The Nation Newspaper

Category: Family Forum

  • Two alone makes a home (3)

    Two alone makes a home (3)

    Dear reader, your marriage and family life are meant to bring you tremendous joy. When a home is not founded on God and His Word, the joy, excitement and satisfaction is short-lived. This is why it is important to know and do all it takes to build your home on God’s Word, which is the surest foundation for success in all of life’s endeavours.

    Since the month began, I have been teaching on how two alone makes a home and one of the strongest benefits of togetherness in the home. This week, I will focus on another vital secret that fosters togetherness in the home.

    Financial Transparency:

    It is very important as husband and wife to be financially transparent to one another. You should not keep things away from your spouse; especially when it has to do with money. There should be no “his” and “her” in family finance. Husband and wife should have access to each other’s money. You can both have a joint account.

    Couples are expected to help each other in every area of life. Be honest with one another, so that your marriage can last. Remember that whatever money you have belongs to both of you. Money has put many homes asunder; don’t let it put yours asunder.

    Trust is the key to family finance. Husband and wife must trust each other enough to put their money together and be prudent in spending it. Accountability is very important because it helps to build trust.

    In some cultures, the men believe that it is a shameful thing for their wives to know how much they earn. But the truth is, if you hide your earnings from your wife, she will definitely make demands that are beyond your means; as she doesn’t know how much you earn. You have to make up your mind whether to hold on to culture or the Word of God.

    Some women also believe that it is their husbands’ responsibility alone to provide for the home. They will even quote scriptures to back it up. No wonder, when such women receive their salary, they hide it from their husbands; thus, making them pay for everything in the home.

    As a wife, don’t keep your money for the purpose of buying the latest clothes, shoes and headgear in town only. You turn yourself into a prostitute when you give your husband your body, but cannot give him your money. Money has never been a source of tension in our home. Even while I was earning a few hundreds of Naira a month, I found it easy to kneel down and present all my salary to my husband. He never had to coerce or force me to do so; I saw it as the wisdom of God.

    For the home to enjoy peace, both the man and the woman must be open. There should be no occasion to hide anything from each other. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Genesis 2:25). The word “naked” in the above scripture means ‘openness’. If a couple is open to each other, shame will be eroded from their home, thereby creating a peaceful atmosphere.

    There are quite a number of partners in the home who hide several things from their spouses.  Even some Christians do! Some believe it is an insult for a wife/husband to know their income. So, they keep their money where their spouse would not know, pretending that they have nothing on them. Openness also involves your finances!  If your wife does not know your income for instance, she may be expecting too much from you, which may cause instability in your home.  When it comes to money, many believers are affected. Some hide certain information about their relations, background, plans and prospects. Whatever information you know will make your spouse to be disappointed in you if he/she hears it from elsewhere, should be made known on time, else you are playing a game of hide-and-seek . Funny enough, whether you like it or not, it will be discovered one day.

    Lack of peace in homes today is caused by certain things that were kept away from the other party, but were later discovered. If you don’t want shame in your home, don’t play hide-and-seek.  Be straight-forward and be open!

    My husband and I have been married for quite some years now and to the glory of God, I have never had to hide anything from him about my life, relatives, finances or plans; neither does he hide anything from me. This has made life interesting and exciting for us. You can enjoy the same fulfillment in your home. I release that grace upon you and your home right now; receive it in Jesus’ name!

    The grace to support your spouse in every realm only comes by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. That is what being born again is all about. If you are set for this, say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

     

  • Two alone makes a home (1)

    Dear Reader, happy new month! I believe from the last teaching on God’s Ultimate Desire for your Marriage, you have begun to practically walk in all that was discussed and your family is experiencing daily, God’s original purpose for marriage. It is my prayer that from your engagement of all that you read in this column this year, your family will experience the best of God.

    We are in the last days; and we understand from scriptures that God always reserves the best for the last (John 2:10). As such, it is expected that your marriage and family experience the best in these last days if you subscribe to God’s prescriptions for family life.

    To this effect, this month, I will be discussing on a very vital key to experiencing blissful moments in your home. I shall be teaching on how: Two Alone Make A Home.

    A home is instituted when a man and a woman, known as husband and wife, who share common goals and values, have a long-term commitment to one another, and come together in marriage. It is the agreement and commitment of two people (a man and a woman) before they are joined as husband and wife, to become one flesh, and together rule in earthly dominion.

    In God’s own design, two people alone make a home in marriage, The Word of God says: For this cause shall a man leave his father… and cleave to his wife (Mark 10:7). A home is created at the coming together of only two people, not more. My husband says that when they are more than two, it becomes a house! I believe this is true! This implies that the practice of polygamy, that is marrying more than one wife, is a slight on God’s design for marriage.

    A man and a woman are designed to become one flesh. This is a heavenly arithmetic and we all know that the force of unity is powerful and is supposed to affect all realms of life – spirit, soul and body. Spiritually, they should belong to the same spiritual kingdom. In the realm of the soul, they should be able to think and speak in one accord. Physically, they should be able to freely share their bodies together for procreation and pleasure.

    The importance of the concept of oneness in marriage cannot be over-emphasized. The Bible declares that it is good and pleasant for brethren to dwell together in unity (Psalm 133:1). If it is good for brethren to dwell together in unity, it is certainly better for a couple to be united. When unity exists between a couple, tremendous power is made available and the impossible becomes possible to them. The Bible says:  And the Lord said, behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do (Genesis 11:6).

    This is the force of unity at work. If a couple is truly united in spirit, soul and body, nothing will be impossible unto them. It is the original concept of God in marriage that couples enjoy the benefits of oneness. The concept of oneness teaches the believer so many lessons. Firstly, if you are truly one with your spouse, you will treat him/her as yourself. The Bible says: For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it… (Ephesians 5:29).

    If you, for any reason, hate your spouse, it is a sign that you are not united with him/her.  Whatever you cannot do to yourself, you will not do to your spouse. An understanding of this will chase away selfishness from the homes. It will put an end to fighting and misunderstanding. Do unto your spouse the way you want your spouse to do unto you.

    Secondly, the concept of oneness will make it easy for a husband and a wife to share their bodies freely with one another. It will also make it possible to derive a greater degree of pleasure from their physical union, which is their procreative power. If this concept is understood and followed, it will reduce the problem experienced in the home today to the barest minimum.

    Thirdly, the concept of oneness teaches that divorce is not part of God’s programme for the home. The husband in the home is likened to the head, while the wife is likened to the body.  Even in the physical, you don’t separate the head from the body, or else it will result in death. The Word of God says: …And they twain shall be one flesh… (Matthew 19:5-6).  God’s concept is that you do not put asunder what God has joined together.

    Jesus was teaching on the subject of divorce in Matthew 19:3-12.  He particularly noted that no one should put asunder what God has joined together, not even the couples themselves. God hates putting away, divorce and every violent act against one’s spouse in marriage. Since marriage is a life commitment, divorce should not be considered as an option to settle problems in marriage. God’s Word is more than enough to handle any situation in your home and in any area of your life.

    However, the first access to the revelation of the Word that impacts in all areas of life, comes with being born again; accepting God’s presence in your life and home. The Lord’s presence in your home is the first step to peace. Allow Jesus to come into your heart now and your story will change. You become born again by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus Christ as the Lord and Saviour of your life and family. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

    Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • How to have a successful courtship (4)

    How to have a successful courtship (4)

    Dear Reader,

    To have a successful courtship, I have been able to show you the keys to operate, the length of courtship, the forbidden fruits and how to have a proper marriage. Today, I want to “Show You the Right Purpose for Living.”

    Many are living without purpose. But some of those that have purpose are simply living without the right one. The question is: What are you living for? As a youth, single or married, what is your purpose in life? The Bible says: Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding… (Psalm 32:9). What is your essence of living? Why are you on the surface of this earth? The family, we know fully well, makes the Church, the nation and networks the entire world. What does God require of you in order to have a fulfilled life? Let’s see into the mind of God, the right purpose for living.

    And now, Israel, what doth the Lord thy God require of thee, but to fear the Lord thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul (Deuteronomy 10:12). This is what God requires of every member of the family.

    As a youth, single or the head of the home, on who rests the responsibility of ensuring a godly family, what is your focus? Do you have the fear of the Lord? Do you teach your children so? As a wife and mother, are you not living for things? Are you not pre-occupied with what to eat and wear? Do these not take every part of your thought and daily living? Do you have time to seek out of the Book of the law to know God’s requirement for you and those He has put in your care? What are you living for, woman? You must get your priorities right this year, if you are to actually see and enjoy the glory that God has promised His children. It is not for the butter-and-bread seeking Christians, but for those who will care to live by every Word that proceeds out of the mouth of God (Matthew 4:4).

    What Are These Requirements?

    Fear The Lord Thy God

    ‘Fear,’ in this context, is not being afraid. It connotes respect and reverence to God and His Word. Whatever He says, let it be your guiding principle, this year and beyond. As a man, and the head in the home, if you will walk in the understanding that you have a Head (God), who watches over you and your doings you will hold Him in reverence and respect. Whatever He tells you to do; you will do without questions or grumbling.

    As a wife, even though you have your husband as the head of your home but you know that God is your ultimate head; you will respect His commandments. Rather than seeing yourself as being subjected to your husband alone, see yourself as obeying the commandments of God through your husband. This is the fear of the Lord. The Word of God says: Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man (Ecclesiastes 12:13).

    Walk In All His Ways

    You cannot walk in God’s ways, unless you respect and reverence Him. When He says, “Turn to the right,” you don’t turn to the left. When He commands you to wait, you don’t get impatient and move.

    Love God

    This is the first commandment and God requires your love. Love Him through your actions towards your spouse, children and those around you.

    Serve Him

    God does not only require you to fear, love and walk with Him, He also requires you to serve Him. How? Serve Him with your heart, means and time. You can’t genuinely serve somebody you don’t love. When your love is in place for God, you will willingly serve Him with your being. Friends, now that you have an idea of God’s requirements, are you living for the right purpose? The Bible says in Lamentation 3:40: Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the Lord.

    Living for the right purpose makes for fulfilment. Otherwise, the struggle will continue. God only guides those who obey Him. He hates insults. He says He will only turn to you if you turn to Him. If you don’t want to be a wanderer on the earth, let His requirements be your desires. He wants all your struggles and frustrations to come to an end this year, so He has made His requirements plain to you. If He is truly your Father, then you will obey Him and obtain rest for your soul. See Malachi 1:6; Psalms 111:10; Proverbs 9:10. It doesn’t matter how much fame or possession you may have, the Bible says you are as a foolish man, until the fear of God abides in your heart. When you refuse to obey God, you are as well saying He does not matter to you. This is dangerous, because the Bible says in Psalm 53:1 that such a person is corrupt and has done abominably. You can imagine the consequences. This shall not be your portion.

    In addition, when you fear God, men fear you, circumstances and mountains bow to you. My husband, Bishop David Oyedepo, once quoted Martin Luther Junior. As saying “If a man has no purpose for living, he is not fit to live.” It is not enough to have a purpose for living, but much more, to have the right purpose. The right purpose is to fear, love, walk with God and serve Him. If you apply yourself to this truth, you will be fit to live.

    Without salvation, you cannot perform these requirements.  Are you ready to be born again? Say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    Congratulations, you are now born again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Renewing your marital relationship (3)

    Renewing your marital relationship (3)

    Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom

    Dear Reader,

    For the past few weeks, I have showed you how you can renew your marital relationship, by having good expectations and building intimacy. By the grace of God, this week, I will be discussing a few guidelines on intimacy.  My focus will be on Types of Intimacy.

    Intimacy is the close relationship between you and your spouse: emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually etc. Intimacy is not an end, but rather a journey that lasts throughout your marriage.

    Intimacy can have different meanings for men and women. However, all human beings have the basic need to be intimate and close with another person. Women are often portrayed as having a desire for emotional intimacy, while men are portrayed as only having a desire for sexual intimacy. However, intimacy can take many forms, including the following:

    Emotional intimacy

    This is the closeness created through sharing feelings. Here, the couple is able to share personal feelings. They are able to trust one another, and feel safe and secure with each other.

    Emotions can be described as strong instinctive feelings. Women generally understand emotions better than men. The first step to emotional awareness is to pay attention to your feelings, identify them, and think of possible reasons for them. Work on noticing the differences between strong emotions, such as terror and fury, and the differences between more subtle emotions such as anxiety, insecurity and irritation.

    Emotional intimacy occurs when people understand what they are feeling, convey that to each other and express understanding or concern on the feelings to each other.

    Mental or intellectual intimacy

    Marriage has a cognitive and planning dimension, which includes sharing thoughts about life, making plans together and discussing goals. It also involves a mutual understanding about all the important issues in marriage. Setting goals together is one of the ways to further intellectual intimacy. For example, you might set goals to improve your intimacy.

    Spiritual intimacy

    Marriage has a spiritual and philosophical dimension which includes, sharing spiritual and religious attitudes, behaviours, beliefs and life experiences. This involves sharing religious beliefs and observing religious practices together, such as praying and attending church services. As you share spiritual experiences, you will become united in your attitudes and goals. Spiritual intimacy grows when couples become active in a church where they can learn, grow, and serve God together.

    Recreational & Social Intimacy

    This is enjoying activities together, like running, golfing, or reading. Watching a TV programme or preparing a meal together can be good ways to build recreational intimacy. Marriage has a social dimension in which the partners enjoy doing things together and spending time together.

    Financial or monetary intimacy

    The fiscal dimension of marriage deals with decisions and actions concerning earning a living and spending money. This comes with discussing and sharing your finances with each other.

    Sexual intimacy

    Husband and wife share their physical love for each other, by sharing their bodies and physically becoming one. This is one of the most important dimensions of healthy marital intimacy. Healthy sexual intimacy includes sexual frequency that both partners are satisfied with, sexual activities both partners enjoy, and an open dialogue about sex. Someone once said, “A major strength for happily married couples is the quality of their sexual relationship”.

    The (Different) Meaning of Physical Affection to Men and Women

    Both men and women share the basic need to be intimate. However, from both sexual and emotional standpoints, there are basic differences. Typically, men and women enter into marriage with different beliefs and expectations about giving and receiving affection. Having a basic understanding of such differences is important to avoid misunderstanding, frustrations, and anger.

    It’s been said that, naturally, men give love and commitment, in order to get physical affection and sex. Women give physical affection and sex, in order to get commitment and love. It might also be said that men usually hunger for sex, while women hunger for romance. Men basically give and receive love to fulfill their physical needs; while women essentially give and receive love to fulfill their emotional needs.

    Often, women need to feel loved and nurtured, before they begin to be aroused and develop desire for sexual intimacy. For women, emotional intimacy is at least as important as the act of sexual intercourse.

    Men often need to be sexually aroused, before they can truly feel and express love. It’s through sexual activity that men are emotionally and physically fulfilled. Sexual activity often enables men to become aware of their wives’ need for love and emotional support.

    Unless partners understand such differences between men and women, it can be difficult or frustrating for them to find common ground, on which their emotional and physical desires can be fulfilled. Understanding each other’s feelings and expectations regarding intimacy (in all its dimensions) and being intimate, is the key.

    Until you are a child of God, you cannot benefit from what has just been discussed. To be born again entails confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord.  If you are ready to be born again, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, congratulations, you are born again and you are now a child of God! He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name!  Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Renewing your marital relationship

    Renewing your marital relationship

    As single persons, what do you expect in marriage? Your expectations shall not be cut off! Before my husband and I got married, we made discoveries from God’s Word that made us expect a hitch-free marriage 

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome to this glorious and exciting moment in God’s presence. As you pay rapt attention to God’s Word today, His hands shall rest upon your marriage.

    This month, we shall be looking at this all-important subject, Renewing Your Marital Relationship. To renew your marital relationship, one of the things that must be in place is your Expectation. One key factor for the miraculous is expectation. It is your expectation that gets fulfilled. Every man sets a stage for his miracle. Do you totally and truly believe God? Or do you doubt Him in your heart saying, “I tried everything, but nothing worked. I never saw anything. I am tired. I don’t think it will work.”

    Don’t be offended in God; the fact that you still have the breath of life is something to be grateful for. Instead, express your mind to God.  Say, “Lord God, I know You are forever faithful. Thank You that I am still alive today to approach You on issues I couldn’t achieve last year. Thank you for the promise of a glorious and fulfilling year. I know You will do it.”

    Forget about those old things that are bygones! God will do a new thing in your family, this year, which will make you thank Him every day.  God is set, but you have to be set too.  However, to be set, you must determine to do some things, especially, if you desire a successful home this month and beyond.

    Husband, can you see a turnaround in the character of your wife? Can you see your children obedient and God-fearing? Can you see abundance of peace, joy and harmony in your home? Wife, what do you see? Do you see your husband turning from his sinful habits to pleasing God this month and beyond? Do you see his business succeeding, thereby enabling him provide more for the family? Can you see serenity in your home? As far as you can see, it shall be given to you as it is only what you see that you can possess.

    Stop seeing the negative side of issues. Stop seeing your business going down, because of economic meltdown. Stop deducing reasons why you think things won’t work out well in your family. Stop celebrating failure. Believe God and let it be counted to you for righteousness. If God has said what He will do, let it be settled in your heart and in your actions, that He will do it. He is not a liar!

    Many years ago, I made up my mind to believe God’s Word in Proverbs 4:18. I have never had cause to doubt it. No previous year has been better than the current one for me and my family. In fact, my present position today is the least I can ever be. God is ever faithful. Friend, see good and you shall have good. See no lack around you this year, and you shall walk in abundance. God will see to it that His Word does not fall to the ground in your own life. Choose to believe God and you will have no occasion to regret.

    See with your eyes of faith. Walk by faith and not by sight. Don’t determine the happenings in your home this year by the environment. See into the plans of God for your life and family, and assure yourself of the best of times ahead.

    Someone once came to me for counselling, and had been having a very tough time in her marriage.  As she spoke, I discovered that the root cause of her problems was her wrong ideas about marriage.  She had expected grief and calamity. So, when the storms rose against her marriage, she began to say, “They told me it will be like this.”

    You must first desire a tower, before you can plan to build one.  Don’t enter into marriage without an expectation. The Word of God says:  For surely there is an end; and your expectation shall not be cut off (Proverbs 23:18). What you expect is what you will get.  God’s servant, Bishop Oyedepo would always say, “Expectation is the mother of manifestation.”

    God has promised to grant your expectations, no matter the situations around you. So, let your expectations be based on God’s Word, for it is higher than any evil experience or information you may have had or heard about marriage.

    If you are already married, there is still an opportunity for you to change all your negative expectations.  As a couple, discuss your positive expectations and I guarantee that things will work out more smoothly in your home.

    As single persons, what do you expect in marriage? Your expectations shall not be cut off! Before my husband and I got married, we made discoveries from God’s Word that made us expect a hitch-free marriage. Till today, those expectations have not been cut off.  If you expect the best, it will be yours!

    A right expectation begins with being connected to God.  You get connected by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. That is what being born again is all about. If you are ready to be born again, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, congratulations, you are born again and you are now a child of God! He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Rekindling the fire of love in your Marriage! (5)

    Rekindling the fire of love in your Marriage! (5)

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome to another exciting time in the presence of the Lord. Love, like I said last week, is the key factor that sustains a Christian marriage. But could it still be, considering the fact that the hot romance in your relationship is fading away, and it’s becoming a concern to you?

    That is why, this week, it is necessary for me to share with you the basic idea that will help you to rekindle that “fire of love” in your marriage. That is what I call Good and Healthy Romance!

    A healthy romance between a husband and wife makes for a healthy marriage relationship. Romance is a great facilitator of a successful marriage. When marriage stops being romantic, it starts to suffer devastation. The moment you stop desiring your spouse, you are already falling apart from each other. At that point, there is the need for a rekindling. Unfortunately, however, this is where many Christians run into problems.

    Paul speaking in the Book of 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 says: Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

    From the above verses of the Bible, “rendering due benevolence” means to give one another the benefit of marriage, which is your body. God placed in man a sexual desire, which should only be satisfied in marriage. That way, the desire will not be destructive.

    But the big question is: why have so many couples denied themselves of this truth? This is where, I believe, some Christians have opened the door to trouble in their marriages.  The man is not available for his wife, so she looks somewhere else. The wife is not available for the man, so he goes somewhere else, because the burning must be satisfied.

    The Bible says you mustn’t allow your abstinence go beyond a time. Nobody fasts for one year.  Even Jesus, the Messiah of the world, only fasted 40 days.  The significance of this is that you are not permitted, under whatever reason, to separate from each other for more than 40 days maximum, lest satan tempts you.

    To tell your wife today, “I am waiting on the Lord”, tomorrow, “I am waiting on the Lord”, next week, “I am waiting on the Lord.” When you finish ‘waiting’, you may not find her there again. That is why most crises in marriages, today, develop out of sexual tension.

    Romance in marriage is one of the areas you must intelligibly manage, because it reinforces the marriage covenant. Take time out with your spouse to go for a dinner date or a picnic in a secluded area away from home. Catch some fun with each other occasionally, like going to the beach or watching programmes of choice alone together. Create time for each other to reminisce happy moments; this will help to spice up a lukewarm marriage.

    Having the fear of God resident will also help you spice up your marriage with good romance, instead of finding satisfaction outside the marriage. You can operate in the fear of God cheaply, if you have accepted Christ as your Lord and personal Saviour. Peradventure you haven’t, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship(John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • 23rd annual Teenage Festival of Life holds today

    23rd annual Teenage Festival of Life holds today

    Young people from public secondary schools across Lagos State will showcase the realities of child marriage in Nigeria using songs, poetry and drama to advocate for the elimination of Child marriage in the country on November 12th, 2016 at the 23rd Annual Teenage Festival of Life (TFL).

    TFL was initiated by Action Health Incorporated (AHI) in 1993 with the aim of bridging communication gap between young people and adults and also to serve as an enabling forum where young people and relevant stakeholders meet to both identify the plights faced by them. This year, the event is focused on creating awareness on the issue of child marriage, its prevalence in Nigeria, impact – effects on the child bride, community and national development.

    Child marriage is recognized internationally as a violation of the human rights of girls and despite laws against it, the practice still remains widespread. In Nigeria, 43% of girls are married before their 18th birthday and 17% are married before they turn 15. The prevalence of child marriage varies widely from one region to another, with figures as high as 76% in the North West region and 10% in the South East.

    These child brides are burdened with responsibilities as wives and mothers with little support, resources, or life experience to meet these challenges. Furthermore, girls’ rights, health and development are undermined by the impact of early marriage, including pregnancy and early childbearing which impacts on their mortality and morbidity. There are also outcomes of early termination of their schooling which limits human capital and their future productivity which of course affects the lives of their children and families.

    This year theme “Ending Child Marriage”; is one of the priority areas under “Ending Gender Inequality” Goal 5 of the 17 Global Goals for Sustainable Development. Ending Child Marriage not only achieves gender equality but translates to the fulfilment of other priority areas such as Ending Poverty, Achieving Education for All, and other goals. This, therefore, calls for urgent steps to eradicate the practice in Nigeria through policies and innovative ideas that must be implemented.

    This event will have in attendance as the special guest government officials from Lagos State Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation, Ministry of Education, Ministry of Health, UNFPA, the Tutor General/Permanent secretaries of all the Education districts in Lagos state, teachers and students of secondary schools in Lagos as well as the Executive Director of Action Health Incorporated Mrs. Adenike Esiet. Also in attendance as the celebrity artist of the day is Aramide, winner of best female artist Afrima 2016.

  • ‘How rise in dollar rate improves local content’

    ‘How rise in dollar rate improves local content’

    Mojisola Opasanya is the MD/CEO of MO Daises, a T-shirt making and customizing outfit. A former manager with the  Nigerian Breweries, Opasanya speaks with ADEWOYIN ADENIYI about the positive aspects of the rise in the rate of the dollar and other issues. Excerpts:

    How long have you been into printing and design business?

    We just started it last year. In that one year, we have actually worked for a lot of multi-nationals, and right now you know the situation of dollars so people are actually looking at the local content. More productions are happening within the country.

    And not just T-shirts, we also customize anything you want including mugs; we do all manner of printing. Our unique selling point is that we source directly from factories in and out of Nigeria, because for companies, you have to match their phantom colours . You give us what you want and we match your phantom colour, you don’t have to make do with what you don’t want. We can also come up with designs to be unique for you and your company alone so you don’t have to have a general design.

    In what ways is the rise in the rate of dollars affecting your business?

    Well, there are two sides to a coin. The positive side is the fact that people are now looking inward because it is difficult to get T-shirts. People are importing and sometimes it’s very tough to get and when you get, it its expensive. I’m not saying that ours is cheap either but when you get it, it’s expensive, and it might not even suit the colour that you want. It has helped in such a way that it’s bringing more customers. Ordinarily, companies that wouldn’t want to produce in Nigeria are now being forced to go with the option of the local content and these are companies that in the past would tell you, ‘no we don’t want Nigeria; but now they are just left with no option but to produce here in Nigeria.

    But on the other side, there is no market that operates on its own, when you go to the market to buy the things that you need they are also very expensive that’s why I can’t say it’s cheap on the side either because prices of materials keep going up.

    Does that mean you get all your materials in Nigeria?

    I have my contacts in China where I also go for exhibitions, so I can source for materials in China as well as here in Nigeria but you really can’t determine your dollars rate. If I give you a quotation this morning and by the time I go to get things done, dollar might have gone twice higher but you have signed on that so it’s not your business how I get it that’s why people are playing it down on the importation part of things because you can’t afford to be caught in that.

    There is a local company that produces thread in Nigeria but once dollar increases by one naira, they increase by hundred naira, dollar increases by ten naira they increase by five hundred naira. Another thing that has affected us is the gas pipeline explosion that has been going on because they use gas for production and for like two to three months now it was really tough but we thank God now they are using black oil and that also resulted in price increase.

    This is a year down the line and you are doing well in your chosen line of business, what inspired this business? Were you into tailoring before?

    As a Christian, I put God first in everything because that’s the only way, especially when it comes to life decisions. Things like your career and what you do are very important to be brought before God. I was actually a manager in Nigerian Breweries, I resigned and after my resignation I knew I wanted to be on my own not to look for another job and that was why I resigned to start my own even though I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do but I started with branding.

    After retirement, I got my office and said we are going to start doing this, you will see that this is an industry where we have lots of people so if you don’t have your own unique selling point then you are like the regular jack out there, I wanted a specialization because I believe that everybody should have something they specialize in so when a very big garment company that was operating in Nigeria folded up last year I was fortunate to have visited their factory like two weeks before that time and I saw the factory. I was impressed , up until that time, I had never thought about it because that came at a time I was praying and asking God for something that I would specialize on not just a general thing and my spirit confirmed it immediately. Two weeks after, I was somewhere and I was informed that that company has folded up.

    Aside work, as a CEO, do you ever get time to relax?

    I’m an indoor person, but I love going to movies a lot.

  • God’s ultimate desire for your marriage (2)

    Dear Reader,

    I am grateful to God for the privilege to share God’s Word with you today. Two weeks ago, I taught you how to keep yourself pure.  Last week, I taught on divine favour. Today, I want to examine: How Abundance Is God’s Desire for You.

    The first family that ever existed was born into abundance.  The Bible says: …Male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be FRUITFUL …have dominion over fish…, …fowl… and …EVERY living thing… I have given you EVERY herb, EVERY tree to you (Genesis 1:27-29). This, as an example, tells us that abundance implies surplus, more than enough, prosperity, excess, plenty, an increase, etc. The Lord’s desire for your home is abundance. Prosperity is meant to be your portion not only in your office, Church or with friends, but most especially in your home.

    God has said concerning your home that it shall be: …A watered garden and like a spring of water whose waters fail not (Isaiah 58:11). ‘Fail not’ means you will not be short of provisions at home both spiritually and physically. Thou shalt have goats’ milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and for the maintenance for thy maidens (Proverbs 27:27). Yet, you are wondering: Why is God slow concerning His promises? Has He changed His mind concerning me? Is He angry with me? Maybe He has not forgiven me that sin I confessed to Him the other day?  Or the one committed in my youth?

    The Lord is a God of mercy and slow to anger; at the same time, He is a Holy God Whose eyes are too pure to behold sin in your life (Habakkuk 1:13). He wants your home not to only reflect increase, blessing and joy, but also holiness, righteousness, grace and peace. Both sides of the coin are necessary: you can’t have one side without the other. You can’t desire the Lord’s prosperity and increase in your home, and reject His holiness and righteousness. The Word of God says: Look unto Abraham your father, and unto Sarah that bare you: for I called him alone, and BLESSED him and INCREASED him (Isaiah 51:2).

    Abraham our father of faith enjoyed abundance and: …Was VERY RICH in cattle, in silver and in gold (Genesis 13:2). But how did the Lord bless Abraham? Did he just wake up one day to see riches, cattle, men and maid servants, etc.? No! The Lord blessed Abraham and his household because he fulfilled a major requirement. The Word of God says: …Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do. ….For I know him, that HE WILL COMMAND HIS CHILDREN  AND HIS HOUSEHOLD AFTER HIM, and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgment that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken to him  (Genesis 18:17&19).

    The Lord’s will and desire is to see you and your household swim in abundance but are you willing to fulfill the requirements? That is, will you command your children and household to follow the Lord or will you turn away from God when abundance arrives? God can’t afford to bless some men financially because they will just use the money to acquire more wives and begin to do things that cause their household to turn from God. It was Abraham’s diligence in commanding his children (household) in God’s ways that secured abundance for him and generations after. He was not only an example of what the Lord required, because God was able to say, “I know him; He will make sure everyone follows his example. In your home, can you boldly say others can follow your lifestyle? Can they look at how you live and see God’s glory, holiness and commendation? If you can’t answer this questions positively then something is wrong somewhere. Don’t be too quick to say, “Yes.” Instead, closely examine your lifestyle. Can you tell the little children at home to follow your example and God will be pleased with them?  The Lord knew Abraham was able to do this. From the above passage, the Lord reveals something vital to us. “…That the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him” (Genesis 18:19).

    The fervency which Abraham gave to conduct his life and household according to God’s Word, determined how much of God’s abundance and prosperity he enjoyed. It was Abraham’s diligence in applying God’s Word that secured God’s blessings and abundance for him. You need to follow the instructions you have heard God speak concerning your home, your family, your marriage, your parents, etc, before you can see his promises come true in your life. For almost every instruction God gives, there is a reward; and for almost every reward or promise of God, there is a responsibility.

    Abundance in your family life is the Lord’s desire for you.  However, it must be accompanied by a God-fearing lifestyle not only for you, but also everyone under your roof. Note: There is no success without a successor.

    Abundance in the home is not just financial wealth. You can have all the money in the world and still not be prosperous. Also, you can have all the children, furniture and possessions you want, but still lack true prosperity.

    You may ask: How do I enjoy abundance in my home? The Lord Jesus said: The thief comes only in order that he may steal and may kill and may destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in ABUNDANCE to the full, till it overflows (John10:10 Amp). The Lord’s presence in your heart and home is the first step to abundance. Allow Jesus to come into your heart now and your story will change. Say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • God’s ultimate desire for your marriage (2)

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome to this exciting column in Jesus’ name! I told you last week that one of God’s ultimate desires for you is to keep yourself pure. Today, I will be teaching on Divine Favour as God’s Ultimate Desire for You.

    Marriage is a function of God’s favour. Once your marriage is fashioned according to God’s prescriptions in His Word, you procure His favour, and once that favour is there, it is irreversible. The Word of God says: Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). Marriage is a function of God’s favour. Even men are compelled to favour you, because the Bible says that when a man’s ways please the Lord, He causes even his enemies to be at peace with him. God’s favour is the maker of men. When you secure His favour, you progress and succeed effortlessly in life. Success in life and marriage is not a function of your smartness or connections, but a function of God’s favour, because the Bible says: The Lord maketh poor, and maketh rich: he bringeth low, and lifteth up. He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory: for the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, and he hath set the world upon them (1 Samuel 2:7-8).

    The favour of God elevates you to greater heights that make you to be envied by men. When you step out, hand in hand with your partner, people see the glory of God upon you; as a result, they honour and open all manner of doors before you. The singles among them will desire to be like you, because the good hand of God upon your home will make marriage desirable to all who see you. God’s favour also secures for you a lifting and promotion in status, which also affects your financial and material prosperity. It is an established fact that society honours the married. God created marriage to give man an easy access to His favour so that he can live a “sweatless” life. This shall be your portion, in Jesus’ Name.

    Marriage generally gives you a sense of accomplishment. It is your passage from one phase of life to the other; it is a step forward that marks your progress in life. Every young man or woman has a dream or vision of the kind of home he or she would like to have. No one envisions troubles or divorce for him or herself. Everyone dreams of a joyful, peaceful and fruitful home. God created marriage for the fulfilment of these dreams and aspirations. You will not be disappointed in Jesus’ Name! If you are married and your dreams for marriage seem not to be finding fulfilment, receive grace for a new beginning as you walk in line with God’s purposes for marriage henceforth.

    The blessings of the Lord maketh rich and he added no sorrow to it (Proverbs 10:22). God’s blessings are sent to us to make us rich. However, to have the highest level of God’s blessings, you must give God the chance to be supreme in your life. He becomes supreme in your life, when you are controlled by His Words in your thoughts, decisions, speech and actions. As this is done, the favour of God is made available for you to enjoy. Your question may be: What is the favour of God?

    He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord (Proverbs 18:20). A good marriage or life partner is one of the favours God blesses His obedient children with. Does it mean that some people do not get good life partners? Yes! Quite a number of people get married wrongly and so, marriage to them becomes an agonising experience. However, it is not God’s intention for them to be wrongly married. As long as the Lord is supreme in your life and you follow His guidelines laid out for you in His Word (the Bible), then you will be able to make a right choice of a good life partner.

    If you are not born again, your marriage cannot escape difficulties and troubles. But if you will receive Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour, you will experience a great change in your life and marriage. Please say this simple prayer in faith if you are ready for this new birth experience: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.