The Nation Newspaper

Category: Glamour

  • BIWOM: All I wanted was to be heard on TV

    Okudare Marytonette Awhobiwom known as Biwom is an afro vibe artist, talkshow host and actress. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she opens up on her desire to be a Nollywood actress, how she was stopped by her family, rediscovering her talent in music, hosting a talkshow and her recent performance for Big Brother Nigeria.

    What or who inspired you to go into talkshow and music?

    I just stumbled into music as an unintended result of my mom’s parenting. I was 14 and straight out of high school. I loved acting and performing and all I wanted was to be heard and seen on TV as an actress. Even though music had always been a part of me, I just never realised it. I used to sing in the Teens choir, play the drums and the keyboard.

    One day, I got news that Nollywood was coming to my town to audition for a series that was going to air on AIT. I was super excited, so I auditioned and I got cast. When my aunts heard of it, they called my mom and asked her why she would let me do that at such a young age and they concluded I was out to disgrace the family.

    So in order to prevent me from going on with the shoot, the following day I was bundled and sent off to my aunt’s house to spend my holiday. It was at my aunt’s house when I discovered that music was it for me. Because that was all I had at the time.

    What are some of the things that you have done?

    I have had two official singles released alongside videos. Faya was my first official single and it was released in mid 2018. That was followed by G-Wagon which was released in 2019. The song was produced by Krizbeat and the video was directed by Clarence Peters.

    I also performed at the recently concluded Big Brother Naija Finale. I performed in the BBN house at the last house party alongside DJ Obi and I performed at the finale screening in front of all the BBN sponsors, partners and fans. Both are my biggest performances to date.

    When was the turning point for you?

    Looking back, I would say that my turning point was in March 2019 when I got signed to Xcelar Music Group. It was a big turning point for me as it came at a time when I thought nothing good was going to happen anymore. I had hit rock bottom.

    Tell us about some memorable moments on air

    I was on my media tour in Calabar and it was a night show and I didn’t even know a lot of people would even tune in. This old lady called the phones and asked to speak with me and when I spoke with her, she then prayed for me. It was like she just called in to pray for me. That was really memorable for me and of course performing live on Big Brother Naija in front of millions of people is a moment that will stick with me for life.

    What were you doing before this and what was the experience like?

    Well, before music I was just a regular law student who thoroughly hated school and just wanted to be free to do my entertainment thing in peace. The experience wasn’t great because I felt coerced. It was so bad that even my lecturers constantly begged me to transfer to the theatre arts department.

    Let’s talk about the things that inspire you

    I am mostly inspired by people’s stories and people’s experiences. Sometimes even the weirdest of things inspire me. This includes things like sounds from video games, cartoon characters, the sound of rain. Anything at all, my mind is always searching and my ears are always open.

    Did you encounter some challenges along the line?

    For me, I would say that the major challenges were lack of support from family, and lack of funds to push. It was bad enough that I didn’t have my family’s support; not having any money at all to push your art as an independent artist can be really challenging. Halfway along the line, I almost gave up, but I always reminded myself that there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.

    Another challenge is acceptance and that’s because, as a female artist, I have to work twice as hard as the other artists to be heard. The industry kind of wants you to be someone else and I am really all about being myself. I believe I can still be who I am and still get appreciated for my talent.

    How do you cope with them?

    I just kept doing me. Putting in work and praying for God to finish what He started.

    Who or what do you consider as the greatest influence in your life and career?

    My biggest influence when I think about being a screen goddess was Tonto Dikeh. I wanted to be just like her. For music, the group “Styl Plus” played a huge role in influencing and inspiring me.

    Let’s compare when you started doing this and now, what has changed?

    A lot has changed big time. Back in my town, I used to audition for shows, beg for studio sessions because I couldn’t afford a session. I even used to beg to perform in shows without getting paid because I just wanted to be heard. Things are a lot different now and I can only pray for continuous progress.

    In what ways has this changed your lifestyle?

    In a few ways. I am still pretty much myself except that I am more conscious now. I am in the public eye, so a lot more thought goes into a lot of things, like my appearance. And more people have an opinion about me and the things I do. But it comes with the territory, so I just stay focused on the music.

    What are some of the changes that you would like to see in the entertainment sector?

    I would love to see a lot more females in the scene. I would also like to see unity amongst everyone; you know, like people supporting each other without feeling like it’ll cost them. Not everything has to be a competition. I am sure there’s enough space in the sky for everyone to fly.

    What are some of the lessons that you have learnt?

    I have learnt to be patient, I have learnt not to give up on what you truly believe in. It might take a while but it’ll definitely work out if you continue to put in work. I have learned to trust God even more; He has a plan. He always does.

    What is your definition of style?

    Style for me is a person’s appearance; something that is distinct and particular to them. It’s like a visual representation of one’s self.

    What are the things that you won’t do in the name of fashion?

    I love to dress up, get my hair done nicely and just mix and match. I love the art of dressing up and I love to look good all the time.

    What are some of the things that you treasure most in life?

    I treasure my life above every other thing. I just want to live long and make the most out of the time I have. My peace of mind and my mental space comes next. I also treasure my family and my loved ones.

    How do you relax?

    Sleep does it for me. I love my sleep; it relaxes me. The beach does it for me too; the sound of waves has an extremely calming effect on me.

    Tell us about the turning point in your career

    The turning point for me in my career was when I met the chairman Xcelar Music Group. That day, he called me a superstar in his office after only just meeting me for the first time. That, for me, was God’s plan. It was by design and that day my career took a new turn.

    You performed at the just concluded Big Brother Africa event. How would you describe the event?

    It was really unreal for me. I am a huge fan of the show and I always wanted to be on the show. I even auditioned once. I never thought I would get a chance to perform on the show, I always thought I would go in as a housemate but Instead I performed for the housemates and it was just such a wow experience for me. They all vibed to my songs and I got so much love.

    Who or what inspires you?

    Honestly a lot of people inspire me; actually, their success stories do. But what inspires me the most is my life, my journey. I am my biggest example and the biggest proof that dreams do come true.

    What is your assessment of Nigerian women in the entertainment sector?

    Well, I feel like women have always been very present in the Nigerian entertainment scene. In Nollywood there’s been a bunch of women doing the most but I can’t say the same for the music scene. Women here have to work extra hard to even be noticed or accepted. Even though that is changing now, I feel like why it’s like that is simply because the females don’t really support each other like the guys do. When we support each other more, we’ll do better.

    What are the things you treasure most in life?

    The things I treasure most in my life are my sanity, my peace of mind, my family and loved ones and my dreams. My dreams are like my children; they are conceived and born by me and I cherish and protect them and constantly fuel them because they hold my future.

  • Collins Balogun celebrates birthday in style

    By Olushola Victor

    Last Saturday, all roads led to Presken Hotel & Resort, Opebi, Ikeja, Lagos, for the 40th birthday bash of Collins Balogun, who is the Managing Partner, Advanced Concrete Technologies (ACT).

    While there was a need to celebrate, Balogun insisted that he still had a lot to achieve. He stated: “For me, life begins at 40. I don’t record downfalls in my life. Those things people take as downfalls, I see as experiences and I learn from them. I do not share the sentiment that if given another opportunity, I would love to do certain things differently. I still plan to do more for my country by providing employment opportunities and supporting businesses.”

    Among the top personalities spotted at the celebration was Feyisetan Fayose, wife of the former Governor of Ekiti State, Ayodele Fayose. Describing Balogun as a son, the former Ekiti First Lady prayed for him and promised to always stand by him.

  • Okubanjo plans for thanksgiving

    By Olushola VICTOR

    The General Overseer, Church of Evangelism, Lekki/Epe Expressway, Lagos, Rev. Edith Okubanjo, has concluded plans for the church’s annual congress on November 10.

    Tagged ‘My Year of Multiple Restoration,’ the week-long event will commence with a workers’ retreat and end with a thanksgiving service on Sunday, November 10.

    Okubanjo said that the annual congress was a special instruction from God in place of the annual conference. She added: “The congress is aimed at winning souls and to glorify the name of Jesus. It is a platform in which God’s blessings will be poured out to his people.”

  • Kensington Adebutu marks first birthday as Odole Oodua

    By Olushola VICTOR

    This is an exciting time for Chief Kessington Adebutu, fondly known as Baba Ijebu. Last week, in a massive ceremony, he was installed as the new Odole Oodua of Yorubaland. On Thursday, too, he celebrated his 84th birthday.

    At his coronation everyone was certain he is the man for the job. After the traditional rite was performed, he received Ooni of Ife, Oba Adeyeye Ogunwusi’s blessings.

    The Ooni, who had no doubt in Adebutu’s ability, explained that he was picked for the position so as to unite the Yoruba race and promote the culture.

    The Odole Odua also admitted that although he had received many titles, this was special and different.

    The ceremony was attended by top figures in Yorubaland. People who couldn’t make it were ably represented. Spotted at the ceremony were Vice President Yemi Osinbajo, Olusegun Osoba, Aare Gani Adams, Chief Dele Momodu, Former President Olusegun Obasanjo, Ogbeni Rauf Aregbesola, Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu of Lagos, Governor Dapo Abiodun of Ogun State, among others. Before his recent installation, however, Adebutu has been involved in selfless efforts at ensuring peace and unification of the Yoruba race.

  • Oba Omoniyi’s daughter, Olufumilayo, quits singlehood

    By Olushola VICTOR

    The city of Ilorin, Kwara State, witnessed a royal wedding last Saturday when the Olusin of Ijara Isin, Oba Amos Omoniyi’s daughter, Obafunmilayo, tied the knot with her other half, Olubayo Oginni.

    The engagement party was held on Friday, October 19, at SRV Events, Ilorin, while the grand finale took place the next day at Atlantic Hall, Ilorin. Also, the white wedding took place at Living Faith Church, Gaa-Imam, Ilorin.

    It was gathered that Oginni dated Olufunmilayo for four years. They had met at a friend’s wedding in Ilorin.

    The groom’s parents, Prince and Princess Oluwole Oginni, are from the royal family of Iwoye, Ijesha, Osun State, and they came highly prepared for the October occasion.

  • Dele Momodu remembers Osoba

    By Olushola VICTOR

    It is always nice to remember people who helped you on your way to the top. Despite reaching the pinnacle in the media industry, Ovation magazine publisher, Chief Dele Momodu, is not an ingrate who has forgotten a man who was so influential in his journey.

    At the ceremony to install the new Odole Oodua, Momodu showed an impressive level of humility by describing former Ogun State Governor, Olusegun Osoba, as his boss. While he didn’t give details, he said Osoba taught him many things in journalism and he remained indebted to him.

    He further stated that he was certain that Chief Kessington Adebutu would do well in his new position because of the support of persons like former President Olusegun Obasanjo and Osoba.

    Although Osoba didn’t say a word after the remark, his gesture was that of a happy and contented man. He clapped in appreciation of all that Momodu said.

  • Glamour with Aso oke attire

    By Kehinde OLULEYE

    THERE is no doubt it is the hottest dress for special occasions at the moment; it’s hot and haute. The designs and artwork on most of these aso oke fabrics are sexy, classic and stylish. One interesting thing about fashion items is that they have a way of bouncing back.  Aso oke fabric of various hues, lengths and sizes are still hot items; they are rave of the moment. There are several features that make aso oke fashion unique. But one major reason why they standout is that they offer the wearer an elegance which no other dress can offer. They are always very comfortable to rock.

    Many women now grace social events, parties, wedding ceremonies, cocktails, even church services with aso oke of different lengths. And the good thing about aso oke fashion these days is that it can be worn at any function; as office, informal or formal wears. There is nothing like a touch of aso oke dress to give you a sparkling effect. It is the queen of style at the moment. It’s now a must-have item among young and old fashionistas.

  • DAMILOLA OTUBANJO – The crown gave me drive to do bigger things

    Damilola Otubanjo is the first winner of the Sisi Oge pageant in 2007. She is also a designer, skin care expert and CEO of Milolar. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she opens up on life as a designer, memorable moments as a beauty queen and more. 

    HOW has the journey from pageantry to being a designer being?

    I emerged as the first Sisi Oge In 2007. It was a phenomenal experience for me and it did a lot for me in terms of exposure. In terms of coming to the awareness of who I am at the time in the industry. And I didn’t even know that I had that capacity and so it was a good thing for me.

    How did you get into the pageant?

    I just saw the advert while I was driving and I thought why can’t I do it. Then it was Cultural and so it wasn’t about beauty alone, looking slim and skinny like most beauty pageants at that time. So, it was something that looked like I could identify with , it was African and about promoting the African culture. I just thought of doing it and I took the forms and I started preparing for it.

    What was the experience like preparing for the pageant?

    It wasn’t difficult, it was just normal. I didn’t want to go for it by myself. So, I got a friend of mine to do it with me and we just went for it together.

    Was that the first pageant that you ever did?

    Yes, that was my very first experience with beauty pageants and that was also my last?

    Why did you run?

    I just thought I had done it and I had experienced it. So, I was content. I didn’t see the need to run for another crown. Rather, it gave me the drive to do bigger things and pursue other calls.

    So, what happened immediately after that?

    I started a Non Governmental Organisation that I registered that I called the Pink Doll Initiative. It is about women and young people , inspiring young people and training young people to support them , to identify with their issues . It was also an organisation giving a voice to people living with HIV/AIDs. We were running an advocacy for HIV and AIDs at the time. So, it was pretty much about that. I had done a lot of trainings for people in secondary schools, university graduates just to support young people, to give them structure and to give them a voice.

    What are some of the memorable experience from that NGO?

    I loved what I did and I would always do it again. My NGO is not active at the moment but it is something I intend to go back to. It was about touching life. It was about extending a hand to them and being able to touch lives in the process. It was also to identify with people that had issues and challenges and know that if you are given a privilege, be at an advantage. Don’t consider yourself as the best. Or rather if you are given the mantle of leadership, authority and responsibility to be able to be a voice for change. Or to be able to be a channel of blessing to people. To be able to support all people and see yourself as an apostle in the marketplace. So, that you can grow all the young people, because for me it is a ministry. It was not just about running an NGO or wearing a crown. It was about really touching lives. Why did I win? Why not other people? Those were the questions that I asked myself. What was special about me , it wasn’t as if I was the most beautiful woman. But something must have stood me out because of what I believe are my natural responsibility gave me an edge to be able to win the crown. And it was an assignment for me to take up and to help other people. That was exactly what I did.

    How did you get into the fashion industry?

    Passion from the time I was the queen, up on till the time when I decided to run a fashion business. I was crowned in 2007 and I reigned through 2008. Pretty much I ran my NGO from that point up till 2010 when I travelled to go study for my masters. I did a Masters in Renewable Energy Engineering and when I got that, I took up a job with the Lagos State Government as an Engineer. I worked with the Lagos State government for five years and I actually gave it five years. Why did I do that? Of course, I had an agenda and long term goal, which informed my short term activity. So, I wanted something to give me a feel, to understand the mindset of a civil servant. And that was what I did. Once, it was about time to move on, I took a leave of absence. I had to do that because I didn’t want to just exit government. I wanted to transit and I had started my fashion business out of the need to meet the gap of very fashion conscious people. I care about my looks, I care about paying attention to details. There are ways I wanted my things done and I am a Do It Yourself person. A lot of times, I give garments to tailors and fashion designers but they just do not do enough justice for me. So, I felt if I could meet this need, primarily to meet my own needs. I know, knowing what I know and being meticulous about paying attention to details, some people will definitely identify with I do. That was how the fashion business started . So, that was up until three years now.

    Do you by the outfits?

    No, I produce them locally myself. I source my products locally and internationally. And I produce them myself. I have a team of staff that work with me. I do the cutting of the designs. I have a cutter and those that sew, I have those who handle the finishing and I also have another set of people who does the quality control. So, the business is not just the conventional boutique, we produce ready to wear garments. There are everyday apparels and also work wear.

    How has it been? Has it been easy?

    It is not easy. It’s been tough, challenging and tasking. It has stretched my limits, push my boundaries. It has taught me how to do business with people that I do not know. I am not able to put this together just on my own. People have trusted me with the funds and the finance. They gave me a blind trust through contracts and I have to make sure that I deliver. I have been able to sustain my brand, grow organically. I have not taken any loan except asking some friends for a couple of funds and support. I have not gone to approach a bank in the proper structure to do a business. I believe in growing from ground to the top and that is what I have done. It has been tasking and challenging but worth every experience.

    Who are your Clients or targets?

    Women love to look good and decent. They love to portray elegance, class and sophistication. Every woman is a Milolar woman but it is all a function of what do you want to be or what do you think you are? If you can identify with what I do, then you are a Milolar woman. If you cannot identify with me, then you are not a Milolar woman.

    What are the things that you would not do in the name of fashion?

    For me, fashion is versatile, fashion is who you are. There is a part of me that comes to bare in my designs. What I would not do outside of fashion, I would not do inside of fashion. My moral, my ecobeliefs, I would not violate because I am running a fashion business. Whatever I can do outside of fashion is what I would do inside of fashion. So, for me it is really more about who I am. I would not do anything that is illicit, immoral or unethical just because I want to run a business. I have learnt to grow overtuime to understand that I can do it the legitimate way and build on it. This is because people are following the track records to see what you are doing. I am building a legacy, to have a dynasty. It is not just to have an outfit, it is more about living beyond myself. I want to leave a lot of me in the minds of people. I want to have to extend the purpose of my life through my work. I want you to step out in a garment and say you look like a Milolar woman. I want to pass a lot of me into people through an outfit. So, those kind of me is not passion, it is a purpose and it is becoming a motto. Long after you are gone, the brand stands. Look at the big brands that we have in the country, the ferragamo, they are gone but their brand stands. That for me is fashion is about.

    Tell us about some women in Nigeria that you adnire?

    I have a couple, a lot. I admire women that are thriving in their sector. I have a lot of respect for Mrs Joke Silva, her tenacity .She is in the entertainment industry, the strength and zeal is unique. I have a lot of respect for Mo Abudu. A woman that can stand and do things unapologetically. We have all got flaws, challenges but women that are able to surmount challenges and thrive regardless of what challenges they have to deal with. Any woman, it doesn’t matter whether your name is popular .I am not a popular brand but trust me, I know I will be a force to reckon with. It is not beacsue I am pushing that agenda but it is just because of something on the inside of me that drives me to do more. I also do not violate the law of exchange. I take your fund , I want to make sure that I deliver something worth it. When you come back, you know it is worth every penny that you put into it. So, I admire every woman that is able to do that and still look good.

    Do you have young ladies that you are mentoring?

    My staff are my first point of mentorship. You cannot influence people outside your own sphere of influence. If you cannot influence your siblings, your workers, then whatever you put out is really just a sham. I do not just have staff, I have staff that I mentor, that I train and challenge to do more than just work. You cannot come to my place and work for salary. There has to be a purpose for what you do. So, I do have a handful of young persons that are willing and teachable. Unfortunately, a lot of young people are not teachable. They like the easy way out, they see you looking good, they do not know the real cause, beyond what they see. They see you looking so cool on the surface but beyond all that you are padding like crazy. They see the nice outward appearance they do not know the hours you put into that. The young coachable spirit, be the man I can take up. Gender, does not matter for me. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female. It is about affecting lives, so I do that a lot.

    How would you assess the fashion scene in Nigeria today?

    It is amazing. Phenomenal. Its huge and I am impressed with what we have. Most of the outfits now are made in Nigeria. A lot of people produce locally, they compete with imported ones back to back. I go to fashion shows and see things produced by Nigerian brands and they are remarkable. We are growing, there is no limit to growth. There is a lot of competition, healthy competition to up their game. That is what we have and it is really healthy.

    What about the textile industry?

    Well, it is not perfect. Everything is the way you see it. What you see determines the outcome you get. I don’t see problems; I see challenges that can be fixed. So, I know it is a work in progress. This country is not doing as good as it should in a lot of areas but somehow you see a lot of young people thriving. You see growth, go to the social media and you see a lot of down sides and up sides to it. Then, you look around and see that despite everything people are thriving.

  • LARA KUDAYISI: How I converted my mistakes to fortune

    Lara Kudayisi is a match-making and relationship-coach who has carved a niche for herself in the sector. Interestingly, her passion started after 14 heartbreaks and a number of terrible experiences just searching for love. Instead of giving up and bemoaning her fate, she has written some interesting and controversial books as well as helped others find love without stress. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she recalls how it all started, her defining moments, the healing boot camp and more.

    WHAT inspired you to go into a career in match-making and relationship-counselling?

    I went into relationship coaching because I have a passion for relationships and happily- ever-after from a very young age. I have been interested in Mills and Boons, Hints, Hearts and all those other magazines that talk about love and relationship. I didn’t know that it would later be a calling for me.

    When I started having my relationship issues and break ups, I had the conviction to share my story with the world when I had my last heartbreak before I got married. It was a very dicey decision because I didn’t have a boyfriend or anyone that would marry me at the time, but inside of us we all have that voice that speaks to us and tells us what to do with our lives.

    I went on Facebook in 2012 and I started sharing my story of having a child at 19 and my 14 heartbreaks. I shared throughout the whole of July and I would put the morale of the story at the end of each story. That was when people started sending me a lot of DMs asking for relationship advice and all.

    I then took it as a career when I started acquiring certifications that would help me help people find love and have better relationships.

    For match-making, I went into it when I saw that single people started asking if I could match-make them. I saw this as a need that nobody in my industry was serving. So, I started bringing people together and I decided to charge for it.

    What was it like at the beginning and what has been your defining moment?

    At the beginning, I started advising people with my own experiences. It went a long way but it wasn’t really generating much results until I took courses in Therapy, Emotional Intelligence, Anger Management and the likes.

    I realised that relationship problems are deeper than just advising people. You need to go back to people’s childhoods, environments and significant emotional experiences before you can adequately diagnose what the real problem is.

    A lot of relationship issues we have today stem from emotional dysfunctions that we have learnt subconsciously from our parents or care givers growing up. These are the things I highlighted in my new book: How the matchmaker’s marriage failed.

    My defining moment was when I started seeing people who came to me helpless and hopeless leave with confidence and solutions to their problems. It gives me a great sense of joy and fulfilment.

    What are the challenges encountered and how have you overcome them?

    The challenge back then was that people weren’t matured enough to think that they have to pay for therapy. They don’t see it as a profession. They think it’s a gift from God that you should share with them without any form of payment.

    They don’t know that it’s a profession like being a doctor or an accountant. You render a service and you should pay for it.

    But since I started in 2012, it has greatly improved because there is so much awareness from me and people in that industry on paying for coaching and therapy. We are not there yet but it’s getting better.

    Could you tell us about your book? Many think it is controversial, how does that make you feel?

    My new book: How the matchmaker’s marriage failed, has been met with so many reactions; some good and some bad.

    I am not surprised because this is Nigeria. We aren’t used to people being open about their own lives and wanting to help them from their own past mistakes.

    I wrote the book because I identified my dysfunction as a single girl that ended up having a relationship and marriage addiction because I wanted to prove my daddy wrong because he said no one would marry me after I had my daughter at 19.

    I made up my mind that I would marry and show him that there is more to me than he knew and to tell you, that has been the greatest mistake of my life.

    I say it’s a mistake because I started operation “Get Married” and I started falling for every man that tells me he loves me or wants to marry me. I closed my eyes to every red flag or sign. I took a lot of shit just to get married and I kept going from one relationship to another as a broken woman.

    This was the same thing I took into my marriage and like you know it broke down because I was already emotionally dysfunctional. So, I wrote this book to help people identify their own unhealthy patterns and point them towards healing, which is my new focus.

    I started The Healing Boot Camp just for this reason. So, if people really understand my intentions, they would know that I am doing a great deed that should be applauded but you know as usual, people love to criticise what they don’t understand.

    What are some of the events and projects you have done and what are you planning for the rest of this year?

    Prior to when I wrote the book, I have done events like The Find Your Mate Masterclass, Date Night and the likes for singles.

    After I wrote this book, I have started The Healing Boot Camp to help people heal from their long standing pain of abuse, heartbreaks, divorce, lack of love, molestation and so many other emotional traumas.

    I also help people via one-on-one coaching and therapy to help to restore people back to their functional and resourceful state.

    By December, I would be doing The Healing Retreat where we will take the people outside the country for about a week to explore nature and have enough time for healing and recovery.

    What are some of the other things that occupy your time?

    Watching videos on how to heal and resolve deep relationship dysfunctions. Right now, I am so obsessed with my work that it’s all I eat, drink and sleep. I hardly have time to do any other thing at this point.

    As a match-maker, how do you address the radical people who do not believe in the idea of marriage or family?

    Being married or having a family is a choice. I know everyone wants their children or family member to marry but not everyone is equipped or ready for marriage. This is why some marriages are failing because some people who don’t even understand the concept of marriage go into it and make a mess of it.

    If people tell you they don’t want to get married, you can ask them why and check out their motives. If it is out of fear or something of that nature, you can tell them to seek counselling or therapy. However, if they are adamant and they seem to know what they are doing, please let them be.

    It’s better to be single than have a broken marriage or damage other people.

    Who or what do you consider as the greatest influence in your life and career?

    The greatest influence in my life and career is God and my convictions of him. Being connected to him is what guides my decisions and direction in my work.

    Apart from that, I have a couple of people here in Nigeria that I look up to and they inspire me. However in America, it’s Iyanla Vanzant and Oprah Winfrey.

    What bitter or sweet lessons has life taught you personally and as a career woman?

    The first is that you can’t give what you don’t have. To get better, you have to have better.

    Also you have to heal from your emotional dysfunction before you join yourself to someone else in a relationship or marriage.

    Thirdly, as a career woman, you don’t have any limitations because of your gender. Before, women couldn’t become or rise higher because they are women. Now, it’s no longer that way. It’s in your hands and God as to how far you want to go in life.

    As a match-maker, are you under any pressure to go into marriage again after your divorce? Also what will you tell a single who is under societal pressure to get married?

    No pressure from anyone at all. Besides, who would pressure me after reading through my story?

    The pressure was one of the reasons I married wrong and now you want to pressure me to go into it again without getting myself properly? That can’t happen.

    Anytime one comes out of a relationship or marriage, you need to assess what went wrong, how you contributed to the break down and what you need to do to stop a repetition of that pattern.

    Most times, we need to heal before getting into a new relationship so that we don’t bring the pain from the previous one into the new relationship so that it doesn’t break again.

    If you are single and you are under pressure to get married, please don’t succumb to that pressure. Keep building your purpose, your life and your dreams and love will find you. The more agitated you are about relationships, the tendency to make mistakes.

    Do you have any regrets in life? If you had a choice to change anything, what would that be?

    I wish I knew about healing and living my identity before I got married. A lot of us don’t know these things. We really haven’t come into our own before we get married and when we get married, we begin to discover ourselves anew and realise that this isn’t where we want to be.

    This is why I advise singles to invest in a lot self development and awareness before they marry. Most times we run with what people tell us we are without really knowing who we are and what we are about in our core.

  • Ibukun Awosika: Retraction

    On Sunday, November 18, 2018, The Nation published in its Flair pullout, an interview titled ‘I Still Kneel for My Husband’ supposedly conducted by one of our reporters with Mrs. Ibukun Awosika, Chairman of First Bank of Nigeria.
    The subject of the interview has since denied speaking with the said reporter.
    Following the denial and other complaints received on the interview, we initiated an in-house review process which established that the reporter passed off the bulk of an old interview with Awosika published in The Nation on October 7, 2012, as a new one conducted with the subject at an Afterschool Graduate Development Centre event in Lagos last week.
    While the reporter responsible for this unprofessional act will face appropriate disciplinary action, we hereby retract the said interview and apologise to Mrs. Awosika and First Bank of Nigeria for any embarrassment caused.