Grace Filani might be successful in her current endeavours at the moment but it wasn’t all a rosy story from the beginning.
She shares her inspiring life story with iGEN NEWS.
Born into a middle-class family in Ekiti State, Grace’s early life was marred by financial struggles and emotional turmoil. Her family’s financial mismanagement led to a period of homelessness, forcing her to squat in places possible.
This experience not only affected Grace and her siblings academic performance but also left an indelible mark on Grace’s psyche.
As a child, Grace endured emotional and environmental abuse, which cultivated a deep-seated sense of shame, guilt, and low self-esteem. The constant barrage of negative messages convinced her that she was worthless and destined for failure. Bullying further reinforced this narrative, leaving Grace feeling like an outcast.
“Growing up, my family didn’t celebrate birthdays or Christmas. My dad didn’t believe in these celebrations. I come from a middle-class family, but we struggled due to financial mismanagement. There was a period when my siblings and I didn’t attend school for two years, affecting our academic performance.
“In the darkest corners of my childhood, where the shadows of trauma and pain lingered. As a child, I was emotionally and environmentally abused, leaving me with emotional scars that would take years to heal. The shame, guilt, and low self-esteem that followed me into adulthood made me feel like I was walking through life with a heavy burden.
“The bullying I endured throughout my life only reinforced this negative narrative. I was constantly told that I was worthless, that I didn’t fit in, and that I was destined for failure. I internalised these messages, convincing myself that I deserved to be mistreated.”
Despite these challenges, 27-year-old Grace’s innate resilience and determination propelled her forward.
As a current graduate of Mass communication from University of Houdegbe, Grace said she built a brand at 22 while still in school, leveraging her entrepreneurial spirit to create a laundry service. Although the initial response was lukewarm, Grace said her persistence eventually paid off, and her business started to flourish.
“At 22, I built a brand in school. It was going well, and this was after years of squatting like a homeless dog. I started working for some boys, gathering money together to pay for a shared apartment. Money was never enough for me.
“One day, while my roommate went home for the holiday, I stayed back because I couldn’t go home to poverty. I was broke one hot afternoon, and I dressed up, went out with the decision in mind to tell all that cared to listen, especially in the student area, that I owned a laundry service.
“For a week, I got no orders, and I was down, looking for another means. Mind you, I barely ate, except for days my neighbor, who also didn’t go home and had a rich boyfriend, would bring food to me.
“The following week, a male friend I had just met was the first to patronize me, and he did consistently for the whole week. While I was going to visit him in his hotel room, some men (young men) overheard me telling the receptionist that his order was ready. They called me as I was about to leave and asked what I delivered. I said I owned a laundry service.
“Mind you, I didn’t have a washing machine or solid equipment, but they didn’t need to know that. I even did express laundry because the weather in Cotonou was favorable, and my apartment was on a beautiful rooftop, so the wind and sun were intense, plus it was close to a beach”, she said.
However, her journey was not without its setbacks. She faced numerous trials, including tumultuous relationships, scams, and financial setbacks.
“It was around this time I met one of my customers who turned into a boyfriend, and he stopped paying for my services. Mumu me, I didn’t mind. Soon later, he started cheating on me, and I lost my mind.
“One day, he came with his friend to confront me on why I no longer washed his clothes or if I thought he wouldn’t eventually pay me. I was livid, and he said the reason for his actions was because people called me by different names on a personal level. I remember almost throwing him off the rails at the rooftop.
“It took my neighbor downstairs and the landlord to pull me away that day. School had resumed by this time, and yes, we had a landlord who lived in the same compound. We broke up, and in heartbreak, I had to continue working like nothing happened, and when I retired at night, I cried myself to sleep.”
These experiences pushed her to the brink of despair, and she contemplated suicide.
“Should I talk about getting sent out for not completing my fee, and earning the nickname of “customer” from my course mates? Or the time I was given a carry-over coz I wouldn’t pay? Or sneaking out of my exam hall to avoid being checked, and the moment they stepped out, I snuck back in, escaping getting sent out or looking for seniors who don’t need some of their outfits and having them dash me?! Or how people avoided me because I beg or ask for help a lot!
“It is a lot, but did I give up? No! Did I take a break? Yes! Did I have suicidal thoughts? Oh, yes! Did I act on it? Oh, yes, but dying was harder than living! Did depression become my good friend?! Oh, you bet!”, she said.
Speaking further, Grace said one of the most significant challenges she faced was her experience with church hurt. She was banned from her former church after years of dedication and hard work, leaving her feeling rejected and scarred. However, this setback ultimately led her to a new church, where she found healing, support, and a renewed sense of purpose.
“Should we talk about church hurt? Worse than a relationship break-up! I got banned from my former church after years of sacrifices, and painstaking work! I felt rejected by God and scared. I cried, and each tear, my heart constrained!
“Then my mom took me to a new church! I had been there a couple of times, but that’s where I started finding my healing and my sanity, and open-doors. When I started attending, I didn’t talk, greet, or smile at anyone; I was dead in and out, but the founder, Mrs. Funmilola Thomas Arike, would always engage me in conversation, put me on church arrest to avoid being alone, and mixed me with my mates, so I could slowly come out of a dark place.
Grace’s life took a significant turn when she met God, and her faith became a source of strength and transformation.
“She will ask me to lead prayer; imagine someone with no spark leading prayer, but that big step broke me from the devil’s grip, and I started admitting traumas over the years, and slowly accepting help and healing,” she said.
She began to realise that she deserved love, care, and respect, and that her past experiences did not define her worth. This newfound understanding empowered Grace to find her voice, assert herself, and overcome the fear of rejection.
“I met God, and slowly, my life began to transform. It wasn’t a magical solution, but rather a slow and intentional process of healing and growth. I began to realise that I didn’t deserve to be mistreated, that I was worthy of love, care, and respect,” she said.
Today, Grace stands as a beacon of hope and inspiration. She emerged the winner of the first season of Empire Villa Reality TV show and has become a role model for young girls, demonstrating that with determination and hard work, they can overcome any obstacle and achieve their dreams.
