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Category: Family forum

  • Secrets to marital bliss (4)

    DEAR Reader,  This week, I will be giving you another secret that will open the door to your marital bliss – Being Knowledgeable of Your Spouse.

    When you know your spouse and your spouse knows you, less friction is bound to occur. With a good knowledge of your spouse, you will be able to relate with him or her. Bible says: …Ye husbands, dwell with them (your wife) according to knowledge giving honour unto the wife… (1 Peter 3:7). Husbands, you need to know your wife. Know her not just physically, but know her likes, dislikes, background, way of thinking, why she behaves the way she does, etc.

    You may think you’ve known your spouse well enough during courtship, but I tell you, there are a lot of undiscovered things you need to know and understand about each other. A month, a year, etc, is not enough.

    That’s why marriage is a lifetime experience. You never know everything at once; you get to know more each passing day. You can get to know each other better, by communicating and asking questions like, “Why did you do that?”, “How do you feel about this?”  You can do these in a calm and respectful manner. You can do things together, spend time together and study each other closely.

    The keys to knowing each other better are sincerity, being truthful, being unashamed, not being afraid of betrayal knowing that God is present to help both of you. Some husbands are afraid to tell their wives the truth, while some wives will not let their husbands tell the truth by the way they shout and abuse their husbands. Learn to be patient and build trust in each other. The Bible says: Now although the man and his wife were both naked, neither of them was embarrassed or ashamed (Genesis 2:25TLB). The “nakedness” spoken of here is not only physical but also emotional (your feelings), and spiritual (your goals and desires). Husband and wife bare their minds to each other; they don’t hide the truth from one other. I must tell you that it makes for better understanding and peaceful relationship.

    Lack of knowledge of what your spouse needs, and what is going on in his or her mind or life is what causes quarrels most times.  God’s Word says: And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times… (Isaiah 33:6). Wives, too, need to know their husbands, so they can help them. It says wisdom and knowledge enable you to enjoy stability.

    Not knowing your spouse well causes insecurity. If your spouse has been upset, find out why and find a way of helping him or her. If he or she is happy, find out why and rejoice with him or her. This enables you to have a stable home. Then the man is no longer eager to look outside the home for relaxation and comfort; rather, he is always reluctant to leave home because there is comfort at home.

    To be knowledgeable about your spouse, you must first of all know God. God’s Word says: And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free (John 8:32). To know the truth, you must accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. This is done by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour.  If you are set for it, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Secrets to marital bliss

    DEAR Reader, God designed your marriage to be sweet and exciting. If yours has lost its excitement, God can impart His joy and goodness into it.  As you read this article and apply the principles therein, my greatest heart’s desire for you today is that your home will come alive and be full of joy, laughter and excitement in Jesus’ name!

    This week, I will be sharing with you on Wisdom as one of the secrets to marital bliss. To enjoy marital bliss, wisdom is required. God’s Word says: Through WISDOM is an house builded; and by understanding it is established (Proverbs 24:3).

    I have noticed in the course of counselling people that most of the problems encountered in homes result from lack of wisdom, and wisdom is what makes a home sweet. With wisdom, you know what to do and at the appropriate time. As a husband, if you walk in wisdom, you will know how to relate with your wife and train up your children, not beating them up and posing to be a terror to your household. Wives who are full of wisdom relate easily with their in-laws and other members of their families.

    From the anchor text, you need to search for wisdom to operate your home. Therefore, open up and receive the wisdom you require to handle those situations correctly so that peace and joy will fill your home.

    The opposite of wisdom is foolishness. It is a problem rooted in the realm of the spirit. It is what causes a woman to react negatively, speak abusive words and misbehave (Proverbs 9:13). It is what causes a man to chase after other women to the destruction of his soul (Proverbs 7:7-23). Foolishness is a destroyer of the peace and sweetness in the home. If you learn to walk in wisdom, you will enjoy fulfilment in your family life. God’s Word says: Wisdom is the principal thing (Proverbs 4:7).

    The type of wisdom I am referring to here is not that which comes from education. So, don’t regret your level of education saying, “If I had gone to an institution of higher learning, I would be wiser than I am now”. The wisdom you require to shine in the family is from God. It is knowing what to do when confronted with an unpleasant situation and is based on your knowledge and application of the Word of God in your life. God’s Word says: Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock (Matthew 7:24).

    Who then is a wise man? He is one who hears and does the sayings of Jesus. These sayings are located in the Bible. As you hear the Word of God and apply, and practise it in your life, you are walking in wisdom.

    Do you desire the wisdom of God in your life and home? Why not surrender your life to Christ today so that a measure of God’s wisdom will be imparted upon you?  If you are set for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.” If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Vital forces for a happy home (4)

    DEAR Reader, HAPPY EASTER TO YOU! The death and resurrection of Christ will not be a waste in your life in Jesus’ name! We have examined some vital forces for a happy home. They include: Your Vibrant Relationship with God, Love and, Excitement and Gratitude. This week, I will be sharing on how to Rekindle the Fire and Keep Passion Alive in your home.

    By Daily Maintenance

    Marriage, like Spiritual re-birth takes regular maintenance. You might be tempted to think that once you are married, the work is over. Actually, the work is just beginning. If marriage doesn’t have daily maintenance, it will fall apart much faster than any machine. If we make it a spiritual discipline to love God and our spouses, we will find true happiness. Also, to maintain your marriage, you must continue to do those things you did in courtship, before you got marriage.  You can still fall in love again.

    By Spending Time Together

    Learn to spend time with your spouse. You need to create time for fun. You can go out on a date, stroll together, play games, etc (Genesis 26:8, Songs of Solomon 2:4). You must make yourself available to your spouse, whenever he or she needs you. No matter how choked up you are in activities, you must create room for your spouse by making yourself available (Ephesians 5:24). Similar to conversation, time spent together also drops rapidly after the honeymoon. Life becomes busy. Bills need to be paid; the home must be maintained and the children require attention. But all of life’s demands should not be at the expense of spending quality time together.

    You need to schedule outings, as if you were dating again. Do not allow months to pass without spending at least several hours together on a date. When you begin to do this, you will become intimate with your spouse. One of the reasons some marriages fail is a lack of intimacy.

    Little Things that will spark off your love for your spouse

    Remember your first dates together. If possible, re-enact that first date. Nothing seems to spark the flames as to remember your first fun times together.

    Court again. Do what you did to win the affections of your mate. Spend some time alone together. This is especially important, if you have children. It is essential for you as a couple to date and for your children to see you together.

    Make time for each other. In today’s busy society, days can go by without couples spending time together.

    Another way to spend time together is to practise “couch time.” Spend at least 15 minutes sitting together on the couch without the children. If you have children, stress the importance of your “Mommy and Daddy time” together. Not only do you have precious moments together, but your children will gain security knowing that their mommy and daddy enjoy spending time together.

    Show appreciation for the little things. An occasional card, flowers, meaningful gift or even just a simple “thank you” can mean so much.

    Say, “I love you” often. Reveal you care by your words and your actions.

    Always give your spouse a goodbye hug and kiss, before leaving in the morning.

    At the end of the day, greet your spouse with a hug, kiss and “how was your day?”

    Take time to really communicate and understand your spouse. Share your feelings with each other.

    Remain faithful in thoughts and deeds. Purity before marriage and fidelity after marriage is not only healthy from a physical viewpoint (prevention of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases), but from a marital perspective, as well. Nothing destroys a marriage quicker than infidelity.

    God made sex pleasurable. The married couple has nothing to be ashamed of; so, enjoy it!

    Don’t belittle your spouse, especially in front of others. Respect your spouse, even when you disagree.

    Wives, build up your husband’s ego: honour and respect him.

    Husbands, treat your wife like the queen you want her to be.

    Christian couples should read the Bible, pray and attend functions together.

    The grace to give it all it takes to enjoy a happy home is only available to those who are bona fide children of God. You can assume that status by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Vital forces for a happy home (2)

    DEAR Reader, It is a wonderful thing to be in God’s presence today! You are most welcome to this week’s teaching. Last week, I started teaching on the above subject, and gave you one of the vital forces for building a sweet home – Vibrant Relationship With God.

    This week, we are going to examine two other forces that make for a glorious, sweet and happy home. I refer to them as nuggets for Christians, who desire to reap all the blessings of the marriage covenant. These forces are: LOVE and EXCITEMENT

    Love is a potent force in the quest for a sweet home. It is the magnetic force that binds couples together. It is a vital force for sweet relationship. No wonder, Mother Theresa (Late), a Noble Peace Prize winner, when asked, “What can you do to promote world peace?” She answered, “Let everyone go home and love their families.” Love is the solution to every marital crisis! The Word of God says: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always, trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

    The above Scripture enumerates the characteristics of love. You can’t claim to love your spouse or family members, when any of these is missing in your attitude towards them.

    The opposite of love is selfishness. This is a plague that has destroyed many homes, and rendered many innocent children homeless in the society today. It is an abnormal affection for self and pursuit of selfish desires at the expense of your spouse or other members of your family.

    Selfishness is one of the traps of the devil; so, if you desire a sweet home, you must not give room to it. Maintain a standard of self-control and discipline in your home, by running your home in accordance with the Word of God.

    Another plague that prevents love from flourishing in most Christian homes is anger. It carries very costly consequences. It has ruined the destiny of most homes. It steals the seeds of love from homes, and replaces it with the seeds of discord, hatred and strife. Watch it! Stop it before it rubs you of a sweet home!

    God’s remedy for anger is, Let every man be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to be angry (James 1:5). You should, therefore, encourage your family members to love one another, so that everyone can escape the traps of the enemy and enjoy the blessings of God as a family.

    Excitement

    Joy and excitement are the spices of life. Unfortunately, they are the major things lacking in most homes today. Some couples even find it difficult to smile at one another. But the Word of God says: Rejoice, and again I say rejoice (Philippians 4:4). The home is not meant for silence and dull atmosphere, resulting from cold wars between husband and wife, or lack of love between family members.  The home is meant to be a place of excitement.

    Look at this testimony:

    “I have been married for over 12 years, but what I am enjoying now, I’ve never enjoyed since I got married. I thank God for His Word to me through you. You taught … and laid emphasis on wives being submissive to their husbands in everything, just as the church submits to Christ. My understanding opened and I told God, ‘Lord, from this day, I know that obedience is the key. Ever since that day, I have been enjoying what all my fasting, binding and all couldn’t deliver to me. I thank God that now it’s like I am wedded anew. Just yesterday morning, to confirm God’s faithfulness in my home, my husband gave me a cheque for one hundred thousand Naira, which I cashed this morning. I now enjoy peace, love and harmony. Adebayo, L

    The Word of God say: If I make you sad, who is going to make me happy? You are the ones to do it, and how can you if I cause you pain? (2 Corinthians 2:2 TLB). God created the family in such a way that the joy and pain of each member affects other family members. You are the one to create excitement in your home. Instead of being a problem to your family, why not create an excitement? Don’t give room to sadness in your home.

    In addition, you need to give your life to Jesus Christ in order to receive grace for building a sweet home. If you are ready to give your life to Christ, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Vital forces for a happy home

    DEAR Reader, Everybody wants a happy home, but only few homes today are truly happy. The home is at the very centre of satan’s attack. He tries to introduce all manner of evil into the homes. Marriages are facing tremendous pressures today, as satan is busy attempting to break up homes. Divorce is rampant. In many homes, where divorce has not occurred, there is much sorrow and unhappiness. But we have hope in Christ. God’s Word says: Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place (2 Corinthians 2:14).

    The only hope for strengthening the home and marriage relationship is to know and to apply the principles of the Word of God. Jesus Christ makes a wonderful difference in any home. But you must know Him as your personal Saviour, and do things His way. The purpose of this article is to share some of the life-transforming principles of the Bible – with the prayer that as they are put into practice, marriages will be strengthened, lives will be changed, couples will re-unite and homes will be rebuilt in Jesus’ name.

    Is your marriage and home fulfilling and satisfying? How can you enjoy the blessings of a happy home? The hope for a happy marriage and home is a vibrant relationship with God.

    The Bible says:  Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it; except the Lord keep the city, the watchman wakes but in vain (Psalm 127:1). A city may have a watchman or even many watchmen, and take all kinds of precautions against attack but if the Lord is not in His rightful place (and if the Lord is not guarding and protecting that city), then everything else they might do for protection is in vain. It is the same in building home and marriage. You may do many things in building a marriage, but if you are not allowing the Lord to be in control and to build your home, all is in vain. A vibrant relationship with God is the cornerstone that holds a home together.

    Tips on Vibrant Relationship with God

    • The vibrancy of man’s relationship with God, determines the vibrancy of his relationship with men, especially his family members.
    • Difficulty in relating with family members is an indication of a non-existent relationship with God.

    How Does Your Relationship with God Help You to Build a Happy Home?

    • Remember that your relationships mould your life and destiny; therefore, who you relate with is who you become.
    • God’s nature rubs of on you; you are injected with His kind of personality. God loves sacrificially and unconditionally; so, loving your family members in the same way becomes a way of life for you.
    • An understanding of the fact that “All Things Are Yours” dawn on you, a crisis-free family inclusive.
    • You imbibe God’s mentality. God thinks good of us; hence, your thoughts about your spouse, children, in-laws, etc, would also become good.
    • You receive God’s wisdom for discretion to know how to handle and relate with everyone in your family.
    • You become godlier. The godlier you become the more godly your family becomes, and the farther away crisis will be from you and your family.
    • God supplies His unfailing help and grace, which man needs to live a crisis-free life with his family.

    Love and Respect for God

    If you love and respect God, love and respect for and from your spouse would be easy to achieve.

    • Love and respect for your husband/wife, will become second nature to you.
    • A woman who loves God will receive a harvest of love from her husband.
    • A woman who respects God will find it natural to respect her husband.
    • A man who respects God will receive a harvest of respect from his wife.
    • A man who loves God will find it natural to love his wife.

    Communing

    Communing is the art of having intimate conversation, while passing across information, feelings, thoughts and emotions to another person. The Bible says: Whoso keepeth the fig tree shall eat the fruit thereof: so he that waiteth on his master shall be honoured (Proverbs 27: 18).

    You can’t claim to know someone, who you don’t commune with.  Communication is the live wire of any relationship.

    Having a happy home, starts with being connected to God.  You get connected by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • God’s standard for locating a marriage partner (3)

    DEAR Reader, So far, we have seen the importance of spiritual compatibility and the help of God in your choice of a marriage partner. This week, we shall be examining The Four-Fold Purpose of Marriage, as revealed to us in the Word of God. Understanding these purposes for marriage is of utmost importance, because to marry and miss it is to enter into a life full of frustration and disappointment – setting the stage for great marital unrest.

    Years ago, Myles Munroe made a profound statement when he said, “Where purpose is not known abuse is inevitable…” The word “abuse,” is the combination of two English words: abnormal and use. When a person does not understand the purpose of a thing, they almost always abnormally use or abuse that thing and marriage is not excluded here.

    Partnership

    One of the Four-Fold Purpose of Marriage primarily is partnership. We could also call it, companionship. When God created us, the Scripture says: We were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). Part of our make-up is: God DID NOT create us to be alone. He specifically created us for companionship and declared this revelatory truth when He stated: It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him (Genesis 2:18).

    The yearning we have for companionship is part of our spiritual DNA. God designed the partnership of marriage to fulfill that yearning. This divinely inspired partnership was designed to fortify both participants, in ways that mere words cannot aptly express or define.

    It is God’s intention that marriage should offer companionship.  The composition of man is such that requires constant fellowship.  Loneliness has been discovered to be one of the causes of mental retardation and suicide in many. Marriage is, therefore, a means of fulfilling the need for fellowship.

    It is unfortunate that many couples are missing out on this purpose for marriage. Even though some couples dwell together under the same roof, constant quarrels and rancour pull them kilometres apart; so they live together but yet alone. Such marriages are always empty: a pointer to frustrations and possible divorce.  This is not the will of God. God expects you to have sweet communion, not only with Him, but also with your partner. As a matter of fact, it is difficult to enjoy fellowship with God, when your fellowship with your spouse is disrupted.

    True companionship will add meaning to your marriage. Your spouse is not just your room-mate, but also your closest friend.  Your spouse ought to be your best consultant and closest associate in all things. When this happens, you will find pleasure and fulfilment in your marriage relationship.

    Pleasure

    One of the ways this partnership fortifies, invigorates, relaxes the participants is through sexual relations. The truth is: God has designed us with a sex drive, and He intended for man and woman to express and joyfully fulfill their sexual desires with each other, through the rites of a covenant marriage.

    He programmed our bodies to respond to touch, taste, sight, sound and aroma. Apart from preventing temptation, both husband and wife should satisfy their sexual urge. They are provided with legitimate avenues to release their sexual desires.

    This is why God frowns at adultery, because your partner should be enough to satisfy you. I often say humorously, that there is nothing another man or woman has that your partner doesn’t have. All you need is to be content with your spouse, and you will enjoy the blessings of marriage.

    Procreation

    Another vital purpose of marriage is procreation: the conceiving and bearing of offspring. The Lord God revealed this part of the four-fold purpose of marriage, when He released these commanding words: And God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth… (Genesis 1:28 (Amplified Bible).

    Also in Jeremiah 29:5-6, God’s Word says: Build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them; Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished.  His vision is to fill the earth with righteous men and women, who bring forth righteous children. The Lord intended on parents instilling in their offspring – godly morals and family values, (Proverbs 22:6). His plan is for this model of the family to multiply and flourish, until the earth is filled with men and women who reverence and obey His Word.

    Purity

    In His infinite wisdom, the Lord God purposed for marriage to protect us from the consequences and devastation of a society engrossed in moral chaos and sexual immorality. His Word says: Honour marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex (Hebrews 13:4 (The Message).

    Make no mistake about it; God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. Marriage was and is the only pathway the Lord has ordained for a man and woman to engage in sexual relations (1 Corinthians 7:2 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11).

    The power to live a life of purity is the privilege of those born again. Are you born again? This is by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready to be born again, please say this prayer:  “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • God’s standard for locating a marriage partner (2)

    DEAR Reader, Last week, we saw the importance of spiritual compatibility in your choice of a marriage partner. This week, I will be showing you how to Depend Absolutely on God, in your choice of a marriage partner.

    How is your personal walk with God?

    Are you trusting Him with the small, day-to-day decisions? Are you living in continual dependence on Him? Are you in the place where He can get your attention? You must ask yourself these crucial questions.

    Why do I need God’s help in choosing a mate?

    The concept of marriage originated solely from God. Mankind had absolutely nothing to do with the institution of marriage; except for being a recipient of its manifold blessings. It was God Who decided that it was not good for man to be alone and made a helpmeet for him. After that, He (God) presided over the first ever wedding ceremony recorded in history. This is why God’s help is highly needed.

    You need God’s help to prepare you for marriage and to help select the person who will be best for you. He will enable you to select someone who will help you fulfil God’s plan and purpose for your life. As Christians, we have to learn over and again that we must wait on the Lord; the One Who provides all we need. All you need to do is come to God in prayer with an open spirit. Be confident that God loves you, and knows your end from the beginning and wants the best for you.

    What does the story of Isaac and Rebekah tell us about trusting God?

    Abraham and his servant Eliezer (rather than Isaac and Rebekah) give us the example to follow (Genesis 15:2-6, 24:2-4). In verse 7, Abraham expressed his trust in God’s ability to lead Eliezer to the right woman for his son. Abraham said: The Lord . . . will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. This statement of faith was not wishful thinking. Rather, those words grew out of a long-term close relationship that Abraham had with the Lord. He could look back and see how the Lord had met every need and led him in the past. He knew that the Lord could be trusted to guide him in this crucial choice for his son, Isaac.

    Abraham was a living, breathing example of the truth of Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.  As Abraham lived by faith, the Lord blessed him and guided his life. His servant Eliezer displayed the same kind of faith when he prayed: O Lord God of my master Abraham, please give me success this day, and show kindness to my master Abraham (Genesis 24:12).

    As a single person, you can have the same confidence and quiet assurance that your life is under God’s control. As long as you walk humbly, submissively and obediently, you need not worry that you will somehow miss God’s direction about which way to turn. Just as Abraham humbled himself before the King of the universe, so should you seek God’s Kingdom first and He will take care of all your needs (Matthew 6:33) which include helping you to find a spouse or to live for Him as a single person.

    Some single persons express the fear that God may give them someone they do not want, when they commit everything unreservedly into His hands. So, they do not pray at all about it.  This means, they do not trust God enough to give them the best.  God’s Word says: If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? (Matthew 7:11). No earthly parent will want to give a harmful thing to his child, and God is more loving than earthly parents. Be sure therefore, that God will give you a partner after His own heart.

    How should I pray for God to lead me to the right partner?

    You have to pray often! God is intimately interested in hearing your requests concerning this matter. As you bring your requests before Him and submit yourself to His direction, you can be sure that He will give you nothing but what He wants for you (Psalm 37:4-5; Matthew 7:7-12).

    When the servant of Abraham spoke to Rebekah about his purpose for being in Nahor, he said: As for me, being on the way, the Lord led me to the house of my master’s brethren (Genesis 24:27). Eliezer had followed instructions and was in the place, where God could give further direction. We too must be “on the way,” walking in obedience to God, if we expect Him to lead us.

    How does the Holy Spirit guide my choices, thinking & feelings?

    Even though the New Testament contains several examples of how the Holy Spirit can lead through inner impressions (Acts 8:29; 11:28; 13:2; 21:11; 1 Corinthians 14:30), separating our subjective feelings or urges from the voice of the Spirit is not always an easy thing to do. However, we can be sure that the Spirit would never violate the clear commands of the Bible. The Spirit would never tell us to choose to marry an unbeliever. He would not lead us to marry for money or guide us to marry in conflict with the principles of the Word of God.

    Are you in the place where God can lead you?

    For instance, you can’t expect Him to direct you to a Christian mate, if you are hanging around people who don’t have good reputations, or engaged in premarital sex. God won’t direct you if you are neglecting times of personal prayer and worship, or harbouring sinful attitudes. You can’t expect God’s help in choosing a mate, if you are living in disobedience to His will. This is why it becomes very important that you surrender your life to Christ and become born again.

    Surrendering your life to Christ means to confess your sins and accept Jesus as your Saviour and Lord.  If you are ready to be born again, please say this prayer:  “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Becoming a help meet (3)

    DEAR Reader, Greetings to you in the mighty name of Jesus Christ! In the first teaching of this lesson, I explained to you about knowing your position as a helpmeet. Last week, I discussed on hurting or helping. I don’t know if you have been able to ascertain the position God has ordained for you as a wife or locate the area where you are hurting your husband. If you have not done that, I want you to do it right now. Just pause as you are reading this teaching, and identify that area where you have been hurting your husband, or have not been of help to him. Then, ask God to help you so you can put an end to it. You shall not fail in Jesus name!

    Today, I want to discuss on: Operating in Wisdom as a Helpmeet. Marriage can be likened to a house, and every house is built by men, using certain building materials. Wisdom is a good quality material for building your marriage and home. The Word of God says:  Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established (Proverbs 24:3).

    What is wisdom? Wisdom is knowing which way to go, and going there. It is knowing how to handle situations and make them produce your desired results. It is also knowing how to make it in life.  When you know how to make things work in your family, you are walking in wisdom. Wisdom is also the correct application of knowledge. So, before you can walk in wisdom, you must locate knowledge from the Word of God. You cannot blame God or anyone else for what your home looks like. The Word of God says:  Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands (Proverbs 14:1).

    God in His infinite wisdom has planned one man for one woman.  Every woman in God’s design has her own home. What becomes of that home, however, depends on the woman. This appears to be an awesome responsibility, but by the grace of God and hard work, it is accomplishable.

    There is a story in the Bible of a woman who operated in wisdom; her name is Abigail. She was a woman of wisdom and good understanding. Abigail took a wise step that changed the mind of David from committing the sin of murder. The Word of God says: Now the name of the man was Nabal; and the name of his wife Abigail: and she was a woman of good understanding, and of a beautiful countenance: but the man was churlish and evil in his doings; and he was of the house of Caleb. And David said to Abigail, Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me: And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand (1 Samuel 25:3,18,32-33). Abigail is a wise woman indeed.

    Whenever your husband takes a wrong decision that can affect the whole of your generation, you have a responsibility to play a very wise role. If your husband has certain weaknesses that you are strong in, help him; appreciate his good points and point out his mistakes in a kind, and gentle way.

    You need wisdom as a help meet to know “when” to say “what to say.” Take the example of a woman whose husband is just returning from work, tired. Immediately after welcoming him, she announces to him not to expect any food, because there is nothing in the house. Then she wonders why he gets very angry! Remember, a hungry man is an angry man! It may be true that there is no food in the house, but it was said in the wrong way, at the wrong time, and at the wrong place.  As a wise woman, you must know “when” to say “what to say.” It is foolishness to say things just at any time. The Word of God says:  A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards (Proverbs 29:11). The wise still says what is in his heart, but he knows when and where to say it. Whenever there is a matter you want to resolve, locate the right place and time. Not when your husband is hungry or tired, and definitely not in the presence of his colleagues.

    Wisdom can be reflected in the way you speak. How do you address your husband? Some women talk to their husbands rudely, using derogatory words. No, it is very wrong!

    You can convey your message or indifference by your choice of words.  By speaking right and gracious words you will draw your husband closer. A sister said that she had always encountered difficulties in her home because she could not control her tongue.  Below is her testimony:

    “When I was ready for marriage, I noticed that some things were working against me. But I was not a serious Christian then. However, when I dedicated my life fully to Jesus Christ in 1992, it became obvious that I lacked wisdom and counsel, and was emotionally immature. All the same, I got married, and the Lord has been merciful.

    But on joining this Church, and from the different ministrations I received, my life and marriage became meaningful and received direction. Now, my marriage is established, and I am free from all manner of oppressions of the wicked. My family has been increased remarkably, and I now apply myself to the wisdom of God that has been imparted to me here!” – Opera, C. N.

    Words can be correctly used to bring you favour with your spouse.  Without doubt, right words spoken at the right time are of great value. In presenting an issue, your approach is very important. Also, your approach may be right, but your tone of voice could be demoralizing.  Friction in families, in most cases, is as a result of saying the right thing at the wrong time, in the wrong place, or with the wrong voice tone.  There is a due season for every word! However, it takes wisdom to be able to identify the due season. So, study your husband and know what and when to relate things to him. You shall not fail in Jesus’ name!

    To get wisdom that will enable you to play your role as a helpmeet, you need to be born again. This means to accept the wisdom of God which is Jesus Christ. When you do so, you shall begin to operate in wisdom. You can say this prayer and you shall be born again: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Making a change in your problematic children (3)

    HELLO Reader, Calvary greetings to you in the name of Jesus Christ! Last week, I explained physical clean-up as one of the ways to set the pace for the season. Today, I shall be talking on Budgeting. Do you have a financial budget?

    Many families do not see the need for a budget. Take time to survey how many families have a financial budget. You will discover that only two out of 10 families sampled, would have financial budgets for their families. A family that desires to prosper financially should have a laid down rule for spending money.

    It is a fact that those who fail in life do so because they failed to plan. Planning is a vital requirement if you desire a financial miracle. So, plan out your family’s weekly and monthly expenditures especially this Christmas season. The Word of God says: For which of you, intendi ng to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?… Or what king, going to make war against another king, sitteth not down first, and consulteth whether he be able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand? (Luke 14:28-31).

    ‘Sitteth down first’ means to map out a plan. That is to plan your expenditure pattern. If you don’t, impulsive spending can rob you of a bright financial future. One man of God said that any army general that wants to go to war must win the battle on paper first, before he takes his men to the battle-field or else they will be slaughtered. He must first sit down and draw a strategy of attack on paper. He should also have alternatives in case of a surprise attack. The same thing applies if you desire to have a financial future. You need to plan how you are going to spend your money on paper first.

    What is planning? Someone said, “Planning is thinking plus writing.” This means to think about the things you need to spend money on during the month, list them out and calculate so when the money comes, you know where to put it. This also involves projecting into the future because as you think, “What do I need money for this month?” you are thinking ahead. For the believer in Christ Jesus, this is the essence of “the gift of a sound mind.” …But we have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16).

    Planning and budgeting are necessary for proper financial management. Otherwise, how will you know how much you need per month, if you have not sat down to write out what your expenditures for the month are. Also, if you find out that what you earn is not enough, sitting down to plan will help you tailor your expenditure. As a child of God, you ought to cut your coat according to your cloth.

    Beware of waste: To waste what you have is an offence to the Lord. The Lord Jesus gave us this example when He said: …Gather the fragments that nothing be wasted (John 6:12). God’s Word says: I created the waster to destroy (Isaiah 54:16). This means a waster is also a destroyer. He destroys good things without knowing.

    Priority Spending

    In spending money, DISCIPLINE is a major requirement. Engage in priority spending. It is being able to ascertain the things needed and buying them first before other items. Not all spendings are right. If you’re indebted, understand that debt is not the will of God for you, whether you entered into it as a result of pressure from legitimate needs or lack of contentment with your present position or possession. So, steer clear of indebtedness, for God hates it. The Word of God says: Owe no man anything but to love (Romans 1:8). You can be free from debt. Mix prudence with contentment, and you will enjoy great gain. Learn to order your priorities right. There are certain things you collect on credit that could wait till later. Please live your size per time. Cut off from friends who drive you to live above your means. The Word of God says: All things are lawful but not all are expedient (1 Corinthians 6:12). The word “expedient” in the above scripture means suitable and necessary. Therefore, engage in buying things that are necessary and vital per time. God hates waste (John 6:12).

    Investing For The Future

    Foolish spending is one major cause of borrowing and lack. To avoid foolish spending, occasional investments must be made. Setting aside some amount from earnings is necessary. Even the Lord Jesus had a treasurer (John 13:29), who kept some amount in case of need. The Lord, Himself, admonished the man with the one talent saying: why didn’t you deposit small amounts in the bank today, in order not to engage in begging or borrowing tomorrow (Luke 19:23). Benjamin Franklin also said, “…He that goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing.” Therefore, don’t bring sorrow into your home by being a borrower.

    Accountability

    God believes in accountability and budgeting. How do I know? It is because He stated so in His Word (the Bible). We need to “count the cost” (Luke 14:28) of our financial transactions. God, Himself, keeps records and accounts of things (Acts 10:4) and passed on this practice to men on earth (Esther 6:1). We shall be asked to give account (Romans 14:12).

    You need to be accountable, not just to yourself, but to God who is the Supplier of all your provision and money and to your spouse who is your partner in the home. Women, wives, mothers, choose to be accountable: list out your income, expenses and review them from time to time to assess whether your financial transactions are prudent or if you need to adjust your spending pattern. Make a budget monthly, weekly and daily, and record your spendings. I have a little dairy I carry around with me where I record any money spent. That way at the end of the month I can easily recollect all I spent money on during the month. Accountability pays. The Lord says: …Thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many… (Matthew 25:21). Being faithful financially qualifies you to receive more money from the Lord, and from men too. I always make sure I submit a breakdown of expenses to my dear husband whether he asks for it or not.

    I remember one day, many years ago, my husband came to my office with a cheque book and said, “I have watched you over the years, you have been so faithful financially. You are so different from many other women; so prudent in spending and not a waster. God wants to lift you. This is the cheque book to our accounts all the leaves have been signed, any time you want money, don’t ask, I trust you absolutely and the Spirit of God is inside you.” Then he left. I said to myself: “God, this is an awesome responsibility,” and the Lord said to me: “Because you have been faithful in little, you have been promoted. How faithful you are with this responsibility will determine how great your promotion will be tomorrow.” Up till today, my dear husband does not ask me how I spend money because he trusts me. He had watched me and found me faithful in time past. Because of his trusting me, I see to it that I don’t transact money in any area without his knowledge.

    You need the grace for accountability which is available only to those, who are born again. Are you born again? This begins by you accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you which to do so, say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Setting the pace for the season

    HELLO Reader,Thank God it is December, the month of Christmas! I am sure you have every reason to be thankful unto God for His goodness, mercy, protection, healing, provisions and all that He has done for you this year. You may say, “I don’t have any reason to be thankful to God,” but I know that there is no truth in that. This is because the fact that you are still breathing, is a proof that you owe God thanks!

    In this glorious month, I shall be teaching on, Setting The Pace for the Season! I want you to know that there is a need to set the pace for the season, in order to enjoy the blessings therein. You must also understand that this is a season for sober reflection and thanksgiving to God. That is why I shall be focusing on Spiritual Cleansing As You Set the Pace For The Season.

    Give yourself to fasting

    I would like to define fasting as deliberately doing away with physical food so as to pay more attention to spiritual things. Fasting, therefore, is a spiritual device that keeps you in tune with God. As you set the pace for the season, you can set time aside to fast and give yourself to prayer. The Word of God says: Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke? (Isaiah 58:6-8). From this scripture, you can see that there are a lot of benefits imbedded in fasting. I don’t know the kind of yoke that is ravaging your life. But I know one thing, as you engage in a fast, you shall have liberty in the name of Jesus!

    Let go of Bitterness

    The spirit of bitterness is what is plaguing so many families today. But as you engage in spiritual clean-up to set the pace for the season, the spirit of bitterness will give way for the blessings, and the spirit of the season will find its way into your family. The Word of God says: If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me (Psalm 66:18). If you want to experience the blessings that God has reserved for this season, you have to do away with every form of iniquity in your life and that of your family life. The Word of God says: Thou crownest the year with thy goodness; and thy paths drop fatness (Psalm 65:11). If you want God to crown the year for you with His goodness and for His paths to drop fatness for you, there are certain things you must do away with.

    Bitterness starts from a very little thing, then grows to become a big mountain. Perhaps, your spouse or a family member has done something to hurt you, and you refuse to forgive him or her. Whenever you remember that incidence, it brings you pain. Watch it! That is a root of bitterness springing up gradually. If it is not dealt with immediately, it will ultimately trouble you. The Word of God says: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled (Hebrews 12:15). The term “springing up” connotes a thing that starts small, and then suddenly shoots up. Once bitterness gains access into your heart and it is not handled immediately, very soon, it will magnify itself and dominate you. That shall not be your portion in Jesus’ name!

    Another thing about bitterness is that it actually troubles and embitters individuals. In other words, you lose your rest to bitterness. If you are bitter against your spouse, for instance, when he or she is in the sitting room, you will want to be in the bedroom. As a result, there will be no rest within you.

    Also, bitterness makes you to fall short of the grace of God. That means, when you harbour bitterness, you are actually frustrating the grace of God on your life; and what are you without His grace? The Word of God says: But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace (1 Corinthians 15:10). Thus, you need God’s grace to succeed in your family, so, watch that spirit of bitterness!

    Let go of Unforgiveness

    Unforgiveness is one major crack in the wall of many families today. It causes families, husband and wife to hold on to issues, offences, misunderstanding and various hurts of the past, and before long, it tears the family apart. Bitterness is a root that grows into the tree of unforgiveness. Wherever you see unforgiveness, know that bitterness is at its root. Unforgiveness is wickedness! An unforgiving wife, husband or child is a wicked person.

    Don’t be identified with the wicked. The incident in Matthew 18:23-35 is a good example. A man, who owed 10,000 talents, begged his creditor to be patient with him till he was able to pay back the money owed, and his creditor forgave him the debt. But this same man saw a fellow servant, who owed him only 100 pence, and refused to forgive him. Instead, he threw the man in prison. As a result of his unforgiveness, he was classified as being wicked and his Lord was angry with him. Similarly, our unforgiveness invite God’s anger. Therefore, you must let go of unforgiveness, so God won’t be angry with you. In that account, the unforgiving servant was also delivered to the tormentors. That means unforgiveness and bitterness brings torment. Afflictions such as poverty, barrenness, sickness and the like in the family are from the tormentors, as a result of unforgiveness. Unforgiveness opens the door to the tormentors of life. That servant never enjoyed his master’s forgiveness. The same way, embittered people never enjoy forgiveness from God, because what you sow, you will reap (Genesis 8:22). Learn to instantly forgive each other. In fact, you can go a step further by learning to forgive even before offences are committed. Receive grace to do so in Jesus’ name!

    Let go of Anger

    Another thing that will hinder God’s blessing from reaching your family this Christmas season is anger. We all get angry at one time or the other, but the Word of God says: Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil (Ephesians 4:26-27). By holding on to anger, you open the door to sin. If you are upset about the way your spouse or any of your family members does certain things at certain times, rather than exploding and speaking cruel words which can cause irreparable damage, control your emotions. You can also take a walk or go to the prayer closet, until your anger simmers down. Always remember that anger is like a kettle of boiling water; as long as the fire is on, the water boils hotter. To cool the water, you would need to turn off the source of fire, place the kettle on a cool surface and give it time to cool down. Within a few hours, that formerly boiling water can be drunk straight from a glass. Anger is just like that. Therefore, watch it!

    In addition, you need to be born again in order to receive the grace of God to do away with those things that can rob you of the joy of the season. You can say this prayer, if you want to be born again: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; or 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).