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Tag: 2

  • How to stitch a broken heart (2)

    IN continuation with last week article, we will be looking at more tips on how to get over the sudden break-up of a long time relationship; some of our saddest moments are when we experience broken relationships. Whether it is between siblings, husband and wife, friends, broken relationships can mean broken heart. In addition to certain points that were mentioned last week, here are the tips to help you get beyond the pain and move on.

    Stop the blaming game. Her putting an end to the relationship is not your fault; it is her decision. According to your story, although we are not fortunate to hear her own version, you love her selflessly and you did everything within your reach to make her happy because you saw her as your wife, so try not to be too hard on yourself; accept that the relationship was not meant to be.

    I know it can be very difficult sometimes, but the truth of the matter is that you must move on, thinking may be if you have done things otherwise is not going to change anything because she has moved on, all the calls or text messages she is sending to you is not to get back with you, but for you to see her as a friend not an enemy.

    Next step is defining your real intention. There are two important questions you must ask yourself. Are you trying to move past the break-up, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? You must know what you want in order to move on.   Another way to move on is to avoid every form of communication with your ex, no matter how tempted you are. If possible, try not to take her calls, or delete her messages.

    Don’t make her a topic for discussion among friends, especially when you are with friends who are friends with her as well. Don’t embarrass yourself or put yourself in situation where you will look back and feel humiliated. Come out with your head high. Broken heart is not the end of love in your life. You will love again with the right person at the right time.

    Avoid going into another relationship right away so that you can be sure of what you want, instead of using the person to fill in the gap or emptiness you feel as a result of the break-up.  This is one of the greatest challenges people who are brokenhearted encounter. It will be nice to give yourself time to heal properly from the pain.

    However, make the best out of the situation by occupying your mind. Get busy doing what you wish to achieve in order to improve yourself, instead of sitting thinking about how it was and how it should have been. Learn from the break-up and be a better person. Take the whole thing as a wake-up call and get moving.

    Let the attachment or connection go, like the saying goes “never allow someone to be your priority, while allowing yourself to be their option”. Care for you because the person hurting here is you, not your girlfriend. Conserve your energy for those who deserve it, beginning with yourself. Get support; take away the worries of how you are going to face your family members and friends who know the closeness of your relationship with her.

    This is when you need the help of your true friends and family members.  So talk to them, be specific about where you want them to come in. For example, may be you will like to be in their company socialising.  Or consider visiting a counsellor if you feel the situation is beyond you. Get help immediately if you are feeling depressed.

    Do not misinterpret the end of a relationship as meaning you are somehow not enough. At times, people do not have the ability to offer others the type of affection and care they need or deserve. It is their issue not yours. You should be perfectly lovable just the way you are. Know that this phase will pass away some day.

    Finally, you must allow forgiveness; when you are hurt by someone, you love and trust. You might become angry, sad, or confused. If you dwell on the painful event or situation, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

    Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life. Learn to trust again; there is no question that break-ups can be painful and it might be tough to trust and love again, this might sound impossible.  Whenever you get involved in a relationship, you know there is a risk. Don’t let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest. You can go through life loving and laughing.

    Harriet Ogbobine is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her on bineharriet@gmail.com or txt message only 08054682598. You can also follow her on twitter: @bineharrietj

  • Dangerous viral diseases and the urgency of now (2)

    Antimicrobial resistance

    In the past ten to sixteen years, poverty, ignorance and corruption have in many ways prevented   the ordinary man and his family from getting  access to the basic necessities of life including, food, water, shelter, electric power ,basic education and essential medicines. Most importantly, access to essential medicines is either non existent or plagued with bureaucratic red tapes designed to enrich  those who manufacture medicines and the middle men who do the marketing . Consequently, any person who develops symptoms commonly associated with viral diseases has so much thinking to do that he may succumb more from illness related stress than the tissue damage brought in by the attack.  Also,fake ,adulterated and expired medicines are never in short supply . Driven by the fear of dying and the understandable urge to get well, patients ingest large quantities of these killer medicines in wrong dosages, formulations , combinations, and for the wrong reasons .In addition,  chemical compounds  and drugs used  in pesticides and  herbicides have gone into meat, poultry and diary products that are consumed daily by every one, including pregnant women, mothers and children. This is particularly made worse by the indiscriminate use of antibiotics  and hormones by farmers to fast forward growth and by the buyers /sellers of fish ,meat ,fruits and vegetables who routinely employ antibiotics ,some of them expired to mask putrefaction. At the end, what we have is antimicrobial resistance such that  drugs used in the treatment of diseases caused by bacteria , fungi, parasites and viruses are no longer effective

    Global warming

    Countries in Africa including  Nigeria  are  seasonally hot ,but gas flaring and other  manufacturing  industry related activities have increased the temperature over these regions; thereby creating conditions which  disturb  herd immunity, and  favor the emergence of strange diseases including those caused by viruses

    Driven away out from their natural habitat, many of the vectors which carry these dangerous viruses are coming closer to one another and to human habitation. Similarly, industrialization including oil exploration and mining, and rural urban migration have begun to bring humans closer to the vectors which serve as agents to facilitate transmission of these disease

    Nature of the viruses

    Viruses are indeed special entities. Theyexist in particles and only need to assemble these particles to become viable disease causing microbes. They have the capacity to cause diseases and kill at different stages of formation and life cycle of the human cell.More overthey can remain compartmentalized in parts of the body such as the eyes, testes and brain, where local barriers exist that shield them from attack by the body’s immune cells. They can remain silent in these areas for months and years, while being transmitted, when and wherever the conditions are favorable

    Virusesare capable of transforming into many different forms. Rapid mutations and the presence of subtypes makes it difficult to adequately study them and to target them with vaccines and anti viral agents.  It is also by this processes that viruses kill indirectly by causing cancers.To date, there is no cure for measles , not to talk of HIV, Ebola  virus disease and Hepatitis B. The antiviral agent for Lassa virus appears to be working , but as explained above there is need to carry out research to better understand the mechanisms involved and find answers to many questions.

    Viruses target specific and vital organs of the body including those blood forming elements responsible for the control of bleeding, and those needed to transport vital nutrients to different tissues of the body .They turn relevant organs of an infected person into factories for manufacturing all that they need to remain viable and cause disease . They are thus  empowered  with  endless supply of apparatus to kill  police and soldier cells of the body and to dodge these immune cells when charged as may occur for example when challenged with drugs.

     

    Way Forward

    It has been argued that the failure of previous governments since independence to create strategic reserves of oil is the reason why Nigerians have continued to surfer the pain of recurrent scarcity of petroleum products and the attendant inflation. In the same way, there is urgent need for every Nigerian to have reserves of water, energy, protein, hemoglobin and antibodies, so that the capacity to fight off invading microbial agents is strategically , systematically and favorably improved. It is particularly dangerous for any country to have issues with water when in the mist of  outbreaks and pandemics of dangerous viral diseases

    There is now nothing like the average Nigerian. Governments and law makers(federal and state) should every now and then spare moments to  think of the ordinary people who elected them. It should be considered  a crime against humanity for a political office holder in Nigeria to spend four million dollars on a toy car when there are people eating from waste bins and dump sites.

    Just As There Are Marketers Of Petroleum Products All Over The Place  In Search For Subsidy And Foreign Exchange (forex), Let Us Also Have Mechanised Farming And  Marketers Of Agricultural Products Such As Harvesters, Incubators, Milking Machines,  And Farmers Unions Asking  For Subsidy And Forex

    To ensure food security, Governments can  set up school to land programs across the country  and encourage small  home gardens for vegetables by  empowerment( mainly of women cooperatives)

    Pension ,social welfare and Health insurance schemes should be sanitized to improve the overall health status of  ALL citizens

    Now is the time to take a critical look at our surveillance system in terms of  how we have handled pandemics of viral diseases in the recent past, where we are now  and where we ought to be in terms of our current strength and weaknesses.  Around the air, land and sea routes, medical

    surveillance teams can work in close cooperation with immigration , security and Port health officials to make the system more efficient. If Liberia has closed her border with Guinea, we should appreciate the extent of the problem and ensure that our own borders do not now become alternative routes for carriers of Ebola Virus

    All currently available gadgets necessary to handle Ebola virus disease, should be kept in readiness.Training and retraining of old and new health personnel should be kept alive.

    Instead of spending billions of naira on hand sanitizers, simple and cheaper solutions can be made from locally available materials such as alcohol(70%) and household bleach(5% or 10% hypochlorite . They can then be distributed through existing channels

    Now that the 2016  budget has been passed into law, let implementation begin immediately so monies can be spent as spelt or outlined in the papers. There should be at least, a standard well equipped reference , clinical hematology and microbiology hospital in every state ,with quick response medical and research  teams, so we can reduce capital flight from medical tourism overseas and have  reliable country specific data for planning health programs and strategies

    The federal government can do more than putting water and food on the table for Nigerians; conditions that create conflicts and wars should be dealt with as quickly as is humanly possible. The population of Nigerians displaced by internecine is alarming and if we  are unfortunate to have any of these deadly viral diseases brought into any part of Nigeria and into any of the camps, there will be  a disaster of immense proportions

    Health education

    This should be a continuous process designed to reach even remote areas of the countries and not just city centers. Every one should be involved but specifically, village and school heads, community leaders, politicians and non governmental organizations. Let religious leaders preach well and correctly what will encourage good health practices

    The Alien link

    Though it has been around for some time now and has not yet begun to receive attention, it is believed that the solution to viral diseases exist in yet to be discovered entities living out there in space and identifying them will provide insight for their ultimate destruction.

  • Vital forces for a happy home (2)

    DEAR Reader, It is a wonderful thing to be in God’s presence today! You are most welcome to this week’s teaching. Last week, I started teaching on the above subject, and gave you one of the vital forces for building a sweet home – Vibrant Relationship With God.

    This week, we are going to examine two other forces that make for a glorious, sweet and happy home. I refer to them as nuggets for Christians, who desire to reap all the blessings of the marriage covenant. These forces are: LOVE and EXCITEMENT

    Love is a potent force in the quest for a sweet home. It is the magnetic force that binds couples together. It is a vital force for sweet relationship. No wonder, Mother Theresa (Late), a Noble Peace Prize winner, when asked, “What can you do to promote world peace?” She answered, “Let everyone go home and love their families.” Love is the solution to every marital crisis! The Word of God says: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always, trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

    The above Scripture enumerates the characteristics of love. You can’t claim to love your spouse or family members, when any of these is missing in your attitude towards them.

    The opposite of love is selfishness. This is a plague that has destroyed many homes, and rendered many innocent children homeless in the society today. It is an abnormal affection for self and pursuit of selfish desires at the expense of your spouse or other members of your family.

    Selfishness is one of the traps of the devil; so, if you desire a sweet home, you must not give room to it. Maintain a standard of self-control and discipline in your home, by running your home in accordance with the Word of God.

    Another plague that prevents love from flourishing in most Christian homes is anger. It carries very costly consequences. It has ruined the destiny of most homes. It steals the seeds of love from homes, and replaces it with the seeds of discord, hatred and strife. Watch it! Stop it before it rubs you of a sweet home!

    God’s remedy for anger is, Let every man be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to be angry (James 1:5). You should, therefore, encourage your family members to love one another, so that everyone can escape the traps of the enemy and enjoy the blessings of God as a family.

    Excitement

    Joy and excitement are the spices of life. Unfortunately, they are the major things lacking in most homes today. Some couples even find it difficult to smile at one another. But the Word of God says: Rejoice, and again I say rejoice (Philippians 4:4). The home is not meant for silence and dull atmosphere, resulting from cold wars between husband and wife, or lack of love between family members.  The home is meant to be a place of excitement.

    Look at this testimony:

    “I have been married for over 12 years, but what I am enjoying now, I’ve never enjoyed since I got married. I thank God for His Word to me through you. You taught … and laid emphasis on wives being submissive to their husbands in everything, just as the church submits to Christ. My understanding opened and I told God, ‘Lord, from this day, I know that obedience is the key. Ever since that day, I have been enjoying what all my fasting, binding and all couldn’t deliver to me. I thank God that now it’s like I am wedded anew. Just yesterday morning, to confirm God’s faithfulness in my home, my husband gave me a cheque for one hundred thousand Naira, which I cashed this morning. I now enjoy peace, love and harmony. Adebayo, L

    The Word of God say: If I make you sad, who is going to make me happy? You are the ones to do it, and how can you if I cause you pain? (2 Corinthians 2:2 TLB). God created the family in such a way that the joy and pain of each member affects other family members. You are the one to create excitement in your home. Instead of being a problem to your family, why not create an excitement? Don’t give room to sadness in your home.

    In addition, you need to give your life to Jesus Christ in order to receive grace for building a sweet home. If you are ready to give your life to Christ, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • The homecoming (2)

    I TURNED my face slightly and the kiss landed on my cheek. I drew out of his embrace and he went back to his seat. We both knew what he was about to do and what it could have led to.

    “You shouldn’t have done that,” I stated.

    “What?” he asked looking at me.

    “You know what you were trying to do. You wanted to kiss me. Don’t try that again,” I warned him.

    “I’m sorry. It’s just that you look so beautiful when you cry! I guess I got carried away,” he said.

    “Ernest!” I said glaring at him.

    “Alright, alright! I’ll behave from now on,” he said with a wry smile.

    He kept to his words but for a short while. After that, it was back to his old ways of constant flirting with me and cracking jokes. He made me laugh and forget my troubles especially the situation with Barri.

    We had spoken a couple of times since he told me he was not coming home to visit anymore. He had been full of apologies, promising to come another time once ‘he was less busy’.

    “If you like, come or don’t come. Do whatever you like. I don’t bloody care!” I had shouted at him during our last conversation.

    “Ah! Bella! Don’t say that,” he had said, before assuring me again of his undying love and devotion to me…

    Anyway, I decided not to let Bari’s continued absence bother me too much. I focused on my job and when I was off duty, I spent time with my family and friends.

    May was one of such friends that I spent a lot of my free time with. One weekend, I accompanied her to a large shopping mall at Ikeja to help pick out a gift for her fiancé Jerry’s birthday. After we made the purchase, we took a lunch break from window shopping and admiring some of the expensive items on display at the stores at the mall.

    “Bella, I’m traveling next week. Jerry and I are going to South Africa for the holidays,” she announced as we ate at an eatery in the mall.

    “Wow! Girl, that’s cool. Lucky you!” I said enviously.

    “Yeah. His company gave him some tickets as a bonus for all his hard work the past year. So, he’s taking me along,” she stated.

    “Well, I have no where to go. I’m stuck in this boring place for the holidays. Worse still, Barri is no longer coming,” I said.

    “Don’t be too sad,” she said on seeing how downcast I looked. “He could still change his mind and come afterall,” she stated.

    “I don’t think so. He would have told me if that was his plan,” I noted.

    “Poor you. So, what will you do during the period? Don’t tell me you don’t have anything lined up like places to go to unwind, catch some fun,” she asked.

    “Well, nothing much. I will just spend the day chilling at home with my people. Though someone has invited me to a weekend get together at the Golden resorts.”

    “Golden Resorts? That’s great! Wonderful place! Jerry and I were there some months back and we had a swell time. So, who’s this person taking you there?” she queried.

    When I told her it was Ernest, my colleague, she looked at me sharply.

    “Ernest? Why will he invite you for such an outing? Shouldn’t he be taking his girlfriend or partner there? Why you?” she enquired.

    “Hey, May, easy with the grilling. It’s a professional club he belongs to that is organising it for their members. He broke up with his girlfriend over six months ago and he asked me to be his date for the event,” I stated.

    “Well, just be careful sha. You told me the guy likes you. Being together in such a beautiful setting as the Resort, a good looking man and a pretty young lady, anything can happen,” said May.

    “Like what? Girl, you have a dirty mind! We will have separate rooms. Besides, I’m a big girl, a married one at that and I can take care of myself. And I have not even accepted to go with him,” I stated.

    That was not totally true. I had told Ernest I would think about it but in my heart, I knew I would go. Truth was that, I needed a break from all the hassles of work and other commitments I had faced all these past months. Three days at a nice resort with all kinds of delicious food to eat,

    a spa for some massages and other pampering sessions sounded very enticing.

    I trusted Ernest and I knew he would not do anything funny I did not want. So, what was there not to like about the trip, I wondered. It was just what I needed at that time, a get-away to relax and forget all my troubles with Barri.

    The following Monday, I told him I would go with him to the resort.

    “That’s great, Bella. I’m sure you won’t regret coming. You have been looking really stressed up for sometime and this break will do you good. You will a have great time with my friends and I. I promise you,” he reassured me.

    Later, on getting home from work, I thought about how good Ernest had been to me and how he was always looking out for me. He had filled a vacuum in my life, created by my husband’s long absence. He was playing some of the roles, Barri, my husband should have been playing in my life.

    ‘Instead, he is so comfortable abroad that to come home to see me has become a problem for him,’ I said to myself with a hiss.

    What kind of husband will leave his wife alone for five years without bothering to come home? All he did was give excuses which were sounding more lame by the day. I had been understanding and patient with him all along but I believed he was beginning to take me for granted. In a way, my accepting Ernest’s invitation to the resort was my way of showing him that I too, can go out and have my fun, that I was not going to continue living like a nun just because of an absentee spouse.

    Though I liked him and was somehow attracted to him, I had no intention of dating Ernest, though I knew that was what he desired and wanted so much. But who knows, anything could happen on this trip and I could change my mind…

    The home coming

    “So, what’s your Christmas wish? Is there anything you desire so much that you want Santa to do for you this season?” said Ernest over a take away lunch in the office one day. It was some days before the and we were winding up work for the year.

    “Santa? At my age? Guy, I’m not eight years old! That’s kids’ stuff! I’m too old for that kind of bullshit,” I told him.

    “One is never too old to make a wish. So, what do you want? Who knows, your desire might come true,” he said.

    “Well, there’s just one thing I want for this period. But I’m not telling you. Sorry, my secret,” I said with a smile.

    “Ah! Open up, B! What is it? A new car? That expensive Gucci bag I saw you drooling over on that shopping website the other day? Tell me, na!” he persisted.

    I just smiled at him and shook my head. Barri, my husband was all I wanted for the holidays but since it was impossible for him to be with me then, there was no need voicing such a desire out.

    Ernest was speaking.

    “As for me, I got what I wanted,” he said.

    “What is it?” I asked with some curiosity.

    He shook his head.

    “Not telling. I can keep secrets too, you know,” he said grinning.

    “Bad guy,” I said teasingly.

    On the day, we were to leave for the resort, I woke up early and packed a few clothes and some toiletries in a small traveling bag. The resort was about two hours drive from the city. I did not want Ernest to pick me up at home so as not to arouse my Mum’s suspicions as I had told her I was going to spend some days at Juliet, another friend of mine’s place. I was to meet Ernest at his place before driving down.

    I had taken my bath and was getting dressed when Estel, my cousin ran into my room, full of excitement.

    “Sister, come quickly! Uncle Barri has come!” she cried.

    “Who?” I asked, turning from the dressing mirror.

    “Uncle Barri! Your husband! He’s here in the house, in the sitting room!” she said quickly.

    “What are you talking about? This girl, are you sure you are alright? Or have you been stealing Daddy’s brandy again?” I queried.

    “I’m serious, Sister. Just come and see,” she said.

    “It had better be real or you will be in serious trouble today,” I threatened as I followed her out of my room to the parlour. I knew it could not be Barri as I had spoken to him two days before and he had given no hint that he was coming.

    But standing right in the middle of the parlour was my dear, long gone husband, a broad smile on his face and his arms opened wide…

    ***

    “But Sweetheart, you should have told me you were coming. We would have come to pick you up at the airport,” I said some time later after some of the excitement at his unexpected arrival had died down.

    He laughed and pinched my nose playfully.

    “I wanted to surprise you and by God, I succeeded. You looked as if you had seen a ghost when you saw me earlier. Ha ha ha!” he laughed.

    “You sure did. You were the last person I was expecting to see,” I said cuddling up close to him on the couch.

    “Truth is I missed you so much, Babe. So, I rescheduled some of the appointments I had and here I am,” he said, kissing me on the forehead.

    “Thank God you did. I missed you too. It’s been so lonely without you,” I stated.

    “I know. I’m here now. This time, I ‘m taking you with me so we will never be separated again,” he promised.

    I smiled at his words and held him tightly to me.

    “Uncle Bari, what about my gifts? I hope you didn’t forget to bring something for me,” said Estel.

    “Of course not. I have lots of goodies for you and every one else including my Baby here,” he said turning to me and drawing me close.

    I smiled again. The only gift I wanted Bari, had arrived so unexpectedly making me deliriously happy. I didn’t need anything else. Perhaps, it was Santa’s gift to me, to make up for all the years of separation and loneliness. Now I know that sometimes, dreams and wishes do come true, even for sceptics like me who don’t believe in fairytales like Santa Claus…

    The End

    Send comments/suggestions to 08054701481 (SMS only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com. Follow us on Twitter @Escapades007. You can also log on at truelifestoriesng.blogspot.com

    We have changed the names of Bella, her husband and other individuals in the story to protect their identities.

  • Setting the pace for the season (2)

    HELLO Reader, Compliments of the season to you in the mighty name of Jesus Christ! Without any doubt, I know that the Lord has done so much for you this year. Are you thankful to Him for all His benefits that you have enjoyed this year? Some of which are the gift of life, the benefit of forgiveness, protection, provisions, redemption, so on and so forth!

    Last week, I explained spiritual clean-up as doing away with those things that will destroy your joy, at this holy season of the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. That is the major purpose of this month’s teaching: setting the pace for the season by doing away with those things that may cause hindrance from getting the joy and the spirit of the season into your family. In today’s edition, I shall be teaching on Physical Clean-Up!

    What do I mean by physical clean-up? It is cleaning up your wardrobe in hospitality, reaching out to the needy and also to clean out your home environment. Hospitality simply means a friendly, generous reception and entertainment of guests or strangers, especially in one’s own home. For you to set the pace for the season, you need to give room to hospitality in your home and that will eventually attract angelic visitation. The Word of God Says: Use hospitality one to another without grudging (1 Peter 4:9), Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality (Romans 12:13).

    It is a known fact that when the angels of God are sent to minister to the heirs of salvation, they are there to defend, provide and generally minister to you. So, when you are hospitable, you end up welcoming them into your home without knowing. The Word of God says: Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares (Hebrews 13:2). I don’t know what you have been trusting God for, but I know that as you take heed to the Word of God coming your way today, the God of the season shall visit you in the name of Jesus. Abraham and Sarah entertained angels, and the spirit of barrenness was terminated via that visitation. I see God visiting you too! Husband and wife, it is your duty to both give your home to hospitality, especially this Christmas season. Abraham and Sarah made the visitors feel welcomed, relaxed and refreshed. By their hospitality, they received their son, Isaac!

    We also have the story of the Shunammite woman in 2 Kings, who welcomed the prophet of God into her home and her barrenness was terminated. In that account, she told her husband: Let us make a little chamber, I pray thee, on the wall; and let us set for him there a bed, and a table, and a stool, and a candlestick: and it shall be, when he cometh to us, that he shall turn in thither. And it fell on a day, that he came thither, and he turned into the chamber, and lay there (2 Kings 4:10-11). There are many women today who don’t even want to see their husband’s relatives in their homes, not to mention a stranger. Their facial expressions can put off a stranger from their homes. The Word of God says: And he said to Gehazi his servant, Call this Shunammite. And when he had called her, she stood before him. And he said unto him, Say now unto her, Behold, thou hast been careful for us with all this care; what is to be done for thee? And when he had called her, she stood in the door. And he said, About this season, according to the time of life, thou shalt embrace a son. And the woman conceived, and bare a son at that season that Elisha had said unto her, according to the time of life (2 Kings 4:12-17).

    I often encourage women to always be hospitable, both at home and outside. One of the women in our church testified of how a visitor came to their house and did not have enough money to return to his station. He belonged to another branch of the church. She told him her husband was out of town and the money he left wasn’t enough for them. She, however, sold some food stuff and gave him the money. Before the man left, he made some prophetic utterances and said that God would surprise her. The following week, God began to visit their home with money, materials and foodstuff as never before! Their home, where there was not enough previously, suddenly, became a place of abundance! What a time of visitation!

    Hospitality brings honour and increase. Whatever level you may have attained in life, increase is still possible, and hospitality is the way! Those who give never surfer want in life. Also remember that your giving can yield returns, and it will come in a hundred-fold. Sometimes, hospitality may not be convenient, but as you sow in tears, God ensures that you reap in joy. The Word of God says: They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him (Psalm 126:5-6). Never give in to fear of being impoverished if you feed the needy, because givers never lack and you will always have more than enough to eat and give to others.

    I want to use this opportunity to also encourage the singles to be hospitable. Singles who are hospitable will certainly welcome their life partners unaware. Are you believing God for a life partner? How hospitable are you? May God grant you understanding! The joy of having a life partner can be yours if you will add a touch of friendliness and hospitality to your life. Rebecca is a perfect example of hospitality. When Abraham’s servant came to Mesopotamia to take a wife for Isaac, he prayed to God, saying: And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac (Genesis 24:14). Abraham’s servant knew that Isaac belonged to a family that is addicted to hospitality; so, he prayed for a kind and hospitable wife for Isaac. He knew that any woman who would offer water to a stranger and his camels would be a hospitable person.

    The criteria for his choice were not possessions, height, beauty or education; instead, they were a warm and loving heart. If you are married, it may be your hospitality response to your spouse that drew the two of you together. No one will like to marry an unapproachable, unloving or unfriendly person. So, to continue to enjoy this honour and acceptance, you must continue to be hospitable.

    However, without the grace of God available to you, you cannot be hospitable, and to access that grace, you need to be born again. That means to accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. If you want to do so, say this prayer of faith: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

     

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • She took my son away, claiming I was not the father (2)

    I GOT home that evening to find Julia lying on the living couch, looking dejected.

    “Is anything the matter, Julia? You look unwell,” I said, sitting down besides her. Wordlessly, she handed me a piece of paper.

    It was a pregnancy test. I glanced at it in surprise as it was so unexpected.

    “When did you do this?” I asked her.

    “Today. My period is late and I’ve been feeling ill lately. So, I went for a test,” she explained.

    “So, what do you want to do now?”

    “What else? Get rid of it,” she stated bluntly.

    “What? You can’t just do that,” I said.

    “Why not? I’m the one carrying this baby; I decide what happens to it,” she maintained.

    “That’s where you are wrong. It’s mine too, so I have a stake in it,” I reminded her.

    “So, are you saying I should have this baby? I’m still in school, remember!” she said.

    The argument went on for sometime with me insisting she should keep the pregnancy. Though unplanned and I was not expecting to be a father yet, I liked the idea of her having the baby. I did not have plans of settling down with Julia for certain reasons but with a baby involved, who knows. Anything could happen.

    Thanks to my mother’s intervention, Julia changed her mind. Mother had a long talk with her,

    stating that it was a taboo to abort in our family, insisting “we keep all our babies.”

    That was how Julia had my son, whom we named Edward. My mother came over to help look after the baby as Julia, being a first time Mum could not cope alone. Julia, an only child, was an orphan, her parents having died when she was still quite young. She had been brought up by her uncle and aunty till she finished secondary school when she started living on her own.

    Runaway mother

    As I stated earlier, Julia abandoned my son with mother when the boy was about six months old. I had returned from a business trip to Abuja one day to meet an empty house. Julia had left, stating she wanted to return to school to complete her degree programme.

    She had mentioned it some weeks before, but I had advised her to wait till Eddie was weaned.

    Now, she just left without even waiting for me to return home. I was not happy at her action and I told her so when I spoke with her on phone.

    “The baby’s still too young to leave with Mama. How could you do that? You have to come back,” I said.

    “Come back for what? Look, Sunny, I have my life to live, ok? I had to put my life on hold just to have this baby. Now, you want me to sit down at home and play ‘baby-nurse? I’m too young for all this responsibility. My mates are out there having fun and I’m stuck in the house playing mummy. That life is not for me,” she stated.

    She refused to listen to reason, stating that she was moving on with her life, ‘so she can start living again,’ as she put it.

    That left the responsibility of raising the baby to my mother. She really tried. She and my younger sister Morin. Without their support, I don’t know how I would have coped bringing up a child on my own with running my business and other commitments.

    After Julia left, I moved on with my life. I dated other ladies till about a year ago when I met Gloria, a nurse whom I’m presently engaged to. We plan to marry soon and start a family.

    It was in the midst of all these that the unexpected happened. Julia came and virtually  kidnapped my son, the boy that she basically abandoned for so long.

    After my mother told me what happened at Eddy’s school, how Julia came and took him away, I tried contacting her but she was unavailable.

    I even went to her school to look for her. She was not there and neither of her friends that I met knew where she was.

    “I saw her last over two months ago. She doesn’t come to school regularly,” stated one of her course mates that I knew.

    I was in a very bad state of mind that period, not knowing where my boy was or his mother’s intention of taking him away like that. What could she be up to, I kept wondering.

    Some days after my son’s disappearance, I was contemplating reporting the matter to the police when Julia called me and dropped the bombshell that has turned my world upside…

    To be continued

     

    Send comments/suggestions to 08054701481 (SMS only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com. Follow us on Twitter @Escapades007. You can also log on at truelifestoriesng.blogspot.com

  • No easy answers (2)

    Just when I was about submitting the first part of this article for publication last week, breaking news came in that Turkey just shot down a Russian jet it claimed violated its airspace. This action further complicated the fight against ISIS. Equally too, the US issued a travel advisory to its citizens which is expected to last till February 2016. In Belgium, some major cities were on lockdown because of imminent terrorist strike. Back home, Boko Haram (BH) continued it suicide bombing campaign, the latest being in the ancient city of Kano.

    All these point to the fact that we are not merely dealing with local issues, but issues that are intertwined and have a global connection with no easy answers. Beyond the merciless killing of innocent souls like it did with the Russian plane where over 200 people died, the group also wages economic war. By its action, Egypt’s tourism industry, on which so much of the country’s financial future depends, has been negatively affected.

    And once again, the global aviation industry has also plunged into crisis. The big question remains who controls what and what is/are the goal(s) of these terrorists? If they can evade security at the airport and plant bombs on planes, then we are not safe. The implication is that they have sympatisers everywhere.

    Two weeks after watching the Aljazeera documentary I referred to last week, I read a lengthy article published in “The Atlantic” by Graeme Wood titled “What ISIS Really Wants.” Wood’s detailed twenty two page treatise on the group is the best I’ve read so far – I still research and read articles to gain theoretical understanding of the group and what drives them.

    “The Islamic State,” he wrote “is no mere collection of psychopaths. It is a religious group with carefully considered beliefs, among them that it is a key agent of the coming apocalypse.”

    With this opening statement Wood posed the question: Where did it come from, and what are its intentions? “The simplicity of these questions,” he stated “can be deceiving, and few Western leaders seem to know the answers.”

    He referred to a December edition of The New York Times which published confidential comments by Major General Michael K. Nagata, the Special Operations commander for the United States in the Middle East, admitting that he had hardly begun figuring out the Islamic State’s appeal. “We have not defeated the idea. We do not even understand the idea.”  That in itself is the biggest dilemma.

    According to Wood, President Obama has referred to the Islamic State, variously, as “not Islamic” and as al-Qaeda’s “jayvee team,” statements that reflected confusion about the group, which some analysts believe may have contributed to significant strategic errors in dealing with it.

    Does this sound familiar when the issue of BH is raised? It appears so. First we were told it was a mere political tool foisted on us by some politicians for political reasons. Next, we were told we are where we are today because the leader of BH was extra judicially murdered by agents of the state. We were also told that BH is thriving because of the unemployment crisis in the land. These are among several theories propounded with no concrete easy practical answers that would really make us understand what we are really dealing with, except that it takes pleasure in killing innocent people hiding behind religion.

    During the last administration we read how some BH “negotiators” fleeced the government of millions of naira claiming they were acting on behalf of the group. The government is finding it increasingly difficult identifying who to negotiate with because it is difficult knowing who they really are.  Abubakar Shekau, the presumed “leader” has been reportedly killed more than twice. So, it’s challenging to finger what really the grievances of the group are.

    In trying to find answers to the rapid rise of ISIS, Wood wrote: “Our ignorance of the Islamic State is in some ways understandable: It is a hermit kingdom; few have gone there and returned. Baghdadi has spoken on camera only once. But his address and the Islamic State’s countless other propaganda videos and encyclicals are online, and the caliphate’s supporters have toiled mightily to make their project knowable. We can gather that their state rejects peace as a matter of principle; that it hungers for genocide; that its religious views make it constitutionally incapable of certain types of change, even if that change might ensure its survival; and that it considers itself a harbinger of—and headline player in—the imminent end of the world.”

    I learnt from him that with this ideology, it follows a distinctive variety of Islam whose beliefs about the path to the Day of Judgment matter to its strategy. Things will however get complicated if there emerges a Russian-Iranian coalition against ISIS. This will encourage resentment in the Sunni community because a Shiite enemy will always be seen as a threat. Similarly, a Western-led coalition will further ISIS rhetoric that the West is waging a war against Muslims. No easy answers.

    However, one aspect which a non-Muslim like me found enlightening is the aspect that deals with the nature of the Islamic State from two standpoints. First, he says we tend to see jihadism as monolithic, and to apply the logic of al Qaeda to an organisation that has decisively eclipsed it. “The Islamic State supporters I spoke with still refer to Osama bin Laden as “Sheikh Osama,” a title of honor. But jihadism has evolved since al-Qaeda’s heyday, from about 1998 to 2003, and many jihadists disdain the group’s priorities and current leadership.”

    His point is that Bin Laden viewed his terrorism as a prologue to a caliphate he did not expect to see in his lifetime. His organisation was flexible, operating as a geographically diffuse network of autonomous cells. The Islamic State – by contrast, requires territory to remain legitimate, and a top-down structure to rule it. Since they now control a territory, Bagdadi confidently declared himself a Caliph.

    Finally, Wood dwelled on other issues like devotion, territory, the Apocalypse, the Fight – ideological purity of Islam and Dissuasion. All these are very deep issues – some followed by interviews with scholars and academics – that went to the core of Islam that cannot be fully explained in a thousand plus words article.

    Former President Olusegun Obasanjo – who has met with some leaders of the group in the past – said recently that BH is a matter of socio-economic development, but for it to have hold of the people they must tie it up to something, and they tie it up to some form of religious agitation. “So what do I see? I see a situation where first of all the government must have the upper hand militarily, then after you have had the upper hand militarily you have to deal with the genuine issues of socio-economic development. And I believe that if that is well-handled such issues will disappear.” We earnestly hope so.

    While OBJ has a strong point, it is now our common responsibility to ensure that our vibrant youth populations truly understand what their religion preaches. Religious issues are highly emotional which is why a religious war is the most dangerous of all wars. Understanding our religions is critical.

    On combating ISIS, I’d like to end with this quote from The Economist: “Military force is not enough on its own, though. It will make the rest of the world safer in the short run, but the critics are right that Islamic terror will end only when the Middle East lives in peace. The parallel aim, therefore, must be for regional powers to stop fighting through their proxies, and for the creation of federal states in Syria and Iraq that give Sunnis, Shias, Alawites and Kurds confidence that they can live together with decent representation in government. That requires strengthening the administration in Baghdad. And it means bringing an end to Syria’s civil war.”

     

  • Over 2,000 aides for new NASS members

    Over 2,000 aides for new NASS members

    •Applicants  intensify scramble for jobs 

    Over 2000 legislative aides are being recruited by new members of the National Assembly as thousands of job seekers keep thronging the complex since its inauguration on June 9.

    Others bombarded the legislators with telephone calls and home visits.

    Apart from the regular civil servants and political appointees at the level of Special Advisers and Special Assistants lubricating the National Assembly machinery, 2, 750 aides serve the 109 Senators and 360 members of the House of Representatives.

    Each of the federal legislators is entitled to a minimum of five aides: Senior Legislative Aide, Legislative Aide, Personal Assistant and office secretary.

    They can function either in Abuja or the constituency office of the lawmakers.

    The Principal officers have more aides. Stringent screening of visitors to the National Complex by policemen, private security contractors and dedicated security officials under the NASS Sergeant-at-Arms has not succeeded in stemming the streaming in of the job seekers.

    “Many of us have been working in private companies, law firms, banks and other reputable places but the logical search for greener pastures motivates people like us to be here in hope of getting employed as legislative aides,” Ms Helen Edokpayi told The Nation on Sunday.

    The monthly salary of the legislative aides ranges  from N150,000 to 250,000 while  the salary and allowances of  Special Assistants, Senior Special Assistants and Special Advisers start from N950, 000 per month.

    A source at the National Assembly said: “The number of people within this salary bracket in the offices of Senate President and Speaker during the seventh Senate was more than 60.

    “Besides, the Deputy Senate President and Deputy Speaker also have many such appointees, including those who do next to nothing throughout the year.

    “Some people have been lucky to serve as Secretary, Personal Assistant or Senior Legislative Aide to legislators over a period of two or three terms; once you do the first four years, you develop interest for another four years.

    “There is a measure of arbitrary authority that the Senate President, Speaker and their deputies can exercise in deciding how long the list of their aides, including Special Assistants should be.

    “That is part of the reasons why many delectable and well-qualified ladies in the banking sector are also lobbying for such job opportunities.”

    While many legislators have picked one or two aides from those who worked for them during the campaign period in their constituencies, the high cost of accommodation in the Federal Capital Territory has encouraged them to recruit aides in Abuja.

    The National Assembly’s budgeting process and expenditures have remained complex since 1999 such that only a few members of staff and aides have a clear idea of the breakdown or expenditure items in the annual N150 billion budget of the legislature.

    Incessant protests by legislative aides between 2001 and 2003 led to the separation of legislative aides’ salaries from legislators’ salary account.

    Before then, many legislators were alleged to be paying their aides a mere fraction of their entitlements or simply employing only one or two aides while collecting the full salaries for all.

    Even until recently, some legislators were alleged to have presented the names   of their wives, children and other relations living outside Abuja to the National Assembly Service Commission as legislative aides.

     

  • Fear that magnetic power of ex (2)

    JULIE and her lover were so entangled in the coast of adultery. It went on for so long. If they were later caught, I wasn’t privileged to the full gist. But even if they were caught, your guess would be definitely as good as mine.

    But I keep asking myself, in such situation, who is to be blamed for the calamity that befall Julie’s life and marriage.

    It is no secret that some husbands who genuinely wished to be faithful to their wives, have fallen into the web of ladies who would not allow them to rest. There are ladies who are determined to dismantle a guy’s moral and assist him to throw his marriage vows into the trash can likewise the married women too.

    I feel for such men! Believe me, if a determined daughter of Eve wants to sexually “fall” a guy, it’s only a matter of time. But there are men who a lady only has to give a friendly smile and the little man in their trousers will automatically rise and start nodding, saying,” Hey sister, I’m willing, ready and able!” A simple case of different perception.

    Apologies for digressing, but sometimes I am forced to ask if there could be any form of platonic relationship between a guy and girl who have once dated and shared loads of intimacy. What are the chances that they would resolve their personal and private differences, then become friends again.

    Even if they both pretend to be fine and good to roll on a neutral affair, what would be the facial and inner reactions of any of the parties, especially the lady, if she beholds the face of the new chic her ex is firing behind closed doors.

    We, (I mean those who have been fortunate or unfortunate to have left or bowed out of one relationship to another), can’t deny the fact that whenever they see their ex with his new girl, a sudden feeling of guilt and jealousy would unconsciously envelop your whole body. Then crazy thoughts would start running through your mind.

    You keep picturing those positions you enjoyed more  and imagining how his new catch will position, while he drives in and out of her. The way he kissed, his soft touch, his moans and groans when you gave it to him the best way he wanted it.

    With such sexual vibe flowing in outside of you, if given any slightest opportunity, the lady wouldn’t mind jumping back to bed with her supposed ex.

    Some ladies wouldn’t want to let go of such who gives it  and hits it at the right spot. Inasmuch as they would be in another relationship based on the love, affection and financial assistance the guy has to offer, they would always run back to the ones that service their oil blocks properly.

    No matter the situation or the circumstances that led to the dissolution of the marriage or relationship, it is always hard to let go, especially if the couple in question has spent years of intimacy, while their two sexual organs would have become so familiar with each other because of constant visits.

    I have always told people that it’s never a crime to lust after or fanaticise  about a guy/babe that is not your legal spouse. It becomes a crime when you give in to that itch.

    A close friend of mine just jilted her lover who was co-incidentally a colleague in the same office with me based on individual differences. She still loves the guy, but hates that she does. You can tell from the way she talks about him and the smile on her face. Ha! That thing called love!

    She came to me that day with a gloomy face. If you see her look;  it was like two-day old fufu that has gone so bad. When I first saw the distressed and miserable look on her face, my heart skipped a beat. Then she confessed that she still can’t wave the thoughts of her sex off her mind, especially now that he has this hot, slim and set-to-kill chic, hanging around him.

    Whenever he’s near, her breathing usually becomes erratic, spirit of shyness will possess her body and she gets all fidgety like a teenager who was about making love for the first time.

    So why the heck did you break up with him when you’re still having this urge to be laid by same guy? I queried, hoping to have a follow-up question from her answer, but she gave me a dirty look. She apparently expected me to have an answer to my question.

    She gave me that long look that said, “You ought to have your head examined”. Yeah, so what else is new? My friends know and appreciate the fact that Chichi don kolo! Am so inquisitive, not minding who’s ox is been gored.

    She whispered to me in a low voice, “Chi, I am into another relationship now. Yet I keep imagining making love to this guy like never before. It’s embarrassing to say the least! I have taken a decision. I will start avoiding him before I do something I might regret. One day I moaned his name when my new man was on me. I was saved that day because the music in the room was a bit loud”

    I wanted to laugh out right, but I didn’t want to make a mockery of a situation she obviously found distressing. Life could be very funny.

  • Accepting responsibility in building your home (2)

    DEAR Reader, Today shall be a good day for you! Your home will not fail; it will only get sweeter by the day in Jesus’ name! Last week, I started this teaching and I told you that you need wisdom to build your home. Today, I want to show you one of the vital ingredients for building a sweet home. That vital ingredient is Praise! It is important for you to know that God instituted marriage and He intended every home to be a sweet and peaceful place. When it is not so, it is evident that something is missing. A lot of people dream of a perfect home: a place where joy, peace, prosperity and fruitfulness abound. But they are not ready to pay the price. Thus, making their dreams seem far-fetched. However, I would like you to know that building a sweet home is possible, but it does not happen by chance. The Word of God says: Every house is builded by some man… (Hebrews 3:4). Just as it is in the natural, you cannot own a house by merely wishing it. Similarly, you cannot have a peaceful and exciting home except you play your part by accepting responsibilities.

    One of the ways of building a sweet home is by locating the good qualities in your spouse and children, and to praise them for it, rather than focusing on their areas of weakness and mistakes. Praise is the master key to an enviable Christian living and that is the missing ingredient in most Christian homes today.

    I remember the story of a woman who went to a counsellor and said, “My husband is very bad; I want to leave him.” The counsellor drew a circle and said, “Put a dot in the circle for every fault your spouse has committed.” The woman started putting dots in the circle for as many offences as she could remember: He insulted me; he didn’t give me money. She continued until she could remember no more. The counsellor then said, “Madam, the undotted space in the circle is still larger than the dotted part. That means your husband is not as bad as you want me to believe.” The woman was advised to go home and make things right with her husband. You need to appreciate God for your family members and be determined to be happy with them. Cast away bitterness from your household and let every unpleasant situation in the past be forgiven and forgotten for good.Below is a testimony of the proof that praises work.

    “In October 1995, my marriage witnessed the hardest and most shocking heat of breaking! My husband was charmed as he returned from the village. When he got home, situation in the house changed. He no longer ate the food I cooked and subsequently ordered me to pack out of the house. But God the Creator of heaven and earth, Who knows every home, restored mine!

    During the October 1995 Breakthrough Seminar, a friend invited me to that service.  In the course of that service, God spoke through the Bishop concerning married couples, especially those whose parents were controlling their family affairs. He also spoke about men who used their wives as punching bags. Fortunately, my husband was at that service. He didn’t know that what he was doing was wrong, until he attended that service.

    After that service, we bought a bottle of the anointing oil and blessed it. When we got home, we sprinkled it and drank some.By the end of that Breakthrough Seminar, my home was calm! The Lord visited us in a unique way by sending His messenger to tell us to restore our home and cast out the hand of the devil in our lives.

    Thereafter, a woman visited and preached to us concerning marriage and home-breaking, yet we never told anybody about the problem. That was God sending His Words in our direction.

    Even angels visited us! In fact, from then on, we started to hear the direct voice of God concerning our lives and to receive divine direction in all our endeavours! Today, my home is blessed in numerous ways and I no longer have prayer requests because the Lord continually directs my steps. All I do now is praise God because praise brings about my raising, according to my Bishop.”

    -Enwere, B. C.

    As a family, find time to praise God together because it will fill your home with God’s presence. Remember that wherever God is, there is fullness of joy and pleasures forever more (Psalm 16:11).

    My husband says, “Until you learn how to be grateful, you don’t taste greatness.” This is because the depth of your gratitude determines the depth of God’s commitment to your lifting. Do you want greatness in your family? Then learn to appreciate God and your family members.

    If you are not acquainted with the mystery of praise, you may miss all the goodness of life in your family. Though, God’s plan and determination is to bring your family into laughter this year, in 1 Samuel 12:30, He says: …For them that honour me I will honour …. This means that even though God has committed Himself to make you enjoy heaven on earth this year, it will take your praising Him to make it a reality in your life and family.

    Remember, as you want others to do to you, do the same to them! Therefore, praise God and He will raise you; Praise your family members and you will get the best out of them.

    Are you born-again? If you are not, you need to be. If you are ready to be among the redeemed, say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and Satan to serve the living God.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

    If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

    Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

     

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored)