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  • Day I had Baptism of fire in Justice Salami’s court – NBA chair Oko-Jaja

    Day I had Baptism of fire in Justice Salami’s court – NBA chair Oko-Jaja

    The Chairman of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA), Port Harcourt branch, Mr Lawrence Oko-Jaja, is an indigene of coastal Opobo, the headquarters of the Opobo/Nkoro Local Government Area of Rivers State .  Since after his youth service at the Legal Aid Council in Ilorin, Kwara State in 1986/1987, he has been in private legal practice and he is the Managing Solicitor and Head of Chambers of Lawrence S. Oko-Jaja and Co,  Port Harcourt. In this interview with BISI OLANIYI, he speaks on his baptism of fire in Justice Ayo Salami’s high court in Ilorin; how he survived the civil war and says understanding and communication are the secrets of his successful marriage. Excerpts:

    How does it feel to be NBA Chairman in Port Harcourt branch, with so many Senior Advocates of Nigeria (SANs) and other eminent lawyers?

    It is very exciting and challenging. When you consider that we are almost hitting four thousand in our membership, with 14 SANs in Port Harcourt branch. Out of the number, we have a past National President of the NBA. The 19th President of the NBA, O.C.J. Okocha, SAN, is from the branch. The current President of the NBA ,Okechukwu Wali, SAN, is also from Port Harcourt branch.

    It is quite challenging when you have to deal with 4,000 highly-educated, enlightened and learned lawyers as members of a branch of the NBA, including 14 SANs, coming from various backgrounds with various problems, ranging from personal to professional and, of course, the organisational problem of having to deal with such number of persons.

    There is also the administrative challenge. We have our Law Centre (within the Rivers State High Court Complex, Port Harcourt) fully manned by workers and they take their salaries from the NBA, Port Harcourt branch. How to manage the resources to meet up all these activities of the NBA is challenging. Every programme of our branch, we raise funds from our members which is also a bit of a challenge. When such funds are in respect of activities that will cover 4,000 persons, the amount of money needed is quite huge.

    The excitement is that you have the benefit of speaking one-on-one with past and incumbent national presidents of the NBA. There is the opportunity to meet a cross-section of the members of the NBA at the top echelon. There is also the ability to travel from place to place, especially to know the branches of the NBA and knowing Nigeria better.

    You said funds for the branch’s activities are raised from members of the NBA. What of assistance from government, corporate organisations and friends of legal practitioners?

    Friends of lawyers in Port Harcourt branch of the NBA and corporate organisations have been assisting us. We had the benefit of sourcing funds from the Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC) in respect of the Law Centre’s library and the Greater Port Harcourt City Development Authority for the website we want to create and the training of our younger colleagues and computerising our Secretarial Department.

    During conferences of the International Bar Association (IBA), the Rivers State Government always assists members to ensure attendance. While constructing the Law Centre of the NBA, Port Harcourt branch, the Rivers State government assisted us with funds. I cannot remember the exact figure because it did not take place in my administration. The three other branches of the NBA in Rivers State (Ahoada, Isiokpo and the latest Bori inaugurated in 2011) are also supported by the Rivers State government, especially the vehicles we use. The administration of Rt. Hon. Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi has been so supportive, but it is not the government’s responsibility to fund the NBA.

    You must bear in mind that we need to fuel and maintain the vehicles, as well as pay the salaries of the drivers and other workers at the Law Centre and also maintain the secretariat, particularly the renovation which we are about to go into.

    In order to maintain some level of independence, we do not need to go every time to beg government officials for money or favour. Rivers State government donating buses to the NBA branches in the state is not peculiar to Rivers. If you go to other states, the same thing is applicable.

    Of the four branches of the NBA in Rivers State, why is Port Harcourt branch the most vibrant?

    Let me use the word dominant because the other branches: Ahoada, Isiokpo and Bori,were created out of Port Harcourt branch. In everything we do, we carry them along. There is synergy among the four branches.

    The 26th President of the NBA, Okechukwu Wali (SAN), a former Rivers State Attorney-General and Commissioner for Justice, is from Port Harcourt branch. What impact has that made and what is your branch expecting during his tenure?

    His election as the NBA President has put Port Harcourt branch of the NBA on the spotlight. We have 100 branches of the NBA, and Port Harcourt branch, being the branch where the president comes from, needs to be up and doing in all its activities and programmes, as well as support the national NBA in all its endeavours.

    The coming into office of Okey Wali, SAN, has impacted positively on Port Harcourt branch, and we must strive to meet the expectations of the other 99 branches. We also have the privilege of having the current NBA president domiciled in Port Harcourt and he is within easy reach.

    If there is any need for me to call on the president of the NBA, I do not need to travel to Abuja, Lagos or wherever. All I need to do is to book an appointment with him in Port Harcourt and I will be able to see him.

    It also comes with certain responsibilities. It means that Port Harcourt branch of the NBA must support all the activities of the national NBA and participate fully, even at great inconvenience and at short notice to us, so that we will not be seen not to support the president.

    Your branch of the NBA has just celebrated Law Week, with Rivers State Chief Judge, Justice Iche Ndu, who was represented by Justice Peter Agumagu, the President of the Customary Court of Appeal in Rivers State, urging lawyers to fight for the independence of the judiciary and its financial autonomy, thereby ensuring speedy dispensation of justice, with welfare of judges enhanced. Have you taken up the challenge, since judges cannot speak for themselves?

    The independence of the judiciary cannot be compromised because when other things fail, it is the judiciary that everybody will look up to. The judiciary must at all times remain independent. Like ministers in the temple of justice, the judges cannot speak for themselves. Lawyers must speak on behalf of the judges. Judiciary must have some level of financial autonomy, so that they can cater for their peculiar needs.

    Whether a judge is independent or not, it depends on the judge. If a judge knows the law and he is not corrupt, chances are that he will be independent in passing judgment. When a judge does not know the law adequately or influenced for one reason or the other, there is the tendency for him to lose his independence and dispense justice, according to the influence that is pervading around him at that material point in time.

    It is very important that while we are advocating financial autonomy and independence of the judiciary, the judges themselves should also be independent-minded in the discharge of their duties.

    Do you agree that most people resort to self-help and take law into their own hands, since the courts waste time?

    I agree to some extent that the delay in the administration of justice may give room for such tendency, but we also know that man is inherently wicked. Unless there is punishment for crimes, some people, whether because there is delay in the administration of justice or not, will take law into their own hands.

    During the Law Week of Port Harcourt branch of the NBA, most lawyers disagreed with Rivers State Governor, Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi, who was represented by his Attorney-General and Commissioner for Justice, Worgu Boms, one of your predecessors, on abuse of human rights by Rivers State government agencies, task forces and law enforcement agents. How do you react to this?

    It is a very thorny issue. The mode of operation of some of the agencies was condemned by the lawyers. One of the SANs, Sebastine Tar Hon, was of the view that the task forces or agencies do not have the right to impose levies and collect fines.

    My view about the issue is that instead of imposing fines on offenders, the officials of the government or law enforcement agents should charge the persons to court. Officials of the TIMA-RIV (Rivers State Road Traffic Management Authority) go beyond imposing fines, by impounding vehicles, deflate the tyres, keep the vehicles on their premises, lock the vehicles and collect the keys which they will not release until you pay the fines or the court discharges you.

    There are civilised ways of doing that. You can collect the vehicles’ particulars and charge the offenders to court or the fine can be paid into the escrow account with the vehicle released. If the offender’s position is supported by the court, then he will have his money back.

    The things that TIMA-RIV’s officials do in Rivers State are not obtainable outside Nigeria. There are civilised ways of doing things.

    Can you let the readers know some of your pleasant and horrible experiences in law practice?

    I was called to the Bar in Lagos in 1986, having graduated from the Rivers State University of Science and Technology (RSUST), Port Harcourt in 1985. I served in 1987 at the Legal Aid Council in Ilorin, Kwara State and attached to the Ilorin chambers of Adegboyega Awomolo, now a SAN. Yusuf Alli, also a SAN now, was there with us and was our immediate boss who was taking us though law practice.

    I had a horrible experience as a young lawyer the first time I appeared in court in Ilorin. It was a matter I was asked to go and take a date. It was at a high court presided over by Justice Ayo Salami (the suspended President of the Court of Appeal). Imagine a youth corps member who knew nothing about the matter, but I was told to go on.

    I read the endorsement/front page of the file which would give an idea of what it is all about, but to read the content and follow what happened was tasking. Justice Salami then gave me one hour. I managed to go ahead and came back to the court after one hour, but shivering. It was a baptism of fire.

    Like every other profession, law also has its ups and downs. One of the downs involves a lawyer travelling from Port Harcourt to Lagos or other distant places for a matter only for the court not to sit, but would have wasted time, money and energy. That is why the issue of applying technology in the legal profession is imperative.

    One of the pleasant experiences was a land case, coming from my area (Opobo). The elders had looked into the matter, but one of the parties refused. The king and some members of his cabinet also looked into the matter. Still, the same party refused and we had to go to court.

    After a long while, my client won. It was found that the land being claimed did not belong to him. I was highly excited because it tested, to some extent, the arbitration procedure of my place. The unfortunate aspect of it was that the house had to be pulled down, but all the same, it is a learning process.

    Now, by the grace of God, I have five other lawyers in my chambers. I am not into partnership. Young lawyers do not seem to be patient. They place money first. I have practised law for 26 years. Within the first three years, after being called to the Bar, a lawyer is of little use in the chambers, although there are exceptions. When they come out of the law school or youth service, they do not have the experience.

    That is why we have these one- room chambers without books, but will want to survive at all costs, thereby becoming charge-and-bail lawyers. Definitely this is not healthy for the profession of law. It is time to bring back tutelage of between three and five years. The menace of fake lawyers is also worrisome.

    Trust and absence of greed are essential for a successful partnership. Surprisingly, when I went to the Commonwealth Lawyers’ Association Conference, I had the opportunity of speaking with a young advocate from Kenya who had just qualified and she said she was absorbed in a small law firm with 100 lawyers. I quickly changed the subject because I cannot see any Nigerian law firm having up to 60 lawyers. Perhaps there may be, but will not be more than one or two.

    Many of your friends are now SANs. Are you working towards becoming one?

    In any profession or business, from time to time, there is need for self-assessment or self- examination which I do regularly with a view to rendering better services to my clients and to be acquainted with the latest developments in law, thereby acquiring the relevant materials for the chambers in terms of books and ICT components, among others, which will put one in good stead towards the attainment of the exalted rank of the SAN. I am working towards becoming a SAN. It is an honour and a privilege.

    I have been having cases at the Supreme Court and other courts, as well as the National Industrial Court (NIC). Let me use this opportunity to say that we are very grateful to the President of the NIC for deeming it fit to establish a division of the NIC in Port Harcourt. Even though that division has not fully taken off, we are hopeful that in 2013, it will surely take off.

    We have to thank the NIC president because we had to make a representation to him and he graciously acceded to our request to establish the NIC in Port Harcourt. It was not the efforts of the NBA, Port Harcourt branch alone, the office of the Rivers State Attorney-General and Commissioner for Justice also assisted. The state’s chief judge also provided a space within the high court complex in Port Harcourt for its take-off. The second panel of the Court of Appeal in Port Harcourt will soon start sitting, through collective efforts.

    How does it feel to come from Opobo, the ancient town of King Jaja, and how did you start life?

    Starting life was very rough. I was born in April 1961. There was civil war between 1967 and 1970. I had to bear the brunt as a young child. I experienced civil war first hand. I suffered from kwashiorkor. My education was interrupted in Opobo. We had to vacate Opobo for Aba and Umuahia in Abia State and some other places I cannot remember. It was quite a horrifying experience and quite challenging. I will not want Nigerians to go into any form of civil disturbance, not to talk of civil war.

    During the civil war, there were attempts for us to go back to school, but never worked out because jet fighters and bombers would come and everybody would run. I had my share of injury with the mark from a sharp object still on my left cheek. I thank God that I am alive. When I was hit by the sharp object, everybody around thought I was dead. I was ill, and I could not run like others when the “enemies” plane came and sprayed bullets.

    When my people came back from wherever they ran to, they found me in a pool of blood. They took me for dead and I was taken to a hospital and treated. You can see the scar.

    When we came back from the civil war, I had to start school all over. First at Opobo, and later at the Salvation Army Primary School, Aggrey Road, Port Harcourt. Thereafter, I proceeded to the Government Secondary School, Okporowo-Ogbakiri, now in the Emohua Local Government Area of Rivers State, for my secondary school education. I will later go for post-graduate programmes, but not in any Nigerian university because of incessant strike actions. Programme of 18 months in Nigeria, you may end up spending four years.

    I am very proud to come from Opobo and to be a great, great, great grandson of King Jaja. Anywhere I introduce myself in this country, it leaves no one in doubt of where I am coming from. I am proud of my heritage. I am one of the legal advisers to His Majesty Dandison Douglas Jaja.

    What have you learnt from your parents?

    During the civil war, my mother, also from Opobo, gave birth to my immediate younger brother and she went to her parents’ place for them to take proper care of her. She was there when the war broke out. We had to run in different directions. We later got united, but my immediate younger brother died during the war. My father died when I was in class 3 and my mother is still alive. She is a retired headmistress.

    I learnt hard work, honesty and fear of God from my parents.

    How did you meet your wife, what was the attraction and how did you propose to her?

    As a bachelor, I travelled to Opobo. I visited one of my friends and I saw this lady who came to see the wife in company with other ladies. The moment I saw her, I knew that she would be my wife. Each time she visited, she would come with many of her friends and it was difficult for me to say anything. We would just share drinks and contacts.

    Finally, it was in Port Harcourt that I proposed to her. She said she would think about it. The rest is history. My son (Lawrence) is twelve years old now and he is in JS One. My wife (Esther) is a businesswoman.

    The attraction which made me to propose to her: I found her beautiful and she is still beautiful. Very reserved. Her comportment and manners were quite appealing to me. She is very industrious. Since I married her, I had no cause to regret and we have had no quarrel. The secrets are understanding and communication. I have made her to be my friend. She is free to tell me anything at anytime and anywhere. She communicates with me like her friend. We have nothing to hide. One of the causes of tension in the family is when you keep little secrets.

    I am a Christian and an Anglican. I see the hands of God in the success of my marriage.

    Will you like any of your children to study and practise law?

    I will like my son to study and practise law, but I will not force my son or any of my children that will come later by God’s grace. With all the books in my chambers, it will be a thing of joy for other people to manage the chambers. If the persons who will take over the management of the chambers are my children, better.

  • Oritsejafor calls on Israel to facilitate easy clearance of pilgrims

    Oritsejafor calls on Israel to facilitate easy clearance of pilgrims

    The leader of the federal government delegation for the 2012 Christian pilgrimage, Pastor Ayo Oritsejafor, has called on the Israeli authorities to help in facilitating the easy and smooth clearance of Nigerian pilgrims at the Ben Gurion International Airport, Tel Aviv, Israel. He made this known in Jerusalem while meeting with the Israeli foreign affairs officials recently.

    The meeting, which was attended by other members of the federal government delegation, members of the house committee on foreign affairs and the executive secretary of the Nigerian Christian Pilgrim Commission ( NCPC), Mr John Kennedy Opara, was important in order to strengthen the entire pilgrimage exercise.

    Pastor Oritsejafor, who is also the President of the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), further canvassed for a permanent permit for Nigerian pilgrim desk officers in Israel. He equally appealed to the Israeli foreign affairs officials to reduce the visa approval period for Nigerian pilgrims from five days to three days.

    He also charged them to help in facilitating and fast- tracking the signing of the Bilateral Air Service Agreement (BASA) between Nigeria and Israel as this would reduce the stress the pilgrims go through.

    Earlier, the Israeli head of African division in the ministry, Mr Ari Granot, described the visit of the Nigerian delegation to Israel as a home visit as the country has become a second home to Nigerians who yearly come to Israel to fulfil their spiritual desires.

  • Is it ok to marry a woman 7 years older than me?

    ar A, good evening. How’re you and the family? Thanks for publishing my request on 17/11/12. Ask God to connect me to the right person. Is it ok to marry a woman 7 years older than me? Personally I don’t like it. Keep up the good job. Shalom. Rev Lucky.

    •Dear Rev. Lucky, I know so many couples whose marriages have lasted through the years and in some of the cases, the wives are older than their husbands. So, personally, I don’t frown at age difference in relationships. But it may call for alarm and concern if you want children (a must in Africa) and the woman is above child-bearing age.

    In that case, you must talk it over. I don’t know how old you are and so I cannot say if this woman who is seven years older is right for you. If you however love her and think you will be happy with her, then go ahead. May God connect you to the right person. Good luck. Shallom!

  • I don’t think I have feelings for my boyfriend

    Good day ma. My name is Joy, I am 17years old, I have a boyfriend that admire but I don’t think I have feelings for him, though he likes me.

    He is 8 years older than me and the problem is that he hardly calls nor texts till I do it myself. He is a nice guy though he works a lot but we hardly talk to each other.

    • Dear Joy, from all indications, you’re not in a relationship. First, you’re not sure of your feelings for this guy, second, he’s not helping matters y not showing he cares enough. Words of mouth alone cannot prove love, actions do. At 17, try to be preoccupied with things that will advance you in the future. Let this boy face the work he loves so much… more than he cares about you and you should face what you care about more than him too.

    From you to me

    •Aunty Adeola, it’s true you don’t know me, but only heaven can tell how much IMPACT your work is affecting lives generally, myself in particular. I cannot thank you enough. 08034065990.

    •Agoro Merry Xmas. My name is Ehi, a professional colleague of yours, based in Abuja. Kindly do me a favour. I want you to please help publish this in your column – l’m Ehi, male, 45, journalist and fromIshan in Edo state. I need a 30 to 35 year old lshan lady for marriage. She must be a qualified nurse and a good Christian, busty and butty. 08032138794.

    •Merry Xmas and Happy New Year in advance Deola. A short prayer, God will continuously bless you and all your expectations God will grantthem on time. A fan of your column. 07037497326.

    •May His Grace, Peace, Love, Mercy and Protection continue to be upon you and your family throughout this season and beyond. Merry Xmas & prosperous New Year. 08023033692.

    •Merry Christmas and Happy New & Prosperous Year to U & your family. In Jesus Name. Amen. God bless U. From All of Us-Adamma, Dami, Ayo, Lola & Richard Aguda. +2348033946969.

    •Beloved, compliments of the season. Imeba Davis Olayi wishes you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. May it be a memorable season to remember. Be Blessed.

    •This text comes from one of readers, I’m using this medium to thank you for wonderful writing and the creative ways through which you touch people’s lives, Merry Xmas. Oliver. 08105384986.

    •Merry Christmas dear. Abdullahi, 08033288236.

    P.S: I’m indeed very grateful to all of you who sent season’s greetings to me. I’m sorry I can only publish these few. I will try to do more next week y God’s grace. One thing is sure, I appreciate you all. Thank you.

  • 10 Tips to help you rekindle the love for your spouse by Kristi Patrice Carter

    If you and your spouse have reached a stale point in yourrelationship, don’t fear – help is near. Just about every marriage (whether you’ve been married a few months or years) may experiences a time when the two of you and your spouse need to reconnect. In this article, I’ll provide you with some proven tips to spice up your marriage and get the ball rolling again.

    Look for the good in your partner. Just like you did when you first

    got together, you should make an effort to see the good in your partner. When you first met, their nuisances were cute and attractive so try and ignore those annoyances once again. By seeing the good in your spouse, complimenting them and making them feel special, you’ll set the tone for a better marriage.

    Be more affectionate and loving. Touch your spouse more and tell them that you love them. For instance, when they come home from work, give them a welcome home kiss. Instead of saying gruffly, “Oh hey , it’s you.” Instead, give them a real hug and a kiss (even a wet one if the time is right. This will prove that you do love and care about them.

    Spend quality time together. Many relationships hit a stale point when they don’t make their relationship a priority. So, take time out of your schedule to spend some quality time with your spouse. Whether you decide to cuddle while watching the news or go to a romantic movie, just do it. Make your spouse a priority now. Don’t wait.

    Be spontaneous. If you do the same old thing every single day, your marriage is bound to seem unexciting. Therefore, spice things up a bit. Do something totally unpredictable. For instance if you normally spend Sunday afternoons working in your garden and your hubby is a Cubs fan give up the gardening for a day and go to a Sunday game. Just do something to get out of the rut you’re in.

    Encourage time away. Although it is important to do fun stuff together, you should also spend time alone. Encourage your spouse to spend time with friends. For instance, if your spouse loves to play golf, encourage him to play a few rounds of golf with his friends. You can then have a spa date with some girlfriends.

    Enjoy your life. Don’t be so serous all the time. If your spouse is in a bad mood, don’t have a hissy fit. Everyone makes mistakes so lighten up and stop being so pessimistic. Learn to laugh instead of pout. Do the things that make you happy. You’ll then find that you’re more fun to be around.

    Listen to your spouse and communicate effectively. Instead of talking all the time, really listen to your spouse. Concentrate on what they’re saying and let them know that you care enough to listen to them. Pay attention to them, especially about matters that are important to them.

    Make time for romance. Intimacy and passion are paramount to a healthy marriage. So romance your spouse and make lovemaking a priority to ensure that you rekindle your relationship and show how much you love and value your spouse.

    Control your anger. When you are angry, you often say hurtful things that you can’t take back. Therefore, you must learn to control your anger at all costs. If you need to take a “time out” then take it.

    This will ensure that you don’t say something harmful to your spouse.

    Ask for forgiveness. If you mess up and say something harmful or damaging, sincerely apologize right away. Often times when couples argue, there is a lot of tension. By admitting you were wrong, you demonstrate that you are sorry and care about your spouse’s feelings. In conclusion, a successful marriage is hard work but it is well worth the effort. If you notice that your relationship needs a little rekindling, try the above tips and in no time at all, you’ll rekindle the passion and love that’s there but just needs to be fired up.

  • Capital Hotel marks Yuletide with orphans

    Capital Hotels , owners of Sheraton Abuja Hotel and the management staff of Abuja Sheraton Hotel visited the less-privileged children within the F.C.T suburbs to mark the period of festivities with them.

    The team was led by the General Manager of Capital Hotels, Mr. Robert Itawa.

    Commenting on the reason for the visit to orphanages, Mr. Itawa said: “ Our community social responsibility team pays particular attention to the more unpopular and neglected children homes where we can play an essential role in adding quality and value to their lives.

    At the Hope for Survival Orphanage, Gishiri, Maitama Extension, the caretaker,Madam Naomi Maman, and kids eagerly received the teams.

    The visit to Kubwa Divine Orphanage Home was very heart-stirring as the team doted on many babies from four days old to three months. The care- taker, Mrs. Gloria Enearu, explained that she prepares these children for adoption by worthy parents.

    Prayers were said and goodwill was shared as the children were treated to sumptuous packed meals alongside other items.

    The spokesperson for the team, Ms. Margaret Amade, introduced the members of the CSR team.

    She added that lifting up the weak and downtrodden of the society should be a key virtue embraced by worthwhile organizations.

    The climax of the day unveiled with the good- will handover of electronics , household items, provisions, foodstuff, toiletries, stationery and clothes for the children’s use.

    Meanwhile, Starwood Hotels and Resorts, owners of the Sheraton brand, are currently leading the way in seafood sustainability. The global hotel group is collectively committed to being a change leader ensuring that customers make the right choice in order to preserve our ocean’s ability to continue feeding billions of people today and for generations to come.

    Starwood Hotels and Resorts Worldwide maintains that “many species are either endangered, being fished to extinction or virtually extinct already. At this pace there will be no viable commercial fisheries remaining by 2050 unless we act”.

  • I won’t forget the kisses of 2012

    Here we are, about to say goodbye to the year 2012. I’m feeling nostalgic already as I remember the great embraces of the year 2012… and the kisses too. Like a child, I opened my arms to the universe at the beginning of the year and like a child the year carried me up high and with God in every step of the way, I was not let down.

    The year 2012 offered me some of the best gifts life has on offer and it made me sail over many seas without drowning. As I surrendered to the dictates of God, I flew over many mountains and across the skies and to the greatest kisses of my life… to the beauty of God ever so sure. I stayed under the shadow of the Being who made me be where angels take dominance and make the sun comforting. I learnt the lessons of life and of love and of giving without wanting anything in return. I got to a place of freedom and so, I won’t ever forget the great kisses 2012 gave me.

    The year 2012 has been for me a good year. I lost some, I gained some and I look forward to 2013 with hope. I pray we all get there with God steering the boats of our life. This year 2012 will soon become another yesterday in our lives, may our tomorrow be bright and beautiful. And may it offer us a lot of emotional kisses and embraces.

    To a lot of you out there whose love made me glow, I can’t help but appreciate you openly. Senator Umaru Dahiru (as usual), I bow my head and say thank you. Abiodun Saheed Hammed… thanks for watching my every step and never leaving me alone. You sure made the year great and sweet. Rt. Hon. Aminu Waziri Tambuwal, I haven’t stopped saying thank you and God bless you. Bukola Daniyan, I feel your love today and always.

    Look at you all Hearts fans in whose voices I hear love and get carried to heights up, up there, I don’t know what I’d do without you all. May we all live happy lives all through 2013. May God grant my last wish for 2012 – May I will be here to welcome us by with love and kisses and warm embraces, amen.

  • PLANE CRASHES:Simply wasted

    PLANE CRASHES:Simply wasted

    The aviation sector recorded the highest number of tragedies in the country in 2012. The nation suffered a total number of five plane crashes in which no fewer than 159 lives of eminent and promising citizens were untimely terminated. This excludes the 10people killed by a Nigerian cargo plane that crashed in Ghana. The crashes occurred all on weekends and two in each half of the year.

     The gale of air crashes started on June 2 when a Nigerian cargo plane attempting to take off from the Kotoka International Airport in Accra, Ghana, crashed killing 10 people and injuring an unspecified number of others.

    The plane smashed through the airport’s fence before slamming into cars and a bus loaded with passengers on a nearby street. The crash happened in an area near the Kotoka International Airport, which sits near newly built high-rise buildings, hotels and the country’s Defence Ministry. The plane was labelled as belonging to Allied Air Cargo.

    Less than 24 hours after the fatal incident, the country experienced one of its worst air disasters  when   a Dana Airline passenger plane from Abuja- Lagos crashed into two houses at Iju, a suburb of Lagos State killing all 146 passengers and seven crew members on board. An unconfirmed number of the residents were said to have also been killed in the crash.

    The Boeing, McDonnell Douglas (MD-83), with registration number 5N-RAM crashed barely five minutes to touchdown at the Murtala Muhammed Airport, Ikeja.

    The  Dana Airline enroute Abuja-Lagos exposed the country’s shoddy response service, as the aircraft which was not engulfed in fire immediately after impact, took about an hour and 30 minutes after the crash before emergency services and the first rescue team arrived the scene.  The late arrival of the officials of the Nigeria Emergency Management Agency (NEMA) provided an opportunity for scores of looters who scavenged the crash site, pilfering the personal effects of the 153 passengers who died in the crash.

     Dana Air Flight 992 has the highest number of aviation fatalities in 2012 and the worldwide highest death toll of any aviation accident involving a McDonnell Douglas MD-83. It is also Nigeria’s second-deadliest plane crash behind the January 22, 1973 – Royal Jordanian Airlines flight 707 carrying 171 Nigerian Muslims returning from Mecca and five crewmen, who died in crash in Kano, Nigeria.

    It has also gone down on record as  the air crash that claimed the lives of multiple number of family members. For instance, Rev. Ayodeji Cole and his wife, Ngozi, died in the crash, leaving three children behind. He  was the resident pastor of the Redeemed Evangelical Mission (a.k.a Vision House Parish) Utako branch, Abuja, until his death.

    Mrs. Fortune David-Kolawole died  in the crash alongside her baby, Eyinojuoluwa David-Kolawole. She got married to her husband David Kolawole, in March 2010 and  was the group head, HR Outsourcing at Resource Intermediaries Limited.

    There was also the Anyenes that lost an entire family: Onyeka Anyene; Maimuna Anyene; Noah Anyene; Kamsiyona Anyene and Kaiyenotochi Anyene.

    The same could be said of the Wasas and the Onyeagochas.  Mrs. Ruth Wasa and her daughter, Awyetu died in the air disaster. Eleven-year-old Chimdinma Onyeagocha and her mother, Ogechi, also lost their lives in the crash.

       Among other individual victims of the crash were the Group General Manager, Public Affairs Division of the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Dr. Levi Ajuonuma and Ehime Aikhomu, son of the late former Military Vice-President Augustus Aikhomu.

    Though many of the residents died in the disaster, few of them narrowly escaped death. One of the lucky survivors and  owner of one the building on which the DANA Air plane crashed, Pastor  Daniel Oluranti Omowumi,  who attributed the survival of his family to God. But for an after service meeting at his church, Living Faith Church, Canaanland, Ota, Ogun State, which delayed him and his family, he said he would have been home with all members of his family and his aged mother before the plane crashed into his building. The meaning is that the entire family would have been wiped out if he were home before the crash.

    Few days after the incident, some relations of the victims engaged in mild drama over who should be the next of kin that would get the compensation to be paid by the airline. A victim’s wife and brother  caused a scene when they simultaneously  appeared at the airline’s office as the next of kin.  Another drama ensued at the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital, (LASUTH) mortuary where some of the relations had problems getting the remains of their dead family members.

    The family of retired Assistant Comptroller of Fire Service, Mr. George Moses, a victim of the crash, had difficulty retrieving his body and raised the alarm over the whereabouts of his corpse. A member of the family, Mr. Moses Olajide, alleged that in June, the name of the victim was among the 29 identified names pasted at the Lekan Ogunsola Memorial mortuary of the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital, LASUTH, Ikeja.

    He said the body of the deceased was intact when he entered the morgue, and even was identified by his ID card which was in his wallet. The name surprisingly disappeared on the list after  the arrival of the  DNA test results from the United Kingdom thereby aggravating the plight of the family.

    A photojournalist with Leadership Newspaper, Mr. Benedict Uwalaka was brutalised in the process of taking the pictures of the handing over of copse to the relations.

     Dana Air recently announced that it has started paying insurance claims to the families of those involved in the June 3 tragic crash.

     Then came the news of Taraba State Governor, Mr. Danbaba Suntai’s involvement in a plane crash on the 25th of October. No life was lost in the crash as he and the other occupants narrowly escaped death. The governor, his aide-de-camp and chief security officer, who were also in the plane that took off from Jalingo, the Taraba State capital, and three others were seriously injured.

    Suntai, who graduated as a pilot from the Aviation College in Zaria last year, was piloting the crashed plane.

    The plane, a Cessna 208, 5N-BMJ, owned by the state government, crashed at about 7.45 pm, near the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) depot, on the outskirts of Yola.

    He has since been moved to a hospital in Germany where he is currently receiving medical attention.

    The nation was again thrown into another round of mourning  when, Governor Patrick Yakowa of Kaduna State and former National Security Adviser, Gen. Andrew Owoye Azazi and four others died in a helicopter that crashed in Bayelsa State on December 15. They were among many political figures who attended the burial of the father of senior presidential aide, Oronto Douglas, in the Nembe area of Bayelsa State.

    The naval helicopter in which they were travelling crashed and burst into flames in the forest of Okoroba, Nembe Local Government Area of Bayelsa State, shortly after take-off.

    The four other persons on board the ill-fated helicopter were the orderly to Azazi, Warrant Officer Kamal Mohammed; a prominent politician from Kaduna, Dauda Psokho; the pilot, identified as Commander Muritala Mohammed Daba; and co-pilot, Lt Col. Adeyemi O. Sowole.

    The helicopter, a Navy Agusta, with number NN07, crashed and immediately burst into flame at about 3:30p.m.

    Yakowa was buried on December 20 with many dignitaries led by President Goodluck Jonathan in attendance.

  • Beyond pardon (2)

    It all happened so quickly that before I knew what was happening, we were on the bed, tangled together…

    Obviously, Timi seduced me. But at my age, shouldn’t I have had enough self-control to resist, you might wonder. But what grown, hot-blooded man could see a naked woman, with the kind of assets Timi had, and resist? Even a monk would have fallen to such temptation!

    Anyway, that’s how Timi and I became lovers. Initially, I just saw the affair as a fling, and Timi as someone to keep me company on lonely nights as my wife was so far away. I loved my wife and family and I didn’t want to do anything to hurt them. But I had reckoned without my errant heart. Before long, I had fallen madly in love with Timi.

    I spent most of my free time with her and I didn’t like her being away from me for long. Because of her, my visits to Lagos to see my wife and family reduced drastically and whenever she complained, I would tell her it was due to pressure of work.

    At the end of her service year, Timi wanted to return to Lagos where her parents lived to look for work. But I was against the idea as that would mean our being separated. The thought of her going so far away from me filled me with dread. My life would be completely empty without her.

    “I will get a job for you here, in Port-Harcourt,” I told her.

    I was true to my words. Shortly after, I spoke to the branch manager of a bank in the city who was a tennis partner of mine at the club. Within a month, Timi had been offered a job at the bank.

    By this time, she had left the corpers’ quarters she had been living in and moved in with me.

    “What if your wife comes to visit you unannounced?” she asked, a few days after she moved into my house.

    “We will cross that bridge when we get there,” I stated, holding her close in my arms and kissing her. My wife had only visited me twice in the four years I had been living in the city and she had informed me well in advance on both occasions.

    Living with Timi was wonderful. She was quite caring and always concerned about my welfare. As for me, I loved her to bits and could not imagine life without her. I had no idea what the future held. I was just happy to spend my days and nights with her, to love and be loved by her.

    I was careful though, to keep the affair with Timi from my wife. Once in a few months, I would travel to Lagos and see her and the children and act the role of a good family man. But most times, I couldn’t wait to return to my sweet Timi, to hold her close to me.

    Things went on this way for about a year. Then a day came when things came to a head. It was a Saturday afternoon. There was no work so we were both at home. I was watching a football match on TV while Timi was in the kitchen, helping Johnson prepare lunch.

    “Lunch will soon be ready, honey,” Timi said, coming into the living room and sitting on my lap. She planted a kiss on my lips but at that instance, I was more interested in the action on the TV screen than in her caresses.

    “You and football,” she grumbled as she got up to return to the kitchen.

    Just then, the doorbell rang.

    “I’ll get it!” Timi said, making for the door.

    I could hear her speaking with someone at the door, then she came back in and announced:

    “Honey, there’s a woman at the door asking for you.”

    I got up to see who was at the door. Standing there, a sour look on her face was my wife!

    The showdown

    The sight of my wife at the door, arriving so unexpectedly without warning, so shocked me, that I just stood there, gaping at her. Then I came to myself and said:

    “Mary, what are you doing here?”

    She brushed me aside and came into the room, dropping her traveling bag on the floor.

    “What kind of question is that? Is that the way to welcome your wife who has travelled all the way from Lagos to see you?” she demanded crossly, surveying the living room as if looking for something.

    “I’m sorry, but you gave me quite a surprise. You should have told me you were coming. I would have sent the driver to pick you at the airport,” I stated.

    “Do I need permission before coming to see my own husband?” she asked, going to sit on the couch.

    “I know, but…” I started to say when Timi came into the room.

    “Honey, lunch is ready. Should I serve it now?” she asked, coming to stand by me and holding

    my hand.

    Seeing Mary, she said:

    “Welcome, ma.” Then she asked me with some curiosity: “Is she your sister?”

    Mary stood up.

    “What’s going on here? Daddy Michael, who is this girl?” she asked.

    “Em…This is Timi…” I said.

    “And I’m his girlfriend,” Timi quickly added.

    “What?” she exclaimed. “So, all the rumours I’ve been hearing are true. That you’ve been living with a girl in this house. How could you?” she shouted angrily at me.

    “Mary, calm down. Let me explain,” I said.

    “You say I should calm down? Is that all you can say? Anyway, this nonsense must end today! Little girl,” she addressed Timi, “I’m giving you ten minutes to pack your things and get out of this house. If you are still here at the end of that time, I won’t be responsible for my actions!”

    “And who are you to order me around in my man’s house?” Timi demanded, in an equally angry tone.

    “You still don’t get it? Well, let me tell you since you are so thick-headed. I’m his wife and this is my home. So, get the hell out!” she screamed at her.

    “What?” Timi exclaimed, looking anxiously at me…

    * * * *

    “Look, Mary. Try to understand the situation. What happened was not planned. One thing led to the other and before I knew it, I was in really deep,” I stated. We were in my bedroom later that night. We had spent the past few hours or so arguing over Timi and what I should do about her. I had refused to allow her leave the house after Mary’s order to her to pack out. “She has no where to go. Give me sometime to make alternative arrangements for her,” I had told her earlier.

    “What situation do you want me to understand? That the moment my back was turned, you went and brought in a girl into my home. A girl that’s about the same age as Kate, our first daughter? Francis, you should be ashamed of yourself!”

    “I’ve said I’m sorry. Besides, you are partly to blame too for the situation,” I pointed out.

    “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, glaring at me.

    “Well, if you had moved here with me, this wouldn’t have happened. It’s not easy for a man of my age to live alone,” I stated quietly.

    “So, you are now putting the blame on me. Instead of accepting your mistakes and cleaning up the mess you’ve created, you are looking for a scapegoat for your misdeeds. You are really pathetic!” she stated.

    “It’s late so stop shouting. Do you want the neighbours to hear?” I told her.

    “Let them hear! I don’t care. At least they will know the kind of man you are; one who can’t control that thing in his trousers!”

    “Mary!” I cautioned her, glaring at her.

    She glared back before resuming the quarrel.

    I laid on the bed, silent, listening with half an ear to what she was saying, how my wandering eyes will put me in trouble one of these days, that did I not think of the children and the many years of marriage we had had before jumping into bed with any thing in skirts?

    Timi was in the guest room and I wondered whether she was asleep. She had been unwilling to move from my bedroom and I had had to plead with her, assuring her that she would be back once my wife was gone.

    Two days later, Mary returned to Lagos. Before leaving, she had given me an ultimatum:

    “The next time I come, somebody will..

    •To be continued

    What was the ultimatum that Mary gave her husband? Find out next week!

    •Names have been changed to protect the narrator’s identity. Send comments/suggestions to psaduwa@yahoo.com or 08023201831.

  • I love my wife and I’m clean, but could she be unfaithful?

    I am indebted to you. I cry out of emotion when I see how you advice at times. My wife of 21 years, 16 of which was childless just asked me the effect and consequence adultery. I did not answer her but I have not been the same ever since. We have two 2 kids – boy and girl.

    Please advice; I don’t want to insinuate that she just asked me that question for nothing but I find it strange that she did. Could she have started anything? I love my wife and I’m clean, that’s why I am worried.

    •My dear brother, stop breaking your heart over nothing. There are so many ways a man can know if his wife is cheating, and one of them is NOT through innocent questions. If your wife is cheating on you, I bet, you wouldn’t be the person she’d be asking such a question. Most people who cheat are really discreet about it; in fact, you may be the last to know about it.

    I’m going to show you 10 signs to know if your spouse is cheating on you and 10 tips to help you rekindle your love if it is running low.

    Cheer up brother and make the New Year one to remember in your marriage: Here are 10 signs your partner may be cheating on you.

    1) Cell Phone: If your partner is very protective of their cell phone, they may be trying to hide text messages or phone calls. Yes, I know you can erase text messages and phone calls. I honestly believe if your partner will not leave the phone in the room with you alone, they are trying to hide something. Text messages during late night hours is another sigh. A friend may once in a while send a text message but if they are getting text messages almost every night really late, I would be very suspicious.

    2) Attitude: Attitude is everything. Mood swings to me is a sign to look for. If your partner goes out and comes home in a bad mood or is acting weird for say….not wanting anything to do with you, if they are cheating, they are feeling guilty but place the blame on you for it. In my experience, it’s easier for the cheater to push you away making you feel as if you did something wrong.

    3) Clothing: This is a big deal. If you can smell perfume or cologne then it’s a huge possibility they have been around someone else. It’s not uncommon for people to hug others who wear large around of perfume or cologne. This by its self doesn’t make them a cheater. However, if they have been out late or all night for that matter and they blame it on a family member, be suspicious.

    4) Bathroom: If your partner comes home and goes straight to the bathroom, showers, or whatever, this could be a sign too. If they take a shower and hide their clothes, it’s not a good thing.

    5) Going Out: If you ask to go out with your partner and they tell you NO! You can’t go. There is a reason. Either they are meeting someone or they are not really going where they say they are. If for some weird chance they do allow you to go but act like you are not even with them, it’s time to take notice. Watch the room because it’s possible the person is going to show up. Most people who cheat don’t always tell the person they are seeing they are married or with someone for that matter. If you happen to see someone spending a lot of time around them that you don’t know, be weary.

    6) Sex: This one is never an easy subject to tackle. This can go several different ways. First if they are not interested in having sex with you but once in a blue moon there could be a problem. I was always told if your partner is not getting it at home they are getting it somewhere else. However, they could be getting it at home and everywhere else too. You really just don’t know on this one. In my experience, if they are settled with one person they are cheating with then you are not going to be seeing much action from them. If they are still getting it from you on a regular basis, chances are they could be seeing more than one person.

    Change in sex habits is a sign to watch for. If they are trying out new things but in the past kept them the same all the time, I would ask why the new interest? If they just don’t seem to be enjoying it or seem to be a million miles a way it’s possible you’re not the one they are wanting to be with.

    7) Truck/Car: If your partner keeps the truck/car locked and they don’t want you getting anything out of it unless they are with you, it’s possible a sign is there. If the keys to that car are not kept out in the open and they are hiding them from you. It’s a reason behind it.

    8) Unexplained Receipts: Dinner for two, that’s not uncommon but if you find a receipt for jewelry or lingerie dated around Christmas and it’s March and you know you didn’t receive that type of gift from him that’s a clear bonus they are cheating. Don’t be surprised to hear they picked that up for a buddy or they lost it. The best excuse he could come up with was he placed the bag on the top of his car and drove off, forgetting about the purchase. Yeah right.

    9) Friends: If your partner is hanging out with single people or married ones that you know cheat on their partner’s you should be concerned. Single people go out to mingle with other singles. I am not saying it’s not ok to have single friends when you’re in a relationship but if they are out all the time and you’re never invited, this is a sign.

    10) Your Gut Instinct: By far your gut instinct is the best source you will ever have. This feeling of sickness in the pit of your stomach when you see them drag in at day break should never be ignored. I believe our mind and body know the fact that we are being cheated on long before our heart ever does.

    And now my brother, if you have checked all the hints and your wife is a saint, please give her a kiss and a hug and try out the following tips to put some fire into your marriage: