Were Ikeja Electric (IE) a citizen of flesh and blood, it would glory in multiple outlawry: rape, extortion, blackmail, robbery, among a few.
But underlying all of these serious crimes would be sloth — for that seems to underscore its fanciful and creative accounting, with which it, absolutely without remorse, steals from its helpless customers; and threatens to cut them off if they didn’t rush to pay its extorted bills.
Now, look at the IE rape, from Bill number 0100218678 (in Okota, under its Oshodi business unit), which by the way reflects the outrage IE meets out to millions of its other constantly raped customers, ferociously hassled to pay a premium for supplied darkness, via its notorious estimated billing practice.
For February 2021, IE jacked up its bill from N23, 000 (in that neighbourhood) to N36, 000. Customer 0100218678, that always strove to pay in full, in spite of IE shambolic services and even ruder and dishonourable conduct, paid N30, 000, duly receipted via transaction date 13 March 2021, 4:30 pm, vide reference no. 202103131630067821. The ticket even quoted 0100218678 (the bill no) as “account no”, aside from providing the IE dealer code: IE6595.
Yet, see the one-way text message IKJELECTRIC sent on March 25: “Dear customer, our record shows you have not paid your February 2021 bill. Kindly make full payment of current bill and 30% of your outstanding bill to avoid disconnection. Thank you for allowing us to serve you — which should have read: thank you for allowing us to scam you!
Open sesame — IE indeed jerked awake in its March bill! In it, it acknowledged the February payment of N30, 000, down-loaded its March bill of N36, 308. 66 and chalked up its new wonder “amount due” as N73, 542. 50!
Well, much of March witnessed the national grid collapse, sending power supply tumbling south, which IE itself acknowledged, with some apologia to customers. Yet the IE bill, of N36, 308.66, is as constant as the proverbial northern star! On what basis would billing be the same when service dipped so badly?
To give the devil its due though, Customer 0100218678 has paid N25, 000 to IE, with transaction information: Ref. No. BIL105151122; date: 15 March 2021; time: 09:54:35. But don’t bet on it some over-fed accounts clerk, paid with cash for supplying pit darkness instead of electricity, would not fire a text saying: by his creative accounts records, the customer had paid no dime!
Besides, trust IE to defend its N36, 000+ March bill, pushing it to customers’ account as “debt”, when it never rendered that level of service — and you can bet it would work such grand forgery into the new pre-paid meter account! Brazen outlaws!
So, if your accounting system lacks integrity, on what basis would you tell harried customers to do “full payment of current bill and 30% of your outstanding bill to avoid disconnection”? What is full payment and 30% of voodoo?
But that’s the monthly extortion, blackmail, rape and sheer corporate robbery IE visits on its customers. That the Nigerian state avails its security agencies to that brazen outlawry is clearly a high crime against the citizen, which must stop.
The cowards and bullies, IE field marketing staff could, reading this, hurry to the customer’s house and disconnect the building on the basis of this complaint. That was done before; and there is no guarantee it won’t be done again. But if you duel with a lunatic, why would folks not doubt your own sanity?
Perhaps with pre-paid meters becoming inevitable, IE is ramping up its fraudulent “estimated” billing to game customers to pay for creative bills. Well, it has the likes of Customer 0100218678 to contend with. Still, it’s high time the Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission (NERC) dealt this unrepentant corporate cheat.
We did not see moments of national empathy for President Muhammadu Buhari when he fled Nigeria for his routine medical checkup. After all, it was not like in 2016 when the morbid hour threatened, or Yar’Adua 2.0. Nothing startled in our presidential comfort zone.
The thing was the president was well. But what of the country? The president has a jet to fly out, but what of its citizens? The president has a doctor, but what of Nigerian doctors? The president’s doctor was not on strike, but wore his frock and wielded his scalpel. At that time, the Nigerian doctor was striking a match of protest so he can wear a frock and wield a scalpel. London was cold, our president was warm, but Nigeria was boiling hot.
Garba Shehu, ever making a wrong leap, said the president had a physician in the United Kingdom, long before he became president. He demystified his principal’s image of the common touch. The talakawa captain ate with the poor but healed with the rich. When they chanted sai baba, they returned to their huts when hurt. He hurtled to the Queen’s bosom.
We have no record how many Nigerians slumped and expired here while his doctors doted over him. How many kidney’s failed, hearts arrested, wounds bled without stop, tumours that halted humours at home. Or how many died from malaria or routine birth pangs.
Yet, we cannot say the president does not deserve the best medical care. He is the leader of the country. He should be in the best health to decide on education, the infrastructure deficit, the herdsmen forays and the thieves on official prowl.
He had the benefit in 2016. He was a baby president, apologies to Ayo Fayose. He still needed to put things in place for medical care. He had to thresh the floor for policy, to turn Nigerian hospitals from mere consulting clinics to full-fledged clinics and hospitals, to reengineer personnel recruitment and training to make our hospital on the march to the 21st century. We have not seen this, and when he decided in the sixth year of his stewardship to travel for mere checkup, we can understand why many Nigerians are not asking whether our president is doing well. He did not speak to Nigerians but he made himself an epistolary poet, a man of letters. He wrote a letter to another leader about his welfare. Not to us who pay the bills, but to some fellow elite enjoying the same perquisite.
There are some members of the elite who feel Buhari’s pain. They can afford the thousands of pounds it must cost for a day at the hospital. They spend it without apology. They can afford it, and why not. They don’t run our healthcare system. They have no say. They just consume. And if they must consume, why should they wait and die in consulting clinics. They put their dollars where their health is.
But that elite self-justification has been purloined by their political elite. They set up a few clinics with a few drugs, and hail themselves as the John The Baptist of good governance. Years after year, our health indices fall. OBJ’s centres of excellence became excellence in cretinism.
Six years after he was sworn in, Buhari has no reason to seek empathy. He did not need to have brought us to healing pond or Pool of Siloam. But we should see it in the works. No one forced him to proclaim that no public servant should seek medical attention abroad. He is seeking it. That does not make him a hero. It does not make him Sai Baba but “Baba say”. Many say baba does not say anything these days.
In 2016, many thought he would go. His great foes were his associates. Some of them were in the frenzy of permutations. Who would replace him? Underhand plots unearthed and cracked like pots of clay. Colleagues jousted in furtive places. Meetings and counter-meetings. On the streets, some prayed in the spirit. Some prayed against his spirit. Churches and mosques were vessels of heavenly invocations. Prophets mumbled his apocalypse. Imams saw the new successors. Newspaper editors were imagining headlines. Talakawa beggars triumphed who raised their hands in divine pleas.
When he erupted through the Abuja skies, we saw bedlam on the streets. I wonder what is going on in the minds of those Nigerians who fell in a trance for him in 2016. In their delirium of joy, they carped and howled as he returned after the medical suspense. A certain joy-clad fellow poured water on the ground and drank. That person may have headed to the hospital afterwards. Dances. Claps. Songs. Sai baba. That was then. He was draped in messianic robe. This time, no éclat, no claps. We can say also, there was no stake. His health was in no danger. That exactly is the point. Since he was in no danger, he did not need to go, not when medical care was in turmoil at home.
Not long ago, I learned of a Nigerian who lives in the United States who had a pacemaker for his heart. Former Vice President Mike Pence had a similar procedure last week. The Nigerian would love to retire home, but he said he could not. “We don’t even have the drugs I need here in this country,” he explained. “When I had the surgery, there were six doctors who spent hours in the operation. I can’t count the nurses and support staff. When they were done, the doctors said I would be up and running in six weeks. The way I was feeling, I did not believe them. But they were right. If I was living in Nigeria, I would have been history. They said they gave me presidential-style treatment.” He is a regular US citizen.
This is why many go abroad. This is why the president did. He has the power to set such infrastructure up. That is why many are not happy, and would not as much as say, hope all is well, our dear president. The average Nigerian is like the blind Bartimaeus in the Bible crying for miracle as Jesus walked by. Many of them are not as lucky. They don’t get their miracles.
I wonder if the president grieves over the graying of his myth, that his faithful now choke on his mantra, that baba and sai no longer occur in the same breath. I would want to enter his stream of consciousness, to know whether, like Lord Jim in Joseph Conrad’s novel, he suffers delusions about himself, or remorse. Not whether he failed his people, but whether he failed himself. That is what this essayist likes to know.
Fear, glory and Ebube Agu
•Ebonyi State Governor Dave Umahi
Last week, this essayist set some English language and semiotics pundits on fire over how to define an icon, or how iconography works. I had a friendly joust with Transportation Minister Rotimi Amaechi over whether we could as yet call the railways headquarters an icon. While that debate raged in and outside this column, I saw that a poor definition was afoot. It was in the southeast when the governors launched Ebube Agu, the region’s answer to the Southwest’s Amotekun. I joked that Amotekun, a big cat in its own right, was as a baby jaw compared to the famed king of the jungle, the lion. The leopard will wince when it hears the territorial roar of the big cat. It will know no peace but retreat even when it sniffs its territorial piss. No matter. But when Ebube Agu was translated for the public, some called it the fear of the lion or the glory of the lion. They mean well. I don’t speak Igbo, but it shows how translation alone cannot be left in the hands of the owners of the language. They can destroy it. Remember Nkpoko Igbo, the popular TV series of yore. Fear here makes the lion strong without authority. Glory hints at accomplishment or celebration. The translator must look for a word that matches the context. In this case, it is security. Here, I suggest AWE. It encompasses both fear and glory, and lends respectability. You don’t only fear the best armies, you respect them. How about that, my Igbo friends.
Tammy Abraham is considering seeking a fresh opportunity after being left out of the Chelsea squad that beat Manchester City in the FA Cup semi-final.
The striker has fallen down the pecking order since Thomas Tuchel’s arrival at Stamford Bridge in January and the uncertainty over his future has alerted Leicester City and West Ham. Although Abraham remains Chelsea’s top scorer with 12 goals in 30 appearances this season, Tuchel has used him sparingly and did not include him on his nine-man bench against City.
The snub was a further sign that Abraham’s future could lie away from west London. The 23-year-old, who looks increasingly unlikely to make England’s Euro 2020 squad, has been in full training since recovering from an ankle injury and his latest high-profile omission could convince him to push for a move this summer.
Tuchel has preferred to use Timo Werner and Kai Havertz up front and Chelsea could enter the market for a new No 9 this summer, with Borussia Dortmund’s Erling Haaland and Inter’s Romelu Lukaku on their shortlist.
It remains to be seen if Chelsea are prepared to sell Abraham, who has two years left on his current deal. However Abraham’s contractual situation means this could be the best time for the club to cash in on him. Talks over a new deal have stalled since the forward broke through under Frank Lampard last season.
The Nigeria Olympic Committee in partnership with the International Olympic Committee has concluded plans to hold two-day training for sports journalist across the country.
The training will hold between April 27 and 28 and will cover courses on Print, Radio and TV, Production and Multimedia.
Speaking ahead of the training President of the Nigeria Olympic Committee (NOC), Engineer Habu Ahmed Gumel described the training as timely, noting that it is needed ahead of the Olympics, later in the year.
He said: “With few months to the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo, it is imperative to train the local media in the latest strategies in reporting a multi-sports event like the Olympics.
“COVID19 has changed how sports will be organized and reported for both athletes and the media. The training will provide insight into how sports Journalists can navigate the restrictions to keep the excitement on the sport while providing solutions.”
Three experienced media practitioners have been selected to take the participants through the latest trends in the industry.
Veteran sports broadcaster and author Deji Omotoyinbo will lead that cast that includes experienced producer, Tola Badekale and multimedia journalist, Enitan Obadina.
The major themes of the training are – Reporting Multi-Sports Event In The Digital Age: Tools and Technique. And Reporting Compelling Story Ideas that provides solution to a hurting world
The training will be both physical and online featuring participants from Lagos and outside Lagos (online). Day one of the training will hold from 9am through to 5pm while day 2 will run from 9am to 3pm.
The Ikoyi Club Children holiday clinic ended at the weekend with plenty of fanfare as Mayomide Orungbeja defeated Emmanuel Afammbolu 8/6, 7/1 in the final match of the Boys U-10 category.
In the girls’ category of the event, it was Chinyere Chukwueke who defeated Osasere Akpata 7/5, 7/2 in a match that witnessed a keenly contested first set which kept the spectators at the edge of their seats.
Top officials of the sponsors, Leadway Assurance, executive members of Ikoyi Club and many parents of the over 70 participants were at the colourful event.
The Managing Director of Leadway, Tunde Hassan-Odukale, was represented by Mr. Niyi Abiola at the finals. The MD urged the children tennis players to find a balance between education and their sports career.
In other categories, Kobi Ajene defeated Lamar BabaEko 10/6 in the Boys U -13 while Denisa Mandela – Otaru also edged out Gabriella Okoronkwo 7/2, 7/0. In the Boys U-16 cadre, Benjamin Okoronkwo was 7/5, 10/8 better than Tele Orungbeja just as Mofope Akinyemi defeated Omosofe Akpata 7/3, 7/4 in the Girls U-16 category.
The Chairman of Ikoyi Club, Ms Maryann Chukwueke, expressed delight over the clinic which started on Monday April 12 at the tennis section of the club.
UEFA and the Premier League have strongly condemned 12 major European clubs, including the ‘big six’ from England, signing up to a breakaway European Super League.
Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United and Tottenham are part of the group.
Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard lifts the trophy surrounded by celebrating team-mates after their 2005 UEFA Champions League Final victory over AC Milan.
La Liga’s Atletico Madrid, Barcelona and Real Madrid and Serie A’s AC Milan, Inter Milan and Juventus are involved.
UEFA said it will use “all measures” possible to stop the “cynical project”.
Senior figures at European football’s governing body are furious about the proposals.
None of the clubs involved have commented yet but it is thought a statement is likely to be released later last night.
BBC Sport was told last week of plans for some sort of confirmation about a European Super League.
UEFA had hoped to head off plans with a new-look 36-team Champions League set to be confirmed on Monday.
Blessing Okagbare continues her build up to Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games after running 22.66secs to finish third in the women’s 200m of the 2021 Tom Jones Memorial Invitational meet in United States.
Okagbare who represented Tumbleweed Track Club in the race finished third behind Sha’Carri Richardson and Lynna Irby who ran 22.11secs and 22.57secs to finish in first and second places respectively.
American Richardson a week after clocked 10.72secs in 100m and she continued her fine form to run 22.11 in her 200m season debut on the first day of Tom Jones Memorial Invitational at the weekend.
It is the 21-year-old’s second quickest ever time for the distance behind her PB of 22.00 set in Florida last August and saw the world U20 record-holder win the heat by almost half a second ahead of Lynna Irby with 22.57.
However, Okagbare, World and Olympic medallist was third in 22.66secsin the star-studded final.
Meanwhile, African and Commonwealth champion Akani Simbine clocked 9.99secs to win the South African 100m title in Pretoria.
“I’m glad to run another sub-10 and the key is to stay healthy,” said Simbine. “It’s another big year and I’m sticking to the main goal, which is the Tokyo Olympics.”
Olympic 400m champion and world record-holder Wayde van Niekerk returned after winning his 200m semifinal in 20.38 (-1.4m/s) to match that time to win the final (+0.1m/s), easing up on his approach to the finish line.
Terem Moffi’s scintillating first season in France’s top division has sent many tongues wagging and former Nigeria Under- 17 coach Emmanuel Amuneke has joined the bandwagon excited by his present form.
The Nigerian striker scored his 11th and 12th league goal of the season as French league one side Lorient lost to Olympique Marseille at the Stade Orange Velodrome on Saturday.
Moffi played for the Golden Eaglets in 2015 under the tutelage of Amuneke and narrowly missed out of the FIFA World-Cup winning squad in Chile.
“I am happy for him and I hope he can achieve all he wishes for in the game. I have been following his progress for some time now,” the former Barcelona winger told NationSports.”He is among the top Nigeria strikers at the moment alongside the likes of Victor Osimhen and Paul Onuachu and is in the list of players that I have seen that would be relevant for the Super Eagles in the coming years.”
The former Tanzania national team manager also expressed his delight seeing some of his fledglings light up the different leagues they ply their trade, becoming key players for their teams.
Samuel Chukwueze, Kelechi Iheanacho and Victor Osimhen are some of the present crop of young stars that at one point in their budding careers played under the former Zamalek star.
“It gives me joy to see these players developing and growing,” Amuneke said.
“It is very important that we have these players that we develop doing very well and becoming key players in their various teams.”
“I think it shows that the future of the game is bright and everything depends on how we manage these young talents to get the best out of them,” he added.
Efe Apochi only needed just over three rounds to knock out previously unbeaten Deon Nicholson and win the World Boxing Association (WBA) Cruiserweight title eliminator at Shrine Auditorium & Expo Hall in Los Angeles, scoring two knockdowns during the fight.
With the victory, Apochi has positioned himself as the mandatory challenger for WBA titleholder Arsen Goulamirian (26-0, 18 KOs) of France and the 2014 Commonwealth Games bronze medalist is calling for the title shot.
“This is an eliminator, where is the title?” Apochi asked after the fight. “Bring it on, I want the strap.”
Apochi, who moves to a perfect 11-0 with eleven knockouts, believes he can only get better as he continues to fight, adding that his confidence in the ring has always been there before he started boxing.
“I was a street fighter before I became a boxer, all my life has been fighting,” Apochi said
“The confidence is just there, it is inbuilt, I hear people saying ‘he is building his confidence’ and I say no! I was a born fighter and the confidence has been there all my life. I just get better with every fight.”
“I see the transformation from my first fight and I know I can only get better,” He added.
Promise Amukamara, is confident of D’Tigress ‘ chances at the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games.
The point guard believes the team can impress courtesy of right personnel selection and better preparation despite the quality of their group B opponents.
Amukamara is upbeat with many high profile players queening up for Nigeria in the wake of back-to -back Afrobasket titles as well as quarter finals finish at the World Cup and a rising profile on the international stage.
“Elizabeth (Williams), Erica (Ogwumike), Amy (Okonkwo), Nicole (Enabosi) and Oderah (Chidom), I think they did a great job adapting to our system which looks good,” she said about initial the five new faces invited to camp in Atlanta.
Reminiscing on the 10 day- camp for the team in Atlanta earlier this year, the Charnay Basketball Club of France player said the exercise provided the players an opportunity to come together as a unit after a while due to the COVID-19.
She said of the Atlanta camping: “We focused on getting a lot of shots. We went over our offense and defense. I think it was just a great time to come together because we haven’t seen each other since February 2020. So, it was a good time to come together, get familiar with the new players and the new coaching staff.
As pundits profile the 12 teams who have qualified for the games, the 2019 Afrobasket winner admitted that they have some solid opponents to face
“With the experience, the new players and team that we have, Coach Otis and the rest of the coaching staff will do a great job preparing us to do well,” she noted.
Nigeria is currently grouped alongside World number one- United States of America, France and Japan.
