The Nation Newspaper

Tag: marriage

  • Court dissolves 21-year-old marriage over infidelity, threat to life

    An Igando Customary Court in Lagos on Tuesday dissolved a 21-year-old marriage between Ondeku Ibrahim and Hassanatu Ibrahim over infidelity and threat to life.

    The court President, Mr R. I. Adeyeri, said that all efforts to reconcile the couple had proved futile, as the petitioner insisted on divorce.

    “The court has no choice than to dissolve the union, in spite of the fact that the wife still claims she loves her husband.

    “Both parties are no longer husband and wife, they are free to go their separate ways,” he said.

    Adeyeri ruled that the custody of the children, Nurudeen, 14, Ahmed, 10, should be referred to the family court within the Lagos Judicial Division, while Lateef, 21, and Mohammed,18, are old enough to decide where to live.

    The president also ordered the petitioner to pay N50, 000 for rehabilitation costs for the respondent.

    The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that Ibrahim had filed a suit seeking for the dissolution of the marriage over wife’s infidelity and threat to his life.

    Ibrahim, 45, a school proprietor, told the court that his wife, Hassanatu, was having an affair outside their matrimonial home.

    “I caught my wife with a man locked inside her shop. I knocked, for her to open the shop, but she refused.

    “I called her phone, it rang but she quickly switched it off. After I waited for hours and they refused to open the door, I left,” the husband said.

    He also said that his wife was threatening his life, his members of staff, and the parents of his students.

    “She called my family in the village that she would kill me one day, that if she is unable to do it personally, she will send someone to do it for her.

    “She is also threatening the lives of members of my staff and the parents of my students with bottles, stones and cutlass.

    “She will stand at the gate, either with a cutlass or bottle, threatening to stab anyone who wanted to gain entrance into the school premises,” the estranged husband said.

    Ibrahim said he had lost 20 teachers because of her action, while parents kept withdrawing their children from the school.

    Responding, Hassanatu Ibrahim, 38, a hairdresser, said that the man her husband saw in her shop was a bricklayer that wanted to help her build her house.

    “I locked both of us inside my shop because I wanted to give him money to start the building and I do not want anyone to know about the house,” she said.

    She described her husband as an ingrate and that she brought her husband from the village, and got him his first job, and that they both established the school 10 years ago.

    The wife said that their agreement then was to share the profit together.

    Hassanatu said that her husband refused to abide by the agreement, as he did not want her to know anything about the school.

    She said that her husband had evicted her from their matrimonial home.

    “My husband rewarded me by throwing my property out six months ago, and also stole my N385, 000.

    “That was why I used to go to the school to harass them, so that he could give me my money,’’ she said.

  • Consequences of defiling the marriage bed (II)

    Dear reader, You are welcome to this week’s edition of Family Forum. I strongly believe that God who has started a good thing in you, will surely perfect all that concerns your marriage and family.

    This week, I shall be considering: Causes Of Bed Defilement. Last week, I shed light on what marriage bed is all about. It is not your piece of furniture called ‘Bed’ in your bedroom, but the sexual union that is between you and your spouse. It is a sacred thing and a covenant that you cut on your wedding night. This is what makes you and your spouse one.

    The Bible says: Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4 emphasis mine). Marriage was designed to deposit unique honour on man. Yet from Hebrews 13:4, we see that God attaches a condition for honour; the bed must be undefiled. Sexual immorality is what defiles marriage bed. Whether you are married or not, engaging in sexual relationship is deeper than what meets the eyes.

    It is only within the context of marriage that guilt does not accompany sex. Defiling the marriage bed, as a single person, is the quickest route to experiencing shame in marriage whether you are marrying the person involved or not. As a single person, do not think that you are not defiling any bed, since you are not married. This might be a deception of the devil.

    The Bible make it very clear: Flee fornication, every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that commiteth fornication sinneth against his own body…your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost… ye are not your own. (I Corinthians 6:18,19). You are not your own, you belong to God, Who will in turn give you to a man that you deserve. Until wedding vows are exchanged and the marriage ceremony solemnised, no man and woman are scripturally permitted to engage in sexual intercourse.

    On the part of those that are married, adultery is a very serious sin that God frowns at. The Bible defines it as lying with another man’s wife (Leviticus.20:10). As long as either the man or the woman is married and has sexual intercourse with one other than his or her spouse, he or she has committed adultery. God will judge all who do this.

    Extra-marital affairs do not just happen; there are factors that could trigger this evil in anyone that is not sensitive to the devices of the devil. The number one factor is covetousness. The Cambridge Advance Learners Dictionary defines covetous as: desiring something too much, especially something that belongs to someone else. Covetousness is one of the things that God specifically told Moses to warn the children of Israel against (Exodus 20:17).

    This sin could lead to many other terrible things, including sexual sin. It is covetousness that makes you think that a lady outside is more beautiful and better than your wife. Also, a covetous woman will always prefer another man to her husband, thinking the man is richer or more handsome. A single lady that is covetous will sell her body to get money, because she is not satisfied with the little that she has.

    Another factor that could lead to sexual sin is wrong association. Who are your friends? The type of friends you keep will determine your life pattern. A lot, today, both married and single persons were introduced to this pervert way of life, due to bad friends. The Word of God says: Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character (1 Corinthians 15:33 NIV).

    No matter how good you may think you are, if your circle of friends is those that have no respect for ‘marriage bed’, you will be surprised that you will soon lose your marital dignity.

    No one can overcome this nature, except by the power that is in the Blood of Jesus Christ. Give your life to Him and you shall be saved. If you are ready please say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today, I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today.

     

    Congratulations!  You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com; Tel.  No: 234-1-7747546-8; 07026385437; 07094254102

     

    For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work and Building a Successful Family.

  • The book that encourages women to use condom in sex outside marriage is causing problems between a wife and her husband

    The book that encourages women to use condom in sex outside marriage is causing problems between a wife and her husband

    We want you to help us resolve a matter. A wife told me that the husband doesn’t trust her. She said there was a book she had about marital ethics written by a pastor. In a portion of the book, the pastor supposedly advised married women to use condom in case they want to have affairs outside. And when the husband read it, he told her he hope she uses it (condom). She said she was shocked by the husband’s comment. She said that since then she has changed her attitude to him and they’ve been living like cat and rat. What is your take on that? – Victor.

    Dear Victor, if indeed there is a book like that, then it has the potential of surpassing the notoriety Salman Rushdie’s book, Satanic Verses. Really, I wouldn’t have wanted to waste time addressing this issue because I still find it difficult to believe that a pastor would publish a book encouraging sex outside marriage by advising that if it should be done, a condom must be used. But on a second thought, I’m going ahead to address it because so many things are happening now in the world of religion. Many heads of the different religions are losing it daily and so much sex is taking place in the secret. A friend told me just like week that the married head of her religious denomination gave her an appointment to meet him at a luxury hotel for the weekend. His wife has travelled for business and since he had been trying through gifts to get my friend’s attention (and she too had been accepting with joy), he felt it was time to cement the relationship. She didn’t find the invitation funny and wanted to embarrass him by informing other members. She came to me to see if I could help publish the drama if she carried out her plan. I advised her against embarrassing the man, and instead put a call to him man to desist from practicing his fantasies on members whom he was supposed to lead to God. So such religious leaders are everywhere, but writing a book and trying to put a stamp on adultery is crazy!

    On your friend’s issue, I guess the husband is just being too reactive in this matter. Yes, it might have shocked him that his wife could be reading a book like that. Maybe things would have been different if she had called his attention to that controversial portion of the book and they had discussed it together. Maybe the husband is acting the way he is doing she didn’t show much disdain for that portion and in any given relationship, an I-don’t-care attitude to issues of cheating, even in a joking way, gives a wrong impression.

    Your friend has to have a talk with her husband and let him know where she stands on the issue of sex outside marriage. She has to make him know that she doesn’t support extra-marital affairs condom or no condom and if there are things she’s doing to make the husband suspicious, she should stop them. She was the one who brought the book; she should be the one to tear all forms of suspicions from the man’s mind. As for the book, can I have its title and probably a copy?

    I may be able to see if or not the pastor is being quoted out of context or not.

  • Consequences of defiling the marriage bed

    Dear Reader,

    I welcome you to this glorious edition of this month’s teachings. This month, I shall be sharing on one of the loopholes found in marriages, today. It is why many homes are under the heavy load of self-inflicted burden and the reason for the lack of peace and love in many marriages.

    Marital infidelity has been the major problem in most marriages in this present dispensation.

    This week, I shall be teaching on: Understanding The Marriage Bed. This foundation will help you to better understand and know the importance of the marriage bed. When a man and a woman are joined together in marriage, they enter into a formal agreement, which is legally binding.

    In the presence of their friends and relatives, they pronounced their vows and commitment to stay together for life (Matthew 19:5-6). This can be accomplished by a feast in the family of the bride. Jesus was a part of such a feast as recorded in John 2:1-2: On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding.

    Marital relationship is a covenant relationship. Marriage is the only covenant in the Bible that allows two people to be perfectly joined in all areas of life, from the physical to the spiritual. This legal contract has a seal. The seal lies in the consummation of the marriage – sexual intercourse. The ‘altar’ upon which this covenant is cut is termed ‘marriage bed’. It is not just the physical bed upon which you first slept on your wedding night or a piece of furniture in your bedroom that is important to God, but sacredness of the union that exists between you and your spouse.

    Sex is sacred to God because God is a God of covenants. For every covenant God makes, He gives a sign. There is the rainbow as a seal of the covenant that God will not destroy the earth with water again (Genesis 9:12-13). For marriage, there is a blood covenant between the two individual that are involved.

    On the wedding night, as the marriage is consummated, God expects to see the hymen break and blood flow, thus sealing the covenant of marriage between husband and wife. Virginity, therefore, must be taken seriously. No human custom or modern day ideology can change that. Here is one of the Old Testament commandments as it concerns virginity: But if…the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: then they shall bring out the damsel… stone her with stones that she die… (Deuteronomy 22:20, 21). This implies that you must keep yourself pure as a young man or woman that desires to have a fulfilled marriage.

    Therefore, any sexual relationship engaged in, outside the covenant of marriage, defiles and is called sin. It must be repented of and forsaken.

    Perhaps you have defiled your bed at a point in time, there is a place of mercy that allows for repentance. First, you need to acknowledge your sins and be ready to forsake them. Give your life to Jesus Christ and you shall be saved. Do you want to be born again? If you are ready, please say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today, I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today.

  • Jide Subair gives marriage another shot

    JIDE Subair, who was once married to Sherifat, the daughter of billionaire businessman and politician, Buruju Kashamu, is giving marriage another shot. This time, Jide will be getting married to Lagos big babe, Nike Bush, on Saturday, May 4, 2013, at Haven Events Centre, beside Arch Bishop Vinning Memorial Church, Oba Akinjobi Road, GRA, Ikeja, Lagos.

    The wedding is expected to be attended by who-is-who in the Lagos social and political circuits, owing to the fact that Nike is the daughter of respected Lagos political leader, Alhaji Bushura Alebiosu, and younger sister to Hon. Dayo Bush, a member of the Federal House of Representatives representing Kosofe Federal Constituency. About three months ago, Nike gave birth to a baby boy in Canada for the father of two, and the relationship took a notch higher when they got engaged.

  • Mikel denies marriage plan talks

    Mikel denies marriage plan talks

    Declares I know Sandra, but we never discussed marriage!

    Nigeria midfielder John Mikel Obi is bristling at reports that he is about to get married to model Sandra Okugbue.

    A national tabloid reported on Monday that Mikel was set to wed the former toilet soap model, but the midfielder angrily dismissed the claims.

    “I don’t understand where this is coming from,” Mikel told KickOffNigeria.com on Monday.

    “I know her. We’re friends, but we haven’t spoken in a long time and definitely not about marriage.”

    The report claimed that the traditional introduction has been scheduled for this Sunday in Onitsha, but Mikel was firmly categorical in his dismissal “There’s nothing like that,” he said.

    Mikel played in Nigeria’s 1-1 draw against Kenya on Saturday, and joined the rest of the squad in attending a reception held in honour of their African Nations Cup triumph by Akwa Ibom State governor Godswill Akpabio on Sunday in Uyo.The midfielder flew out to London later that night.

     

  • Emeka Ike takes stand on gay marriage

    Emeka Ike takes stand on gay marriage

    FIERY Nollywood actor, Emeka Ike, who is on self-imposed sabbatical from the industry, recently took a stand against legalising gay marriage in the country at Vchannel Celebrity Night Out at Troy Lounge in Lagos.

    Emeka, while fielding questions from Vchannel presenters, said Nigeria should not follow the footsteps of United Kingdom (UK) that legalised same-sex marriage recently. ‘Knowing our penchant for ‘copying’ others I want to plead with Nigerians not to encourage same-sex marriage. I don’t hate gays but I don’t support gay marriage either. God does not want it, our culture forbids it. We should not encourage what is not right. This is about defending whatever is left of our culture. Nigeria should not go the way of UK, we are people of culture. I want our legislators to stick to their guns and not legalise what will be eroding our culture and make us a godless people.’

    He also spoke about family, acting and the lingering AGN crisis. Actors Chidi Mokeme and Yomi Fash-Lanso were at the event to support one of their own.

    Vchannel’s ‘Celebrity Night Out’ holds every other Friday with a major celebrity as guest. He will be put on the hot seat to answer questions from presenters of the cable channel and audience. He will then club till late night with friends and fans at the popular mainland hangout, Troy.

  • Marriage: A divine origin (3)

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome to this wonderful time in God’s presence. I started this teaching by unveiling to you, marriage as a divine origin. Last week, I taught on, companionship.

    This week, I will be examining, The Obligations of Husband’s in Marriage.

    The man is the principal figure in the family unit. Bishop David Oyedepo often says, “Anything that has two heads is a monster.” The same principle is applied to every other human institution. There is one head for an institution, who takes responsibility for the happenings per time. God designed marriage in the same way.

    Man – The Head: The husband is the head in every God-ordained marriage. This position is not debatable. The Bible puts it this way: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body (Ephesians 5:23). God reckons with his position as head of the home, and holds him responsible for any mishap that occurs there. For instance, when things went wrong in the Garden of Eden, God did not question the woman, rather, Adam was the one held responsible.

    The man is the principal actor in every home. Until the husband accepts his responsibility as head, there can be nothing like success in that family. I am not referring only to men who are married to Christian wives, but also to those who are married to unbelieving ones (they probably got married before they got born again). If the men accept God’s instructions and do them, their homes will be very successful. But what is the master key to making the home successful?

    Love

    The love responsibility is the master key. Love is the instrument a man uses to make his wife a glorious woman, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing. Therefore, the making of any wife is in the hands of her husband.

    Do you want a glorious wife without spot or wrinkle, holy and pure? Then, love your wife as your own body! By so doing, you would have created a glorious wife. Love is the price you pay for a glorious home.

    Giving

    Giving is the practical expression of love. John 3:16 says: For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

    One of the ways a husband should express his love for his wife is by giving. A husband should willingly and joyfully give gifts to his wife. How much (quality) is given is not the issue. He should rather accept his responsibility, by joyfully giving his wife gifts. That is what counts. It is the man’s responsibility to provide for the home. When a man stops looking after his household, his life becomes worse than that of an unbeliever. No matter how much tithe and offering he gives, God says he has denied the faith and will suffer the same fate as an unbeliever.

    Communication

    Love is also expressed in communication. I call it seasoned communication. Ephesians 5:26 says: That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. You are expected to cleanse your wife by the washing of water by the Word. That implies that every word of your mouth must be seasoned with sail, giving grace to the hearer (Col. 4:6)

    God has given you control as the head of the home; be a smart driver, otherwise that family is heading for an accident. For instance, if you notice that your wife is downcast, you should ask her what the matter is. You must not open up your home to malice or discord. You can prevail over them all by knowledge.

    For you to successfully carry out your obligation as the head in your marriage, you need the grace from above. The right place to begin from is a personal relationship with God, through Jesus Christ. If you want to start this relationship right now, you can say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today, I am a sinner. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today.

    Congratulations!  You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com; Tel.  No: 234-1-7747546-8; 07026385437; 07094254102

    For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work and Building a Successful Family.

     

     

  • Marriage: A divine origin (3)

    Dear Reader,

    You are welcome to this wonderful time in God’s presence. I started this teaching by unveiling to you, marriage as a divine origin. Last week, I taught on, companionship.

    This week, I will be examining, The Obligations of Husband’s in Marriage.

    The man is the principal figure in the family unit. Bishop David Oyedepo often says, “Anything that has two heads is a monster.” The same principle is applied to every other human institution. There is one head for an institution, who takes responsibility for the happenings per time. God designed marriage in the same way.

    Man – The Head: The husband is the head in every God-ordained marriage. This position is not debatable. The Bible puts it this way: For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body (Ephesians 5:23). God reckons with his position as head of the home, and holds him responsible for any mishap that occurs there. For instance, when things went wrong in the Garden of Eden, God did not question the woman, rather, Adam was the one held responsible.

    The man is the principal actor in every home. Until the husband accepts his responsibility as head, there can be nothing like success in that family. I am not referring only to men who are married to Christian wives, but also to those who are married to unbelieving ones (they probably got married before they got born again). If the men accept God’s instructions and do them, their homes will be very successful. But what is the master key to making the home successful?

    Love

    The love responsibility is the master key. Love is the instrument a man uses to make his wife a glorious woman, without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing. Therefore, the making of any wife is in the hands of her husband.

    Do you want a glorious wife without spot or wrinkle, holy and pure? Then, love your wife as your own body! By so doing, you would have created a glorious wife. Love is the price you pay for a glorious home.

    Giving

    Giving is the practical expression of love. John 3:16 says: For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

    One of the ways a husband should express his love for his wife is by giving. A husband should willingly and joyfully give gifts to his wife. How much (quality) is given is not the issue. He should rather accept his responsibility, by joyfully giving his wife gifts. That is what counts. It is the man’s responsibility to provide for the home. When a man stops looking after his household, his life becomes worse than that of an unbeliever. No matter how much tithe and offering he gives, God says he has denied the faith and will suffer the same fate as an unbeliever.

    Communication

    Love is also expressed in communication. I call it seasoned communication. Ephesians 5:26 says: That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. You are expected to cleanse your wife by the washing of water by the Word. That implies that every word of your mouth must be seasoned with sail, giving grace to the hearer (Col. 4:6)

    God has given you control as the head of the home; be a smart driver, otherwise that family is heading for an accident. For instance, if you notice that your wife is downcast, you should ask her what the matter is. You must not open up your home to malice or discord. You can prevail over them all by knowledge.

    For you to successfully carry out your obligation as the head in your marriage, you need the grace from above. The right place to begin from is a personal relationship with God, through Jesus Christ. If you want to start this relationship right now, you can say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today, I am a sinner. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today.

    Congratulations!  You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com; Tel.  No: 234-1-7747546-8; 07026385437; 07094254102

    For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work and Building a Successful Family.

  • Marriage: A divine origin (2)

    Dear Reader,

    I welcome you again to this exciting week, in the presence of God. Last week, I taught on, Marriage: A Divine Origin. This week, I shall be discussing the topic: Companionship.

    In Proverbs 27:17 the Bible says: Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

    In the first unveiling of the marriage bond, God said: It is not good for the man to be alone… (Genesis 2:18).  Eve was created as a companion for Adam and vice versa. The Hebrew word for “companion” expresses a close personal relationship. In marriage, a man and a woman are to become intimately united in body, purpose, thoughts, and goals -”one flesh”.

    The idea of partnership, companionship, the combination of husband-wife mind-power, a shared dream or vision should not be ignored, lest the union is impoverished.

    For instance, there are some decisions I would have taken that would not have profited me; but because I’m privileged to be married to my husband, a man of integrity, who is sincere and godly, those errors were avoided

    If your marriage begins with the clear understanding that companionship is a vital pillar of your relationship, then this concept becomes a powerful force which encourages a permanent bond.

    The secret behind good companionship is the rule of leaving and cleaving, which is an essential part of a marital union.

    However, there’s no way two pieces of iron can sharpen each other, except they both come together in contact. Thus, this provision only works when you are united as a couple.

    Friend, you can tap into the honour God has reserved for those united in purpose. But the problem with many families, and the reason nothing seems to be working, is that many times, both parties have not caught the same picture of their desires. They are not united in purpose, so they slow down their blessings from coming.

    You need to apply this spiritual principle of agreement, to see your dreams come true.

    The right place to begin from is a personal relationship with God, through Jesus Christ. If you want to start this relationship right now, you can say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today, I am a sinner. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today.

    Congratulations!  You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com; Tel.  No: 234-1-7747546-8; 07026385437; 07094254102

    For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work and Building a Successful Family.