Category: Weekend Treat

  • Crime of passion (3)

    ‘A moment of patience in a moment of anger can help us avoid a thousand moments of sorrow.’ (Anonymous)

    I looked up from the letter and stared at my boss, too shocked to speak.

    Finally I blurted out nervously:

    “Sir, is this a joke or what?”

    “Joke, ke! Do I look like Ali Baba?” he stated with a wry smile.

    But he became sober when he saw the serious, anxious look on my face.

    “Look, Ray. I know this must come to you as a surprise. But the management believes you are the best person for the job. It will be good for your career growth so I will advise you to see it as an opportunity and accept the offer,” he said.

    I was barely listening to him. I kept thinking of the implication of what was in the letter. It stated that I had been transferred out of the country, to oversee our branches in Ghana as well as Cote d’Ivoire as the Regional cum Sales Manager. More than anything, it was the suddenness of it all that so shocked me. There had been no hint whatsoever that this was coming, no sign at all. ‘How can I just be sent out of the country just like that on cross-border posting without warning’, I thought with some resentment.

    The first thought that came to me was to decline the offer. I had never been to those countries, didn’t know anyone there, so how was I going to cope? Besides, there was my wife, Grace and my son. And Jake too and my parents and siblings. How could I leave my family and friends behind and go to a strange place with strange people?

    “People are only strangers until you get to know them,” Grace said latter that evening. I had broken the news to her as soon as I got home.

    We had been discussing or rather arguing over the issue for the past hour or so. She was in favor of my accepting the posting.

    “It shows the company values your services. It’s a serious position and it’s not anyone they can give it to. They chose you. That means something,” she pointed out.

    I could see her point but I was not ready to give in yet.

    “But I don’t know anyone there. How will I cope with total strangers, in a strange land?” I stated grumpily. And the argument had gone on and on…

    “Truth is that I can’t bear the thought of being parted from you and Robert. I will miss you too much,”I finally said. We were in our bedroom then, preparing for bed. Grace had just taken a shower and was sitting at her dressing table, applying cream on her body.

    I laid back on the bed, a scowl on my face.

    “We will both miss you too, honey. But this is a golden chance for us. For our family. You shouldn’t miss it,” she said. She got up then, and slipped her nightie over her head. I felt a warm stirring in my body at the sight of her. Even after all these years of being together, I still found my wife irresistible.

    Slipping into bed with me, she said quietly:

    “So, you will take the offer, won’t you?” she asked.

    By then, I had other things on my mind that had nothing to do with my transfer.

    “Yes, darling. I will. If that’s what you want,” I stated quickly as I drew her to me and buried my face in her full bosom…

    ******

    A few weeks later, all was set for my journey to my new base. It was agreed that Grace, who taught at a school in town would be visiting with our son during the holidays.

    “Call as soon as you arrive Accra,” Grace said as Jake prepared to take me to the airport. She had refused to accompany me with the excuse that, “I don’t want to create a scene at the airport by crying too much!”

    I arrived safely and immediately resumed work. Within a few months, I had settled down in the city and was beginning to enjoy the place. It was well-organised and less stressful than where I was coming from. I missed home though especially Grace. Infact, the highlight of my day was when I spoke with her after closing from work.

    I called her so often the phone bill for the first few months of my arrival was quite high.

    “At this rate, we will go bankrupt because of the high phone bill,” she said teasingly one day.

    “I don’t care. Listening to your voice makes our separation more bearable,” I noted.

    “It’s only for a short while. We will be coming over in two weeks, remember,” she said. Her school was closing for the long vacation soon and she was coming with Robert to join me in Accra.

    I asked after some family members and later Jake.

    “Ah, Jake has been wonderful! He checks on us regularly and he even took Robert to the park last week. He’s such a caring person,” she enthused.

    I felt immense relief at her words. The thought that my best friend was keeping an eye on my family made me feel less anxious about leaving them all alone while I was in a foreign country, working.

    My work, which I enjoyed took most of my time. The company’s products were in high demand so I did not have too much trouble pushing them. With the approval of head office in Lagos, I made some changes in our operations. I rented a large warehouse near the popular Makola market in the Tudu area of the city. The reason being that a lot of our customers were based in the market and its environs so it was more convenient for them if the products were close by and readily available.

    With time, I opened a new branch in Takoradi with plans to expand to Kumasi and other places later in the year. Once a month, I would travel to Abidjan to check on our branch in the city. At first, the language barrier was a problem as I did not speak French or any of their local dialects. Later, I employed a man who spoke English and that took care of the problem. And with each visit, I began to pick up some French. The country was just then recovering from a civil war, with economic activities gradually picking up. Though sales were slow at first, I knew that with time, things would pick up.

    At the end of my first year abroad, I was enjoying myself so much in my new post, that I wondered why I had been so reluctant to take up the posting initially.

    “I’m not sure I want to return to Nigeria soon,” I said to Jake one day. He had called to tell me that he would be coming to spend his leave with me in Accra in a few weeks.

    “I can’t believe it! Were you not the same person who was so reluctant to go there in the first place! What happened?” he queried.

    “Nothing much,” I replied. “It’s just that I like the place and I’m enjoying my work here,” I added.

    “Is that all? Are you sure you’ve not fallen for another woman over there?” he stated.

    “Fall for who? You think I’m like you who falls in and out of love every two months. You know there’s only one woman for me-Grace. Others don’t exist for me,”I said firmly.

    “Ah, come on Ray! You are my friend. I won’t tell a soul, least of all Grace. So, what’s her name and what does she look like? Is she pretty? What does she do…?” he asked persistently.

    “Are you deaf or what? It’s nothing like that. I just…” I started to say when he butted in.

    “You think you can fool me? I will find out soon enough when I come,” he promised.

    ‘Idiot,’ I thought as the call ended, smiling wryly at the thought of my friend with his one way mind…

    In the rebels enclave

    I had been in Accra for about two years when another war broke out in Cote d’Ivoire. Tension had been brewing in the country for some months after the elections but most people did not think it would lead to renewed hostilities between the warring forces in the past war.

    Unluckily for us, we had just sent a large consignment of our products to the country, awaiting distribution. I needed to be there to oversee things and also arrange for the remitting of money from sales of the past months that had accumulated in our bank accounts.

    I tried calling my supervisor, Francois to give instructions on how to secure the goods but I could not reach him on phone. The goods were worth millions and I could not allow them to be destroyed as well as our other investments in the country. Based on that, I decided to travel to the country.

    “But sir, it might be dangerous for you. We heard on the news that there’s fighting in Abidjan,” my secretary, Ama protested when I told her of my plans.

    I waved her fears aside.

    “It can’t be that bad. At least people are still living there,”I stated, trying to make a joke of the situation.

    All flights to Abidjan had been cancelled so I made arrangements to travel across the border by road. At the border town Elubo, few vehicles were willing to cross over to the other side.

    The crises in the neighboring country had deterred many of the drivers who usually plied the route from working.

    A Nigerian I met at the border, was able to link me with a driver he knew who still ferried passengers across the border, though at more than thrice the normal fare.

    We had crossed the border safely and even passed Noe, the Ivorien border town when the driver turned off the main road. He explained that rebel soldiers had taken over some portions of the road and he was going to pass through side roads that were safer.

    We had been driving on the side road for nearly an hour without incident, when we suddenly heard gun shots. Then, a group of men in camouflage uniform dashed from the surrounding bushes some metres away from our bus. The driver, perhaps in panic applied the breaks, and turning round shouted at us, the passengers to run into the bush. We didn’t need a second warning.

    We all ran out and fled into the thick bush. Behind us, I could hear the soldiers shooting and shouting at us. They were obviously chasing after us and my heart pumped with fear as I ran wildly away. The thought of dying in this strange place propelled me forward. At a point, I turned round to glance behind me and it was then I ran into a tree head on…

    I must have blacked out for I woke up sometime later in strange surroundings. As it turned out, I was in a camp of the rebel soldiers. I had been caught with some of the passengers in the bus and taken to their camp.

    I was to remain in that place for the next eight months. Though, the soldiers treated us fairly well, we were made to do all kinds of jobs for them. We became their cooks, cleaners, washermen and did other odd jobs around the camp. Some of the women prisoners became their bedmates.

    All the time I was in the camp, my thoughts were full of Grace, wondering what she must be going through. Did she and the rest of my friends, family and colleagues think I was dead since I got missing? From the little news we got in the camp, we heard that a lot of people had died in the war. I was determined to stay alive and not become one of the statistics in the war. I prayed that one day, I would be reunited with my beloved wife.

    That thought and the instinct for survival inherent in every human kept me sane in the camp.

    Then, one morning, we woke up to find the camp deserted by the rebels. Later, we heard that they had got advance warning from another unit that government forces were about to raid the camp. We all danced with jubilation at our freedom.

    We were later transported to a refugee camp in Abidjan run by an international charity organization. I tried calling home to tell them about my whereabouts, that I was alive and well. But communication in the country was bad because of the war.

    With the help of the organization, I was able to get some money with which I travelled back to Nigeria. As the cab that drove me home drew nearer my street that night, my heart beat in anticipation at being reunited with my family. I could imagine the look of surprise and joy on my wife’s face when she saw me. I smiled at the thought, my heart brimming with happiness.

    The front door was open when I arrived with the lights on. Thinking she had gone to bed and forgot to lock up, I headed straight for the bedroom.

    As I quietly opened the door, it was the soft moans I first heard, then the sight of my wife in bed with a man…

    •To be continued

    •Who’s the mystery man Ray caught his wife in bed with? Details next Saturday!

    •Names have been changed to protect the narrator’s identity.

    •Send comments/suggestions to 08023201831(sms only) or psaduwa@yahoo.com.

  • Making her feel special

    1. Acknowledge special occasions. Be sure you’re ready with a card and a gift when her birthday rolls around, or it’s time to celebrate Christmas or Valentine’s Day. Marking these and other occasions with tokens of love and appreciation are a great way to make a woman feel special. Remember, too, that right or wrong, her family and friends will likely ask her what you got her or how the two of you celebrated.

    Don’t put your woman on the spot by forcing her to lie or to admit that you let the occasion pass without recognition.

    2. Celebrate your anniversary. Anniversaries are like mini-time machines—they allow the two of you to relive an important event (your wedding day, your first date, etc.) They’re a chance to re-experience the special emotion created in and by that moment. Show the woman in your life that you value that event and all that’s happened since, by doing something special on your anniversary. If you can afford it and your wife or girlfriend would enjoy it, go ahead and do something extravagant. But what can be most meaningful is a card or a conversation in which you reminisce about the good times and the growth of your relationship and your happiness.

    3. Give thoughtful gifts. Gifts that come from the heart are among the most appreciated. Put some time and thought into choosing something your woman would love or make something for her yourself.

    When you invest that kind of time and thought into gift giving, she can’t help but be touched.

    4. Give flowers. Not every woman is a sucker for flowers, but the majority really do appreciate a bouquet, especially if it’s being given for no particular reason. Bring flowers on your next date or have them delivered to her home or workplace if that’s appropriate. A card that says simply “Thinking of you” is enough to bring a smile to her face.

    5. Mention her to your friends. If she’s important to you, your friends should know it. That doesn’t mean that you have to go on and on about her (and never discuss what happens in the bedroom with your friends), but making it clear that she’s an important part of your life will make her feel special versus make her feel like someone you want to hide or keep from your friends.

  • Treat your woman well to get a joyful sound in the bedroom

    Dear Hearts, thanks for your inspiring write-ups. I have a problem with the assumption that all the problem men have in the bedroom is from their wives. I read a book titled Marriage Takes More Than Love.

    Most couples are not enjoying their sexual relations because they have no other meaningful interaction. No communication, some of the women are overworked and never appreciated. Romance is signaled by a hand reaching out in the dark, this same hand did not reach out in friendship all through the day. Should someone moan by effort or as a reaction to pleasure? Do you know the percentage of women who do not know what sexual pleasure is? The issues are many. Keep up the good work, some will learn through this avenue. Please leave my phone number out. I am a writer too.

    Thanks, dear sister. You’re right. This calls for a big discourse and that is what we’re doing today. Nice knowing u.

    The articles below have been edited by Kedrian James, Ben Rubenstein, Flickety, Sondra C and 75 others, all on how to treat women well. I hope our men are reading.

    Treating a woman well requires a combination of common courtesy and uncommon acts of love and kindness. Follow the steps below, and soon you’ll woman will see you for what you are: one of the good guys.

    1. Being a Good Communicator. Communicate your feelings. Some men underestimate the importance of telling a woman how they feel. In many cases, men prefer to use actions rather than words to communicate their feelings. If that sounds like you, you should know that women need to hear “I love you” from time to time, so make it a point to express that sentiment. If you have trouble saying the words, try writing a note or getting a card to let her know how you feel.

    The good news: turns out that men are more often the ones to declare feelings of love first in a relationship. Research has determined that men take only 88 days to tell their partner they love them (compared to a woman’s 134 days.

    Watch your timing. Women prefer to hear “I love you” after sex rather than before. It could be they distrust the words a bit if they’re uttered before sex as it makes them wonder if your saying “I love you” simply to get some action.

    2. Be a good listener. Everyone—not only women—wants to be heard. If you know how to listen, your woman will greatly appreciate it, and the bond between you two will grow. Try these tips to be a better listener.

    Get rid of distractions. That might mean turning off the ballgame or ignoring the text you just got. Try to keep from interrupting unless the question is crucial to your understanding of the situation.

    Putting your focus completely on your woman shows her that she’s important and that you value and are interested in what she has to say.

    Read non-verbal cues. Gestures, facial expressions and eye-movements can all be important. Don’t just listen with your ears but also with your eyes so you can gain greater insight into what she’s feeling.

    See things from her point of view. Your girlfriend or wife may be upset about something that would never trouble you, or she might describe a scenario you can’t imagine being a part of—but you have to try. Put yourself in her shoes to try to understand what she’s communicating more clearly. Even if you don’t agree with her reaction or her opinion, keep an open mind and let her know that in any dispute you’re always on her side.

    Refrain from solving the problem. When a woman is talking through a problem she’s facing, a man’s first response is to jump in and try to solve it. That impulse comes from a good place, but it’s not what a woman wants. She simply wants to be heard, so refrain from coming to the rescue with a solution for the situation. If she does ask your opinion about what she should do, feel free to offer your suggestions, but don’t be offended if she chooses a different course of action.

    3. Ask her how she’s feeling. In many cases, you’ll know exactly how the woman in your life is feeling, but sometimes, especially when a relationship is new, you’ll have to ask. Researchers in a study published in the journal PLOS showed men images of eyes belonging to men and women and discovered that it was twice as difficult for the men to accurately guess what women were feeling as it was for them to guess what the men were feeling. They also took longer attempting to interpret the women’s eyes.

    4. Fight fair. Even the closest of couples will have arguments; what’s important is how you talk to your woman during those disagreements. Do not call names or make threats or use physical intimidation.

    When the fight is over, don’t hold on to hurt feelings; reach out and meet your woman halfway in making up.

  • Lara Banjoko lies low

    Long before the subsidy fraud scandal that rocked the oil and gas industry, Lara Banjo, a former top manager at Spog Petroleum, has been one of the most enduring big babes with cult following in the industry. She is one of the few ladies blessed with remarkable brain, beauty and confidence that make her to hold her own in the global oil industry.

    It is no surprise, therefore, that she is one of the most sought-after female experts in the industry. In fact, not a few chief executives believe that she holds the magic wand that can turn the fortunes of any moribund petroleum company around. She was working with Oando Plc before she left for Honeywell Group sometime back. Because of her adventurous nature, she joined Spog Petroleum as a top manager.

    After spending a few months in Spog, she left in a controversial way and have since been out of circulation.

  • Bringing the romance

    1. Understand that little things mean a lot. While big romantic gestures may have their place, it’s the little things that show a woman how much she means to you. Thoughtful acts like bringing her a cup of coffee in the morning or putting air in her car tires are very concrete ways of saying “I love you” without you having to utter a word. Be consistent. Show her in some way each day that you’re thinking of her and trying to make her life a bit easier and happier.

    2. Send a message. Scratch out a quick note, send her a text or fire off an email to let her know you’re thinking of her. If she has a big day coming up—a job interview, a presentation at work—send her a message of encouragement and support.

    3. Give compliments. You may never have to answer the question, “Do these pants make my butt look big?” if you’re quick to compliment your woman on her appearance. Dispel any insecurities by saying nice things about parts of her body she might feel less than great about, and don’t forget to compliment the things you find most attractive about her. Don’t underestimate the impact of a simple “You look beautiful”—that pretty much says it all. If you do get the “Do these pants make my butt look big?” question, the correct answer is always

    “No.” We all like to be recognized for the things that make us special, so compliment your woman for being who she is. Is she creative, fascinating, funny? Do you admire her achievements and her outlook on life? Tell her! And be sure to look her straight in the eye when you do so.

    4. Follow her lead. Initially, let the woman set the pace for your physical relationship. No woman wants to feel pressured to have sex before she’s ready, and everyone has a different timetable for being ready. Let her know how you feel, but back off (without pouting) if she wants to wait before getting intimate.

    5. Embrace foreplay. Physiologically, experts agree that foreplay is an important part of sexual health. In fact, an Australian study found that the majority of women are more aroused by the idea of foreplay than sex itself. Hold, touch and caress your partner, play games or talk dirty. If you’re not sure what your woman likes, ask. Just do it outside the bedroom. It’s easier to have that conversation if you’re not just about to have sex.

  • Hajiya Bamanga-Tukur hits golden age

    For Hajiya Fatima Bamanga-Tukur, this is a period of celebration and gratitude to God for attaining the landmark age of 50. The youngest wife of PDP National Chairman, Alhaji Bamanga Tukur, attains the golden age this weekend.

    Àlthough she has kept her cards close to her chest as to whether she will be throwing open her doors for people to celebrate with her, family members and friends are waiting earnestly for the day. The fair-complexioned lady, who does not look a day older than 40, has every reason to be thankful to her Maker for her ravishingly youthful looks, if nothing else.

    Ask her the secrets of her good looks, and the modest lady would not hesitate to attribute it to the grace of God and her peaceful lifestyle.

    The envy of a lot of women, Fatima won the heart of the PDP chairman about five years ago. And while her husband might have other wives, Fatima, the youngest of them, seems to hold the centre of the man’s heart. She is hardly seen at social events, but her profile has been on the rise, particularly since her husband became the national chairman of the PDP.

     

  • Yinka Taiga resurfaces

    Just when she seemed to have fizzled out in the minds of many, Yinka Taiga, wife of Oloorogun Moses Taiga, who took a sabbatical leave from the social scene, made a sudden reappearance a few days ago. After a long absence from the radar, Yinka’s looks betray all that had been written about her.

    She had recoiled into her shell after a lady named Mercy was linked to her husband. Yinka, the mother of Oloorogun’s famous quadruplet popularly known as the Taiga Squad, refused to be drawn into the ensuing drama, preferring to concentrate on nurturing her babies and allowing the Oloorogun to permanently extinguish the acrid flames from his past.

  • The Page Night Club rebrands

    It might have come as a shock to many fun lovers and patrons of The Page Night Club when they drove past their favourite fun spot situated in Opebi, Ikeja, Lagos only to see a closed sign hanging at the entrance. Contrary to the conclusions many have drawn that this popular club has closed down for good, The Page Night Club is far from leaving the night life business, they are instead re-branding which is essential for any business venture.

    The Page Night Club, owned by Chris Erondu, is arguably one of the most popular night clubs in Lagos Mainland. The night club has operated in Lagos for more than seven years, providing exciting atmosphere for partying and offering authentic drinks. Little wonder it is the favourite of many A-list socialites, celebrities and party lovers in general.

    But the night club is currently undergoing a multi-million naira renovation; a move some of its officials said was aimed at serving customers better. Ardent lovers of the night club may not have to wait for too long as Celeb Watch authoritatively gathered that in three months time, it will once again throw its doors open to fun seekers.

    “We can assure you that our customers are the sole reason for this rebranding effort. They cannot be prepared enough for the transformation The Page is about to bring upon the social scene,” a source at the club boasted.

  • Showing respect

    1. Behave like a gentleman. Kiss her at the door and hug if possible.

    Some of these behaviors might be labeled “old fashioned” or even be frowned on in the workplace, but if your woman feels comfortable with it, engage in some extra courtesies to make things a little easier and more comfortable for her.

    2. Be polite. Women like to hear “please” and “thank you.” Even if you’ve been dating a while or married a long time, don’t throw manners out the window. Show her the same thoughtfulness you’d show anyone else. Avoid using profanity. Never use profanity or offensive slang to refer to your woman, even if you’re just kidding. If you hold her in high regard, be sure your language reflects that.

    3. Don’t change or break plans. If it’s an emergency or the change is completely unavoidable, of course you can break a date, but be sure to give as much advance notice as possible and offer a very good explanation and an apology.

    4. Be on time. If you’re running late, call as soon as you can to let her know. Everyone’s time is valuable, and being somewhere when you say you will is just common courtesy. Resist the impulse to put off calling because you fear your woman will be angry. She might be, but chances are she’ll be even angrier if you’re not in touch.

    5. Treat her family well. Even if she says that she’s not close with her family, always be respectful toward them and avoid criticizing them. Family bonds can be strong, and parents and siblings can influence a woman’s decision to date or dump a guy.

    If a woman has children, be friendly toward them and do your best to get to know them. Women are quick to say good-bye to men who do not treat their children with kindness. Don’t ever overstep your bounds and try to parent or discipline her kids; leave that to the woman in your life.

    6. Avoid jealousy. Being jealous of male friends, co-workers and exes without good reason tells a woman that you consider her to be deceitful and of low moral character. Not a message you want to send to someone you care for.

    7. Help around the house. If you two live together, pitch in on chores. Both of you are responsible for the housework. Don’t expect her to constantly pick up after you. One of the surest ways to a woman’s heart is with a vacuum cleaner in one hand and a box of laundry detergent in the other.

  • Kojo Anan turns 40, goes off social radar

    Kojo Anan turns 40, goes off social radar

    Kojo Anan is the only son of the former Secretary-General of the United Nations, Kofi Anan, and his wife, Titi Alakija. Blessed with good looks, charm and wealth, Kojo is a man with almost everything at his disposal.

    The fun-loving dude turns 40 in a few weeks, and the social firmament is waiting for his initiation into the league of 40-year-olds.

    The list of silver-spoon kids would not be complete without a mention of this handsome young man. Having grown up in Ikoyi, Lagos, he maintains thea same standing with other Lagos big boys like the Ladi Baloguns, the Maje Ayidas, the Laolu Sarakis and the Abi Kukus, to mention a few.

    But one thing that makes Kojo different is his refusal to take a plunge into marriage. Although he was rumoured to be waving goodbye to bachelorhood sometime in 2012, the rumour has definitely not seen the light of day.

    With 40 comes great responsibilities, and Kojo seems to share this belief as he seems to have abandoned his penchant for high society parties. As he now turns down virtually every invitation to social events, it could be safe to say that his active days on the social radar are numbered.

    The graduate of Keele University appears to be taking life more seriously. With the look of things, marriage may feature prominently on the calendar of the highly eligible bachelor in the near future.