The Nation Newspaper

Category: Sunday

  • Death and decomposition in the university

    Death and decomposition in the university

    The odour of death and decomposition permeates our entire university system. The smell of chrysanthemum, the flower of death, mixes freely with the wild fragrance of unkempt bushes on once beautiful campuses. It is an appropriate reflection or nasal refraction of this postcolonial polity which now reminds one of the perfumed putrescence of kept corpses if not the foul stench of the living dead.

    One has so far refrained from weighing in on the ASUU/ FG imbroglio. This is because one is deeply distressed by conduct on both sides. A month before the face-off, this columnist, in a once in a blue moon widely referenced interview with Channels Television, had warned about the imminent collapse of the university system, urging the staff to embark on critical self-interrogation and institutional retrieval while asking the government to do the needful. That will be the day.

    Two developments led to this current intervention. First was a brief off the chance telephone conversation with Pa Dr Michael Omolayole, the distinguished industrialist, veteran technocrat and exemplary public servant. The ninety six year old titan lamented the progressive decay and corruption in the public sector which is exemplified by the protracted industrial dispute between ASUU and the federal authorities.

    According to him, it was unthinkable in an earlier era that ASUU would go on a strike for more than a week without the entire nation quaking with consequences. The old man aligned with the columnist in bemoaning the sharp deterioration and decay of the entire university system which has resulted in the collapse of standardization and quality control and a proliferating professoriate which is only a national and global laughing stock.

    In Pa Omolayole’s time, no British or American university would dare scorn a locally produced Nigeria professor or even lecturer. Nigerian academics could hold their own anywhere in the world. This is because they have been put through their pace and have gone through the grueling grind of arduous initiation. Snooper cited the example of a certain Christopher Heywood who was a visiting professor and head of the Department of English at the then University of Ife in the sixties.

    When Heywood returned to his native Department of English at the prestigious University of Sheffield, England, he reverted to his substantive post as a Senior Lecturer in the Department. This was the same department that threw up the great Sir William Empson, aka Empson of the seven types of ambiguity, arguably the most influential English literary critic of his age.

    A decade and half later when yours sincerely, as a visiting graduate scholar in the same department, caught up with the selfsame Christopher Heywood, the lordly and imperious specialist of African Literature was still manning his post as a Senior Lecturer. After the first seminar, Christopher Heywood pulled one aside and told yours sincerely that he had nothing to teach him. Heywood promptly recommended that one should be made a Honorary Visiting Lecturer in the famous department. This was while still technically an Assistant Lecturer back at Ife.

    The second development is even more horrifying. In the past one week one has received terrible reports of death and decomposition from Ife. First was Oko Atai, our former student who was a professor in the Department of Theatre Arts in the university. From all accounts, Oko had been dead for several days before his decomposing remains were discovered by curious sympathizers. Like all artists, the late talented playwright had his eccentricities and was living alone in a cavernous mansion.

    Together with our friend Chidi Amuta who was later to leave for the University of Port-Harcourt, yours sincerely had taught Oko, Politics and Ideology in African Literature as a final year student in 1980/81 session. Both of us, Amuta and oneself, were still Assistant Lecturers.

    The two senior people on the course were the then Dr Biodun Jeyifo and Dr Desmond Hamlett, a conservative Guyanese-born scholar, who famously and presciently proclaimed in the course of a fierce exchange with his Marxist interlocutors that “…after all revolutions do revolve”. Up till this moment and forty years after, the eardrums still burst with the thunderous artillery of countervailing ideologies.

    Read Also: Still on the protracted ASUU strike

    But if by some gruesome irony Oko Atai could be considered lucky, not so Professor Odebode, a retired professor of Geology, whose bones were found on his bed about a year and half after his death on the outskirts of the town. He was living alone without any family or siblings. If one’s memory serves him right, several decades earlier, Professor Ola Rotimi body was also discovered on the floor of his living room. He was apparently crawling towards his medication in the dead of the night.

    Let these grisly discoveries contextualize the current ghastly conditions of our university system. It is a vast decaying morgue of the dead, the dying and the barely alive. It has been long in coming. Only the stone-deaf and the pitiably sightless would not have experienced the progressive decay of our university system over the decades.

    This is no longer the globally acclaimed sanctuary of higher knowledge production bequeathed to us by our ancestors and the legendary visionaries who pioneered the university system in Nigeria. The Obafemi Awolowo University is still widely acknowledged as one of the most vibrant institutions in the nation. But if H.A Oluwasanmi, aka High Altitude, were to come back, he would have broken down in tears.

    Let us not mince words or equivocate. In the symbiotic malevolence associated with dysfunctional societies, ASUU and the entire university system have also contributed to the national rot and decay. Most of the best and the brightest have long fled. Depleted of its intellectual arsenal and the wisdom of the old academic protectorate that would have risen in umbrage, ASUU could only resort to the relentless weaponization of the strike option to combat the deepening siege against education.

    There are two worrisome consequences of this reflex resort to what should normally be a weapon of last resort. First, it accelerates the erosion of public sympathy for ASUU in its legitimate struggle for better funding of the education sector, whatever that is now worth.

    A distraught and disoriented public battered by kleptocratic assault on its sensibility no longer cares about how it is done as long as its wards are in school, pretending to learn while teachers are pretending to teach them. The universities are regarded as mere warehouses and havens from the increasing brutalization of the society.

    The second consequence of the protracted industrial dispute is that it has made ASUU to look like a Rip Van Winkle stirring from a prolonged catatonic stupor. If the stalling and stonewalling authorities manage to turn the tide of public opinion against it, ASUU may find itself cast in the mold of a postcolonial incarnation of Arthur Scargill and the ancient British miners’ union before Margaret Thatcher delivered the killer blow.

    Couched in the mantra of “national interest”, the ruling by the Industrial Court that the striking lecturers should return to work is an unenforceable order reminiscent of the despotic writs of military tyrannies. Rather than douse the tension, it can only serve to further inflame aroused passions. ASUU has already crossed a particular bridge and no amount of threat or intimidation is likely to force it to retreat. No matter the outcome of its appeal at the Industrial Court, the teachers are unlikely to budge.

    It would appear that in its haste and panic to get the students to return to the campuses because of the fear of having them turn into equal opportunity disruptors as the electoral cycle approaches, the government is liable to commit more strategic errors. One would have thought that a strategically minded government truly anxious to put this nasty face-off behind us would have seized the opportunity of the industrial sledgehammer by cutting ASUU some slack.

    It could have followed swiftly by offering ASUU some softeners and sweeteners. For example, it could have relented on its threat to withhold salaries and emoluments for the period of the strike. This could have been followed by a promise to raise a powerful neutral team to examine the grievances of the university teachers in the context of national economic decline provided they return to work immediately.

    The government appears to be tired, disoriented and completely bereft of workable solutions to the dire emergency facing the nation in the educational sector. In the current global ranking no public sector university in the country made the rank of the first thousand. Yet there was a time when the College of Medicine in Ibadan was adjudged as being one of the ranking medical institutions in the entire Commonwealth.

    At a point in the seventies and eighties, the Health Sciences and Pharmacy complex at the then University of Ife boasted of at least five potential Nobel laureates in their various fields conducting original, ground-breaking research. But soon thereafter, they all fled the rapidly encircling academic holocaust induced by military predation in all its annihilating prospects.

    On the road to Rasputin-like academic mystification and jujunization, the national superintending authorities of the university system came up with the idea that it was time to produce multiple Nobel laureates in various fields within the shortest possible time frame. In the benumbing inanity of it all, it did not occur to them that they were putting the cart before the horse and that you need to induce massively funded original cutting edge research first.

    But they were undaunted by the daunting prospects. They even imported from America a mountebank and academic charlatan of Nigerian extraction to come and lecture on how to go about it. But shortly thereafter, the crank received his long due comeuppance in the American system and was never heard of again. Almost two decades later, so much for Alfred Nobel and his laureates.

    As it is at the moment, and if a way is not immediately found out of the ASUU imbroglio, the fate of apocalyptic social and political disruption that the authorities fear most from restive students and the hordes of the unemployed unleashing murder and mayhem on the society will overtake the nation much sooner than later.

    It may well be that the government has decided to pass on the problems of ASUU to the incoming administration. If that is the case, and with six potentially turbulent months to go, it may well be a bridge too far. But if our legendary luck manages to hold, it behooves on all the leading presidential candidates to begin work on a comprehensive blueprint to rescue Nigeria from the jaws of educational collapse.

    Let us end this piece with a bittersweet anecdote. Sometimes in 1991, yours sincerely was summoned to the campus residence of Akinwunmi Isola, the great Yoruba novelist, raconteur and dramatist. Isola wasted no time in announcing his immediate retirement from the university system. When he was asked the reason for this apparently precipitate decision, the notable thespian, aka Honest Man, looked wistfully at the darkening sky and then opened up.

    “You see, I can no longer see my friends and peers in the system. I cannot see Olabiyi Yai, I cannot see Sope Oyelaran, I cannot see Wande Abimbola and Bade Ajuwon is about to leave too. You see when you tarry too long on a mound of fecal matter you are likely to play host to a swarm of monstrous flies.”

    A rather dispirited snooper asked him whether this was the end of the great Nigerian university system as we know it. The urbane, circumspect Yoruba cognoscenti quietly demurred. “No, no, no!! You see it is like a column of ants in an orderly procession suddenly disrupted by a big splash. Very soon you will see the column reassembling again and resuming its orderly march.”

    May our universities find the strength and spirit to resume the orderly procession.

  • Worthless certificates?

    Worthless certificates?

    Remaining jobless for years after graduation can be very traumatic. I can imagine how hard it is for many graduates who have had to endure all kinds of hardships despite all the amount their parents spent on their fees while in higher institutions and the duration for acquiring the certificates that have not gotten them their dream jobs.

    Even as far back as 1986 when I completed my national youth service, it took me almost a year to get the kind of job I wanted.

    In my desperation to get a job, I reluctantly accepted a reporter’s job at a magazine I would normally like to work for until I eventually got hired at The Punch after taking one recommendation note after the other to various organizations.

    While many graduates of today would want to think not getting a job as easily as they expect is a new thing, it’s definitely not despite stories of the good old days like companies coming to institutions to conduct employment interviews for graduating students.

    Even for many who are employed, the salaries they are paid, when they get paid are meagre and not enough for them to cope with various obligations.

    Many have had to resort to becoming entrepreneurs in businesses not related to their course of study.

    Unfortunately, the ‘terms and conditions of the certificates issued by institutions do not include that they will get the kinds of jobs they desire within a period.

    Although he claimed that his alleged move to return his degree certificate to the Ladoke Akintola University of Technology (LAUTECH) was not a social media stunt, Osunleke Alaba, a graduate of Agricultural Extension sure knows what he wanted to achieve.

    Read Also; Mixed reactions trail LAUTECH’s graduate’s return of certificate

    It was his own dramatic way, based on his entertainment skills, to draw attention to his pitiable state of lack of viable employment since graduating in 2015.

    Contrary to the impression that the certificate he got from LAUTECH has not been valuable to him in any way, he has owned a farming business which he had to give up due to cows destroying the farm and also tried selling animal skins before opting to utilize his entertainment skills.

    Though he has not been as successful as he expects, like many other graduates in the country, returning the certificate is a joke carried too far. Many of his other classmates and graduates of LAUTECH have been employed with their certificates and engaged in successful endeavours.

    His expectations are legitimate, but he didn’t need to over-dramatise his situation and make it seem that he didn’t learn anything during the years he spent in LAUTECH. University education is not only for getting jobs, it is to acquire valuable knowledge and experience that could be utilised in any area of endeavours or living.

    The nation’s economy and various policies are to be blamed for the high rate of employment in the country and not only the educational institutions.

    What I would however admit is that universities and other high institutions’ education can be richer in content and knowledge to make it worth the time and expenses. Knowing the situation outside the ivory towers, students should be adequately prepared for the reality that awaits them at graduation.

    Their expectations should not be unnecessarily raised about opportunities available to them. They need to know that there are not enough jobs to go around the increasing number of graduates from higher institutions.

    More than ever before, the curriculum for various courses should be reviewed in line with new developments in the sectors they want to enter for them to fit in.

    Entrepreneur courses should be given more than passing attention as it is in many institutions.

    My son who read History and is today a fashion entrepreneur told me that the problem with the entrepreneur course he took was that it was taught by teachers who have not been entrepreneurs and do not knows what it takes to be one.

    I fully agree with him and one way of making his suggestion possible is fully integrating experienced professionals in teaching practical aspects of courses and skills instead of just inviting them to speak for a few hours.

    Someone once said that one of the ways to ensure employment for new graduates is for them and experienced professionals to create new jobs that do not exist irrespective of the certificates obtained.

  • The editors’ editor

    The editors’ editor

    I have had cause to celebrate The Punch at every of its major landmark ceremonies, including its 25th anniversary as well as during the opening of its magnificent headquarters, The Punch Place, sitting majestically and conspicuously at Magboro, Ogun State, on the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway. I know why.

    But today, I want to join others in celebrating a man whose editorship of the popular tabloid would for long be remembered, especially by those of us who had cause to cross his path at The Punch. A man that many journalists regard as a thoroughbred, with a nose for news and a specialist in headline casting. I am talking about Alhaji Najeem Akanni Jimoh, who turned 70 on September 14.

    It would be sheer ingratitude for someone like myself who was able to secure a job at The Punch in 1985 despite the fact that I did not know anybody there. I would explain. At the time, unemployment had started to rear its ugly head in the country; just that never in our wildest imaginations could we ever have thought it would become a monster that it has become today. No thanks to the curse of bad leadership.

    I looked forward to what I can call the D-Day when I received the letter of interview. I remembered how the joy in our hearts knew no bounds when myself and a friend, Olumide Awogbemila, received the letters, with the intimidating logo of The Punch. It was a privilege. Awogbemila and I were then living at Ebute-Metta area of Lagos, indeed just about seven minutes trekking distance apart.

    At last, the day of interview came. But what we were confronted with at The Punch was not just an interview; it was an examination. We arrived the company early in the morning and were there till late in the evening. Despite the irregular payment of salaries that hallmarked the paper then, (I think) about 44 of us sat for the examination. I remember this because I know that those who did not succeed were asked to leave in batches of 10. Whenever the harbinger of what passed for both good and bad news then, Jide Kutelu, of blessed memory came to announce the result, our adrenalin naturally rose. It was good news for those of us who were able to make it finally but bad news for those who were dropped at every turn. That was the way it was on the three or four occasions that Kutelu came with the news.

    At the end of it all, only four of us were left in the room – Awogbemila, Ganiyu Aminu, Ganiyu Akogun and my humble self. We were all course mates at the Department of Mass Communication, University of Lagos (UNILAG). They then congratulated us and we congratulated ourselves. Now, why this long story when this piece is to eulogise Jimoh on his 70th birthday?

    The answer is simple. I had the opportunity of knowing Jimoh because of his resolve and that of the other senior journalists who decided our fate in the examination to prioritise merit. He was then deputy editor of The Punch. But then, he had tremendous influence, especially as the then editor, Nurudeen Alade Balogun (Uncle NAT, for short), of blessed memory, was a liberal editor who allowed him such latitude. I remember the anxiety of those of us who knew nobody in the system when some of our colleagues that came for the examination went into the offices of these senior colleagues and emerged with either bottles of soft drink or table water. I remember how we wondered aloud that these people needed not have wasted our time by inviting us for interview when they already had their preferred candidates. But I was somewhat confident of making it even if I did not know what informed my confidence. One of the questions I answered was to critique Decree Four promulgated by the Babangida government in 1984. I tore the decree into shreds, using the then Dr Olatunji Dare’s write-up on it in The Guardian as compass.

    But if I was so sure of what I wrote, how would I have known that others did not do better? However, it eventually turned out that the four of us who were taken knew nobody at The Punch then.

    This passes for something in a country where who you know determine what you get. And it partly explains why Nigeria is the way it is today. If The Punch is soaring, this is one of the secrets. It was this level-playing field that afforded me the opportunity of meeting Jimoh. And I cherish it a lot. I have never had any cause to regret the chance meeting.

    Let me quickly say that the fact that some of our colleagues could not join the company at that time did not confer any special brilliance to those of us who were picked. Examination, as we know, is not always a true test of one’s ability. As a matter of fact, some of them joined the newspaper later as the demand for more hands presented itself. Indeed, many of them too are doing well in their various endeavours today.

    I must particularly be grateful to Jimoh for this wonderful opportunity because the ‘eaglet’ journalist that he employed as a sub-editor in 1985 eventually rose to become editor of the daily title of the newspaper, a lifelong ambition. He was in a position to influence decision otherwise.  But he did not.

    Working under Jimoh was exciting. Some other persons who passed through his tutelage, whether at The Punch or elsewhere  – Lawal Ogienagbon, Reuben Abati, Azubuike Ishiekwene, Tunde Akanni, Mikail Adegoke Mumuni, Feyi Smith, and even a senior colleague, Tola Adeniyi, have all celebrated this easy going editor of all times, to mark his joining the septuagenarian club.

    Working under the one that we all refer to simply as ‘Alhaji’ presented many fond memories. Many have talked about his humility, they have talked about his humanity, his dedication to journalism and to the people, his simplicity and other attributes.

    As Lawal mentioned in his piece on September 14, those of us who worked in The Punch at the time we did can never forget ’90 – 10′. So, what is ’90 – 10′? It simply refers to the guguru and epa that was our regular snack in those days. As a matter of fact, hardly could any day pass without some of us placing orders for ’90 – 10′; that is 90 kobo groundnuts and 10 kobo local popcorn. Yes, you heard me right, 90 KOBO groundnuts and 10 KOBO guguru! Today, our younger ones do not know that we once talked of our currency in terms of Naira and Kobo. Many do not even know what the kobo looked like because it has become extinct. Again, no thanks to bad governance. Whoever bought the ’90 – 10′ would place it on the table and anyone interested needed no special invitation to come to partake. It was a rallying factor of sort. Even as editor, Jimoh himself would join in not only packing The Punch (‘Pack a Punch’ was once upon a time the popular slogan of the paper) but also the ’90  –  10′! We ate it like a family. But what I cannot still explain is whether we were fond of the guguru and epa because of the peculiar financial predicament of the company at the time or because of our natural love for it. I guess however that the story would have changed by now not just because of the company’s prosperity but also because of values that have changed in the country generally.

    Another incident I would not forget easily at The Punch was the day the four of us that were employed the same day decided to go on strike in protest against the delay in paying our salaries. We were all on the sub-desk, so, we did not have problems of logistics in executing the strike. We kept the plan close to our chests. On the appointed date, we edited the stories as they came, and pretended as if we were sending them down for further processing;  so, it was difficult for anyone to suspect that we had something up our sleeves. It was very late in the day that it was realised we were not sending the stories to the compugraphic department (which was the computer of the time) for processing. To show how outdated compugraphic machines have now become, even my i-pad does not know ‘compugraphic’ as it kept on underlining it! I doubt if there is any newspaper that is still using compugraphic machine in the country today.

    However, when it dawned on all that we were on work-to-rule, we were invited for talks. I remember the role Jimoh played. I think he had become editor then. How he tried to calm our frayed nerves, the sweet talks and all. But we had said nothing was going to change if our salaries were not paid and we stuck to our guns. Eventually, the accounts people were instructed to pay us and they brought our salaries in the usual brown envelopes for paying salaries in those days. Just the four of us.

    At this point, it is necessary to explain our resolve to down tools because it is not all the time that such an opportunity presents itself. Of course we knew the company was in arrears of salaries before we joined. So, non-payment of salaries should not be sufficient cause to down tools. And we had been coping until then, anyway. Moreover, the four of us were still bachelors then, and so our needs were still relatively few.

    But, we were blind to the leakages that were going on in the company when we were outside. However, now, as insiders, we were privileged to see some of the reasons things were tight for the company. We were later proved right. But, as usual with journalists, we hardly bothered about other things beyond headlines and deadlines.

    I did not know whether our type of ‘strike’ had happened in the company before, but what I know was that some of our colleagues wondered what informed our audacity.

    Perhaps more confounding was the fact that whatever some people (including the four of us who went on strike) thought would follow, never followed. This was due to the magnanimity of someone like Jimoh. Apparently his activism in his university days played a critical role in considering more the values that we were adding to the company at such hard times rather than the fresh-from-school radicalism that propelled our strike. Some editors in his shoes would have orchestrated our exit from the system before we ‘polluted’ others, whether immediately or in the near future. Although a newspaper like The Punch which rode to prominence on the crest of its clamour for a better society ought not have done such, that would have amounted to nothing in the eyes of editors who would be more anxious in pointing at the specks in the eyes of others, even when they have logs in theirs.

    It is important to stress that the sky was the limit for journalists who worked under Jimoh. There was the latitude to explore and showcase your talent. If I cast good headlines today, Jimoh was involved in shaping me in this regard. No matter how knotty a headline appeared to be, he would crack the nut. Many of the stories which made the paper to fly in its days as a pure tabloid were headlined by Jimoh, some of which incurred the wrath of the then military rulers. One such headline that readily comes into mind was “Dele Giwa bombed”, when the frontline journalist, who was editor and founder of the then vibrant Newswatch Magazine was killed by a parcel bomb on October 19, 1986. That was what happened but the Federal Government was uncomfortable with the headline and the paper’s courageous handling of the story. It therefore sued The Punch and the Late Chief Gani Fawehinmi for sedition (whatever is so called). One can go on and on.

    All said, if both Christians and Muslims are celebrating Jimoh, it is for a reason. He is at home with everybody, irrespective of creed. He builds bridges across all divides. He has a way of keeping in touch with his friends. That is why till date, he is hardly alone. When he snaps his fingers, people respond. Such is his simplicity that even when he turned 70, he did not make noise. If Jimoh were a politician, the noise that would have attended his birthday on September 14 would still be reverberating.

    Alhaji, I join others in wishing you a happy birthday. Please continue to be yourself.

  • Atiku’s ‘retrace your steps’ is the equivalent of Ayu’s ‘children’

    Atiku’s ‘retrace your steps’ is the equivalent of Ayu’s ‘children’

    There is no political will amongst Nigerian politicians to conduct a free, fair and credible election” – Femi Falana, SAN, on Channels TV,  Friday, September 23, 2023.

    Indeed.

    Apart from that, even INEC itself, despite its recent laudable improvement, can hardly be wholly trusted. Experience has shown that several of its officials deliberately compromise at elections.  But much more worrisome is its recent unbelievable poor performance which resulted in massive over voting in the results it declared in the Osun election – a lone state election –  which did a lot to diminish its reliability, amongst Nigerians.

    Chief Olabode George described Atiku Abubakar’s response to the Ayu- must – go call as disheartening.

    No, it is far worse, coming from a self – declared unifier.

    It is absolutely disrespectful of very senior members of their party.

    Symptomatic of the garrulity which saw the entire Southern Nigeria described as “our grandfather’s estate”, PDP’s presidential candidate, Alhaji Atiku Abubakar, this past week followed up in the footsteps of  party Chair, Senator Iyorcha Ayu, when he ordered the Wike group of the party, like Ayu’s ‘children’, to retrace their steps, or else …

    Forget meanwhile, that among these supposed ‘kindergartens’, being so arrogantly talked down to, are foundation party members like Chief Bode George, a former Deputy National Chairman of the party, and Professor Jerry Gana, former serial minister, not forgetting several former, and serving state governors, as well as senators, and other senior members of the party.

    Interestingly Professor Jerry Gana, ever the impeccable English speaker, had described members of his group, who want Chairman Ayu to step down before they could join the Atiku Campaign committee from which they just ousted themselves, as ‘solid men and women’, forgetting that none of them is half as solid as the “person,  in the presidency, which governor Wike told Nigerians, was already working for Atiku’s victory in 2023″. Fortunately, Wike has promised to disclose the person’s identity  at the appropriate time.

    And you can trust the governor to do just that.

    With all one  has written on these pages about the alleged plot to retain the presidency in the North, why would Atiku, Ayu, or PDP be bothered about whatever the Wike group chooses to do, or not do? They can jolly well please themselves.

    Indeed, governor Wike announced it colourfully when he put it as follows:”Atiku, Ayu arrogant because someone at the presidency promised them victory”, adding, however, that “what they don’t understand is that the same person in the presidency backed somebody as APC presidential candidate, but the person failed”. “I will tell Nigerians at the appropriate time who this person in the presidency is”, he concluded.

    Read Also; 2023: Is Atiku’s presidential bid anti-South?

    Isn’t that ‘person’, whoever he is,  far more  assuring than even a Professor Mahmood Yakubu promise, if he gave one?

    Of course, pride, they say, goes before a fall.

    Have these people forgotten that President Muhammadu Buhari has promised, even as recently as this past week at the United Nations General Assembly, to leave behind a legacy of a fair, credible and transparent election?

    So why would any party be as gullible as to disdain the source of about its surest, and highest, vote haul in the entire South – (Rivers state), given the fact that everything points to the Southeast – its traditional milch cow – as no longer keen on playing the Northern political acolyte. This being so – thanks to home boy Peter Obi, a presidential candidate on whose behalf some of his Igbo compatriots have already, via a Whatsapp video, promised to kill – they actually behead – not just kill, anybody that as much as advertises,  talk less,  of voting for – any non Igbo presidential candidate in the region.

    It must be conceded to the PDP,

    however, that a lot could still get done behind the President’s back by some powerful people who, unlike President Buhari, do not care a hoot about any legacy.

    Or isn’t it said that power is an aphrodisiac?

    After all, thanks to Sahara Reporters, it has been alleged that debts owed some people, in billions of naira, had been paid up ahead of the election.

    However, since man proposes and only God can dispose,  it will do the Atiku people a lot of good to tread softly, and be far less arrogant since it may be impossible, this time around in the North, to swell votes through children and aliens sexing up the election.

    Equally PDP should depend less on Kano, given Kwankwaso’s presence on the ballot, as well as the APC being the ruling party in the state. It thus looks like there isn’t much elbow room for PDP anywhere in the country, and that only an electoral ‘monofiki’ can give it victory.

    But Nigerians will be all eyes for any attempt to manipulate the make or mar election.

    How did PDP manage to get itself into this bind?

    This goes far back to the military influence and mentality that have always dominated it. It was for that reason that early this year, it insinuated

    the likes of IBB, Prof Ango Abdullahi and others, into its search for a consensus presidential candidate. PDP has always seen itself as being synonymous to strictly Northern interests and, hence, always externalising what should strictly be its internal affair.

    In 2010, this led to the setting up of the 17 – member, Adamu Ciroma committee for the purpose of  selecting a candidate from the quartet of Gen. Ibrahim Babangida, Alhaji Atiku Abubakar, Lt. Gen. Aliyu Gusau and Governor Bukola Saraki. This was always in the quest to retain the presidency in the North and the committees are always peopled by core Northern hegemons.

    Afterall, didnt the Northern Elders Forum (NEF)spokesperson, Dr. Hakeem Baba-Ahmed, early this year,  declare that the north is unapologetic about its desire to retain power in 2023, claiming that the presidency is its birthright and inheritance, simply because of its largely unproductive population and, mindless of the fact that President Buhari, a Northerner is the incumbent.

    Truth be told, many of these people do not see Nigeria as a country of equals, the reason a Senator Iyorcha Ayu does not feel honour bound to resign as PDP Chairman, as he had promised, in the event of  the party’s presidential candidate emerging from the North. This attitude would not have been acceptable, even if the country was largely dependent on the North for its upkeep and economic survival which, incidentally, is not the case.

    When  one hears these arrogant drivels,  you won’t but wonder as to how, or why, some people, outside the region, could still be willing, and ready, to play the slave.

    The minute, this year, when some of the

    people who were championing zoning when President Goodluck Jonathan was seeking re- election, became members of  the search party for a PDP Northern presidential candidate in the ’23 election, I knew they were up to some havoc.

    In that era, prominent Northern political leaders like  former President Babangida, former VP Atiku Abubakar, former Senate President Iyorcha Ayu – yes same Senator Ayu, former Chairman of the PDP, Chief Audu Ogbeh, Mallam Adamu Ciroma and Alhaji Bello Kirfi, as members of the Northern Political Leaders Forum were, everywhere, strongly marshalling arguments for the retention of zoning in the PDP, warning that its abandonment would have terrible consequences for the stability of, not just the party, but the polity. While arguing that its mission was not to stop President  Goodluck Jonathan, the forum claimed it was out to safeguard equity and fairness which would give all Nigerians a sense of belonging – the same equity and sense of belonging that no longer mean a thing to them today.

    On the argument that zoning is not provided for in the 1999 Constitution, they  argued that there is no section of the constitution that outlaws zoning and rotation.

    Such crass opportunism, considering that it was mostly the same people who have now just jettisoned zoning, even though a corner piece of their party’s constitution, which candidate Atiku bandies about as the obstacle to Ayu’s resignation.

    With the level of desperation being shown by some in the North to ensure that a Northerner succeeds President Buhari – no matter how immoral and unfair – it is hoped that some people will not go the extra mile of compromising the 2023 election, an eventuality that will not augur well for Nigeria.

    A Plea To Fgn and the Ogun State Government.

    I received the mail below from Supol Yusuf (rtd), during the week. It will be greatly appreciated if any of the Federal or the Ogun state government would urgently do the needful to put an end to what this very responsible citizen says is fast becoming a killing field. After his first message,  he has written to say that 2 more people had been killed there:

    “Please who will help us tell government about this narrow bridge at Iju?

    Accident on this bridge is too frequent and is claiming lives and properties . Yesterday it claimed 15 lives involving a trailer and a comercial bus . This is a Federal road from Sango to Idiroko . Please help us”.

  • BLIGHT OR BLESSING (2)

    BLIGHT OR BLESSING (2)

    “A halt to all your boast”, replied

    A woman at the edge of the crowd

    “Because the mantis knows how

    To put its hands together, it thinks

    The whole world moves to its inaudible prayer

    The hoe bears no masculine name

    The machete is no exclusive tool

    Of the hairy-chested breed

    We have countless women here who tend the farm

    With the same vital care they handle the cradle

    Mama Chilambe, show these men

    The marks  hoe-handles have left on your palm”

     

    A feast loomed delicious behind the moon

     

    “You wax so eloquent about the cradle;

    But who planted the seed before the bloom

    Who stays on top in the act of the sowing?”

     

    “Of course, you men are always on top

    And that is why your weight suppresses the world

    But tell us, sowers of wonderful seeds,

    Have you ever seen a seed that grows

    Without the sweating soil”

     

    “The bane of the world is its unruly women

    Women at war with Nature

    Women with no sense of their appointed place

    They……..”

     

    “Whose nay-ture, who appointed the place?

    We too long for a time – and hope it’s coming soon

    When we can flop on the sofa, newspaper in hand,

    Legs on the coffee table, ordering sweaty wives

    In the kitchen to hasten to ensure a punctual dinner

    We too long for a time when we can whisk

    Pregnant husbands to crowded clinics

    And build up a harem of pretty men….

     

    A feast loomed delicious behind the moon

     

    (To be continued)

  • Bishop Kukah’s panaceas

    Bishop Kukah’s panaceas

    Bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Sokoto, Rev. Matthew Kukah, is accustomed to speaking with unrivalled candour. Last week, while delivering a lecture at the National Institute for Legislative and Democratic Studies (NILDS) in Abuja, he refused to shy away from the delicate topic of identity politics, particularly the raging but ultimately futile controversy over Muslim-Muslim ticket associated with the All Progressives Congress (APC) bid for the highest office in the land in 2023. He neither opposed nor endorsed same-faith ticket, perhaps so as not to be seen as immersing himself in the murky waters of political endorsements. No, he was not afraid – his logic and position do not suggest anything fearful – but he was careful and deep enough to know that identity politics can be treacherously difficult to manage.

    As the bishop put it: “The greatest challenge for us is that our identity politics has not been well managed. The most important ingredient in politics is diversity. You have heard me in the last seven years or so, I have been relentless. I am convinced beyond reasonable doubt that, had we developed the skills to manage diversity effectively and efficiently, that’s what is happening in other parts of the world…The question for every politician is, what do I want to be known for? Nigeria has produced some dramatic politicians. There are people, who can hold you spellbound. Every campaign must be characterised by a slogan. Nigeria politicians need to understand that wiping out corruption campaign no longer works. Nigerians are looking for a country they can believe in. Our identities are not a problem. Religion is not actually a problem. When you talk about issue-based campaign, there has to be an aggregate of safety: how do you manage a country like Nigeria with so many religious and other differences? People have to get a sense that they are in this, too. I think that when we talk about what the issue should be for 2023 election, it’s basically same thing we have been addressing. Every Nigerian has looked himself in the mirror and asked themselves, whether I’m a Christian or a Muslim, am I better off now? Under saner moments, we shouldn’t be talking about Muslim-Muslim ticket.”

    Though expertly nuanced, the bishop deprecates identity politics and the controversy over same-faith tickets. He understands that the quest for true leadership transcends the superficiality and ephemeralness of religion, tribe or any other identity. Somalia is a failed state, but it is ethnically and religiously homogenous. History is replete with leaders who hid behind religion or tribe to unleash terror on their people. In the quotation above, Rev Kukah argues that Muslim-Muslim ticket should ordinarily not be an issue under sane conditions. He recognises that it has become an issue, but regrets it. Being a Christian leader, and one whose stand on issues is usually highly respected, he is unlikely to make a definitive statement deploring the controversy. From his arguments, he hopes the country will transcend that unwholesomeness. However, he acknowledges that given the prevailing political climate, that is unlikely to happen. Clearly, in the foreseeable future, the bishop will continue to delicately navigate the treacherous rapids of identity politics until a groundswell of public opinion and reorientation causes a tectonic shift in Nigerian politics.

    Finally, the bishop hits the nail on the head by challenging Nigerians to rethink and re-envision their country. “The questions Nigerians are asking are legitimate and it’s the responsibility of these politicians to deal with it” he advises. “We need to re-image Nigeria. The Nigeria we have today is not something many of us can recognise.” The problem, however, is that it is not even clear that Nigerians understand vaguely how to rethink their country, or when they do, whether they can accurately deconstruct that vision. Nigeria is of course not the only country incapable of knowing what it really wants. Too many countries grope in the dark. The bishop does not exaggerate when he accuses Nigerians of embracing identity politics. It is a fact. They have the capacity to overcome it, as they have demonstrated repeatedly throughout their history, particularly in some regions, but it is not clear whether they have not perhaps retrogressed in the past few decades as a result of the deliberate projection of identity politics by their leaders, particularly their military heads of state.

    Even though he does not state it unequivocally, but only hints it, it can be safely gleaned from his lecture that he wishes Nigerians would denounce identity politics and the nonsensical arguments over same-faith candidature. He hints of much saner yardsticks against which a party’s presidential ticket should be judged. For now, though probably unplanned, there are three visible contenders for the 2023 presidency: former vice president Atiku Abubakar of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), former Lagos State governor and national leader of his party Bola Ahmed Tinubu of the All Progressives Congress (APC), and former Anambra State governor Peter Obi of the Labour Party (LP). Of the three, Asiwaju Tinubu has the acknowledged track record of democratic activism. His life has been dedicated to fighting for democracy and the rule of law, and his time in office has also been the most genuine and impactful. It is curious that his candidacy is even judged against the yardsticks of identity/religious politics.

    Nyesom Wike spills the beans

    Still angered by how shabbily he has been treated by his party, the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), Rivers State governor Nyesom Wike has begun talking furiously more than usual. Normally, he talks nineteen to the dozen; but last Friday, he exceeded himself when he threatened to spill the beans on how the embattled PDP chairman Iyorchia Ayu collected one billion naira from a certain politician and PDP presidential aspirant in Lagos before their May presidential primary. The governor has not indicated whether the money helped sway the direction and outcome of the primary, but he can be trusted to reveal more in the course of time, especially as long as his struggle with the party persists. Indeed, insisting that he had evidence to back his allegations, he has promised to supply the details of who gave what and when.

    The acrimonious battle within the PDP is just beginning, just when everyone thought it was about to end after the PDP presidential candidate had called Mr Wike’s bluff and constituted a campaign council that again treated the Rivers governor with less respect than he thought he deserved. The problem is that Mr Wike has a group of backers who appear resolute in supporting his stand on political and regional balance within the party. The group demands the resignation of the party chairman in favour of a chairman from the South, a change the Wike group insists could not be compromised without consequence. The PDP presidential candidate, Atiku Abubakar, insists the intransigent Dr. Ayu could not be forced to resign in defiance of party rules and constitution. As a matter of fact, the party chairman is very loth to resign, for as Mr Wike alleges, the position is indeed a plum one, susceptible to all kinds of gratifications.

    The campaigns begin this week, suggesting that little else will get done in the interval between that date and the elections in February. Alhaji Atiku is probably right that he can’t ask Dr Ayu to resign; but perhaps he can get him to want to do it of his own volition. The assumption of course is that the candidate really thinks Dr. Ayu should go, and that Mr Wike is dispensable. Meanwhile, it is now abundantly clear that the Rivers governor will not go down without a fight, as he is prepared to drag the whole party edifice with him into the abyss, not caring whose ox is gored.

  • Okon pads his budget and heads for Iyanfoworogi

    Okon pads his budget and heads for Iyanfoworogi

    As the economic hardship bites harder in the land turning hitherto strong men into human fiascoes, snooper has devised a series of stringent austerity measures to stem the steamrolling tide of economic adversities. In addition to physically tape-ruling yam tubers and monitoring the outflow of foodstuff from the pantry like some ancient teacher, yours sincerely has stopped the unbudgeted inflow of country bumpkins and upcountry yokels to the house by cancelling existing visas. These days snooper tells his agrarian folks that he prefers to visit them, which is what the Americans call immigration control at source.

    But trust Okon to find his way round the severe economic blockade. Unknown to snooper, in addition to his petty pilfering of foodstuff and moving the yam tape whenever his master chose to be away, the crazy boy has resorted to the twin strategy of padding and anticipatory approval of emergency expenditure. Playing on his master’s failing and fading memory, Okon conspires with market women to pad the budget and inflate price without any decorum or discretion. One morning, the pyramid scheme collapsed on the mad boy.

    “ Okon, we budgeted ten thousand for meat, why has it turned to fifteen thousand?” an irate snooper demanded.

    “Oga na me pad dat one. Market and kitchen don catch fire”, the mad boy whined with a sheepish smile which further infuriated yours sincerely.

    “And what is padding?” snooper growled.

    Read Also; Okon is upstaged by Baba Lekki

    “Ha oga, you no sabi padding? Where you come dey for obodo? Everybody dey do am, dem house, dem soldiers, dem judge. Even dem  Dogara boy come say padding no be crime. We come dey paddy paddy kontri, abi no be so?” the crazy boy snorted.

    On that note, snooper elected to sue for peace with the implacable loony. But the kitchen erupted again.

    “Okon, where is the omelet?” snooper thundered.

    “Ha oga omelet o ma late ooo”, the crazy boy sniggered with venomous relish.

    “Then you give me scrambled egg”, snooper raved.

    “Oga even dat one dem done scramble. And dem don poach dem poached egg.  Even dullard sabi say when dem dollar don climb over 400 to one naira, egg must to disappear”, Okon retorted. At this point, snooper opened the steaming dish gingerly placed on the table by the mad boy and was confronted by something that looked like boiled unripe pawpaw instead of yam.

    “Okon what is this nonsense?” snooper stuttered in implacable rage.

    “Ha oga na new yam be dat. I go market and dem women tell me say no yam, but dem say if I wan buy new yam, make I go dem Iyanfoworogi village. I come reach dem village near Ife and dem old man come tell me say for dem village yam dey grow for tree. Him come show me dem tree with dem  obonge breadfruit. Na him I come buy one sack. Oga dem say him good. Boku  vitamin C, D, A, K, L, P, G dey there. Efen Fiagra sef he dey there”, the mad boy whooshed and winked.

    “Don’t tell me that nonsense! Okon before I come back you must leave this house”, snooper thundered and stormed out.

    First published in 2016.

  • Queen Elizabeth, Prof Anya and Peter Obi

    Queen Elizabeth, Prof Anya and Peter Obi

    Moments before Queen Elizabeth II died on September 8, a Nigerian Professor of Linguistics teaching at a United States university, Uju Anya, remorselessly excoriated the dying British monarch, wishing her ‘excruciating’ death, and describing her as the “chief monarch of a thieving, raping, genocidal empire”. In a manner of speaking, she spat on her grave even before she was buried. Prof. Anya has in turn been excoriated by critics for her ungracious and undignified words. Rebuking her has, however, not caused her to wince. Instead, she has doubled down on her views, which she insisted were considered, and has appeared to feel triumphant that she had in her own unique way helped bring to the fore discussions about what the Igbo in particular went through during the civil war as indirect result of colonisation and the chicaneries of the British Empire. As she tweeted with undisguised triumphalism days after the Queen eventually died, and in reference to the plight of the Igbo in Nigeria, “Together we shared our pain and taught the world our history.”

    While Prof. Anya’s tweet has received some measure of global publicity, with Amazon founder Jeff Bezos even making oblique reference to it, the British, let alone the icy British monarchy, will not dignify her with a response. From her short tweet, it is obvious that the eminent professor knows a thing or two about linguistics; but when it comes to history, especially history of the Nigerian civil war and its socio-economic and political underpinnings, she clearly knows little. She has instigated a swarm of responses to her wild historical exaggerations, generalisations and mischaracterisation, and many critics horrified by her speciousness have taken her to task. The reader should peruse some of these responses elsewhere. But it is enough to point out that the Southeast’s victim complex is indeed real and enduring. Because there has been no closure to the civil war for various reasons, including resistance by the Southeast itself, that complex will indeed remain for a long time, blighting relationships – some of which are now being exported – and obfuscating sensible analyses and understanding of the Igbo condition and politics.

    During the 80th birthday celebration of business mogul Emmanuel Iwuanyanwu, Imo State governor Hope Uzodinma attempted to explicate and isolate some of the main causes of the Igbo failure in achieving reintegration or a successful bid for the presidency. In his lecture, the governor talked about the Igbo lack of restraint, their isolationism undergirded by a feeling of exceptionalism, and their contempt for diplomatic dealings with other groups and entities — in short their controversial worldview that needs a lot of restructuring. It is not clear how well-received his analysis on that delicate subject was, but he has not been the only one to see just how the tactlessness of the Igbo during critical situations, such as the post-1966 coup, had been self-defeatist, thus negating their ascendancy and acceptability. Indeed, in her response to critics’ condemnation of her first tweet on the dying Queen, Prof. Anya had needlessly isolated the Igbo for plaudits, despite her opinion resonating in many parts of the world, including Nigeria, which were at the receiving end of the evils of colonialism and neocolonialism. And what on earth was her sexual preference doing in her second tweet? Why does she think the world needs a reminder of her private peccadilloes?

    Prof. Anya undoubtedly vulgarised the major and still ramifying issue of colonialism. Had she simply elucidated the topic and tied it to the mawkish celebration of the Queen’s illness and death, perhaps she would have received a less controversial and more dignified response fitting for a university teacher. Her fleeting portrayal of the civil war was brutally insular, and her reference to colonialism was, to put it mildly, horribly misplaced. The British Empire was of course self-centred, no matter how well clothed in saccharine British historians and colonialists paint it. In Nigeria they gave the waning Sokoto Caliphate a shot in the arm in 1904, and they amalgamated Nigeria in a way that was beneficial only to the Empire, not to the indigenous peoples of Nigeria. And at independence, they instituted a system that attempted, albeit unsuccessfully, to create one destiny out of many nations. But there were many other things they were not responsible for, such as the Igbo responses to the misshapen institutions and dying embers of colonialism, and the Igbo vacillations and self-centredness that produced the ill-fated 1966 coup and the civil war. Rather than keep up the victim complex, and entrench the bitter and divisive rhetoric of tribe and supremacy, it is important for the Igbo and the rest of Nigeria to chart a path towards achieving a closure.

    The Southwest Yoruba produced the inimitable Obafemi Awolowo, an administrator par excellence, who would have done wonders with Nigeria had he got the chance to rule. But, despite all the assumptions and approximations about the First Republic polls and the 1979 polls, he never came very close to winning a national election. It took Moshood Abiola in 1993 to show the Yoruba how politics should be played, despite his seemingly ‘unYoruba’ failings. The Yoruba may be losing their globally acclaimed secularism, that is, politics unencumbered by religion, but in Bola Ahmed Tinubu, they may be again incidentally making the bold and, for these times, radical statement that the Southwest should disentangle politics from religion. More, aping Chief Abiola, the Yoruba have begun entrenching the wisdom of building networks and bridges all over the country in order to inspire trust across ethnic groups and religions necessary to win elections. Neither exceptionalism nor triumphalism, as is unfortunately being marketed by the Southeast, would deliver the desired outcome. President Muhammadu Buhari had flown that chute three times in past elections to no avail, until he received help to build bridges to the Southwest and to other religions outside his cocoon.

    Prof. Anya’s indefensible and execrable tweet, including the jubilant response from some Igbo commentators on social media, shows how suspiciously widespread the animus in the Southeast is, and how influential the spirit of the tweet remains an integral component of the Igbo worldview. The Igbo must find ways to deal with that problem. No one will help them until they realise that the spirit of the Anya tweet dangerously suffuses and pollutes their politics and inter-ethnic relationships. Sadly, Labour Party presidential candidate, Peter Obi, has obstinately refused to learn the required lessons of building supranational networks, and the need to downplay the victim complex, or victimhood as some put it, and recognise that developing and nurturing a sense of entitlement would be politically counterproductive. That he has not learnt that lesson may be an indication that his presidential ambition is nothing but an afterthought, an ambition anchored on superficialities rather than a careful construction of networks, principles and ideology.

    If the Igbo do not make effort to put the civil war behind them, as Europe has largely done after World War II; if they do not engage in the introspection some of their intellectuals have identified as critical to their existence and survival; if they sustain their antagonisms against other ethnic groups in whose lands they sojourn, and promote ethnic aggressiveness and unfounded and unrealistic supremacist ideas, the acrimony will persist. It will take years of careful planning and building bridges by a brilliant Igbo politician to elicit the trust and confidence needed to persuade the rest of the country to embrace a Southeast candidate. Should that happen, the country will then see such a candidate not as Igbo, but as a politician they can do business with, someone they can trust will not impose hegemony over them, someone they can rely on to check the revanchist tendency of his ethnic group. A thousand Peter Obis could not hope to leapfrog into the presidency.

     

    Read Also: Why I wished Queen Elizabeth II ‘excruciating’ death — Uju Anya

     

    Litigating and complicating ASUU strike

    After seven months of dithering and imperious negotiations, the federal government has finally decided to litigate the strike by ASUU. The university lecturers’ demands are fairly well known by now. So, too, are the points upon which the government remains intransigent. Months to the end of the Muhammadu Buhari administration, there has been no concrete, futuristic policy on education, especially regarding funding and research. It was, therefore, easy for the government to be bogged down for years by the mundanity of responding awkwardly and constantly to interruptions in tertiary education. The same cancer has, of course, blighted the judiciary and health sectors, with those all-important sectors also suffering arrested development; but the crisis in education, the fulcrum upon which everything hangs and rotates, takes the biscuit.

    The government seems to possess a self-destructive instinct. Just when it seemed a tentative solution had been found to the ASUU strike, which had by then lasted a dispiriting six months, the Education and Labour ministries pulled a rabbit out of the hat by tying the solution to the lecturers forfeiting six months pay. They were egged on by an undiscriminating public who often do not see beyond their noses. Whether the government recognised the insensitivity of that new conditionality or it was just being unduly legalistic was unclear. Nevertheless, shortly after reiterating their Labour laws to everyone’s hearing, particularly the exasperated ASUU, and having seen how badly the crestfallen youths of the country took the turn of events, the Education ministry constituted a panel of university administrators to take another look at the deal earlier reached with the lecturers. Everyone’s confidence was shaken, but it seemed commonsense had finally prevailed.

    Alas, the government is staffed by magicians in love with rabbits. Just when hope had begun to materialise, the Labour ministry, brimming with recalcitrant and imperious officials, took ASUU to the National Industrial Court to compel an end to the strike. The case has been adjourned to tomorrow. Whether a dispute that has lasted for about seven months can be dispensed with using judicial fiat remains to be seen. And whether it makes sense to resort to litigation moments before a realistic and amicable solution is found also remains a mystery. It does not, however, seem that the Labour ministry acted alone. Their action may not make sense, just as the government itself has been tardy about practically everything since the administration’s assumption of office in 2015, but in the end, it is hard to see how litigation can resolve decades of ASUU-government misunderstanding sustained and energised by an incomprehensible lack of fidelity to agreements.

    Decades of strikes and shoddy treatment of skilled labour had considerably depleted Nigeria of its workforce. That depletion continues apace, with virtually every economic sector denuded of the crucial support required to reinvigorate the system and keep it flourishing. Doctors, researchers, engineers, linguists, artists, some of them globally acclaimed, have migrated to foreign shores and are replenishing other systems. Stiff-necked and arrogant government officials flaunt their capacity to produce skilled manpower from schools and hospitals which, they sneered, are in high demand globally. If schools and teaching hospitals are so bad, they growled, why are they still in high demand all over the world? The fallacy of their reasoning does not strike them.

    When the court judges the ASUU case, it will become clear how the union will react. It is futile to second-guess them, or anticipate whether the intervention by the House of Representatives will amount to anything. If the threat of forfeiting six months pay was not enough to dissuade the union, might court orders do the trick? What is disgracefully evident in all this is the fact that the administration and the ones before it lacked the capacity to envision an education policy capable of catapulting Nigeria to the right orbit. This failure underscores the leadership crisis that has blighted Nigeria from independence. Nothing suggests that the country is about to turn the corner. Take for example the common principle of a sense of urgency that should drive government policy. A day after she was called to form a government, British Prime minister Liz Truss formed her cabinet and was beginning to churn out policy initiatives but for the hiatus of the Queen’s death. It took Nigeria about six months to form a cabinet in 2015, and many more years to emplace boards of certain agencies. It is unsurprising that such lack of urgency has impaired the education and health sectors. Now, instead of trusting their sense of bargaining and ability to placate anger vented against their unfaithfulness to bargains, the government has turned to threats and litigation.

    It is now unlikely that the administration will bequeath any solid initiatives capable of revolutionising Nigeria. Even though conditions favour drastic changes, and Nigerians are themselves amenable to radical changes, including state policing, there will be nothing grand and uplifting in the months ahead to entrench any legacy. Not in politics, not in the society as a whole, and certainly not in health and education. The administration met a convoluted landscape; it will leave the same landscape barren. The paradox, however, is that it is still the same party that appears best placed to redress decades of misgovernance which had ossified under its contradictory and sterile policies. Neither the stultified Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) nor the amorphous and highfalutin Labour Party (LP), nor yet the anonymous New Nigeria Peoples Party (NNPP), is in any position whatsoever to do something about the crisis Nigeria is enmeshed in. Disregard their propaganda and the illegitimate wishes they have sired.

     

     

     

    Atiku bites the bullet

     

    With the composition of the PDP’s presidential campaign council and the continuing, if not final, diminution of Rivers State governor Nyesom Wike, the party’s presidential candidate and former vice president Atiku Abubakar has bitten the bullet. Last Wednesday in Ibadan, Oyo State, during the party’s stakeholders’ meeting, Alhaji Atiku, perhaps already exasperated, told his querulous host Seyi Makinde that the contentious issue of forcing the PDP chairman Iyorchia Ayu to resign could not be done without following the party’s constitution. He did not entirely rule out the possibility, and even described the process as attainable, yet it was clear that he was determined to forge ahead with or without Mr Wike who had inspired and led the campaign to unseat the chairman and foster a more equitable party in its top echelons.

    The PDP now appears finally fated to self-destruct. Its presidential candidate and party chairman are from the North. So, now, too, is the presidential campaign director-general, Aminu Tambuwal, Sokoto State governor and former presidential aspirant obviously requited for delivering the swing ‘vote’ to make Alhaji Atiku the candidate. In the eyes of Mr Wike, they all appear poised to come South to campaign for a northern hegemony no less. Many Nigerians may squirm at Mr Wike’s histrionics, but they can’t help but notice how jarring it is for the PDP to present a completely northernised face. The South, at least, will resent that face.

    Alhaji Atiku has finally called the bluff of Mr Wike; he will thus have to bear the blowback from a scorned and infuriated suitor. Whether he had a choice or not in the face of Mr Wike’s abrasiveness and inflexibility is another thing entirely. The Rivers governor is of course a member of the campaign council, but he will interpret his lowly listing as insufferable and annoying. He must now begin earnestly to calculate his options and determine whether if he goes all out to fight his party he can win or even retain the support of his gubernatorial allies who are being undercut relentlessly by their state chapters.

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • A very long goodbye to the Queen

    A very long goodbye to the Queen

    Queen Elizabeth, much beloved mother and matriarch of her people, will be laid to rest tomorrow. Appropriately, a public holiday has been declared in honour of the great lady. The outburst of grief and affection has been unprecedented in its scale, scope and global intensity. For many people, it was as if the family’s favourite auntie has departed. Such was the level of international bonding with the British monarch.

    Yet very rarely in history does an interminable mourning procession turn into an International Justice Tribunal. But when the person involved is one of the most extraordinary personages of the epoch, we must expect this kind of ghoulish and surreal drama which pulls at opposite strands of the entire gamut of human emotions.

    Despite her affectation of simplicity, genuine common touch and cultivation of middle class values and bourgeois solidity, Elizabeth II was undoubtedly one of the titans of modern history. It takes a certain combination of charm and good luck to be so famously successful and not to be widely offensive. The late sovereign head of the United Kingdom charmed them all in the original African sense of holding people spellbound.

    But last week as her earthly remains lay in stately repose and as an interminable queue of mourners snaked its way through the heart of London to pay their last respect, the potency of the medicine began to wear off a bit.  While millions of genuinely bereaved Elizabethans stood still in dignified disbelief and regret, the anguished murmurs of many injured and dispossessed could also be heard around the world.

    They echoed from the impoverished peripheries and hellholes of humanity and particularly from a Diaspora induced by different waves of colonization. While many grieved at the passing of a genuinely beloved monarch, the disaffected vented their spleen on the person they consider to be the ultimate symbol of colonial atrocities and racial indignities. One of these is a Nigerian-born American professor who offloaded a pile of bitter mush on the departing queen. It feels like the divine example of poetic justice.

    A woman of stoic and stony temperament, Elizabeth Mary Windsor, the longest reigning sovereign in the history of Britain, would have been mildly miffed by it all. There are many people of weak constitution and tender palates, including this writer, who would have found the recriminations rather churlish and occasion inappropriate.

    But international relations are not founded on international morality. Even if relations among nations were to be, it is no longer feasible in our bitterly divided world to celebrate genuine greatness and human distinction irrespective of provenance.

    In a centrally fissured world seething with bile and discontent, it has proved impossible to cast our dark prejudices aside for a moment to celebrate our common humanity and one of its most iconic manifestations ever. You table that even in the most informed circles and murmurs of Stockholm syndrome rent the air.

    After almost six hundred years of what Noam Chomsky, the distinguished MIT linguist, polymath and combustible contrarian, has called the five hundred year system of colonial expropriation and world-historic brutalities this is what the world has come to. Nothing is sacred anymore. Everything is bitterly contested and contestable. And human greatness itself has succumbed to the relativist rot.

    Read Also: Lord Lugard was here….

    But we can no longer continue to blame others for our historic weaknesses and infirmities. The wisest thing to do is to study how they do it, so that history does not continue to repeat itself. There is a local adage which holds that if you see a person being pursued by furious masquerades and you do not reach for their pot of soup, when then are you going to benefit from the inscrutable ways of the gods?

    By the time she joined her ancestors about two weeks ago, Queen Elizabeth had already passed into legend as the ultimate global symbol of constitutional monarchy. Blessed with long life, an iron constitution and uncommon tenacity, Elizabeth had even managed to surpass her legendary and formidable great, great grandmother, Queen Victoria, who had to forge a truly global empire from what their German cousins would call “blood, sweat and tears”.

    Both remarkable women had acceded to the throne in very unpropitious circumstances of divided and conflicted sovereignty. But each went on to distinguish herself. In the case of the younger sovereign, she did it her own way.  On her way, the dutiful and eager to learn Elizabeth mastered the art of being a revolutionary game changer while appearing a staid conservative. It was a class act in the most subversive nuance of the phrase. But it was also quintessentially English.

    According to one of their great writers, George Orwell, England “has the power to change out of recognition and yet remain the same”. For the subdued English royalty and aristocracy, it is the supreme survivalist strategy, having to become an aristocratic embodiment of middle class virtues. It is a change without changing. Long before the French proclaimed the cynical dictum that the more things change the more they remain the same, the English had already stumbled on the reality.

    After almost four hundred years of upheavals and bloodletting on an industrial scale which climaxed with the gory decapitation of one of their kings, the British ruling classes have learnt not to toy with the lower masses. They must be placated rather than pacified. One way or the other, the unruly masses will have to be ruled by giving them what they need rather than what they crave. Let that other one remain at the realm of fantasy and imaginative day-dreaming.

    It is an illusionist fantasia with the royal family providing the escape hatch to that dream world of longing but not quite belonging with their spectacular pageantry and arcane rituals. It is a bizarre sorcery of national regeneration and self-affirmation based on the exhumation of dead relics and other esoteric memorabilia. In their gold-plated horse-drawn carriages, gilded coaches and period automobiles, they transport the people back to a bygone world of absolute sovereigns and emperors.

    But while they are at it, the real hatchet people who actually rule the nation and who superintend its daily affairs could be found huddling together with their red boxes on inter-city trains or espied being ferried to and from the real seat of power. In their sober departmental store suits and frumpy, off the peg blouse and skirts, they look like ordinary people doing regular chores. No attempt is made whatsoever to match the class and élan of the royalty and the aristocracy.

    This is an age long distinction that must be maintained at the pain of death. It is a fine line that all parties must respect. The monarchy may be a costly distraction but it is a necessary distraction, a transcendental symbol of inclusiveness needed to sustain the unity and organic cohesion of a nation bitterly cobbled together. It is also there to insulate those who must reign from those who will rule.

    The British ruling classes have learnt their lessons in a very hard way indeed. According to Simon Schama, the distinguished Dutch historian, several decades after, some battle fields in the Scottish Highlands and the English midlands still reeked of the foul and fetid stench of badly decomposed humanity. Despite the later rhapsody of the green, green grass of home and the allure of interminably rolling hills draped in verdure and pasture, medieval Britain was very much a vast killing field.

    Unfortunately for the rest of the world, it would appear that it was this home franchise of brutal and unanswerable conquest that Britain would later export to the world as the first modern superpower. Having subdued their neighbours with maximum force, the sturdy islanders broke through the Channels in a spectacular foray which saw them establish their colonial dominion in places as far flung as India, Africa, North America, Australia, New Zealand and later China.

    On their way, they had routed the intrepid Spaniards who thought the Brits were no better than seafaring marauders, the French who believed they were only a nation of shopkeepers and their self-regarding German siblings who dismissed them as weak, vacillating, unreliable and perfidious in the extreme.

    How such a miniscule island-nation could chalk up such outlandish military successes remains a historic mystery. As recent as April 1982, the Argentines got their bloody comeuppance from Margaret Thatcher for daring to dispute British suzerainty over the Falkland Islands.

    Surely, after the advent of the Industrial Revolution which gave them access to superior weaponry and munitions has been factored into the equation, some other things must be at play. Diffident in victory, calmly reticent in stunning triumph, lying low and occasionally playing the fool, the British genius lies in its profound capacity to mask and conceal genius. It is a deadly combination which has brought grief to many unsuspecting adversaries around the world.

    To whom much is given much is also expected. It has been suggested that arising from the disproportionate economic advantages accruing to it as a result of colonization, the brutal expropriations of other people’s land, the internationalization of slavery and the global warming now threatening many nations as a result of the despoliation of the global fauna and fossils, Britain should give something back as a token gesture of remorse and regret for the atrocities committed.

    But that will be the day. In the history of the modern world, no nation has ever given up its historic advantage except compelled by circumstances beyond its control. In a Darwinian world of the survival of the fittest, it is like asking your tormentors to go easy on you because you are also human. We are yet to find a name for this emergent syndrome. It is certainly not from Stockholm.

    One of the charges against the late queen is that she soaked in the material riches and stupendous munificence arising from the colonial expropriation of other people without evincing any sympathy for the plight of the colonized. But what was she to do? Ask that the largest stone in the English crown which was the reward of colonial plunder in India be returned to the owner? She would have been summarily dethroned and sectioned.

    It has also been hinted by the eternally naïve that King Charles will do the needful, given his emotional identification with the lowly, his forthright and outspoken outbursts against unmerited privileges and genuine concern about the terrible effects of climate warming.

    But as the new king will soon discover, the boyish enthusiasms of pre-coronation must give way to the hardy sobriety of post-coronation. Any off-message rallying away from the script will attract instant reprimand from the real rulers of the land such as happened to his wayward and sybaritic great uncle, King Edward.

    In the end and as Queen Elizabeth’s sterling career has demonstrated, old empires may change form like a snake casting off its slough. But they remain essentially the same. Even in its post-empire incarnation, the imperializing imperative remains and dominion is not a tea party.

    It is up to those who feel oppressed to summon their inner reserves of creative enterprise to come up with countervailing centres of civilization just as the Chinese, the Indians, the Singaporeans, the Malaysians, the South Koreans and the Gulf Arabs have done. It is the reality of newer and more competitive versions of modern civilization that will compel Britain to face up to its own structural and political inadequacies rather than whining and throwing tantrums about colonial atrocities.

    Here is wishing the great matriarch of Britain eternal repose.

  • Lord Lugard was here….

    Lord Lugard was here….

    After open air jollifications at the intriguing Waka club on the Catholic Mission street last Sunday, snooper paid an unscheduled midnight visit to the famed Lagos Lawn Tennis Club. The feel-good atmosphere was as hilarious as it was infectious. There was a dancing retired admiral, polite and amiable to the hilt in the true officer and gentleman tradition, and plenty of chicken suya.

    All hell broke loose as we were departing and snooper’s gaze fastened on the plaque of former presidents.

    Read Also: Three Sojourners’ quotes from Oscar Wilde

    “Hmmm, I didn’t know that Lord Lugard was your founding president”, snooper observed in innocence. Our host, sensing an insurgent trap, exploded.

    “Is that the kind of foolish question you should be asking after taking our beer and suya?”, he snapped. Snooper kept his peace but the host was far from satisfied. Charging snooper to the car, he railed in Lagosian lingo. “So ti e ri awon omo ale ara oke yi. (See these upcountry louts! )”

    Baron Fredrick John Dealtry Lugard must have been laughing in his grave.

    • First published in 2007.