The Nation Newspaper

Category: Online Special

  • Gathering of religious leaders

    Gathering of religious leaders

     

    Religious representatives from the Islam, Christian and Catholic faiths gathered at the Benito Juarez Library near the Palacio Municipal in Tijuana to discuss the need for interfaith scriptural understanding for peace on February 7.

    The event was hosted by Heavenly Culture, World Peace and Restoration of Light (HWPL).

    The objective of the World Alliance of Religions Peace Office is to bring religious leaders together and become one by seeing what makes scriptures and religions believable. The dialogue marks the first program since the establishment of HWPL’s World Alliance of Religions Peace Office in Tijuana, Mexico.

    A statement from the organizers said the event also coincided with regional office openings in HWPL El Salvador and Australia branches earlier this week.

    “We wanted to give the religious leaders and youth the opportunity in Tijuana to compare and contrast the scriptures of various religions, so that we can become one on the foundational commonality on the true purpose of religion. When we can agree on these commonalities—that’s peace” said HWPL representative and presider of the event, Ismael Garcia.

    The movement for interfaith dialogue began as a continuation of the Alliance of Religions agreement signed by over 700 religious leaders at the World Alliance of Religions Peace Summit held in September of last year. Together they declared, “Todo everything in (their) power to end all wars on this earth and to establish world peace according to the will of the Creator, God through the unity of religion.”

    “Regardless of whether you’re religious or not, let’s join together. In the Office of the Alliance of Religions we really need to study each other’s scriptures to see whose can really protect our lives and create a world of peace” said Chairman of HWPL, Mr. Man Hee Lee. Chairman Lee and the Chairwoman of the International Women’s Peace Group, Ms. Nam Hee Kim hosted the World Alliance of Religions’ Peace (WARP) Summit in the Republic of Korea that drew over 700 religious leaders and 50 heads of states. Holding true to the Alliance of Religions agreement, the two representatives are now establishing and actively operating WARP Offices around the world, beginning with Mindanao, Philippines.

    The World Alliance of Religions Peace Office meetings in Tijuana and El Salvador especially attracted a lot of attention as the religious leaders and participants in attendance had a special time to study the similarities and differences between each other’s faiths by holding up “X” and “O” cards in regards to questions of their religious scriptures.

    Adriana Padilla Mendoza, Directora Asuntos Religiosos of Tijuana also spoke on the important role of youth in leading the initiative of peace. “With the condition of the world right now, it’s good to know that there are organizations that are doing this type of work to gather people to make a difference,” said Mendoza.

     

     

  • ‘Why Abuja men patronise beer palours, gardens’

    ‘Why Abuja men patronise beer palours, gardens’

    Some men in Abuja have given reasons why they prefer to stop over at drinking joints before going home.

    Few of them who spoke to the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Abuja noted that they did that to avoid unnecessary squabbles with their wives.

    They also said disturbances from their children contributed to making them stay late night at drinking joints.

    Mr. Ferdinand Lucas, a welder, who usually visited Cachez Garden, Wuse, said that he stopped over at the garden to relax with a bottle of beer before going home to avoid argument with his wife.

    “I recall when we newly got married, my wife use to be very humble and caring but now it is the opposite.

    “My wife complains on every issue and sometimes I don’t even know how to handle or manage her.

    “In one of the occasions when I got home, she started complaining over the children school fees which I already promised to settle at the end of the month,’’ he said.

    Lucas said he wish he was still single to avoid the usual ranting of the wife, even when he came home late.

    Mr. Samuel Olaedo a business man at Wuse Market said he preferred to stop over at beer parlour to drink and watch football to ease off tension before going home.

    “I recall an incident that happened some time ago, my wife asked me to buy a separate television for her to avoid her disturbance during football match.

    “I told her I have no money for that now, since she comes back home before me she will start watching her soap operas; she will hide the remote control from me.

    “When I return home and try to change the station from the decoder we will start arguing which will result to insults,’’ he said.

    Olaedo pointed out that he preferred going straight to his bed to sleep even when he returned home late just to avoid the wife’s disturbance.

    A male boutique operator, who spoke on the condition anonymity, said the desire to take care of his girlfriend keeps him out in a garden every day.

    According to him, the wife is incapable of making the home interesting for him.

    “My girlfriend is a very interesting person and she makes me very happy; that is why I spend more time with her than with my wife.

    “My wife doesn’t make the home interesting, she is always busy chatting with her friends on phone and leaving me to myself but my girlfriend gives me attention and notices everything that bothers me,’’ he said.

    He further said that he could be married to the girlfriend if the wife does not change.

     

    PHOTO CREDIT: royaltimes.net

  • He promised me paradise, but all I got was hell! (5)

    He promised me paradise, but all I got was hell! (5)

    Concluding part
    The front door was unlocked and as I stepped into the house, I could hear sounds like loud moans from the direction of our bedroom.
    I opened the door and almost collapsed at the sight that met my eyes- there was my husband, the man who had sworn to love me forever, forsaking others, in bed with Clarissa! A lady whom he claimed was just a friend!

    The incidents of that day are imprinted in my memory forever. Try as I could, I can’t get rid of the picture of my Kel making love with that stupid woman, Clarissa. I remember screaming at them: “Kel, what are you doing with this woman, in our bed?”

    I expected shame even remorse but all he did was climb off the bed, pull on his boxers and say in a nonchalant tone: “What does it look like? And by the way, what are you doing home by this time when you should be at work?”

    All this while, the shameless woman still laid on the bed, naked not even bothering to get up and leave the room. I would have fought her then but I remembered my condition: I was over eight months pregnant and could give birth any day. Despite my distressed state of mind, I knew I had to keep my cool for the baby’s sake. So, I instead focused my anger on my husband.
    “So, the casual leave you took from work was so you could be sleeping with that bitch behind my back! Why are you so wicked, Kel? Why are you doing this to me? This was not what you promised! Here I am heavily pregnant and all you could do is be sleeping around with this intruder, a home wrecker! As for you, “I said, turning my attention to Clarissa who was sauntering after Kel as he left the bedroom, “your evil plans to destroy my marriage won’t work!  Stupid woman, home breaker! Husband snatcher! Go and look for your own husband and leave mine alone!”

    I continued shouting on them as they left for one of the spare rooms.

    “You are the intruder! You came uninvited and spoilt our fun,” was all the wicked Clarissa could say as she walked pass me. They locked themselves inside and refused to come out despite my banging on the door continuously…

    ***
    Later, I sat in the living room, weeping profusely, feeling really sorry for myself. Then, after I had calmed down a bit, I called my friend Trina. When she heard what happened, she offered to come to the house to stay with me.

    “So, he’s still there, in that room with that woman! Na wa o! What has come over Kel? This is not the same man you dated and courted before your marriage. He has changed so much,” she said as we sat talking in the kitchen.

    “That is what I’m seeing in this house. I’ve not known peace for a day since this strange woman came. And today was the climax- catching both of them in my bed. Imagine the betrayal. This is a man who promised to love and cherish me forever, treating me this way, “I said sadly, close to tears again.
    “I feel really bad for you. You have to take it easy because of your condition. This thing must have been going on between them for sometime but God wanted to expose them today,” she stated, before adding: “So, what are you going to do now?”

    I shrugged helplessly.

    “What can I do? I can’t fight her. Look at my tummy! I’ve to think of my baby’s safety,” I replied.

    “But this can’t continue! Dating her is bad enough, but doing it under your nose in your own bed is terrible. It shows he doesn’t have any respect for you as his wife. I think you need to report the situation to his parents. Someone needs to talk some sense into his thick head,” she suggested.

    Some hours later, Trina and I were in the living room watching a programme on TV when Kel and Clarissa emerged from the room.
    “We are going out. Ensure you prepare some food for us on our return,” said Kel, his arm around his lover’s waist.
    Trina gave me a shocked look after they had gone, stating:

    “This is terrible! What kind of husband behaves this way? So irresponsible!”

    Out on the streets

    I took my friend’s advice and reported Kel to his family. The following weekend, his parents summoned us to their home for a meeting. When asked why he brought in his girlfriend Clarissa into his matrimonial home, he had this to say:
    “I’m not denying bringing a woman into our home. But she caused it,” said Kel, giving me a baleful look.
    His parents, some uncles and cousins who were at the meeting, all looked at him askance.
    He continued speaking.
    “Ask her when was the last time she allowed me to touch her. Over six months ago! Am I a piece of wood? I’m a man for God’s sakes!” he stated angrily.
    “Nobody is disputing that, that as a man you need a woman. But it’s wrong of you to bring the lady in question into your home. How do you think your wife will feel?”
    “I don’t bloody care how she feels! She only thinks of herself and her needs and doesn’t care about me. I never knew when I marred her that she’s so selfish, stubborn and wicked!” he noted with a hiss.
    “And you are an angel, abi? You should be ashamed of yourself acting the way you do with that prostitute girlfriend of yours! Stupid fool!” I fired back at him furiously.
    “Did you hear her? You see how rude she is, talking to her husband so disrespectfully! You people should warn her or I will beat some sense into her, not minding her condition!” he threatened.
    Later, after things had quietened down, Kel’s father put down his judgement, that Kel, for the sake of peace in our home and marriage, should send Clarissa out of the house immediately.
    “Jessica here, is the one we know as your wife. You brought her here to us that she’s the girl you want to marry. We don’t know this other woman you have brought into your home. Send her away so peace can reign in your home again,” he ordered. He was supported by nearly all the other family members.
    I was very happy at the way things turned out and I looked forward to regaining my home and husband from Clarissa’s clutches. My joy was however, short lived. On getting back home that day after the family meeting, I expected Kel to send the woman packing as he had been instructed to. Instead, I was the one he threw out of the house!
    “You are not even afraid! You have the guts to go and report me to my family! It’s like you are tired of this marriage. So, I will make it easy for you- just pack and go! Take your stuff and get out of my house and my life!” he said as he threw my suitcases and bags out of the house.

    My pleadings with him to reconsider at least for the sake of the baby, were ignored by him.

    I stood forlorn, among my belongings in the courtyard, my heart heavy with bitterness, anger and regret…

    Later, my brother came to pick me to my parents home. It was there I had my baby, Henry who is the spitting image of his father. Kel never showed up throughout my stay in the hospital; my baby is over a year old now and he has only seen him once, during the baby’s christening and dedication in the church.

    I feel traumatised by my marital woes, the breakdown of my marriage with Kel less than four years after we tied the knot. My family have been so supportive. I don’t know what I would have done without them. Trina and other friends, have been strong pillars of support.

    I heard Kel’s father and other family members have given him an ultimatum to take me and the baby back home. As far as I’m concerned, they are acting on their own. I don’t feel too good living in my father’s house at my age and a married woman with a child. But it’s better here where I have peace (and no beatings) than being with Kel and face all the horrible things I saw in his house.
    Or what do you think? Should I go back to Kel or not? Readers’ views are welcome!

    The End

    We welcome comments/suggestions from readers. All correspondence should be sent to 08023201831(sms only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com

    Names have been changed to protect the identity of Jessica, her husband and other individuals in the story

  • What’s in a name?

    What’s in a name?

    A few days ago, while I stood by the news-stand of the University of Calabar Library running my eyes over the newspaper headlines about our political landscape, I met a young bespectacled man, who had the demeanour that suggested he was intelligent. We exchanged opinions on issues about the election and the political parties for quite a few hours.

    He demonstrated much sagacity in the conversation, buttressing his arguments with logical and factual points. After our argument, I introduced myself and shook hands with him, to herald a new friendship. But my introduction was reciprocated with a name that reverberated with war-like vitality in my eardrums. It sounded: Worship God. I was moved to laughter and then into displeasure. I couldn’t figure out how such an intelligent young man managed to harbor an excrescence on his persona. When I inquired the reason for such a name, he merely responded that it was his parents’ choice. It baffled me; it worried me.

    In all parts of Africa, names are unique and special in every way. They identify a person and his origin. For example, the names Awoonor and Chukwuemeka both reveal that the owners of the name are of Ghanaian and Nigerian extraction respectively.

    In Nigeria precisely, during the pre-independence era, Western and English names were widespread. Because of the difficulty encountered by the British colonialists in pronouncing our African names, they foisted English names upon Nigerian employees then. So, the colonialists ensured that those who wanted to get education through the mission schools jettisoned their native names for English counterparts. Ergo, names such as Richard, Francis, Charles, Brown, Elizabeth, Anita and a host of others are vestigial remains of the British enforcement.

    However, with our political emancipation from the British imperialists, the strength of the Western names began to wane, and our traditional names started to rise, springing to prominence like mushrooms on a Harmattan morning. Consequently, this revitalised our multifarious cultures and strengthened our cultural bond.

    In the past, the process of naming a child was usually rigorous and laborious. It was considered sacred. The choice of names was carried out seriously, as it was believed that names have a special significance on the child. By giving a child a name, parents go beyond viewing the child as an embryological product of cellular fusion but as a gift that should be respected and given an identity. Besides being the child’s identity, names are regarded as cryptic forces which direct the child’s path. They express concern for the child’s future and the parents’ expectation for the child. Traditional names are attributes that the child is hoped to acquire.

    Unlike the Western names and occidental cultures, African names usually are steeped in myths and fables. In the Yoruba culture, for instance, children who die each time they are born are given such names as Kokumo, Kosoko, Durojaiye and several others. These names, it is hoped, will lure such children into staying and not die again. The circumstances which surround a child’s conception is an important factor that determines a child’s name. Still in the Yoruba culture, the first child of a twin is christened Taiwo, which is an abridged form of Eni ti o wa to aiye wo. When translated in English, this means: he who came to taste the world.

    The tale behind that name is that the second child, Kehinde (he who comes after), tells the elder

    twin to go to the world firsts and give it (kehinde) a shout if the world is sweet. Therefore, if the first twin, for any reason, does not cry, it will be hard to get kehinde to follow. Traditional names are also given as supplications to the Creator, to protect the child from evil. Chinualumogu (May God fight on my behalf), for example, Eze, Ade, Obio, Omo ovie, Effiom, Ovie are some of the names given to children of royal lineages across Nigeria.

    However, there appears to be an emergence of an excrescence on our naming culture recently, one which is fast gaining currency in our society. Every now and then, these names bark at me from print.

    The list goes thus: Wonderful, Worthy, Great, Divine, Destiny, Praise, Possibility, Happiness, Unique Victory, Testimony and even the more ludicrous God is able and Amen. These names are completely bereft of meaning. No doubt they are products of religious dogmatism.

    Worse still, some of these names are adjectives, which in English grammar do not serve a nominal function. It is seemingly obvious that our slavish adherence and blinding loyalty to religion has beclouded our reasoning and lobotomized our sensibilities. Our cultural values are teetering on the brink of obscurity owing to our religious fanaticism.

    Our younger generations are no more christened names which appreciate the presence of light in our lives. Gone are the days when stunning beauties bore such sweet names as Arewa, Asake, Ngozi, Irohghene, Onyinye and many more. Such names taste delectable when chewed and sweet-sounding when absorbed.

    Regrettably, our progenies are dubbed names which jar on our nerves when blurted.

    May I state here that I don’t mean to appear impious or irreligious? All I clamour for is the revitalitisation of our rich cultural and traditional names. They are our pride. They are the epitome of our freedom and independence. And, above all, they reveal to the world a cultural heritage that emanates from a fascinating history.

     

    Charles writes from the University of Calabar

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Mind Builders pupils visit The Nation

    Mind Builders pupils visit The Nation

    The pupils of Mind Builders School last Thursday paid an educational visit to the head office of The Nation Newspaper in Lagos.

    The children were taken to the printing press, the editorial department, and the newsroom among other places, having studied means of communication in Social Studies, according to one of the teachers that accompanied the pupils.

    The teacher, Soyode Olayemi, noted that the primary one pupils had been taught verbal and non-verbal communications like body language and the old method of communication, the use of gongs.

    The Nation’s Joanna spoke to two children, Modebola Oluwasona and Ekomobong Ekanem who said they enjoyed the trip and saw machines, printers, and various vehicles for transporting the newspapers.

    Responding to a short interview on examples of media, Ekomobong said: “Examples of media include Newspapers, radio and television”.

    However, Modebola aspires to become a medical doctor while Ekomobong wants to become an author because she likes to write.

    According to Mrs. Umeh, also a teacher, the primary one pupils were taken on the newspaper organization tour because they treated a topic in communication.

    They also treated the media, means of communication, the way messages are conveyed and the fact that newspapers are used to convey messages.

    Mind Builders School has three campuses located at Omole Phase1, Omole Phase 2 and Ikeja CBD, Alausa all in Lagos state.

     

  • Test HIV, syphilis on your smartphones in 15mins

    Test HIV, syphilis on your smartphones in 15mins

    Technology has proven itself as a major way to make life better as a group of US researchers have come up with a palm-sized device that when connected to a smartphone can diagnose Human Immune Deficiency Virus – HIV and syphilis with good accuracy.

    The new smartphone dongle, which can test blood samples for HIV and syphilis in about 15 minutes, could save millions of lives across the world, scientists claim.

    According to the researchers, the device is dependent on a Smartphone’s audio jack to mimick the enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay (ELISA), a well-known test for HIV, and “performs almost as well.”

    The success of the dongle is a follow up on an initial study, involving about 96 women in Rwanda, published in Science Translational Medicine journal.

    However, experts have expressed hope that the lab-on-a-chip device would be helpful, especially in places where field clinics are set up to help remote or under-served populations.

    The team, led by Samuel Sia, Associate Professor of biomedical engineering, Columbia University and a NASA Launch innovator, is aiming for larger clinical trials to confirm the device’s capacity.

    Speaking on the innovation, the engineer said: “Our work shows that a full laboratory-quality immunoassay can be run on a smartphone accessory.

    “Coupling microfluidics with recent advances in consumer electronics can make certain lab-based diagnostics accessible to almost any population with access to smartphones. This kind of capability can transform how health care services are delivered around the world”.

    The study was funded by a Saving Lives at Birth transition grant — which is backed by the US Agency for International Development (USAID), the Gates Foundation, the government of Norway, Grand Challenges Canada, the World Bank and the Wallace H. Coulter Foundation.

    The device is currently on sale for N6,000 ($34) – nearly 540 times cheaper than current lab testing machines, and has already been tested on patients in Rwanda during a pilot study.

    Other countries in Africa including Nigeria, European and Asian countries, anticipate its introduction soonest when passed for public use.

  • Centre renews commitment to promote African culture

    Centre renews commitment to promote African culture

    Mr. Ferdinand Anikwe, the Director-General, Centre for Black and African Art Civilisation (CBAAC), on Wednesday renewed the agency’s focus on promoting African culture in Nigeria and abroad.

    Anikwe told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Abuja that the promotion would be through symposia, lectures and other organised programmes for youths.

    “We want to re-educate and re-orientate youths on our cultural values; we are going to do this through debates and competitions and with the help of our local artistes.

    “Culture is another medium for conflict resolution; it is appropriate, wonderful, effective, penetrating and persuasive.

    “We are using culture to bring non-violence revolution; we want cultural revolutionary ideas, behaviours and transformation.

    “These will bring new forms in infrastructure as well as education.

    “So, we are saying that a new Nigeria has emerged and out of social re-generation Nigeria is changing for the better,’’ the director said.

    According to Anikwe, CBAAC will encourage youths to create programmes like drama sketches on the significance of speaking indigenous languages.

    “We have come up with factors that unite us rather than divide Nigeria. We want the world to keep seeing the beautiful side of Nigeria and not all the negative images.

    “We will continue to deliberate on our culture, philosophy of life, traditional governance system, and indigenous village and technology,’’ he said.

    The director noted that with everybody’s support, African culture would change people’s consciousness about violence and conflict.

    He therefore urged the media to assist the agency in its quest to promote African culture to the outside world.

    “The media has a role to play; we ask for your cooperation to promote and market African culture.

    “Together we can join hands to take our culture to a level where it will be the envy of the world,’’ he said.

  • He promised me paradise, but all I got was hell! (4)

    He promised me paradise, but all I got was hell! (4)

    Continued from last week…..

    Then, abruptly, he flung me against the wall and I slid to the floor. I must have fainted for when I woke up, I found myself on a hospital bed. A nurse, who was standing by the bed, looked relieved on seeing me awake.

    “Thank God, you have regained consciousness. We have been so worried about you. Let me get the doctor,” she stated, before hurrying out of the room.

    It was from the doctor I heard the horrible news, that my baby, who had arrived prematurely had died.

    “We kept him in an incubator since he was premature but it was no use. He lived for just a few hours,” he said in a sad tone. I turned my face to the wall, hot tears steaming down my face, feeling too drained and weak to even cry out.

    Just then, some of my family members came into the room, their expressions shifting from looks of joy at my regaining consciousness and sadness at my baby’s death. My Dad, stepmother and my brother Mike stood round the bed, looking down at me.

    “I’m so glad you are back with us, my daughter. You are very precious to me and I can’t afford to lose you,” said my Dad as he took my hand in his. He looked grim when I quietly narrated what had happened with my husband that had led to my being hospitalized.

    “I know it’s painful to lose your baby but though the water might have spilt, the vessel is still intact; it’s not broken. As for that husband of yours, just leave him to me. I know what to do to him. Don’t worry about him. Your health is what matters now. So, focus on getting better and everything will be alright,” he reassured me. ”

    But will it, I thought glumly after they had gone to see the doctor. Will things ever be the same again between Kel and I after what had happened. I shuddered, remembering the fight at home, the crazy look in his eyes as he held my throat so tightly. What if he had strangled me to death that night? It was a miracle that I was alive but that fact brought me little joy. All I could think about was losing my baby and I blamed Kel for that.

    I heard he had been coming to the hospital all the time I was unconscious and had been so worried about me. But I did not care; I did not want to see him and I told the nurses attending to me not to allow him near my room.

    Later, I fell into a deep sleep and woke up to the sound of loud voices outside the door of my room. I could make out my husband, Kel’s voice among them. He was telling the nurses to allow him in to see me as it was his right as my husband.

    “She’s my wife! You can’t stop me from seeing her! What kind of crazy hospital is this? I will definitely let the CMD hear about this!” he threatened.

    “Sir, we are just following instructions. It’s better you go back and return when she’s in a better frame of mind,” the nurse told him but he was not ready to budge. Though still feeling weak and with pains, I managed to get out of the bed and made for the door. I stood there silently for a while watching the argument between Kel and the nurses.

    “What have you come to do now? Finish the ‘work’ you started at home?” I queried, my voice seeping with anger.

    They all turned to me then.

    “Ah, baby, how are you feeling now? Are you alright?” he asked, a worried look on his face. One of the nurses bustled up to me and stated firmly:

    “Madam, you are not strong enough to be walking around yet. Go back to bed. It’s time to take your drugs. Lie down and Nurse Mary will attend to you.”

    “Just tell him to stay away from me. I don’t want to see him,” I said as I laid on the bed.

    ***

    About a week later, I was discharged from the hospital. Instead of heading home however, Mike drove me down to our parents’ house. I did not want to go home, at least not yet. I needed space and time to recover fully both physically and mentally, before seeing my husband again. I was to remain there for the next three months despite Kel’s pleading for forgiveness and for me to return home.

    He also sent his relatives to plead with my Dad and I. My father who was really angry with Kel at his behaviour, was even more against my going back to my husband, stating that if he had killed me that night of the fight, ‘would they be here begging for me to return to him?’

    “I gave my daughter to your son to love and care for her, not kill her for me. I lost her mother to illness some years ago. I don’t want anything to happen to her. So, warn your son! He should learn to control his temper as a man,” he told them.

    After some time though, my Dad relented. By then, my anger with my husband had subsided and I was ready for a reconciliation. Truth is, I loved my husband very much and I was ready to work on my marriage to make it succeed.

    On the eve of departure for my marital home, my Dad had a long talk with me.

    “My dear daughter, as you are going back to your husband, I want you to put what has happened behind you and forge on. Marriage is not a bed of roses; anyone that says otherwise is simply lying. It’s full of challenges, you just have to learn to weather them. Be patient with your husband and do not provoke him to anger that might result in violence like what happened the last time. Your husband has shown enough remorse and I believe there won’t be a repeat of the last incident. Be a good and loving wife to him and he will cherish you,” my father advised.

     

    ***

    Soon, I returned home and life went on as usual. The only difference was Kel, who now treated me so carefully like an egg that could break if handled roughly. He later confessed that he thought he was going to lose me when I was lying unconscious in the hospital.

    “I couldn’t sleep for days or eat. I prayed like I had never done in my life. I was so scared you might die,” he stated.

    “As you can see, I’m still alive and well,” I said, smiling.

    He laughed then made a solemn promise never to lay a finger on me again.

    “Never again, darling. I promise never to hit you or cause you pain,” he said before drawing me close and kissing me passionately.

    That promise lasted exactly six months. Then it was back to the old Kel. He would slap or hit me whenever we had any argument. With time, he grew more controlling and dictated what I could and not do.

    I work in a government parastatal and I usually closed from work officially around 5 o’clock. But sometimes, extra work would keep me in the office an hour later. I was home late on such days and it was a bone of contention between us.

    “Why can’t you be home early like other civil servants? What do you do in that office after closing? Or are you having an affair? Are you now cheating on me? Answer me!” he demanded angrily one evening on getting home later than him.

    “Kel, how can you say that? You know I will never do that! It was the traffic that made me late,” I explained. But he was still furious and kept on talking about what he termed ‘these so called sophisticated career city women who run around with other men and cheat on their husbands.’

    “If I ever catch you having an affair behind my back, I’ll kill you with my bare hands,” he warned. I kept my cool and did not say a word further to maintain the peace.

     

    The other woman…

    Then, I got pregnant again and this time, I was determined to keep this baby. Kel was happy at the news though later, that changed to anger when I stopped sleeping with him. I had taken the decision to keep my pregnancy safe, to avoid another miscarriage.

    “You do this all the time, denying me my rights! Of what use are you to me, anyway? Or your family? You and your crazy family are completely useless!” he raved. I ignored him and went to sleep in the spare room to avoid a quarrel and possibly another beating.

    He did not bother me about the issue for sometime and I thought he had agreed with me to cool off from sex for a while.

    Unknown to me, he had other plans. I came home one Saturday evening from a visit to my friend Trina to see my husband laughing and talking with a lady in the sitting room. I had never seen her before and wondered who she was.

    “Oh, here you are dear. This is Clarissa, a very good friend of mine. We knew each other back in the States; she’s in the country for a visit and she will be staying with us for a while,” he stated. I greeted her then turned to my husband and motioned for him to follow me to our bedroom.

    “Kel, what is the meaning of this? How can you just bring a guest home without informing me about it?” I queried sharply.

    “So, now I have to take permission from you before inviting my friends home?” he countered.

    “That’s not what I mean. You should have told me she was coming maybe yesterday so I can make preparations. It’s wrong for you to simply bring her home without telling me, your wife beforehand,” I replied.

    “Thank God you know your place, that you are my wife and not my mother. You have no right to question me about this issue. Instead of standing there babbling, go and get the guest room ready. She’s tired after the journey and she needs to rest,” he ordered. I was ready to argue with him on the matter but remembered my father’s words just in time and decided to keep my cool for the sake of peace.

    That was how Clarissa came into our lives. She brought with her a new set of problems to add to the ones I was already battling with. She was the lazy type who did no house chores and expected to be served everything. Even in my condition, she never offered to help with the cleaning, cooking and other chores around the house but left everything to me. All she did all day was paint her nails and face, style her long weave and wear all kinds of skimpy and provocative clothes both at home and while going out. Then, there was her drinking and smoking habits which I found particularly irritating.

    Kel did not see anything wrong with her smoking in the house and told me to stop complaining about it.

    “Stop whining, woman! She’s our guest. Learn to live with her, bad habits and all,” he said.

    I endured, praying she would leave us soon. Then, two weeks after her unexpected arrival, I came home early from work one day as I had a bad headache. The front door was unlocked and as I stepped into the house, I could hear sounds like loud moans from the direction of our bedroom.

    I opened the door and…

    To be continued

     

    Don’t miss the concluding part of Jessica’s tale next Saturday

     

    We welcome comments/suggestions from readers. All correspondence should be sent to 08023201831(sms only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com

     

    Names have been changed to protect the identity of Jessica, her husband and other individuals in the story

  • Parents urged to monitor use of social media by children

    Parents urged to monitor use of social media by children

    The Medical Women’s Association of Nigeria (MWAN) on Monday advised parents to monitor the use of the social media by children to prevent them from being exposed to immorality.

    The National President of MWAN, Dr Valerie Obot, gave the advice while speaking at the association’s 5th National Executive Council meeting in Port Harcourt, Rivers.

    Obot, who spoke on the theme: `Effective Parenting of Children: The case of the Girl-Child said the failure of parents to monitor their female children’s access to and activities on the social media could lead to moral decadence among such children.

    “If you look at Nigeria in particular today, you will see that there is a lot of decadence in the society.

    “You will see that a lot of girls have turned to suicide bombers.

    “If the home is the first source of livelihood for a child to grow, then we must begin to train them (children) in order for us to have a good society tomorrow.

    “You are aware of all the challenges that the girl-child is passing through. So, our particular focus is a case for the girl-child because the girls are as good as the boys.

    “If you have a girl, you should parent your girl well. Let her know that she can be a leader and achieve whatever she would like to achieve, then you will see our girls not dropping out of school, but reaching their heights.“

    Obot said the association inaugurated a REACH-G programme recently with a focus on promoting empowerment, reproductive rights, education and access to adequate healthcare for the girl-child.

    She said the association was working hard to help reduce by 25 per cent the country’s annual maternal, infant and child deaths, which the United Nations rated the highest in sub-Saharan
    Africa.

    The national president said, “Apart from looking at the girls, we are also educating women by building capacity for primary healthcare workers to know when to refer pregnant women to hospitals for expatriate management.

    “We are also teaching women about reproductive health and giving them health information and services in order to stop the current high maternal mortality which results mainly from pregnancy.”

    The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that the association released an eight-point communiqué that urged parents to establish communication channels between them and their children.

    The communiqué also advised parents to protect their children always and provide them with the relevant tools that would help, especially the girl-child, become effective leaders in future.

    It condemned the assault on female medical doctors in the course of their duty.

  • Online shopping: What Nigerians say

    Online shopping: What Nigerians say

    There is a gradual shift from the traditional market shopping to online shopping. And most Nigerians are cashing in on this. To meet the demands of the daily increase of online shoppers a number of companies have sprung up. They include; Jumia, Konga, Kaymu, DealDey, among others.

    But what is really the attraction of Nigerians to online shopping? The Nation spoke to a cross section of Nigerians on their preference for online shopping and quality of service;

    Victoria Onuoha, Student

    “I use Jumia; I like it because it offers a variety of goods which are quite affordable too. They also deliver their goods to customers on time. They provide an avenue for you to return stuff you have issues with.”

    Oluwaseun Owolabi, Student

    “I use online shopping malls but I have don’t have any preference. I use anyone as long as they have what I want.”

    Michael Bamidele, Student

    “I like Jumia because they deliver products fast and they are efficient.”

    Paul Akerele, Graphic Designer

    “I use online shopping malls like Jumia, I do window shopping most times, though. The last time I wanted to get something from them, they didn’t have what I wanted.”

    Faith Olisa, Teacher

    “I’ve used Kong and DealDey. I prefer Konga because they always deliver the exact product I want and in good time, too. Some other online shopping malls merely apologise for the inconvenience caused by delivering substandard products.”

    Tunde, Professional Artist

    “I’ve used Jumia and Konga. I also use a variety of foreign online malls. I prefer Jumia because I feel it is more reliable. I have never had a cause to regret, return or complain about any of their products.”

    Joseph Ode, Student

    “I use online shopping malls very well. I use Konga and Jumia especially. Between the two, I think I prefer Konga because they have categories where you can either buy used or new products. You have to buy new stuff on Jumia. Konga gives me the opportunity to buy from a seller that has already used the product that wants to resell. Especially, when I don’t have money to buy new product. I also think the prices on Konga are cheaper than those on Jumia which are more expensive.”

    Chukwuemeka Joseph, Student

    “I use online markets and I prefer Konga because it is user friendly. It has a very easy interface. Products are also affordable. On Jumia, you have to buy strictly new products and the prices are not always accommodating. I think Konga is better. Also, the user interface is very easy to use, even a layman can use it. But Jumia’s website is complicated if you look at the graphics.”

    Muiz Oreore, Student

    “I prefer Jumia because they have quality products even if they are quite expensive, than other online shopping malls that sell less quality at cheaper rates. I like Jumia.”

    Oboh Ann, Student

    “I like Jumia. It’s popular and their goods are cheap.”

    Onyeka Victoria Okorie, Student

    “Well, I like V-connect deals. It’s an online shopping mall where you can get a lot of things. You can get kitchen wares, provisions, appliances, toiletries, you can get a number of things from them. They don’t deal in wears though. But you can get phones at cheaper rates. For everything you buy, there is a 10-20 per cent discount. You don’t purchase things at the normal price, but at a lower price. That’s a reason why I like them. They are also very efficient, they deliver quickly depending on what you buy. The delivery fee is also not expensive, if it’s not free. It’s usually between N200-400. You can also buy in bulk. Instead of leaving your house, you can purchase stuff from the convenience of your room with the tap of a few buttons.”

    Simi Adeniji, Student

    “I love shopping on Jumia. It’s a very good website for shopping for clothes, shoes, accessories and basically anything you need. They give you a list of prices and most times they have discounts.”

    Gift Maduka, Student

    “Jumia is a good place to shop. Their goods are very affordable and there are nice and durable stuffs to buy. Konga also sells nice stuffs. It all depends on what you really want. I’ll say they both serve the same purpose and they are both effective.”

    Peter Ogunojemite, Student

    “I like Jumia. It’s the only online shopping market I have used and I am satisfied with their services.”

    Irene Nwachukwu, Student

    “I use Jumia and DealDey. I prefer DealDey because there is always a discount on everything they sell. Their delivery is also fast.”

    Anisiba Chisom, Student

    “I like Jumia and Konga. I prefer Jumia because that’s where we buy most things we use at home (TV, Dispenser, Sound System).”

    Peter Adewoye, Student

    “I like Jumia, because of their advert. All of their adverts look very nice and interesting.”

    Wale, Graduate

    “I haven’t had any contact with any online shopping mall, this is because my younger sister recently had an experience which was painful. She wanted a tablet and she decided to get it from Konga. On the site, she saw details and all the accessories were complete. She booked for it and the process took a long time. They didn’t deliver it when she needed it. When they finally did, the accessories were not complete. That was when I decided that online marketing is nonsense. I don’t believe in it and I won’t do it.”

    Okechukwu Stine Amadike, Student

    “I prefer Konga. Their delivery is fast. They have good price rate.”

    Abigail Essien, Student

    “I love Kaymu. It’s very reliable.”

    Yemi Boye

    “I’ve used Jumia. I see a couple of things on Konga too. I like Jumia because the website is interactive and friendly. Konga is somehow cumbersome.”