Category: Saturday Magazine

  • When he cheats and tells you…

    Phew! Dear Lord, please help me pass across this message in a way only you can, amen.

    You did not catch him in the act. In fact, as far as you were concerned, he would never smell such. Then he comes home one day

    sober and weather beaten, at first you are scared he may have lost his job,

    but he tells you it’s worse than you think. With a contrite spirit, deflated ego, tail in between his legs, he stoops… and in between quivering lips, and barely audible mutters, he begs you for forgiveness… Why? He slipped….he cheated on you…

    Sister, so many of us have found ourselves on this all-too-familiar stage – …betrayal, hurt, hate, pain, ache, all trying to burst through… a combustible blend.

    If you will permit me sis, this is my humble submission. Men are not wired to kiss and tell. Oh no they are not. For them. Whatever happens in ‘Vegas’ stays in Vegas.

    So if you have a man who brings the error, regrets and pains of ‘Vegas’ home and asks for forgiveness, then, sis lovely, you have got a man to whom you matter so much and that is so so important. Not all men give two hoots how you feel even if you find out.

    Gather yourself after the initial shock and reaction.

    Brace yourself like the strong woman that you are.

    wrap him round cover him up. He is hurting that’s why he told you.

    You are also hurting that’s why you reacted.

    Heal together.

    Help each other.

    This is not the time for the ‘couch treatment’ and family confab.

    Oh no, not yet sis.

    The way you handle this delicate stage is so very important and will determine the course of your relationship.

    It will determine, in most cases, if he will go back to ‘Vegas’ or come back home to you.

    Don’t forget, Men will naturally give you their future if they can recall your maturity in yesterday’s issues.

    This is not a ‘bullet proof’ solution but it sure keeps some pellets away…

  • Cross River: Making of a destination

    Cross River: Making of a destination

    The tempo for this year’s December festival in Calabar is gradually increasing. It will be officially flagged off on November 31.
    Unlike in the past, Cross River State is marketing the whole state as a destination rather than the seasonal festival.
    Here, we look at endowments that make Cross River State a destination

    Cross River State has become a vast leisure getaway. It has built a reputation for its self as a place where for 32 days, there is festivity and visitors are pampered in the only way peculiar to the people. The month of November is the eve to this festive month.

    However, the state wants more of the local and international tourist share of arrivals. As such, the state is reinventing itself, doing a circumspection of its past tourism offering and re-assessing its efforts and product on offer to both local and international tourists.

    The leisure season for the state is about to begin, but now it is not all about Calabar Festival and of course its top product, the Carnival Calabar. It is about Destination Cross River.

    In creating Destination Cross River, the state seeks to create a distinct identity for itself as a unique place for pampering and caring for people and making them happy. In this new brand creation, there is a remarkably paradigm shift from what used to obtain in the past. Business tourism was supposed to act as a major launch pad for tourism in the state. That informed the building of the Tinapa, a recreation of Dubai in Africa.

    However, The state is not waiting until all the bottlenecks currently stiffling the take-off of Tinapa is sorted out. Rather, it has decided to add content to other tourism sites all over the state. By so doing, Destination Cross River would be an all-year-round tourism experience.

    So, one may ask, what is the difference between the new Destination Cross River and what obtained in the past? The difference is that while the Calabar Festival is a seasonal 32-day event with the Carnival Calabar, reputed to be Africa’s biggest street party, being the highpoint, Destination Cross River is building a new image for the state as an all-year-round tourist friendly getaway that caters for both leisure and conference, guests, with an eye for business tourism too.

    This new thrust of the state as a total package is predicated on trying to harness and market all the top tourists site within the state, upgrade the facilities from being just sites to a destination with all the supporting facilities that would make them an enjoyable experience.

    Destination Cross River is anchored on culture and eco-tourism.

    With a diverse ethnic group of over 100 languages and dialects, there is an abundance of colourful culture and tradition.

    In Ikom, Leboku festival in Yakurr is distinct. Leboku is a unique new year festival that celebrates fertilityof the land and beauty of womanhood. It is 32 days of celebration that is captured in only a few places in the world. But one must not forget a tour of Ikom area around July and August would not just be about the Leboku alone. There is also the Ikom monolith to explore and the Agbokim waterfall. So, just in Ikom zone alone, it is a full package.

    The Leboku comes up around July and August during the harvesting of new yams from the farm. However, the people of Cross River entertain in their celebration of culture. To a great extent, the 32 days celebration is a modernization of the culture of hospitality that is already ingrained in the people of the state.

    The Obudu Mountain Resort is probably one of the earliest recognized tourism site in the country. When Cross River State is described as a paradise, there is no place in the state this is more apt than Obudu Mountain Resort. Describing the place as paradise, in the simple sense of the word is not patronizing. One is not surprise that in Cross River folklore, there are some community that swore that the biblical Garden of Eden was located in the state. There might not be any concrete proof of that except that if one is searching for a paradise, there is a sense of Eureka- I have found it, on getting to Obudu Mountain. It is only a blind man that would not be moved by the sight of this idyllic mountain ranch that offers sights and sounds incomparable to anything else in this part of the world.

    However, the dominant image of Destination Cross River State brand is the 32-day Festival. This is due to the streams of images from the past editions that have always left everybody excited. This year, according to the state, is no exception.

    It is gratifying that Cross River State is positioning itself as the prime and probably the only tourism destination in the country. It did not do this by just trumpeting the phrase, but went out of its way to do the necessary background work that helps in making the state easy to access.

    This, the state did in so many ways. Tourism is one of the commonest English words in the state. The people know what it means when local and foreign visitors walk on the streets in the state. Creating the necessary man-power based sector like the hospitality industry through training and education of young men and women to understand the sector well is on. The effort to make the destination accessible to both local and foreign tourists has been done through the initiative of groups like Remlords and the hotels associaition of the state with their pet project- Experience Cross River. It does not require any special knowledge of anything to book a holiday in Cross River State, it is just a click away on the internet.

    Of course, one key component of tourism which Destination Cross River is selling is peace of mind. It is probably the only state in the country that one could visit, enjoy the laid-back ambience and without the discomforting consciousness of trying to watch one’s back.

    But with all these pluses for tourism in the state, it becomes useless when the roads are deathtraps. It is a challenge that once tackled, will resolve the jigsaw.

    Indeed, nature and man connived in Destination Cross River to produce an environment where every body can come, let down their guard, and have a wonderful time. The season is here.

  • 10 things that turn guys off

    Are you wondering about what actually guys hate in girls and the things that turn them off? Well, it differs from guy to guy, but there are some things that turn guys off and will make him want to stay away from you.

    1. A closed mind: A girl who is not prepared to listen to a guy and strongly believes that she is the only sane person definitely will not make a guy happy. Have an open mind and listen to what the guy has to say! Don’t judge or simply jump to conclusions.

    2. Trust Issues: Being possessive of your guy is good, but don’t cross the line and become insanely jealous and possessive. Constantly doubting your guy’s attitude towards other girls or querying about why, how and when he talks to other girls are some of the things that guys hate.

    3. The Feminist factor: A guy does not want you to cling to him, and neither does he want you to totally disown him. He expects you to be able to care for yourself when the need arises, and let him show his macho side when he wants to!

    4. Nagging: This is seriously a turn off! Guys hate girls who keep on saying the same thing over and over again. So, don’t nag. If you want something done and your guy doesn’t want to do it, find some other means of accomplishing it. Simple!

    5. Suffocation: No matter how much the guy likes you, he will not become your slave. Give him his space and let him have some guys’ time. If you constantly call him, message him and keep insisting that he can’t do anything without informing you, you can be rest assured that the guy will run far and away from you!

    6. Disrespect: Guys do not like girls who simply nod along to everything they say. And neither do they want someone who will disagree with everything. If you do not want to turn off guys, be a girl who commands respects and gives respect.

    7. Importance: Some girls take guys for granted. Assuming and believing that your special guy will be around forever will definitely turn the guy off. Let him know how much you appreciate his presence in your life from time to time. Don’t devalue his feelings, opinions or views.

    8. Too much makeup: You need to put on the foundation, eyeliner and lipstick in such a way that your face looks beautiful, not like a joker.

    9. Dressing up: If you dress shabbily, then there is no way you will attract men. If you hate your body or yourself, you will surely turn guys off. It is important to appreciate yourself first and dress like you love your body and face.

    10. Attitude:  Don’t be the snob kind, and neither should you be a push over. These characteristics will surely turn guys off. Be an easy going, happy and cheerful person!

  • ‘I had numerous sources of income before venturing into robbery’

    A suspected member of a three-man robbery gang, Ojobo Olise, has said he joined the gang because of his jeep desire to enjoy life to the fullest and also secure enough money to build a hotel in Lagos.

    However, the 21-year-old native of Umutu in Obiapu, Delta State, who claimed he had worked as a barman with a Lagos-based, was arrested by a mob in Ojo area where the gang had gone to rob a supermarket. The operation failed basically as a result of the alarm raised by the sales girl who the gang initially held hostage but escaped her boss arrived and she had an opportunity to escape from the supermarket to alert the neigbours on the presence of armed robbers.

    In the ensuing confusion, the armed robbers run away to avoid the wrath of the mob who were closing in on them. Unfortunately, Olise could not make good his escape like his two colleagues who scaled the wall. He was apprehended and given the beating of his life and later handed over to policemen at Ajangbadi Police Station, from where he was transferred to the Special Anti-Robbery Squad (SARS) of the Lagos State Police Command at GRA, Ikeja.

    Narrating his journey to the underworld, Olise said: “I was a barman. I was arrested for robbing a supermarket at Ilufe Alaba in Ojo, just immediately after the Alaba International Market. We were a three-man gang, including Old Baba and Fever. We used to collect people’s handsets. We were not able to open the drawer because of the alarm raised by the sales girl.

    “Fever and Old Baba were our customers at the hotel where I worked as barman. They used to lodge in the hotel after their robbery operations, and they usually came to the hotel bar to drink and eat goat head or cow tail pepper soup.

    “Prostitutes used to sleep with them till daybreak and they used to pay the prostitutes well. Any time they came to drink in the bar, they would buy between two and three bottles of beer for me. They used to give me money too. So, with time, they became my close friends and I used to discuss my personal problems with them.

    “My monthly salary was N10,000, but I was contented and happy because of the extra money I got as a barman on a daily basis. For instance, some of our wealthy customers at times left their balance for me. Before you know it, I would have got about N2,000 in one day. Some of them also used to buy drinks for me. Some days, I used to get between three and five free drinks.

    “On the days I did not get free drinks, especially when Fever and Old Man were not around, I used to drink one or two bottles from my stock and count them as flat beer. Flat beer bottles are bottles of beer which had problems, like leaked bottle, which makes the beer to lose taste. Customers normally return such beer and the hotel counted them as waste.

    “So, I was very comfortable as a bar man. I even used to save enough money to send to my parents and the continuation of my education was also paramount in my mind. Another source of the money I got as a bar man was the money I got from prostitutes for keeping their money for them any time they wanted to follow a customer home. They usually gave me 10 per cent of whatever they charged customers outside the hotel.

    “The idea to keeping money with the bar man was necessitated by the fact that most customers who took the girls to their houses either ended up not paying them the agreed sum or steal the money they gave the girls when they are asleep. So, I made good money from keeping money for prostitutes.

    “At times, I would send somebody to follow them in order to know where the customer is taking the prostitute to. They usually paid some money also for such protection or monitoring efforts.

    “Fever and Old Baba paid me well for helping them to monitor the movement of the police any time they came to raid the hotel. Even the chalets they used to pay for, I did not allow some other guests to take them to prevent them from seeing the two men. They used to come to the hotel almost every day, except they were on robbery operations.

    “To show you how loaded they usually were after operations, they gave me as much as N10,000. I did not know initially that they were armed robbers. I thought they were some of those boys who made it through drug pushing, thuggery, smuggling, embezzlement of public funds or even oil bunkering until they told me that they were robbers.

    “The night they told me to refund all the money they had given me if I would not join their gang. They had been giving me money in bits, like N10,000, N5,000, N1,000. But there was a day they gave me N50,000. On another day, they gave me N100,000, bringing the total sum of big money they gave me to N150,000. I never wanted to go into robbery with them.”

    Asked how he became the guest of the police, he said: “Let me tell you the truth: on that day, a Tuesday morning, they asked me what my plan was for the day. I told them that I wanted to go to Alaba International Market to repair my phone. They said they wanted to go there as well, and we all left together.

    “When we got to Ilufe area, they asked me to enter a nearby supermarket and buy cold sachet or bottled water for them to cool off from the hot weather. As I entered to buy the water, I did not know that they had entered through the front gate. When the sales girl went to get the water from the freezer, Fever and Old man entered, brought out two locally made pistols and ordered the sales girl to handover the day’s sales, her Nokia handset and some other items in a polythene bag.

    “The girl complied and handed over the money and handset. But as she was about to go round to collect those items, like choice wine, hot drinks, perfume, wrist watches and necklaces, among other items, the woman who owned the supermarket entered and was calling the sales girl to know where she was.

    “When we saw the woman, we hid ourselves while the sales girl seized the opportunity to escape through the back door. As soon as she ran out from the supermarket, she started shouting that we were thieves. Her alarm attracted neighbours and passer-by who rushed to the spot to apprehend us. But they were only able to capture me and started beating me.

    “They nearly set me ablaze with disused tyres before some of them suggested that I should be handed over to the police. I even heard some of them saying that it was better to hand me over to the Special Anti-Robbery Squad (SARS) of the Lagos State Police Command so that Fever and Old Man would be tracked down quickly.

    “I am grateful to God for keeping me alive. I am also grateful to God for protecting the life of the salesgirl whom Old Man shot at while she was escaping but the bullet missed her by a whisker. If the bullet had caught her, the mob would not have spared me.”

    Meanwhile, the Lagos State Commissioner of Police, Umar Manko, has ordered the O/C SARS, Abba Kyari, to track down Fever and Old Man.

  • My guy found out about the other guy and asked me to go

    Dear aunty I’m IJ, I’m 22 years old and I’m dating a guy whom I once loved but I’m falling in love with another guy and I have been hiding it away from him but he later found out and asked me to go. Please help me; I don’t know what to do.

    Sooner or later in the game of double dating, the secret will leak and one party will have to take a walk. In relationships, you can’t continue to eat your cake and have it. It is either  you stick to the one you loved but whom you have fallen out of love with or embrace the new relationship and enjoy it as it unfolds while you say bye-bye to the other guy.

    He’s a real man that’s why he asked you to go. That is even good for you as he still has something to hold on to, after all, he can console himself with the fact that he ended it. It is more painful when the cheating person is the one who has the upper hand to end a relationship. In this case, you were the cheat and he can at least rest in the fact that he caught you and sent you packing.

    This should teach you a lesson in your new relationship – stop cheating. It is better to end an old relationship and start a new one

    on a clean slate. Face your new guy and learn the art of faithfulness.

  • FTAN organises Tourism Investors’ Forum

    The Federation of Tourism Associations of Nigeria (FTAN) is to organise a tourism investment forum next year.

    Chief Samuel Alabi, National President of the FTAN made this known recently in Lagos.

    According to him, the tourism sector is faced with a series of challenges, one of which is the issue of funding for the sector either by financial institutions or established government sources that has not really been handy.

    In making it a memorable and exemplary event, many private and public individuals have been pencilled down to speak at the forum.

    Top issues to be discussed at the forum are: the Place of Tourism in Nigeria and the Challenges of Funding, the Role of Tourism in the Economic Development of Nigeria and Nigerian Fiscal Policies and its Imperatives on Tourism Development.

    Others are Taxation as a Tool of Tourism Development, the Nigerian Federal Capital Territory (FCT) and its Tourism Potential and an Appraisal of Current Sectoral Intervention Funds.

    The highlights of the event would be an exhibition and broad participation from stakeholders from the travel and tourism industry.

  • My community ostracised me for four years when I encountered Christ — Retired Methodist Archbishop Ladigbolu

    My community ostracised me for four years when I encountered Christ — Retired Methodist Archbishop Ladigbolu

    Lawrence Ayo Ladigbolu is a retired Archbishop of Methodist Church of Nigeria , a Prince of Oyo dynasty who has devoted his entire life to the service of the people through philanthropy, charity, community development and ministering to the needy. In this interview with OSEHEYE OKWUOFU in his Oyo residence, the minister of God spoke on his early childhood , life in the palace and how he was sent on exile from Alaafin’s palace for embracing Christianity.

    Can we know you sir?

    My name is Lawrence Ayo Ladigbolu. I am a retired Methodist minister and my last position was that of Bishop of Ilesa and Archbishop of Ilesa Diocese Methodist Church of Nigeria.

    As a young prince, what motivated you into the ministry as a career?

    Well, I grew up in the palace of the Alaafin of Oyo. And there was really nothing in my beginning that could have given anybody an idea that I would end up as a clergy. When I was growing up, I was sent to the Arabic/Islamic training school.

    I was tutored in the traditions and culture of the royal court. So, that was really my foundation. I could not have imagined that I could one day be a Methodist minister, talk less of becoming a Bishop or Arch-bishop.

    My growing up was fun in those days, especially in the palace because of the colour, grandeur, beauty and fan-fare that attended life within the royal court of the Alaafin of Oyo. It was a play ground for making friends, for meeting people of various tribes and cultures and of course, for the children then, it was a good place to grow up because it was a melting point of the richest of the Yoruba and other Nigerian cultures. So, I still have very good memories of my growing up in the palace.

    How would you describe your years in the primary school?

    Oh! they were very good years because the up-bringing in the palace did not allow anybody to feel important and as a child of the king, we were subjected to all kinds of manual labour that ordinary people performed. We would join the horse tenderers to get grass for the horses. We would join the labourers to work within the precinct of the palace. We were subjected to normal ordinary life of an average Oyo person. And so, going to school, we did not get any preferential treatment.

    We were treated like all other children. We were beaten when we deserved to be beaten. We were scolded when we deserved scolding. And we were not spared any discipline that normal school child should get. But then, going to school too was very good, myself and others with whom we grew up together were never lacking behind in our education. Most of the time I took first position. I can’t remember anytime I was second or third throughout my primary education, and indeed, I had then what they called automatic promotion from primary one to standard one. And that meant that I skipped primary two because they thought I knew enough to move up to the standard classes as they were called then. That was when education was education and teaching were devoted, teaching as if they wanted you to succeed.

    They taught you as if they were determined to make something out of your life. And so, I still remember with great nostalgia my teachers, although late because they were truly teachers, molders of characters, determinants of destinies.

    While in these classes, what subject did you love most?

    I don’t think I had any favorite subject because I did well in all my subjects. But looking back, I think, apart from General Knowledge, Arithmetic, Hygiene and the Physical and Health Education, I had a liking for English Language; Literature and Writing. In my fourth year in primary school, I was made the editor of the school Magazine. And so, from about 1954, I had been involved, one way or the other, in the business of writing and editing and so on. And later in my fifth year and final year in the primary school, I was leading the campaign for free education because free education was then being introduced in the Western Region. And I was leading the campaign and speaking at forums where parents and stakeholders were assembled to explain to them the value of education. They (parents) were encouraged to let their children come and enjoy the benefit of free and compulsory education that the late Chief Obafemi Awolowo was introducing during that time. So I think that writing and speaking were my favorite subjects from that time on and I think it has stucked.

    Was there any day you played truant in the school ?

    Indeed, I remembered one occasion when I tried to play truant. I think I feigned illness and didn’t want to go to school because there was an event coming up in our area that I wanted to watch. And it was discovered that I was feigning ill. So, they delegated somebody to take me on a bicycle to school and when we got there, the headmaster was informed that the reason somebody had to bring me to school was that I didn’t want to come. And so, they assembled all the pupils and asked two of them to hold me and one strong old student to cane me. He gave me 12 lashes of the cane just because I didn’t want to come to school. And you could see that there was no preferential treatment because you were nobody because students were students, teachers were teachers and discipline was enforced in those days.

    Can you still remember some of your classmates back then at school?

    Oh yes, I still remember my mates in primary and secondary schools. I went to what they called then Secondary Modern, which was not a regular secondary school at that time. I remember names but I am not sure of many who are still alive. Probably two or three names that I have not heard of. And it’s been sometime because we are talking of between 1951, 1952. So, it is some distance in time. And of course, in the post primary, there are still a number of my classmates and colleagues who are still alive till today. In fact, I heard of one of them about two weeks ago who lives in Ibadan and he was one of my closest friends. Not long ago, someone gave me a message from Adewole Owobamirin. There is another Oyeniyi who I saw about a forthnight ago and of course, a number of them have passed on including Rev. Dr. Julius Olayode who became a distinguished Baptist Minister and has since passed on.

    And there are still a number of them but because of distance and everything else, we have not been in communication for a long time.

    What was your experience when you made the decision to become a Methodist priest, I mean, how did your parents react to your decision?

    That is a fairly long story. First was when I became a Christian and that really came before the issue of becoming a minister and there was a very strong opposition from the family. Serious and severe opposition because as I told you earlier I had gone to Arabic school to learn and I had gone through the process of initial graduation. And I had even gone beyond learning the Quran to the point of learning the interpretation. And because of my activities in the community, whenever a Christian evangelist came to Oyo to preach, I was the one who would go out and confront them. We would argue with them in order to look for a weak point in the Christian faith and seek to exploit them. We tried to denigrate the religion and its adherents. So, it made me a bit more popular among the young people of my age and even among some adults then. And so, when suddenly I encountered Jesus Christ and surrendered my life to Him, people thought I had gone crazy. They assumed that I had gone mad actually.

    And when they assembled my family, my mother was crying believing that somebody had bewitched me and that in my right mind, I could not have suddenly turned from what I was to what I then became. And so, it was an uproar and the entire community joined to the point that I was ostracised by the community. Some people took me in and and hid me for about three to four years. But finally, I didn’t know the family was monitoring, they had a network of monitors.

    They were monitoring my movement, my pronouncements and my utterances. And suddenly, after about four years, I got a message to come home, to the same palace. I was told that ‘all the comments about you and your behaviour in all these years of your exile have been positive and so we know that what you are doing is what God designed for you to do. Though it is against our wish but we cannot argue with God. So, you can go ahead and carry on from there.’

    And all these four years that I was in exile, I was learning more about the Bible. I went to the United Missionary Theological College in Ilorin and got a Diploma in Theology, which equipped me to be a better teacher of the Bible and evangelist. My family told me ‘you could return home and rejoin us because we believe that you are not fanatic or so to say but you are a convinced believer in what you are doing, we will let you come back.’

    And so, I did come back and later on became an ordained minister when I received God’s call to become a minister and eventually I became a bishop.

    The Alaafin of Oyo sent his staff of office and through his queens, to witness that event at Methodist Church, Tinubu, Lagos. And that was the greatest sign of the family acceptance of me and of my conviction of faith and of my choice of vocation. So that is the long story that I sought to tell you in a nutshell.

    Throughout your years of service as a minister, do you have any regret?

    Certainly. Not because coming from such a very humbl beginning, humble in the sense that before the Lord all of us are equal whether you are a prince or a pumper, we were all created equal and we will be judged equally. Of course, the judgment of some will be more severe because of their knowledge and their privilege. Being called by God and being given all the opportunities of good training, the church still insisted that I had to go to Ibadan Emmanuel College for some further training because that was their own prescribed training, regardless of what training I have had before.

    The church also gave me a scholarship to go to United States of America to attend a seminary as well as to study Mass Communication degree programme in a University because they knew of my flair for journalism and communication. There was the benefit that would be to the church.

    I also had the opportunity to head a training institution for ministers, male and female workers in the vineyard, Sagamu. It is called the Methodist Theological Institute.

    For about seven years, I was the principal and I laid the foundation for the training programme in Methodist Church. I helped in some way to establish the communication unit of the church, its publishing organ and so on. I rose to the position of a bishop and became the Archbishop. There were challenges alright, but all said and done, the Lord has been good, He has been extremely good to us, to me as a person, to our family. So, no regrets at all because God has just been good.

    You talk of challenges, what were these challenges in the course of your labour in the vineyard?

    You know, in the ministry, if one is truly called, if you planned to be a rich man, rich man in terms of fame, luxury, opulence, you are out of the mission.

    So, our needs have also been supplied. There had been times when from morning till night, you wonder where will the next meal come from?

    But the Lord, in His mercy, will open doors and more than enough food will come, if you learn to trust in Him and look up to Him always. Challenges like, how do I pay my child’s school fees with the little salaries that a minister receives, will always come, but then you will find the Lord, in His mercy will send you help from heaven and you will meet those kind of needs and you will still have little left to take care of other needs.

    Even health challenges, you feel like oh, in case of incapacitation, how do I continue to serve the Lord? But the Lord will renew your strength. These are the kinds of challenges that I believe are normal for human beings and we have not been excluded from them. But in all of these, we have found the Lord faithful and good.

    Before your voluntary retirement, what did you plan to do in your post-retirement?

    Well, there was some unique aspect to my own retirement because I took voluntary retirement. Just about three years ahead of the statutory time for me to retire, I felt God was prompting me to retire before I was to retire. And it took me some time to convince both the authorities of the church and even some members of my own family. When I became a minister, God spoke to me. I felt His hand, His touch, and so, when this prompting from God came saying: ‘Hey, Ayo, three years ahead of your retirement, you should retire.

    And he kept saying it and showing it and drumming it, I could not resist. And so, people could not understand, considering the condition of service in the church that was being improved. Maybe I should have gained some material benefits but the call of God and His message to me was stronger. And I chose to obey. So, I retired seven years ago and decided to come home to Oyo . I had a choice of settling in any part of Nigeria, but I felt the spirit was leading me to come to Oyo to help this community, because having been gone for more than 40 years, travelling all over the world, I had Him saying: ‘when you retire, go to your people and serve me through them in the areas of community development in the areas of wholislic healthcare and in the area of ministering to the needy.

    In fact, that really brings us back to the issue of what is going to happen on Tuesday (December 4) because all along, in all the years of my service I have been connected with philanthropy and charity. When I was bishop of Ibadan, the late former Governor Lam Adesina and I and a certain Victor Taiwo started an organization called New Generation Foundation for the disabled and I was chairman. Governor Adesina was my deputy and Victor Taiwo was our secretary.

    We tried to help the disabled people find solace. Before that, I had worked with various development agencies for the poor and the needy and that really also led me to becoming involved in the work of Bode Akindele Foundation because it was that Foundation that built the Ayo Ladigbolu house as a donation to the Methodist Church, Ibadan Diocese. They chose to name it after me because from my years of connection with that foundation, I was rendering services to other organizations and various entities all over the country free of charge.

    So, the Lord was saying to me go back home when you retire and help your people; serve them the way you have been serving people of different climes while you were in active service. And so, when I came back , we started New Hope Global Associate Family Care Services, which was looking for people living with HIV/AIDS. We have a support group of more than 2,000 coming from different parts of Oyo State to receive help and counseling and we are glad.

    And I can go on and tell you several things that had happened including the recent Oranyan Festival celebrated by all of the Yoruba nation which our people, our brothers and sisters in diaspora also joined us. I have also been involved in cultural issues. I’m a member of Yoruba cultural groups and associations and I have been very very busy in my retirement still serving the Lord, still serving the people, still seeking to be useful to the very end of my life.

    Throughout your service in the vineyard, can you recall an event that caused you sadness and the greatest happiness?

    Well, its very difficult to pin-point any at the professional level, but perhaps the death of my mother. My greatest joy and my greatest sadness will all be related to my mother. My greatest joy was when she openly confessed Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior voluntarily and that was about two years before she died and she became a Christian. Throughout the years I left her to her own conviction. We kept lifting Jesus before her, in the things we did, in the things we said, in the ways we carried on, until she came to a point where she said I want to belong to Jesus and that was my greatest and happiest day. And then of course, I wish she had lived longer and seen me move up in the ministry and maybe get to see a bit more of the world and enjoy the benefit of caring for her only son and loving me so much. So, I will say my happiest and saddest moment will be related to my dear mother.

    On the national scene, many are of the opinion that Nigeria will be better off if it breaks, do you share this sentiment?

    I don’t share that sentiment and it will take some persuading for me to change that position, not because I am happy with the way things are, not because I see any bright prospect of change in the nearest future but simply because we know and we are aware of the history of nations that have been pushed together like us that have found themselves in uncomfortable partnerships like ours but which, in the process of wanting to go their separate ways ended up creating more problems within their own smaller entities than the ones they were running away from. And so for me, I think the best thing we can do is to keep talking, leave the doors open for talks, leave room for ideas that can help us to further cement this fragmenting structure that the British have established for us because there will be more benefits in having one Nigeria than having for example a South West zonal country. Before you know it, the Ekiti will now see more of how the Oyo people are cheating them, the Itsekiri will see more of how the Egba are ‘chopping’ everything and leaving nothing for them. And before long, there will be internal strife and disintegration will come again.

    So, I feel like if we have a constitution in this country that allows each of the zones to develop at their own pace, to manage their own resources, to make adequate contributions to the centre so as to sustain the centre and strengthen the units and weaken the centre, without making the centre subservient to the federating units, we can live together as a nation where no man is suppressed. It is the issue of suppression, it is the issue of marginalisation that usually pushes people to want to go their own ways. But I think we are better off going it together, than going it our separate ways. That is my own position. We will be happy to have a more humane Nigeria than a regional or zonal set up called zonal country or whatever name it will be called, where, before you know it, people will begin to disturb each other and beginan to destroy one another.

  • Football obsession and ennui in the land (1)

    Earlier in the week, a few of my male colleagues were

    watching the opening ceremony of the National Sports Festival, presently taking place in Lagos on TV. A remark made by one of them caught my attention and got me thinking. One of them commented on the few spectators at the event, comparing it to one he had seen some years before which was better attended.

    The second guy chipped in that the organizers were lucky that night there was no match in the on-going UEFA championships that or the stadium would have been empty. “I’m sure even the chief host would have been absent and would have probably sent a representative,” he opined mischievously.

    He could be right, considering how the menfolk and (some women too) have become so obsessed with football in the country. That the round leather game has captured the minds, bodies and souls of many in this country is stating the obvious. And it’s not just any football, mind you. It must be the English Premier league, leagues in mainland Europe or UEFA championships. What about our own local league? Why are people not crazy about it?

    “What local league; does it exist?” some foreign teams’ fanatics would retort contemptuously when asked of their preference for foreign teams while ignoring local ones.

    Many have their favourite teams and they follow the fortunes and misfortunes of these teams with the devotion that is usually shown by a religious adherent for a deity. It’s like a form of religion, a type of worship. It can create instant friendships, break old relationships and cause enmity among old friends. Whenever there’s a major league match, especially between two rival teams with strong followers, it’s like ‘war’ is about to break out.

    The tension and expectation in the air is palpable. Great debates-on TV, radio, newspapers, social media, offices, homes, mama put and drinking joints, schools, even places of worship- take place. Listening to the analysis, passion and excitement displayed over games, you will think a new vaccine for a world threatening plague had just been discovered.

    And seeing two fans of rival teams ‘yabbing’ each other, is great fun to watch.

    “Look at you! You call your club a great club! How much did you spend buying players this season?” a fan of Chelsea for instance would taunt an Arsenal fan.

    When his opponent fails to reply, the Chelsea fan would say with the arrogance of one with the wealth of Bill Gates:

    “As for me, I spent over 200 million pounds this season alone buying new players. I’ve brought in ‘fresh blood’ to replace old, tired legs like the ones you have in your club! All you do is buy cheap players that can’t play!”

    The other guy, unable to bear the insult any more, would retort:

    “Despite all the money you claim you spent on new players, Man U still beat you to the league title! Money-miss-road club like you!”

    Listening to these fans talk, one would think they have personal interests in these clubs maybe through the ownership of shares or other stakes. For as the saying goes: ‘Where your treasure is, there will your heart be.’ The shocking fact is these fans don’t have a single stake in terms of money or other interests in these clubs. All they have is their passion and godlike devotion to their teams.

    But is there more behind this passion for football in the country than meets the eye? Is this obsession normal? Nothing wrong with having something one can be passionate about, something to add some spice to life, which can be dreary at times. For some, it’s their jobs or businesses while some people obsess about their spouses, partners or children. Others have certain hobbies they can’t live without.

    But when the obsession gets to the level displayed by many football fans in the country, then there must be a problem somewhere.

    I got a clue of what the problem could be through a conversation I had with a couple of die-hard fans of two foreign teams recently. When I asked one of them why he was so crazy about football, that he refuses to eat whenever his team loses a match, he stated:

    “It’s what makes me happy. I’m annoyed with so many things in this country. So I need something to help me keep my sanity. Football does that for me so why shouldn’t I be crazy about it?”

    The other spoke in like manner, stating he watches football to, “take my mind off the horrible things happening in the country so I don’t go mad. The news in the papers and TV is always bad: it’s either a multi-billion naira fraud has just been uncovered in one government ministry or terrorists have killed hundreds of people in a bomb blast. I’m sick and tired of it all!”

    In other words, for many, football has become a form of distraction from boredom or ennui. Ennui is a feeling of being bored, tired and dissatisfied. Something you will agree with me is a ‘disease’ afflicting many citizens now…

    More next Saturday

  • Vanishing face of Abuja Carnival

    Vanishing face of Abuja Carnival

    The Abuja Carnival 2012 was held between November 24 and November 27. The organizers of the festival must be commended for hosting the festival tagged Carnival of Peace and Harmony under difficult conditions, most especially in the light of national security challenges and paucity of funds.

    The festival featured important programmes such as the carnival float, the boat regatta and, of course, the command performance that featured performances from countries like Egypt, China, Namibia and Trinidad and Tobago.

    Many would say that for such festival to hold at all signals, to a large extent, that the security situation in the country is not as bad as it has been painted.

    The organisers should also be commended because within the short time that the nod for the festival was given, they could still put up a show for a select audience in Abuja to see.

    The question that needs to be answered is that having staged the festival, how would it impact on the country’s quest to become one of the preferred tourist destinations in Africa?

    Speaking on the carnival, one of Nigeria’s foremost tour operators, Mr. Jemi Alade, said: “I knew that Abuja Carnival was going to take place. But nobody seems to know about Abuja Carnival outside Nigeria. It is a difficult sell. It is not that I am against it, but it not something marketable for me. I don’t know about other persons.”

    Some officials of the National Association of Nigerian Tour Operators (NATOP) told this reporter that the NATOP could not make any input to the carnival because it was not carried along. So, there was no way the members could go out to start marketing an event that they had no details about.

    Lucky George, the veteran travel journalist and publisher of the African Travel Magazine, had this to say about the festival: “Unfortunately, from what was seen in the last two editions, it is obvious that the carnival has remained at the level of just making money for the organizers and to appease state art councils which normally participate in the carnival as they normally put the carnival in their annual budgets.

    “Regrettably, from my interactions with the Abuja Hotel Owners’ Forum, the festival has no impact on their business since most participants from states normally stay in schools and hostels for the duration of the festival.”

    However, having said it, one needs to point out that the Abuja Carnival that was organized between last week and this week only shows that the gradual reversal of fortune that the festival has been going through in the last couple of years has reached a level that it has become an embarrassment to the country.

    There are many reasons for this. Unlike in the past when efforts were made to mobilise and sensitise Nigerians about the festival so that they would participate, no such thing was done. This led to the venue of the festival, Eagle Square, being empty. It was a show in which the participants were also the audience. The street float, one of the hallmarks of the carnival, was done on empty streets.

    If the aim of the festival was to attract inbound tourists, it was a woeful failure as no foreign visitor that would be travelling with his or her money would take off to Nigeria under such short notice.

    Severally, it has been pointed out that organizing such event that requires in-bound tourists needs long notice, a minimum of one year, but those at the helms at the Ministry of Tourism, Culture and National Orientation chose not to know. It seems the most important thing is that once there is an approval for the festival to be organised, then it has to go on no matter how poorly planned. Since it is organised with the aim of wooing tourists to Nigeria, organizers of the festival should give us the number of inbound tourists that came for the festival outside those countries invited by the government. If the Abuja residents did not come out for the festival as seen in the poor turn out and there were almost zero visitors from abroad, the question then is for who was the 2012 Abuja Carnival was held.

    The Abuja Carnival that was envisaged when the festival made a debut in 2005 during the Obasanjo government is far from what currently obtains. There are so many reasons for this. First, the uncertainty that has shrouded the festival in the last couple of years.

    However, in the last couple of years, the quality of the festival in terms of form and content has much nosedived. From all indications, this year’s event has further given fillip to those strongly canvassing that the festival should be scrapped as it is adding nothing to the tourism profile of the country which was the initial goal the festival set out to achieve when it was started. Rather all we have is a cobbled event organised with an eye to spend the allotted budget rather than adding value to the tourism industry.

    With the wastage that has become the hallmark of the Abuja Carnival and its current descent into mediocrity with little or no audience, the Federal Government’s quest to diversify the Nigeria’s economy from overdependence on oil will be better served, if the money currently expended in the Abuja Carnival is spent in making the Carnival Calabar better.

    Many stakeholders in tourism are of the opinion that if driving the tourist traffic into the country was the reason for the annual staging of the carnival, it has failed woefully and should be discontinued.

    The money for the festival could be better used in developing other critical subsectors of the tourism industry instead of spending it on a festival that is adding absolutely nothing to the country’s tourism development.

  • Flora forever (3)

    My words must have surprised her for she gazed at me in amazement.

    “A what?” she asked.

    “A P.A. Can you work as my personal assistant?” I repeated my question in case she didn’t hear me properly the first time.

    To my surprise, she burst out laughing.

    “What’s so funny? I’m offering you a job and all you can do is laugh?” I queried curtly.

    She shook her head.

    “Don’t get me wrong, Bari,” she stated. “It’s the whole idea that I find funny. I told you earlier that I didn’t finish school so how can I then work as a P.A? I’m sure you work in a very big firm. And having never worked in a corporate environment before, I will feel out of place and maybe make a lot of mistakes…”

    I placed a finger on my lips to shut her up.

    “It’s ok. I understand how you feel. You feel insecure, with little self-confidence because of what you went through with your ex-husband. But it’s time you put the past behind you and forged on with life. You are still young so you can have a fresh start. Learn to believe in yourself and there’s nothing you can’t achieve. And I will be there to help you all the way,” I assured her.

    She was silent for a while as she stared down at her hands in her lap.

    Then she looked up at me.

    “Alright,” she said quietly. “And thanks so much for your kindness,” she added softly.

    I smiled at her.

    “That’s alright. Just work hard so I don’t regret hiring you,” I said.

    “I will! So when do I start? And what does the job entail?” she asked excitedly.

    Two weeks later, Flora resumed for work at my office. I worked with an international aid organization that did a lot of projects in the country and other parts of Africa especially in the rural areas. As a projects director, I had to oversee the various projects we were doing, meet with the community leaders, beneficiaries and other things. It involved my travelling out of town frequently and I needed someone to co-ordinate all my activities.

    “There was a lady doing the job before but she left recently to join her husband in Canada,” I told Flora on her first day at work. She had showed up looking very smart in an ash-colored skirt suit with black shoes to match. She looked even more beautiful than usual.

    “This is the kind of work you will be doing…” I said, briefing her on her duties.

    “My secretary, Mary will make arrangements for an office space for you,” I said when I was through. “Do you know how to use a computer?” I asked her as she made to leave my office.

    “Yes, sir. My sister, Janet has one. She taught me how to use it,” she replied.

    “Good,” I stated nodding.

    “And Flora,” I said. “You don’t have to be so formal with me now, because we are in the office. You can continue to call me by my name as you’ve always done.”

    “But I can’t do that, sir. This is an office and it won’t be right if I call my boss by name. It will sound rude,” she noted.

    “Ok. But you will stop being so formal once we are outside these premises, won’t you?” I said.

    She nodded.

    “Alright, then. Go and meet Mary to sort out your office space and see me later,” I stated, turning on the computer on my desk to begin work.

    Nikki

    “So, how are you enjoying your new job? Hope my darling here is not overworking you, giving you too much stress,” stated Nikki to Flora. Nikki was my girlfriend of several years. She had broken off the relationship about a year before when she found out about another girl I was also seeing. But we had got back together about four months earlier and in that time, she had already started talking about our settling down.

    We were at my house having dinner, nearly five months after Flora began work. In that period, she had really impressed me with her capacity for hard work and her eagerness to learn. I had no regrets hiring her but I was curious to know how she felt about working with me.

    “I love the job. And Bari has been very good to me,” she said, turning to smile at me.

    “Ah, don’t be so diplomatic. You can say the truth, call him a slave master or whatever! He won’t fire you!” Nikki said teasingly.

    Flora laughed at that and I joined in too. It was good to see her looking so cheerful and confident, so unlike the girl I first met about six months earlier. It was a Friday and she was dressed casually in a light blue top and pair of jeans. Her long hair was combed up and styled in a knot at the back, a style that suited her well as it showed off her lovely face in all its glory.

    “Yes? You were saying something?” I said, tearing my gaze away from Flora to Nikki who was talking about something that happened at her office earlier that day…

    “Flora’s really beautiful,” Nikki commented. It was about an hour later. My driver had taken Flora home and Nikki and I were relaxing in the living room. I sat sipping a drink while she was stretched out on the couch, her head on my lap.

    “And she still looks so fresh. It’s hard to believe she’s been married and even had kids!” she added in a wondering tone.

    I glanced down at her.

    “You talk as if she’s a hundred years old. She’s still young. Just 26 or thereabouts,” I stated.

    “Beauty and brains,” Nikki noted. “You love her, don’t you?” she asked unexpectedly, looking up at me.

    “Of course I do! Like a younger sister,” I replied promptly.

    “But you don’t look at her like a brother would a sister. I see the way your eyes follow her, like that of …,” she began then stopped speaking.

    “What are you talking about? Don’t tell me you are jealous of the poor girl?” I queried.

    “Do you blame me? See the way she looks! And she’s with you all day long…” she grumbled.

    I began to laugh.

    “You think this is a joke?” she said with annoyance, sitting up and glaring at me.

    “You women are all the same! Too jealous! Flora’s just my P.A. I gave her the job because I felt sorry for her maybe because of the circumstances under which we met. The poor girl has really suffered. So, you have nothing to fear from her or any other woman. Trust me!” I said.

    “You mean that?” she said with a serious look in her eyes.

    “Yes, my jealous darling!” I said. Then jumping up, I put a CD in the sound system and soon, the plaintive sound of Enrique Inglesias’ hit tune ‘Hero’ filled the room.

    “Come on, baby! Dance with me!” I said, holding my arms out to her.

    She came then and I held her close to me. As we swayed to the music, her perfume filled my nostrils. But all I could think about was a lady in a blue top and jeans that showed off her rounded hips and a smile that could light up a dark room…

    ****

    “Welcome, sir! And how was your trip?” Flora said as I entered the large outer office where my secretary stayed. They had been chatting when I got in.

    “Fine. Have you all been well?’ I asked. I had been away to South Africa for a conference for about two weeks. I chatted with them for a while before going to my office.

    Flora came in later with some letters and documents for me. I gave her some gifts I brought from the trip and she sat admiring the beaded jewelry, clothes and other stuff I had got for her and her children.

    “Wow! These are lovely! Thanks so much, sir!” she said, smiling brightly at me.

    “How are the kids?” I enquired.

    “They are doing fine. They are home on holidays now,” she replied. “Good,” I said, looking at her closely, noticing the sparkle in her eyes that usually appeared when she was happy. Seeing her again made me realize how much I had missed her. During the trip to S.A, she was on my mind most of the time, superseding thoughts of Nikki. Was Nikki right after all, that I was beginning to have feelings for Flora? How did that happen and when? I shook my head to clear such thoughts from my mind…

    About a month later, I had to travel to our branch office in Ghana and I took Flora along to assist me in the work I would do there. Considering the incidents that took place during the trip, it was perhaps, not a very good idea to have taken her with me…

    To be continued

    Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals

    What went down between Flora and Bari in Ghana? Book your copy of the Nation for the exciting details next Saturday! Send comments to 08023201831 (sms only) or psaduwa@yahoo.com