Category: New Woman

  • Delayed  Gratification

    Delayed Gratification

    IN the first instance, gratification means pleasure, especially when gained from the satisfaction of a desire. It also means satisfaction, fulfillment, and relief.

    Delayed gratification, or deferred gratification, is the ability to resist the temptation for an immediate reward and wait for a later reward. Generally, delayed gratification is associated with resisting a smaller but more immediate reward in order to receive a larger or more enduring reward later. A person’s ability to delay gratification relates to other similar skills such as patience, impulse control, self-control and willpower, all of which are involved in self-regulation. I imagine a parent reading this wondering if it’s possible for today’s youth to practice self-regulation. Well, no matter how bad the situation is, especially with the get-rich-quick syndrome without sweating for it the right way, a good number of youth who are destined for unusual greatness are aware that the very best of things still come to those who wait. Next week, God willing, I’ll be discussing this topic and from experience give you its advantages and how it can bring you far better than what you wanted.

    I am so glad A.U. was wise enough to rebuff the amorous advances of her so-called helper whose type litter all higher institutions waiting for gullible or better put, loose girls. Any girl who engages in sex with a man to gain an admission into the higher institution would certainly do same with her lecturers, her future employers and every man she needs a favour from. What you believe in your youth imprints on your soul and carries you through life – all the way; except by some divine intervention and that is if some major damage hasn’t occurred in your life’s trajectory. Also, whether anyone believes or not, your first sexual intercourse and every other carry heavy spiritual significance. If you get involved with the wrong person, your life may go down-hill and that is why at Girls Club we preach chastity. Girls, beware, be wise!

  • Home business  is good  business

    Home business is good business

    Coping with work and family can be stressful. It takes proper planning, having a focus and an understanding spouse to survive, writes Yetunde Oladeinde.

    WANTED husband! Is there a criterion required? Yes, he must have the Wisdom of Solomon, the patience of Job and the courage of David. That’s the advertisement most women would run if they wanted to find the ideal husband. After having the experience for about a year or two, it also helps if the man has Jonah’s ability to come up smiling no matter what.

    There is certainly no business like home business. Washing, cooking, pounding, cleaning, trading, fetching water, supporting the husband, taking care of the children and office are some of the departments every wife takes care of on a daily basis.

    Housework, for many, is serious business. It actually takes the woman round the clock. That probably explains why some feminists argue that they should be paid. If you do not believe this, then let’s take a trip to a typical day in a woman’s life.

    Kunmbi stretches on her bed. She is still feeling sleeping but has just been woken by the alarm clock placed directly above her head. Time is about 6 am. For the mother of five, this is when a typical day begins except on Sundays when she has the luxury of an extra hour.

    Tired but determined, the forty-two-year-old woman gets up slowly from the bed so as not to awaken her husband, Gbolahan, who is still snoring. “Most times I guess he did not hear the alarm ring or he probably did not hear the alarm go off. Even if he did, it was none of his business as it was not yet time for him to wake up,” she says.

    As a dedicated wife, alive to her duties, she has to prepare the breakfast for her family before going to work. “There are days when I turn the water faucet and I would discover that there is no water. At such moments I would have to rush downstairs to fetch some buckets for the kitchen and the bathroom.”

    Apart from handling daily chores, it is also important for women to monitor the growth and development of their children, especially the girl child. “It is sad that a number of mothers abandon this duty to nannies and house helps. The result is that the children are exposed to wrong hands who exploit such lapses,” says Maltida Ibekwe, a social worker.

    Ibekwe adds: “Some of us are lucky because we are married to men who are caring and understanding. This makes it easy but if you are unlucky to live with a difficult spouse, it would be difficult to make both work together simultaneously. In this kind of situation, the woman would have to choose one and she would not be happy in the process.”

    She goes on to talk about some of the things young people are exposed to at puberty and the need for mothers to be watchful at this stage.

    “It is a stage when the young ones want to be adventurous. It is therefore normal to feel curious, anxious and ashamed especially if you are the only girl in the house. I also have a case of someone who was happy because she was going to wear a bra. Others are ashamed and they wear double vest to cover the bump. Some of the changes include menstruation, pubic hair, pimples, growing by the hips, nipples and other internal organs. Mood swings also occur and the sex hormones are responsible for sexually maturity.”

    On her part, Folashade Ajayi talks about the different ways in which the predator can abuse the girl-child. “Here, the young ones need information to guide them from irresponsible people who would want to take advantage of them. The important thing is that every child has a right to know about sex education. The body is divided into two parts (private and public).”

    Ajayi adds that “Everyone can have access to the public part but the private parts, as the word implies, are those extrinsic parts and they should not be touched. It is important to raise an alarm or say you just brushed me now. Is it a mistake? Most times, it isn’t. Sexual abuse comes in different ways.”

    She goes on to use a personal example to buttress her point. “Imagine a designer wants to take your measurement with the tape rule and it comes across the nipple. Another example is that sometimes, the person can come and show you sexual scenes from a magazine. I had a similar experience when I was in school. For about a week the guy kept telling us about a special book that he was going to bring. He finally brought it on a Friday and he gathered only the girls, five of us. When he opened it, we saw naked bodies and we were all screaming and ran away. Much later he came back and I threatened to report him. Before I knew it, he was already sleeping with those girls.”

    In spite of the many odds, women are happy each time to reflect on the memorable moments no matter how small or insignificant it is. “I would say that the happy moments count for a lot of women and that is why they prefer to work hard and dwell on this. A woman is also eager to deprive herself of so many things just to change the life of the family positively,” says 52-year-old Ndidi Maxwell who has been married for about thirty years.

    To have a wonderful experience at the home front, communication is also very vital. “When I got married about eight years ago, the first few months were a nightmare. We fought almost every day and I had a number of scars that made me think of opting out. Unlike the days when we were courting, things were different and we were parallel lines. After a while I realised that what was missing was communication and once we made use of this everything changed positively,” Maxwell reminisces.

  • Idorenyin hooks Gabriel

    Idorenyin hooks Gabriel

    CHAIRMAN of Independent Corrupt Practices and other related Offences Commission (ICPC), Mr. Ekpo Nta, last Saturday gave out his daughter Idorenyin at a holy matrimony at St Bernard’s Catholic Church Marian Hill, Calabar to Elo Gabriel Itoye. Here Barrister Ekpo Nta and his wife Eno flank the couple at the reception.

  • Your mentality and  your destiny (II)

    Your mentality and your destiny (II)

    HELLO wonderful people, as usual it’s nice to be in touch with you again. This topic is one which could go on for many weeks because of the present orientation of the Nigerian girl, however, I would have to compress it and conclude it today. I trust you’d share it with every girl around you including your domestic help who cannot afford to go to school and has to earn an income not for herself but her parents and may never live a good life. Who knows? This may change her life forever if you can be kind enough to explain to her in the language she understands.

    A lot of girls have the potentials and capability to not only become an institution but to build an entire nation. In the first instance, we all have some goodness which encompasses potentials, talents and every good quality that can make us productive and stand us out. However, these days, it is never even discovered and virtually wasted because an average girl has grown to believe the only way to achieve anything that’s worthwhile is to “give out her body to men.” I can’t help but wonder if it’s because they are ignorant of their capabilities and the fact that they are natural power houses of men or it’s because they are lazy and would rather have beauty than brains because they know an average man can see better than he can think. Whatever the case may be, there are chances that these girls may never fulfill their destiny. This is because the more a girl relies on sleeping with men for favours which include material things, good grades etc., the weaker her productivity. The less her chances of being the first class individual she was created to be; the professor, the scientist, the academician, the entrepreneur, the unique and resourceful civil servant who would turn things around, the politician who would change the world…I could go on and on. Is she even interested in being anything serious?

    Today’s youth seem to have a desultory approach to life; they have no definite plans and just move with the tide. They are so lazy; they don’t like to study. Yet, they want to make money so quickly and use gadgets their parents cannot afford and wear the latest designer clothing. Now, if she can’t harness her potentials at a young age, when her brain is vibrant, when would she? The funny thing is that this beauty she concentrates on to endear herself to men will fade some day and even before it does, we know men have a short attention span and there’ll always be a younger and fresher babe on the queue. Now, when she’s no longer as attractive as she used to be, what would she fall back on? What would give her great satisfaction in life? What purpose would she have fulfilled in life at the end of her days?

    My dear girl, though you may have heard that it’s a man’s world, it is not true that you have to sleep with a man to have the good things of life or achieve success in your academics or career. True, what you watch on TV, what you see around you and what you hear your peers and aunties discuss and watch them do convinces you, I strongly advise you shut your eyes and mind to evil. You will never be able to make the most of your colorful destiny if you rely on sex. It is a fact. Even if you are living in abject poverty, there’s no reason for you to turn yourself into a sex slave and sell your body and your spiritual beauty. It renders many useless. Hard work pays and no matter what, it will always be rewarded. Don’t be intimidated by any evil lecturer. If you maintain your stand, even if there’s no one to fight for you, natural justice, equity and good conscience will always be there for you.

    There’s indeed a time for everything. You shouldn’t feel inferior because your parents can’t afford to buy you the type of clothes your friends wear and the phones they carry. Why don’t you practice delayed gratification and discover how that delay will bring about that which you never knew you could possess; how it could someday make you a master over the so-called big-girls looking down on you today? Or you don’t believe that can happen? I’ll give you some gist next week.

    To my sisters in Boko Haram captivity, God who created the whole world will beam His light on you and bring you out unharmed. Amen.

  • Can’t fix what you can’t see

    THE desire to have a compatible partner and live happily together is great. In reality, this appears to be a dream and only a few lucky dreamers, are proud to live this dream. Why should attaining love heights be a mirage for many?

    Success comes when lovebirds are genuine. This is possible with hearts that are ready to produce sincere friendship, friendship that can endure the test of time as well as overcome the odds encountered as the years roll by.

    A genuine heart service therefore comes your way when your partner shows true feelings; and it is expressed in an honest way. Conversely, if you are unlucky to come across a heart that if filled with deceit, hypocrisy then you are in for trouble. No matter how much you try things aren’t going to work because an adulterated heart is going to mess up everything with feigned romance.

    So, the most appropriate thing would be to check with an emotional stethoscope to be sure that the heart that you are in a tango with is not a fictitious heart. The next question you are likely to ask, is how do you verify and sift out a heart hiding behind a plastic smile.

    The crux of the matter is that this is a very hard task and many do not get to know what’s actually happening in the heart of those the treasure until it is almost too late. At that point, the deed (s) would have been done and your input actually does not count. So you either take it or leave it. But if you are sharp enough to detect that Mr. or Mrs. Right is ‘fake’, then you may just be able to make a few changes and be saved from an emotional blast.

    Like every other blast, it knocks you off the emotional lane ; if you are lucky to come back, it may just be with a heart that has been amputated. This kind of heart, will not take you far and if you have to do an emotional marathon with others, you can be sure to come last in the race.

    Tobiloba dated his first girlfriend, for about four years and he was so certain that the relationship would end in marriage. He played his role dutifully and everyone imagined that this was one of those rare experiences, made only in heaven.

    At a point, the groom to- be had drawn up a list of things to do and dreamt of what to expect on the D-day. He also asked the lady who had stolen his heart to bring her list of essentials but to his dismay she started to develop cold romantic feet.

    What could he have done wrong? Was he not meeting with her expectations or was there something distracting her heart from his. Yes, there was a distraction indeed. “For about three months, I tried to find out what was amiss but she just would not open up. The wedding naturally was kept on hold because of the confusion. Then one morning, I got a call from her sister who finally let the ugly cat out of the bag.”

    She told the Romeo that the heart who claimed to be my sweetheart was actually in love with another person. What a blow! Well, there is really nothing new under the sun and so he just had to accept his lot and move on with the remaining pieces. She then went on to apologize on her sister’s behalf saying she realized that what she felt for me was not love and that I was more like a brother to her.’

    It was obviously the end of the road and the important thing was for his heart to make a u-turn, fin a better direction and navigate wisely to avoid another emotional crash. That failed trip took a toll on almost everything he did and about two years after he ran into another lady who caught his emotional fancy.

    Interestingly, Tayo

    Was very shy and reserved when he first ran into her.

    “I thought she was sweet, but in all honesty I didn’t see a second date in our future. She was just too quiet and it seemed like we had almost nothing in common. On our way out of the shopping mall, we stopped by a bookshop and bumped into some of her friends. To my utmost surprise, she loosened up, and that was when I saw a different side to her personality. That part of her which was soft and humorous attracted me to her and that was how it really started”.

    She also like the fact that I liked that Toba was open and there were no pretense. He was genuinely interested and cared about every little detail.

    For six years, Amaka has been lonely and alone. She decided to put all her attention on the job to fill in the vacuum. Her dedication to work paid off and it made her feel a little bit wanted and appreciated. However this did not take away the emotional gaps which had dug a big hole in her heart.

    For some of her friends, the hope that work would open new romantic opportunities was the last resort. Unfortunately, Mr. Right was not along this corridor and she never met men through my job no matter how hard she tried.

    Oh dear! How can our dear friend get out of the emotional woods? This led her into the habit of reigniting old relationships, seeing if she could make them work the second time around.

  • How some  brave women are  battling terrorists

    How some brave women are battling terrorists

    AS Mossarat Qadeem tells the story, the big clue came from a simple source: a young woman who noticed her brother spending time with strangers.

    It was about one year ago in Pakistan’s Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province, formerly called the North-West Frontier province, when the 25-year-old woman noticed a group of men she did not recognize meeting in the evenings in a house on her street. Several young men from her area were attending these meetings, including her 18-year-old brother. Yet her brother wouldn’t tell her what it was all about. His secrecy sparked her suspicion, said Qadeem, founder and executive director of PAIMAN Alumni Trust, an Islamabad-based non-profit that, among other initiatives, works with mothers in some of the country’s most conflict-ridden areas to de-radicalize their sons. Thus far, she said, her organization has turned 455 individuals away from militancy.

    The young woman, a member of a local peace group created by PAIMAN called TOLANA, which means “together” in Pashto, asked her male colleagues to investigate. They went to the meetings themselves and learned that the strangers were trying to lure local boys out of the city and into their radical group. TOLANA members then informed the sister and her parents who took the boy to stay with an aunt who lived elsewhere. Their response prevented him from joining the violent ranks of militants wreaking havoc across Pakistan. All because his sister saw some strangers.

    “So it was like an early warning for the community that something strange is taking place here,” said Qadeem, who calls her organization’s model of countering extremism an indigenous one, rooted in the local culture and religious traditions. “They all gathered because of the warning of just one woman.”

    Qadeem told her story recently while in Washington, D.C. as part of a four-woman delegation from Pakistan here to seek support from U.S. policymakers for their efforts to increase the role of women in initiatives to counter violent extremism. Joining Qadeem were Huma Chughtai, a gender and police reform specialist, Shaista Pervaiz, who represents Punjab province as a member of the ruling Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz in the National Assembly and is the general secretary of the Women’s Parliamentary Caucus, and Nuzhat Sadiq, a senator in the Pakistani parliament who also represents Punjab province as a member of the Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz.

    ‘It makes perfect sense to have more females involved in counter-insurgency, especially when we know that a lot of them are already involved in the insurgency side.’

    The delegates explained that women are critical in fighting extremism precisely because of Pakistan’s conservative social norms and religious customs. These traditions mean that the genders are often segregated and thus women have access to other women in ways that men do not, like being able to enter private homes where females are present. Women are also often the first to see behavioral changes that can be signs of growing militancy in their family members, male and female alike, and women can be particularly effective in building trust between communities and law enforcement.

    Strategically, this focus on women makes perfect sense, said Hedieh Mirahmadi, president of The World Organization for Resource Development and Education and a visiting fellow at The Washington Institute for Near East Policy. Mirahmadi testified before the House Foreign Affairs Committee recently on the topic of women’s role in preventing radicalism.

    “They are the first line of defense,” she said, noting that women can help disengage relatives from violence or, through their influence within the family, thwart their descent into violence in the first place. “Countering violent extremism, we believe, it’s a prevention framework. So it’s not just the capture-or-kill focus of counter-terrorism. It’s supposed to be a prevention model. So they are part of that early prevention process.”

    In conversations with policymakers including Representative Nancy Pelosi of California, the Democratic leader in the House, other members of Congress, and officials from the State Department, the Pentagon, the U.S. Agency for International Development, and the National Security Council, the delegates stressed that they were not asking for money. Rather, they said they wanted to see some of the millions in aid Congress has appropriated for Pakistan allocated specifically to improving women’s roles in the struggle against radicalism. Since 2002, the appropriations have totaled more than $800 million for law enforcement and counter-narcotics alone, according to the Congressional Research Service.

    The delegates focused on expanding U.S. support for grass-roots, female-led initiatives against violent extremism, strengthening women’s inclusion in creating Pakistan’s strategic priorities related to internal security, counter-terrorism and negotiations to end violent extremism, and especially the need to increase the recruitment, retention and professionalization of women in the Pakistani police force. To date, congressional appropriations to Pakistan have not prioritized engaging more women in the police, according to a report by the Institute for Inclusive Security, a D.C-based organization that works to increase the participation of women in peace processes and that hosted the women during their week-long visit.

    “This is a missing link in our set-up,” said Chughtai, as she prepped with her colleagues before their meeting with Representative Pelosi. “We have women in the police force, but the number is very small, the number is less than 1 percent.”

    This oversight is not one Pakistan can afford. Terrorism and insurgency-related violence may have claimed as many as 49,000 lives since 2001, according to Pakistani intelligence reports cited by the Congressional Research Service.

    “Extremism and internal securityit all boils down to the fact that police is the first responder,” said Chughtai during a panel discussion with the other delegates at the Atlantic Council last week. Using her background in Sharia and international human rights law, Chughtai has advised individuals and organizations on national and international human rights and women’s rights conventions, linking those with Islamic tenets. She thus counters arguments that fuel extremism and promotes peace and interfaith harmony.

    Yet without women police officers, female victims of bomb blasts have been left to die because male responders cannot attend to them, thus reducing trust between the community and police. Raids into homes where females are present or searches of women are not possible, and in general, gathering valuable intelligence from women or community members is constrained.

    According to Inclusive Security, citing statistics released by the National Police Bureau of Pakistan in 2011, just over 4,000 of the 453,901 members of the police force were women. Only 85 of them served in higher ranks.

    Still, Moeed Yusuf, director of the South Asia programs at the United States Institute of Peace, said it’s not the number of women in the police force that matters most. It’s putting them in roles where they can be most effective. This, he said, is in building police and community relations.

    “The fundamental thing that you have to do is better law enforcement,” he said, “which, in turn, requires you to have the trust of the society, which means better police-community relations.”

    Yusuf explained that women officers excel in these positions by using their networks among mothers, who he said would not go to male police officers, to build trust and identify young people vulnerable to the lure of violent, intolerant ideologies. Such early identification is key, of course, to preventing the spread of extremism.

    “There is no other more effective way to actually handle this than that,” he said. “And that’s lacking.”

    It is also well known that militant groups already include female members and that other women, especially those left bitter from the loss of a loved one, are vulnerable to recruitment, said Haider Mullick, an adjunct professor at the Naval War College in Newport, Rhode Island.

    “So I think it makes perfect sense to have more females involved in counter-insurgency,” he said, “especially when we know that a lot of them are already involved in the insurgency side.”

    Allison Peters, a policy advisor at Inclusive Security who also leads the organization’s advocacy work on Pakistan and recently spent a week with the women delegates, said there were several reasons why their visit was especially timely. Of particular concern is the drawdown of NATO troops from Afghanistan later this year and what any subsequent security vacuum along the borders will mean for Pakistan. She further highlighted the Pakistani government’s ongoing attempts to negotiate with the Pakistani Taliban, the resumption of the ministerial-level U.S.-Pakistan Strategic Dialogue after a three-year break, the development of Pakistan’s first comprehensive internal security policy, ongoing terrorist attacks, and a new multinational fund announced by the U.S. and Turkey that will provide financial support to locally-led initiatives to combat violent extremism in Pakistan and elsewhere. The delegates stressed that women need to be part of many of these conversations and need to help shape the policies that result.

    While it is perhaps too early to know how the women’s recent week of advocacy will turn into action on the ground, Swanee Hunt, founder and chairperson of Inclusive Security, emphasized the importance of their presence, of their voices being heard, and of the chance it brings for change. Pervaiz, the National Assembly member, agreed that having an opportunity as the “stakeholders” to meet in person with decision makers leaves a unique impact.

    “It has given a very humane touch to the whole thing,” she said. “When people come into contact, when you share experiences, when you share your thoughts, that makes a lot of difference.”

    Hunt, who served as the United States ambassador to Austria from 1993 to 1997, also said that the ways women are fighting back against violent extremism in Pakistan, as part of the police force and without, can be a global model.

    “It’s law enforcement but it’s beyond that, it’s what women bring into law enforcement,” she said. “They are disarming extremists with no collateral damage. Unlike a drone attack, which is extremely, extremely expensive, and kills many more innocent than it does the extremists that it’s targeting.

    “The basic question is why should we meet murder with murder?” Hunt continued. “When we do that we lose the war and we lose ourselves also, we lose the humanity in ourselves. And that’s what these women understand. So when they go out, someone like Mossarat Qadeem, when she goes out, she is winning back the young men and their mothers. She’s not going out to kill them. So what they’re talking about is transformation. It’s really the most noble form of foreign policy.”

  • Lace that  evokes  passion

    Lace that evokes passion

    Fabrics, play a great role when it comes to the clothes that we wear. What also makes them exciting is the dexterity of our designers, who have mastered a number of these fabrics to churn out great designs.  Yetunde  Oladeinde takes a look at the lace and its uniqueness.

    FOR a number of brides, the preference is for bold, bright and sassy fabrics. This is because they help to achieve that terrific fashion statement that they have always dreamed about.

    Interestingly, the lace fabric gives a fresh burst of energy and it helps to flatter the overall outlook for the day. If you desire a memorable event, you can make use of a variety of lace fabrics to make the designs of your choice.

    The lace is made of delicate netting or an openwork fabric, patterned with open holes in the work, made by machine or by hand. The holes can be formed via removal of threads or cloth from a previously woven fabric, but; more often, open spaces are created as part of the lace fabric. A true lace is created when a thread is looped, twisted or braided to other threads independently from a backing fabric. Originally, linen, silk, gold, or silver threads were used.

    There are different types of lace and you have a number that are great for bridal outfits. This includes the Guipure lace which has a continuous motif, which creates a denser pattern than with other laces. It is normally quite a firm feeling lace and commonly contains a floral or geometric design.

    One of the earliest types of lace is also sometimes known as Venetian laces are elegant and originally were made exclusively in Northern France. Also known as Alencon lace, they are formed by outlining areas in the lace using a heavier thread or cord, giving these laces a three dimensional look.

    The alluring bridal gown matched with exciting accessories can take you to fantasy island. A great presentation from head to toe will certainly live memories that will linger forever. You should, however, note that whatever fabric or design you choose, it is important to make sure that what you wear is comfortable.

  • ‘Don’t give charity to  siblings or friends’

    ‘Don’t give charity to siblings or friends’

    Laura Oloyede is the Chief Operating Officer, Cutler Communications. She tells Adetutu Audu her company’s initiative to tackle the scourge of unemployment and her leadership style.

    RECENTLY your organisation organised a summit on promoting entrepreneurial education. What is the initiative all about?

    PEE is an initiative of Cutler Communications because we recognised the national issue and we felt that even though the Coordinating Minister for the Economy and Minister of Finance, Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, said at the World Economic Forum for last year that it’s important for people to begin to promote entrepreneurial education and she was equally calling on private organisations to support the need to promote this.

    The national issue has to do with the fact that there are no jobs, it’s not a Nigerian thing; International Labour Organisation is screaming it, all the statistics are saying it. Right now, we have about 220 million youths in the Sub-Saharan Africa that are jobless; Nigeria belongs to SSA. In Nigeria, According to SURE-P, we have 40 million employable Nigerians that are unemployed. It is sad for us to sit and say that it is government’s responsibility to provide jobs and that’s what the initiative is all about.

    Cutler Communications has recognised that it is a national issue; people are losing their jobs, graduates are not getting employment, access to finance is getting very, very difficult. So what are we going to do pending when government is able to get it right? And when I say get it right, I’m talking about providing an enabling environment. What are we supposed to do? When you have younger siblings or friends who come to you for money because they are out of job or for a particular need, what are you supposed to do? If you give them money, you are not helping them. People believe that Nigerians are natural entrepreneurs, so we need to encourage ourselves. Both the people that are not in employment and those that are in employment, we have to begin to think like entrepreneurs and I think what the whole nation should arise to. That is what the initiative Cutler Communications started, leveraging on what Okonjo-Iweala talked about and naturally just looking at the situation in the country.

    What are the Cutler Communications’ Objectives with PEE

    Cutler is hoping at creating the awareness. Awareness, more like it’s not business as usual. Awareness, more like making people realise that you don’t sit there and expect government to do certain things because it is not its responsibility in the first instance. Awareness in the sense that you need to learn how to be an entrepreneur.

    We are looking at creating this awareness for private organisations to support this initiative. We have private organisations that embark on corporate social responsibility programmes, they need to partner with this initiative, and they need to understand we have to begin to do things differently.

    Look at the recent policy of the CBN, where it increased CRR to 75 per cent. What do you think will happen? More people will naturally lose their jobs because it will lead to cutting down on operating costs . Everybody is cutting cost; if you think you are employed today, your job is not secured.

    How was the response on the public discourse held?

    I don’t want to say it was awesome. Let me start with the panelist. We have the managing partner of SIAO,Ituah Ighodalo,and coincidentally, he was talking about our mindest. Give a fresh graduate money to start business, he will struggle with how to manage finances. We also have Mr. Lere Baale, from the Netherlands Business School, he also that entrepreneurial education should start from our school. You and I can sit down and say our fathers failed this nation because you sit down and look at leaders that have gone ahead. We don’t want our children to say the same. I had all my education in Nigeria and not for once did I know how to translate information into business solution. And that is the chaos that we have in Nigeria today. We want to start with the children. How do we use information? You don’t have to be 40-years old or an Aliko Dangeote. Look at Mark Zuckerberg, how old is he? We had getting event last month and we have been positive feedback and it means it requires continuation, We invited the Bank of Industry and they attended. We have the citizens and the organised private sector,. Look at what companies are doing today. They embark on corporate responsibility programme by drilling boreholes. Boreholes are good, I doubt if it is going to create employment for somebody. I’m challenging companies to partner with this initiative; the first public you want to manage is your staff. Begin to teach them on entrepreneurship. Because the same company you are running, you need the staff to be optimally productive. If they do not think like an entrepreneur they will not be optimally productive.

    How many of us would go to London Business School, Leeds or Harvard? So I ask again, where we are going as a nation.

    So what is the way forward?

    No government can provide for 40 million Nigerians, even the government has all the resources. Our mindset has to change.

    Our solution is our mind. We have to begin to think productively. That is where it starts from. We have done the public discourse, we still have the radio campaign through which we will talk to children, and even we have another way through comics. We have started comics that will enlighten children on how to be an entrepreneur. When for example an aunty goes to see a nephew or niece, and gives you money, the next that should come to your mind as a child is not snack.

    For adult, it is going to be another way. Ultimately, for this year, is the enterpreurial summit and we are going to use Lagos as a pilot and we are going to Abuja as well.

    It’s not going to be one solution that will solve all the problems. People are perishing because they lack knowledge; knowledge is the vital information. That is what we are not looking at.

    In our pursuit towards job creation, we are not going to be saying to people: create jobs. That’s the latter. We are going to let people know understand that we are all sitting on land mines and if we are not careful, it’s going to explode right before our faces.

    We do not have skill any more in Nigeria. Let’s take you as an example, you are skilled at your job. So if you are going to start something, all of the knowledge and experience that you’ve gathered over the years, you are going to use it to grow your business, if you want to start on your own. Just last year, I was speaking with an expatriate from Asia; do you know what this gentleman said to me? He said as big as Nigeria is, we don’t want to do our jobs. He said the way things are going in Nigeria, in the next 10 years, you will probably have more expatriates to fill up top positions and middle positions because Nigerians don’t want to learn. Who is going to solve that problem? You think it is government? No! If you have to run an organisation successfully, Nigeria can as well be classified as an organisation or a family. Things are not going right; our value system is wrong, we’ve lost it and that is the awareness that we seek to correct. It is so bad now that from the recent checks that we did: Do you know what real estate developers are doing? They bring artisans from the neighbouring countries. So what is wrong with our people? Are we still talking about job creation?

    We lack the skill, because we don’t want to learn the skills. Your mechanics don’t know the jobs. When you begin to bring people from neighbouring citizens to come and do the jobs Nigerians are naturally supposed to do. Do you still want to blame the government?

    Recently,we witnessed the stampede that occurred during the Nigeria Immigration Service recruitment exercise. How does PEE relate to this?

    It’s glaring and I prayed that God will comfort the family of those who lost their loved ones. There is nothing we do that will bring back those lives despite federal government’s promise of job. I asked again, how many more lives do we still want to lose? If it were possible to chat with 10 percent of the over 700,000 people that attended, you would have realised that these people have business ideas, the problem is that we have ideas and we are caging them in.

    I have always heard complaints that we don’t have access to fund. How many people do not have access to fund. This entrepreneur education, the way to go about, leave government out of this. You are working, if you have a successful job for three years, you probably have some savings and probably have access to co-operative loan.

    The man that founded Subway, eatery in the U.S I understand that he wanted to go school, he did not have money, he went to meet his rich uncle for school fees. The asked him what do you know how to do.

    The man said he wanted to go into fast food. The uncle provided the fund. He began to save and later sent himself to school. Today, Subway has franchises all over the world, the company is till growing.

    Every time an employable dependant goes to an adult to ask for money, we do harm by continuing to give money for consumables. Precisely, it is high time, we asked them what they want to do.

    Interestingly I went to an online food store, where you can get as little as ponmo, green vegetables. You can order online. That is somebody’s initiative. It is sickening when able-bodied adults are pointing accusing fingers to government.

    As a COO, what is your managerial style?

    Interesting. It depends on what needs to be achieved. Most of the time I exhibit visionary leadership. I don’t tell my colleagues what to do. I lead by lifestyle at work and expect them to do same. For instance, let me commend them on the PEE. I recognised what the Minister of Finance, Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala said when she mentioned that our pathway to sustainable economy is job creation. And that was where the idea came from. I said wow, this is an intiative and I told my team this is what I see Cutler Communications doing. And they began to carve out direction to go. I don’t talk example, I lead by example.

  • Behold, Little Miss  Oshodi-Isolo 2014

    Behold, Little Miss Oshodi-Isolo 2014

    BUNMI Abimbola, 10, has emerged Little Miss Oshodi-Isolo 2014, and qualified for the Little Miss Lagos finals to be held later among little queens from all the local government areas in Lagos State.

    Bunmi held off challenges from 18 other schools at the Little Miss Oshodi-Isolo Pageant, organised by the Children Development Forum (CDF), on April 10, at the council’s stadium.

    She won as the representative of Spring School, a private school based in Okota, following a rich school tradition. Spring also won the CDF first pageant, in the local government area, in 2004.

    Mrs Adedoja Adekoya, CDF programme coordinator, said the pageant was aimed at bringing out innate talents in the child-contestants, and fully develop their character

  • Tackling  gender-based  violence

    Tackling gender-based violence

    Gender based violence continues on a daily basis all over the world. It brings physical and psychological trauma to those concerned. Bilikis Bakare takes a lookat how to curb the trend and make life better for the girl child.

    ACCORDING to the United Nations, gender-based violence, interchangeably used with violence against women or at times domestic violence, is any act of violence that results in or is likely to result in physical, sexual or psychological harm or suffering to women/young girls, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty whether occurring in private [domestic] or public life. Gender-based violence is a global phenomenon and not limited to Nigeria. It occurs in various cultures, and affects people irrespective of their economic status.

    The primary targets of gender-based violence are women and adolescent girls. They also suffer exacerbated consequences as compared with what men endure. As a result of gender discrimination and their lower socio- economic status, women have fewer options and less resource at their disposal to avoid or escape abusive situations and to seek justice.

    In her journey through life, the female gender when lucky enough to be spared- female fetus are still being aborted in some societies-undergo a lot of harrowing experiences, the chief among which is exposure to violence. At least one in three girls and women worldwide has been beaten or sexually abused in her life time. Consequently, they suffer sexual and reproductive health consequences, including forced marriages and unwanted pregnancies, unsafe abortions and resulting deaths, traumatic fistula, and higher risks of sexually transmitted infections and HIV. Not too long ago in Lagos, a senior secondary school student with an ambition of becoming a medical doctor, was forcibly married off to an older man, who had defiled her before being rescued by the state Ministry of Women Affairs And Poverty Alleviation. Also in Kano State, northern Nigeria, a 14 year old girl poisoned her husband because she was forced to marry him.

    Violence against women can be physical, sexual or psychological. Other types can be in form of neglect and abandonment and economic disempowerment .Physical violence can occur both in private and in public and it includes but not limited to such acts as slapping, kicking, stabbing, shooting, hitting, pouring acid or any corrosive substance and murder. Other forms are harmful traditional practices and female genital mutilation.

    It is a common practice these days for husbands to turn their spouses to punching bags and often times vent their angers and frustrations on the latter. They label their wives as witches whenever they experience downturn in their economic lives or lose their jobs. Consequently, the wives suffer for the situations they did not partake in inventing in the first place. In most cases, the charlatans turned prophets and spiritualists are the major culprits. Similarly, if a woman earns more than the man, there may be conflicts in the home leading to domestic violence because the man may be feeling inferior and may believe the only way to assert his authority in the home is by becoming violent.

    Sexual violence, on the other hand, is the abuse of women’s bodily integrity and this includes incest, indecent assault of young girls, rape, sexual harassment and child pornography .Incest which had hitherto been an abomination in Africa, in the olden days , is now common as even fathers now sexually abuse their young daughters.

    But, perhaps, the most common form of sexual violence against the women folk is rape. Rape is having sex with a woman without her consent. Today, the rape epidemic in our society reflects the extent to which women’s human rights are flagrantly being threatened. Our laws and collective attitudes toward this weapon of domination and repression call to question not only our sense of justice but our level of civilization. Like a scourge, the regular cases of reported rape in the country’s media and confirmed statistics from some states are threatening to smother the essence of the society. Each day, the media are a washed with weird stories with varying degrees of ludicrousness ; from child defilement to the rape of old women. Nobody, not even infants is safe from the evil rampage of these randy felons on the prowl.

    Psychological violence is a form of gender based violence which are often not immediately obvious to the eye. It happens when a person uses words or actions to control, frighten, isolate or take away another person’s self respect, causing severe psychological trauma. It can include put downs, name calling or insults, constant yelling, keeping victim from seeing friends or family or controlling what she wears, where she goes, who she sees etc.

    Over the years, there have been agitations on how to stop domestic violence against women and children, but in 2012, the Lagos State House of Assembly made a bold move and passed into law, a bill to provide protection against domestic violence. Some states have also passed a law against this social menace but none of them have fully tested its efficacy.

    Many victims of domestic violence usually lack the courage to seek legal redress on the violation of their rights due to lack of positive response from the society as problem is often dismissed as a private one even by law enforcement agent and the fear of being exposed to more intense form of abuses. Domestic violence is so entrenched in our society that even the victims condone such violations of their rights as some perceive it as sign of love and the socio-religious belief that a broken marriage or relationship is a mark of failure in life. And also because many women and girls depend on financial resources of their husband, father or families, they are forced to put up with domination for fear of the withdrawal of this financial support.

    Therefore, in order to tackle this hydra- headed monster, women and girls should be sensitised and educated to draw a line between true love and abuse, should know the difference from being submissive and being out rightly stupid. Empowerment of women to avoid total dependent on their male counterpart is also very important as they will be able to take care of themselves and their children in cases of separation from their abusive spouses.

    Society should desist from stigmatising and humiliating victims as women in Nigeria face humiliating rules regarding evidence in court when it concerns violence against them. The victim of rape must provide the bed sheet slept on during the case of rape, pant worn must be presented unwashed and also medical report which in most cases are difficult to obtain because of the nature of our health facilities.

    The issue of gender-based violence is a social malady that requires holistic approach and solution from all stakeholders. The civil society groups, traditional and religious bodies, women rights groups, law enforcement agencies, all tiers of government and families must all work together with a view to stemming the tide of this dreadful societal ill.