Tag: daughter

  • Kalu’s daughter finally picks wedding date

    The household of former Abia State governor, Orji Uzor Kalu, is buzzing with preparations for the wedding of their beloved daughter, Neya Kalu. After a long wait, the delectable billionaire daughter is set to tie the nuptial knot with her wedding billed for Wednesday, December 26 2016.Close sources to the family of the diminutive ex-governor said Kalu’s country home will host the ceremony.

    Neya and her beau got engaged in August, at a posh restaurant in London. It will be recalled that her first marriage to popular socialite, Chima Anyaso, crumbled like a pack of cards, leading to allegations and counter allegations between the two parties. It was widely believed that Neya’s bid to recover from the shock of the failed union led her to pursue a master’s degree programme at the University of Buckingham. Incidentally, it was there that she met her groom-to-be, Lawrence Iyere, who happens to be a very successful businessman.

    Feelers indicate that the groom’s family is leaving no stone unturned as they join the Kalu family to plan a high-octane wedding that promises to be the talk of Abia State and beyond well into the new year.

  • Mayor Akinpelu hosts daughter’s wedding in the US

    Mayor Akinpelu hosts daughter’s wedding in the US

    LAST Saturday, wedding bells rang merrily in faraway Raleigh, North Carolina, USA where a galaxy of eminent personalities watched the publisher of Global Excellence magazine, Prince Isiaka Mayowa Akinpelu, and his wife, Olufunke, gave their daughter’s hand out in marriage.

    The distinguished guests who descended on the occasion like a swarm of bees included the founder and publisher of Ovation magazine, Chief Dele Momodu, who also doubled as the host of the after-wedding reception party.

    Attired in an ermine white bridal dress, beautiful Abosede, the first and only daughter of Prince Akinpelu, looked resplendent while her father, popularly called Lord Mayor by fans and associates, brimmed with joy as the rites to solidify his daughter’s union to handsome Adebosipo were concluded.

  • ‘Wandering’ woman, daughter reunite with family in Ogun

    A WOMAN, Mrs. Chioma Ibeh and her six-year-old daughter, Rita, who were found wandering last Sunday at Ijaiye-Owode community by the Oluwo of Owode Egba, Oba Kolawole Sowemimo, have been reunited with their family.

    Mrs. Ibeh and her daughter were reunited yesterday with their family, who came looking for them following a report about their plight and subsequent rescue by the Ogun monarch.

    The duo, believed to hail from Oji River in Enugu State, were in the custody of the Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Development for two days.

    The ministry handed them over  to their older brother and uncle, Mr. Cletus Ibeh, who was sent by the family from Enugu to take them home.

    According to  Ibeh, the family members have been looking for them until they heard the media reportsthat they were found in Ogun State.

    “I came to Abeokuta when somebody told us that they saw her and daughter in the news. We have been looking for them for the past three days. I first went to Owode at the king’s palace and they told me they are in the ministry.

    “We are grateful to everybody, especially the media for the publicity. Only God will reward you (media),” Ibeh said.

    Oba Sowemimo also hailed the media for the publicity.

    He said: “I really feel happy for what has happened to them. With your (media) help, her family was able to come from Enugu for her and her daughter. I am so happy and it shows we are good in Ogun State.”

    The Director of Social Welfare Services, Mr. Olumide Shotubo, said the ministry elected to handover mother and daughter to their relative since they came for them.

    He also hailed the monarch’s kind gesture as well as the media.

  • Like mother like daughter

    DEAR Aunty Temilolu, I was a proud virgin until last month when I missed my period and discovered I was pregnant. The shock was too much for me to handle as my boyfriend never went all the way but played with me and our bodies responded the way it would when two people engage in sexual intercourse. Certainly, a stray sperm got into me. I had to terminate the pregnancy though he didn’t tell me to. I terminated it majorly because I didn’t want to end up like my mother and grandmother. My mother had me that way and till today she’s not married to my father or any man. Also, my maternal grandmother whom I presently live with never married my maternal grandfather as she also conceived my mother out of wedlock. I didn’t feel good committing an abortion but had to do it to save myself from future trouble. However, I can’t stop feeling bad. Please what do you think?

    Tomilola 21

    My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,

    Hmmm…Sigh! Girls…girls…girls…how many times did I call you?  Life is a lot much more than boyfriends, smooching, sex, dressing to kill, “talking eyes,” Brazilian hair, body shaper, buttock enlargement etc. Too much concentration on your physical beauty to attract guys not only gets you into trouble unconsciously a lot of times but also distracts you from concentrating on your spiritual beauty and working out your destiny. Yes! If you love dressing to kill to get guys drooling over you, some day, you’ll fall into the hands of a guy that would kill your destiny. The devil is very clever and knows how to set traps for those who rely on their sense and sensibility to get what they want out of life instead of depending on God to sort them out. So many of you reading this are in serious trouble  and not enjoying life today because of your parents’ ignorance and failure to sufficiently work on their spirituality and destinies and marry the right person. Nevertheless, you are not a mistake. God knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb and has fantastic plans for you; a much better life than that of your parents but expects you to work it out with fear and trembling.

    Tomilola’s evil family pattern caught up with her and she decided to outsmart it by committing an abortion. I tell you, she would have been better off not terminating that pregnancy. Abortion is a sin of a great magnitude in the eyes of God because it entails the shedding of innocent blood and carries its consequences. Also, who knows what special assignment the terminated child was sent to carry out in the world? Perhaps a prophet sent to save his generation. I pity a lot of girls who terminate pregnancies; they can’t all get away with it. I can only pray along with Tomilola that God who decides whom He’ll have mercy on would have mercy on her.

    There’s someone reading this column who is afraid of getting married because her father turned her mother’s life upside down while another is turning out a termagant just like her mother who showed her father “pepper” and ended up marrying three men and having children for all three of them. If care is not taken, such a girl would end up marrying five men. There’s yet another reader who has lived an unstable life and experienced hell being sent to live from one cousin’s place to another because neither of her parents could fend for her. While there’s another who is suffering in the hands of a wicked step-mother or father being maltreated on a daily basis with no one to come to her rescue. While another’s destiny has been satanically diverted and she doesn’t know.

    Girls, what happens to our parents usually end up happening to us if we don’t take extra care. It becomes a family pattern and an unpleasant one could completely destroy God’s glorious agenda for one’s life. Sadly, too many parents are so spiritually lazy that they fail to support their children spiritually and equip them against such evil patterns. One of the ways the devil shuts your eyes from seeing pits that could redesign your life, make it even worse than your parents and make life most unenjoyable is the lust of the flesh/ungodly sex. It makes you spiritually dull and unable to follow the right path to your destiny and avoid the pitfalls on the way. Funny enough, we all have access to the power that can subdue the flesh and see clearly. I charge you to have a deep relationship with the Holy Ghost, let God be the sole driver of your destiny and place you where you rightly belong. Eventually, you will have peace, joy, prosperity and the most amazing sex all the days of your life. There’s time for everything! Okay? God bless you!

  • ‘My wife, daughter still alive… but in distress in kidnappers’ den’

    •Husband of abducted Ogun council official explains family’s ordeal

    Dr. Tokunbo Oshin, the husband of the abducted Director of Information in Odogbolu Local Government Council, Ogun State, has revealed that his wife, Nofisat Oshin, and daughter, Miss Afolabi Oshin, are “still alive,” but they “sound distressed” in the den of their abductors.

    Oshin, who is former Deputy Speaker of Ogun State House of Assembly,  said the suspected kidnappers had established a telephone contact with the family.

    He added that he had spoken with his wife and daughter.

    But he was silent on whether any step had been taken regarding the N150 million ransom demanded by the abductors.

    Oshin spoke yesterday when a delegation of the state Council of Nigeria Union of Journalists(NUJ) led by the Acting Secretary, Mr. Anthony Gandonu, former NUJ Zonal Secretary Dimeji Kayode-Adedeji  and Chairman, Local Government Information Chapter Mr. Seun Abati, visited him in Ijebu-Ode.

    Nofisat and her 15-year-old daughter, Afolabi, were abducted last Thursday around 8p.m, at the entrance of their Imoru home in Ijebu-Ode.

    They were thereafter whisked away to unknown destination at a gun-point.

    He said: “The incident happened last Thursday. My wife and daughter were in the car and they were almost entering the premises, when the abductors blocked their car with their own car.

    “In fact, the gateman had already opened the gate for them to drive in.

    “Those who saw them said they transferred my wife and daughter into their own car and drove off, while one of them drove my wife’s car.

    “They later abandoned my wife’s car along Idowa-Itokin Road. I want to thank the governor for his concern. He has contacted the Department of State Service (DSS) and other security agencies in a bid to rescue my wife and daughter.

    “Immediately the kidnappers left, men of the Oodua Peoples Congress (OPC) and vigilance service swung into action, thinking  the suspected kidnappers’ escape could be slowed down and perhaps trapped in a traffic jam.

    “The kidnappers had established contact with us and I have spoken with my wife and daughter. They are still alive, but they sound rather distressed.”

    Oshin appealed to the kidnappers to set his wife and daughter free to enable them re-unite with the family.

    He called on Nigerians to join him in prayers for their safe return.

    “The day I will see the two of them will be my happiest day. And I believe that they will come back to this house alive,” Oshin said.

     

     

     

  • N150m ransom demanded for abducted Ogun council official, daughter

    The Director of Information in Odogbolu Local Government Area, Ogun State, Mrs. Bola Oshin, 53, and her daughter have been kidnapped.

    They were abducted around 6p.m. at Molipa, Ijebu-Ode in her black Kia Sorento Sport Utility Vehicle (SUV) with registration number Ogun JGB 456 AA.

    An aide, Mr. Paul Awode, said the kidnappers demanded N150 million ransom from Mrs. Oshin’s family.

    The aide told the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) yesterday in Ijebu-Ode that Mrs. Oshin and her teenage daughter went missing on Thursday in Ijebu-Ode.

    The council chief’s husband, Dr. Tokunbo Oshin, who was worried about the condition his wife and daughter were in, declined to speak with NAN when contacted.

    Oshin’s SUV was said to have been recovered after it was abandoned at Idowa in the town on the same day.

    The family aide added that the police had since been informed about the incident and they were investigating the case to determine the Oshins’ whereabouts.

    He said the kidnappers had affirmed that Oshin and daughter were safe and in good condition, though they did not allow the family to speak with them.

    Police spokesman DSP Muyiwa Adejobi told NAN that the kidnappers had opened a line of communication.

    Adejobi then asked for calm and assured that the police were doing everything they could do to ensure the safe return of Oshin and her daughter.

  • Tutu ‘sad’ his daughter had to step down as Anglican priest

    The daughter of anti-apartheid figure Archbishop Desmond Tutu has had to give up being an Anglican priest after she married a woman.

    In an email to the AFP news agency Mpho Tutu-van Furth said that as the church does not recognise gay marriage she was told her license would be revoked, so she decided to return it.

    She wrote to AFP that her father was “sad but not surprised” at the news.

    Archbishop Tutu has supported same-sex marriage and it was legalised in South Africa in 2006.

  • My daughter disappointed me!

    My daughter disappointed me!

    Dear Temilolu, You have been doing a great job spreading the message of chastity to our girls even in this perverse generation. Thank you. I was informed that sex education yields results from parents and having followed your column decided to educate my daughter on the need for chastity. I covered areas such as the feminine reproductive organs, signs and effects of puberty, rape, its consequences, how to avoid it etc. To my greatest surprise, I got to find out last year that the same daughter had been sexually active since she was eight and is now nine-plus.

    It all started when my wife laid on the bed one day and my 4-year-old son climbed on her pretending to make love to her. I asked him who taught him and he told me he had been watching his big sister. He told me anytime we were away from home; our neighbour’s 15-year-old son would come into the house and have sexual intercourse with my 8-year-old daughter. I also discovered that other boys usually came to the house and each time her mother sent her to charge her phone at another neighbour’s house, she’ll go missing for hours. I was too dazed and in great shock for days. I didn’t even want to be near her, least of all discipline her by caning her. Eventually, I had to summon courage, reprimand her in the best possible way and put her back on the right track. She then promised to stop all that.

    Unfortunately, I had to lecture her on all her mother should have enlightened her on and this has made me so unhappy with my wife because of her laxity towards our daughter’s upbringing.

    Not long after, I discovered that not only was she failing in her academics but anytime she was asked questions on even what was taught on the same day, she would go blank. And in November last year, I was invited by her head mistress and was told she was caught writing love letters. That was too much for me to bear and I beat her so much in great grief. Though I took her to my pastor who suggested we embarked on a 3-day retreat of fasting and praying, which we did. Her grades in school are still below average. I feel so disappointed and wonder why and where things went wrong. I have lost hope in her. How can I help her again? Thanks.

    Mr. J

     

    Dear parents,

    Why are a good number of you sleeping and allowing the devil take over your joy? These kids God has mercifully given you are not only for signs and wonders but your future. They are to take care of you and save you from living a life of hell on earth when all the chips are down. Why can’t you concentrate on them now and guide them on the way to go, rather than allow the devil turn them to his playground? Mr.J, I sympathise with you. But there’s a solution that would change your daughter’s life forever no matter what she has done at such a tender age. It is the word of God. Even if you take her for countless deliverance sessions etc, the greatest yet is the word of God. She needs to have her mind renewed and her spirit fired up to ward off any foul spirit that’s overcome her mind. The spirit of fleshly lust and confusion has taken over her mind and it has to be expelled by all means.

     

    “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit…”

    Hebrews 4:12

     

    For the next one month, please get two verses appropriate to her situation and get her to memorise and meditate on the two along with you before she goes to bed. I mean two different verses daily. You need to sit beside her and let her master these verses and recite them by heart till it resonates in her spirit. I’ll tell you what will happen to you both next Sunday and other steps you may take. May God bless you sir!

  • Dad planted music in me –Bongos Ikwe’s daughter Jessica

    Dad planted music in me –Bongos Ikwe’s daughter Jessica

    Like her father, you only get to hear Jessica’s songs, but you hardly see her except on stage.  That’s how so much she takes after her music legend father, Bongos Ikwe. Predicted to be one of the few music talents that will take 2016 by storm, Jessica Bongos is already showing great promise. When she released her debut EP ‘Unscathed’ some years ago, many knew that she had indeed learnt at the feet of the master, with her good mastery of soul and jazz music. We caught up with Jessica Bongos at one of the hottest stages at one of Abuja’s famous hang-outs where she had a show that brought out the best of Abuja’s artistic crowd. After the show that left many without a doubt about her music talent, Jessica Bongos spoke to Paul Ukpabio.

    Where did you grow up?

    I grew up in Lagos State. I attended Corona Primary School, Apapa, then St. Judes Primary School, Festac Town, before going on to Corona Secondary School, Agbara Estate. I have a degree in International Development and a Master’s in Leisure Events and Facilities Management.

    You have been spotted in Abuja. Have you relocated from your Benue abode? Also tell us about your recent show. What was it about?

    I never lived in Benue. I moved from Lagos to Abuja in 2006 for NYSC programme and decided to stay here in Abuja. My recent Abuja show was a little concert I decided to have called “Jessica Bongos and Friends; the Soul Sistas Edition”. I had one last year and decided to have another this year, featuring some of the best soul singers and musicians in Abuja.

    As a popular musician, how much influence did your dad have on your early musical background?

    His influence on my early musical background was huge. He encouraged me to learn how to play the piano as a child because we were surrounded by music literally everywhere, in the house and in the car. He played his guitar all the time and made up songs on the spot. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t know what good music was. I also probably wouldn’t be as interested in music as I am today.

    So would you say your background has influenced the person that you are today?

    The background of a person I believe always plays a huge role in the person’s life in the long run. It’s definitely influenced my character and level of creativity. I’m from a very musical background and that is most likely why I’m a singer and songwriter today.

    Why did you choose a musical career?

    I couldn’t run from it. When you love something so much, you just find yourself going back to it every time and that’s what happened with music and I. I don’t think I chose it. This might sound lame, but I think it chose me. I didn’t plan to go on this journey. I’m shy, quiet and reserved. I don’t like attention in any way; yet here I am, in an industry where you can’t be any of these things. As a singer, songwriter, recording artist and performer, I have to be out there. I have to be okay to accept criticism from everyone and from anybody, about things as silly as “what she was wearing”. Lord knows I only care about the music and when you are passionate about something, you can’t worry about things like what people will say. You honour God and the talent He has given you and pray that He guides, protects and blesses you along the way.

    Are you the only artistic child of your parents?

    No, I’m not. My younger sister is a creative writer and my older sister sings and plays the piano.

    We have heard less of your mum; tell us a little about her?

    I think she would like to keep it that way. She’s been Bongos Ikwe’s wife for decades, as well as the mother of his children from Issele-Uku, Delta State. That’s all I can say.

    Your dad has been popular over the years, but he has been able to live a private life. How does he do that?

    I’m not qute sure how. He just lives his life by working hard and minding his business. He’s not part of the social media era we live in now, where celebrities post “not so personal” parts of their lives for fans to see. He’s old school.

    Of all your dad’s songs, which one is your favourite?

    My favourites have been “Man and Man”, “Mustapha and Christopher” and “What Rght Is Right”- a song about jungle justice.

    Where does the inspiration come from to sing?

    I’m inspired by real life and what I’m going through at that time…love, relationship, friendship and experiences of people around me. I write how I feel. Sometimes, it’s pure fiction too.

    Life in Abuja, Lagos and Benue, which do you prefer?

    For me personally, Lagos is exciting to visit. Abuja is a great city to live in. And Benue is great for vacationing and quiet time.

    Who is Jessica?

    I’m a reserved, quiet, avid music lover. I’m a deep thinker and a creative person whose mind is constantly bursting with ideas. I’m very family oriented, a home buddy who appreciates quiet time. Solitude is very rejuvenating for me. I’m a work in progress, slowly coming to my own and becoming comfortable with me.

    What do you consider as challenges for the ladies in the artistic industry?

    I can only speak for myself and I always say being a female in the artistic industry in Nigeria has not been a challenge for me. If your work is good, it will be acknowledged as just that, whether you’re male or female.

    If you were not in music, what other profession would you have loved to be?

    I would love to be a restaurateur, an interior designer or a special education teacher-someone who teaches kids with special needs or disabilities.

    When you want to have fun and enjoy yourself, what do you do?

    At such times, I do simple things. I meet up with friends for coffee, lunch or dinner. I love food and a good-girl chat. Listening to music is fun for me, watching live music shows, stage plays and things like that. Just simple things.

    Any fond memories of best moments?

    That will be my boarding school experiences in secondary school. I’ll always hold those memories close to my heart. I had the best time.

    Looking back, what do you like about childhood?

    Not worrying about anything at all. When you’re a child, you can’t wait to grow up because you think you can do whatever you want as an adult. When you’re an adult, keeping up with the responsibilities that come with adulthood can take its toll on you and actually make you wish you were a kid again. C’est la vie!

    What appeals to you?

    People with integrity and depth appeal to me.

    Are you fashionable?

    I honestly don’t know if I’m fashionable. I know I’m not into fashion. I don’t keep up with designers and their collections. I love to admire fashionistas though. I have a lot of them as friends. Love them! I can do without any accessory. As long as I’m clean and I smell good, I’m fine.

    What vanities of life do you find difficult to resist?

    None!

    Tell us about your style. Do you consider Nigerian ladies fashionable?

    I think it’s evolving but I lean more towards classic retro styles. Anything that makes me feel confident, classy, elegant and beautiful. I think my music is a reflection of my style. Oh, yes! Definitely! I think Nigerian women might actually be some of the most fashionable women in the world.

    What role does beauty play in a woman?

    Society has taught us that physical beauty should be one of the most important, if not the most important attribute of a woman. But I know that there’s so much more to being a woman than beauty, like compassion, selflessness, intelligence, love, strength, confidence, etc. True beauty comes from the inside.

    Are perfumes and make-up compulsory for ladies? Do you use them?

    I guess they are. Every woman wants to look and smell good. I can go days without make-up, but perfume is a daily must for me.

    What kind of foods do you enjoy and do you enjoy cooking?

    I love to cook. I was a full-time caterer before I chose a career in music. I love food from all over the world, but my absolute favourite is Italian cuisine.

    What determines your choice of shoes and how many do you have?

    I don’t really care about shoes, so I definitely don’t know how many pairs I have, but not a lot. As long as my feet are comfy, protected and look good in them, I’m good.

    Do you travel, your best holiday? 

    Yes, I travel. Best holiday would definitely be Las Vegas with my best friends a couple of years ago.

    Your role model?

    I have quite a few. These women exude class, regality, elegance, sophistication and intelligence. Taiwo Ajai-Lycett, Joke Silva, Phylicia Rashad, Jill Scott and Sade Adu.

    We hear one of your siblings is in the movie-making business, did you at any point think of going into movies too?

    No, I never thought of going into the movie industry.

    Your father has a big name in music in Nigeria; do you see yourself stepping into his shoes?

    I can’t compare myself with him. I can only be the best I can be.

    Was your mum worried that her daughter was going into music?

    She wasn’t. My mum is very supportive of my decision to do music.

    What other things do you do apart from music?

    I’m a full-time musician. But like I said earlier, if I wasn’t a singer, I would be a restaurateur, amongst other things.

    Tell us about your new music, your recent work.

    I’m still working on new music, soul music with a touch of jazz. I plan to be more experimental with sounds and touch on areas of life other than love. I hope to release my debut album by the end of the year by God’s grace.

    What do you love about being a singer?

    Being a singer allows me express myself freely without holding back. Songwriting is therapeutic for me. I put all my feelings into my music and get the opportunity to share it with other people. The best part of being a singer for me is when listeners can actually relate to what I’m singing about. Being able to connect with the listeners is a blessing.

    Career wise, what does the future hold for you?

    I plan to be in the music business for the rest of my life. I may branch out into other businesses later on in life, but for now, I’m focusing on my art and giving it my all. God will take care of the future.

  • ‘If I were  your daughter,  would you ask  me to get  married  at 16?’

    ‘If I were your daughter, would you ask me to get married at 16?’

    In this investigation done with the support of the Ford Foundation and the International Centre for Investigative Reporting , BETTY ABAH establishes that inspite of the existence of the Child’s Rights Law, child and forced marriages still go on unabated in several communities in cosmopolitan Lagos.

    Amina Hassan spotted the signs with much trepidation. First, they came for her eldest sister, Zainab and two years later, they came for the second eldest, Maimuna. After another two years, when they came for her as soon as she turned 16 like the other two before her, as usual with the gleeful wedding party in tow, Amina bolted with all the strength in her sprightly teenage legs. It was only a few months to her Senior Secondary Certificate Examination (SSCE).

    “No, child marriage is not for me; my education first,” she blurted under her breath as she fled her home in Ajegunle, a Lagos slum community.

    “I ran away from home to stay with a school friend of mine but my family and that of the groom waited patiently for me for those three days,” Miss Hassan recalled, “My father was no more; so, it was my uncle who was in charge. When I made a brief appearance at home to check if they had left, he got hold of me, beat me black and blue and said I was disgracing the family and shaming our tradition.”

    The next alternative was to seek refuge with the police. So, Amina again sneaked out and reported at the nearby Ajegunle-Boundary police station.

    “But I received the shock of my life because some of my family members came and after some talk with the DPO, the story changed,” she said. The DPO took a long look at her and asked her to ‘cooperate’ with her family members as they had her ‘best interest at heart’.

    “I looked him in the face and asked: ‘If I were your daughter, would you also say the same thing—that I should cooperate with them and get married at age 16?’”

    The obviously ruffled police officer, whom she remembered as having ‘bold, unforgettable tribal marks’, berated her for being a ‘stubborn girl’ and promptly discharged her case from his station. The wedding party disappeared in great sorrow.

    Thus, given up by both family and the police, Amina went on to finish her secondary school in that same year (1993), and university education at the famous Ahmadu Bello University (ABU), Zaria and went on to obtain a Masters Degree, the very first person and woman in her generation to accomplish that the feat.

    Though Amina set herself free by her determination and sheer guts, her two other sisters, Zainab and Maimuna who could not, have continued to live with the consequences of child marriage, decisions made entirely on their behalf by their elderly relatives.

    Amina still recollects their ordeals with heavy heart. Fragile-framed Zainab had been tricked into a party ostensibly held in her uncle’s house in the Oregun, Lagos mainland not knowing it was her own traditional wedding. She was later taken to Asaba in Delta State where her elderly husband, a polygamist, was waiting for her. She later ran back home from her elderly husband, unable to cope.

    But the most dramatic was that of her sister Maimuna. “We had all prepared for school that morning and were all in our school uniform,’’ Amina recalled, “Our uncle addressed Maimuna and told her no school for her that day as her husband had come for her. She had no idea who the man was or what he looked like. My uncle had made the choice on her behalf. We all started wailing. Our neighbours’ children also came and joined in the wailing, but it was too late as a station wagon was already parked outside ready for her. They took her away in her school uniform. She was in SS1 at Oregun High School and was one of the best in the entire school, always coming first or second.”

    Maimuna was virtually bundled and taken to Chad from where, unable to cope with the domestic work (including cooking for her husband’s large extended family), she ran back to Lagos, selling her belongings along the long lengthy and traumatic way from Chad to Lagos heavy with pregnancy, giving birth and losing the child thereafter. Like her sister before her, Maimuna never went back to school.

    “My sisters were very intelligent and were well known in school for their brilliance, but these people just ruined their lives,” said Amina, who established the Shuwa Arab Development Initiative (SADI), a non-governmental organisation (NGO), after graduating from the university in 2009, to try and right the wrongs of the past and save other girls from the ordeal of child marriage.

    Through SADI, she has facilitated the education of more than 100 children, boys and girls among the Shuwa Arabs (an indigenous community with roots in Northeast) in Lagos.

     

    Thriving culture

    Maimuna and others cases occurred mostly in the early 1990s and therefore it could be assumed that child or forced early marriage is a thing of the past in metropolitan Lagos, Nigeria’s most developed and most urbane city.

    Yet, Aisha Nasirudeen, 19, sitting, stroking her three children’s heads idly in the face-me-I-face-you compound of her rundown house on Odo Street in the Obalende, Lagos island did not just portray the picture of urban poverty. She aptly personified the victim of an on-going and vibrant tradition of child marriage in settler communities across Lagos as relevant government agencies entrusted with the responsibility of acting against it, continue to look the other way or engage only in lame rhetoric.

    “My ambition was to become a doctor, but now I know I can’t achieve that dream anymore. My son Yahaha will achieve it for me,” said Aisha who was married off four years ago when she was barely 16 and in Senior Secondary Two (SS2).

    Quiet and tall Aisha, with features akin to that of a model is one of 28 children of a prominent alfa (Muslim cleric) who hails originally from Katsina. She is the last of three wives of Alhaji Mohammed Nasirudeen, who hails from the Upper Volta region of Ghana but converted to Islam and adopted Borno as his state. He was a disciple of Aisha’s cleric father.

    In a tone oscillating between sarcasm and seriousness, Aisha’s husband, Nasirudeen, 44, who runs a thriving restaurant business in Obalende, says marriage was the best option for his wife.

    “You know some of these girls that have a tendency to be stubborn,” he said, smiling from ear to ear and revealing his beautiful golden tooth, “it is always better to marry them off as soon as possible. It is for their good.”

    Unlike Nasirudeen, Garba Abu, 55, who came to Lagos 25 years ago, is a repentant man. The Jigawa State-born man who, after over two decades as a security guard, now runs an almost empty kiosk at the College Road in Ogba, Lagos, and doubles as a water vendor, had given out his three daughters Bintu, Saratu andSadiaas teenagers. Now, with the little earnings from his small businesses he and his wife ensure his younger children,namely Aminat, 13 and Muritala, 9 get a relatively good education. They are currently pupils in the nearby African Church Primary School, Ifako-Ijaiye.

    “There is so much difference between a person that goes to school and the one that didn’t,” he said, casting a distant look at his shrinking wares. “It is easy for an educated girl to get a job because she understands English while the ones that doesn’t understand English loses job opportunities.”

    A neighbor, who has known the Garbas for several years, recounted how one of the daughters, already in secondary school and doing very well, was ‘plucked’ off to her husband’s house. “On the day of the ceremony, we asked her who her husband was but she told us that she hadn’t met him yet and that one of her sisters had gone to check his place where she would be moving to later in the evening, and that is when she would see him for the first time.”

     

    Deadly consequences

    Forced marriages have sometime led to tragic situations such as the one involving Wasilat Tasiu, a 14-year-old bride who poisoned and killed her husband, Umar Sani, and four other guests in Kano a few days after she was married off in December 2014. According to her, she committed the crime in order to realise her dream of acquiring an education. Another tragic incident involved Rahama Hussaini who killed her husband, Tijjani Nasiru, in March 2015 in protest over being forced to marry the man who was her cousin.

    Child marriage, with its devastating consequences on the overall welfare of the girl child, remains one of the sore points and clogs in the wheel of Nigeria’s progress. The country, according to UNICEF, has the highest rate of girl marriage in Africa with over 50 per cent of women in the North married off before or by age 16.

    According to a recent report by Ford Foundation, about 48 per cent of girls in Nigeria, predominantly in rural areas, are married off before age 18. Cases of Vesicovaginal Fistula (VVF), maternal mortality, have been on the increase especially in rural areas. Also, according to a 2013/2014 UNESCO report, Nigeria has the highest number of out-of-school children in the world, numbering 11/5 million. This owes mostly to economic hardship and government’s indifference to children and the non-implementation of the Access to Universal Basic Education law in addition to the on-going anti-western education insurgency in the north.

    Of this figure, girls are in the majority. The gross lack of interest in girl education and welfare in many regions across Nigeria’s has given rise to child marriage as economically-hit families want to ‘do away’ quickly with their girl children so as to give priority attention to their boy counterparts.

    Child marriage not only deprives a girl of education and her childhood but exposes them to sexually transmitted disease such as HIV especially since they are unable to negotiate for safer sex.

    A 2014 report by UNICEF titled ‘Ending Child Marriage, Progress and Prospects’ indicates that though child marriage in Nigeria has reduced by one per cent annually in the last 30 years, hundreds of girls are still at risk due to Nigeria’s peculiarly large population. It further revealed that of the world’s 1.1 billion under aged girls, 22 million are already married. The global body also expressed fears that if there is no reduction in child bride practices, up to 280 million girls will be married before age 18. That could even increase to 320 million by 2050 owing to population growth.

    Besides, child marriage directly hurts the United Nations’ Sustainable Development Goal (SDG) Goal SGD 5 which focuses on gender equality and empowerment of all women and girls.

    Forced marriages and the impunity thereof is exemplified by the globally known case of the more than 200 girls abducted from the Government Secondary School in Chibok Town, Bornu State, Northern Eastern Nigeria in April 2014 by Boko Haram insurgents. According to their leader in a recorded interview, the girls had been married off. Two years later, despite the worldwide #BringBackOurGirls campaign, not only have 219 of the girls captured from their hostel rooms had their educational dreams aborted, they are yet to be found.rescued.

     

    ‘Government looking

    the other way’

    While the reports and researches on girl marriage prevalence have focused on rural areas and especially the North for a long time, recent findings have revealed a steady culture of girl marriage in communities in urban areas such as Lagos.  Girl marriage is prevalent, even if at a comparatively reduced rate, in settler communities and secluded populations of the Hausa-Fulani, Nupes, Shuwa Arabs and as well as minority populations from Benin Republic and Togo. The communities include Makoko, Kofiganmen sea side area of Badagry, and Ojo, Agege, New Okoba, Ijora, Marine Beach among several others across Lagos.

    Makoko, Lagos’ largest slum, a predominantly fishing community which hosts a pout-pouri of ethnicities drawn from across Nigeria, Togo and Benin Republic, is a classic case. According to a report by an NGO, Action Health Incorporated, Makoko has the highest number of teenage mothers. While many of the surveyed and the current are pre-marital pregnancies, hundreds of others are child brides.

    On a recent evening as the sun set over Makoko and the impoverished community assumed its rambunctious train of routine evening commerce and camaderie, Juliana Idowu, 17, Rhoda Awahajinu, 16, and Sena Kobozina, 20, sat exhausted in a shop, after the day’s task, fielding questions impatiently from this reporter. They were warming up to go home so as to perform their usual wifely responsibilities of cooking, washing, feeding their children and pleasing their mostly young husbands in a variety of ways. The young mothers and wives have many things in common. Each had a child, each was married and each had her education cut short in order to take on marital roles and is currently learning vocational skills, mainly hairdressing or tailoring. Other than concentrating on their skills, owning their own shops ultimately and rearing healthy children, none had any more ambition. Like hundreds of other girls in the community, some of them became pregnant between ages 14 and 15.

    Yet a rather more worrying trend in Makoko is that some parents are not only forcing their teenage daughters into marriage once they become pregnant, but compelling them to marry much older men in that condition, with the pregnancy.

    In this  category are Bose Nge, 14, who is pregnant, Elizabeth Avonzetin, 18, mother of two, Jane Zanu, 18, also a mother of two and Olorunwa Humgbe Louis who lost her first baby and is pregnant with a second one. While Zannu’s twin brother is in a French school in Badagry, her sole ambition now is learning tailoring and being a good mother and wife. All became mothers and wife as teenagers.

    “Here, once a girl becomes pregnant, she is expected to identify the boy or young man that is responsible. The girl’s family thus organises a marriage ceremony and sends the girl off to live with the boy as his wife, and if he is still with the parents, she goes to live with them,” said  MariamKusika, 24, mother of three and herself a victim of child marriage.

    The only snag, she added, is when the boy denies and the bales (local chiefs) would wade in. “But most times, the girl’s parents are not disposed to keeping her and would quickly ‘dispose’ of her ‘free of charge’ to any willing person alongside her pregnancy. We have seen so many of such cases here,” said Mrs. Kusika, who, after learning from her mistakes, is now hoping to go back to school later this year, and currently learning a variety of skills and running a girl empowerment club.

    Paulina Vigan, a trader and mother of one of the pregnant and hastily married Makoko girls, corroborated Kusika’s claims. Her daughter is fourteen years old. And she has no regrets.

    “My daughter is very stubborn,” she said, her forehead furrowed in a blend of anger and grief, “I thank God the parents of the boy who impregnated her accepted and took her in. Our tradition has no room for unwanted pregnancies and the boy who impregnated her is just about 17 years and in JSS Two. If they had refused, I would have sent her far away where nobody knows her until she gives birth or better still, give her and her unborn child to an old man, who might be willing to take her in as the third or fourth wife so as to reduce the stigma. Besides tradition, I couldn’t even have coped because I am just a poor trader and my business is not generating much profit and she has siblings I still have to fend for. I am so sad that she can’t go back to school again; if I had the money, I would have wanted her to become very educated, because I really liked her.”

    ‘’Child marriage has serious negative consequences for these girls,’ says Bimbo Oshobe, a community worker activist in Makoko, “Besides the health implications due to their unripe bodies, we have discovered that many of these child marriages don’t last because most times both the husbands and wives are too young and inexperienced and therefore unable to handle so many issues. Sometimes too, some of these men are even old enough to be their fathers.”

    Oshobe advised the Lagos State government to carry out sensitisation programme or partner with grassroots NGOs that would reach the people with the relevant messages and orientation.

     

    A proud father of Makoko

    Adewale Akintimehin, 74, a retired police officer who has lived in Makoko since 1963, echoes Oshobe’s complaint. “The politicians come every four years with promises but we hardly see any of them fulfilled. And, when we demanded to know why, they would either say ‘Rome was not built in a day’, or that they were not the ones in the office in the previous term,” he said, downcast.

    Akintimehin, however, hoped that “this Ambode regime would be better than the last one in terms of education”.

    “We have seen girls of 14, 15, 16 years, some even 13 getting married here,” he said, “Once they are physically developed, they want to identify with a man, or when they are asked to repeat a class.”

    He also blamed the trend of negligence on the parts of some of the parents and peer pressure.

    A respected, outspoken community leader and founding member of the influential The Act of Apostle Church in the locality, Akintimehin said the church and community leaders were working towards reducing the rate of teenage pregnancy and child marriage by encouraging school enrolment.

    “We are now preparing for the annual ‘Makoko Day’ and one of the features of that day is the donations of free WAEC forms to both our boys and girls who are ready and who have passed through some tests to be administered,”  he revealed, insisting that things would have been better had government been more attentive.

    Amidst the challenges, Akintimehin is highly celebrated in Makoko as being an exemplar in promoting girl-child education. By ensuring his first daughter, 44 year-old Ibukun Elizabeth delayed marriage and obtained a university degree, he is happier and prouder for it. Ibukun now has a Master degree and lives happily with her husband and two children in Finland and invites her father for occasional holidays. Even in absentia, she remains a Makoko ‘girl hero’.

    Abdullahi, a youthful leader of in the bustling Hausa community in Agege Pen Cinema area and a  graduate of the Lagos State Polytechnic, spoke in the same vein. “They are so many children here, both boys and girls that are not in school. No government official has ever engaged us to know what is happening here or to try and enrol them in school,” he told this reporter in the office of the Seriki, local chief of the market. The Hausa population here, constituting itinerant traders, artisans and sometimes beggars, has increased astronomically since the on-going insurgency, particularly in the Northeast. By all calculation, with lack of education and government’s interest, many of the girls there who currently hawk fura da nunu (cow milk) around the railway side market risk being married off early.

    A lot more sensitisation,

    enforcement of law needed

    Several attempts in the course of three weeks to interview the Lagos State Commissioner for Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation (WAPA), Mrs.Lola Akande, failed. However, a source at the Lagos State Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation (WAPA), who craves anonymity, insisted that the government was trying its best in ‘responding to the cases as they happen.’

    “The fact that armed robberies happen does not mean the police doesn’t exist,” he said, urging affected persons to report to the nearest police station as the stations are now armed with human rights and family units.

    He further pointed at the Lagos Child Rights Law 2007 which made profuse provisions outlawing child marriage. Also, only in February, he added, the state launched a well-publicised campaign titled ‘Ending Violence against Children in Nigeria: Priority Actions: Lagos State’, which is was a multi-sectoral response to the 2014 Nigeria Violence Against Children Survey. The launch campaign has the backing of UNICEF, USAID, US Centre for Diseases Control and Prevention and other agencies.

    However, Princess Olufemi-Kayode, a child’s rights activist and anti-rape expert and Executive Director of Media Concern for Women and Children (MEDIACOM), argued that government needs to do a lot more if child marriage must become history in Lagos State.

    “Just like the rest of the states that have passed the 2003 Child Rights Act, the issue is about enforcement,” she said.

    Olufemi-Kayode also blamed lack of communication between government and the masses, especially the uneducated.

    “How much of information about such laws do the general public have? Even the police that are supposed to enforce the law don’t even have the necessary information,” she said.

    She advised the government to embark on massive public awareness including exploring the use of local languages that are accessible to the masses in addition to utilising such medium of mass communication as the ubiquitous and effective radio. ‘Child marriage is rape by another name because these girls are minors. It disrupts their lives and we must do everything to stop it,’ she added.

    According to Victoria Ibezim-Ohaeri, a human rights lawyer and Executive Director of Spaces for Change, an NGO, girl marriage anywhere in Nigeria is a pointed violation of the rights of children and of country’s constitution.

    Ibezim-Ohaeri says: “The Nigerian Constitution puts the statutory age of adults at 18.  Anyone lower than that is a minor and cannot give consent, and marriage is a decision that requires consent and consent cannot be given by a minor.

    “For citizens below the age of 18, the Constitution imposes certain obligations on states to protect their interests and welfare. Section 17 (3)(f) of the 1999 Constitution requires states of the federation to direct their policies towards ensuring that children, young persons and the aged are protected against any exploitation whatsoever, and against moral and material neglect.

    “Keep in mind that the child rights legislations follow the tenor of the Constitution. Child Rights Act criminalises having carnal knowledge of a child below the age of 18. This has been interpreted to mean that 18 years is the legal age of consensual sex in Nigeria. Child Rights Act applies in twenty-four (24) states of the federation (including Lagos) and the Federal Capital Territory.

    “The fact is that though Lagos is a rapidly urbanising and metropolitan society, we must know that Nigeria is basically a cultural society. The traditions and religious practices and dispositions have a great influence over people and so even when they come to Lagos or other big cities, those cultures still guide and inform their private lives.”

    Echoing Olufemi, Ibezim-Ohaeri maintained that the Lagos State needs to enforce the Child Rights Act it so vigorously passed to safeguard children within its territories.

    “Having a law is a good step but people being aware and the government enforcing the law is another thing. The enforcement mechanism of the state needs to develop to a stage where it can enforce all the provisions of the Child Rights Act. They have taken some steps like setting up family courts but a lot of gaps need to be filled. Public education can play a major role. The people need to be sensitised as to the risk they put their daughters through. They need to know they are putting their daughters’ life, health, education, and futures at risk, I believe they will consciously make the decision not to marry out their daughters. They get to need to get to that level of consciousness so they can make informed decisions about their daughters’ futures,” she says.