Category: Sunday

  • Four present terrors

    Four present terrors

    Despite the euphoria that has greeted the successful completion of party primaries and the sunny projection of a successful transition come 2023, there are still some potent terrors stalking the nation. Any one of these or a combination thereof, could spell political and electoral doom which can send the nation on an apocalyptic tailspin.

    Elite suicide occurs when the extant political institutions and the traditional bastions of state authority and legitimacy could no longer manage or contain a crisis arising from political conflicts leading to widespread anarchy and chaos. The state and its agencies are completely enfeebled and enervated with the enforcers in hiding or in technical surrender.

    In such circumstances, the rule of the mob or the reign of rural yobos and urban yokels sets in. Those who were old enough to have witnessed the fabled wetie insurrection of 1964 to early 1966 will attest to the destructive potency of this resurgence from the Nigerian underground.

    The Nigerian postcolonial political elite have a legendary reputation for flirtation with suicide. When they wish, they push the nation to the edge of the abyss only to wheel it back from the brink in the nick of time. Like a pyromaniac mob, they enjoy setting off huge fires just to reassure themselves of their capacity for flame-dousing. One has lost count of how many times the political class since independence has taken the nation to the doorstep of suicide.

    But it should be noted that these unwarranted embroilments take a cumulative toll on the health and psyche of a country still lacking an organic national identity. The Roman Empire did not die of a single major wound but from a thousand cuts. Those who believe that it doesn’t really matter and that no matter the adversity, the nation will fumble and wobble through are engaged in the most irrational exercise of self-delusion. Some wounds never heal completely.

    This is where the uproar and widespread brouhaha that have greeted the announcement of the running mate to the APC presidential candidate is regrettable but understandable. No one in his right mind, and perhaps only the most insensitive brute, can deny the trauma and brutalization the Christian community in Nigeria has suffered in the past few years in the hands of psychotic religious extremists pursuing their theocratic delusions in a secular nation.

    You cannot procure the profits of happiness with the proceeds of misery. It is a reflection of the mismanagement of ethnic and religious diversities of the nation in the past one decade that we have come to this sorry pass.

    The demons of religious hysteria are on the rampage in the nation, baying for either political or electoral blood, whichever comes first. One must shudder at the hour when political campaigns and mass indoctrination based on religious identity are taken to places of worship in this nation.

    Yet it is a measure of how far religious identity and the weaponization of faith for electoral purposes have proceeded ahead of ethnic supremacist politics that it is the choice of the APC running mate that has provoked widespread anger and indignation rather than the original culprit. This is what was alluded to in this column a fortnight ago.

    If the truth must be told, it is the PDP which broke with the sacred tradition of its founding fathers by staying north after eight years of northern rule and by choosing as its candidate a member of the dominant hegemony for sheer electoral gamesmanship that must be fingered as the original culprit of this untoward development.

    The APC, fearing an electoral debacle, merely responded in tactical kind. This obsession with power and with winning at all costs on all sides shows how difficult if not impossible is the very idea of consociational politics and elite consensus is in postcolonial Africa. It takes a disciplined and nationalist political class to pull off.

    To repeat the Heraclitan dictum that is fast becoming the mantra of this column, you cannot step into the same river twice. In the light of this, it is important to go back to where the rains started beating us in order to draw appropriate lessons.

    In the First Republic, no eyebrow was raised about the leadership hierarchy in the north which consisted entirely of Muslims. The Sardauna sent his deputy, Abubakar Tafawa-Balewa, to rule at the centre and Balewa chose Mohammadu Ribadu (1909-1965) as his deputy. When Ribadu passed it was the turn of Zana Bukar Dipcharima (1917-1969). Although the Sardauna hinted darkly about dipping the Quran in the Atlantic Ocean nobody complained of Islamization or Fulanization.

    In the east which was a bastion of Christianity, it was an all -Christian affair. In the west which has a sizeable mix of Moslems, Alhaji Dauda Soroye Adegbenro was unanimously endorsed to replace the ousted S.L Akintola and heavens did not fall. For a long time in many states that replaced the old west, the Christian/Christian ticket prevailed without any hint of social or religious tension arising from the choice. What seemed important to the Yoruba people was good governance and service delivery.

    In the presidential election of 1979, Chief Obafemi Awolowo of the UPN chose Phillip Umeadi, another Christian and southerner, as his running mate. Having failed in his efforts to persuade a group of leading northern politicians that good governance and superior service delivery are more important than pre-elective distribution of posts and offices, Awolowo took to this route as a gesture of defiance and heroic disavowal. It backfired catastrophically.

    The military of that period was arguably at its most nationalist and patriotic phase. Nodding to ethnic or religious sentiments in appointments and promotions was considered taboo. There might have been some underhand or under the table gaming by people with malign and dark motives. But by and large, the old military, even in its conservative ethos, was a stickler for competence and professionalism.

    It can be argued in retrospect that the botched major’s uprising of January 1966 finally domesticated the virus of ethnicity and religious bias in the Nigerian armed forces. Yet up till that moment, it was still largely containable through a combination of bluff and sheer bluster.

    When General Thomas Aguiyi-Ironsi took over the reins of power after the mutiny, he appointed Brigadier Olufemi Ogundipe as the Chief of Staff, Supreme Headquarters and the then Lieutenant Colonel Yakubu Gowon, a Christian from a minority northern ethnic group, as the army boss. After the mutiny petered out, its putative leader, Major Chukwuma Kaduna Nzeogwu, quietly negotiated a safe passage with the new supremo and was taken to Lagos by Colonel Conrad Dibia Nwawo, his old and much beloved instructor.

    After the assassination of Ironsi, Gowon appointed Lieutenant Joe Akahan, an ethnic Tiv from the north, as the Chief of Staff of the army with the old Navy veteran, the then Commodore Joseph Akinwale Wey, serving as the Chief of Staff, Supreme Headquarters. He also made Chief Obafemi Awolowo, the Vice-Chairman of the Federal Executive Council. It was an all-Christian team, but nobody raised an eyebrow, or perhaps it was too perilous to do so.

    Unfortunately by then, the cankerworm of ethnicity and religious inflammation had already found its way to the sinews of the society as well as the fabric of the armed forces. It was to lead directly to pogroms in the north and a terrible civil war in which millions perished. After the civil war, all became quiet on the eastern front given the military and political amputation of the third leg of the old ethnic-based triumvirate.

    But the military scions of the northern minority groups who believed they were the ones who bore the brunt of the war and who put the hegemonic cabal back in power began to ask probing questions of the oligarchy. It was to lead to thre military upheavals and savage reprisals, 1976 with the Dimka failed coup; 1985 with the Vatsa group and 1990 with the Orkar uprising.

    The ethnic and religious tension did not abate even after an officer of minority extraction seized the reins of power from a scion of the feudal oligarchy.  Having deposed his former boss, the then Major General Ibrahim Babangida eventually lost patience with being serially accused by Junaid Mohammed of excluding Fulani military officers from the pork pie. Babangida simply impounded the late Kano born fiery medic and hell-raiser.

    The choleric and implacable Junaid, who was later to surface at OMPADEC after cooling his heels in military detention for trying to insinuate ethnicity and religious bias to pure military postings, got more than he bargained for. But it was widely believed that his constant carping and the ominous stillness of the northern feudal oligarchy panicked the Babangida administration into joining the OIC as a way of establishing some kind of religious and ethnic parity. It merely deepened the crisis.

    In a sense, then, it can be argued that Babangida’s regime was a watershed in the annals of governance in post-independence Nigeria and the Minna-born political gamesman a ruler of great consequence for the destiny of the nation. It was under him that the Nigerian military reached its apogee of professional competence in peacekeeping abroad.

    But it was also under him that the insinuation of ethnic and religious identities into the officer-corps and the nation’s politics assumed an ominous dimension, despite being a robust secularist and religious liberal himself.

    Three nation-defining events can be isolated: The failed Orkar coup of 1990, an armed critique which put the National Question in sharper relief; the Zango-Kataf uprising of 1991 which Babangida himself described as an attempted civilian coup; and the 1993 annulment of the freest and fairest elections in the history of the nation.

    After this, the nation has never really been at ease as the deployment and weaponization of ethnic and religious identities took the front burner at the expense of genuine nation-building even in the post-military Fourth Republic. During the Obasanjo regime, some elements in the north resorted to the gambit of Sharia just to remind the Owu-born general of who held the ultimate veto power. It was a joke taken too far and it led ironically to Boko Haram and the savage decimation of the north.

    Nigeria is a country that has been much traumatised by religious and ethnic polarities with the fire being stoked on either side by parasites of national hysteria. General Buhari has not helped matters by his cavalier and less than sterling handling of diversities in the nation. One can then understand the umbrage, the outrage and the outcry over same faith presidential ticket. For those who have been hurt in the inferno, it is a matter of life or death.

    But we will be hurting ourselves the more if we fail to appreciate and understand the complex and complicated realities driving what may appear a cruel and unfeeling choice. As long as a section of the country holds the franchise for undemocratic vote-herding, and baring an urgent structural reconfiguration of the country, strategic-minded politicians will give pragmatic priority to what will get them into office rather than transient applause which guarantees nothing but electoral annihilation. It is a question of the balance of electoral forces.

    The cumulative damage of the ethnic and religious manipulations of the country’s fault lines cannot be undone overnight or by a single gesture of heroic futility. What is important in the coming months is for Nigeria’s active and increasingly sophisticated electorate to hold the feet of the leading candidates to fire and get them to avail the nation of their programme for the religious and ethnic detoxification of the nation.

    As we noted at the beginning of this piece, Nigeria’s political elite are prone to brinkmanship and constant flirtation with suicide. There are four major terrors staring the nation in the face which may imperil the journey to a successful transition in 2023 or bring the democratic process itself to a shuddering terminus. First is the possibility of state implosion arising from a combination of incompetence and sheer mental fatigue.

    Second is the possibility of non-state and anti-state actors overwhelming the state in a lightning blitzkrieg. As we have seen with the security nightmare which led to the Guje Correctional Facility invasion and the ambush of the presidential advance convoy, this is no longer a matter of conjectural possibility but a dire plausibility.

    Third is the possibility of hunger, looming famine and deepening social discontent in the land snowballing into an apocalyptic nightmare of anarchy and nation-wide chaos in which the already overstretched security forces find it impossible to restore order and normalcy.

    Finally, there is the terror of unintended consequences and obdurate political gamesmanship. When the presidential candidate of the APC, in an offhand remark, noted that the spirit of 1993 may be upon the nation, many of his virulent critics descended on him, some chiding him for equating himself with Abiola. But he may be clairvoyantly describing a social and historical process rather than the trajectory of personality.

    This is a figure of speech in which the trope, in full enactment, surpasses the best intention of the speaker; a clairvoyant moment of revelation. In 1993, the Nigerian people were ready for a new country but their military overlords were not. If the current political ferment in the nation is a precursor of 2023, let us hope that those who have held Nigeria to political ransom are ready. The cost will be prohibitive. There is time for everything under the sun.

  • This meeting is for men

    This meeting is for men

    Whilst we are still on the subject of countervailing religious identities and their impact on postcolonial politics in Nigeria, it is meet to report on developments in other departments. Arriving very late due to an epic traffic gridlock to a meeting of Yoruba cognoscenti somewhere in Ikoyi penultimate Saturday yours sincerely found himself immediately raising some awkward posers.

    The gathering of elders was convened to harmonize and streamline Yoruba position in the light of the unfolding Babel. But to our consternation, no woman was deemed as worthy of being invited. Is this how it is going to be in the putative Oduduwa Republic or in a fully restructured and decentralized Nigeria? This is not a moot point, particularly in a world in which gifted women are seizing the commanding heights of politics.

    Upon snooper’s objection, our host, a suave and urbane banking plutocrat, noted that someone had earlier raised the same point, but a former gubernatorial ogbologbo shot him down by insisting that the merit of the objection notwithstanding, a conclave of Yoruba elders is always meant for men.

    Oh dear, oh dear! This reminds us of a famous scene out of Things Fall Apart when a fellow who had neither taken the requisite titles nor could boast of barns overflowing with yam tubers began punching above his weight at a meeting. The hero of the novel cut him short and bellowed: “This meeting is for men!”

    But while Okonkwo’s fearsome haughtiness was a reflection of a self –made man whose rise to stardom was facilitated by the fluid republican ethos of the Igbo society, our man’s riposte is the product of an enduring feudal patriarchy and gendered prejudices in the Yoruba world.

    Yet the point of convergence is that any society ruled more by brawns than by brains is likely to make a short shrift of female puny efforts or reduce women to spiritual duties. We have not heard the last about countervailing identities as we move towards the full emancipation of Nigeria.

  • Unbeatable undercover cruising

    Unbeatable undercover cruising

    Many couples, especially, the ‘about to wed spouses’ most times do ask me for the best s3x ever, they want to know the best encounter that will  be registered in their memories for life and I most time say the best s3xual experience is the one both spouses enjoy the most.

    However, as my custom is I went researching, and from research, I gathered that the best s3xual ‘gbam! tend to begin with slow and steady movements. Slow soft kisses are the rule of the game.  As those kisses get deeper, bodies move closer, minds become more focused and hands start to roam. Even if you have had s3x with your spouse hundreds of times, you can still feel the incredible thrill of slowly progressing to a climax.

    The benefits are not just that you are bound to feel each other’s wonderful sensation for a little longer than you would during a quickie; you are also more likely to feel enhanced sensual thrills. By couples taking their time, you both have a chance to pay attention to how you both respond to different touches, kisses, positions, thrusts, and pleasures. You both have more opportunities to try new things, make small adjustments, and build towards a state of heightened arousal that rocks both of you from head to toe.

    In addition, during slow s3x, you are more likely to look each other in the eyes, communicate what you want, and tap into more profound emotions. A lengthy s3xual encounter is a well-prepared intercontinental, African, Chinese, or village-local-meal. It is not just about satisfying your hunger; it is about enjoying every single, delicious mouthful.

    Husband, please don’t squeeze your wife’s breast like tissue paper or handkerchief but feel her nipples become erect one at a time, as your fingertips circle each one over her blouse or night dress with the bra off.  A little kiss on her panties can provide a provocative preview of things to come later on.

    Wife, the aroma of a hygienic, sparkling, fresh, dirt-free, vagina fluid is one of the erotic s3xual tipoffs for many husbands. So keep your vagina inviting, captivating, appealing, tempting, and enticing always.

    Husbands should treat their wives to the most classic romantic move; you can just sweep them off their feet and carry them to bed. 100% of wives are dying for this move. The last time many husbands swept their wives off their feet was on the wedding day when they were posing for the wedding picture. You all will agree with me that another sweeping off the feet is long overdue.

    Wife, a romantic, well-perfumed light wear can inspire a slower-paced response from a man than something tight, rough, unattractive, old, and smelly.

    It is characteristic for African couples to rush through s3x, but when a spouse is in the mood to savour s3x, start with soft kisses and caresses, letting your lips and hands glide at first, and then slowly add more pressure. These first small moves set precedence for your spouse to follow, they let him or her know that you are in the mood to let every sensation linger. Starting in first gear does not mean you have to kick off the night with a mouth-to-mouth kiss with an un-brushed mouth. Many times, a typical wife ‘s3x engine’ has ‘knocked’ a few months into the marriage, the car parked on a hilly hill with the hand brake pull to neutral just because the husband all the time rush through s3x.

    Husband, I want you to know that it is not where you direct your attention first that sets the mood for leisurely love, but it is how. You can start caressing below the waist and still inspire long, romantic s3x with soft kisses, light touches, and gentle licks.

    In addition, the more time spent caressing each other over your clothes, the more you will both anticipate the fabulous sensation of skin against skin. A rushed in, rushed out s3x is another major stress-prone factor, please slow down and calm down!

    Slow and steady s3x is a healthy, curative, therapeutic, and romantic love spa, and helps increase the body’s general immune system to combat germs and virus that kills.

    Savour every spot, peel off and do not irritably tear off your wife’s clothing piece by piece.

    Notice each freckle and curve as it’s uncovered, then kiss or stroke it. When either of the spouses is still partially dressed and the other is naked, the result can be extremely racy. Keep all or a few pieces of clothing on after stripping your spouse to let them know that, for the moment, their bare erogenous zones are the sole focus of your attention, and if you need to pass any constructive positive comment for a healthier better shape be very careful and cautious about your utterances. The comments and reactions of our spouses go a long way to enhance and boost or inhibit, hinder, hamper and hold back our s3xual performances.

    Pay attention to those seldom-appreciated areas, for instance, a man’s nipples. Nonetheless, the surprise of feeling fingertips, lips, or tongue in these sensitive areas will shoot tiny shivers of pleasure up your husband’s spine, as you would be igniting not easily tame fire unknowingly.

    Please be sure to use more pressure in typically delicate places to keep the touch, kiss, or lick sensual, passionate, tormenting, flaming rapturous, and erotic.

    One thing that is crystal clear is that there will be an intense connection. In a long-term marriage, or relationship, it is very easy to fall into an eye-closed-routine-s3x in which the first thing that happens, and then couples stop talking, stop looking into each other eyes and you both just engage in physical s3x. At this point, s3x is about as intimate as a wrestling match and that can be passionless, unsatisfying, boring, and not compulsory because you feel that you are just going through the motions.

    You can prevent this from happening by taking minutes to be still, looking your spouse in the eye, kissing those eyes carefully, stroking their hair, complimenting them, and reaffirming your love for each other. Even when your wife is bored, take control of the action while still being gentle by cradling her head in your hands, caressing the head and telling her you knew she lost them all while in your house and you are ready to help her regain them back. When you begin to touch each other, again things will feel different, more intense, and fulfilling. Wife, while in missionary position, and thrusting in and out is going on, to intense the position, wrap your arms and legs around your husband’s body and pull him closer to you for deep penetration. Don’t just lay still, match the rhythm of each thrust so that your bodies move together.

    Holding hands during s3x is surprisingly intimate and loving. Then grasping your spouse’s hands is also a romantic way for you to provide added support and balance when he or she is moving up and down on top of you. Alternate this position to the wife on top, and if the husband gets the moves right it is guaranteed to take your wife’s breath away.

    Encourage her to straddle you on the edge of the bed and give her neck and breasts plenty of loving attention as she moves on top of you. You can also lift her by placing your hands under her thighs, slowly turning her around, and laying her back on the bed. If you are good at multitasking, kiss her continually and as you do this subtlety just push your longest finger into the tip of the vaginal and manually do a thrusting in and out with it while you place the thumb on her clitoris and rub it vertically I tell you, you can’t beat this undercover cruising, do you want to try this out please do and I can’t wait from hearing from you.

     

    QUESTION

    If I have a good morning erection am I free from every s3xual health challenge?

    My friend once told me that if or whenever one wakes up with an erection it means the person is free from every penis and erection problem, in short, every s3xual health challenge in men. Please, how far is this true?

     

    ANSWER

    Hmm, this is far from true because some men with weak erections, premature ejaculation, and erectile dysfunction still get erections when they sleep and even when they wake up. This is not because they do not have a s3xual health challenge, but because it is usually a sign that their weak erection, premature ejaculation, and erectile dysfunction are caused by stress, the anxiety about performance, or some prevailing situation that they can’t fix on time. If you don’t have night-time erections, that usually means such a person’s erectile dysfunction has a physical cause. Anytime a man has a problem getting or keeping an erection on a few occasions, should not be considered a s3xual or erectile health challenge. As a matter of fact, being tired, stressed, having problems with one’s wife, or drinking too much can make it tough to get an erection, and it’s normal for that to happen once in a while.

    However, men with diabetes have a higher risk of erectile dysfunction (ED) because diabetes can damage blood vessels and nerves, which can cause Erectile Dysfunction and other problems. Men who have diabetes are two to three times more likely to have s3xual health challenges than men who don’t.

     

    QUESTION

    Honestly, I envy my children’s s3x lives and activities

    My husband and I have hit middle age, and suddenly his erections seem less firm and his libido has dropped drastically.

    He says this is normal, but s3x is not just the same for me as before, this is the time I want it every now and then. Moreover, I am even ashamed to admit to myself that I am more active s3xually now than ever, and I sometimes even envy my children’s s3x life and activities.

    Sometimes, I secretly ask them to tell me about their s3xual activities [pretending to be interested in their relationship], only to get myself arouse and masturbate afterward.

    Funmi, please be honest with me, is this normal?

     

    ANSWER

    Firstly, it is very normal for you to be more active s3xually now than ever because it is part of aging for women and also you are more peaceful emotionally.

    Even though, there is no need for you to envy your children’s s3x life because you can experience the same. Most males after middle age experience changes in s3xual function. They may not develop an erection as quickly or as often as before. Their erections may not be as firm. They may not maintain the maximal erection as long. Ejaculation may not occur as quickly, and there is typically less volume of ejaculate, but still, s3x can still happen.

    Because these changes usually develop slowly and may not always occur to the same degree. In other words, the erect penis may be larger and firmer one day, but not the next.

    Sometimes, other factors affect a man’s system: fatigue, alcohol use, some types of medications, dejection, and anxiety, mainly “performance anxiety.” Actually, this problem of performance anxiety is a good reason for you not to express your concern about your husband’s erectile changes in derogatory terms or accusatory tones, but rather find a way around it.

    If you do, it will make him have low s3x-self-esteem which could make him worry more about the loss of potency and make normal s3xual function even more difficult. On the positive side, some couples find that the changes in a husband allow him to last longer in intercourse, which can potentially provide greater stimulation for his wife.

    Your husband is extremely interested in and perhaps anxious about your reactions to his problem. He’s also probably very sensitive about it. Be as reassuring as you can about your love, admiration, and respect. Eliminate words that might be interpreted by him as rejection. A problem like this calls for teamwork, however, when changes in erectile ability are creating serious tension between spouses, it’s a good idea to consult a s3x therapist.

    Recently, I have in addition find out some natural researched herbs with no side effects from Seychelles that can cure and also slow down erectile dysfunction to a very large extent

    For more detailed information about these herbs, please call me.

  • SNAPSONG 161

    SNAPSONG 161

    I come from the country

    Of the happiest people on earth

    Where rulers dance on the grave

    Of their people’s joy

     

    Visionless, virtueless, and satanically mendacious

    They gobble up the seed yam,

    Their prodigal belches mocking the impotent

    Silence in a house of fleshless ribs

     

    Our cars come from Asia

    Our phones from Finland

    Our toothpicks from Hungary

    Our proud Constitution from the lordly West

     

     

    Our labs have no labour

    Our libraries no books

    Our classrooms have neither class nor room

    Mimic mammals that we are

     

    Too happy for original thinking

    We beg and buy others to think for us

    Our universities happily shut down for months

    Our brains are on permanent sabbatical

     

    Too happy to know

    The sobering weight of sadness

    We are the giggling giants

    Of the happiest country on earth

  • APC, PDP battle demons

    APC, PDP battle demons

    FOR a while, it never seemed like the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) was capable of getting its act together. Every time analysts were tempted to write off the party, it carried out feats of derring-do that mystified political enemies and enabled members to heave sigh of relief. That they will keep up their brinkmanship is no longer in doubt, given their appalling inability to organise themselves in the truest tradition of partisan politics; but how long they can keep flying in the face of everything they stand for, without their feathers being singed, is not known. Their dazzling determination to tempt and tame the shrewish Nyesom Wike, Governor of Rivers State, caps seven incredible and exasperating years of disorganisation and entitlement, both designed to sustain the ruling party in power.

    Last week, after an initial rumour of the APC presidential candidate Bola Ahmed Tinubu meeting the Rivers governor in France, some three APC governors met Mr Wike in Port Harcourt ostensibly to win him over to their party, seeing how badly and shamelessly he had been treated in the past few months. The Rivers governor exemplifies the demons both the APC and the main opposition Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), to which Mr Wike belongs, are contending with. In confronting its demons, the PDP was always quicker from the starting block as their chairmanship election illustrated, and the APC slower; but midway into the race, as the presidential primaries indicated, the APC not only caught up, it surprisingly became fleet-footed. However, regardless of which of the two leading parties is making hay, both are battling demons that appear poised to affect them in the long run, in fact long after the next presidential poll. It is not certain whether Mr Wike will lend the APC more than a listening ear, though the visiting APC governors would be tantalised to welcome him into their fold; whatever decision the Rivers governor takes will affect both parties in the short and medium run, and also accentuate the demons they must take down in order to prosper.

    The APC never looked like it would successfully carry out a party convention to elect their national officers, particularly after the PDP made short work of emplacing its own executives. It took a botched coup, intervention from President Muhammadu Buhari, and a mixture of sagacity and docility to produce their party leaders. After that, however, and notwithstanding the fact that it barely sustained its unity to produce a chairman they were not sure they had confidence in, the APC proceeded quite optimistically to plan its special convention to elect its presidential candidate. Accustomed to snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, and flush with exuberant interest in defying thunder, the party once again attempted demoniacally to impose rather than elect a candidate. It took some party leaders rallying together to play the exorcists to defeat that notorious imposition. After that, it has been smooth sailing for the party, a voyage they hope would culminate in their retention of the presidency.

    They struggle to downplay the significance of their inevitable Muslim-Muslim presidential ticket, and look like they will get away with it, not because tempers are not fraying, but because the alternatives are even more reprehensible. To finally defeat their demons and lock the gnomes in bottomless pits, the APC, once they win the presidency for a third time, will have to reorganise their party, structure and make it function like a real political party unencumbered by the distractions of meddlesome governors and presidential aides, and extricate it from the suffocating hold of incompetent party administrators and vested interests. Their only chance of doing that rests on the twin pillars of their candidate, Asiwaju Tinubu, a consummate politician and connoisseur of partisan politics, cohabiting expertly with the emerging and counterbalancing class of progressive governors and stakeholders who clearly played a key role in taming their party’s dangerous predilections in early June just before the primary. But should they lose the February 2023 presidential poll, the party, already fraying at the edges and buffeted by legions of quiet but seething demons, will sunder uncontrollably.

    The outlook for the PDP is, sadly, more dire. While the party still retains enough amperage to scald the ruling party’s head and torso, its failure to reorganise itself after its 2015 loss, its lack of interest in purging its ranks and refining and streamlining its ideology, and its inability to discipline its footloose leaders who had been traversing different political parties like a yo-yo, have all considerably weakened the party and made victory in the coming polls difficult, if not impossible. Seven years out of Aso Villa has proved enough time to dull the party’s senses and fighting instinct. If that time is not to become elongated, party leaders must find a way to rekindle belief in the party, its worldview, and raison d’être. The party was founded on altruism and collegiate leadership. But right from infancy, those principles were abjured by the clique that stole and bastardised the party’s soul. The theft attracted no punishment while the party remained in office and dispensed patronage and quietened revolts using all manner of clever bureaucratic artifices. Once it lost power, however, its leaders became easily disoriented, and the principles upon which so ambitious a party was founded simply withered. That disorientation has produced presidential candidate Atiku Abubakar, who in turn has selected, against the run of play, Ifeanyi Okowa, Governor of Delta State, as running mate.

    It is thus not surprising that after deftly electing their party chairman and conducting a special convention to elect a presidential candidate without rancour and acrimony, the victories had suddenly and quite easily turned pyrrhic. The repudiated and scorned Mr Wike, who came an admirable second, has now become a thorn in their flesh. They disowned him, but have found out how sorely they still need him. The Rivers governor professes himself a party man to the core, but he has lately begun to wonder why his loyalty has gone unrequited, why his joie de vivre is deployed as an idiosyncratic insult to his person, and why he keeps holding the short end of the stick. There are many demons predisposing the party to defeat, but none holds the candle to the Wike weapon. Should he leave them, he would demand his pound of flesh. And for a party already trimmed down to lean meat, that would be disastrous.

    As things stand today, if the APC gets its running mate saga resolved sensibly and without leaving a bitter taste in any party leader’s mouth, it is hard to see them losing. Their demons are more clement and benignant, and their hobgoblins meek as mice. The PDP, on the other hand, will need close to a miracle to avert defeat next year. Should they lose Mr Wike to the bargain, they will need God. Had they been men of prayer, their enemies would quake in their boots. But unfortunately, not only do they objurgate prayer, they seem increasingly atheistic. Now, all this would be inconsequential had they also by dint of inexplicable brilliance become excellent organisers or managers. They are neither. Worse, in their 16 years in office – from the presumptuous Olusegun Obasanjo to the lethargic Umaru Yar’Adua and on to the cavalier and flip-flopping Goodluck Jonathan – the party had laboured to empty itself of anything describable as a soul. How to muster a soul, therefore, and imbue it with enough resolve to give a good fight next February will remain uppermost in their minds.

     

    Kuje attack should never have happened

    IF Nigeria’s security system was as integrated and responsive as officials had led the country to believe, Kuje Custodial Centre should never have been attacked, at least not as successfully and extensively as it was pulverised by Boko Haram militants who freed all 64 of their members incarcerated in the facility. President Muhammadu Buhari, who visited the ransacked prison a day after it was sacked, bemoaned the absence of intelligence. He also asked a number of pertinent questions about the state of readiness of the prison to ward off attacks against the facility, the quality or presence of surveillance systems, and the role of security personnel in defending the facility. But it is not clear that there was no intelligence about the impending attacks, given that multiple sources had suggested that information about a planned attack was passed on to the authorities. Whether the government wants to hear it or not, and as Senate President Ahmad Lawan has suggested, the attack was less a consequence of intelligence failure as it was probably the product of collusion.

    The successful attack indicates quite clearly administrative and organisational failures. High-risk prisoners were incarcerated in the facility; there had been massive attacks and jailbreaks in some states; and Boko Haram in association with bandits were negotiating for prisoner exchange using their comrades in Kuje Prison as bargaining chips; yet the security measures emplaced to secure Boko Haram prisoners were not only tenuous, they were, for a medium security custodial centre, obviously desultory. The past few years have not shown a readiness by any public agency or official to accept responsibility for failures, let alone offer their resignation. So, there is nothing to suggest that despite the president and other officials taking umbrage, the country will sometime in the future get to the bottom of what led to the Kuje debacle and who were responsible. There is indeed no precedent to suggest that someone or a group of individuals will be punished for the global embarrassment the successful attack caused Nigeria and its obviously flatfooted security agencies.

    By now, no one doubts that the insecurity nightmare Nigeria is contending with has grown into an octopus. It will get worse because there are no coherent, intelligent and effective measures to tackle the crisis. The country and its leaders wail over the Kuje embarrassment; but they had shed crocodile tears and wringed their hands over similar and sometimes more catastrophic failures in nearly all parts of the country. By excusing previous failures on the grounds of Libyan collapse, economic distress, and other feeble and futile explanations that seem to connive at killings by favoured groups, the government was either inadvertently or deliberately opening the gates of hell. Officials cannot pretend not to know that the country is today engulfed in near chaos. It is not only engulfed, it is in fact drowning in violence. The Kuje attack is nothing but the most recent manifestation of the virtual total breakdown of the country’s security system.

    It is disrespectful to Nigerians that government officials have waffled over the Kuje attack. The Internal Affairs ministry suggests that prisons were not designed to ward off external attacks. This is piffle. Prisons harbouring high-risk detainees, particularly terrorists, have a duty to put in place foolproof measures to secure their facilities. Kuje is a local government in the nation’s federal capital city, Abuja. It is not in a remote part of Nigeria. It is a dot in a circle. It obviously took extraordinary planning, logistics, and daring, perhaps anchored on internal complicity, to pull off this incredible attack. If the ministry had anticipated this attack because of the high-risk detainees in the facility, it had the leeway to draw on the services of better armed sister agencies. Failure is not an excuse. Surely, as the ministry must have now discovered, there is more to running prisons than name changes. Nigerian Prisons has become Correctional Service. The name change has done nothing to enable the facilities to be better run or, from all indications, better equipped or defended.

    Police Affairs minister Mohammed Dingyadi told the press after Thursday’s Security Council meeting convened by the president that the Boko Haram/ISWAP attackers came better armed and in overwhelming number, which some sources put at about 300. He did not say anything about why it took more than an hour or two to mount any coordinated response to the attack, nor did he say just how many security agents combated the militants. Worse, there is no estimate of the number of Boko Haram attackers killed or injured other than suggesting that the insurgents probably took away their fallen members. Yes, the Police Affairs ministry needed to say something urgently to douse speculations and encourage the country that those saddled with the responsibility of keeping the country safe knew what to do and had the courage to carry out their duties, despite failing the nation repeatedly and in nearly all the 36 states. But it was more necessary that he shed light on the attack than obfuscate it.

    The president was right to visit the Kuje Correctional Centre, and it is curious that he was shocked by what he saw – a prison system that appears derelict and bereft of modern equipment. But whether his outrage will amount to anything or lead to far-reaching changes, especially in light of similar outrages producing no fundamental changes in the past, remains to be seen. He immediately convened a security meeting, as he should. But similar convocations in the past have ended a damp squib, with him resisting needed changes and sticking loyally to his underperforming security appointees. Many critics expect him to sack some of his security chiefs. There is no proof he would make that choice, assuming he can even quickly establish guilt and apportion blame. Nor is it desirable that he should rush into judgement until investigations are completed. Perhaps things will still get to that point. It would have helped the president tremendously if by now some officials had honourably tendered their resignations. But culpable officials are unlikely to take that noble path.

    Ultimately, the president must realise that he bears final responsibility for the Kuje debacle as well as the nation’s collapsing security system. When the insecurity crisis intensified a few years ago, his administration did precious little to curb it. Now the problem has metastasized, especially in the face of official paralysis and general lethargy and incompetence. If he is to be trusted to do something about the Kuje attack, and by extension, the nation’s insecurity nightmare, he must take firm and remedial measures in consonance with his newfound zeal in quickly responding to other national challenges. He will need to seek urgent explanations from his men, ease out those who came up short, make short shrift of their incoherent excuses, and repackage and retool the security system entirely. They have failed him and the country in the past few years; as they are currently constituted, they cannot be trusted or relied on to keep the country safe.

  • Obi, Kwankwaso and political options

    Obi, Kwankwaso and political options

    Before he relinquished his status as placeholder on the Peter Obi Labour Party (LP) presidential ticket, Doyin Okupe, who is also substantively the Director-General of the Obi Presidential Campaign Organisation, derided and dismissed the anticipated alliance between Mr Obi, former Anambra governor, and the presidential candidate of the New Nigerian Peoples Party (NNPP), Rabiu Kwankwaso. The politically savvy Mr Kwankwaso was a two-term (comeback) governor of Kano State and former Defence minister. Dr Okupe suggested that the attempted alliance collapsed on the grounds of zoning and rotation. After eight years of a northerner as president, he argued, it was indefensible to contemplate another northerner as president, perhaps for another eight years. What the eminent physician omits to add is that his party’s presidential candidate is as implacable as Mr Kwankwaso. Both candidates are obsessed with becoming president.

    Dr Okupe was, of course, talking theory when he suggested that rotation should trump any other consideration in determining who takes the presidential ticket. If an alliance was feasible between the LP and NNPP, Mr Obi wanted the presidential ticket for himself, and Mr Kwankwaso to serve as running mate. Theoretically, Dr OKupe was right. It is inconceivable, except you are a deluded member of the main opposition People Democratic Party (PDP), to suggest that it would be okay to give the ticket to a northern aspirant after eight years of Muhammadu Buhari in the presidency. But the PDP believes it is solid enough and inured to political adversities to dare the electorate. But their inurement notwithstanding, and as defeated Rivers State governor Nyesom Wike is showing by his intransigence, even the PDP is having a roiling time pacifying rebellion within its ranks over the disrespect for a zoning principle long associated with the PDP and advocated by its leading lights for decades.

    So, in large measure, Dr OKupe is right to dismiss the short-lived and intense effort to merge tickets between NNPP and LP candidates. However, in politics, the logic of what is right or wrong, sensible or irrational, can take an ambitious politician only so far. Confronted by the political realism propounded by Mr Kwankwaso, if not the exigencies of geopolitical and population dynamics, zoning is, for small and fringe parties, transcended by ethnicity and religion. In suggesting that Mr Obi merge ticket and subsume himself to be running mate on the NNPP ticket, the former Kano governor minced no word in arguing that the northern electorate would be chary of voting for an Igbo candidate. They could tolerate an Igbo man on the ticket as running mate, as indeed they did in 1979, but they would not dare have him as the candidate.

    Perhaps Mr Kwankwaso should have been more reticent in voicing out hidden realities that seem to promote political fractiousness, if not outright bigotry, but he was simply mirroring the current political conditions of the core North. The sanguinary politics of 1966 and its aftermaths are sadly not yet forgotten. The consequences of 1966 are constantly restated, recounted and reinforced down the years to this day. And those consequences are sometimes ventilated or reenacted in the existential struggle between assertive Igbo traders and adamant Hausa hosts, and between the fierce Catholicism of the Igbo and the militant Islamism of the average core northerner. These are divides the country’s leaders have been unable and perhaps unwilling to bridge. Until mutual suspicion is erased, and ethnic groups are educated about the enormous benefits of economic cooperation and social integration, the suspicions will remain, and inconsequential matters will continue to be amplified by little misunderstandings.

    Mr Obi has finally got his running mate, a 46-year-old northerner, one-time senator representing Kaduna North, and founder of Baze University, Abuja, Datti Baba-Ahmed. It is hard to say whether the LP candidate seems sure of making significant impact in the 2023 presidential race, or whether he thinks his running mate will add significant value to the LP ticket. Whatever the case, he and his supporters are ecstatic about the credentials of the running mate, and even rapturous about the sole qualification of the candidate himself – his purported frugality. In some ways, the two gentlemen complement each other, and in fact accentuate the theoretical appeal of their candidacies; but whether they can transcend the intrinsic liability of their ticket and the self-limiting weakness of its ethnic and religious foundations remains to be seen.

    Mr Kwankwaso will now have to forge ahead by himself; yet, even he must also succumb to the annoying limitations of his ticket, regardless of his running mate. Unlike Mr Obi whose social media denizens have popularised him beyond his ethnic identity, Mr Kwankwaso is not really known in the South. Yes, he has some name recognition, and of course southerners have heard the Kwankwasiyya hoopla, but beyond that, he might as well be the next-door pharmacist or social welfare worker.

    Nigerians will now never know what chances a Kwankwaso-Obi ticket stood if an alliance had been cobbled to contest the 2023 presidential election. It is unlikely they would have gone far, in fact, to any appreciable distance. But since they are both heady and have gone their separate ways, what should have constituted their strengths – Kwankwaso’s adept politics, sometimes exaggerated of course, and Obi’s parsimonious but retrogressive management of state resources – are dissipated by their unmanageable ambitions. Overall, they have introduced some amusement into the 2023 race. If politics is entertainment, they will score very high. Unfortunately for both men, politics is a dead serious matter, demanding sacrifice, high concentration and lucubration.

     

    Soludo, Odumeje and Anambra demolitions

    soludo

    ANAMBRA State governor Charles Soludo has been taking some awkward steps in politics lately. Though he did not win office on account of his political acumen, but on account of his potential to recast the state’s economy in the mould of Asian Tigers, he needs to begin developing political tact. A few of the steps he has taken so far give the impression his political weakness might overshadow his economic wizardry. At his inauguration, two vixens fought it out, thus diluting the pomp of his swearing-in ceremony. Then he compounded the matter by empanelling one of the tigresses. Now, his task force empowered to sanitise the chaotic layout of Onitsha went beyond their brief to openly and needlessly assault Prophet Chukwuemeka Ohanaemere, aka, Odumeje, of the Holy Ghost Intervention and Deliverance Ministry, Onitsha, whose church building was partially pulled down.

    As the governor conceded, the problem was not the demolition, but how it was done. Said he: “Yesterday’s outing elicited emotions, not against the government’s decision, but against the imperfect and unprofessional manner in which one of the task force members discharged his lawful duty. This is deeply regrettable, and it will never happen again. I have directed that the task force personnel involved in the abuse of Prophet Chukwuemeka Ohanaemere (Odumeje) be treated in accordance with the public conduct rules that he consistently violated.” The governor may work hard to rebuild confidence in his administration over this needless and embarrassing assault, but surely he must understand that  a few more slips like this, whether directly by his office or indirectly by task forces and other government agents, could cost him dearly.

    The Onitsha assault shows how badly Nigeria is encumbered with errant and malicious law enforcement agents who have lost all sense of decorum. In the age of social media, malfeasance does not go unreported. Since Prof Soludo has promised to treat the matter with all the sternness and transparency it demands, the public will expect that he will do so swiftly and unsparingly, hoping that such a brutal and uncivilised display should never occur again. A part of Odumeje’s church building may have been rightly demolished for planning violation, but it does not stop the governor from personally visiting the prophet, regardless of public opinion of the nature and doctrine of his church, and tendering an official apology over the assault. It is cal

  • Adeboye’s anticipated allegory?

    Adeboye’s anticipated allegory?

    It would be recalled that Pastor Enoch Adejare Adeboye was one of the voices that clamoured for restructuring of Nigeria to avoid a break up. This was in October 2020. As a true elder statesman, and a patriot, with access to the seat of power, he met President Muhammadu Buhari in Aso Rock in August 2020 behind closed doors. The outcome of that meeting was not divulged to the public but analysts believed that issues such as insecurity and restructuring of the country were on the front burner in their tête-à-tête … However, it will take passionate, patriotic and progressive leaders who know and value the true prophets amongst them to emerge so Nigerians would not wander and waste in the wilderness as the journey of forty days took the hard – hearted and rebellious people of Israel forty years. Are we not on the route to that wilderness wandering whereas there is a true prophet amongst us? (John Ekundayo, in an excerpt from: “Pastor Enoch Adejare Adeboye @ 80: Is there not a prophet amongst them?” (Part 1), Nation, 27th February 2022).

    Every first Sunday of the month, expectedly the church is usually filled to the brim. The atmosphere is ecstatic, elated and expectant. Men and women are in their best sartorial splendour with the church’s pulpit and pews populated with bright colours simply and seemingly shaping congregants’ mood and faith. However, on the 5th June 2022 gruesome and gory attack on innocent worshippers of St. Francis Catholic Church, Owo, Ono State was a dastard and demonizing act carried out with a heart of stone. It was alleged that up to 40 souls were needlessly sent to early graves in that singular incident. It would be the first of such unwarranted attacks on worshippers in a southwest state of Nigeria! It is unfathomable!! This columnist completed his secondary school at Oyemekun Grammar School, Akure, Ondo State. He has some men as classmates and senior colleagues from Owo. In a chat with one of them, he pointedly told this columnist that the venue of the attack was within 250 metres of the Olowo’s (the monarch of the ancient town) palace. What an effrontery by the terrorists in the heart of Yorubaland on a Sunday?

    Recently, Zamfara State was on fire with marauding terrorists maiming, kidnapping and killing innocent citizens that disrupted both social and economic activities in the state. The agrarian state supposedly to be awash in expected ecstasy in this rainy season, as majority of indigenes are farmers, was sickened and saddened. Many have fled their native homesteads or farmlands as they consider the “safety first” slogan! The man in the saddle in the state, Governor Bello Matawalle, as widely written in this column last week, would no more “sit-down-look” (apology to the late, Chief Bola Ige, the Cicero of Ibadan), despite the vehement and vociferous voices of critics, he analogously acted instinctively like a proverbial goat chased against the wall. In Yoruba common parlance, such a distraught goat is wont to furtively and ferociously face the attacker damning the consequences! Zamfara recently launched her much advertised Community Protection Guards (CPG) similar to the civilian Joint Task Force (JTF) in Borno and the Amotekun Corps in southwestern Nigeria.

    Anticipated Analogy or Allegory?

    The referred man of God, the humble and honourable, Pastor Enoch Adejare Adeboye, not a man that loves or admires media klieg light, was once again on the front pages of major newspapers. It was reported by some media houses that he declared “fire-for-fire” on terrorists. Does this translate to calling for arms to combat these heartless and horrendous homos sapiens? It was a truism that the phrase “fire-for-fire” was uttered at the Holy Communion Service, in which this columnist was a congregant, however, there was a misnomer in taking it for the congregants or worshippers to arm themselves with guns in confronting the terrorists. Expatiating further, at the Holy Ghost Service the following day and the Thanksgiving Service of Sunday, 3rd July 2022, televised globally, the revered and referred elder statesman succinctly and saliently clarified what he meant in plain terms. In Biblical times, the disciples sometimes misunderstood the message of the Lord Jesus Christ, making Him ask: “Are ye also yet without understanding?” (Matt 15v16). He reiterated that the import of his analogous statement is that there is nowhere in the Bible that declares that a child of God cannot, and should not, defend himself. Going further, he stated that though the Bible says that if you as a Christian you are slapped on the right, what should you do? The Bible says allegorically that you should turn the left. Then, he rhetorically asked after your assailant had slapped you on the left, what are you to do? The congregation was more or less expectedly silent. He said when God is silent on a matter, then, he is saying: over to you. The apparent anticipated response from the massive and mammoth congregation resulted in applause, more or less signalling affirmation. The proverbial or analogous distraught goat again called to the context! Revisiting and reflecting on Zamfara and the controverted Matawalle’s directive, where are we, as a concocted and convoluted federalism, going from here? Is the government at the centre not seemingly floundering, faltering and subsequently heading to the precipice, if proper action is not taken before the 2023 elections as more states follow the footsteps of Matawalle and many religious leaders rightly prepare their people for instinctive self-defense? After all, even God Almighty allows the eye to defend itself against intruders and invaders by erecting automatic eye-valves (gates) to shut the eye at the approach of such daring creatures. There are pertinent, salient and soul stirring questions that followers, at this juncture, would like to ask: Is the intelligence apparatus of this country dead? Do we need to hire savvy and skillful professionals to salvage us from the ruins as there are seeming signals of infiltrations within the rank and file of virtually all government agencies dealing with security? Is the situation so simply and squarely distasteful and damning? The security situation is seemingly scary partly because the government apparently did not see it as a vexing issue, ab initio. Presently, it is overtly overwhelming, overbearing and overstretching, yet the almighty Federal Government often appeal to citizens that her “men and officers are on top of the game” – usual euphemism while the country is bleeding and burning beneath the beautiful fashionistas’ facial appearance of our leaders!

    Any Implication for direction of voting come 2023 elections?

    The Governor of Ondo State, Arakunrin Oluwarotimi Akeredolu for the umpteenth time has stated that the way out of the security imbroglio is for each state to be allowed to have her own police. As the Chairman of the Southern Governors’ Forum (SGF), he was merely reiterating part of the communique that formed the May 2021 Asaba Declaration of the governors from the south. This columnist will like the followers to keep pushing on the discourse, debates and dialogues on the amendment of the constitution before the incumbent President Muhammadu Buhari hands over the reins of power come 29th May 2023 to his successor. However, at this juncture, it is worthwhile to inquire: why is our honourable National Assembly (NASS) maintaining a dignified silence on this matter of national importance? I recall the interview on Arise TV with the Governor of Ekiti State, Dr. John Kayode Fayemi, who doubles as the Chairman, Nigeria Governors’ Forum (NGF), pointedly stating that the NASS has hitherto not brought up any bill on the State Police matter. It will be good for NASS to “soro soke” (raise her voice) on this matter of national concern. Be that as it may, in the well-circulated list of the areas to be touched regarding amendment to the antiquated and atavistic 1999 Constitution (as amended), there was apparently none that impinges on state policing! What is our problem? Why are we expecting different results whilst we keep doing the same things in our country?

    In concluding this piece, as elections into offices beckon in 2023, the mass of followers, the electorate, should demand from every serious aspirant on the ballot what they want to offer regarding security specifically on the issue of state policing. The followers should not just rest on the aspirants promises but vet their manifestos and demand topmost ones among them to sign memorandum of understanding (MOU) with notable groups and communities in order for them to be committed to acting according to the social contract bonding them with the followers when the winners among them eventually assumed offices. It is high time we demanded accountability from contenders on the road to 2023 if we are not to recurringly produce accidental legislators, governors and presidents!

    John Ekundayo,  can be reached via 08155262360 (SMS only) and drjmoekundayo@hotmail.com

     

  • Why represent the National Water Resources Bill?

    Why represent the National Water Resources Bill?

    In the absence of  any 11th hour miracle, whenever an assessment of performance of the Buhari government is carried out,  as from May 29 next year, using economy, security and corruption as indices, President Muhammadu Buhari may likely go down as a failed president.

    If this happened, the legislative arm of government would largely be blamed.  Firstly, for failing to invoke the doctrine of checks and balances to ensure that the president discharged his statutory obligations in line with national interest and aspirations.  Secondly, for failing to halt his breach of the federal character principle, and thirdly, for failing to interrogate the executive for sliding economic indices, worsening corruption, rising insecurity, capital flight, mounting loans, multiple tax burden, unemployment, and decaying infrastructure, including poor electricity and education.

    For these flops, the 9th National Assembly is an accessory to the country’s current woes and, therefore cannot, in any way, be absolved.  The legislature is an arm of government, co – equal, free and independent  of  executive control, yet made itself no more than an extension, or a mere apron string of the president” – Dr Mike Owhoko, in ‘Thumbs down for the 9th National Assembly’, The Nation, Tuesday, July 5, 2022.

    Personally nothing, not the present punishing fuel scarcity which, despite the trillions voted for petrol subsidy, Timipre Silva now tells us will continue, ad infinitum,  the galloping inflation or the complete ruination of the Naira which is now about the weakest currency on the continent, depresses me like President Muhammadu Buhari always giving bragging rights to those who, during the 2015 and 2019 presidential campaigns, saw nothing good in him, while some of us celebrated him to high heavens,  sure he would rid Nigeria of insecurity, fight corruption to a standstill and restore sanity to the economy before the end of his second, and final, term which is now a mere 10 months away.

     

    Looking back now, we could not have been more wrong.

    As attested to by Dr Owokho in the above quote, President Buhari is not all to blame as the National Assembly, particularly the 9th, has been completely servile and so deserving of the guillotine, for sleeping on duty while the presidency had a full day, treating Nigeria like it  is made up of only the North, or for Fulanis. If only our legislators have been alive to their responsibilities, and aware that,  like the president they too are elected, and represent their people, Nigeria would not be where it is today.

    In their virtual absence, a very attentive hegemonic mafia crept in, and has since been busy actively liaising with every section of government they could leverage on to make government work mostly for only a part of the country.

    Apart from the presideni’s lopsided appointments over which we no longer need shed tears or  waste any valuable time, even though as a result of which you would hardly see President Buhari hold officials who fail in their responsibilities accountable.

    Other policies which the  Buhari administration attempted to foist on the country include, but are not limited to: RUGA, which would have  planted Fulani herdsmen settlements in every part of  the country, grazing routes, which were intended to link grazing colonies, a National Livestock Transformation Plan for which the government was prepared to seize lands (belonging to states) as it actually attempted to do in Benue state, and the ever recurring National Water Resources Bill which has recently, according to trending news, again been re-presented by the President after it was earlier rejected by the no- nonsense Saraki – led National Assembly. Incidentally, all these programmes were for the  benefit of Fulani herdsmen, Nigerian as well as foreign ones, as if that is all the government  lives for.

    Meanwhile, at the last count, Nigerian Universities have been shut down for over 140 days with nothing concrete being done to reverse the ugly situation, nor has the president  demonstrated any personal anxiety over something that is guaranteed to maximally, negatively impact the future of Nigeria, beginning with its teeming youths.

    Below is how a trending Whatsapp post announced the news that President Buhari has re – presented the National Water Resources Bill to the ever obsequious National Assembly which you can be sure will, most probably, lap it up with all enthusiasm, eager never to offend the president:

    “President Buhari has submitted an executive bill to the National Assembly for the Federal Government to take control of all waterways and their banks. It will be recalled that he first brought it during  his first term and that the National Assembly under the leadership of Saraki and Dogara flatly rejected it”.

    “Now with a rubber stamp National Assembly  President Buhari has again returned the bill, intending to grab the banks of all Nigerian rivers for his people”. “Of particular attention is the proposed annexation of all the lands adjoining the river banks. These are all ancestral lands belonging to families. Without a doubt, President Buhari would, as soon as the bill is passed, hand over permanent grazing rights to his kinsmen, the Fulanis, herdsmen, who will then commence an expansion/conquest of the hinterland”. “The bill is also  intended to  abrogate the Land Use Act which vests all lands in state governors. This will amount to bringing grazing colonies through the backdoor”. “Nigerians must rise up to resist this obnoxious bill aimed at enthroning and legalising anarchy.”

    No close watcher of events since  the summit of Fulanis from 16 west African countries in Abuja, early June,  would be surprised at this development.

    While the meeting might have been well intentioned, it has since coincided with increased incidences of kidnapping and mass killings, as we saw in the gruesome attacks in Owo, Ondo state, and in Shiroro where each accounted for about 40 people killed. There has also been an increase in the kidnapping of religiously linked persons, especially Roman Catholic priests, as if these criminals are acting out a script.

    It has just been reported, for instance, that gun men have  just killed the two sons of Pastor Daniel Umaru, of the Ekklesiyar Yan’uwa Njairi Nigeria (EYN) in Mubi LGA of Adamawa state, while he was shot and his 13-year-old daughter abducted.

    These criminals who claim to own Nigeria are obviously becoming edgy at the thought of President Buhari’s tenure coming to an end soon. This is because they know that with his exit, no Nigerian president, even if Fulani, would ever again have the audacity they presently have, as no matter how many hundreds attacked, they hardly ever get arrested to face the law of the land.

    Back to the re presented National Water Resources Bill and my task has been really made somewhat easy by the fact that this government is obviously hard of hearing. Otherwise, even if its minister of justice will not waste his precious time reading newspaper columnists,  a diligent one should, at the very least read, as well as  internalise, the views of a lawyer of Femi Falana’s standing, particularly, on a subject as controversial as the National Water Resources Bill.

    It is my pleasure, therefore,  to again, quote Falana SAN, at some length, as I did in my article of 22 August, 2021 titled: “The Story of Two Bills: What are these ministers of Northern extraction up to?’

    I wrote, therein: “Last week, I had cause to peripherally mention this bill while discussing how reticent state governors have been in confronting the Buhari government in areas where even a blind man could see that the government had over reached itself. Happily that appears to be changing, with the 36 state governments jointly sueing  the federal government at the Supreme Court over an alleged illegal diversion of over N1.8 trillion in recovered loot. Below are highlights of theNational  Water  Resourcss Bill as recently presented by Femi Falana, SAN: “Section 13 of the Bill empowers the Minister of Water Resources to formulate national policy and water resources management strategy to guide the integrated planning, management, development, use and conservation of the nation’s water resources and provide guidance for formulation of hydrological area resources strategies under section 94 of this bill.

    “The Bill recognises the right of Nigerians to take water from a water source to which the public has free access for the use of his household or for watering domestic livestock and for the purposes of subsistence fishing or for navigation, to the extent that such use is not inconsistent with this Bill or any other existing law. Section 75 states that no corporate organisation or individual shall commence borehole drilling business in Nigeria unless such driller has been issued a Water Well Driller’s Licence by the commission. The Bill creates a commission to regulate, protect, conserve and control water resources identified in this Bill as water sources crossing state boundaries in accordance with section 2 as well as the first schedule of this act for equitable and sustainable social and economic development and to maintain environmental integrity. The Commission shall also regulate the allocation, supply and distribution of water resources for all uses, and to promote equitable, sustainable and efficient best practices and conduct. Section 37 provides that whatever the commission decides is binding and enforcement may be done by the federal high court “as if the decision is a judgment of such court provided that the commission has issued a certificate to the complainant for leave to proceed to the court for enforcement of the decision.

    Stiff penalties have been prescribed for contraventions of the provisions of the Bill by individuals and corporate bodies.

    The above was drawn up by a legal draftsman who was either ignorant of the following illegalities, or so cocksure of their success, he just wouldn’t be bothered: Contrary to the provisions of the proposed Bill the Federal government cannot authorise or licence persons who may want to sink boreholes outside the federal capital territory. In Attorney General of Lagos State v Attorney General of the Federation the Supreme Court held that the power over physical planning in any state of the federation is exclusively vested in the state government and that the National Assembly lacks the power to legislate on the physical planning outside the federal capital territory. In Attorney-General of Lagos State v Attorney-General of the Federation (2003) 4 WRN 124 the Supreme Court (per Uwaifo JSC held that “In the circumstances, I have to say that Professor Osinbajo is right, in my view, in his submission that urban and regional planning for the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja is within the exclusive legislative function of the National Assembly but only by virtue of section 299(a) conferring residual power on it and not the controversial section 20 of the constitution. Similarly, each State House of Assembly has the exclusive function to make planning laws and regulations for the State under its residual power. It must follow that the National Assembly cannot make a law in the form and to the detail and territorial extent of the present Nigerian Urban and Regional Planning Decree No.88 of 1992. To do so will be in clear breach of the principles of federalism and an incursion into the legislative jurisdiction of the States. But it can make planning laws for the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja only on the basis of its residual powers. Again, the National Assembly cannot enact any law, in contravention of the constitution, imposing any responsibility on a state and expect obedience to such a law. It is a noncontroversial political philosophy of federalism that the federal government does not exercise supervisory authority over the state governments.”

     

     

    “In granting the reliefs sought by the plaintiff the Supreme Court held that urban and regional planning as well as physical development were residual matters within the exclusive legislative and executive competence of the state governments. It is therefore submitted that on the authority of the Supreme Court judgment the provision of the Bill seeking to confer power on the federal government to give approval or licence for digging boheholes in any part of the country is illegal and unconstitutional.

    It  is trite law that the Land Use Act is one of the laws  entrenched in the Constitution by the defunct military junta. To that extent, it enjoys statutory flavour and  cannot be altered via the National Water Resource Bill or  through any other bill. In other words, the bill is illegal in so far as it seeks to take over water resources on landed properties without amending  section 315 of the constitution in accordance with  section 9 thereof. In Nkwocha v Governor of Anambra State [1984] 1 SCNLR 634 at 652

    the Supreme Court held that the Land Use Act is not an integral part of the constitution but claims the special protection of section 9(2) of the constitution in terms of its amendment. It was however made clear by the court that the land comprised in a state is vested in the governor of that state”.

    Need I say more after the legal guru has so comprehensively handled the matter?

    Yes, of course.

    In concluding many of my articles, I have always wished President Buhari well, especially out of office. I will not stop doing so.

    But in all honesty, now that the end of his tenure is being counted, no longer in years, but months, it is important that he relies less, and less on insular, and ethnically motivated advisers and public servants whose loyalty is shifty at best. This is because it is only his name that will be on the lips of history. It is, therefore, important that he now resolves to rule for Nigeria, and not for only a part of it.

    He still has more than enough time to make amends, and the place to start is to withdraw that Bill today.

    Again, I wish him well.

     

     

  • A great thespian at eighty

    A great thespian at eighty

    If a man is diligent in his work, he will not only walk before kings and royalties, he will become a king and royalty in his own right. For the better part of this past week, the art and culture community in Nigeria, the grizzled purveyors of sacred tradition and the surviving illuminati of the Ori Olokun Theatre, have been celebrating one of their own who had just attained the historic age of eighty. That is a whole decade or ten clear years beyond the allotted benchmark of three scores and ten.

    It has been a moveable feast; a remarkable enactment of the Alarinjo Theatre but this time on the wheels. The long drawn fiesta exploded into life last Monday at the bucolic and serene Ipara homestead of the master crooner. All the great and good people of the culture industry were there to honour one of their own; an authentic original. The ceremony was billed to culminate in a sensational show stopper at the Freedom Square, Ikoyi last night.

    In the early hours of last Monday, this columnist placed a call to Tunde Fagbenle, the hell-raising aficionado of culture and longstanding friend and associate of Jimi Solanke. After the customary exchange of satanic banter and broadside, yours sincerely, bleary-eyed and sleep-starved after a twelve hour transatlantic shuttle, asked the former Punch columnist where he was going to be for the day.

    “ Where else can one be except at Ipara with Jimi Show, or are you a mad man?” the choleric Igbajo nobleman of Ijesha extraction bawled over the phone sending jitters to the spine. “Haba, Baba kilagbe, kileju?” one responded in mock reverence. You can trust Fagbenle to pick the tone of false respect and the sneering inflection.

    “Tani baba e? O to golotogoloto bayi o ni baba?” (Who is your father as big and bulky as you are you have no father?) came the blistering response. When one cited the raging inferno around Ogere of the previous night as an excuse, it invited a more damning expletive from the old contrarian. One quickly dived for cover.

    It all seemed like yesterday. But it was exactly twenty years earlier in 1992 when Papa Jimi celebrated his sixtieth birthday at the veranda of his modest flat at the Road Seven Extension of the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife with the selfsame Tunde Fagbenle as the chairman of the occasion and yours sincerely in attendance.

    With a gifted local band in attendance, it was a great night of singing, dancing and bawdy merrymaking. After the party, yours sincerely played host to Fagbenle who spent the rest of the night cursing and bemoaning the loss of his money to local bounty hunters who besieged him on the dance floor while he was busy gambolling and frolicking. All entreaties from his wife came to naught.

    At that point in time, Baba Agba was already a household name in Nigeria. He had made his mark with sterling contribution to the industry. But fame had not been accompanied by much prosperity. A measure of that was to come tumbling his way later.  In those days, you looked into his faraway and occasionally quizzical frown and you guessed that the great man was far from finished.

    A restless soul, sticker for excellence and perfectionist to the core, he was to spend the next twenty years consolidating his rich oeuvre. He had become a master story teller and raconteur of exceptional fecundity. Given all the plaudits and accolades that have come his way this past week, it can be said that the young man from Ipara has transformed into the grand old man of the Nigerian culture industry.

    Talented lyricist, gifted musician, a raconteur of genius, master story teller and dramatist extraordinaire, Jimi Solanke is unarguably one of the greatest cross-over artists ever produced by this country. As a teenager barely out of secondary school, the tall lithe chap from Ipara in Ijebu-Remo plunged himself into the industry with the vigour and enthusiasm of youth. He was a cultural missionary who discovered his mission early in life.

    His unbridled enthusiasm for the arts and music, and the nocturnal forays that must accompany this earned him a summary expulsion from the household of his guardian in Ibadan who could not understand how and why a young man from a well-connected and notable background, with a lineage that stretches back to the ages, will choose a life of music and revelry over more decent and prestigious careers such as Law, Medicine and Education.‘

    But the young man was not going to be detained by temporary setbacks or deterred by transient censures. Nothing was going to prevent him from the pursuit of excellence in his chosen field. He had been guided to his calling by some inner voice of certitude. No amount of early humiliation or earthly excommunication was going to stop him. The combination of singing, dancing and acting was a jealous mistress which does not brook faithlessness or lack of higher seriousness.

    Despite the fact that his name and reputation preceded him, our first encounter with Jimi Solanke was full of drama and surprises. As a fresh star-struck undergraduate at the then University of Ife in late 1971, one had gone to watch a “Command performance” of Ola Rotimi’s memorable rendition of the tragedy that struck the Benin people in 1897 and the last moments in office of their heroic and exemplary monarch, Ovonramwen Nogbaisi.

    It was, to say the least, a commanding performance. Jimi Solanke electrified the stage with his mesmerizing royal gait, his magnificent oratory and sheer bravura. There was something manic and possessed about it all. It was as if the great thespian exhumed Nogbaisi’s royal cadaver and breathed life into it. The sonorous wailing of women in the background; the terminal gongs of terminated empire added to the eerily unreal atmosphere as one was transported back to the ancient palace.

    In all the life of this columnist, this was the first time one was seeing the actor outclass the acted, or the copied surpassing the original copy. The only other occasion one can recall was George. C Scott, the great American actor, playing General George Patton, the great American Second World War Tank commander. It was a performance destined for the history books.

    Such was the brilliance of Scott’s performance in this film, the shaman-like self-assurance and the dare devil swagger, that when the real General Patton appeared in a cameo, one felt very sorry for him indeed. Till date one cannot recall the memory of the great American military genius without the image of George Scott interspersing. Neither can one think of the great Benin ruler without a recall of the man from Ipara.

    After that scintillating performance, Jimi Solanke could do no wrong in the eye of his youthful admirer. He was like a secular deity. Reports began to filter in of his heroic derring-do in the political department during the infamous wetie insurrection in the old West.

    Imagine the playful and apolitical actor-musician as the mythical driver of the mythical vehicle from which an equally mythical personage launched his famous assault on a radio station which briefly interrupted the broadcast with a fiery denunciation. Yet to the best of our knowledge, our man never boasted or bragged about his exploits.

    There were also reports of youthful romantic escapades which merely deepened one’s fascination. A former classmate at Ife later told the columnist that after she parted ways with Papa Jimi to hook up with a newly arrived officer at the Federal Cabinet Office, Jimi would change the beat once the new couple arrived at any gig in which he was playing and launch into an old Julius Araba classic.

    O gba’ya Oya, o gba’ya Esu

    O gba’ya Sango meta, meta meta

      Oya a ya’le e, esu a ya’le

      Sango a fi e sofo……..

    Such are the ways of musicians and dramatists of genius. Another lady friend of the columnist told him that when her husband, a great socialite of the closing decade of the last century, had a child out of wedlock he had approached the great commander himself to play at the naming ceremony, the evangelist declined citing reasons of religion and Christianly charity. But the great Egin crooner would have none of that nonsense. He not only agreed, he went ahead to perform.

    But on subsequent encounters at parties whenever the lady tried to give him a whipping look of disapproval and disappointment, the master musician would suddenly change the beat, cantering and capering to great self-delight as he crooned:

    Ototo larin wa, ototo larin wa

       Mo sebi ile aiye lapade ara wa

    To return to base, it was not long afterwards that Papa Jimi left the shores of Nigeria for a sojourn in America to try his luck and fortune. It was neither a fulfilling nor an entirely happy interlude. The west, and America in particular, is always too constricted and restricted to contain authentic African talents without deodorising and sanitizing the potency of their gifts to conform with the demands of a cultural particularism cleverly disguised as universalism or globalism.

    In the case of an African original like Jimi and perhaps several native African artists before and after him, it was like trying to re-engineer and reconfigure a fully formed embryo. It was going to be a bridge too far. It did not take too long for the singing birds and dancing simians of Ipara to recall and reclaim their own. Jimi decided to cut to the chase. It was a fortuitous decision.

    In the event, America’s loss was Nigeria and Africa’s cultural gain. Yours sincerely was divinely positioned to witness the return of the native. In 1979, one was privileged to give a ride to the returning thespian from Agodi Gate to the then University of Ife in a refurbished and reconditioned Passat LS car. Not being well-known or familiar with him at that point in time, this is not an event Papa Jimi would probably recall. But it is true, very true.

    It was morning yet on creativity’s day. Jimi’s greatest artistic and musical exploits lay ahead of him. As he packed his formidable frame into the passenger seat of the car, Baba Agba remained quietly defiant and with his imperious visage unbowed and unfazed by temporary adversity. Recalling the dramatic extravaganza of Ovonramwen eight years earlier, one was still too star struck to conduct any meaningful conversation with the august personage in the car.

    What remains to be said is that in all this, an authoritarian father-figure looms in the background constantly whipping a recalcitrant prodigy into line. It is a source of tension and constant psychological unease, but it is also the lynchpin of great imaginative fecundity. As in the Yoruba art of facial branding, the beauty comes after the brutalization. This remote and unsparing patriarch figure is the source and inspiration of arguably Jimi’s greatest songs: Baba Agba and Bara eni joye.

    In ending, if one were to compare Jimi Solanke and Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, two of the greatest Yoruba artistic geniuses ever, one can say that while Fela committed straightforward class suicide without caring a hoot about either the Yoruba traditional aristocracy or its contemporary political elite, Solanke remains a rebel traditional aristocrat very much rooted in the culture and tradition of his people. Having reached the pinnacle of human existence, here is wishing Baba Agba many happy returns of the 4th of July.

  • A very British political assassination

    A very British political assassination

    It is a cruel irony that that it has taken the murder of the former Japanese Prime minister by a deranged contemporary to sweep the political defenestration of Boris Johnson off the front pages of global news. No two politicians could have been more dissimilar in outlook or more different in temperament.

    Shinzo Abe was a quintessential Japanese patriot; a tame, courtly and princely descendant of Japanese post-war political aristocracy, his grandfather having been Prime minister while his father was Foreign Minister. A descendant of remote Turkish immigrants, Boris Johnson is a typical rogue chancer of no sterling political pedigree; a wild cad who saw political life in terms of the main chance rather than an ennobling vision of the society.

    There was always a chance that he was going to bring down the entire British establishment through one act of extravagant indiscretion or that he might decide to take everybody down in a Samsonite huff after a typical stunt has gone catastrophically awry or after a major misfiring from his staccato bursts of bluff and insolence.

    The British political establishment and its political panjandrums could only watch in pained silence and quiet affront as another typical upper class lout takes the entire society to the cleaners and as mounting political scandals became the enduring legacy of an undeniably gifted fellow who knows how to con the masses without being able to control his own primitive passions. Permanently dishevelled and meticulously shabby in appearance, the old Etonian charmed them with sheer chutzpah.

    It was a classic recipe for disaster. The tame and proper British society has always been fascinated by aristocratic brats who cock a snook at them and who operate at the margins of law and order. It was akin to watching a snake and the snake-charmer. He held them spellbound because he was plumbing at the depths of societal contradictions and moral failings.

    It is hard for any society to rise above its own prejudices. It was only when they are at the brink and when disaster begins to knock at the door that they begin to ask questions. Brexit has failed to deliver on its promises.

    The economy was in a shambles and the old order has been disordered by Johnson’s political cronyism which privileges personal loyalty to friends at the expense loyalty to the larger political society. This is what the leading columnist of a leading British magazine has dismissed as a “chumocracy”, a government of chums by chums and for chums. Good old Eton and its proverbial dormitory and playground have struck again.

    Those who know the outgoing Prime minister very well and have been watching his resistible rise to political stardom have been warning and shouting from the rooftop that a political disaster was loading. It came this past week as the proverbial thief appeared to have taken too much for the owner not to notice. You must give this to the British establishment. When roused, it knows exactly what to do. It was a typically British political assassination.

    Those who know how these things work had predicted that Boris Johnson was operating a government by overdraft after he scraped through the last vote of confidence. He had tried his best through the usual combination of bluff, intimidation and blustery to stay on after the initial spate of resignations. But after the spate became a cataclysmic avalanche, Johnson knew there was nowhere to hide.

    In the end, let us just say with the ancient Greeks that character is fate both at the personal and national levels. Just as the heroes of Greek tragedy are eventually suborned by their character flaws as we have seen in the case of Boris Johnson, great nations are also sometimes laid low by national peccadilloes. The coup that saw off Boris Johnson has ended in a typically British constitutional fudge which has seen the Prime minister hang on to power precariously and perilously.

    But many vow that the system has enough inbuilt mechanism to forestall the outgoing leader’s capacity for mischief and cunning brinkmanship. They have signed his death warrant but have allowed him to choose the execution date. Nobody can beat the former colonial masters when it comes to political gaming. So long then, Boris.