a flight going to New York via Dublin instead of the original direct flight to New York. You disembarked with other passengers in Dublin for a stopover of about an hour. As soon as this immigration control officer saw your green passport, she asked you to stand aside and for the next forty-five minutes completely ignored you regardless of your protestations that your flight would soon be leaving. Well, you finally snapped and loudly demanded to see a superior officer because you were not a would-be economic refugee to Ireland, you were a passenger in transit whose plane would be leaving in a quarter of an hour. In response the officer looked at you as if you both belonged to two different species, took hold of your passport, stamped “visa violation” on a page in the passport and then let you go and board your plane for your flight.

    You ask yourself: what are the headaches and inconveniences of traveling in the world with your green passport compared to the terrible hardships that most of our peoples face at home? Your response is clear and unambiguous: Nigerian fraudsters, scammers and con-artists have made nonsense of the value and worth of the green passport all over the world, just as looters, election riggers and state and non-state bandits have taken sovereign control over society, politics and economy at home. Whether you are at home or abroad, you carry Nigeria with you, their Nigeria, not the one we deserve and will achieve one day.

     

    Biodun Jeyifo

    bjeyifo@fas.harvard.edu

  • Bay Lounge stages special World Cup screening

    IN what it calls a blend of world cup action, fashion, music and grilled meals, management of The Bay Lounge, Admiralty Way, Lekki, Lagos, says it will be offering residents of Lagos metropolis an exceptional weekend viewing of the last World Cup matches.

    Tagged ‘Grill and Chill’ World Cup Weekend Special, the 3-day event, will hold from July 11-13, as the 2014 World Cup reaches fever pitch.

    The event, which is being supported by Sovereign Trust Insurance, Smooth FM, Classic FM, Metro FM and Inspiro productions, will have one mega screen, situated at the lounge, for a life-size football viewing.

  • The world of student-traders

    Some students work to pay their way through school. It is either their parents are poor or they are schooling at old age. There are such students at the Obafemi Awolowo University in Ile-Ife, Osun State. KEMI BUSARI (Political Science) reports.

    For Toyosi Kolade, shoe-making is not the exclusive preserve of men. She acquired the skill to make a living and pay her way through school. A visit to her room in Ladoke Akintola Hall of the Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU) in Ile-Ife, Osun State, showed how passionate she is about the vocation.

    Shoes of various sizes are scattered all over the place.

    Toyosi, 22, has just finished from the Political Science Department, but in her last two years, she paid her fees from the money she made as a cobbler. Toyosi ventured into shoe-making to assist her parents.

    She said: “I started shoe-making when I resumed for my third year on campus. A skill acquisition programme came up in my church for youths to learn any trade that would make them independent. I opted for something unique from what others are doing. I chose to make and repair shoes; this fed me throughout my stay on campus.”

    When she started, she was mocked by people who felt she was in a wrong vocation. Toyosi said: “People made me to feel ashamed of myself by mocking me whenever they heard that a female student is doing such work. But I never let that discourage me. In the end, some of the people who taunted me ended up being my customers.”

    Toyosi never allowed the trade to affect her academic pursuit. The Ekiti State-born cobbler said she devoted ample time to her studies and entrepreneurial skill.

    “The reason I ventured into shoe making and repairing is for me to support my parents’ expenses on me. I have always liked to be independent but there was no means. But when I learned the trade, I was able to pay up to 40 per cent of my fees in school.”

    She is not alone in this kind of business. Her colleague, Adeniyi Taiwo, who graduated from the Department of Geography, sells moin-moin (bean cake) at Awolowo Hall. He prepares the garnished moin-moin in thick leaves for sells and each between N25 and N30.

    Adeniyi, who hawks the moin-moin himself, said: “I was motivated to start this because of the meagre resources I got from home. I needed to have my own source of income to be able to pay some little expenses in school. It is not everything that you ask from your parents.”

    To him, the trade is not for women alone. Adeniyi said: “The only business you can tag as women’s trade is the one only a female can handle. In the case of selling moin-moin, everybody can do it, in so far the aim is to make money.”

    Adeniyi moves from one room to the other, hawking.

    In Imo State, Ellen Sunday made her mark, combining business, academics and spiritual life. Ellen, who started from a few wraps of groundnut and sugar in 2012, now manages a full scale business, selling pepper, tomato and kerosene in large quantities.

    “I really want to be independent,” she said, when asked why she dabbled into the business. She added: “I was tired of asking for money from my parents all the time. I started when I was in 300-Level, but when I resumed for final year, I increased my stock and sold to students in large quantities.”

    Of all the wares, Ellen said it is tomato that is most profitable. “I started the trade with about N2,000 but I can’t really determine how much it has grown into. My trade has multiplied even beyond my expectations,” she added.

    Ellen said she is proud to be a student-trader, saying she paid 95 per cent of expenses on campus from the business. “Although my parents used to send money to me but, most times, I won’t touch it. The business paid up to 95 per cent of my expenses on campus,” she said.

    “If I choose to sleep conveniently on my bed, hunger will wake me up. This was why I found it better to discomfort myself so that hunger would not eventually discomfort me,” Bamidele Adeleke, a graduate of Sociology and Anthropology, who eked out a living selling bread, said.

    Instead of sleeping on his bed, Bamidele stockpiles bread on his mattress and squats with his friends.

    He started the business early this year because of what he called “economic meltdown in the family”, which reduced his pocket money from home.

    He said: “I started the business with N1,600 and six packs of bread. Today, I sell about 10 packs a day, which is more than N4,000. The business paid up to 85 per cent of my expenses on campus.”

    Now that they have graduated, does that the death of their business?

    Bamidele, who is currently taking the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria (ICAN) courses, said nothing would separate him from bread business, even as a graduate.

    After her National Youth Service, Toyosi said she would start a shoe-making business on a large scale, urging her colleagues to acquire vocational skills in addition to their academic degrees.

    Adeniyi would like to be his own boss by going into entrepreneurship. Ellen said she would continue the business after school but on a large scale. “I have a dream to have a supermarket of my own,” she said.

  • Oyedepo is an asset to the world, says don

    Oyedepo is an asset to the world, says don

    With the successful completion of the ninth convocation of Covenant University(CU), Ota, Ogun State,  last Friday, the Vice-Chancellor(VC), Littoral University (Institute Littoral Des Etudes Professionnelles Superieures (ILEPS), Porto-Novo, Republic of Benin, Prof. Reuben Oyebode Ayeni,  has described the Chancellor and Chairman, Board of Regents (CU) Bishop David Oyedepo as an asset to mankind.

    “Bishop Oyedepo is a gift to the world and everyone needs to tap into it. I visit the university often to see what God is doing and everyday miracle in the university gives me joy and inspiration. It simply shows God is really working in Covenant University. I also try to learn, so that I can replicate what I see there in Littoral University. On behalf of my family and ILEPS, I want to congratulate Bishop Oyedepo for the success. This is also why I am here today with some of our students to celebrate this great achiever,” he said.

    Ayeni urged other institutions to take a cue from CU’s giant strides. “No wonder products from this great university are never stranded in the labour market or found looking for placements. This is a pointer that these new graduands, like their mates in the past, will surely make it in life. ILEPS will get there too,” he said.

    Speaking to The Nation shortly after delivering ILEPS’ goodwill message to CU, Ayeni, who came in company of some the university’s students and top management, expressed his happiness on the planned signing of an MoU between the two universities scheduled for July 9 at the CU premises.

    “It’s (MoU) a rare privilege given to us. Papa (Oyedepo) has been like a father to us, and has always encouraged us. We are happy about the collaboration. When a young university like ours has the privilege of standing on the shoulder of a world- class university like Covenant University,  it gives us a wider window to see further into academic horizons, while opening us up to wider opportunities beyond Africa.

    “Above all, it will open a new chapter in the history of both universities particularly, ILEPS in her quest to attaining excellence. That makes our journey to the top a lot easier,” he said.

    He said the university has been going through some trying times, contending with some elements, who want to throw spanners in the university’s good works.

    “Yes! There are challenges, but they are meant to make one become champions. We have lots of sycophants who are not sensitive to real issues.  Some parents are not patient enough and are getting swayed by hearsay. There are some bad eggs who want to reap where they did not sow.

    “Littoral University is not a warehouse where you just come and dump your child.  We are building future leaders here. The Republic of Benin education system has its modus operandi, which we must follow. We are appealing to parents and students to exercise patience because we are on course,” Prof. Ayeni said.

    ILEPS, he said, is speeding up plans at the permanent site located in Banigbe Idi-Iroko, so that the university can move there soonest.

  • E-commerce firms bring World Cup closer to viewers

    Nigeria’s safest online market place for used or new products, such as smart phones, computers, shoes, clothing; home appliances for the cheapest price Kaymu.com.ng came together with other e-commerce retail outfits to provide a viewing spot for football lovers to view the FIFA World Cup going on in Brazil.

    Beginning with the Nigeria vs Bosnia Herzegovina match last Saturday, the centre has been on since then, offering Nigerians the opportunity to view live matches.

    Kaymu said this follows the pattern adopted every celebration providing an opportunity for e-commerce firms to explore their creativity and come up with unique marketing communications targeted at their consumers.

    Kaymu.com.ng came up with a unique online and offline marketing strategies such as the “watch a match with a Celebrity event” in partnership with Nigezie TV for the viewing of the Nigeria versus Bosnia Herzegovina match held last Saturday.

    The initiative provided Kaymu and Nigezie TV fans fully kitted in the Nigerian Jerseys, an exclusive viewing of the match with their favorite celebrities amongst which were popular Nigerian afro-pop musicians Reminisce and Olamide.

    Kaymu and Nigezie brought the world cup to Lagos in an electrifying environment with football lovers showing their support and admiration for the Super Eagles. The fans were rewarded by a 1-0 victory in favour of the Super Eagles as well as the opportunity to socialise with their favorite celebrities.

  • Jonathan, Chibok girls and the world

    The abduction of over 200 secondary schoolgirls in Chibok, Borno State is exactly four weeks today and the indescribable hardship, sufferings and psychological trauma the parents and relatives are undergoing cannot quite be imagined by those not affected.

    The situation has led to many Nigerians taking to the streets in many states to protest the abduction.

    Worried by the situation, the chief of the Chibok community in Abuja, Hosea Sambido, said the uncertainty had made mothers in his home town lose appetite and had forced fathers into the bush in desperate search for their daughters.

    Some Nigerians have pushed for negotiation with the insurgents towards securing the girls’ release, while some security experts have warned the government to be very tactful in handling the issue in order not to anger the terrorists to harm the school girls.

    It is believed that the insurgents may not only use the girls as shield but demand the girls’ exchange for some members of the insurgents being held by the government.

    Even as the security agencies believe they were doing their best in the circumstances, many Nigerians believe more can still be done to urgently rescue the girls alive.

    To investigate the issues, the First Lady, Dame Patience Jonathan, governors’ wives and other stakeholders had summoned some key actors in the Chibok abduction saga to the Presidential Villa. The meeting, at the end, doubted whether any schoolgirl was abducted and declared that the issue was being politicised.

    This did not go down well with the Northeast Forum for Unity and Development, led by its Chairman Board of Trustees and former Finance

    Minister, Adamu Ciroma. He had to pay a visit to President Goodluck Jonathan on Tuesday last week to accuse the President’s wife and some highly-placed government officials of treating the issue with disdain insensitivity.

    He said during the closed-door meeting: “The abduction of the over 230 Chibok school girls and the way this dastardly appalling act is being handled with callousness and disdain by some highly-placed officials of the Federal Government, the ruling party and even the wife of the President, is a matter of surprise and worry to the generality of Nigerians.

    “One begins to wonder how this real tragedy has been perceived with high degree of official doubt and ambivalence that it is taking the Federal Government over three weeks to set up a committee to authenticate this.”

    He stressed that the insurgency is not about religion, ethnicity or politics, but an extension of international terrorism on Nigeria.

    To tackle the insurgency among other security challenges in the country, the group made nine recommendations to the government. These, they said would include “Government re-examining its capacity to tackle this tricky and deteriorating security situation by recognising it correctly for what it is, discarding the idea of renewing the state of emergency in Adamawa, Borno and Yobe states and to put in place more efficient and stringent security measures, effective intelligence gathering and analysis, and the introduction of high-technologies in nipping the crisis in the bud.

    “Meanwhile, the reports of the following should now be seriously studied and implemented as soon as possible: The Gaji Galtamari Committee; the Sheik Ahmed Lemu Committee; and the Alhaji Kabir Turaki Dialogue and Reconciliation Committee, ensuring robust community relations and participation in the security, rescue and rehabilitation operations in the area.

    “Government should ensure that the abducted Chibok school girls are quickly and safely rescued, rehabilitated and re-united with their families within a pre-determined timeframe.

    In order to raise the confidence and morale of the citizens, the President should lead a high-powered delegation of his Cabinet and security operatives and visit Chibok/Izge, Buni Yadi, Bama and Gamboru Ngala as soon as possible in the manner that he visited Nyanya.

    He should make strong positive statements there with regard to the rescue operations and government’s plans for rehabilitation/compensation and re-integration.

    “Government should genuinely investigate all cases of human rights abuses, extra-judicial killings, tortures, slippages/escapes from detention, and so on and bring the culprits to justice.

    The Federal Government should consider and assist the state governments strongly in the immediate rehabilitation and securing of the affected schools,

    colleges and critical infrastructure in the area, so that our children will safely and confidently go back to school.

    “The state governments in the sub-region, particularly the three states under emergency to be offered some respectable and reasonable monetary compensation to offset their expenditure on security operations which is primarily a Federal Preserve.

    “While acknowledging the constitution and the reconvening of government’s

    Dialogue Committee, we urge the government and the committee to seek and utilise various civic and civil ways to achieve comprehensive solution to the insurgency.”

    Apart from the security agencies’ efforts in the past three weeks to rescue the girls, the government, on Tuesday last week, also inaugurated a Presidential Committee to unravel the circumstances surrounding the abduction of the girls.

    Many Nigerians, on Tuesday last week, welcomed the news that President Jonathan had accepted the offer of the US President, Barrack Obama, to assist the Nigerian troops with security personnel and assets in their efforts to rescue the Chibok girls.

    Other countries and international organisations including China, Britain, France, United Nations; Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) have also pledged their support towards rescuing the abducted girls.

    With the rising global supports, the affected families, and indeed, all well-meaning Nigerians, are anxiously waiting for the news that the abducted Chibok girls have been rescued and re-united with their families.

  • The amazing silent world of the deaf

    The amazing silent world of the deaf

    Seun Akioye, who joined the Deaf Supporters Group (DSG) in its end-of-year party, writes on the peculiar challenges faced by people with hearing impairment, their lives revolving around the sign language.

    Inside the drab, dilapidating buildings of 3/7 Kakawa Street, Lagos Island which housed the Deaf Supporters Group (DSG), an association made up of hearing impaired persons – the excitement had reached the highest pitch. As the uniformed crowd of DSG members continued to pour into the venue, there were hugs, from friends and acquaintances, backslaps and a general shout of excitement.

    The President of the DSG, Afolabi Dahunsi was at the centre of the excitement, dressed in a matching uniform of purple ankara, a flowing agbada and a fitting cap to match, he laughed, pumped hands with the members and obliged the many requests for photographs and to give out his business cards to the guests. The President has a special business card complete with phone numbers and emails. But curiously, a caveat was employed at the end of the telephone, it says “text message only”.

    At the gate, the security agents had a herculean task controlling the crowd; a curious observer might wonder why the organisers could not get a more professional security agency to handle its affairs. But this was no ordinary event; it was one which would only yield to people of its kind. As the guests were all deaf and dumb, only security agents of such inclinations can adequately cater for them.

    Inside, loud music blared from a section of the arena, but it made no difference to the excited crowd of the deaf as diverse conversations went on from one small group to the other. It was silent conversations, one which was accompanied by sight and not sounds. Sometimes the eyes popped up in amazement at some exciting news and then all the emotions which spoke all that was needed would rush into their faces. The members of DSG resided in a world of their own, one which is open to only a few outsiders, a world reduced to grunts, groans and signs.

    How does one empathise with the deaf? How does one understand his emotions and frustrations? Living under a terrifying economic circumstances is bad but being handicapped, unable to hear the sound of the world as it whistles pass and unable to hear one’s own voice surely adds a new dimension to the frustration. The deaf and mute of the DSG have little love for their hearing counterparts, somehow, one gets the impression they feel the hearing society ‘owes’ them and when such debts are not paid, they feel persecuted by the world  and are constantly in conflict with the larger society.

    That is why they have acquired the reputation as possessing fiery temper and ill-manners. It was in order to debunk these stereotypes and prove that the deaf and dumb have brains and can contribute positively to the society that the DSG was founded. And every year, they come together for a few hours to furnish themselves with the universal happiness which has been given to all humans irrespective of their disability.

    Though, it was the beginning of the year, the members of the DSG chose to celebrate their end of the year events.  For some years, this event had unfailingly held at the same venue but the date depended on the charity of “hearing” philanthropists and kind-hearted public servants. This year, the charming philanthropist has been Senator Oluremi Tinubu, wife of Asiwaju Bola Tinubu, a former governor of Lagos State and leader of the All Progressives Congress (APC).

    At 11:00am, the Compere, Wole Ekundayo who had been an interpreter for the deaf for 17 years, breathed heavily into the microphone, an action that signified an end to the loud music.  But the end of the music did not stop the loud chatter coming from the members. Immediately, three interpreters placed themselves at different positions facing the crowd and began a furious spate of interpretations using sign language. One of them, Adeyemo Steven has volunteered for the DSG since 2005. Ekundayo darted round the assembly speaking and furiously using his hands to call for ‘silence’.

    When calm was restored, Ekundayo announced that there would be the singing of the national anthem. A cue was given and the anthem blared from the loudspeakers. All the members stood at attention, some placed their hands across their breasts while others made a sign of the salute. Though they could not hear the words but followed every line from the interpreters who used the signs to communicate the wordings. Though, no words were spoken, the anthem as rendered by the deaf seemed the sweetest and the most genuine ever sang.

    When it ended, Ekundayo made a sign to them to applause.  When the message was understood some merely raised their hands to the heavens while others waved them. The event proceeded in a slow and sluggish manner, understandably so because every word spoken by the compere had to be interpreted jointly by him and the interpreters. But he tried to make the event lively, making fun and jokes, switching from signs to speech.

    The President, Dahunsi was lavish in his praise of those he called “Friends of the Deaf.” He said the organisation has made significant improvements in the lives of its members: providing employment and improving access to education and health. He also said some of their members have gained employment with some local governments while others have been granted financial assistance.

    He then solicited further assistance from the public which include: a generating set, office equipments and training and empowerment of its members. But as much as Dahunsi tried to be optimistic, it was clear all was not well with the deaf in Nigeria. The National Coordinator of the DSG, Okiki Adeyemi was visibly angry when he took the microphone.  He accused many corporate organ-isations of “refusing” their request for help. A flurry of furious sign language followed and there was a general groan of disagreements.

    “Help us to explain to our leaders,” Adeyemi yelled, turning to the journalists. “The deaf wants to contribute positively to the nation but we need help. We need to set up our members in trade so they could stop begging on the streets”.

    Some members from the northern part of the country, who sat differently from the others, rose up when they understood what Adeyemi said and gave him some applause by raising their hands to heaven. But Adeyemi was not done. “We sent letters to some corporate organisations to support our organisation with Christmas presents so we can share to our members. We asked for food items and we got letters sent through the courier saying they cannot help us. If they had sent us the money used to send the letter, we would have bought the bags of rice,” he said.

    Adeyemi said the DSG had sent letters to Shell Petroleum Company, Lekki Concession Company, Dangote Foundation and Julius Berger Construction Company and they all sent letters expressing their regrets at not been able to grant the groups requests. With that, Adeyemi threw down on the table one of the packages used in ferrying the letter.

    More groans, grunts and signs

    Comfort Asare took centre stage afterwards. She was a tall, beautiful woman with penetrating, but charming eyes. She began by establishing that the deaf beg because there are no jobs she said the deaf do not have a dedicated police that understand their plight or medical personnel that can help them. “One of us died in Berger last week on the street, with his begging bowl beside him. We have to fight for our rights, we are special, and for how long will we be begging? The deaf are dying, please fight for us, we are not useless.

    “The deaf in America, they are equal, but here we have graduates but don’t have jobs, we want our own police, we want our own doctors; those who can understand us.”

    Asare was very angry. The crowd yelled. It was again that unusual yell accomplished in groans and grunts. When that seemed insufficient, they clapped. It was the first time they clapped since the event began.

    Kingsley Njoku, who graduated from the University of Ilorin in 2011, said, as soon as potential employers know you are deaf, “they quickly dismiss you”.

    But Alhaji Sulaiman Dagbo, a lecturer at the Federal College of Education (special) tried to encourage his people. He insisted they must not use their disability as an excuse, he said they are better than beggars and they possess one of the best brains in the world. The people listened to him, but few were placated.

    The deaf children

    The children of the deaf are generally referred to as deaf children. Though all of them present at the event could hear, they are also proficient in the sign language. Tayo and Boluwatife Ogunwale followed their deaf mother, Funke to the event, they seemed happy with their mother and declared that they are not ashamed of her. “We learn the sign language and we communicate well. She is our mother and we are not ashamed,” they said. There were others too. In the midst of the silent world their parent’s lives, they serve as the inaudible voice in the world of silence. Life for them is two- faced: One spent in silence and the other spent in hearing.

    Hope in disability

    Senator Tinubu brought a message of hope. Represented by Mrs. Salau Bashua, the wife of Lagos Island East Local Government said, despite the present challenges, they can be useful to themselves. She enjoined them to think higher and have greater goals in life. The compere had his own version of the speech. “Don’t say you can’t do anything, you can do more than those who hear.” The crowd yelled; there was silence.

    Senator Gbenga Ashafa brought more message of hope. For many years he has patronised the group and sent two representatives to the event. “We are here to support you, Senator Ashafa has always supported the deaf and we shared in your aspirations. Next year, we will provide the canopies and all the food that you need,” Otunba Lekan Adebayo, who represented the Senator, told the excited crowd.

    An American, Erica Mcvey said she is in the country to see what assistance she can render to the deaf. “I have made lots of contacts and I hope I can use my experience and resources to help them. I love the people,” she said.

    To show ability in disability, the Refuge Dancers were called up. Four young men took to the floor and choreographed to a gospel music with amazing precision and timeliness.  Though, they did not directly interpret the song, they however made it their own and gave it a new meaning. Their manager, Gbenga Sodehinde said: “We teach them through signs and counting of beats and tempo. We are available to entertain at any function”.

    The music began again. Ekundayo moved to the centre and began to dance; it was a clue to the deaf to join in the show. Many came forward, beautiful young girls, dancing away to the latest dance-hall music. Even though, some danced out of tune, they looked normal. Soon, the dance reached a crescendo and the dancers twisted and turned, performing all manner of erotic maneuvers. Men abandoned their dance to feast their lustful eyes on the deaf dancers.

  • Inside the fascinating world of Nigeria’s POWER BIKE RIDERS

    Inside the fascinating world of Nigeria’s POWER BIKE RIDERS

    AS she entered the bank building that morning, the young lady drew curious glances from onlookers. Not surprising considering the way she looked. Dressed in full biker gear in sturdy black leather jacket, black trousers complete with hefty knee, elbow and shoulder pads and black biker shoes, she could pass for something out of the science fiction movie, Transformers.

    As she left the building after transacting her business, a man ran after her.

    “Good job, good job!” he gushed, shaking her hand. Then he handed her an envelope containing some money as a way of, “showing his appreciation and admiration of her,” as he put it.

    That incident is one of many that Matilda Otulana, one of the hundreds of power bike riders in the country, faces regularly. Wherever she goes either alone or in a group, she attracts attention with on-lookers gazing at her in wonder as if she is a strange being from space. Others wonder if she’s human. Being a lady in a sport regarded as a macho one for mostly the male folk, gets her double attention.

    “I get mixed reactions from people,” the legal practitioner who works in a bank, told The Nation. “Some are impressed while others hate it. In my bank, I have people who like it because it’s not common.”

    The fad for power biking in Nigeria

    While the sport of power bike riding in Nigeria is a relatively new phenomenon, motorbikes have been a regular feature on Nigerian roads in many towns and cities for decades. Japanese made models like Yamaha, Suzuki and Vespa were the popular choice of motorbike lovers who rode them both for business and pleasure. Then sometime in the 1970s and 80s, commercial motorcycles, popularly known as ‘okada’ became ubiquitous on the roads as a faster means of moving around traffic-choked roads in the metropolis.

    And now the power or superbikes. These motorcycles are bigger, sleeker and faster with speed range of between 150- 350 km per hour. Beginning with a few numbers some years ago, these fast, rugged ‘machines’ have become more common on our roads. Besides the rugged looking bikes which are eye-catching enough, the riders when kitted out in their full body armour of jacket and trousers, full face helmet, boots, gloves, knee and elbow pads and other biker ensemble are a sight to behold. With their fast as-lightening speed and the stunts they perform, they could pass for characters in a gritty Hollywood action movie, especially of the James Bond variety.

    Wherever they are, especially when riding in a group, they draw stares and comments from the public who are often thrilled by their daredevil moves and speed. Over time, they have assumed a tough, rugged image, a kind of swagger that has further endeared them to a section of the public.

    So, who are these power bike aficionados who have chosen life on the fast lane, riding bikes at dizzying speed that would give the faint-hearted person serious heart palpitations?

    In their day jobs, they are highly trained, respected professionals such as lawyers, bankers, engineers, doctors, industrialists, pilots among others. Off-duty, however, the formal office suits are switched for tough-looking biker gear that give them an intimidating look. To some of these bikers, it’s a hobby while for others, it’s the thrill, sense of adventure and freedom it gives.

    Adebayo Banjo, an engineer and 35 year-veteran of bike riding belongs to this category. “I love riding power bike because it’s exciting. It represents freedom and speed,” stated the 53 year old in an interview. His forays into the sport started with a modest Suzuki 250 model in the ’70s but has now graduated to riding more exotic ‘big bikes’.

    Another great lover of these bikes is Femi Segun, former ambassador and multi-linguist. “Super bikers come in different outlooks. But one common thing among them is their unique style, bravado, and love for adventure,” he explained when asked on his passion for bike racing. His choice ‘machine’ which he rides about town is a ‘beast, a Kawasaki ZX1400 Ninja. It’s about the second fastest sports bike in the world which does 1-100 kph in 2.5 seconds with a top speed of 320kph.

    His love for racing began decades ago as an undergraduate at the then University of Ife (now Obafemi Awolowo University). “I started riding Superbikes when I was in my second year on campus in 1976. That was when I bought a Kawasaki 250cc. It was considered big in those days. After that I began riding my friends’ Kawasaki Z1000cc. That makes it 36 years ago, since I started riding bikes,” he disclosed.

    Continuing, he added: “In the beginning, I actually started out riding Mobylettes, you know, the small motorized bicycles that you pedal until it starts when I was about 13 years old in 1972. An uncle of mine had one and used to let my cousin and I ride it up and down the street, whenever he came visiting my parents. Then in 1975, this same cousin’s roommate at the University of Ife (Now OAU) had a small Kawasaki 100cc. We used to ride that, also. That was the first time I rode a bike that had proper gears.”

    Ikhide Izokpu is the current President of Easy Riders Motorcycle Club, Lagos. A public servant, he has a Bsc from Ambrose Ali University, Ekpoma, Edo State and an MBA from the Lagos State University, LASU.

    He began riding six years ago due to his ‘passion’ for racing. Said he: “I will substitute flair for passion. As you grow older, you look for the opportunity and time to do what you enjoy doing. When I was much younger, then bikes were one in a million- you could sit outside for about two hours without seeing them, so when one passes once in a month, you are like wow did it just pass? I get excited whenever I see them and I told myself that when I grow up I want to do that. And when I got older, I started riding.”

    On the thrill of riding Otulana, whose desire is to see more women riders, said: “The kind of fellowship you gain from being a biker is awesome. I’ve enjoyed the thrill. I don’t know how to describe it. There is this adrenaline I get when I’m on my bike.”

    Toying with danger

    While certain sports and pastimes come with an element of danger, that of motorbike racing is doubly so because of the intense speed involved. Though statistics are not readily available, there have been reported cases of accidents involving power bike riders which have resulted in bodily injuries and in some cases death.

    Speaking on this, Izokpu stated: “Well, it depends on the community and where you are actually riding to. Every mode of transportation has its own dangers. Like two weeks ago, a car just passed the toll gate going through inward Lekki, within few minutes, the car just somersaulted at absolutely no speed. If it was a motor cycle that went off like that, they would say okay because it’s a motor cycle, but it was a car. So, if we actually can, all of us, nobody is exempted, obey traffic rules and regulations, I’m sure it will be safer for motorcycles. If you are going to measure risk among Keke Marwa (three wheeler tricycle, okada, cars, buses, trailers, I think motor cycles have a higher risk.”

    “Biking could be a dangerous sport, but everything is dangerous if not well managed,” declared Charley Boy, musician and entertainer and one of the pacesetters of power bike riding in Nigeria sometime ago in an interview. The self-proclaimed ‘Area Fada’ of Okada riders of Nigeria, disclosed that he was always careful while riding, and as such, had never been involved in a crash.

    The same cannot be said for Otulana who has had about three crashes since she began riding four years ago. She shared her experience: “I’ve had three crashes. It was on the Lagos/Ibadan Expressway. We were going to ride on one way, and we had to ride through a muddy path. It was very slippery and I mistakenly hit a Nissan car’s rear light. My biker friends gathered round me to help out and dusted my body. Meanwhile, the owner of the car was complaining, ‘My car! my car! You must fix back my car.’ By then I had not removed my helmet. By the time I did, the man was surprised to discover that it was a woman biker. He just shouted ‘go away’. Though he was upset at it, he was also surprised. I didn’t sustain any wound though the bike was slightly damaged and I had to repair it in Ibadan.

    “On my second trip to Ibadan on our way back to Lagos, I was so tired and not as alert as I used to be and started making mistakes on motion. As we rode pass Mowe/Ibafo, a bus driver just hit my bike by the side and had to drop the bike. I fell off the bike. By then, a crowd had gathered around me to know what was wrong. I removed my helmet and was almost going to fight the bus driver when the mob started beating him.

    “In fact, I had to beg them to stop beating the driver. Funnily, some children were touching me to see if I was a human being. My biker friends too had stopped to see what was wrong because we look out for each other while riding. I knew they were trying to ride back to see what had happened to me. I just checked myself and found no injury on me. So, I started my bike and rode on. It’s a fantastic experience.

    “If the road is in good condition, Lagos to Ibadan is 55 minutes on bike but the road is bad which we travelled in an hour. You speed and reduce your speed in some parts. My bike is called a sport tourer. It’s good for long distance. When approaching a pothole, you have to reduce your speed to 60km so you manoeuvre through the pothole because your hand is always on the brake, you down gear.

    “My third crash was very slight. A driver hit my bike on motion and ran away. I was able to control it to avoid me falling off the bike. I’ve been very lucky while riding on major roads.”

    To Banjo, motor bike riding can be quite safe if one is well trained and follows the rules of riding. “There are rules governing power bike riding,” he maintained, noting: “People should be well trained before riding. They also need to be well kitted to protect themselves in case of accidents. They should always ride in full biker gear of helmet, jacket, boots, elbow and knee pads.”

    While most riders complain about the bad roads in the country which hamper a smooth riding experience, Banjo’s biggest grouse is Keke and Okada riders. “They are the biggest dangers to us on the roads because they are so reckless. Then, there are the drivers of Jeeps particularly the women, many of whom can’t drive well. Weekends- Saturdays and Sundays- are the most dangerous days because that’s when these women come out in their Jeeps; we have been hit many times by them. There are also oil spills, potholes and other things which disturb us on the road. I had accidents when I was younger and I used to speed a lot,” he noted.

    For Segun, a major crash some years ago cost him some teeth and broken bones. “I know that I was one of the earliest to have a major crash in which I lost two of my teeth and broke some bones on October 8, 1976. But I survived it obviously,” he said.

    Long distance riders

    While some riders like short city or town shuttles, for others like Izokpu, the longer the distance, the better.

    “Out of town ride is my favourite,” he said, adding: “I have been to most states in Nigeria on my bike. You actually have to prepare for it, first you have to be mentally and physically fit. Secondly, you have to know your body system. I will give you an example. Riding now (in the afternoon), it will be very hot. You may think you are okay but you could be very dehydrated and the next thing you could just fall off the bike and you would be wondering what happened?

    “So, if you know that you are dehydrated, you stop and sip water. Usually when riding, you use the cannon pack- it’s like a back patch, coming to your front and goes into your mouth- then as you ride, you sip at any point in time you are dehydrated. So I use it when I’m going for long journeys like going to Benin or Abuja. Initially, I used to take it to Benin but now I don’t use cannon pack to Benin. It’s also called dehydration pack. I use it when I go further than Benin or further than a four hours journey and I get tired. If you don’t have that, you can always stop every hour and take a sip of water or Lucozade, usually water and a little sugar and glucose.”

    “I’ve not done pass Ibadan, Abeokuta and Lagos. I hope to go on far distance riding,” said Otulana, who does not see biking as a big deal. “When I get the kind of reaction I get from people, I feel sometimes, what’s the big deal with riding a bike? There is really no big deal in riding a bike, just that there are few women who do it.”

    An elitist hobby?

    Power bike riding is an expensive hobby, considering the cost of the motorbikes and other paraphernalia of riding. Findings show that many of them are more expensive than cars, with some going for about N2.3m and others about N4m and above, depending on its capacity. For instance, popular brands like Yamaha 1000cc costs about N2.3m or more. “Some of the exotic, big bikes can go for as high as N5m, including cost of insurance,” said Banjo. This has made some observers of the sport to brand it elitist like polo or other popular sports of the rich. Many see it as a hobby for the ‘big boys’ in town, who have the wherewithal to afford the expensive bikes.

    But Izopku disagrees, stating: “I wish I can say yes but I will say no to the assertion that power biking is elitist. if you decide to commit to a car, and you buy it for one million naira and use it to commute to work every day and I say, ‘me I no fit for traffic o,’ and I opt for a motorcycle of N700, 000, that is my means of commuting to work. Your means is car, so that’s the way it is. If I want to buy a motorcycle for five million, and I can afford it to commute to work, I will. If you want to buy a car of seven million, or simply five million, it is what you want, so it has nothing to do with being elitist or that it is for the rich only. It is like saying the car is for the rich. There are cars of N200,000, likewise bikes of 200,000. It is for everybody, so it is relative.”

    Brotherhood of bikers

    With the increasing number of people taking up the hobby, different associations and clubs have sprung up to take care of bikers’ interests. In Lagos, there are the Easy Riders Motorcycle Club, Ikeja, the Wheelers, the Angels (based in Festac) and a few others. In Abuja, there is the Capital City Motorcycle Club, among others.

    On the benefits of belonging to the five year-old Easy Riders’ Club, its President said: “It’s the passion. We share ideas, share experiences, exchange contacts just in case you need someone to assist. You can work in a bank and I need to access the facilities, work in telecoms or oil company and I need to get a product or anything, we just help ourselves.”

    Otulana, who does not feel intimidated being one of the few female bikers, spoke on the camaraderie among bikers. “The club makes me feel I’m part of them because we share a common bond together. We have actually learnt the act of trust; it’s more than sharing the same passion, we see each other now as a family. Initially when I started riding, they welcomed me in whether they thought I was going to finally ride or not. The fact that I am a lady does not make any difference.”

    Banjo is not too happy with what he referred to as, “certain individuals who are trying to form clubs and cliques and force people to conform to their rules.” It’s one of the growing problems of biking in Nigeria today,” he grumbled. “There are some bikers going to government and saying ‘we are bikers association and asking that laws should be put in biking. This is not right; they don’t have the right to lord it over bikers because once you start putting restrictions on bikers who are free-spirited, you are moving towards cults, gangs like Hell’s Angels (in the U.S). We, the real older bikers want to maintain our integrity and protect ourselves from unscrupulous elements trying to take control of riding in the country.”

    Wives’ worries

    Due to the element of danger in bike riding, it is understand able why most spouses of riders tend to be apprehensive about their partners’ sport of choice. Some are vehemently against it and do anything to stop their husbands from riding.

    A Lekki-based mother of two, who spoke on condition of anonymity, stated: “When my husband bought his first power bike about six years ago, I was not happy at all. I feared for his safety, especially when someone we knew died while riding to Benin on his power bike. I begged him to sell it and to stop riding but he refused. So, one day when he travelled out of the country, I looked for a buyer and sold it. You can imagine how mad he was when he returned and found his bike gone! It caused a quarrel that lasted for nearly a year. Later, he bought another one and for the sake of peace in our home and to keep my marriage, I didn’t protest. In fact, I no longer quarrel with him about riding and let him do what he wants.”

    She’s not alone in her concerns for her spouse. Said Segun on this: “Of course my wife is concerned. She was so relieved when I sold my last bike, Suzuki GX750R a couple of years ago as she thought I was done with riding. She was upset when she saw this new one, but she had to accept it when I explained to her that I had a project I was working on which involves bikes and that was why I need one at this time.”

    “Initially it was a no,,” said Izokpu on his wife’s reaction when he was making plans to buy a power bike. “When I told her I wanted to buy a motorcycle, she told me: ‘You are joking’ and she walked away. She forgot the husband that she married. I had already thought the process through and I just decided to throw it to her, this is what I am gonna do, so you better support me. I knew that if I sat down to discuss it with her, she would definitely not agree, so I told her this is what am going to do and you better support me.

    “The first couple of months when I got the motorcycle was traumatic for her- she kept praying and praying. Whenever I travelled was the worst. So, whenever I stop to buy fuel, I have to send her a message, ‘I am at Ijebu ode’, or Ore or any other place. So, she got used to it for like six months before she started feeling comfortable. Now, if I tell her I’m going out of town, Abuja, to Ghana or anywhere, she is absolutely comfortable with it.”

    Asked if they ride together like some bikers do with their wives, he jocularly stated: “Let’s put it this way; it is allowed only for one person to be insane in the house. I am the insane one, she is the good one. Absolutely lovely woman!”

  • What a world we live in!

    Along with their Excellencies, our honourables are creating a world in which the haves are plundering and the have-nots are gnashing their teeth in hunger and anger

    I am an unabashed student of the many-worlds theory. The theory says many things, among which is that you and I don’t live in the same world if we don’t share a viewpoint, a purpose, a government, or even a tube of toothpaste. Come to think of it, when we do share toothpaste but don’t both believe in capping it after use or that it should be pressed from below, then your world is as removed from mine as Mt. Everett. I just love that theory. Oh yeah, it also says that whatever you can imagine to have happened really did happen, in another world. So, I shook my head when I heard about the Aviation minister ordering and paying for two armoured cars at the rate of 255 million Naira. I just thought, now look what you’ve gone and done! How could I have gone and imagined such a horrid thing? What in the world was I doing? Because of my stupid imaginations, now we live in a world where Stella Oduah actually went and purchased two vehicles for the price of six!

    When I watch a programme where some westerner who is bored to death about the monotony of his world where everything is so readily available he is spoilt for choice, and he takes off for the wilds for some camping experience, I marvel at his/her hankerings. You see, all he/she wants at that moment is some kind of change: a scenario where the bed is a sodden mass of hay; the cooking stove is a soaked paraffin lamp; the food is enriched by bush roaches, centipedes and crickets; the paved walk-ways are actually pot-holed ditches. He/she wants that world where nothing works; he/she experiences that world by soaking it in, revelling in it and sniffing it appreciatively! What a thing to do! I say, when I see such people, I usually go, ‘there is no pleasing mankind’. Here we are in Africa, hankering after the perfect world of the West; and there they are in the West, hankering after the world of Africa where nothing works. I suspect though, that should you ask them both to exchange worlds, they would soon get bored with what they’ve got and begin to hanker after the other’s world all over again. There is just no pleasing mankind.

    I think I’ve told this story before but I will repeat it nevertheless because, yeah, you’ve guessed it, I love repeating myself. It’s a little like the man who says he repeats his jokes because no one is listening to him anyway. Perhaps it never occurred to him that perhaps, just perhaps, people would start listening to him were he to stop repeating his jokes. Anyway, there is this story told of Paul Getty, the then oil magnate. At an interview, he was said to have stated that were the world’s riches to be gathered together and then redistributed to everyone equally, the sharp gap between the rich and the poor would reappear within five minutes. Why? Because within five minutes, some would have lost theirs, some would have had theirs stolen, some would have gambled theirs away in exchange for something else they value more than the riches, some would have given theirs away, and some would have hidden theirs and pretended to be poor again.

    The antics of the leaders of this country certainly post an impression to the rest of the known world that we in Nigeria live in a world where the majority still have their own riches intact in their hands, pockets and banks. The streets in this here world are just flowing with the stuff. Just look at the way the presidency spends the stuff; see how lavishly the government functionaries live; see our shameful list of national purchases; see the latest national purchase – the armoured vehicles. Once upon a time, our Obj. used to fly around the world in commercial planes. Now, we hear the presidency and government houses have so many planes and jets that regularly ply the routes between their Excellencies’ living and bedrooms the places are practically hangars. In this kind of world then, how can we ask the Honourable minsters to be quiet?

    The Honourable ministers, not to be outdone, have thus joined the fray. Rather than construct hangars, they have taken to constructing super garages built of impenetrable armour filled with vehicles exotic enough to make the car plants in U.S. and Tokyo gnash their teeth in envy. That is all Stella Oduah did. So, along with their Excellencies, our honourables are creating a world in which the haves are plundering and the have-nots are gnashing their teeth in hunger.

    The sad thing is that the have-nots, the rest of us not so excellent and honourable Nigerian people, are really gnashing our teeth in hunger and grinding it in anger. The world where we live in is not in need of hangars and garages. We are not there yet. The real world we live in is just interested in constructing soil heaps where we hope to raise some yams and tomatoes to ward off a world where hunger, famine, death and decay follow one another in uncanny succession. But, being such excellent and honourable people who live in a world of plenty, the Nigerian leaders would not know a thing about that. In these parts then, there is none of that ‘the people are starving’ plea bargaining meant for the ears of the sympathising judges in the West.

    I ask myself, what does anyone around here need an armoured vehicle for? True, there are security challenges (and that’s putting it very politically mildly), but they certainly do not warrant this armoury of armoured vehicles being stockpiled. One, that kind of armoury will not fight the security war; two, unless the user has a bathroom, kitchen, streets, offices and all the people he/she would ever have to interact with in a lifetime inside that armoured vehicle, I honestly do not see their use. What I am saying is that the user has to come out of it sometime, if only to pee. Then he/she would be accosted by the real world we live in. And what a world that is!

    Oh yes, very obviously, these infernal purchases do not reflect the real world of the average Nigerian. In that world, the streets are paved with potholes and there is no knowing the roads from the fields for the grass. That world contains the majority of us watching the drama of the absurd, albeit in hunger and want. We watch as our leaders tell the entire world that the country is on a rigid diet; no alcohol before breakfast, please, and then go on a binge afterwards.

    Nigerian leaders need to begin to take themselves seriously, if they want the world to do the same. They need to show that statecraft is not about satisfying their personal wants and desires. That is more likely to drive the country into penury. It is about leading the nation out of want and danger, poverty and silliness. By their antics, our leaders are giving the nation a world of want, danger, poverty and silliness. And what a world it is we live in!