The Nation Newspaper

Category: Sunday

  • Mama Igosun opens a new front with Gbabi-magbabe

    Mama Igosun opens a new front with Gbabi-magbabe

    As Easter festivities got underway, yours sincerely curled up in bed thinking of happier times when the mere thought of Easter approaching brought sweet expectations of merry-making and fresh mangoes; frejon and jollof rice; fanciful masquerades and eager pilgrims to designated Galilees.

    And then all hell broke loose. After some thunderous raps on the door, an angry and frustrated-looking Mama Igosun charged in like a furious bull. Yours sincerely stirred uneasily in bed wondering what could have roused the devil in the old woman on such an occasion.

    “Ah good morning mama. Hope all is well? And Good Friday to you”, snooper opened calmly, trying to sweet-talk the great amazon.

    “Akanbi, whether Friday good or him no good, that one no concern me. That one na him papa palaver . Wetin concern me be say I wan go home today today. I don tire patapata for dis yeye nonsense. Make Gbabi take me to Igosun after I don drink palm wine for Yemetu Aladorin. Abi kilode gangan?” the old woman screamed.

    The outburst took yours sincerely by surprise. One had thought that the old woman had stabilized and had reconciled herself to the possibility of spending the rest of her life in Lagos. Mama had been badly shaken by the Covid-19 scourge which took away all her surviving friends in Ibadan and environ.

    Mama herself had barely survived the pandemic, often lapsing into long periods of death-like stillness and uncommunicative brooding. But she rallied heroically, her greatest disappointment being the failure of the Igboho uprising . Long after the boy fled into exile, the old woman could be heard in the dead of the night bemoaning her loss and lambasting the spirit of Yoruba ancestors for sleeping while on duty.

    It must be noted that mama had been immensely helped on her way to recovery by the arrival of the new part-time driver, a gamey and entertaining crook with missing incisors known as Gbabi-magbabe. A recuperating NNDP thug form the First Republic, Gbabi-Magbabe had been inherited from the family stable of stalwarts and strongmen from that era, having seen action in all the celebrated flashpoints of muscular contentions: Itaasin, Itutaba, Labo, Mushin, Tonkere etc

    Most mornings, he could be found washing snooper’s old reliable while listening to the ancient music of Ade Gator, a celebrated musician of Oke Ogun extraction, with a dog-eared amulet dangling ominously from his pocket if he was not running strange errands to procure stranger culinary condiments for the old woman.

    “Ah mama, I think we have agreed that you will stay with us till the end”, snooper responded with a sweet mien trying to cajole the old contrarian.

    “Which yeye nonsense be dat and whose end be dat? Wo, Akanbi let me tell you na interval be the end of all film for Scala at Sabo”, the old woman screamed.

    “But mama, you have an appointment with the ear, nose and throat specialist at the hospital tomorrow”, snooper reminded the implacable matriarch.

    “Leave me alone o jare. Na Igosun I wan go today today. I don hear enough. I don smell enough and I don long-throat enough for dis yeye kontri,” the old woman exploded. It was at this point that Gbabi-Magbabe returned with the day’s offering from Arepo market.

    “Iya Agba, na only Olu Beje (Beje mushroom) dey market”, the old crook rumbled as he set the sack down with exaggerated caution. The old woman sniffed and frisked the content with suspicion.

    “Wo Gbabi, I hope you have not brought the poison dem dey use to kill all dem Yoruba oba”, Mama shrieked at the poor fellow.

    “Awusubillahi!!” the gap-toothed former street-fighter protested. Ironically, on a visit to the revered Oyo monarch penultimate Saturday, this subject of royal poisoning also came up. The celebrated scholar-monarch, arguably the greatest repository of Yoruba tradition around, plumped for a local species of opium. When yours sincerely asked him to expatiate, the great king responded with a devastating grin of complicity.

     (To be continued. Watch out for the encounter with Iku Baba yeye)   

  • FG and Plateau, Benue killings

    FG and Plateau, Benue killings

    As expected, the presidency has again denounced the killings on the plateau. Over 100 persons were killed and scores abducted last Sunday when bandits/terrorists invaded some 10 Plateau State communities in Kanam and Wase local government areas. Warning that the killers would neither be spared nor forgiven, President Muhammadu Buhari called on ‘our citizens, the people of Plateau State’ to expose the killers and their sponsors. Sunday’s massacre was, of course, not the first time there would be killings in the state, or in neighbouring Benue State, where another set of about 23 people were slain last week. Despite entreaties by government, and occasional strong-arm measures by perplexed security agencies, the perpetrators of what the president described as ‘dastardly acts’ have remained intransigent and unfazed by the uproar that constantly follows their atrocities. On the whole, however, the federal response has been considerably tame.

    In August last year, when some 22 or 25 Ondo-bound travelers reported to be Muslims were attacked and murdered allegedly by Irigwe youths and militants in the Jos North area of the state, the whole federal apparatus, including the Inspector-General of Police, the governor and other security chiefs, descended on the state in a show of rage and fury. This time, there has been no commensurate show of anger or helicopter surveillance. Perhaps everyone is tired of the relentless killings and desensitised to the deaths of innocent Nigerians. Other than the press statement from the presidency, it is unlikely that further actions will be taken in exposing and prosecuting the killers. After all, the presidency has turned to the natives to help expose the killers, even though the indigenes have disclosed that the perpetrators of the violence came from a nearby herdsmen colony foisted on them by the state and federal governments.

    Thousands have been killed in both Plateau and Benue States in the past few years in pockets of conflicts over grazing land. When the killings began in earnest, rather than the federal government enforcing the law, officials and security chiefs excused the killings on the grounds that states and farming communities had encroached on grazing lands. The government suggested insensitively that indigenes must learn to live in peace with herdsmen and settlers. One official even suggested that it was better to trade land for security, for land would be of no use to a dead landowner. All sorts of malfeasant excuses and explanations were promoted by the federal government to justify the killings rather than enforce the law. Encouraged by federal diffidence in enforcing the law, the attackers, some of them aliens, have run rampant over the two states, killing, maiming, burning, pillaging and sacking and renaming communities.

    Years ago, Acting President Yemi Osinbajo visited Plateau State and was presented petitions by indigenes documenting over 58 communities allegedly sacked, renamed and occupied by invaders. He promised that the lands would be recovered. Not one step has been taken since then to restore the lands to their rightful owners. The killings simply continued, disguised as farmers versus herders clashes, and have morphed into something more sinister, spreading to Kaduna and Nasarawa States. The remote and immediate causes of the killings have neither been comprehensively investigated nor policies and measures propounded to tackle the crisis in a just and fair manner. And so when presidency officials, including the president himself, express outrage, no one feels their empathy nor trusts their explanations. Harassed and displaced indigenes have resigned themselves to not getting justice under the current government. Sadly, they are unlikely to be disappointed.

    A few of the attackers may be apprehended now and then, but it will do little to halt the descent to chaos that has become clearly imminent. Indigenes challenged to expose the attackers had obliged the government many times in the past, but as the slothful response to the international exposure of some Nigerian financiers of terrorism have shown, the government is strangely unwilling to deal with the unending mayhem in the Middle Belt. Unfortunately, today, the government is thought in many circles to be complicit to the attacks, and it has done nothing to disabuse the minds of sceptics. Many of the attackers are mercenaries from outside Nigeria brought in by local groups who openly accept responsibility for avenging wrongs done to them. In the face of these horrors, the government has shown paralysis. Villages sacked and renamed by attackers still dot Plateau State, yet the government has shown no appetite to reclaim them or apprehend the new settlers. But when frustrated indigenes arm themselves to resist further attacks, they are quickly apprehended and detained. Why would the killings not continue? And why would indigenes not suspect federal collusion, especially in the face of many highly placed federal and state officials endorsing open national borders?

    It is feared that the federal government does not possess the will and capacity to address and resolve these killings. Its understanding of the remote causes of the killings is warped, and its solutions badly misplaced. Wracked by pain and bloodshed, and wary of one another, Nigerians are probably looking beyond this government for the resolution of a crisis that began inauspiciously but has now metamorphosed into a countrywide crisis clearly threatening national security. The fertile plains of Benue will still be contended, Plateau killings will continue for a little longer, and governmental paralysis will endure for a while. It is not certain what the National Council of State discussed at their meeting on Thursday, but a part of it must be the killings overwhelming the country. There would be no mention of whether the government’s response to the killings was weak and ineffective. Hopefully, there also would be no talk of state of emergency, since nothing constitutionally bars the government from deploying military and security assets against killer groups, as indeed it is already doing with little success.

    Until the government abandons its prejudicies and decides to enforce the law first and foremost, its efforts will end in platitudes and failure. The problem is not whether the country has significant security personnel to enforce the law; the problem is the government’s poor perception of the law, a perception coloured by so many extraneous and debilitating considerations. If it is serious about finding a solution to the Plateau and Benue killings, let the government first address the issue of seized, cleansed and occupied lands. For, after all, there can be no peace without justice.

    2023 and the religion card

    With the entrance into the 2023 presidential race of Vice President Yemi Osinbajo and Tunde Bakare, both pastors, it is unlikely that anyone can deny that religion in one form or the other will play a role. Prof. Osinbajo wants to succeed President Muhammadu Buhari simply because he is the vice president. And Pastor Bakare of the Citadel Global Community Church, Lagos, prophesies that he is Nigeria’s 16th leader. In the past, particularly during the Olusegun Obasanjo presidency, the pastor made one or two controversial prophecies that became embroiled in controversy. This time, should his unequivocal prophecy about being the 16th president fail, there would be no grammatical or exegetical hiding place for him.

    Of all the complications Nigerians fear about the 2023 race, especially seeing how the Muhammadu Buhari presidency has introduced many puzzling elements into the politics and government of Nigeria, religion seems to be the last straw. It smuggled its way into the race in 2011 when the then candidate Buhari was rebuffed for being a suspect religious diehard because of the many extreme religious statements attributed to him. But in 2015, those statements were smothered in favour of a supposedly centrist, repentant and mature candidate Buhari. The suspicions about his orientation were, however, never fully dispelled. Now a more lethal religious brew seems to be spreading like a veneer on the coming race. It remains to be seen how far both pastors can go, and whether religion would in fact ultimately colour the race.

  • Arousing your husband’s s3xual desire (2)

    Arousing your husband’s s3xual desire (2)

    WHEN you feel S3Xy, you are S3Xy. And once you both return home from your diva-outing, you won’t be able to keep your hands off  each other. For men, what they see is almost as good as what they get. So, make sure you give him an eyeful.

    Wives, encourage your husband to touch you, especially when you have your favourite tight clothes on (and don’t let him take them off), and the clothing material will transmit the sensations over a wider area. Remind him to share a passionate 10-second kiss everyday with you. Never stop the wonderful and intimate act of kissing. Start kissing with your eyes wide, sustain the eye contact until both of you reach the climax. You’ll experience your orgasm in a totally different way. You might be surprised how easily you can become synchronized.

    Try re-creating the away-from-home atmosphere in your own bedroom. Buy sheets with the highest threads-per-inch count you can find (look for 200 and above), and invest in some thick, fluffy robes. Both of you will feel an incredible vacation from the rest of the world.

    Husbands, if you’re turned on at any location outside the home, just whisper into the ears of your wife, looking for a private place and quickly act on your feelings. Give yourselves a quickie. This simple act will help you stay faithful, stay connected and make S3X between both of you alluring, explosive and exploring. ‘Quickie S3X’ or ‘standing ovation’ leaves a lasting feeling. Husbands, watch every move of your wife while you’re having S3X. It is a great way to explore more of the emotional sides of your wife.

    Great S3X is all about angles – the angle of his erection and your pelvis determine exactly what hot spots he’ll hit and how tightly he’ll feel gripped. That’s why a pillow can be passion’s best friend. Try one under your husband’s buttock while you’re on top or supporting your back in the missionary position.

    You’ll be surprised how many new sensations you both experience, just by adding a pillow. Make some noise or whisper your partner’s name. The more you express your pleasure, the more you make your partner feel like the king or queen of your life.

    Husbands must create a habit of dropping S3Xual hints to their wives. When it comes to pleasing women, every man wishes he has ESP (Extra-S3Xual Perception). But the truth is; your libidinous longings can be baffling. That’s why a husband will always love it when his wife is able to guide him with wisdom. So, when giving erotic instruction, throw in some positive reinforcement.

    Tell him how good it feels when he does something right, or remind him of a technique that always gets you on. If he’s not giving you enough foreplay, demand for it. The second point of emphasis from the reader that I referred to earlier is that her husband has completely back out of S3X. I am certain that when she applies these tips, her husband will have no choice but to get revived again, enjoy as you read. To start with, I want all the married women to know that the male organ is an atomic bomb that can be set ablaze when wives handle it appropriately. What triggers the male organ far beyond the earthly experience. Lightly tap his shaft up and down with your fingers as if you’re playing a piano with one hand.

    This helps him get and stay hard by keeping blood flowing into the spongy tissue of his organ. Stroke down the length of his organ with one hand, so as to make the skin firm. This exposes the nerve endings. Then, wrap your other hand around the head of the organ and slide it up and down. Take his organ between your open palms, and, using your hands like ping-pong paddles, bat it back and forth very lightly. The quick touch invigorates the organ and increases blood circulation to the surface of the skin.

    Interlock your fingers around his shaft, and place the pads of both thumbs on the underside. Press firmly, massaging dime-size circles into his sweet spot, moving your right thumb clockwise and your left thumb anti-clockwise. Make an ‘okay’ sign around the head of his organ, then stroke downward and follow immediately with your other hand, making the same motion. Take it again from the top. Keep repeating, then reverse directions and pull upward to mix things up.

    Grasp the lower shaft of his organ with one hand and the upper part with your other hand (both hands should be lubed up). Then lightly twist your hands in opposite directions, as though you’re wringing a towel dry. Make a ring with your thumb and index finger around the base of his shaft, and gently squeeze. This turns your fingers into the ring – the shape of a male organ, thus boosting his pleasure. Use the other hand to pull up the organ and twist at the head. Then bring your hand back down to meet the ring. Using the same ring grip, squeeze for a second, then repeat as you move your way up and down – from the base of his organ to the head. The mix of pressures will keep him alert. Give your husband a hand in the shower: Approach him from behind and rub your breasts against his sudsy back, then reach around to stimulate his organ. Grab his erect shaft, using a fist-like grip with your thumb near the tip, and use an up-and-down jerking motion to mimic the way he handles himself. Place your lubricated palms on either side of his shaft, and rub them back and forth, as if you’re trying to start a fire. Hold him by the base of his shaft with one hand, and wrap the fingertips of your other hand around the head so that it’s pointing toward your palm. Then grab his corona — the edge separating the head and shaft — and pull up and down, stroking just along this extra-sensitive ridge. Put one hand at the base of his member, and grip firmly.

    As you begin to move that hand toward the head, place your other hand on the base and follow it up when a hand reaches the top. Start again, so that both hands are constantly stroking him. Press his organ against surprising parts of your body. Hold it against your inner thigh to tease him like crazy; touch the tip of his organ with your breast, and rub his frenulum against your nipple; or bring the side of his shaft against the outside of one of your cheeks, then put it up to your lips and cover it with wet kisses. As you’re kissing, gently cradle his testicles in the palm of your hand. There is no need to do anything for now, but hold them – your warm hand and smooches will instantly arouse him.

    Move the pad of your index finger in circles against the base of his shaft.

    Your finger should just barely tickle the top of his scrotum. Play with very light pinching on his scrotal skin in the area where the base of the shaft meets the testicles. Encircle his testicles at the base, massaging them lightly between your thumb and index finger, and then gently pull them away from his body so you’re holding them in a compact sack. Lightly stroke them with your fingertips. Wrap both hands around his organ, one above the other, then, move the top hand toward the head of his organ and the other hand down toward his testicles so that you’re essentially gently tugging up on his organ with one hand and applying the other on the testicles.

    Hold on for a moment to let him register the feeling that his erection is getting even bigger, then release and repeat. Straddle his chest while facing his feet. Place one of his hands between his legs with your fingers draped over his testicles. Then drag your fingers lightly up and over his testicles and penis, all the way to his belly. Repeat with your other hand, and continue to alternate for a tantalizing massage. Rub the flat sides of your fingernails (not the edges!) against his scrotum to give him a different sensation.

    As you’re cradling his testicles with one hand, place a knuckle from your other hand against his perineum (the super sensitive area between his testicles and anus), and vibrate it. The organ must have become harder this time. Then, go for the action.

     

    QUESTION

    I can’t sleep beside my wife after S3X

    I came across your responses to issues that border on S3X in marriage and I was highly impressed. I hope you can help me and my marriage. Before I got married about ten years ago, I was never used to sleeping beside a woman after S3X. I had thought that things would change after marriage, but the situation has persisted.

    When I got married, I had to travel abroad. My wife joined me three years later. Then, the nightmare began. When she first arrived, I was literally sleeping at work because of a lack of sleep. I tried all I could and even resorted to sleeping pills to no avail.

    When I gradually begin to fall slightly asleep, I have to turn my back to her. I always feel bad about doing that every night, but that is the only way I could grasp some sleep. We have been having a great S3X life.

    But in most cases afterwards, I would just lie there fully awake, while she falls asleep like a baby. It’s been ten years now, with two children, still, I can’t sleep facing her. She has not raised the issue and I never bothered to explain. I am not even sure she has noticed. What should I do?

     

    ANSWER

    One basic foundational need in a successful marriage is the ability to adapt and adjust to marital changes. Marriage is like a refinery, where most of our ideas are fine-tuned and reshaped. If the situation is unbearable, take time out to discuss it extensively with your wife and change rooms so that you can grasp some sleep.

     

     

    QUESTION

    My husband has mouth odour

    I have been having this problem with my husband for some years now. He has this persistent terrible mouth odour, which is making me start regretting my decision to marry him because it usually puts me off. I want to know if there is any help you can recommend regarding this, as he is a very responsible husband, but I can’t just cope with this mouth odour.

     

    ANSWER

    There are different kinds of liquid that he can use to wash his mouth, apart from the regular toothpaste. Also, there are some mints that will help keep his mouth fresh all the time. Please, go and buy them for him.

    I am not sure if he is aware of the fact that his mouth produces a bad odour. If he is not yet aware, you have to be careful with the way you introduce these products to him. Present it in a way that he will not feel embarrassed or annoyed. If he uses the things prescribed, the odour will disappear within a short time.

     

    QUESTION

    I am tempted to sleep with other women

    I need your help. Before I got saved and married, I slept with numerous women – some of them nearly strangers. Now, I love my wife very much, and S3X with her is okay. But it’s nothing like the intensity of S3X before I got married. I still have strong desire to have S3X with other women.

    It’s a constant temptation I don’t want to give in to. What can I do?

     

    ANSWER

    Your dilemma highlights one of the most powerful reasons for abstinence from premarital S3X and also curbing marital fidelity. The intensity of ‘forbidden’ S3X creates an imprint in the mind that’s unfair to the enjoyment of long-term S3X.

    Marital S3X is constrained by the realities of life – like crying kids, bills and last night’s disagreement. These mundane demands often erode the passion of marriage, and there is not the same energy investment in having an exciting S3Xual time together again. Dealing with past memories of hot S3X is part of managing your entire thought life. Your brain has pathways for memory retrieval of millions of stored images. The more you choose to replay those tapes, the easier and more intensely they come to life. You have a choice not to replay those tapes, but to plug them into a different thought. With each temptation, you can exercise your will to say ”No”. Identify those old memories as destructive. Focus on your wife and family. Allowing outside images to interfere with your marital intimacy will destroy you and your loved ones.

     

  • Soludo, Bianca and Truth, Justice and Peace Committee

    Soludo, Bianca and Truth, Justice and Peace Committee

    ANAMBRA State governor Charles Soludo will not allow a dull moment for Anambrarians and the rest of Nigeria in the months and years ahead. Right from the starting block at his inauguration as governor last month, with first-rate drama enacted by two feuding ladies who pulled wigs and slapped faces, Prof. Soludo’s government is set to keep everybody guessing, tip-toeing, agitated, and possibly puzzled. The feuding ladies, Bianca Ojukwu and former first lady Ebelechukwu Obiano, virtually overshadowed the inauguration. In the days after the inauguration, more ink was spent analysing the fight than examining the quality of the inaugural speech. Drama easily trumped substance.

    Much is expected of Prof. Soludo. He came highly recommended, and Mr Obiano, with all his faults and the drama of his hated wife, pulled out all the stops to gift his state a quality mind. The professor, an acknowledged first-rate economist, was at a time also Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) governor. He is, therefore, expected to rethink the economic paradigm of the state, as he has promised, and rebuild the state’s infrastructure, as he appears poised to do. The state is widely believed to be fortunate to have him. But he must make conscious effort to remain focused and creative. He apologised for the distractions caused by the feuding ladies, one of whom he has incredibly appointed into a committee to interface with militants wreaking havoc on the state and the region. But there cannot be many more apologies if he is not to become bogged down in routine and ephemerality.

    Prof Soludo will no doubt have to contend with restiveness in the Southeast. But it is a regional crisis whose effects would ripple through Anambra State and his administration, and possibly distract and undermine him. The crisis began with the agitations of the Movement for the Actualisation of the Sovereign State of Biafra (MASSOB), but lately intensified through the militant aspirations of the Nnamdi Kanu-led Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB), a breakaway faction of MASSOB. While IPOB has captured the popular imagination of youths in the region, including Anambra, MASSOB has become largely somnolent. It is IPOB that Prof. Soludo will have to grapple with in the years ahead. IPOB had invented the regional pressure tool of sit-at-home order to compel the federal government to release the incarcerated Mr Kanu who was controversially forced back to Nigeria last year through rendition, but Abuja has rebuffed the tool and aggressively nurtured federal intransigence.

    How to tackle the IPOB crisis without being distracted or without frittering away Anambra’s resources will be uppermost in the mind of the governor. Appointing a 15-man Truth, Justice and Peace Committee headed by former Nigeria’s Human Rights Commission chairman, Chidi Odinkalu, to find a way out of the crisis is one thing – of course a necessary step in order to free space and time for development – however, getting results and managing expectations will not be easy, especially regarding a crisis that transcends Anambra and the Southeast, and courses perniciously to the federal level. The committee will have to determine how their work will positively impact Anambra as well as find a way to make their findings cost-effective when it comes to implementation. These objectives will not be easy to achieve. But, looking at the bright side, reporters will be fully engaged, as the governor gives them fresh bone to chew every week. The committee is loaded with public figures who make news effortlessly, hard-hitting and tough talking men and women of candour.

    But going by the terms of reference for the Truth and Justice committee, Prof Soludo may be biting more than he can chew. He can easily get distracted. According to the governor, “The purpose of the Committee on Truth, Justice, and Peace is to seek a restorative justice approach for truth-telling or real facts, for the healing of the victims of the violence. Accounting for responsibility and accountability of the actors, conditional mercy for the repentant perpetrators, restitution for certain losses and rehabilitation of the perpetrators, for the overall aim of restoration of peace and justice as well as the promotion of development in the state, and the region/Nigeria.”

    The terms of reference for the committee, the governor added, “…are to identify the remote and immediate causes of the agitations, restiveness, violence, and armed struggle in the South East since 1999; document victims/circumstances of death, brutality and incarceration, identify stakeholders and groups who have played critical roles in the agitations and conflicts, their roles, capabilities and demands; addressing any other issue(s) that may be germane to unravelling the extent of the crisis and charting the roadmap for the future and make recommendations for sustainable peace and security in Anambra State/Southeast.”

    Prof Soludo has begun to think regionally. He needs to be cautious. While the IPOB crisis is a regional problem, it is not clear how he or Anambra alone, regardless of the influence and credibility of panel members, can mitigate the crisis and engender peace. Days after he assumed office, he deployed economic logic and administrative fiat to combat and placate IPOB’s sit-at-home order. It had little effect. There is little to suggest that the Truth and Justice committee will achieve the lofty goals set for it or the state. However, if he can manage expectations, avoid the distractions the panel might engender, control spending over peace schemes of doubtful utility, he may yet get water out of the rock. He is wise to enter into discussions with IPOB, but considering that the separatist group’s anger is directed primarily at the federal government, it is not certain what the state, or the region he is trying to inspire and represent, can do or how effective negotiations can be. Governance in the Southeast has been greatly compromised by incompetent leaders and decadent followers. If Prof. Soludo can’t persuade IPOB and other militant groups in the state and region to sheathe their swords, his optimism may also be weakened and possible extinguished. But he can at least try.

    When Prof. Soludo was inaugurated, this column thought aloud that should he do well in four years, and possibly eight, he could be the region’s answer to credible presidential aspiration. It is unlikely the eminent professor was influenced by such hazardous postulations. Indeed, it is likely the professor is self-motivated, and had secretly longed for a governorship opportunity to serve as stepping stone to the ultimate national prize. So far, however, his steps are unsteady. He would need to tame his regional assumptions and expectations. He is first and foremost Anambra governor. He should keep that in mind for a little while longer than his customary impatience and experimentations beckon him. He must recognise that his brilliance and eloquence require steady and logical policy and administrative steps to anchor firmly. The region will be his later only when he has proved himself in his state, and the state proves unable to accommodate his large and growing stature. If he tries to walk or run, as he is planning to do, before he can crawl, he will be prone to mistakes.

    One mistake he has made, a consequential one for that matter, is the appointment into the committee of the slapping guru, Bianca Ojukwu, as the Truth and Justice Committee secretary. Appointing her at all into the committee was an unforced error; making her the secretary is unforgivable. Prof Soludo is well travelled. He can’t pretend not to know the ethics upon which governance in Western societies is anchored, an orientation that has set them enviably apart from the rest of the world. It would be presumptuous of him to think that Nigeria, nay the Igbo, can and should tolerate abhorrent practices. The Southeast seemed to have celebrated Mrs Ojukwu slapping Mrs Obiano because the latter conducted herself repugnantly before the Igbo and particularly Anambrarians. Mrs Obiano might have provoked Mrs Ojukwu, but for the latter to engage in violence speaks not only to her objectionable mindset, it also reduced her esteem as a woman, mother, former ambassador, Christian (nominal or otherwise), and social and cultural standing. If she did not know better, the Southeast ought to. And if the region is inured to that abomination, surely Prof Soludo, by his education, breeding and exposure should be astute enough to distance himself from her. Mrs Obiano provocation is inexcusable; but Mrs Ojukwu’s response is unpardonable.

    The high-powered Truth and Justice Committee apes other such panels elsewhere in the world. There is nothing original about it. Even the Nigerian version of the South African model of the same kind of committee ended up a damp squib. It is not certain that that of Anambra would fare better. The circumstances are different, and the dynamics are also different. However, Prof Soludo’s brain trust should have been more imaginative in dealing with the matter. Together with the governor, their policies and the personalities entrusted with the responsibility of implementing solutions should be a notch higher in competence than the depressing Nigerian average. The governor should, however, be encouraged to dream big, and to take unorthodox steps in resolving some of the long-lasting crises and dilemmas undermining development and governance in his state. But how far he can go when the country’s security services can’t even uncover and checkmate the Southeast’s so-called unknown gunmen or halt the serial betrayal of Nigeria by non-state actors working in league with highly placed politicians and appointees in bandit and Boko Haram territories is not certain.

     

    Gov Ortom and PDP’s zoning nightmare

    GOVERNOR Samuel Ortom of Benue State was scared out of his wits last week when newspapers attempted to place almost wholly on him the burden of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) shambolic handling of its presidential zoning formula. The party inspired that formula in their years in office, but has lately grown tired of it. They nurse a secret wish to discard it entirely, insisting with strange epiphany that merit should be the sole determinant of who runs for and takes the presidency. When they first broached the merit argument last year, they were mercilessly lampooned by newspaper columnists and satirists. That piece of quaint sophistry has since then defiantly and perversely transformed into a party philosophy. Party panjandrums dare anyone to affront logic and philosophy by arguing against merit, intellect and competence.

    But party leaders lack the courage to peremptorily enthrone the merit argument on both the beleaguered party and a skeptical nation. They have, therefore, mischievously produced the Ortom red herring, knowing full well that the Benue governor, a veritable battering ram against Fulani hegemony, retains the credibility and integrity to sell an unpopular argument. Mr Ortom himself is not sure he is not being dressed in borrowed robes. He is in his elements when he politicks against hegemony, and time and time again has nimbly outthought the presidency in the matter of who should enjoy precedence between farmers and pastoralists. He has also matched the presidency’s partisan grumblings with resilient Benue-woven hysteria that has whipped up sympathy for the indigenous ethnic groups of his state. But asking him, in his first major national foray on behalf of the PDP, to take on an unpopular task is, to a tiring fighter, self-immolation.

    When newspapers last Wednesday emblazoned their front pages with the story that the 37-man zoning committee he, Mr Ortom, chaired had resolved to recommend the jettisoning of the zoning formula contained in the party’s constitution, the governor became instantly flustered. He had spent the better part of his two terms fighting hegemony and oligarchy, not only as a lone state warrior but also as a prominent and vociferous member of the Middle Belt Forum (MBF). In alliance with other southern groups, such as the Southern and Middle Belt Leaders Forum (SMBLF), Mr Ortom’s Middle Belt groups had also championed rotational presidency. But whether it was disingenuous of PDP leaders to give the unpopular assignment to a Middle Belt champion and spokesman is not clear. What is clear, however, is that by the middle of last week, the Benue governor was wrestling with his conscience; and so far his conscience has fared very badly.

    The speculative story in the papers last week was that the Ortom panel had recommended opening up the presidential space, not that the PDP had jettisoned zoning. Mr Ortom, unhappily, became the centre of discussion. He had to promptly come out to clarify the story by engaging in his own peculiar disingenuousness. After quibbling a little, he proceeded to transfer the responsibility for discarding zoning and placating the concomitant guilt of doing so to the National Executive Committee (NEC) of his party. As he argued, the ultimate responsibility for deciding whether to stick to zoning or discard it rests with the party. His committee, he asserted, had made, and could only make, recommendations; nothing more. The party, he summed up, would take the final decision – almost as if that was sufficient to expiate the presumed ‘sin’ of the committee in recommending opening up the race to all comers. Mr Ortom is undoubtedly shaken. But in fact he said nothing in his rebuttal to suggest his panel did not recommend and justify jettisoning of zoning. He will hope in the months ahead that the zoning decision attributed to his panel does not return to hunt him.

    This column sympathises with PDP leaders for being caught between a rock and a hard place. They have no southern aspirant of sizable political heft. Not the voluble and irreverent Rivers State governor Nyesom Wike; not Peter Obi, a former Anambra State governor whose image has neither receded nor advanced a jot since leaving office; and not Ayo Fayose, a former Ekiti State governor more regarded for his comical politics than anything else. By sheer coincidence, northern presidential aspirants have seemed to attract more significant attention, regardless of their controversial worldviews. Governor Bala Mohammed of Bauchi State is unapologetically irredentist and an apostle of open borders in favour of the Fulani; former senate president Bukola Saraki suffers from identity crisis, unsure whether to claim the South or the North; Governor Aminu Tambuwal has seemed to diminish in stature since leaving the House of Representatives as Speaker; and former vice president Atiku Abubakar has as a matter of fact ossified with every election cycle.

    Mr Ortom was simply caught in the middle of two unpleasant alternatives. The party may be largely bankrolled by southerners, but it is more substantially influenced by northerners. Having never really possessed a conscience to fight for what is inconveniently right against what is enticingly wrong, as its 16 years in office showed, the PDP now appears ready to eschew the little sense of logic and fairness its forebears imbued it. It’s a nightmare promoting the presidential aspiration of controversial northern politicians. For them to make any headway along the thorny path they have set their compass, they will have to hope that the less cohesive, more flawed and fiercely quarrelsome All Progressives Congress (APC), their main opponent in the 2023 race, implode in their primaries as they seem destined.

  • Presidency, APC and insecurity

    Presidency, APC and insecurity

    President Muhammadu Buhari was exultant after the March 26 All Progressives Congress (APC) managed to hold its convention, especially despite the postponements and bitter leadership struggle that almost torpedoed the party itself. “The APC convention hosted this weekend,” enthused the president, “sets the scene for an APC victory in the presidential and general election next year. It is a victory over naysayers who believed the party was divided but are now disappointed.” As controversial as that statement was, it is even more baffling that the president went on to castigate the media as purveyors of fake news in their reports of the acrimony and dissension that caused disaffection and chaos within the ruling party.

    Said the president: “We believe that it is equally a victory for the president who has ensured unity across all party positions; and it is a victory for the voters of Nigeria, who can now be assured of a smooth succession to new leadership in 2023. What the convention made clear was how the media had been peddling fake news of division, when the hard reality of unity, cohesion, and, indeed, personal warmth between members of the party’s leaders – incoming and outgoing – was evident for all to see.” The media may be guilty of some exaggerations in reporting local and global affairs, but reporting the goings-on in the APC hardly qualifies for the weakness attributed to them. They saw right and reported right, notwithstanding the virtues the president gleefully recounted.

    The president is overjoyed that the successful completion of the convention would give the party victory at the polls next year. This sentiment is similar to the opinion of former APC caretaker chairman, Mai Mala Buni, who said that the over 40m people registered or revalidated as members of the APC would give it victory. Were successful conventions and huge registration of members enough to deliver electoral victory to a party, the opposition Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) would not have been defeated in 2015. Their convention preceding that year’s election was successful, and they boasted about being the largest party in Africa.

    What marred the PDP’s chances in 2015 were factors such as insecurity, which it was even responding to admirably, a tottering economy, lack of surefootedness in social and political programmes and policies, and general poor governance, among other factors. It nearly didn’t lose. Had there not been rancorousness in the party, followed by the defection of a few governors and influential lawmakers, it is inconceivable that the PDP would have been booted out of the presidency. President Buhari has not appropriately captured the chances of his party at the next polls, and at the convention, did not speak to his party’s strengths, records, triumphs and possibilities.

    In fact, he should have used the opportunity of the convention to pledge his party’s commitment to fairness, justice, security, good governance, devolution of powers, and other lofty ideas and projects expected by Nigerians. He will still get the opportunity; but it is doubtful whether he will have anything to say. The ruling party has been lethargic in recovering Nigeria’s abducted schoolgirls, some of them taken as far back as 2014, and there is no task force dedicated to securing their freedom. The economy is nearly in a tailspin, electricity supply long hamstrung by unitary model of running such humongous agencies has virtually reached the end of its tethers, and the roads, railways, forests, villages, and towns are utterly unsafe. There are no spectacular initiatives to address these centrifugal forces tearing the country apart. There is indeed almost total paralysis. Should the APC be desirous of victory in the next polls, its standard-bearers will have to speak to these issues, and be convincing.

    At the moment, many Nigerians are anxious that the government seems overwhelmed. The presidency denies this, but they have done and said nothing to convince the public that they have an answer to banditry and the horrifying spate of abductions and killings laying the country waste. Alas, instead of addressing these germane and perplexing issues, the president has delved into extraneous matters. The president had said at the convention, that the APC’s National Working Committee (NWC) should “as a matter of policy promote internal democracy and always respect the wishes of the people. We must de-emphasise money politics, and not subject party primary and elections into public offices to the highest bidder syndrome. Popular and acceptable aspirants who remain the people’s choice must be allowed to fly the party’s flag in the 2023 elections. We will resist the imposition of candidates. We should also promote equal opportunities and respect for the laws guiding the elections to stand us out as Nigeria’s ruling party.”

    It is okay to wish his party well in preparing for the next polls, even though neither he nor his party profits from his counsel, but Nigerians will appreciate much more his plans to combat insecurity, restore and improve power supply, bring down inflation, and generally give hope to Nigerians that there is light at the end of the long, dark tunnel in which they appeared trapped.

    Imperious train attackers

    The ease with which the bandits who attacked an Abuja-Kaduna train on March 28 carried out their operations and have held on to their captives is mindboggling. Not only was the operation successful, with government’s countermeasures desultory and barely perceptible, the bandits returned to their redoubts and have been sounding off without any apprehension. Kaduna State governor Nasir el-Rufai argues that the security services know where these bandits make their camps, not to talk of keeping their communication lines opened despite being bugged. But the bandits can’t be bothered. They have sworn antagonism to the federal government over unstated grudges, and insist that except those provocations are mitigated, they would persist in abducting, raping and killing innocent travellers and village dwellers. So far, their feathers have not really been ruffled.

    Each attack leaves Nigerians stupefied. The March 28 attack delivered wealthy and influential victims to the bandits. By some estimates, they have collected over N200m ransom. That is no longer shocking. What is alarming is the event that transpired in the release of the Managing Director of the Bank of Agriculture, Alwan Ali-Hassan, who was taken along with so many others during the attack. The bandits claimed to have released him on religious and compassionate grounds. Some sources insisted he was ransomed. But ransomed or not, it is significant that the abductors, whose ranks some security agents claimed had been infiltrated by ISWAP militants, released a propaganda video in which they claimed the government knew their grievances. If those grievances were met, they swore, the rest of the captives would be freed. After all, they added, they did not need any money.

    Why the presidency has not felt compelled to address the bandits’ innuendos is hard to say. But since the presidency has made a pathetic show of uncoordinated visits to some of the victims, in the same manner they have been lethargic about the abduction some eight years ago of the Chibok and Dapchi schoolgirls, why would they not be desensitised to these latest attacks and abductions and tardy in responding to the propaganda videos? Perhaps given the frequency and relentlessness of the attacks against innocent travelers, presidency officials have asked themselves how many victims they would have to visit every week. If they yield to despair so clearly, what do they expect of defenceless and frustrated Nigerians?

  • The people’s imam

    The people’s imam

    Nigerians must be wondering that power can act so swiftly in their country, given the alacrity with which the Chief Imam of Apo Legislative Quarters Mosque, Sheikh Nuru Khalid, was fired last week Monday, on a spurious allegation of not being remorseful over his comment during his April 1 sermon. The chief imam had asked Nigerians not to vote in next year’s general elections if the security situation did not improve. He was particularly irked by the bandits attack on the Abuja-Kaduna train on March 28. Khalid had earlier on April 1 been suspended over the sermon.

    Imagine a chief imam being summarily sacked within 72 hours of committing the alleged offence in a country where someone (or some people) caused the whole country severe economic and personal deprivations by importing adulterated fuel without consequences.

    Khalid deserves more than an applause in a country where several other clerics like him have sold out, wining and dining with the authorities and swimming with them in the ocean of iniquities!

    But, what exactly did this man say to warrant his summary dismissal from a job he had been doing so meritoriously for about 15 years? True, he said a lot. But was he saying the truth? Moreover, what he said was still within his right of freedom of expression.

    Hear Khalid: “I want to believe that we have all failed. I failed as an imam to teach you that life is sacred; you all failed as parents to teach your children that killing is bad. Our community leaders failed, governors failed, especially His Excellency, the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, you have failed us.” Imam Khalid reminded us of the promises that Buhari made when seeking our votes: “We have your video telling Nigerians that the military is capable, it has all the requirements to tackle all the insurgency and if you are voted into power, you are going to make sure that happens in a short time.”

    “You have been given four years and an addition, yet people are dying like fowls, killing is becoming the norm in Nigeria under your watch Mr President”, the fiery cleric lamented. He said “If there is no Nigerian to tell you, I will take responsibility of telling you and I will take the consequences because the lives and properties of Nigerians are above all.”

    He is not done yet: “What you are telling us is that your concern is about the 2023 elections. And what I am telling the citizens is to send a message that we are going to vote under one condition. Nigerian masses should resort to only one term which is — protect our lives, we will come out to vote; let us be killed, we will not come out to vote, since it’s the only language you understand, we are going to speak it. We need prayers. We need supplication. This is very important at a time when Nigeria is facing a very serious challenge. Everything is not working well. People are dying. Our roads are not secured.

    “Most part of the country is not secured. The government is always telling us that they are doing their best. But we deserve more than that best as citizens because we want a secured Nigeria.”

    Imam Khalid said it all. As the legendary Fela Anikulapi-Kuti asked in one of his evergreens, wetin remain sef?

    But Senator Saidu Muhammed Dansadau, chairman of the mosque steering committee, who signed Sheikh Khalid’s letter of disengagement and his colleagues on the committee gave the impression that he was fired not necessarily because of what he said but because he was neither remorseful nor showed any sign that he had reflected on the consequences of his utterances. “We regret to inform you that from today, 4th day of April, 2022, you have been disengaged from the services of the above-mentioned mosque. This action is occasioned by the non-remorseful attitude you exhibited following your suspension on 2nd April this year.

    The sack letter, dated April 4 added: “Akamakallah, you know better than me by the teaching of Islam, the essence of administering punishment is to correct behaviour.

    “Unfortunately, your media reaction to the suspension creates the impression that you are not remorseful, not to talk of humbly reflecting on the consequences of your utterances.”  Not done, the senator continued his own homily “Leadership demands a great sense of responsibility. If our words do more harm than good to the larger interest of the country or the public. We have a responsibility to maximise restraint for the good of the public…” And, if I may ask, who determines that ‘larger interest of the country or the public’?

    At any rate, how could anyone have been incited not to vote simply on account of a cleric’s admonition to that effect? Even if Imam Khalid had said what the committee members advised in their letter of suspension, to wit, that he “should have advised them to vote out those that transgress the Almighty and breach people’s social contract as well as the state”, they still would have accused him of inciting people against the sitting government. Come to think of it; if anyone thought Khalid’s followers were so gullible as to follow his admonition that they should not vote, without interrogating it, who is to blame for that gullibility? Is it not the same northern establishment that did’t give them education?

    I know there is some gullibility of sort when it comes to advice from the pulpit, even down south, but it is limited. I was in the third service at Winners Chapel when the then President Goodluck Jonathan came to the church shortly before the 2015 election. Influential and respected as Bishop David Oyedepo was and still is, I knew many people in that auditorium did not agree with most of what ‘Papa’ as the man is popularly called said, especially when he asked the congregation to pray for Jonathan (or was it when he was praying for him). My eyes were wide open and I also saw a multitude that did not close their eyes as well. Many of us did not answer ‘Amen’ to the prayers. It was our own way of showing disapproval with the position of the man of God. Do not ask me now whether we were wrong and Bishop Oyedepo was right, with hindsight.

    Since the mosque is located in an area where the high and mighty reside, such criticism of the government would quite naturally ruffle some feathers. It is not yet clear who influenced Sheikh Khalid’s sack. But we know that he said nothing new. What he merely parroted had been said by many prominent Nigerians, including religious and  highly respected traditional rulers, former heads of state, not to talk of civil society organisations and the media. As a matter of fact, even National Assembly members have had cause to berate the government either individually or as a collective, over the issue of insecurity and other national challenges that the government has monumentally showed a lack of capacity to address. So, what sin has Sheikh Khalid committed? Any religious leader worth the appellation should be able to look anybody in the face and tell them the bitter truth. Unfortunately, many religious leaders today are more concerned about issues of bread and butter. The very reason why many Christians frown on the tendency of many pastors to exalt prosperity over salvation. Winning of souls, the very essence of Christianity, has taken the back seat while pecuniary gains are now the driving force in many churches and mosques. Indeed, the fat bank accounts of many religious leaders reek of filthy lucre. That is why they cannot look power in the face and tell it the truth.

    But God is great. Allahu Akbar indeed. Almost as soon as the Apo Legislative Quarters Mosque removed their own mat, God spread His. Sheikh Khalid has got a new job offered by the management committee of a new jum’mat mosque behind the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) Quarters, Abuja. His appointment took effect from Friday. An apparently elated Khalid said: “There’s a Jum’mat mosque we built behind the CBN Quarters, in Abuja; I will now be leading the congregation there.” He added: “By the Grace of Almighty Allah, I will be leading my new congregation this Friday, because as clerics we need a platform to operate.” Those who fired him knew this too well and it was their grand design to deny him that platform. But thank God they are not God. They would have ensured that he is cut off from the supply of oxygen. Neither would rain fall for his benefit.

    Be that as it may, I decided to quote Imam Khalid extensively not for want of comments to make on the matter, but because I felt what the cleric said was for the record and should therefore be well documented. At any rate, what new thing would I or anyone be saying about the Buhari government’s ineptitude that is not already in the public domain? But we have to put Khalid’s words for the record so that when in the future the children of those who sacked him for saying the truth, and their masters start reaping the comeuppance of their fathers’ sins, they won’t have to look far for the reason. They will know their fathers had eaten sour grapes and that is why their (the children’s) teeth are set in edge. Consequences there always will be.

    It is however heartwarming that Khalid’s sack has proved again that there is no wedge of religion among Nigerians. Most times, it is the political elite that erect such artificial wedge to protect their selfish interest. I say this because most of the comments condemning the chief imam’s sack online came from the southern part of the country, perhaps from predominantly Chrustians. If we are able to sustain this attitude, then it is a matter of time for the selfish political elite to know there is no hiding place for them.

    Suffice it to say that the sack of Chief Imam Khalid is another public relations disaster for the Buhari administration, irrespective of whether it was party to it or it was purely the handiwork of some outsiders weeping louder than the bereaved. The impression out there is that the ‘digital imam’ (as Khalid is fondly called), cannot be liked by an analogue administration.

    All said, we need the likes of Sheikh Khalid more in our mosques. People who understand and preach about the sanctity of human lives. The senseless killings, particularly in the north, would not have been this serious if many other clerics preach in like manner. Unfortunately, majority of the gullible youths in the region believe that the number of people they kill, ostensibly for Allah, qualifies them for paradise.

    It pays us all  if those in power realise that silencing credible critics can only give a semblance of peace of the graveyard. Implosion is the natural consequence of the bottled-up anger.

  • A storm in Abiola’s teacup

    A storm in Abiola’s teacup

    Oh dear, oh dear, it is more matters for a May morning, as the clown in William Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night will facetiously observe. From time immemorial, the month of May is usually full of elemental surprises, not to talk of political mayhem and May Day signals from the sinking vessels of nautical notables. This current month of May is proving its mettle already. There is a political struggle unto death going on. One can smell the odour of chrysanthemum from a distance.

    Last week a storm broke in MKO Abiola’s priceless platinum tea cup. At first glance, this may appear a wicked and indelicate choice of imagery. Given the storied circumstances of the great man’s stormy exit from this sinful world, putting Abiola and a tea cup in the same metaphorical bracket may appear a satanic joke from the pit of hell. But when it is discovered that a storm in a tea cup actually means mere piffle; a trite and inconsequential trifle, then all that is solid animus melts into thin air.

    Readers of this column must bear it in mind that it rarely dwells on individual actors and their peccadilloes. On the few occasions that it does, it is to illuminate the larger political process. We have never written on Yahaya Bello before despite many temptations. Individual political actors are part of a wider spectrum on the historical canvass and whenever a political phenomenon is reduced to individual predilections, we can be sure that the explanation is faulty.

    Hafsat Abiola-Costello, the adorable, gutsy and cerebral daughter of the late mogul and martyr, suddenly let it be known to whoever cared to listen that she has taken up the post of Director-General of the Yahaya Bello presidential campaign. All hell was let loose in the Yoruba political firmament. Many were those who took exception to what they consider an ill-judged and ill-considered gambit. Has it come to this, they chorused. If gold can rust, what will become of iron?

    In the postcolonial coliseum that is contemporary Nigeria, the burden of expectations weighs heavily on the slender shoulders of the political survivors of the politically exceptional. They are expected to jealously guard and preserve the family name and reputation against all vicissitudes and against all odds. As Abiola himself would have put it, the bigger the head the bigger the headache.

    In what many considered to be the unkindest cut of all, Hafsat is known to have declared that she could see many similarities between her illustrious father and the youthful and rambunctious Yahaya Bello. Some consider this an act of unpardonable filial betrayal and a terrible slap on the reputation and accomplishments of her great father.

    Comparing Abiola who at the age of forty in 1977 was described as the most brilliant accountant in Africa with a fourth-rate political hustler and violence-prone charlatan is a great disservice to the family, the Yoruba race and the whole of humanity in general. What on earth could have happened to this young hitherto promising woman? There must be more to this than the lure of money and the promise of position.

    Yet there are many who took umbrage who might have forgotten that Hafsat is a dead ringer for her late father in many respects: brilliance, guts and independent-mindedness. Abiola himself had a deep streak of iconoclasm, which is often a mark of the truly gifted.

    Until he struck gold politically in a manner of speaking, Abiola was a political maverick and an off-message eccentric who could not be held down to any position. For a long time, this was a source of unease between him and quite a lot of his people who prefer their leaders to be as straight and straight shooting as a quivering arrow,

    He was like a deep playing attacking midfielder until he became a star defender of democracy and prime symbol of the struggle against military autocracy having broken off from the NPN in 1982 and his military patrons and their feudal limpets exactly ten years after in a memorable tiff that has continued to shape the political contours of the nation three decades after.

    Perhaps, then, part of the problem with Hafsat’s choice of political platform is the fact that it has to do with the Bello brand. The Kogi State governor has not always conducted himself with decorum and dignity in public. Neither has he ruled his Kogi fiefdom with vision, fairness and fiscal rectitude. If these are the golden virtues he is now transferring to the federal service, then God save everybody including Hafsat herself.

    There may well be a deeper political subtext to the animus generated by Hafsat’s choice which speaks to the ethnic polarization of the nation at this moment. In many Yoruba political circles, Yahaya Bello is seen as a political interloper having been catapulted into office from the third position when it was legally, electorally and judicially obvious that a Yoruba-speaking candidate was on the verge of gubernatorial triumph.

    But he was obviously a candidate from the wrong camp, the camp of the magic workers of the APC triumph of 2015 and the electoral benefactors of the current inquisitors. Yet rather than do something to ameliorate this dangerous and deliberate political malediction, Bello has been at his most aggravating and insolent best routinely subjecting the people of Kogi to a reign of electoral terror when not tormenting them with his brand of staccato fire democracy.

    It is unfortunate but not entirely unexpected that Hafsat’s choice of political tutelage should cause a rumpus in a family already fraught with mutual misgiving and simmering discontent. In a viral spat, Tundun Abiola, public commentator cum lawyer daughter of the late tycoon, took serious exception to Hafsat’s unwarranted comparison of their late father to a run of the mill political jobber in the name of existential exigencies.

    This is just as it should be. By standing up to defend the honour and memory of her martyred father, the young woman has shown herself to be a worthy inheritor of Abiola’s epochal legacy. As it is to be expected, public sentiments appear to be with her.

    Yet there is also a substantial public opinion which fanatically believes that Hafsat, by her stirring and sterling rallies against her father’s tormentors and the nation’s persecutors during and after the NADECO years, remains the public face of the struggle against military despotism in Nigeria, a symbol of hope and affronted humanity at a trying period for the Yoruba people.

    As far as this public is concerned, Hafsat has won her spurs and could do nothing wrong. Her current gaffe and ludicrous grandstanding can be accommodated as arising from a temporary lapse of judgement and struggle-fatigue which would be corrected in the fullness of time as she learns to master the rope of political skulduggery. After all in the postcolonial coliseum of countervailing contradictions, it is virtually impossible to be a hero all of the time.

    If it however turns out that the postcolonial condition has claimed another worthy and heroic combatant, then let no one shed undue tears for the daughter of the martyred Kudirat Olayinka Abiola. It has been a lonely and traumatic odyssey.

    To lose one parent to state execution at such an early age is traumatising enough. But to lose both parents to state-ordained elimination is too psychologically destabilising for words. Let the mourners direct their tears towards the blood-soaked plinth of the Nigerian postcolonial state and its surviving executioners. Thanks to the environment of liberalised evil, more and more of them are coming out of the woodworks, including the former Abacha honcho who has just found favour at the helm of affairs of the ruling party.

    Snooper’s enduring image of Hafsat Abiola is from a memorable weekend spent together in Houston circa April, 1997 in company of a world famous musician of Nigerian extraction whom she introduced as her cousin. It was at the first World Congress of Free Nigerians presided over by the indefatigable  avatar of Nigeria’s independence struggle, Anthony Eromosele Enahoro, the much adored and beloved Adolor of Uromi.

    It was arguably Nigeria’s darkest moment under the tyrannical clutches of Abacha. But despite the pervading atmosphere of gloom and depression, and despite her own consuming loss, the young woman demonstrated such empathy and compassion, such forbidding calm and grace under pressure that one began to wonder what stuff she was made of. Twenty five years after, the Nigerian condition has turned the daughter of Abiola into an object of public obloquy.

    Perhaps this is a good moment to direct the attention of the coroner to the real culprit which is the failure of leadership recruitment in post-military Yorubaland, particularly among the hegemonic faction. Our leaders have been so consumed by internal wrangling, by petty squabbling and jostling for position that they have failed to recruit the right cadre of leadership for the onerous task ahead.

    When they do pretend to recruit, it is either they are looking for abject yes men or pliant nonentities as foot soldiers for their wars of hegemony and the compulsory superimposition of jaded worldviews. The result is there for all to see. You cannot plant cassava and expect to harvest yam tubers.

    Those who recruit political mercenaries to fight their cause should not be surprised when the same mercenaries turn against them when they get better offers. A political system which allows a treasured gift like Abiola’s daughter to be picked up by political hyenas rather than protecting and nurturing her to the pinnacle of politics is not fit for purpose no matter the grand propaganda.

    We are faced with an organic crisis of nationhood which requires those who can think out of the box. Let us once again remind ourselves of what Professor Bates, the master theorist of organic crisis, has to say about this.

    “An organic crisis involves the totality of society as well as its superstructure. An organic crisis is manifested as a crisis of hegemony, in which the people cease to believe the words of the nation’s leaders, and begin to abandon the traditional parties. The precipitating factor in such a crisis is frequently the failure of the ruling class in some large undertaking, such as war, for which it demanded the consent and sacrifice of the people”.

    Those who believe that the Nigerian crisis is amenable to quick fixes will discover at the end of the day that they have been deceiving themselves and the nation. The Hafsat Abiola interlude is a mere storm in a tea cup.

  • High drama as Okon is arraigned

    High drama as Okon is arraigned

    Since Okon has been released on police bail to face trial for affray and battery and conduct prejudicial to public order, the house has been swarming with serial bootleggers from Jamestown, drunken well-wishers and other colourful crooks from the creeks.

    One of these is a crazy old fellow clad in snow white suit who claimed to be a former officer of the Imperial Navy and who insisted that snooper must make him a good cup of Ceylonese tea every morning. When he was informed that snooper was actually Okon’s boss, the old bugger shrieked in Queen’s English: “Landlubber, get out of my mooring or I’ll torpedo your mother!!”

    On the D-Day, the court was swarming with noisy wannabes and smelling of antique perfumes from a Portuguese shipwreck. Dressed like an old sailor, Okon was brimming with mischief and radiant with irreverent pluck. By some miracle, the mad boy had smuggled a giant disused battery from a cannibalised jet into the courtroom as a principal exhibit. The fireworks began immediately the charges were read to the crazy one.

    “That you Okon Anthony Okon is committed for battery and affray and for conduct prejudicial to public order. On Thursday, the….”

    “ Point of incorrection !!”, Okon screamed, pointing at the battery. “How you fit charge me for battery when I get dem  Ogbonge battery? Okon no dey steal battery at all at all. And I no dey afraid of nothing. Ten Yoruba wrestlers no fit challenge Okon. And I don tell una say I no be conductor. Okon be houseboy and him  Oga dey court.”

    “ I see”, the lady magistrate began with demure elegance and bemusement. “I think I know this troublemaker. Mister man, have you ever been up before me?”.

    “My sister, how I fit answer dat kind question when we no dey sleep together?” Okon demanded with an irreverent smile. “If to say we dey bed together, I fit sabi when una dey wake. But sha for Lagos I wake up for six and for Calabar I wake up for 2 p.m”.

    “Stupid man”, the magistrate snapped, losing her cool. “I mean whether you have come before me”.

    “Egweee!!! See man see trouble ooo”, Okon began with a subversive frown. “As I no dey hammer you, how I fit know dat one? I don ask una before whether you be dem Yoruba woman I dey see for Aguda”.

    “Idiot”, the lady magistrate spat as she lost her cool and the entire court dissolved into laughter and wild cat calls. The shout of “order! order!” rent the entire court room.

    “You see now, the last time dem say make we order like dat in court and I say make dem give me  Apu and 404 dem police say I be stupid man”, Okon lamented bitterly, fuelling more caterwauling in court.

    The magistrate seemed to have had enough. She began packing her papers. “The accused person is hereby remanded in custody until the next hearing”, she shouted amidst the inglorious din.

    “Haba wetin be dat one now?  So Okon no go home and Okon no go jail? Which kind acting palaver be dat? Na dem Jonathan Badluck be dat”, Okon protested.

    “Just shut up”, the poor woman screamed.

    “How about dem feeding arrangement?” Okon demanded as the lady retreated to her chambers.

    “Idiot”.

    “Wey dem Falana and dem woman rights lawyer now?” Okon snarled as he was being led away. “If to say Gani no kaput he for done scatter dem yeye court by now. Abi na becos Okon be Efik boy? Dem yeye Yoruba lawyers, wey dem dey now?”

    First published in May 2010

     

  • Pastor Adeboye’s paradoxical posers?

    Pastor Adeboye’s paradoxical posers?

    In the last edition of this column, there was a Yoruba adage that was employed to convey meaning to the subject. The same proverb will be resorted to in kickstarting this edition of the “Followership Challenge.” It is often said in Yoruba common parlance: “agba ki wa l’oja ki ori omo tuntun wo”, meaning that the presence of an elder within a market square should prevent the awkward positioning of the head of a new born baby backed by the mother. It is not only intuitive but imperative for patriotic elder statesmen, at this core and crucial context our dear country has found itself, to speak truth to power. It is however seldom expected of a person and personality of Pastor Adeboye, who is known to be neither verbose nor garrulous, to spend so much time and energy on topical national issues like he passionately and patriotically did last Sunday at the Thanksgiving Service for the month of April at the Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG) National Headquarters, Ebute Meta, Lagos. The message was being telecast live to all RCCG Mission worldwide. RCCG is now present in over 190 countries globally. This columnist remembered with nostalgia the heydays of Archbishop Benson Idahosa, of blessed memory, the man with “fire in his bones”. What Adeboye would say proverbially, Idahosa would declare plainly no matter who ox was gored! A case in point: as I write, I could still not fathom the 2022 prophecy for Nigeria that Pastor Adeboye gave. What is in the prophecy? A terse, seemingly mystique, statement: “You don’t make an omelet without eggs.” Personally, I cannot make head or tail out of it, and many are on the same page with me regarding the interpretation of this enigmatic statement. Plainly speaking, Pastor Adeboye is simple but his statement about Nigeria could be enigmatic or puzzling. However, last Sunday, it was vintage Adeboye that spoke plainly, passionately, patriotically and powerfully with posers with the probability of pushing the people of Nigeria into donning our thinking caps!

    Adeboye and 2023 elections

    In the unusual opening remark to his message last Sunday, he warned politicians not to distract him from his assignment as he has, and will, not exhibit any partisanship as he has many of his sons and daughters in many political parties. Then, a shocker to all aspirants wanting his blessings. Adeboye unequivocally stated that he had just one prayer for all of them: “Father, let your will be done (sic).” As for 2023, he stated saliently that he does not know yet whether election would be held next year as God has not told him yet. He however, wittingly said, God may still speak to him as he is not foreclosing this happening before 2023. This is ominous! For all discerning followers of Adeboye’s antecedents to expressly communicate his thoughts the way he did last Sunday, it calls for sober and solemn reflections for our dear country, Nigeria. Which way Nigeria as 2023 beckons? Are not most of our politicians carrying on with the sobriquet: business as usual? However, Adeboye enjoined all Nigerians, especially his followers, to ensure they possess the voter’ cards, and fully partake in the electoral process as they could not complain if they refused to be fully involved. This is a good one. This columnist will also similarly make a clarion call to all faith leaders to instruct their followers and adherents. It is good for deepening and developing our democracy.

    Adeboye’s Puzzling Posers

    In his remark, unusually spanning more than 20 minutes in his sermon last Sunday, the highly revered cleric and spiritual father to millions globally posted some posers to the leaders or men in authority in our country to answer. In his own words:

    “You can’t go to Kaduna by road; you can’t go to Kaduna by air; you can’t go to Kaduna by train.

    No 1: Why Kaduna?

    No. 2: Who is trying to isolate Kaduna?

    No. 3: Why?

    No. 4: After Kaduna, which next?

    More than 80% of all the oil we are producing is being stolen, and nobody has denied it. It came from the government.

    No. 5: Who is the one stealing the oil?

    No. 6: Where is the money going to?

    80% of what is supposed to be the income of a nation is going into the hands of some people,

    No. 7: What do they want to do with the money?

    No. 8: Who are the foreign nations buying this stolen oil?

    No. 9: How many of these nations of the world are your friends?

    More than 90% of our income from the left over of the oil that was stolen, we are using it to pay the interests of the money we have already borrowed, and then, it is news, . . . after all you listened to the news, we are borrowing more (sic)!

    No. 10: Meaning what?

    According to a friend of mine, we are moving steadily to bankruptcy. If that God does not intervene, your children, your grandchildren and great grandchildren will still be paying debt.”

    Why is Kaduna being targeted? The military might and prowess of Nigeria is strategically situated in Kaduna. In essence, if Kaduna could be contained and cowed, then tell me which other city or town can withstand the assault of these satanic and ferocious invaders that our government at the centre seems to be handling with kid’s gloves even when their location is known! It is puzzling and bewildering!! Governor Nasir El – Rufai was dumbfounded and wished he could be empowered to deal commonsensically with these terrorists!!! Alas, his threat to hire foreign mercenaries to help if the federal security forces faltered was ultra vires taking cognizance of the 1999 Constitution (as amended). What could a hapless and helpless chief security officer of a state do in such a context?

    Adeboye: Oil Economy and Unresolved Conundrum

    President Muhammadu Buhari is the Minister of Petroleum Resources as we speak. Our country is being tainted with one of the worst corruption records even though our president is adjudged clean. How about a context where the sheriff is surrounded by seeming kleptomaniac scoundrels in the garb of state actors and their cahoots? How could everything be seemingly going on normal when more than 80% of our national wealth is being siphoned and stolen brazenly? In a report by the Office of the Auditor General the Federation, according to the Business Day edition of 4th January 2022: “… N608.71 billion was remitted by NNPC into the federation account for 2019. This development means there is a difference of N663.89 billion, between the figure NNPC-NAPIMS reported in its audited financial statements and the amount the AGF claimed the NNPC transferred into the federation account as remittance for 2019.” To resolve this impasse, the President should constitute an independent consultant of international repute to decipher the missing link. Or will a humongous amount of over N600 billion go down the drain like that under the President’s watch? We are watching to see whether at the exit of this current administration, there would not be more than meets the eye in worsening incidence of corruption than the wasteful and inglorious years of the locust reminiscent of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) in power.

    Conclusion

    It would not be necessary for the government at the centre to respond to the highly revered cleric and elder statesman. In the perspective of this columnist, it is better for the government to act decisively dealing with all the incidences of security breaches in Kaduna, Zamfara, Niger and all other states of Nigeria. Specific attention should be, at this point, fixated on Kaduna. In addition, the government should terminate forthwith the illicit thriving business of thieving of our collective commonwealth – oil. Enough is enough! Should we still go on another borrowing spree? Could we not explore other options economically? Are we diversifying enough with the intent to boost our economy? Why are we, as a country, not exploring and exploiting agribusiness (agro – industrialization) fully to propel our economy out of the doldrums? President Muhammadu Buhari: the remaining thirteen months of your being in the saddle could make a remarkable difference. It should not be wasted away!

    • Ekundayo can be reached via 08155262360 (SMS only) and drjmoekundayo@hotmail.com
  • Those giddy post -apc victory days of 2015 in retrospect

    Those giddy post -apc victory days of 2015 in retrospect

    What El Dorado did most Nigerians,  home and abroad, not think was at hand in their beloved country with the swearing in of President Muhammadu Buhari on May 29, 2015?

    Who could have blamed them for being so cocksure? This was, after all, none other than the deified, spartan soldier – turned politician, retired military General, former military Head of state who,  either in that office, or as Chairman, Petroleum Trust Fund, had neither a single gas station nor an oil block, and hadn’t  a  single corruption charge anywhere hanging on his neck. Till today, President Muhammadu Buhari remains a man of incandescent integrity.

    Indeed, so jubilant were Nigerians that before he took office,  his mere body language had wrought a considerable measure of orderliness in the country that many believed that finally,  the  long awaited Messiah had arrived, who would leapfrog Nigeria out of the dungeon into which PDP’s 16- year stranglehold had  sunk it.

    That was the type of unrestrained optimism, and jolitty, that birthed the article you are about to read.

    Titled:”BUHARI: Bold Agenda For The Next Four Years (A View From Abroad), it was published on these pages on Sunday, 24 May, 2015.

    Though no Nigerian alive, anywhere today, on terra firma needs be told how egregiously misplaced the hopes, and proposals, expressed therein have turned, I shall still, towards the end of this article,  make a few comments of my own on how things have, unfortunately, panned out under President Buhari.

    Happy but sober reading.

    “The columnist is currently on holidays in Houston, Texas, United States, and yields the column this Sunday to Segun Badipe, a Nuclear Medical Scientist who has been tortured to no end by PDP’S torrid 16 years of utter cluelessness”:

    “With the election over, it is imperative that the president- elect embarks on a bold and persistent agenda. It has been sixteen long years  since Nigerians have waited to have true dividends of democracy. With that in mind, the president- elect must move with deliberate speed to implement those political and economic promises that saw his party to victory in the just concluded elections. As no one is certain which program will deliver the most in the shortest time, his agenda must be properly interrogated by the party. This article will touch on some  major ones.

    On the political front, the President must go after all the treasury looters. This is certain to enjoy tremendous political support from Nigerians since they understand the connection between the excesses of the PDP and the political problems now confronting the nation.

    It is unfortunate that the judiciary has been thoroughly bastardised.  Concerning this, one is easily reminded of the Ibori case. Here was a governor, exonerated by Nigerian courts only to be convicted and jailed by a London court, with both courts  presented with the same set of facts. The Nigerian judiciary thus allowed an accused to go scot free with catastrophic financial consequences to his unlucky Delta state people, until a saner court, in a saner jurisdiction gave them justice. I mention this just to demonstrate the urgency of cleaning up the judiciary. President Buhari must use covert operations to flush out corrupt judges, as it would, otherwise, be difficult to  secure convictions against corrupt politicians who are crawling all over Nigeria.

    On the economic front, there is a lot that can be done to give the people hope. Nigeria is about the only country I know where politicians don’t feel any remorse for not delivering on their campaign promises. There are, of course, no quick fixes to the power/electricity problem on which the Obasanjo government famously  spent about 16B only to literally purchase darkness, adding nil megawatts to the existing stock. I would  suggest  that the Buhari government proceeds immediately  with rehabilitating all those moribund and comatose projects which can increase deliverables in the short run, when completed. That way, government can increase available electricity to about 6000 megawatts, that is, double what is currently available in the country. In  regard to the plants which are suffering from irregular supply of natural gas due to sabotage, plants could be built closer to  gas sources.  Also  leveraging on  extant laws, the president must seriously  go  after all the merchants of darkness – that  cabal that profits from darkness, and does everything, to sabotage improvement in the generation and distribution of power. That cabal must, consciensciously, be put out of business.

    If we learnt any lessons from the revolution in the telecommunications sector, it is that public services are more efficiently run when excessive  bureaucracy is bye-passed, or completely removed.  Our experience with big bureaucracy has been rather  ugly; NITEL, now a relic, being a good example – thanks to mobile telephony.  The Buhari administration must bring the same revolutionary changes into the power sector. This it can do by embarking on alternative energy sources to break the stranglehold of the cabal. Tax incentives could be offered to small and medium size businesses to purchase solar, wind and, even inverters, for the purpose of operating their business.  For large manufacturing concerns, government can very well experiment with clusters of businesses, in specific industrial zones,  which will help lower overhead costs, with tax incentives and subsidies.

    About the greatest problem the country faces today is insecurity with Boko Haram having suzerainty over many Local Government Areas in the Northeast .  Solving the Boko Haram problem will help, to a great extent, in laying the foundation for peace and meaningful progress in the country. If the president fails to do this,  nothing else will matter because life is key, and the primary purpose of government is to ensure the safety of life and property of her citizens. Not doing this means that a government,  qua government, forfeits it’s right to be in office. Some people have, very naively, suggested that government should negotiate with terrorists. This is a no no. Terrorists, by nature, do not play the give and take game. For them, it is all or nothing. Therefore, no responsible government should ever negotiate with terrorists, Rather, government must do everything to  put them completely out of circulation, whatever it will take. With enough men and resources, our army will see off these irritants and return peace to Nigeria.

    Finally, the monster of it all – corruption – for which the President-elect must device novel instruments to deal with. Using EFCC or ICPC  is  nothing  more than asking  the ruling class to prosecute itself which will  guarantee only minimal  success. The government must, therefore, necessarily have to think-out-of-the-box. It could, for instance, come up with an amnesty program whereby those who willingly confess to their acts of corruption could, after making full restitution, be allowed to keep some of the recovered loot, strictly  for purposes of  basic sustenance. This low cost technique of recovering public loot could be made available in the first 12 months of the new administration, after which it will become unavailable. The next step should be a whistle blower program. It is also a low cost technique, the essence of which is for persons who are intimately familiar with details of some corrupt acts to squeal on the perpetrators with a fraction of the recovered loot going to them as compensation. All they need is a legal pathway of uncovering the corrupt act. The whistle blower must help law enforcement recover the proceeds while such fraudsters are made to reap the full weight of their malfeasance. The whistle blower must have immunity from prosecution and be protected from any conceivable reprisals. Corruption rarely happens with only one individual. Rather, it is usually through a web of co-conspirators: bank officials, contractors and corrupt civil servants, all of who collude to plan and execute a fraud. Government only needs to  offer incentives to that one disgruntled participant who is willing to flip, and report everything. It is time for this novel technique in our country. It is particularly sickening, watching generations of our youths growing up, with little or nothing to hope for in life.

    Finally, we all want the president elect to succeed and for this to happen, he must neither be timid nor reckless. He must be guided by the timeless values of justice, fairness and hard work. Now more than ever before, Nigeria needs a statesman who is willing to work across ethnic and geographical divides and bring the best ideas to the table in order to build a great country we all can be proud of”.

    For purposes of space constraint, let me now make some brief comments especially on the current state of the issues raised by the guest writer beginning  by saying  that no programme of President Buhari  seems to have been interrogated by his party, the APC. As a matter of fact, he showed his hands early in this regard by surrounding himself, almost exclusively, with Northerners, except in statutory appointments. The result today, is that  Northerners are the Chief Executive officers of, at least, 70 per cent of all state agencies, if not more, and literally all of those in security related agencies. Even the Federal Character commission, which is to ensure geo- political equity in appointments into the public service has a Northern Executive secretary and Chairman. The net result is that inequality has been the bedrock of the Buhari  administration,  a fact, which has completely worsened the zoning controversy currently bedevilling the two major political parties.

    On corruption, unlike what happened under President Jonathan, the EFCC is now under a Supervisor-General in the person of the Attorney-General of the Federation,  Abubakar Malami. He it is, and no longer the agency, who determines who can, or cannot be tried, and which case, even while already ongoing,  can any longer be heard, no matter the offence, as happened in the case of a N7.9B fraud charge against a former minister whose case was no longer featured on any of February 22 (2021) and April 19 to which it was adjourned.

    So much now for the anti corruption war. And while at this, the least said about the judiciary the better. Judges’ houses are now so routinely savaged by security agencies that at a special session of the Supreme court for the 2021/2022 Legal Year in December, 2021, the otherwise reticent Chief Judge, His Lordship, Ibrahim Muhammad, could no longer hold back from warning against what he called the “oppression, suppression, and intimidation of judicial officers”.

    On the economy, we only have to simply look at the Naira, apart from the galloping food prices ravaging the country. In 2015 when the Buhari government came into office, the Naira exchanged, officially to the dollar, at around N197.88 but, today it is N580 at the parallel market, and at around N416 at the official rate. That should sum up the Nigerian economy today. One should have mentioned the huge investment in railway transportation infrastructure under the government, but Nigerians must now have to wait a little longer to know the true status of that gigantic undertaking.

    Without a scintilla of  doubt, the most agonising of all the issues touched is security as nobody in Nigeria today, apart from those in the presidency, can claim to be safe. Indeed, but for Governor  El Rufai’s take on the matter, and the sermon of the Apo Villa mosque cleric, I would have wagered that the war on Nigeria, long promised by the Fulani Nationality Movement, with neither police nor any other security agencies once questioning them, was already afoot. Strategists that they are,  they would know that things will not be so easy, come June 2023. So, as confirmed by those lucky to come out alive in the bombed Abuja train, young, 18 -20 year olds, from outside the country are now coming  into Nigeria at an alarming rate.  Those so freighted to Southern Nigeria during the pandemic are, of course, already at work.

    So according to a project of the Council on Foreign Relations’ Africa program, Nigeria Security Tracker (NST), “there were 5,800 reported deaths, and 2,943 kidnappings in the first half of 2021”.

    Today, to travel by road, rail or even possibly air,  in Nigeria, it will be necessary to say your goodbyes to loved ones, just in case you dont see again. That is how far insecurity has become socialised, Pan- Nigeria, in President Buhari’s government.