The Nation Newspaper

Category: New Woman

  • NITDA, Communications Ministry urged to extend AfDB project across 774 LGAs

    NITDA, Communications Ministry urged to extend AfDB project across 774 LGAs

    The National Information Technology Development Agency (NITDA) and the Federal Ministry of Communication and Digital Economy have been admonished to extend the Code for Employment initiative of the African Development Bank (AfDB) to the 774 Local Government Areas (LGAs) in the country.

     Information Communication Technology (ICT) expert, Akindayo Akindolani, made the call yesterday during a two-day summit organised by Afritex in partnership with the Federal Ministry of Education in Abuja.

     Akindolani said since NITDA, for instance, has computer centres built in almost the 774 LGAs nationwide, the digital ambassadors trained by the AfDB, through partnerships with Microsoft and the McAnderson Institute of Technology (MIT), could support more unemployed youth at the grassroots areas.

     He said this move could help reduce the rising unemployment rate in the country, as the capacity building would prepare the beneficiaries for high-paying remote jobs in the digital space.

    Read Also: Nigeria woos foreign investors with attractive forex repatriation, RoI

     Akindolani said: “NITDA can scale the project in all the 774 LGAs by empowering the Digital Ambassadors trained to continue the redeployment of the capacity building in their local governments.

     “I am confident that code for employment is capable of reducing unemployment once we expose our youth to the required skills for future jobs. Once our people are rightly skilled with the in-demand-driven skills, then getting a job placement within and outside Nigeria would be an easy thing.”

     The AfDB’s Code for Employment program is a pilot project where 500 change makers, 45 percent of whom are women from four countries, were selected for the digital ambassadors program.

    The selected digital ambassadors embarked on a three-month course during which they were equipped with in-demand digital skills, such as software development.

    Also, soft skills, such as problem-solving, project management, and communication.

    The beneficiaries are subsequently allowed to partake in a peer-to-peer training model that seeks to expand digital skills to more African youth, especially in rural communities with limited internet connectivity.

    Akindolani said the code for the employment program is operational in Côte d’Ivoire with 75 participants, 100 beneficiaries from Kenya, about 150 from Nigeria, and 175 youth from Senegal.

    Akindolani, the founder of MIT, further advocated the need for the education ministry to infuse digital literacy and coding skills into the school curriculum.

    According to him, the policy would, in the long run, help the majority of the students become labor employers rather than wait for the usual white-collar jobs.

    He advised that the potential partners could provide a stipend for the code for employment beneficiaries across the local communities in the local governments. This, he noted, was to grab their attention and ultimately deliver on the project.

    AfDB’s Director for Human Capital, Youth and Skills Development, Martha Phiri, said: “The Digital Ambassadors Program has come at the right time when the Bank is putting the finishing touches to the Skills for Employability and Productivity in Africa Action Plan 2022–2025. The Action Plan will equip African youth with the skills that are in high demand, skills the labour market requires. Both will complement each other and will create a positive impact on Africa’s workforce and lead to economic transformation.”

    Akindolani, however, noted that the project is already in alignment with the vision of the communication ministry on job creation through digital skills.

    Some of the beneficiaries are Usman Zakariyya Muhammad from Bauchi; Idris Adegbite, Lagos, Olumide Adebayo, also from Lagos, and David Chigbu from Abia state.

  • BREAKING: Coup: ECOWAS parliament seeks lifting of sanctions against Niger Republic

    BREAKING: Coup: ECOWAS parliament seeks lifting of sanctions against Niger Republic

    The Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) Parliament has appealed to the Heads of State and Government in the region to lift the sanctions imposed on the Niger Republic.

    The Head of State in ECOWAS had last July imposed sanctions on the Niger Republic to protest the ouster of President Mohamed Bazoum by certain military officers led by erstwhile Presidential Guard Commander, General Abdourahamane Tchiani.

    The Chief Whip of the Senate, Senator Ali Ndume, who addressed journalists after the opening session of the parliament, declared that states in Nigeria, about seven of them bordering Niger Republic are at the receiving end of the sanctions.

    Read Also: ECOWAS judges resolve to reposition court

    Ndume said: “Children and women have been exposed to untold hardship. No meaningful progress has been made in resolving this issue. We are appealing to ECOWAS states to lift the sanction and open the closed border between Niger and Nigeria because it is the poor that are suffering. Let me say this is a collective decision by concerned citizens.

    “This Press conference is simply an appeal to the ECOWAS Heads of State to consider the humanitarian situation and resolve the political impasse in Niger.”

    Details shortly…

  • Tired November and yogurt snack

    Tired November and yogurt snack

    It was a tired November morning, when Sexy Jola ran to Tamara’s apartment with a bucket in hand.

    Christabel, Ada, Tinu  and I were already in the room, just lazing about, and gisting of the hike in the price of fuel, its impact on food and families. 

    So it came as a surprise as I opened the door to see Jolaolu with a bucket.

    “Ah-ah-ah Jola, what’s with the bucket?” queried Ada as Sexy Jola rushed into the room and asked that I quickly close the door behind her.

    “What happened, Sexy Jola? What is pursuing you? Who are you running from? came the myriad of questions from across the room.

    “It’s your children o. Na hide I hide come here o. Their wahala too much! Those children want to kill me with their demands. Ever since their schools went on midterm break, they’ve not stopped making all kinds of funny demands. Mummy, I want this… Mummy, I want that…” she said and drew a chair from the dinning and dropped the bucket under the table.

    “You too?” voiced Tinu. “I also ran here to escape my kids, too. I wonder why the school system created midterm breaks sef. And that is why I appreciate our teachers, like our Mummy Fawaz. Teacher welfare packages shouldn’t be debatable Them dey try o, handling so many children at the same time. Our children do not even understand that times are hard.”

    “We just have to tell them the hard truth about life. They need to know money does not grow on trees. How long would one keep hiding like this anytime they are on holiday?” Ada advised.

    “Hmmm, is that so? So why are you here, you think we don’t know you came to escape Onyin your last baby,” Christabel the Fashionista teased.

    Read Also: Gorimakpa to premiere Over Do video on November 24

    “That girl is a terrorist, I tell you,” Ada laughed and added “and in fact she seems to have my Mumu button. I don’t know how to say no to her – and after what my husband and I went through during her pregnancy, I promised myself I won’t let her lack anything by God’s grace. But she rarely eats. That is my problem. That is why I’m always happy to oblige her whenever wants a snack or two, I indulge her, since I’ve trained her to snack on fruits and healthy beverages, like smoothies. But it is her wanting to be all over me all the time or expecting me to play with her that tires me out. Her energy level is off the chart.”

     “Speaking of smoothies, Tamara, where is the yogurt you went to bring,” Tinu called to our friend who had been busying herself away in her kitchen since the conversation about Jolaolu and children began.

     “I’m coming. Just give me a minute,” she yelled and walked in with a bucket of yogurt in one hand and some small bowls in the other.

     “Woah, this is interesting,” I said and reached out to help her with them. Just then, Jola reached under the table, pulled out her bucket and drew out a locked plastic bag full of walnuts. “It’s as if I read your mind. The combination would be awesome,” she said.

    “But seriously, ladies! You girls are lucky. I wish my boys were only just making demands of snacks and toys. My boys are terrorists…area scatter is what they are. I have stopped engaging the service of house helps after all the news about domestic helps and their excesses. And although I’ve taught them how to clean up after themselves, it’s their rough play that kills me,” complained Christabel.

    “Shebi it’s just for a few days, Their wahala cannot kill us, na. Make we bear with them for a few days more. But we must take care of our mental health and not allow them, our husbands or Nigeria palava to weigh down on us o,” counseled Tamara.

     “Yes o. And that is why I left them with their dad. Make him sef see wetin I dey face,” Jola chuckled.

     “Man no die…man no rotten…no be we kill anybody. Ladies, oya e don ready o. make we use am step down. You’d like the combo…,” Tamara invited and we all grabbed a bowl each and continued the gist, that tired November morning.

  • Fruits for glowing skin

    Fruits for glowing skin

    Maintaining healthy skin is not an easy task. No matter how many products you use, your skin will glow only if you are healthy from within. That’s why getting the right amount of nutrients through your food is a must.

    An abundant source of nutrients and essential vitamins is fruits. Vitamin C enriched fruits are great for reducing acne marks and skin brightening. Fruits with B vitamins are great for improving your overall skin health. According to our chief dermatologist, Dr. Harish Koutam, “Fruits are rich in antioxidants that prevent oxidative damage. Foods rich in vitamin A can help in reducing acne. Pineapple and cucumbers are great for solving acne issues.”

    What Fruits Do You Need To Add To Your Regular Diet?

    1. Oranges

    Daily Vitamin C intake is mandatory for radiant skin. The natural oils present in oranges keep your skin hydrated, making it look plump.

    Vitamin C is known to aid in collagen production, which keeps your skin firm and reduces the appearance of signs of aging (1) (2). High in vitamin C and antioxidants, oranges help fight free radicals in the body, minimizing DNA damage. This slows down premature aging.

    How To Use

    A. In Your Diet

    Eat half an orange everyday.

    You could even consume freshly squeezed orange juice. Avoid the pulp if you have ulcers in your stomach, Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) or Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD).

    You could make a tasty orange smoothie or add it to your salads.

    B. For Pigmentation

    Apply plain, freshly squeezed orange juice to your pigmentation spots.

    C. For Oily Skin

    Mix 3 tablespoons of orange juice with 1 teaspoon of lemon juice. Add a pinch of turmeric to the mixture along with 2 tablespoons of gram flour. Apply it as a pack and leave until dry (around 15 minutes). Rinse off thoroughly with lukewarm or cold water.

    D. For Dry Skin

    Mix 3 tablespoons of orange juice with a teaspoon of lemon juice. Add half a teaspoon of milk to the mixture along with a pinch of turmeric and one teaspoon of honey. Apply it to your skin and leave it on for 10 -15 minutes.

    Read Also: Secrets for glowing skin

    2. Papaya

    Carica papaya or simply ‘papaya’ as most of us call it, is a naturally moisturizing agent that helps keep your skin hydrated and soft when used topically.

    Rich in Vitamin A, C and B, this fruit can prove to be effective in maintaining good skin health. Papaya can also improve your digestive system and prevent constipation. This, in turn, aids in clearing up your skin. Studies suggest that this fruit can also speed-up the wound healing process (3).

    How To Use

    A. In Your Diet

    Eat a bowl of papaya in the morning as part of your breakfast.

    Papaya smoothies are also a good option. Blending the fruit with some lemon juice will make for a tasty drink.

    B. For Smooth Skin

    Mash some papaya pieces in a bowl and apply them onto your skin. Leave it on for 10 minutes.

    C. To Reduce Pigmentation

    Mash a few pieces of papaya and mix with lemon juice. Add a pinch of turmeric. Apply to the affected area and wash off after 10 minutes.

    D. To Moisturize Dry Parts Of Your Skin

    Mix mashed papaya with half a teaspoon of almond oil and apply to the affected area. Wash off after 10 minutes.

    E. Papaya Scrub

    Mix mashed papaya with 1 teaspoon of an orange peel. Add a tablespoon of rosewater to the mixture if you have oily skin. If your skin is dry, you can use honey.

    3. Lemon

    Lemon for glowing skin

    Lemon is popularly used in a number of skincare products. From anti-acne creams to anti-aging lotions, this citrus fruit can prevent a host of skin issues.

    Rich in Vitamin C, lemon can help reduce signs of aging, hyperpigmentation and scarring (4). Lemon is also a natural bleaching agent. It helps reduce sun damage and tan. Addressing a host of skin issues, this ingredient should be made a mandatory part of your skincare regimen.

    How To Use

    A. In Your Diet

    Lemon juice water with a teaspoon of honey added to it should be the first thing you drink in the morning.

    You can add lemon juice to your salad and even your curries while you consume them.

    B. For Tan

    Add freshly squeezed lemon juice to a teaspoon of sugar and mix the two. Rub it onto the affected areas and leave it on for 10 minutes. Wash off with cold water.

    Note:

    Make sure you do not scrub your skin too hard to prevent it from getting dry.

    C. For Puffy Eyes And Dark Circles

    Mix one teaspoon of lemon with one teaspoon of milk. Gently apply to your undereyes. Make sure you do not allow the ingredients to enter your eyes to prevent burning. Leave on for 10 minutes and rinse off with cold water.

    D. For Pigmentation Spots

    If you have oily skin, applying lemon juice alone to your affected areas is recommended. However, if your skin is dry, mix a few drops of lemon juice with some coconut oil.

    E. For Acne Scars

    Mix lemon juice with rose water and dab it gently on your skin using a cotton ball. Rinse off after 10 minutes.

    4. Watermelon

    Watermelon for healthy skin

    The name itself sounds so refreshing. Watermelon is rich in fibres and of course, water. It contains 92 percent water, which means hydrated, soft and supple skin. This red ball of refreshment, quite literally, contains Vitamin C, A, B1, B6 and Lycopene that are essential in improving overall skin health and texture.

    Vitamin C helps reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles. Vitamin A and B contributes to maintaining an even skin texture. Lycopene acts as a free radical scavenger, preventing tissue damage in your skin (5).

    Free radicals are responsible for increased skin inflammation that promotes a number of skin issues. The best part – watermelons contain no fat and are cholesterol-free (6).

    How To Use

    A. In Your Diet

    Have watermelon juice in the morning or instead of your evening snack.

    Add freshly cut watermelon to your salads and smoothies.

    B. For Oily Skin

    Mix 3 tablespoons of watermelon juice, 1 tablespoon of lemon juice and 1 tablespoon of fuller’s earth. You could even add a teaspoon of rose water if you wish. Apply the mixture to your skin. Leave it on for 15 minutes (till it dries) and rinse off with cold water.

    C. For Dry Skin

    Mix 3 tablespoons of watermelon juice with 1 tablespoon of lemon juice. Add 1 teaspoon of honey and aloe vera gel each. Apply it to your skin and rinse off after 10-15 minutes.

    ·               Culled from https://skinkraft.com/blogs/articles/fruits-to-eat-for-glowing-skin

  • I love colours reflecting Africa’s uniqueness

    I love colours reflecting Africa’s uniqueness

    Amid growing concerns for the environment, Prof. Khadijah Iyabo Tijani is an artist that advocates environmental sustainability  through recycling of fabrics. Tijani, who is the publisher of the Art and Artists Magazine, lectures at the Department of Fine Art, Faculty of Environmental Design, Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria. In this interview with Evelyn Osagie, she speaks of her passions and more.

    Being a woman

    Being a woman has never been more than an identity to me because, I was brought up in the era of what a man can do, a woman should do, too. This ideology must have been my mum’s because she rose through the ashes of the ideology that a woman must remain at home so it made her insist that my sister and I must maintain a job at all cost. My mum kept this maxim and she drummed it into our ears at every opportunity that much as one must keep a family, one should also keep a job. Being a woman is a lot of job if you don’t want to be a trophy wife as my children says in their modern parlance. You have to be a home maker, and also be career minded. For me, I got a good support from my family to carry on and that gave me a good cushion.

     Growing up for me that impacted the woman I became

    I grew up in Kaduna. I went to both primary, secondary there, and then university in Zaria. I was brought up under very strict observation of my parents. My dad of blessed memory was a civil servant. My mum, though trained as a nurse was a stay at home wife. She was and still is a very stern person who believes so much in being upright and doing the right thing always. This impacted my life so much to the point of me going into teaching. I have taught all my life.

     Lecturing or art?, which came first

    I grew up as someone that always engages in the arts. So I could say I was an artist before I became a teacher. I have been teaching for so many years. I am closer to retirement than I am to where I started from.

    My inspiration as an artist

    As an artist I see art in everything and everywhere I look. I am never short of inspiration to create art.

     My journey into the world of Art

    It has been exciting. My best memories come from time spent in the art room of my Alma matta as a student, among friends that one trusted whole hearted. I’ve been asked how lucrative is it being an artist and a lecturer? To this, I say any job that comes from ones passion may not necessarily be lucrative but we do get by. You get a lot of job satisfaction and in time you learn and know the business side of your trade and it helps. In short, time is the greatest teacher.

     My advocacy on waste management and recycling of fabric

    The whole idea of the depletion of the ozone layer is to be curbed by serious reduction in human waste. And women should be at the forefront of it, particularly because we are homemakers. Every item used that can be reused should be encouraged, including fabrics. And non-biodegradable materials should be discouraged as much as possible. The Ankara fabric is made from cotton as such it will easily dissolved if left for some time and rather than allow it to litter it can be converted into art for hanging on the wall.

     Why Fela Kuti caught my attention as an artist

    I am not really a fan of Fela’s life style but he was an activist and music was his means of speaking directly to society. His full name was Olufela Olusegun Oludotun Ransome-Kuti. He was also called Fela Anikulapo-Kuti. He was born on 15th October, 1938 at Abeokuta in Nigeria; he died on the 2nd August, 1997, in Lagos Nigeria. I was attracted by his music and activism that led him to launch a modern style music called Afro-beat, which fused American blues, jazz, and funk with traditional Yoruba music. Kuti was highly engaged in political activism in Africa from the 1970s until his death. He criticised the corruption of Nigerian government officials and the mistreatment of Nigerian citizens. I find it He spoke of colonialism as the root of the socio-economic and political problems that plagued the African people.

    Read Also: CBN: New, old naira notes remain legal tender indefinitely

    SDG, Art Pedagogy and its adaptation system in Nigeria

    Nigerians are kind-hearted people and I believe if only our decision makers will pay a visit to their own old schools and see what is obtainable there, it will help convince them that we have indeed reached that stage where we change or perish. In my opinion, no child should be left behind.

    Nigeria is only one of the member nations of the United Nations that agreed to adopt the 17 Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) stemming from the 8 Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) that ended in 2015. It all has to do with the sincerity of government and the driving force which requires nothing but the belief in the country Nigeria.

      Events that led me into publishing

    Publishing is part of what you learn as a graphic artist as such I also became a lecturer of the same course while in the polytechnic. After many years of teaching it, I decided to practice what I preached. I succeeded in seeking out the news and all other aspects except the marketing and getting sponsorship that eluded me. I was expecting merit to sell itself but the usual Nigerian factor killed it. I found that publication is another aspect that I could succeed at. It is actually inborn.

    I enjoy doing the magazine job except that it was not financially rewarding. Sometimes I am the journalist, the editor, the photographer and it sometimes gets overwhelming when there is no support coming from anywhere. Many people enjoy a good tabloid but are not willing to put their money where their mouth is? They are not, so it is a lonely road and you the publisher is the only one seeing the road.

     Marrying both careers, along with family life

    It is not easy to combine the home front and the job. Family means a lot to me as such I have ensured that I combine the task of raising a family with all I done in the area of job. It requires a lot of coordination. Everyone in your life has their own demands even friends sometimes can be a pain in the neck, excuse my French. But we’ve got by and we thank God. The point is not to misplace your priorities. Sometimes you have to say ‘No’ even if it means losing some friends because everything has a price. You just need to remain focus and keep going. To the glory of God, I am married to the love of my life, who is an accountant by profession. He is running his own personal business and we have two of our children following in his field of accounting, both them are chartered and working in different parts of the world.

     My thought on beauty

    As an artist beauty is difficult to define because what is beautiful to me may not be beautiful to you, like the popular adage: ‘beauty is in the eyes of the beholder’.

    However, beauty can be used to refer to the quality of being attractive, especially to look at i.e. natural beauty. I personally believe that beauty comes from within though with the advent of makeup sometimes you need a second look to know if what you behold is the truth. As the saying goes that a thing of beauty is a joy forever.

     My fashion style

    My fashion sense used to be quite high in the past. Becoming an academician is very demanding as such comfort became my watch word. I love to dress daintily so long as I am comfortable in what I’m wearing. I love subtle colours reflecting the African in me wherever I go.

     Fashion item I can’t do without

    I like to be modest in my dressing, so long as I’m covered. And I love perfume. I wouldn’t want to do without my perfume ‘Beautiful’ by Estee Lauder (laughs.)

     My escape place

    Some of art works are done for relaxation. I love to watch a good movie too because it teaches one life’s lessons and about other people’s culture.

  • How to use perfume properly

    How to use perfume properly

    Perfume is a unique form of artistry and craftsmanship that has been around for centuries. It is composed of a blend of scented oils and aromatic compounds, which are carefully combined with alcohol to create an enchanting scent.

    Perfumes give a luxurious feel perfect for colder weather and special occasions like a night out, a conference, or a date. 

    They have higher concentrations of fragrance than body mists, which makes their scent more intense and long-lasting. They also contain lesser amounts of water and more alcohol than body mists.  

    They come in various forms, such as eau de cologne (EDC), eau de toilette (EDT), eau de parfum (EDP), and perfume extract (parfum). EDCs have the least amount of fragrance concentration (2-5%); EDTs follow with 5-15%, while EDPs have more fragrances with 15-20%. Parfums usually contain the highest concentration (15-40%), making them last longer on the skin.

    Pro tip: Usually, the higher the fragrance concentration of a perfume, the pricier the bottle.

    How to use perfume properly

    You can’t go wrong with perfume – keep in mind a few tips and tricks for better results:

    Choose the right spot to apply your perfume – wrists, neck, or behind the ears. These warm spots have a higher temperature that defuses the smell.

    Read Also: Blue Economy to net $20b yearly, says Oyetola

    Make sure your skin is clean and dry before spraying.

    Hold the bottle about 6-8 inches away and give a light spritz.

    Remember, a little goes a long way! Please don’t overdo it by applying too much perfume, as it can be overpowering.

    Allow the fragrance to settle and develop on your skin, which may take a few minutes. Avoid rubbing your wrists together after applying perfume, as it can alter the scent.

    Also, be mindful of the occasion and setting – a subtle fragrance is ideal for work or close quarters.

    Store  in a cool, dry place to prolong the life of your favorite scent.

  • Pepper soup moves to women’s court

    Pepper soup moves to women’s court

    You can call it Pepper soup moves…the day Nurse Ejiro was summoned to the court of Women’s Corner. It came like point and kill cat fish pepper soup served with  drink on a cold morning. But believe you me, it was not Ejiro and her bizarre drug prescription that was on my mind that morning.

    I was home minding my business, beating myself for waking up too late to get freshly butchered meat at the Abattoir in our area. “What can I do now?” I was racking my brain on how fast to get there before they finish selling the fresh meats when a knock on the door whack me out of my thought.

    “Good morning Eve! Are you still sleeping…” asked Tamara, banging on my door. It was just 9am and the meeting was not supposed to be until 10. “What does she want now…?” I murmured silently as I reach for the door knob. “Take it easy na…I thought we still have one hour…”

    “Yes, but aren’t you checking our WhatsApp group. It was decided this morning that we hold it earlier so we can finish before noon when the sun gets really hot. Anyway come quickly they are already sharing pepper soup. Else we’ll finish it before you arrive,” she teased and left.

    “I join you shortly,” and on that note I dashed out to meet the pack. I saw we have a full house and the interrogation has already begun. Ejiro was standing as Ada and Christabel the Fashionista took their spots as judges. While Sexy Jola and Mummy Fawaz were serving the plate of soups, Tinu and others were already savoring the banquet before them. Without asking who the pepper soup treat was from, I rushed to sit down, grabbed myself a plate as I heard Ejiro say, “…but it’s not what you think o…it’s not what you think. Ladies, please… I can explain…

    “Do you know what you’ve done is an offence that is punishable by law?” Ada cut her short.

    Then Christabel, the vice chair of our estate executives, followed with “Ejiro, how could you… No…No…we are disappointed in you… I’m going to take it in our exco meeting…”

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    “Please, if you would just let me explain…it’s all a misunderstanding… you can ask Angela, it has been resolved. She has apologised for maligning my person in my absence but I insisted that she comes before you to apologise openly. And that was why she decided to treat us with this pepper soup delicacy.” Ejiro words were followed was by a pin-drop silence under the Ebelebo tree. We could almost hear each other’s heart racing. All of a sudden, the delicious dish hung over us like a noose and the fishbone I was cracking tasted blank. “Jola, Mummy Fawaz, is it true,” asked Ada.

    “Well, yes. But when Angela dropped the cooler with me she only said all was now well, that her hubby was okay and performing his duties better. So I figured this is to celebrate the fact,” answered Mummy Fawaz, just as Angela walked in, apologised and explained that Ejiro was not to be blamed, that her hubby’s health crisis was caused by one of those opaeyin – those herbal male virility drinks – he took.

    “So what drug did you give him,” questioned Tamara, turning our attention back to Ejiro.

    “I found his problem was psychological, and first advised them to change location. And to be candid, all I gave him was just flaggy in capsules form and Vitamin C,” mocked Ejiro, who could no longer control her laughter. Angela joined in the laughter, and we laughed too and returned to our plate of fish pepper soup.

  • Moving in the wrong direction

    Moving in the wrong direction

    The distinctive feature of intimacy is mutual responsiveness, that reassuring sense that lovebirds really ‘get’ each other. This means that you come to your interactions with a well-developed understanding of each other’s inner workings and use that privileged knowledge thoughtfully, for each other’s benefit. It is that safe and comforting feeling you get basking in the knowledge that this other person truly understands and appreciates you.

    Ironically for many, things fell apart when they thought they had conquered all. This experience compares to what happened the Patrica recently. It started like the usual boy meets girl story and she wasn’t really satisfied with her Romeo’s status. He didn’t have much, but she decided to give him a chance because she was a fan of not all that glitter’s phrase. To make it work, she gave him all the love, support, and attention required for a ‘learner’ on the emotional wheels. In a short while they made it to the top and became the toast of the town.

    Three and half decades down the line, the union produced six wonderful children and everyone thought our dear Patricia had solved all the mathematical equations in the emotional terrain. Suddenly, the emotional pendulum shifted backward and a new beauty about the same age as their first son stole the heart of the beau in question. Just like that? Well, you can’t afford to be careless along this corridor. On his part, Romeo claimed that he had been hoodwinked all this while by an emotional witch (his wife).

    Anyway, now that we have found love, what are we gonna do with it?  Patricia accepted this as her lot and moved into an emotional coma. On his part, the excited Romeo was in the clouds and he just did not want distractions. First, he gave her a quit notice and when she refused to comply, he beat her to pulps, removing a tooth in the process. When the children from the union got wind of the happening, things fell apart.

    All hell was let loose, they moved to the family house, beat up the princess who was distracting their father, and built a new apartment for Patricia in the same compound. Love or no love, they transformed her world, bought a car, and had a steward and driver on standby. Remorseful, Romeo apologized and they reverted back to the emotional status quo.

    That old man was simply going against the emotional traffic. He broke all the rules, damaged a reliable car (heart), and had to pay the penalty. Luckily, he realised his mistakes before it was too late and went back to the right way using the reverse gear.

    He was driving his emotional vehicle in the wrong direction. The big question here would be why would someone want to go against the traffic? Interestingly, people do this for so many reasons. The first is to get to the desired destination (new heart) on time because the normal direction(old heart) has some traffic and you just do not want to be part of the stress.

    On the emotional corridor, this amounts to cheating and breaking the rules of consistency. A cheating heart can be compared with a reckless driver, moving around in the wrong direction and crashing (breaking) hearts in the process. It is worse when the heart knows that the game is up and the next option would be to speed faster on the wrong lane crashing more hearts in the process. Sanity comes in when the law finally catches up with this reckless heart.

    People can also drive in the wrong direction because they missed an exit (confusion), for thrill-seeking(distraction), as a suicide attempt(end of the road), or as a shortcut(the restless). Emotional penalties at this juncture can include a fight, break-up, or a combination of all of these.

    Sometimes, it may be a mistake and not a deliberate action. For example, this happens when the driver is from a right-hand traffic country and is unaccustomed to driving in a left-hand traffic country, and vice versa. It is therefore important to understand the routes and be in charge of the wheels.

    While driving on the road, you also need to factor the interest of other people into whatever you do. It is therefore imperative to behave yourself and not be a reckless driver on the physical or emotional terrain. Of course, we all know that it can be tiring sitting in traffic, sweating, hooting, and shouting at those who want to cut corners but somehow you would have satisfied your conscience that you did what was right. Life simply must go on and it is not every time that the traffic is smooth. At such point, our responsibility is to comply, manage traffic, and manage congestion.

    When breaking the rules of emotional traffic, there should be zero tolerance for lawlessness. Why not! If there is zero tolerance for breach of our traffic rules and regulations because of the consequence, then the same should apply to emotional traffic. Sadly like the traffic, a lot of people like to find their way out of emotional ‘congestion’ without giving a hoot about the consequences.

  • Girls… Don’tlet the devilstop you!

    Girls… Don’tlet the devilstop you!

    Dear Mummy Temilolu,

    I am always blessed by your teachings. I pray to meet you one day soonest! I wanted to do something that I know is not right and i suddenly bumped into your article and started following you immediately and my mentality changed! Please don’t stop writing! I love you ma!

    –Imala Faith

    Dear Mummy,

    It is indeed a great privileged and a great Joy in my heart knowing you. I really appreciate you. I pray that in Jesus name God have answered all that your heart desires Amen. I celebrate you always. Thanks for being a source of blessing and making immeasurable impact. Even when I want to misbehave at times as per flesh, and I think of all your teachings  I retrace my steps. I am 25 years old now and I pray God strengthens me to share my testimony someday. Thanks so much Mummy, my spirit continuously prays for you. Please don’t stop writing.

    –Omowunmi Isamotu

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    How has your 2023 been? Mine was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (laughs) that means extraordinarily good; wonderful! I tell you a lot of people didn’t have a good year and never got their blessings because they were engaged in sexual immorality. Please TAKE THIS OR LEAVE IT! I may not be your G.O. but when i tell you sexual immorality does you more harm than good- I know what I’m talking about! I thought to share this with you to help you in your journey next year!

    REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD ABSTAIN FROM SEX TILL MARRIAGE AND MAKE THE MOST OF 2023 WITH YOUR SPIRITUALITY

    1. For Spiritual Intelligence

    There are so many with great destinies who will never manifest that which God has planned for them except they hear exclusively from God and regularly take instructions from him! DO YOU KNOW THE TYPE OF STAR YOU CARRY? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT WILL TAKE TO MANIFEST? No wonder the scripture says, “The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him, And He will show then His covenant.”Psalm 25:14 You need to have a Joseph’s dream divine ideas, information and revelations from God that will make you vigorously pursue that which God has planned for you per time, shine and stand out in life! May you not wake up very unhappy and tired of life at 55, lonely, unfulfilled, unaccomplished, and dejected only to discover God’s plan for you was to be the most influential black woman, surrounded by a wonderful husband and star children!

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    2. To break evil soul-ties

    Every sexual intercourse bonds you with your partner emotionally and spiritually! In fact, sexual intercourse is a spiritual union! And that’s why the scripture talks about one flesh in marriage.Gen.2:24 GOD DESIGNED SEXUAL INTERCOURSE FOR MARRIAGE!

    My madam, how many destinies/souls do you want to be attached to in a life-time? Have you wondered why you can’t seem to get over one boyfriend or the other after all they did to hurt you? Have you ever wondered why you keep seeing them in your dreams? Have you ever wondered how one lousy ex-lover has a way of getting you to sleep with him after you stopped dating? When I tell you chastity saves you so much head-ache, I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! When you should be charting your path to becoming a phenomenal success, you’ll be brooding and crying over a past lover and wishing you could see him again and feel his touch. In my opinion, the devil has taken over the life of any teenager or unmarried young lady who feels this way! Worse still you even take on their negative traits!

    A piece of your sex partner (the good, bad and ugly) stays with you and vice versa for the rest of your life. You can only imagine what it looks like when you bond with multiple partners! So many have married wrongly because after they had sex, they just couldn’t imagine life without their partner and went ahead to get married even with danger warning signals!

    The first step to breaking evil soul ties is to COMPLETELY ABSTAIN from sex and let the fire of God purge you! May God help you!

    3. For speed

    How can you load your life with diverse strange spirits from multiple sex partners and think all will be well with you? Do you know those strange spirits- ill-luck, curses, stagnation etc. transferred to your life from multiple sex partners form evil baggage which weigh down your destiny and delay you in the valley of life? YOU NEED TO ABSTAIN AND GET RID OF THEM FAST!!!

    To be continued.

    • I invite you to follow me on Facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO Instagram @Okeowotemilolu
  • Hot gist November

    Hot gist November

    Hello my Sisters! It’s not too late to say ‘Happy Month!’ This month will be good for all of us o!” Sexy Jola hailed the pack as she walked in on the conversation of Tamara, Tinu, Barrister Ada and Mummy Fawaz, who were standing close to the empty seats in our usual spot. Something told me to be wary of her excitement as I joined the group that evening.

    “This one wey your eyes dey twinkle, e be like say gist dey,” observed Ada.

    “Jolaolu no dey hail person for nothing! Oya, Jola wetin dey?” queried Tamara.

    “Siddon, I get hot gist!” They all sat down and drew their seats close, expectantly. I sat down too but was unperturbed by her excitement. I knew what was coming. But Jola chose to not understand the sign I made, warning her to leave me out of her ‘gist’. You see, we had both witnessed something awkward last night, which was the 1st of November and I didn’t want to discuss it. I feel it’s a private matter and had warned Jola not to raise it in the group.

    “If October ended with a surprise, then November broke with a juicy twist. Remember Angela,” began our ardent storyteller, Jola.

    “Which Angela,” asked a very attentive Mummy Fawaz.

    “Angela the Giant, who used to beat up her husband, that Angela who used to live beside Mummy Judith.”

    “What happened to her? Come to think of it, we’ve not heard anything from them since they moved house,” Tamara noted.

    Perhaps to catch everyone’s attention, our storyteller Jola stood up while gesticulating with her hands as she repainted the night’s scene. “That is actually the gist. So, we (Evelyn and I) were returning from a long stroll around the area that night when we stumbled upon Angela outside our estate by Mummy Yinusa’s shed. I said ‘stumbled, because we even didn’t know anyone was there. Abi Evelyn?” Jola turned and asked me just while I was planning to sneak out into the moonless night.

    “Mmmm,” I nodded angrily in affirmation.

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    “She was even the one that called out to us,” continued Jola. “I was worried because it was close to 10 and she said she has been waiting for an hour to see Nurse Ejiro, because it was urgent – that she had been calling her, but she was not picking. And when we asked her what the problem was, she said ‘Ejiro has killed me!’ and when we asked her how, she told us that she and her husband were always fighting over his conjugal duties and things had got worse when they got to their new home and she didn’t want to continue the constant fight. She met and complained the day before, to Ejiro, who gave her a drug to give to her hubby. And since then she has been running away from home.” Jolaolu’s story threw the group into laughter that was followed by the shouts of; “It’s a lie”, “That is serious”, “I can’t believe it”, “So what now happened”, “Did you see Ejiro.

    “Ejiro had gone for her nightshift and Angela said she cannot return home because she could no longer stand the strength of husband whom she used to beat while she was here,” Jola laughed and continued, “She ended up sleeping in my place and I and my husband accompanied her home with a doctor friend only to find that the husband had been rushed to the clinic the night before.”

    “Ejiro should be arrested! What kind of drug was that?” Barrister Ada asked. 

    “The lesson for us is ‘be careful what you ask for, you just might have in excess’. But I think I need that drug sha,” Tamara laughed.  “God forbid bad thing. But Jola, you sef, you sabi gist.” We all laughed, point taken, and then we shifted the conversation to other matters.