Medinat Kanabe takes a look at cases of parental punishment and discipline gone extreme, including outright child abuse and neglect, and the place of the law in such matters.
THE one who spares his rod hates his child but the one who loves his child is diligent in disciplining him.” So says a verse in the book of Proverb. Even the Muslims have a verse that testifies to this culture in their holy book. It is therefore not surprising that Nigerians have largely embraced corporal punishment in their homes, aka disciplining the child. But just how far can one go? Recent news hitting the waves have shown increased cases of extreme child brutality in the name of discipline, highlighting seemingly the helplessness of some children in the hands of their parents or guardians.
Take for instance the case of four-year old M.K, a victim of a broken home. His father Sikiru Mustapha popularly known as T.K had separated from his mother even before he turned one, as a result of T.K’s incessant battering of his wife. As young as M. K was, his mother was forbidden from taking him along, thereby depriving the infant boy of that vital motherly love. Before he turned two, his father married another woman, but rather than usher in better days for the little boy, his new mother, Bukky and his father combined to unleash violence on him, turning him into a punching bag in the process. They poured out their frustrations on him and inflicted all sorts of injury on the little boy.
T.K and his family lived at 4, Pedro Street, Iwaya. They shared a room with about six other men with whom his father smoked marijuana.
Two years later, M.K was enrolled at a community school near his home, Ahmadiyyah Nursery and Primary school. But even from his first day, his vulnerability began to show, as his step-mother waited until 3.30pm before going to pick him, as against the official closing hour of 1.00pm. By that time, the poor boy had become tired, hungry and had even defecated in his pants.
Said a food vendor in the boy’s school, “I heard her saying she would kill him that day. She said he didn’t know how to wash his cloths yet could soil them. She started to hit him right here and promised to deal with him when they got home. I pleaded on his behalf but she didn’t pay any attention to me.”
The following day, she said the little boy came to school looking really pale and dressed in a long-sleeve shirt. Again, he defecated in his pants. This caught the attention of his teacher who decided to clean him up.
Said the teacher: “As we removed his cloths to clean him up, we noticed his back. It was full of fresh cane injuries and looking really bad. When we asked who did it to him, he said his daddy. We asked him if he had eaten that morning, he also said no. So we prepared tea for him; but as he drank, he began to throw up. We then took him to Iwaya Primary Health Care Centre where he was attended to.”
Fortunately, a Non-Governmental Organisation, Human Development Initiative, HDI headed by Prof Bolaji Owasonye took up his case and informed Mrs. Clara Ibirogba, Director of Citizens’ Rights of the Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team, DSVRT, an organisation set up to provide a coordinated response to issues relating to sexual and gender-based violence in the state.
The Nigerian Police was also duly informed and the boy and his father were taken to Iwaya Police Station, in company of a representative of the NGO. Thereafter the father, upon the intervention of the Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team, DSVRT was duly arrested.
Another horrific case of extreme parental discipline and child abuse would be that of 16-year-old, Lekan Isiaka, who was reportedly physically abused by his father for about two years. Tunde and his auto-painter father lived at Ile Ibadan area of Ijegun, Lagos State. This time, it was the neighbours who alerted child rights activists after he started having seizures following frequent beating from his dad and it became apparent that the poor boy might lose his life.
Neighbours say anybody who didn’t know the boy’s history would think he was an imbecile or born with some kind of disability. At the moment, Lekan is going through both physical and emotional trauma. He has almost lost the use of his left arm, as he can no longer lift it; and his neck is also not spared, as it is now bent crookedly. Even his speech power is affected he now speaks with difficulty.
Lekan explained to reporters that his father beat him one night so badly and pushed him down from the top floor of their two-storey residence. He said after he landed on the ground, his neck became very painful and he could not move his head. “I also could not move my left arm. My father did not take me to the hospital after he noticed the injury; instead he said the injury would heal. It is over a year now and I still cannot move my neck fully. I can only turn it to either side a little, and it is very painful at the moment. But this left arm, I cannot move at all.”
Explaining how wicked his father can get, he said sometimes, when he gets angry, he would beat him with the buckle of a belt or knock his head with a stone he kept in the house.
A resident, who followed Esther Child Rights Foundation officials to report the case at the Isheri Police Division, further explained that it got so bad sometimes that blood gushed out of the boy’s head after such beating.
“My husband had to threaten him with police arrest at a point when the beating got too much. There was a day he beat the boy so hard with a belt that the hook injured his head and other parts of his body and I had to seize the belt from him,” the woman said.
Lekan, whose case is almost similar to M.K’s in that both fathers smoke marijuana and have separated from their wives, said his father, most times after smoking marijuana, would in the middle of the night tell him to get up from the bed and face the wall throughout the night as punishment, while he slept.
Now remarried, Lekan’s mother, who now lives in Ibadan, separated from the father when he was seven, although he lived with her until two years ago.
Another resident said “When the mother brought him, he was a radiant boy, normal and there was nothing like seizures. His father said his ex-wife’s mother-in-law in Ibadan told him to return the boy to his father, if she wanted to keep her marriage. Lekan was fine, playful and friendly, but the beating started and the boy has almost become an imbecile just two years after.
“There was a time the man left the boy alone at home for a whole month. We did not know where he went or when he was coming back, so we took it the responsibility of feeding him, so he wouldn’t starve to death.”
Lekan now cannot speak for long and whenever questions were too many, he becomes confused and simply keeps quiet, looking glumly. Often times, he takes his time to answer a question. But neighbours say he wasn’t like that before.
Lekan revealed that his father would sometimes send him to buy cigarette, alchoholic drinks, and sometimes marijuana, despite his current disability, and that “He always screamed at me to wash his clothes before he came back from work. He usually left N20 for me for the day’s feeding, while leaving for work. Sometimes, he left nothing.”
Another resident said the father would sometimes threaten to kill him and throw him in a refuse compactor truck.
A father’s denial
His father on the other hand denied knowledge of the boy’s condition when he was arrested. He said “He is not okay mentally. I only beat him once in a while when he bed-wets. His mother dumped him with me two years ago, but he already had the neck and arm injury when he was brought to me.”
Asked if he ever took the boy to a hospital for treatment or sought any other form of treatment for his injuries, he simply kept quiet.
Thankfully, the Esther Child Rights Foundation said the boy’s case would be treated like a medical emergency, since he obviously needs urgent medical attention.
Visit to M.K’s former abode
Back to MK’s story. When The Nation visited Mr Mustapha’s house, all his neighbours had moved out, except for one, who spoke on conditions of anonymity.
He said “My sister, people don’t seem to know the value of a child. But my prayer has always been that God would get these people one day. About two months ago, they beat this boy to the extent that he fainted and was rushed to a hospital. He was revived the next day.”
He said: “We are all packing out of the house because the landlady said she wants to use her house. So even they have moved to Abete, not far from here.
“The boys in that room just broke in and have been staying here for years, I know that because I was here when they moved in and they do all sorts of things in the room in the presence of that boy, including bringing girls in for sex and smoking marijuana.
“I know the boy’s mother very well; her own mother sells fruits at Ojelabi Awolowo Street close to the University of Lagos. I heard she is now married to another man and lives in Ikorodu, but she still comes to see her mother. You see, it is that new woman, Bukky that has been beating the child and my wife has advised me not to interfere again because the last time I told her to stop dumping refuse in the gutters, her husband broke my mouth.”
Asked why he never reported to the police in the two years that the abuse was going on, he said he was scared of Sikiru. “Even the other neighbours couldn’t interfere because they were scared of him.”
A visit to M.K’s school
At M.K’s school, the teachers were very happy to see this reporter and wanted to know how the boy was faring. They asked so many questions at the same time and pleaded that the government never allow the boy to return to his father, because he has suffered a lot in his hands.
One of them said: “My sister, nothing is wrong with that boy. He is very smart. When he first came, I asked him questions and he responded very well, I can’t wait for him to resume and join us again.
“His father brought him to resume after paying part of the school fees. We have not even given him his school uniform before the incident. It was on his second day that we noticed the marks on his body.
“I cried when I saw his body because the boy is just too small. He doesn’t even look his age because of malnutrition. This is what broken homes cause. I saw the new wife; she came here all dressed up and painted like a masquerade. I asked why she beat the boy so badly and she said the boy defecates in his pants even when he cannot wash his cloths.”
A Psychologist’s view
A Clinical Psychologist, Dr Leonard Okonkwo who spoke to The Nation said child abuse, beating; punishment can be looked at from different categories.
According to him, discipline of a child by a parent would naturally not be seen as child abuse except if it goes to the extreme. “When it is discipline, the motive is usually to correct the child. It is usually not supposed to be done in anger. You can be unhappy about what a child has done but you should not allow your emotion take over because you will discipline out of proportion.”
Punishment, Dr. Okonkwo explained, is a tool for correction or behavioural modification. “More and more studies are however coming up to show that it is better to use other means for correcting than beating because beating has the tendency to condition some things in a child that a parent does not want.
He said these conditions include anxiety, aggression, fear and stubbornness, which are negative emotions that parents don’t want to condition in their children.
“When beating a child for correction, the intensity does not have to be much. I don’t want to say that it is wrong for a parent to beat a child because I will be going against the bible, as the bible says ‘spare the rod and spoil the child,’ but every parent should mind how they beat their children.”
He said when a parent beats a child out of anger, his emotions takes over and he does not even know when to stop until he satisfies that emotion. “And that is when the child gets injured. So any parent that is doing that has gone beyond discipline, it has become child abuse or revenge.”
Impact on the child
Dr Okonkwo is of the opinion that such extreme discipline on a child will condition some negative emotions in that child. He is likely to grow up with low self- esteem, phobia and anxiety disorder. He may have fear and phobia as he grows up. He may have that fear and not understand the cause of the irrational fear until an expert or professional traces it back to what the child had gone through.
The child may also grow up to be aggressive because he feels that is the way to display emotions. Even when he is playing, he is aggressive; when he is angry, he is also aggressive.
On what may be wrong with the adult?
“Definitely that adult has a problem and needs some counselling. Beating a child out of anger, emotion or revenge is very wrong. Children are not adults, they don’t do things or think like adults, so if you are expecting a child to think or behave like you, then you have a problem. That father has a psychological problem and needs professional help. If you look at that man very well, you would find out that he is also a wife beater. He may also be aggressive in other areas and may be an irritable personality even at work.
Helping the child
First of all we will have to carry out an assessment to know what and what has gone wrong or what effect the maltreatment has had on the child. Psychotherapy and other healing methods can be used or behaviour modification. Punishment is a behaviour modification principle which is based on learning theory and one of the procedures we use for undoing such things is reverse based on the learning theory. We undo or desensitise what has been done to the child.
We also have other psychotherapy and other counselling. In some cases, we use hypnotherapy.
Lagos State government’s position
The Coordinator, Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team, Dr Lola Vivoh Adeniyi, said Lagos State has a child rights law that ultimately protects the interest of the child. “We also have the mandated reporting policy, which is an executive order by the former governor that all persons employed by the government that have dealings with children must report possible cases of child abuse.
“A mandated reporter includes teachers, social workers, school administrators, and health officials. That is the most recent way we try to address this child abuse, neglect, and maltreatment. As a lawyer I know that this is a grievous harm. It is not just about the child when it comes to the law. It is somebody and we have several positions in the criminal law of justice. The punishment is up to seven years.”
She said: “In June alone, we have rescued 10 children. When these children are first brought to us, they were in a very bad state. M.K for instance had marks of cane inflicted on his body. There was another one at Oke-Odo area in Lagos State; an 11 year-old boy who lived with his guardian. We have taken custody of him now. The guardian cut both his palms open and put pepper in them. And when she put the pepper for extra effect, the boy passed out.”
Continuing, Dr Adeniyi said “There are so many cases like that. There is one where the father used hot iron to design the girl’s body. All sort of atrocities are being committed by parents and guardians.
“I appreciate the fact that Nigerians are generally frustrated and sometimes carry it out on children or vulnerable people that cannot respond, but generally there is a culture of impunity where people think they can do things and get away with it. But by God’s grace, with the existence of this team and our collaboration with respective agencies, we will get to know about these people and we will make sure that the cases are duly prosecuted, and we will make a lot of noise about it to serve as a deterrent to guardians or parents or foster parents that want to embark on such criminal act to desist or know that they will face the law.”
Explaining that a combination of many things can make people treat children badly, she said “Some people are just generally wicked; they are frustrated or they do it because they think they can get away with it; so I think that is what I find when we are treating these cases.
It takes a community to train a child
In the past, everyone had the duty to train a child, no matter whose child it was or what home the child came from, but as time went by things began to change. People began to mind their businesses so much and the language became ‘this child doesn’t have good home training.’
“Although M.Ks neighbours finally reported his case to the police, two years had already gone by. A harm of two years had already been done.
Responding to this, Dr Adeniyi said this is true. “Back in the days, we knew who our neighbours were, but unfortunately it is no longer same. People just want to keep to themselves, but what we want everybody to know is that they are mandated to report. You just don’t know, you might be saving someone’s life.
“Although there is also the fear that if they go to the police, they may not respond well, or that they may be asked to bring money for the investigation, all the agencies should be well prepared, well trained and passionate about these issues. Then more neighbours will be willing to come forward and report their neighbours and a friend can come out and say ‘my friend was raped can u guarantee that her name of image will not be leaked?’ If we put these measures in place, then we can now really encourage people to do the right thing.
“That is why it is important for the public to know the different services that are available,” she said.
Asked what is been done to make sure the police step in to take up these cases, she said “There is already a change on the part of the police. Yes it may just be a few police officers that are doing the right thing, but we should acknowledge it. We are not yet there but I am aware that there are some police officers who would not say ‘this is a private or family matter’ but take it up. M.K’s case was reported at the Sabo Yaba Police Station and it was taken up. The police are trying but they have to do more.”
On her part, Chibogu Obinwa, Civil Society Coordinator for Justice for All said “Any form of maltreatment is an abuse and against the law. There is a domestic violence law in Lagos state. The child should be taken out of the abusive home.”
