It was a celebration of love, faith, and enduring grace as Archbishop Joseph Ojo marked his golden wedding anniversary with his wife of 50 years, Rev. Esther Ojo, at Calvary Kingdom Church, Lagos. The atmosphere was filled with gratitude to God for a union that has not only stood the test of time but has also become a living testimony to generations within and beyond the Christian community.
In this exclusive interview with ADEOLA OGUNLADE, the revered cleric reflects on the journey of five decades of marriage, describing it as a walk sustained by grace, contentment, and a deliberate decision to enjoy every season of life. Far from seeing 50 years as an impossible distance, Archbishop Ojo explains how learning to value daily milestones, trusting God through rough and smooth paths, and living simply has shaped both his family life and ministry.
From his early days as a taxi driver and new convert, to becoming a spiritual father to many across the world, Archbishop Ojo shares deeply personal insights on marriage, commitment, prayer, counseling, and the role of the church in nurturing healthy homes. As Nigeria grapples with rising marital challenges, his reflections—drawn from experience rather than theory—offer timeless lessons for young couples, church leaders, and families seeking marriages that endure and truly thrive.
Looking back over these 50 years, how would you describe the journey so far? To some people, 50 years can feel like an eternity, particularly for those who do not maximise or truly enjoy each moment. A single day can seem as long as 50 years. But when grace is present and you know how to value and enjoy your seasons, even 15 years can feel like a day or a month.
One of the greatest lessons these 50 years has taught us is the grace to enjoy today without being anxious about tomorrow. Tomorrow will surely come. I did not create the 50 years; God created them, and we simply walked into them.
We have lived our lives simply—enjoying one another, trusting one another, and loving one another. That simplicity is what has brought us this far.
When you are embarking on a long journey, you don’t begin by calculating the total distance. If you focus only on how far it is, it can feel overwhelming and unrealistic. Instead, you move from milestone to milestone—acknowledging each step, each progress made.
What sustained us was learning to appreciate every stage: “I have passed this point, I have crossed that one.” Looking at 50 years all at once can seem daunting, but enjoying each moment—whether smooth or rough—made the journey fulfilling.
Through it all, we kept our eyes on God. That, truly, has been the secret of our journey.
At a time when many marriages collapse even before they properly begin—and others break down just months or a year after—what practical steps do you think young couples can take to build lasting marriages?
The truth is that the institution itself cannot help; it is the minister who can help—and even then, a person can only give what he truly has. I say this with all due respect to pastors and churches. If you are in a church led by someone who does not value marriage, that person will always find a way to justify divorce, even with scripture, and make it appear biblical and acceptable.
Such a person may tell you that divorce is not an unpardonable sin—which is true—and then go further to argue that God did not intend one man for one woman, supporting the claim with selected Scriptures. Everything will be framed to sound spiritual, but the underlying value for marriage is missing.
What I pray people will learn is the simple message our lives are preaching. One of the secrets that sustained our marriage is that we were not rigid; we chose to be liberal—especially toward each other. The Bible says the liberal soul shall be made fat, and that liberality is not only about money.
If you desire peace in your home, give peace to your spouse. Be generous with understanding, patience, and kindness. If you want your spouse to be healthy, do everything within your power to promote their well-being. That has been one of our greatest secrets.
Another important principle is focus. Don’t live with an “open eye” that is constantly wandering. My wife and I have never lived that way. Our attention has never been on other things or other lives. While some people boast about affluence—and there is nothing wrong with that—we chose a life of contentment.
Scripture teaches godliness with contentment, not godliness and contentment. “With” means contentment is not an addition; it is an essential part of godliness itself. Without contentment, godliness cannot stand. But with contentment, a marriage can truly thrive.
Can you take us back to the beginning—how did you meet your wife, fondly called ‘Mommy’?
I met my wife during my early years in the faith. As I mentioned earlier, I had spoken to two sisters in the church about marriage, but both declined. At the time, I was an usher—and before then, I was widely known as a taxi driver. I started driving a taxi in 1968, which is about 57 years ago, and I was still a taxi driver when I got saved in 1972.
In fact, many of the leaders in the Church of God Mission learned how to drive from me. I have always been a giver—not only of money, but of time, skills, and whatever I had.
After I gave my life to Christ in 1972, God began a process of transformation in my life—like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. I was born again in February of that year, and by November, Bishop Koka, seeing my commitment and dedication, appointed me the head usher, even though I was still a young convert. That was how I began to grow steadily in the church.
Some years later, when I felt it was time to marry, I approached two sisters, but both turned me down. At the time, they still saw me only as a taxi driver. This taught me an important lesson: never judge people by who they are in the present. If God were to reveal their future to you, you might be the one pleading instead.
After those experiences, I decided not to pursue marriage aggressively. Instead, I focused on my calling—going into the field to “fish.” I preached the gospel, won souls, and nurtured them in the faith. And in the course of that obedience, God led me to my wife.
From your personal experience, some churches encourage long periods of waiting and prayer before marriage, insisting on clearly seeing the will of God, while others take a different approach. Is there one definite pathway for knowing God’s will when it comes to marriage?
Whether you are among those who wait for a long time in prayer and fasting, or those who move forward sooner, there is one factor that must be certain—grace. No matter how much prayer led you into marriage, if grace is absent, the marriage will struggle.
Marriage, like salvation, must be worked out. The Bible says we should work out our salvation with fear and trembling. If you do not know how to walk out your marriage, it will overwhelm you. When that happens, discouragement sets in.
Prayer is essential. As a Christian, if you do not pray, you are spiritually blind. Through prayer, you come to understand the will of God. And what is the will of God? Scripture says, “In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God.”
When I approached my wife and she said she wanted to pray about it, I went home and gave thanks to God. If you ask someone to wait for you while you are still desperate and uncertain, you may have already undermined the process. But when you respond with thanksgiving, trusting God, you align with His will.
Then, when the other person returns and says, “I have prayed, and God has also shown me that you are the right person,” the Bible says that in the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word is established. That is how clarity and confirmation come.
How then can the church genuinely help young men and guide them toward healthy, godly marriages?
The only effective way the church can help youths in our churches is through example. For a long time, the church—and many pastors—have tried to lead people by prescription alone. But people are no longer looking for instructions only; they are looking for examples.
When we were in school, after teaching a lesson, the teacher would write “Example” on the board to demonstrate what had just been taught. Unfortunately, today many teachers of marriage and ministry cannot provide examples because they have none to give.
By God’s grace, my wife and I are living examples. I am not saying this to criticize anyone. But when someone whose marriage carries unresolved questions speaks about marriage negatively, that negative perspective spreads, and people begin to accept it as truth.
That is why living examples matter. When marriages and ministries reflect what is being preached, people can believe, learn, and follow. May God help us to become such examples to this generation.
What advice would you give to couples who are currently experiencing serious challenges in their marriages?
First and foremost, prayer is essential—very essential. There are people who entered marriage without full understanding or clarity, and when challenges arose, they became overwhelmed. While such situations deserve sympathy, the reality is that many did not enter marriage with open eyes. However, once they are in it, abandoning the union is not the solution.
Beyond prayer, they need sound counsel—from the right people. Not from those who demonise every issue and immediately declare, “There is a demon after you,” followed by instructions to fast for days or pay for deliverance. Fasting and prayer alone cannot resolve marital conflicts.
What truly settles marital issues is sound teaching, godly examples, and wise counselling. A good counsellor does not make decisions on behalf of the couple. When I counsel people with marital challenges, I do not choose for them. I present options. If I choose for you, I did not walk your path, and the problem may become even more complicated.
Proper counselling involves prayer and guidance: “This is what I think you should do, and this is what I think you should avoid. If you don’t want to take this route, here is another option.” With two or three clear options, the counsellor prays with the couple and trusts God to speak to them through those choices.
Telling someone, “That man will kill you—leave the house immediately,” without proper discernment is not counselling; it is contributing to divorce and deepening fear. Such statements often compound the problem rather than solve it.
I recently taught about marriage using the journey to the Promised Land as an illustration. Marriage has stages. There is the “Egypt” experience—before salvation, when there was no order. Then there is the Red Sea experience—when you are saved but suddenly face barriers with no clear way forward. After that comes the wilderness, followed by the Jordan River, and eventually the Promised Land.
But even in the Promised Land, challenges do not completely disappear. God Himself said He would not drive out all the enemies at once, so that His people would remain alert and disciplined. In the same way, marriage will always have moments that keep both partners in check.
That is the reality of marital life. With prayer, sound counsel, godly teaching, and wisdom, couples can navigate every stage and still arrive at God’s purpose for their union.
Considering the increasing cases of marital crises, domestic violence, and even loss of lives within the Christian community in Nigeria, do you think it is time for bodies like PFN and CAN to engage professionally trained and gifted counsellors to work with couples—both before marriage and during marriage?
I believe this responsibility rests primarily with individual denominations and local churches. For instance, I cannot subject members of my church to a professional counsellor whose doctrinal background I do not understand or trust—unless such counselling is carried out within the church structure.
In our church, before couples get married, we assign them counsellors. They are counselled by a pastor and his wife, combining biblical teaching with real-life testimonies and practical examples. This is very important. If you expose a couple to a counsellor who interprets every issue as demonic, fear can be planted in their hearts even before the marriage begins. In extreme cases, such fear may even prevent healthy marital intimacy.
Therefore, I believe marital counselling should be handled within individual churches by properly equipped counsellors, rather than being centrally managed by PFN. PFN, after all, is a body made up of different denominations with diverse doctrines.
Many counsellors within our churches are not professionally trained and may not fully understand the complexities and realities of modern-day marital challenges. How can this gap be addressed?
I understand your concern, and the truth must be told: even many pastors are not professionally trained in counselling. That is a reality we must confront. This is precisely why I believe it would be wise and advisable for PFN and CAN to encourage and promote professional training for those who counsel people on marital matters.
I think it is a safe and necessary step. In fact, I would be willing to raise this matter with our leadership to see what can be done. Equipping counsellors with professional skills—while maintaining sound doctrine—will go a long way in addressing the complex marital challenges of our time and ensuring healthier Christian homes.
There are differing opinions among pastors on separation and divorce, especially in situations where one spouse feels threatened or unsafe. When the life of either partner is at risk, what is your perspective? Should separation or divorce be considered in such cases, especially with the argument that one cannot remain single or separated indefinitely?
That question can even be directed to the Roman Catholic Church—why their priests are not married. Every doctrine has what it seeks to avoid and what it fears. My own counsel in such sensitive situations begins with prayer and careful investigation. We must ask important questions: What is the root cause of the threat? What created the fear? How was the relationship before this fear or threat emerged? These matters require deep and honest examination.
Jesus taught that when an evil spirit leaves a person and finds no resting place, it may return with even more destructive forces, making the situation worse than before. This principle applies when problems are addressed superficially without proper grounding and understanding.
Unfortunately, we live in a time when many people who are not spiritually grounded find themselves leading churches. I say this with humility and concern. Some are in ministry primarily because of economic pressure, not divine calling. This has resulted in the rise of unqualified and even dangerous voices behind the pulpit—people who glorify money, crowds, and influence without true spiritual depth. Scripture warns that such situations often end in greater damage.
When an ungrounded person counsels someone already in deep crisis, the outcome can be disastrous. A person in distress will cling to any advice offered, just as a drowning person grabs any hand extended—without knowing whether that hand belongs to someone who can truly save them or someone who is also drowning.
That is why such cases must be handled with wisdom, prayer, discernment, and sound spiritual grounding. Rushed conclusions or poorly informed counsel can worsen an already fragile situation.
