It’s the season of love and Gboyega Alaka in this piece, chronicles the inspiring love stories of three physically challenged persons: Olayinka Ogunke-yede, Obianuju Osajie and Yusuf Sanni; who found love despite their peculiar situations.
It was Saturday February 6 and the gathering was a meeting of the Society for the Welfare of the Blind holding at Isheri-Oshun, off Isolo, a suburb of Lagos. Present at the meeting were president of the society, Mr. Tade Ladipo, vice president of the society, old and new members of the society, most of them students of the University of Lagos and volunteers. Amongst them were Yinka Ogunkeyede a visually-impaired final year Political Science student and Obianuju Osajie, a Year II Guidance and Counselling student also of the University of Lagos. Yinka has been blind since age nine, as a result of a brain tumour surgery, while Uju says she has been blind from birth, but both nevertheless are involved in sizzling love relationships. Their stories alongside Yusuf Sanni’s, who has been crippled from childhood, not only inspire, but underline the age-long adage that love is indeed blind.
Olayinka Ogunkeyede and Oyindamola’s story is one for the movie. Deep, emotional and inspiring. Yinka though visually impaired, was discerning enough to recognise what providence had placed at his disposal, and wasted no time in catching in on a lifetime opportunity. That ‘sharpness’ like he described it, has gone a long way in making life more meaningful for the young man, who lost his sight at age nine. In fact, he says life has been ‘perfect’.
Olayinka’s story
Really handsome and full of confidence, Yinka is the sort of guy you’d never miss in a crowd, his disability notwithstanding . Except you saw him being led into a place, you really would never know he is blind. Everything about him: his dress sense, ‘swag’, hairstyle and well-maintained beared, sun-shade and earphones smacked class, choice and fun. This surely is a young man who has chosen to live life to the fullest, regardless.
He’s in a relationship, he declared with a huge smile, as this reporter settled for a brief chat with him. But he’d not like to disclose her identity because he had no permission to do so and would not like to be seen to be taking a loved one for granted. “Can we leave her name out for now?” He politely requested. “I don’t have her permission. At the moment, our relationship is not yet in the open, although guys on campus know us as a pair.”
Both Olayinka and his heartthrob, who later gave her name simply as Oyindamola (although she wouldn’t like her photos printed) are final year students of the University of Lagos, Political Science department. He revealed that the relationship started on a platonic friendship note, back in their Year One. Like some God-sent helper, Oyindamola became friendly with him and soon became his regular companion, helping him get around the campus, helping him do several other things his physical disability would not allow him and generally keeping him company.
“In the end,” Yinka says, “I became emotionally attached to her and I made my feelings known to her.”
The trepidation
Naturally, it wasn’t an easy task professing his love to Oyindamola, for several reasons, Yinka confessed. “To tell the truth, it wasn’t an easy task ‘toasting’ her because here was somebody who had become my companion and helper. She helped me get around the campus and was always there for me. So naturally, I was scared and thinking that if I should tell her how I felt, she might leave me and go away forever. So many questions played in my mind: Will she give me a favourable response? Will she shout at me? Or will she just walk away and never come back?”
But Yinka needed not worry much, as Oyindamola isn’t the haughty type, except that she politely rebuffed his overture.
“She was like ‘This request you’re making of me is very strong o,’ and that she didn’t know how to respond. But what will be, will be. As a sharp man, I knew I had to be strong, persist and never give up. Finally she gave me a ‘yes’ for an answer. Our relationship proper started during our 200-Level in 2013 and since then, we have been together. As I speak, we have become an inseparable pair on campus.”
What about the arguments and quarrels? How have they managed?
Yinka says, “No, we rarely argue or quarrel. We understand each other well enough, so arguments and quarrels hardly come up. One thing I can say about Oyindamola is that she is a girl with a deep fear of God. So she doesn’t even bother about my condition or relate with me based on that. What she would do for a blind person, she would also do for a sighted person.”
How he lost his sight
Yinka lost his sight at age nine in 1995, but he said it wasn’t due to any kind of accident or glaucoma. “It was as a result of a brain tumour which threatened my life. It came up suddenly and was already affecting my sight. The solution, doctors’ said was a surgery. It was after the surgery that I suddenly found that I could not see again.”
Naturally, he was disillusioned and afraid of the future, he intimated. “I started thinking all over again; how to live my life without an organ as vital as my eyes, how to relate with people, friends, move around, achieve my dreams and manage relationships. But as time went by, God has been there for me and everything has been easy. In fact, let me not use the word easy, everything has been perfect. God has really done it for me.” Petit Yinka rounded off.
Oyindamola’s story
The interview with Oyindamola was conducted over the phone, but it nevertheless revealed a lot about the young lady. Although she insisted that her picture could not be used, one could tell from her voice that this is probably because she’s not yet ready for the publicity, and not because she is ashamed of Yinka in anyway.
She spared no word in describing her love for her ‘Romeo’, saying categorically that “I love Yinka. My love for him is deep, very deep…. Yinka is caring, he is understanding, he is everything a woman would want. In fact, Yinka is 100 percent better than the so-called able guys out there.”
Corroborating Yinka’s story of how they met, Oyindamola said: “We met in school at the University of Lagos during our first year and then we became friends. I was basically drawn to him because of his situation. I felt he needed someone to be by his side, so I volunteered myself. Soon, we got close and did things together. And then we became friends. And then, one day in 2013 while we were in 200-Level, he ‘toasted’ me.
“My initial reaction was surprise. I never expected it, so I apologised and declined. But I didn’t desert him. I couldn’t, because we had come to know each other over the years and become used to each other. I guess that gave him the courage and further opportunity to keep pestering me until I accepted.”
Were there pressures on her not to accept?
No, not really. Maybe a few people, but their opinion really didn’t matter. My parents live in Ibadan and they already know about our relationship; they also know about the fact that he is visually impaired, although they are yet to meet him. They understand that it is my choice to make. He is however constantly in communication with my siblings on the social media.
“Interestingly, while some people didn’t seem to like the idea of me dating him, some others encouraged me.” She said.
On challenges, Oyindmola said, keeping the relationship going is not so challenging, despite overtures from other guys. “I simply tell them that I’m in a relationship.”
For the first time, she negates Yinka’s statement in the course of this conversation, when she said “Yeah, we have issues and we quarrel; but that’s like every relationship. In every relationship, there are ups and downs.
“And when we quarrel, it’s never because of his condition or because he is venting any kind of frustration. It’s usually just the normal quarrels.”
Her advice to people who might be nursing emotions for people in Yinka’s condition, but are not able to give vent to it is: “There is ability in disability. People should not look down on other people, whatever their circumstances, because we’re all human beings, created by God and born of parents, and there isn’t any difference between people like him and the so-called able-bodied people.
As if to add a dose of convenience to their relationship, Oyindamola said they both live in Ibadan, hence the two lovebirds are able to continue seeing each other and fostering their love even while on holidays.
Obianuju Osajie and
Kelechi Nwagugu
Uju’s story
Obianuju Osajie has been blind since birth, but her chirpy and playful nature gives you an impression she has no worry whatsoever in life. Maybe not exactly, but a few minutes with Uju definitely endears her to you, what with her sharp voice and tendency to swing one prank or the other at her friends. At intervals, she is the one tapping her visually-impaired colleagues playfully, screaming or laughing out loudest. As this reporter watched the light-skinned Guidance and Counseling student of the University of Lagos, both from afar and at a close range, one thing became clear – she has risen above her disability.
She puts it succinctly when she said: “It’s not that I’m happy about my situation, but life goes on.”
However, Uju has one more reason to be happy. She’s in love. She is in love with Kelechi Nwagugu, a Mass Communication student of Enugu State Polytechnic, whom she says is also deeply in love with her.
“I met him through a friend. No, we didn’t even meet. We actually spoke through a friend’s phone. Then he said he had a crush on me, came to our house in Aguda, Lagos, and we started dating. In 2012, we had a rift and both parted ways. But we came together again last year. If you ask me, I’d say last year marked the beginning of our love relationship proper.”
Is she happy in love?
“Very happy” she replied. “Kelechi is somebody I am able to open my heart to. With him, my life is an open book and I hardly keep any secrets from him. Even when another guy asks me out, he is the first to know about it. He also advises me and we’re each other’s best friend.
Is she afraid she could be dumped someday?
“No. I don’t have any such fear. He is not that kind of person. Besides, he has proven that several times. I’m confident our love will go places. As a matter of fact, I feel great being in love with him. It makes me feel loved and wanted and that my disability is not the end of good life for me.”
Blind from birth
At this point, Uju revealed that quite unlike her other friends like Kemi, Esther and co, her colleagues in school, who lost their sight at some point in their lives, she has been blind from birth. “Yes, I’ve never experience sight. I don’t know how beautiful the world around me is. Of course, that feels really sad, but life goes on. With time, I started adjusting to the reality of my situation; and here I am.”
Never a lonely girl
Even before Kelechi came into her life, Uju revealed that she has never felt lonely, because she’s surrounded by friends and family who keep her company and are eager to be of help. Besides, she said: “I’ve come to understand there’s nothing I can do about it; so feeling lonely or sad is never going to be of any help. In fact, I don’t entertain such feelings.”
With the help of the loving people around me, I’ve never believed I should give up on life. In fact, during my secondary school days, I developed interest in sports and became a runner. When I got into the university, I wanted to drop it, but a friend of mine, a graduating student of Guidance and Counseling, advised me not to. So right now, I’m still an active runner and I specialise in the sprints, 100metres and 200metres. Who knows? Someday, I could end up in the UNILAG sports team and maybe the National Team and perhaps at the Para-Olympics.”
She also looks forward to getting married to Kelechi someday, if God wills it. She revealed that Kelechi is partially sighted, but that that does not change anything. He would still have loved her if he were fully sighted. Something about the way they’ve shared and expressed their love to each other tells her that.
What if someone who is fully sighted comes professing their love to her? “No way!” She said with a note of finality, shaking her head for emphasis. “I’m not likely to even consider.”
Kelechi’s story
Kelechi Nwagugu is back in school at the Enugu State Polytechnic and so this interview inevitably had to be on phone. He corroborated virtually everything Uju had said about him and their relationship, except the part where he claimed that Uju is not totally devoid of sight.
“We met in 2009 while both of us were still in secondary school, although we were not in the same school. I was actually talking to her through a friend’s phone. Then we exchanged numbers and started relating. You may call it love made in heaven, because I never set my eyes on her before falling in love with her. For me, it was more about the spirit leading me rather than her voice being attractive, as many may want to think.
“What actually endeared her to me was the way she talks. I like people who are articulate, and Uju has that ability to communicate very well and speak good English. More importantly, she does not speak as if she owns the world or talk down at people.”
Asked what his reaction was when he finally discovered that Uju was visually impaired, Kelechi said, “As for me, I don’t see that as anything. Besides, I’d seen her several times after that first conversation before our relationship took roots, but it does not matter to me.
Kelechi admitted that he is partially sighted, but said “I see well enough, though not that sharp.”
When asked if he would still have loved Uju, if he wasn’t partially sighted, Kelechi said “Love goes with everything.”
On his parent’s reaction to their relationship, he said, “My parents know her and they’re okay with her. They have no complain whatsoever. My mother speaks with her on phone. In fact, she was to come visiting me at home the last time I came home, but she had gone back to school.”
When reminded that Uju is a pretty and pleasant girl and that she must be receiving overtures from other guys, regardless of her condition, Kelechi said, “Yes she tells me that some guys come after her. I even know some of the boys, because most times, before they go to her, they’d have told me their intentions – probably to taunt me. So whenever she tells me about them, I just tell her, we’re not married yet, so it’s up to you to make your final choice. If you love me, you know what to do; and if you don’t anymore, you know what to do as well.”
Asked if he isn’t afraid that they could have children with sight issues, since both of them have sight problems, Kelechi said, “I’m not afraid of that because I’ve seen totally blind people getting married, yet having healthy children. Besides, she’s not totally blind. She can see a little.
27 year-old Kelechi is a Manchester United fan, and he says he hopes to become a sports analyst when he leaves school.
Yusuf Sanni and Rukayat
Yusuf’s story
Yusuf Sanni, 35 wasn’t born cripple, but today, he literally crawls on all-four, when he’s not on his wheelchair. He told this reporter, how he was hit with a mysterious affliction that left him crippled ever since. “Mum told me it all began one night after I screamed back to life from my sleep. Thereafter, all efforts by my parents to make me walk again failed and as I grew up, I came to realise this is my cross that I have to carry.
Yusuf has indeed carried his ‘cross’ well and with dignity. He has not been disillusioned and has remained very active, engaging in several sporting activities. He declared with pride, “I’m a cobbler, and I’m also into disable sports. I play basketball, do wheelchair race and also play table tennis. As we speak, he is a member of the Lagos State Sports Council team and has participated in a number of National Sports Festivals, including the Kaduna Games, Rivers Games and Ogun Games. He also has two bronze medals in table tennis to his credit, one an individual medal won at the Ogun Games, and another, a team medal, won at the Rivers Games.
Most importantly, Yusuf has a life partner, with whom he is living life to the fullest. He is married to pretty and able-bodied Rukayat and it goes without saying that that is probably his greatest achievement so far. Together, they also have a three-year old girl, Nafisah, whom he says runs around with vigour and excitement. Yusuf got married to Rukayat at a colourful Nikkai (Muslim wedding) ceremony attended by friends and family in Ijedodo, a suburb of Lagos in April, 2012. That was barely a year after they met, Rukayyat, who was present at this interview, volunteered.
Their meeting
We met normally. She was working as a domestic staff in Dolphin Estate, Lagos, in the neighbourhood, where I also lived. The first thing that struck me about her was her humility and her dedication to work. I also noticed that she was always at home, which to me meant she was someone to be trusted. This attracted me to her and made me summon the courage to approach her.
The hard task
To tell the truth, I was scared she would snub me and put me down because of my condition. But as God would have it, I was able to gather courage and tell her my mind.
To confirm my fears, she first turned me down. She was like ‘What do you mean?’ But I had come to realise that that’s the way women behave. So I persisted, and one day, two weeks after, she called me back and said she had accepted.
“Next our big challenge was warding off friends who thought she shouldn’t have accepted to go out with me. Even her mother tried to stop her and battled her over it, but she stood her ground. Let me say here that I didn’t do much in that regard. She it was who fought off all the oppositions. I must however say here that even her mother has now accepted out relationship and we’re now one big family.”
Three years plus after, Yusuf says marriage has been an up and down journey. Sometimes they have disagreements and even quarrel, but they have always found ways of settling it.
Yusuf holds an Ordinary National Diploma (OND) from friends of the Disabled School, Isale-Eko, Lagos, a special school for the disabled. He says the school trains disabled children right from primary school through to polytechnic level. It was at Friends of the Disabled School that he learnt to be a shoe cobbler, which now serves as his vocation and which helps him put food on the table, whenever he is not doing sports.
Rukayat’s story
Rukayat confesses that even she cannot tell what attracted her to Yusuf in those courtship days. “Let me just say it was God’s doing. Of course, I was surprised when he first approached me, but after sometime, I considered his proposal and accepted.
“To tell the truth, I had already liked him as a human being even before he approached me. That’s why it didn’t take long before I accepted. It was more like love at first sight, because we hadn’t seen each other more than twice before he professed his love. But of course I waited for him to make the first move.”
Fighting the oppositions
Frankly, I never thought about what anybody would say because this was my life. And since I was not bothered about his condition, I couldn’t see why any other person should. Amongst my family, it was just my mum that objected initially, but later she understood that it’s my choice to make and she gave her blessing. In fact, she played a big part during our Nikkai Ceremony. As for friends, I really didn’t give a damn about what they thought or still think.”
Rukayat who says she assists her husband in maintaining the home with her hairdresser business, confessed that marriage has not been a bed of roses, but she is happy nevertheless. “Like every other couple, we quarrel and then we settle.”
Her advice to anybody who finds him/herself in her situation is to be “courageous and take a decision on their own, so long as they are sure of their feeling. At the end of the day, it’s about you and nobody else.”
