Tag: Married

  • Single, Married  and Complicated  hits cinemas

    Single, Married and Complicated hits cinemas

    COME Friday, August 15, Silverbird Distributions Limited will release Single, Married and Complicated, the sequel to award-winning 2012 movie, Single and Married.

    The movie, which will be released simultaneously across cinemas in Nigeria with a red carpet premiere, will hold exclusively at Silverbird Galleria, Victoria Island, Lagos.

    The premiere, according to the producers of the movie, will showcase a parade of stars from Nollywood, Ghollywood and other entertainment icons from various sectors of the entertainment industry.

    The star-studded movie features Yvonne Nelson, Chris Attoh, Eddie Watson, Anita Erskine and Tana Adelana, who were part of the original movie, while John Dumelo, John Gardiner, Alex Ekubo and Eazzy join the team to make for an even more interesting sequel.

    Produced by Yvonne Nelson Productions, the steamy romantic comedy is written and directed by Pascal Amanfo.

    Nelson described the movie “as a natural follow- up, in order to give a good finish to a great tale.”

    Single, Married and Complicated is a captivating movie based on an everyday story that the ordinary African can relate to. It is once again told in a narrative form, with Anita Erskine as the narrator. The movie centres on Jay, Kimora, Andy and Vida who return to a re-plotted tale of love, life and living, as they seek to find an answer to the questions bothering them.

  • If I wasn’t an actress, I’d have been married  –Collette Orji

    If I wasn’t an actress, I’d have been married –Collette Orji

     Although she holds a Higher National Diploma (HND) in Chemical Engineering, Collette Orji has been making a living out of acting. In this interview with OVWE MEDEME, she gives a peep into her career, charity and business, among others.

    You seldom appear in movies in recent times. So, what have you been up to?

    Personally, I have been working more on stories that I have been selling and on scripts that I’ve been writing. I have been doing a lot of screen plays. This year, I haven’t worked much. I have done just four films and two of them were cinema movies. I’m really falling in love with the cinema system. There is something about it that is just gearing me up to it. For me, I think I would be doing more of cinema films as much as it comes because it doesn’t come every day. Apart from this, I run my business as well as my NGO. I won’t be fully based in Nigeria again because I am expanding. I live in Abuja and the current state of insecurity there is getting me crazy.

    Are you leaving the country because of insecurity?

    Not at all! But it’s driving me crazy. I wasn’t there when they happened. I was on holidays when I heard of the recent bombing in Wuse II. It was very emotional for me because I go there almost every other day. I have some guys whom we do movie business with and they were also traumatised by the bombing. It is like when you had an accident on a road, you will have a phobia when next you have to travel on that same road.

    By writing more of scripts, are you saying goodbye to acting?

    Are you kidding me? I don’t know what else I know how to do in this world. I will be featuring in some of the stories I write. Sometimes, you don’t want to be featured in the stuff you write. But in the movies that I produce, I will be featuring in them.

    Which of your scripts have been made into movies?

    Some of them are War against Tradition and Bleeding Heart. Sometimes, the name with which we write a script is changed when it is made into a movie.

    How soon are you coming out with your own production?

    I would have done it already. I am ready, in terms of the story and the actors. But I am not sure of the finances because I’m trying to do it on my own; and if I put everything I have right now into it, I will go broke (laughs). I am a businesswoman. I have to put some things in place so that it will not affect my business. I need a couple of months more.

    What business are you into?

    My business registered name is Coco House. I deal in clothings, women’s hairs, make-ups and all that. I also have an NGO called Coco Medicare Foundation. It is mostly for women who need medication and who need to go to hospitals for medical check. I’m in partnership with a couple of hospitals in India. Apart from working with the women, one-on-one, I am like an intermediary.

    So far, how has it been running the foundation?

    We will be a year old in August, which is also my birth month. My birthday is August 1. Within a year, we have done so much. This year, we went to a community in Anambra State and took care of about 200 primary school children who were returning to school. We also took care of the elderly in the community; so, we are trying to work on what we will do for the one-year celebration. We are still planning. We haven’t really given it the final picture, so I can’t say exactly what we are doing. I will be in Nigeria for that.

    Who runs your business when you are away?

    When it comes to my NGO, I’ve got a team in Nigeria. Gone are the days when you had to travel to sign a business deal. I have my team for my NGO. I have my staff and a personal assistant for my movie jobs. I was called down to do a job recently, but I am not done with my holidays. I looked at the whole story and the money wasn’t that interesting, so I turned it down.

    Who is your closest pal in the industry?

    We don’t like to call out names. I’ve got friends as well as colleagues. Everybody is trying to create a working relationship and we don’t want to come out sounding like I’m closer to this person than that. So, I’m cool with most people.

    Are you in a relationship?

    I am in a relationship.

    Is your man based in Nigeria?

    No, he’s not.

    How does he cope with all your travels?

    He also travels a lot, so it’s both ways.  Also, there’s Skype, so it’s easier to travel these days. Even if you are married and you have to travel a lot, keeping in touch is not difficult anymore. Sometimes, we meet in other countries.

    Is he comfortable with your career choice?

    Yes, he is. The thing about me is that I try to be honest about things. If he is not comfortable, he won’t be in the relationship because nobody is holding his legs and hands down! But there are always concerns. Trust me, if I wasn’t in the industry, I guess I would have been married a long time ago.

    Is the industry holding you back from getting married?

    It is not holding me back. But to some extent, it holds back some men. So, by holding the men back, it is holding me back. People watch our movies and they form their impression about you before they meet you.

    Are you in anyway trying to break into the movie industry in the UK?

    No. But in the U.S., I have opportunities to do that and I’m exploring them. In the UK, I haven’t even tried. I’ve just been with my family. I’m just moving from one person’s house to the other. There is something about me. I’m not trying to do 50 movies in a year. I don’t want to be on all the posters in the whole country. I want a private life. I want to just maintain consistency. That is what I want to do. I want to be able to do my business, have a family and still be able to maintain that consistency.

     It sounds contradictory that you want a private life in a career that puts you in the public eye…

    It is not. Doing movies is a career; it is my job. That is what I do; it is not who I am. I want to be able to have my family, my kids and I am looking forward to things like that. But my job stands.

    How soon do you hope to get married?

    I will be getting married when I get married. I am an adult and I’m in a relationship. I would love to be married, but it is not entirely up to me. That is why I say that. I don’t need to be wearing a wedding ring before having my baby. I can have my baby, if I want to. That is family, isn’t it?

    Is it, for you?

    (Laughs) I don’t know. So, let’s leave that for now.

    Talking about physical appearance, what attracts you in a guy?

    I think when you look at a man, you should look at his eyes because they can tell you a lot. The eyes are the window to his heart. It could be fake, but when you look at the eyes, you will see a lot. I am not attracted to looks and things like that. You have to see before you talk to somebody. Sometimes, you see someone and you don’t need a minute to know what that person is like. When I’m with someone, there are things that tell me the person is kind. Is he someone who can tolerate me? Is he someone who believes that there is God, so he minds his actions? Those are the questions I ask myself. There is no big deal about all the other stuff.

    You were known mostly for doing epic films. Is that still the case?

    I don’t have a problem with that. I just love Africa; I just feel like we have a lot of stories that have not been told. Even if it has been told, I just feel like my voice must be heard. You won’t say because there are a million books in the world, so you won’t write another one. We should let our voices be heard. So,I don’t have a problem with it. The other part is because I don’t really like getting too sexy in movies. I try not to be too sexy in movies. I’ve been trying, but it is not easy. I don’t want to do crazy things. I don’t have a problem with doing it; but somehow, I have this discomfort with exposing too much.

    Why wouldn’t you want to showcase your beauty in a movie?

    I am pretty and that is okay. Of course, I do that in movies, but a scene can be created and told without telling too much. Not everything must be shown explicitly. Sometimes, when it is necessary in a story, I can do it. But sometimes, you look at a story and you realise that, without a particular scene, it still makes sense.

    Have you ever been approached to act nude?

    No! I don’t need to do it. I think nudity is not beautiful. Being completely naked is not a beautiful thing. It is lovely when you are passionate in a movie scene and the more you look, the more you want to see; yet, the less you actually get to see.

    With your love for acting, why did you choose to do a science course?

    (Laughs) I’m a bookworm. That’s what was happening to me. Back in school, I was so much into books; and at the same time, I loved the social life. I don’t know what would have happened, if I wasn’t a little bit social. I think I would have been a geek.

    I thank God that I had a little social life. I had always loved Nigerian movies. I was born in Cameroun and even while there, I watched Nigerian movies a lot. It was the only thing I could do. That was like the message I had. That was the only way for me to know Nigeria. That is why I love the movies. They go so far. While in Cameroun, I watched all the movies. I knew all the actors and everything that was going on in the industry. So, when I came to Nigeria, it was the only platform that I really knew. Every other thing I used to hear about Nigeria was bad. The only thing that was sterling was the movie.

    Will you be putting them to use at some point?

    I still plan to have more. I will go back for more degrees. Maybe I’ll do a Master’s. At some point, I will put them to use. I am here with my family and we are having a lot of talks. They are expanding my ideas and talking to me about so many things. So, I’ve come to the conclusion from everything I’ve heard that I will.

  • I dated Wunmi for 10 years before we got married—Tunde Obe

    I dated Wunmi for 10 years before we got married—Tunde Obe

    Music couple, Tunde and Wunmi Obe, have proved that it is possible for a couple to practice same profession and still remain committed their marital vow. Since the couple appeared on the nation’s entertainment scene more than two decade ago, they have worked hard to remain relevant, releasing works that have stood the test of time. In this interview with GBENGA ADERANTI and SEGUN AJIBOYE, Tunde, who said he was lucky to have a wife like Wumi, speaks on their career, marriage and other issues. Excerpts:

    YOU have just dropped a single. When was the last time you released an album before that?

    The full album T.W.O. Legit came out in 2010. But we have been releasing videos since then. The last video was Atewo. It came out in July. So, give or take, we have been off the scene for two years.

    What is the title of the one you have just released?

    We released two singles of the album TWo Plus. It will be coming out before the end of the year. But the single is Green White Green, in which we feature Tuface Idibia and another one called Wedding Day where we featured Teniim.

    What secret has sustained your marriage with Wunmi?

    First and foremost, it is about taking your profession seriously. We’ve been around for 26 years. We’ve been together since 1988.

    Even before you got married?

    Yes, we got married in 1998. Ten years later, we started as Tunde and Wunmi before we became Tunde and Wunmi Obe (TWO). We’ve been together ever since.

    So you were friends for 10 years before you got married?

    Yes, friends, partners, whatever one wants to call it. We were planning towards it. We were in school together.

    So you knew you were going to be married?

    Yes, it was a natural thing. We were like twins.

    You’ve been around for 26 years and we’ve not heard any scandal about you. What is the secret?

    First and foremost, we have to look at our backgrounds; the kind of homes we grew up in does not even give room for certain kinds of behaviour. Our parents were very strict with our upbringing. Secondly, two of us respect each other a lot. So, whatever the disagreement we might go through, it is always between the two of us in-house. It never escalates beyond where it should be.

    I’m not one of those who believe that you should have a scandal to be relevant in the industry, because some people use scandal to create a name for themselves. You are aware that your colleagues are interested in scandals than good stories.

    So, how have you managed to remain relevant for 26 years?

    People should enrol in my school; I will teach them how to live without scandals (laughs). But jokes apart, it is all about consistency. If people can rely on you to always give them good music each time you release a new track, people should always expect that it should always be above average, always on point, there is no other secret.  And also, we created what I call ‘class brand.’ Once you do that, you will find that people will always want to identify with you, especially when they are doing certain events. Few people fit in to certain events. We do more shows in Aso Villa than most Nigerians.

    But not many people get to hear about this?

    Because those things are dinners; maybe you are hosting a president and we are there. It is not the normal crowd party; not the normal concert.

    What other things do you do apart from music?

    That is going into my own area where I don’t talk about. Definitely, you know that as an entertainer, someone who has been around for a long time, there is no doubt that I have other businesses.

    I mean other things like waking up in the morning and going to the office…

    I monitor my investments.  I have my hands in some things here and there, but I don’t always like to go into that.

    Do you make more money from your Aso Villa shows than any other place in entertainment?

    Not necessarily. I charge everybody the same. The truth is this: consistency is not just about your music; it is also about how people perceive you. If you call me for your engagement and you find out that I was charging you double because I found that you have more money, you would not appreciate it. So, we have a fixed fee and it is the same. Once we are leaving our base, which is Lagos, we charge you on all-fare, accommodation, transporting equipment from Lagos and other things that go with it. We don’t charge exorbitantly just because they asked us to come and do gig at the Villa. It is the same gig.

     

    How does it feel to sing for the President?

    Truth be told, I think I have performed for every President. It is an honour; a privilege. I’m not the only one; there are so many Nigerian artistes who get to perform at the dinner at the banquet hall, Aso Villa. It is a gig as far as we are concerned. You gave us your brief, tell us what you are expecting from us in terms of presentation, and we do it.

    One thing we noticed about you is that you always come out with different things. What is the secret?

    I think that is part of what has made us to last this long. I think being predictable itself is a minus.  When we started music in the 80s and the early 90s, the artistes that were performing then were serious musicians. We’ve now moved from analogue to digital. If you now step into the studio to record, you had better know what you are doing. And then music was all about message. As we progress, we try to marry the two. In the new album, especially, we try to make sure that 90 per cent of our songs have messages, and that is what has carried us through the test of time.

    “If you are going to pass a comic message like Mogbo, Moya, it has to be something you can also identify with not just comedy. But if you really sit down to look at it, you will realise that everybody sees these things happeningaso ebi, what colour did they take? A lot of people attend parties, but they don’t even know the organisers. It is when you get there that somebody points at the celebrant. And most people have attended such parties. It is a comedy but also a reality.

    And in the other songs, we do speak the truth. Like in the last album, we did Fine bara. If you are in Nigeria and you have not experienced it before, then you have not been here for long. When you are coming out of somewhere and someone says, ‘Excuse me please, can I have a minute of your time? You see, actually I have an uncle, he is sick, I need to go and buy blood.’  They tell you all manner of stories. Someone in a suit comes to tell you, ‘I have an appointment, but somebody just snatched my purse.’

    Some people see it as the truth, others see it as a lie. But these things do happen, and if we make a song about them, people will be like, ‘Ah, this thing happened to me o.’

    One would not have expected you to know all these. Your father was an ambassador and your wife’s father was a publisher…

    Common, we all live in Nigeria, so you can’t escape it. Even if you are coming out of the bank or anywhere, once they identify you, even at the airport. It has happened to me at the airport more than anywhere else. Somebody will come with a story or a bandage that he is supposed to have surgery, with pieces of paper in his hand at the airport. I don’t know how they enter the place. They say, ‘Oh, there is surgery; this in the bill for the surgery.’ He would lose the hand and say, ‘If they don’t do the surgery, something bad would happen.’

    The person would look so pathetic. You come back three weeks later, maybe the person said he needed N50, 000 and you were able to squeeze out N5, 000 from your pocket, and you say if you see another nine people who are as generous as me, you can rush and do your surgery. Some people will even squeeze out N10,000 and say just go and get the rest and do the surgery. Three months later, you still see that person with dirty bandage! There is nothing wrong with that hand. He has wrapped the hand, stain it with something and he is still there with the same paper saying what he needs this money for. Then you wonder if this is his own profession. He is a professional ‘fine bara’.

    You mentioned the black tie earlier. Is it a deliberate effort to carve an identity for yourself and Wunmi?

    A lot of musicians tell you that they are from the streets. Some come out and say ‘my music is for the street.’ We try not to brand our music and say it is for the street or it is for the upper class. We just play good music. It is for everybody, but in terms of the brand, the packaging, it is an upper class brand, and that is why you find that more of our events and shows are tilted in that direction.

    Even if I try to be street, people will look at me and say,’This is not who you are.’ So, branding is not about you trying to be somebody; it is about embracing who you are and selling that to the public. Champagne and beer will both intoxicate you, but probably a bottle of champagne will buy 50 cartons of beer. So, you go for your pocket.

    What informs what you wear?

    I’ve always like clothes so I don’t believe in following anybody’s trend. I just do my thing, but I’ve always liked clothes, be it native or suit. I’m a suit person. I like a lot of suits.  I have a natural ability to put things together. I’ve never used a stylist like most people do, because I’m my own stylist. I know what suits me best. Everybody has different body types.

    How many suits do you have in your wardrobe?

    I’ve never been somebody who checks my record to brag about things I own. But I have them many.

    What other fashion ornaments do you use?

    Yes, I wear rings, wristwatches, chains.

    Some people would say they don’t use gold because it itches or for other reasons. Which of these do you not use?

    That is when you’re not wearing real gold. Real gold does not itch. Perfume is my weakness. I have a few of them and I use them depending on my mood.

    Which brand is your favourite?

    There is one which everyone knows on me; that is Easy Miyaki. I have been using that for about 15 years. I have others that I like, like Boss.

    What made you fall in love with Easy Miyaki?

    There is a fragrance that becomes you. People say any time they smell it, they think of me. It has just become part of me and I love it. There are perfumes that become a part of you.

    How often do you and your wife go out together?

    It becomes an event thing when we have somewhere to go together. But sometimes, we grab ourselves and say look, let’s run away from all of this; let us just switch off our phones and let us have two, three days of our own.

    When you are out, how do the people see you or receive you?

    I try not to go to places where I will be rushed like that. You know you go to a place, when people approach you, they do it in a respectable manner. I don’t like people jumping all over me. I try to avoid such scenes.

    Does it mean that the two of you don’t sometimes disagree?

    I don’t think we have something others don’t have. It is the God factor if you are lucky enough to meet your real wife. I always tell people, no matter how patient a guy is, I could be in another marriage now and that won’t last a year. I could be married to another person whose behaviour does not suit me. There are women whose behaviour you cannot stand. I’m lucky and she is also lucky. Two people who are level-headed. The thing is like we take our relationship very seriously in the sense that If you are in any relationship, don’t try to lord it over your partner. I’m the boss. The bible said it: the head of the family. But I respect my wife’s opinion and I carry her along in everything we do.

    There is no way you give your wife respect and she would not reciprocate it, except she is a very bad person, and my wife is not. If I give her 80 per cent or 90 per cent respect, she tries to give me 99 per cent; always trying to top it. I’m lucky in that regard and I think we talk a lot; we communicate a lot. We sit down on issues. We don’t leave room for misunderstanding. A lot of people bring their marital problems to me. A guy will be telling you that he noticed that the wife has been doing X,Y, Z as against what she used to do in the past. The first question I ask the guy is what did you do? He says ‘I’m watching her. She thinks she is smart; I will mesmerise her when I start doing my own. You’ve already set up your marriage for failure.

    So, if your wife is going wrong, the first thing you should do is not to come and tell. Lock yourselves in the room and tell her where she is going wrong. ‘You say you used to be like this when I first met you, but now, you are doing this.’ Make an attempt to correct your wife. Explain to her that you are missing certain things that she used to do and you’ll like them back. If the woman is the kind of woman that will never change, who will continue to get worse, then it is a different matter. But try first to sort out your matter not through a third party.

    You know most people have ego and ego in the fastest thing to ruin a relationship. Ego should not have any room between husband and wife, especially if two people who knew each other from the very beginning. What kind of money will you now have that your wife, who was good then, is no longer good enough now that you have money? You’re now seeing young yellow girls who are now looking better than your wife who struggled with you when there was nothing.

    What some people don’t realise is that even a 70-year-old man with lots of cash will get a 25-year-old lady to marry. Is that love? He is deceiving himself. If that woman genuinely loves him, what he should have tried to do is to go to her house with slippers. He would have heard the story of his life.

    Does that mean you don’t quarrel at all?

    No, no, no. We don’t quarrel in the sense that my wife and I have never in the 26 years of our marriage raised our voices at each other. What we do is that if she does something I don’t like, I don’t talk and I try to digest what has upset me. And that is how I deal with everybody. I call my friend, my wife or whoever to say these and these and these are what you did. The person’s reaction is what makes me to know the next step to take.

    But if you have a good wife and call her and say these and these are what you did, a good wife will always apologise first and foremost. My wife has no problem with getting oin her two knees to say she is sorry. Oh yes, she is a good woman. She has no problem with that. And once she apologises, the rest is easy.  If you love your wife, you will forgive her instantly whatever she might have done, especially if you know she is a good woman. Where will I find another person to replace her with? Is it now that I realise that she is no more a good woman?

    You are from Ondo, and people from that part are believed to have a lot of ego. Do you not to have the traits?

    I do in the sense that everybody has a little bit of pride. If you disrespect me, I come at you differently. If you treat me with respect, I’m a very respectful person, that is how I was brought up. From the time we were small, my father used to make me respect our domestic servants, even when we were in America. So, I treat my children the same way. Anybody who is working for my father is not working for you. You treat them with respect. Some of them have children of your age. That was how we were brought up. If you come at me wrongly, you will see a different person. But if you come at me with respect, you will get respect. It is reciprocal as far as I’m concerned.

    How much has that training impacted in you?

    Just about everything, because I used to see my father, he would leave our big house in Ikoyi to a far away place to eat in somebody else’s house. When they see him, they say, what is ambassador doing here? He was very free with people. I saw the love people used to give him because of his humility and it really impacted my life.

    It is one thing for your parents to train you, it is another thing for them to lead by example, for you see them behave in certain ways and you just follow those traits. So, when you see the way he related with people, there was no way I was going to grow differently. Most people that work with me have worked with me over a decade. I have a driver that has been with me even before I had my first child.

    How much of your father’s influence do you have in you?

    Where we are the same is that he is a very respectful person. He is very generous, nice and funny. Those are the attributes. I think where I think I differ with him is that I’m not as sociable. I’m in entertainment but he was a diplomat. But I saw the same lifestyle in other diplomats too. Whether he is sick, whether he is tired, people were always in our house.

    As a diplomat, your job is always to welcome people and make sure you are doing your job. In whichever country we found ourselves, Nigerian would always come for one thing or the other. He took them from the office to the house. He fed them and solved their problems. That is where we are a little bit different. I may not be able to do that I cherish my privacy a lot more than my father did. He did not have privacy; he was always around people and people were always around him. But I try to cut down a little because I realised that not all the people you think you are doing good to think you are doing good to them and they don’t reciprocate.  Sometimes you should protect yourself by having a little bit of privacy in your life.

    Considering that you are handsome, you dress well and you have a fat pocket, does your wife sometimes feel threatened?

    No, my wife is a confident woman. I give it to her any day, any time. There was even a time I asked her, the way these ladies come, don’t you feel somehow? She was like ‘I know my man, if I begin to show every small thing, I’m nervous, I’m panicky, I’m reacting to every single text or call on the attention women give you, wouldn’t you have got tired of me by now? But I just have to give you your own space. I trust that you will do the right thing always.’ When a woman gives you that kind of leverage it behoves of you to respect yourself even more than you would have.

    Tell me the good, the bad and the ugly experiences you have had in life.

    Well every achievement is good. When you succeeded in the next project or you put something on something and it yields, it is always a good moment. The worst moment I have ever had was losing my father. Of course, it still ranks number one. Losing my younger brother-in-law, Jaiye, that was a nasty experience; something I never want to relive again in my life. It made me change a lot of things about life because I realised that life itself is just a passing phase. I started really thinking about my children. I really started putting things in place for them just in case something happens to me, they wouldn’t go through any hardship.

    It changed my mindset about life; that it is transient. Young people are dying, not to talk of those people who are at the other side of 40, almost 50. When you look at life like that, you think that what you leave behind is most important than what people perceive of you. I’ve never been somebody who is really worried about how successful people think I am. What matters to me is how successful my children think I am, and when I’m no longer here.

     

  • I’m getting married soon, what can I do to gain weight?

    My name is Jenny from Calabar. I am 25 years old. I wasjust going through a magazine and I saw people talk to you about their problem. Here is mine – I am having a problems adding up weight. I have tried taking something but it’s not working. Please what do you think I should do because I will be getting married soon so I need to be full in my attire? Please help me.

    I was so happy when I read your concern. While most brides would do all crazy things to lose weight before their wedding day, you actually want to look round and healthy. Good. You must look great in the dress and in the photos because hundreds of guests would have their eyes on you and you don’t want to look hungry and too thin. We want to see those curves and not make people worry about whether you would be able to get pregnant fast. Some people are just born naturally skinny, but if you’re looking to put on a little healthy weight, there are many simple tricks you can do.

    1. Don’t go for “empty” calories. While chips and cookies look like the easiest way to put on weight, you want to put on HEALTHY weight. Go for snacks that have a fair amount of calories, but also a lot of nutritional value. Peanut butter is great for this. Mix it with carrots, crackers, apples, or anything and you have a delicious, healthy snack.

    2. Exercise. Yes, you need to exercise to gain weight. Yes! Lifting and weight training help your body gain muscle weight, which is the best kind of weight for your body to put on. Start off slowly if you aren’t used to doing this kind of training. Increase weight and decrease reps as you go along.

    Make sure to fill up on protein directly after a workout. This will help build muscle. Protein shakes are a great way to do this, and there are many different brands and flavors to try.

    3. Make sure all of your food groups are present in every meal.

     

  • I really don’t know  what it feels like  being married —Bayo Alawiye

    I really don’t know what it feels like being married —Bayo Alawiye

    His sojourn into the creative world has seen him direct Project Fame West Africa reality TV show and popular game show, Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. Growing up in the suburbs of Agege, actor, director and producer Bayo Alawiye didn’t give in to the litany of distractions he was faced with as a young man. He struggled to get university education even after the death of his father. The fast-rising moviemaker speaks about his rumoured relationship with actress Laide Bakare, his marriage and his latest movie, Dark Side, in this interview with AHMED BOULOR.

     

     

    DID you ever date Laide Bakare?

    I get a little edgy anytime people ask me this question because I do not know what gave rise to the question in the first case. I will answer it all the same. For the record, I have never dated Laide Bakare. The only reason I can attribute to people’s insinuation was probably because we acted in some movies together. I directed only two of her movies and she acted in two of mine. The issue has been over flogged.

    Are you friends?

    Yes of course we are friends. We met way back in school, the University of Ibadan. When I wanted to shoot my first movie, she was the first person I contacted to play the lead role because she was the only Yoruba actress I knew personally then. Unfortunately, she was not in the country. So, I eventually cast Moji Olaiya for the role. When I was ready for my second movie, she was available, so she played the lead character. I also have friends like Taiwo Ibikunle and Gabriel Afolayan who have always been in my movies too.

    Did you study Theatre Arts in the university because you knew you were going to end up in the movie world?

    I actually went to study Theatre Arts to get myself ready for the industry. I started acting a year before I went to the University of Ibadan. I was with a group called Solid Foundation Theatre Group. We were performing in clubs, ceremonies, market places and so on. As at that time, I was in Ogun State University, now Olabisi Onabanjo University, Ago Iwoye. At some point, I felt I needed to pursue acting as a career. I wanted to sharpen my skills so I went in for Diploma in Theatre Arts. I was later admitted into the degree programme after having acquired a distinction in the diploma programme despite the fact I had a science background. It was during my degree programme that I majored in directing.

    As the director of MTN Project Fame reality TV show, how much has that experience helped your career?

    Directing MTN Project Fame West Africa is actually one of the landmark moments in my six years sojourn into the creative world. I was part of the first set of content directors of the show. My bosses thought I did well, so, they started giving me more responsibilities. Right now, I am directing my third season. I must confess that it was a different experience for me when it started because my background was purely drama. I was just new to reality TV. Right now, Project Fame West Africa has become the biggest for me because it is the biggest music reality show in Africa and I’m just so privileged to be part of it.

    You are also the director of the popular TV game show, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire; tell us about that experience?

    Who Wants To Be a Millionaire is a different ball game entirely. The show is a school on its own. To be part of the show, you have to learn the format. It took me close to six months to have a grasp of the format. Now, directing it is like bread and butter. Believe me, I am one of the luckiest directors around. To be directing the two biggest shows on TV, it is what I call a blessing. The experience has been that of a student graduating from one stage to another, and the learning continues.

    What was growing up like for you?

    Growing up for me was full of ups and downs. I grew up in the Agege area of Lagos where you see young boys of fifteen getting married because he has learnt a trade or the other from about eight years of age. I grew up in the midst of impossibilities. There was virtually nothing around to inspire a young man growing up. I found inspiration from the fact that I never wanted to be like the people I was seeing around me. So, I kind of blindfolded myself, I assumed then that I did not belong there. I lost my father during my earlier days in the university. With the help of God, my mum and my brother, I was able to pull through school. Here I am now, by His grace.

    Are you married?

    Yes I am married to the most beautiful woman on earth. We also met in the University of Ibadan. Believe me, if I say she’s the best thing that has happened to me, I will not be exaggerating. We have been married for seven years now and still counting. Really, it looks like seven months.

    What is it like then being a married man?

    Really, I don’t know because I and my wife still operate like young lovers. We only did the official wedding thing just to satisfy our parents. I actually call her “girl”. Truth is my wife married me when I had nothing. She didn’t bother about my state. She was just following me blindly. Her tag line then was ‘you jump, I jump’. Really, for me, it’s sweet being a married man. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have our down moments but love and God have been seeing us through.

    Do you have kids?

    Yes. I have a girl and a boy – seven and four years respectively, whose school academic result I’m staring at right now and I feel like a proud father of two brilliant children.

    Tell us about your latest movie titled Dark Side?

    Dark Side is a project that came about from the efforts of two young men, Dare Dada and my humble self. We both share the same dream of doing something creatively exceptional, so we put resources together and bankrolled the movie with our entire life’s savings. I even sold my car at some point. All that is now history because the film is done; it took us about two years to put it together. It is the story of a man whose blindness opened his sight to the atrocities of people around him. The story came about as a result of some random thinking, some wondering, and some “ifs”. What if one can see what people do in one’s absence or read people’s thought?

    What were the challenges encountered while shooting Dark Side?

    First my assistant director had an accident during the shoot. It took us about three months to get back on location. The first set of actors we already contacted became busy. We waited for some and replaced others. Funding became a huge issue at some point too that we started shooting in bits and pieces, as we saved enough. It was the drive to do something unique that carried us through. Right now looking back, I think it was worth the stress and the wait.

    Did you have any issues with the cast?

    I had no major issues with cast of Dark Side. I worked with the best set of people in the industry. Joseph Benjamin stood with us all through the process. Sylvia Udeogu, the lead girl started using her own costume when we exhausted the ones we bought, even Uru Eke was wonderful. There was no diva on set. We all worked like professionals and friends. The veterans, Nobert Young and Yemi Solade, also helped a great deal. On this project, I was blessed with great actors and wonderful crew members.

    How much went into shooting Dark Side?

    If I have to quantify everything that went into the production of Dark Side in terms of monetary value, I’ll say approximately N35million.

    How are movie watchers reacting to the much talked about movie?

    In fact, people’s reaction to the thriller has been overwhelming. To be candid, I was sceptical at some point; I didn’t know how people were going to receive it. I must assure you that this is not the kind of movie that the trailer will be more interesting than the movie itself. I urge everyone to see this. As I said to somebody this past week, with this movie, I wanted people to be able to say ‘wow! If this guy had a hundred million, he would have competed favourably with Hollywood.

    Is the movie Dark Side your biggest project yet?

    For now, Dark Side is the biggest of my movies. It is a movie that took all my life’s savings and my friend’s. We are yet to recover.

    How many other movies have you produced and directed?

    Asides Dark Side, I have produced five movies which are coincidentally Yoruba movies. My first project was Ija Okan. It was released in 2006. I then followed with Ala Mi, then Richie Richie which came out last year. I played the lead character in all these movies and also in Dark Side. I have two more Yoruba movies coming out in April and June this year. I have also directed and acted in a number of movies for people, some of which are Demilade, Ise, Ibare, Mase, Eri, Oritoke and a few others. On television, I was a director on Edge of Paradise, an MNET drama series. I created and directed the first 26 episodes of About To Wed, a sitcom and a few other production credits on TV.

    Would you say it is favourable producing movies here in Nigeria considering the seeming obstacles you go through in getting a movies done in this part of the world?

    It is clearly not favourable producing movies in this environment. However, it is the environment we found ourselves so we have to make the best of it. I have severally said that low budget is not an excuse for a bad movie. Right now what I look out for in our movies are attempts, creative attempts. I know we will get there soon.

  • My married boyfriend told me that he can’t leave me for any other man

    Dear Sister Deola, good evening ma. You don’t know me but I have been a regular reader of your column for long. Please advise. I have a boyfriend that looks after me. I just found out he’s married and I wanted to leave him but he told me that he can’t leave me for any other man; that he’s going to marry me dandan (by force). I love him and he loves me but can I marry a married man?

    The fear of all women is the other woman and in this case, you’re the other woman. I have attended many ‘second-wife’ marriages and so, I cannot say if or not your man is lying that he wants to marry you. I know for sure that girlfriends eventually become second wives in some cases. Time will tell in your own case.

    I cannot stay here and say do not do it. You obviously are settled in this relationship and it is certain the man is carrying out duties towards you, which I cannot do for you if I ask you to leave him.

    If your religion is in life with polygamy, then, go for it if he is truthful about his intentions. If your parents are in support, then I have no say. But before I sign off your case, below are some articles I came across which you may learn one or two things from:

  • Things a woman should  know before getting married

    Things a woman should know before getting married

    IT is every woman’s dream to be whisked away on a white horse by a prince charming from a foreign land.

    However, soon after the dotted lines are signed and the wedding gown sits on a hanger, they tend to realise that marriage is far from the bed of roses they thought it would be. For many, it is a ride to hell.

    In spite of the seemingly insurmountable difficulties associated with getting married, there are a few wisdom nuggets every spinster should have at the back of her mind before saying ‘I do’. They will help moderate your expectations and give a guide on how to wriggle out of sticky situations.

    1. Get Financially stable

    Far too many women are stuck in bad marriages simply because they do not have a valid way to support themselves or their children should they leave.

    Get an education or trade and pursue a career that interests and challenges you. Know how to handle your finances, earn money on your own terms and only accumulate as little debt as you can realistically handle. Don’t expect parents or partners to bail you out of financial trouble. Learn to be your own financial hero.

    If your partner falls ill, your husband loses his job or something bad happens, you need to be able to financially stand on your own two feet.

    2. Become a good cook

    That cliché which goes ‘the road to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ is absolutely true.

    Mrs. Agnes Sumonu, a wife and pharmacist, explains: “I have been married for 16 years and there is no day I have not entered the kitchen to prepare my husband’s meals. It is not like I enjoy it but it is how I show him I care about him and every time he comes home, you can see the joy on his face when I serve him his food. In my house, there is no quarrel a hot plate of pounded yam and egusi can not settle.”

    If you are not such a great cook, you can learn by going to a cookery school or getting a trusted friend to teach you.

    3. Know when to stop fighting

    The gospel truth is that you cannot win every battle, even when you are right and he’s wrong. Sometimes, he might just want to be stubborn or maybe he had a rough day at work and he wants to use that opportunity to transfer aggression or prove ‘he is a man. Let it go!

    Sharing a personal experience, Mary Ekpo who has been married for seven months says, “I learned my lesson the hard way. My husband knows I do not like it when he throws his clothes on the floor and I would start complaining each time he did it.

    “After a while, this little issue began blowing up into major fights and he stopped listening to me completely. Until one day, I prayed about it and decided I was going to stop complaining. Once he came home and dropped his clothes, I would calmly pick it and give him a hug. That solved it. After about a week, he began arranging the room and did his own laundry.”

    Just like Mary, sometimes the solution to some of the challenges we experience are in simply staying calm and letting go.

    4. Have a responsible mentor

    No man is an island and everyone needs sound advice once in a while. That is where a mentor comes in. She does not have to be your pastor or boss at work. She could just be a woman who is older and more experienced than you and has an evidently great marriage.

    Your mentor is someone who you can count on not to lead you astray. But always remember to think through whatever advice you are given; if it does not match the teachings in the Bible or Koran, run for you life.

    Finally read books. They will expand your mind and give a fresh perspective on every issue.

  • Even as a married woman you can be single

    Even as a married woman you can be single

    Nkechi Alli-Balogun, former Chairperson, Lagos State chapter of Nigerian Institute of Public Relations (NIPR)and Principal Consultant, NECCI Consulting, shared with Adetutu Audu why she is passionate about public relations, her involvement with matured singles and why marriage is not the ultimate thing in life.

     

    YOU are one of the notable public relations practitioners we have around here; do you think we are practicing it the way it should be done?

    In those days our people were interested in public relations office because PR is like a goal that projects future to the present. It also enhances the social aspect of it even in the negative. You will learn that at the end of board meetings they did all kind of things, you heard that they arranged this, they arranged that, but today that is not so. Our employers are more educated, our employers know more about public relations; the global aspect is also enabling us to understand more about public relations. And people today are bringing out the words, the public and the relation. So, now that we have an in-depth knowledge of what public relations is all about. Today, public relations professionals in Nigeria have embarked on many developmental courses in trying to do what their counterparts are doing in America because of the facilities they have in place, but then we need to change our thinking. Our thinking must be global if we want to achieve what they have achieved.

    From your response, we still have challenges in Nigeria, what are these challenges?

    If you want to look at it from that point of view, there are lots challenges in Nigeria as in people need to change their mindset of what public relations used to be in the past. What do I mean by that? People think practicing public relations is all about giving people money, so you find people saying why is that client giving you problem? Come on, give him what he wants. And before you find out what it is, they are talking about money. And when you are working with the set of people like that, you will discover that everything will end up with money and that is why so many of them think that public relations is all about giving bribe, which is not.

    Anytime I come across such people, I just laugh at their ignorance. And that is one of the major challenges we are having in public relations because they believe that everything starts and ends with giving people money and that is one of the major challenges that we have; employers not having a broad knowledge of what public relations is all about. Though we do have organisations where we can find people who have a broad knowledge about public relations and we believe that a major difference will change the reputation of an organisation. And when the organisation starts having crisis, what most people do is damage control. A good public relations officer will bring about preventive measure in that organisation, so that there will not be crisis all the time.

    Talking about governance now, what do you think is wrong with Nigeria’s image?

    I always like coming out clear when I want to answer such question. To be candid, I don’t think public relations is well appreciated in Nigeria. We the practitioners, our job is always at stake and looking at the environment, most times you find out that Public Relations Officers are not being paid anything in their job or their profession. How many PR practitioners in this country would you say like their job? Some years back, I knew a lot of people that would tell lies because they didn’t want to compromise their job. So, in this country there is the issue of poverty, and it is such a problem where a man has wife and children and also has an extended family, and you ask him to come and practice PR. If you are not truthful, you cannot practice PR. Now, managing the truth and saying the truth become two different things; if you know the truth and you are able to manage it, that is one thing, and we have a lot of PR practitioner, who will not say it the way it is all because they don’t want to lose their jobs, and they know the right thing to do.

    So everybody is compromised. And apart from this, we have the person who knows the value of what PR is all about. If it is not valuable, a minister wouldn’t have started the branding process, and that was the height of it. It is not that people don’t know the truth, but people like walking away from the truth. So many people say that constitution is the problem, but to me constitution is not the problem because whatever constitution we have, we should understand the constitution and respect the constitution. The issue is not whether we appreciate the constitution, the issue is are we ready to practice public relations according to the tenets of the practice? Public relations is truth well told. We have so many truths in this country that need to be told. We are the one that have tied ourselves, I will keep on saying this at every given time in every opportunity. Is South Africa better than Nigeria? And I don’t like it, and I feel insulted when we compare Nigeria with Ghana.

    Are you going to compare the population of Ghana with Nigeria? Are you going to compare their facilities and everything? Are you going to compare the number of educated people we have in this country with Ghana? No! Recently, I was watching the news of a collapsed building in Ghana, I didn’t see it on CNN. But if it is in Nigeria, we are the ones that will be the first to send the picture or even upload the videos on YouTube or even to the international media. What CNN is writing about us, we are the one, that gave it to them.

    PR well applied and handled by professionals will bring out the country from the shackles of bad image. And I think that is what Prof. Akinyuli was trying to do, but instead of surrounding herself with PR practitioners, she surrounded herself with advertising practitioners. We need people who will handle our image well. So we can have the right people who can write the right story, who know the right time and who understand the code of the people in terms of demography, in terms of education, in terms of finance, who understand who the major stakeholders are, the investors and the community people, what they expect. And these things are a two-way directional thing.

    Does being a female pose any threat to you in the profession?

    Thank God in the business I do ,I don’t panic, and thank God my faith also gives me that confidence. And I remember what my Bible says about creation of man. It says male and female, he created them; everybody in this world is always in need and there is a joy in the Lord that gives you the ability. So, the ability to will and do is in me. Whenever I am faced with any challenge in my profession, I just take it as part of me. The level of education today has made a lot of women move away from the back, even the people in the middle are at the front and that is what education does for you. So I don’t see any challenge as a woman practicing PR. Though, sometimes when we go for elections, men will flaunt their egos.

    I could remember years ago as a PR manager when I got to where I was going, they would ask: are you the PR person of this organisation? And they would start praising me and be looking at me with surprised. And meanwhile, what they came for was different and they would take your official hour from you and before you realise what is happening, you would discover that it had nothing to do with what they came for. So these are the issues. They want a woman and this woman is proving difficult to do the other thing, and that is having a relationship with them.

    What is your life-guiding philosophy?

    Be the best in whatsoever you do and do it without compromise. This has guided me during the course of the year – accept who you are. What I just believe is that if what I do will make me to be successful in life, I will be there and I will never parade myself.

    What inspired your fellowship for matured woman?

    What inspired me are my activities in NGO. I have an NGO, Right Initiatives, which has taken me into women issues. And I discover that there are lots of stigmatisation against women, especially when a woman approaches the marriageable age. As soon as a girl clocks 25 years there is always a pressure from everywhere, you are not married, your mates are married and all that because we have placed value on this, and then you will see our females ending up with the wrong people or doing so many wrong things so that they will be able to get married, so that they will be able to satisfy their families. The word single has nothing to do with marriage, if you are single, you are single, even as a married woman you can be single; marriage. Is never the ultimate. I think who you are and what you come to the world to do, your purpose in life and your faith in God matter most.

    On a lighter note, do you also practice PR in your marriage?

    I usually don’t like talking about my family in interviews, but I tell you there is nothing like practicing PR in marriage. I thank God we have been married for the past 20 years; our marriage is based on the tenets of the Bible. So, I thank God for keeping us this far.

  • Being married is wonderful —Muma Gee

    Being married is wonderful —Muma Gee

    Gift Iyumame Uwame, popularly known as Muma Gee, is getting prepared for her music concert, tagged ‘Help Save a Life Relief Concert with Muma Gee’. Having spent close to two decades on the scene, the River State-born artiste has remained one of the most sought-after in the industry. In this interview with AHMED BOULOR, this eccentric, but talented artiste reveals the secret that has sustained her over the years, among other issues.

     

     

    WHAT is the focus of your concert? The focus of this concert and the Muma Gee Foundation is that we will definitely make noise and campaign until the United Nations comes to our aid. A lot of people have been suffering and they’ve been rendered homeless as a result of the recent flooding in some states in the country. If the United Nation’s does not come to our aid, the side effects of the flooding will pose a huge health hazard to our people living in areas affected by the flood, especially those in the Niger Delta.

    This is the time for us to pull resources together and call on well-meaning Nigerians to contribute their quotas towards making life more meaningful to those affected by the recent floods. We want the United Nations to come to our aid, and I know if this has had happened in Sierra Leone, the UN would have intervened. I am surprised because nobody is taking into consideration the plight of the people that have been affected by the floods. People are in need of help, they are in need of warmth and succour. However, I would like to use this opportunity to thank the Ahoada West Local Government Council for supporting the concert and for also lending their voice to help save the lives of people affected by floods.

    Are your colleagues in the entertainment industry helping in any way to pass across this message?

    We have not really sought the help of others in the entertainment industry because this is more like the beginning of the whole process of trying to get help for displaced people. But we hope that the few that get to hear the message we are putting out will contribute their own quota towards making life more meaningful to displaced persons affected by the recent floods.

    What happens after the campaign?

    We held a concert, tagged “Help Save a Life Concert with Muma Gee”, on Sunday, November 4, 2012, at the Ahoada West Local Government in Rivers State. It was powered by the local government. There will be another one on the 18th of November at the Aztech Arcum in Port Harcourt. I also have a theme song that is dedicated to this cause, it is entitled ‘Iji’. The song will be released and launched on the 18th of November.

    Why did you decide to stage the concert on your birthday?

    The 18th of November is supposed to be my birthday, but we decided make that day unique by launching the album for the victims. The song is especially dedicated for the flood victims, and we will be looking at how much we will be able to raise to be able to assist them and get to rebuild their lives all over again.

    Let’s talk about your forthcoming album…

    Cuts in…My forthcoming album is entitled Motherland and I have a video for my latest single, ‘African Woman’. The album was originally due for release in February, 2013, but I had to halt production to put together some songs to add to the album, including the theme song ‘Iji’, which means flood. The idea is to raise funds for affected victims. The theme song will be launched with other songs on the Motherland album on my birthday, which will also coincide with “The Help Save a Life Concert with Muma Gee” concert. The concert will witness performances by Prince Eke, Arthur Pepple, Kamboye Sinclair, JJC, Fingerman Flash, Burna Boy, Prince Hezekiah and Romeo without Juliet among others.

    I hear you have a foundation; when was it set up and what is the focus?

    The Muma Gee Foundation was set up n 2002, and we have been involved in a couple of campaigns. We had campaigns on HIV/AIDS sometime ago. We’ve also been concerned with aged people and the girl-child in the society. But we feel more moved to be involved in giving a better life to people displaced by the recent flooding. And that is why we are doing what we are doing now in order for us to get the message out there. I think God has blessed me so much, and He has also placed me on a pedestal where I can use my status to rally round and give support to those in need. I have a plan to mobilise those in the music industry, and luckily my husband is an actor, so he will take care of mobilising those in the movie industry.

    What is motivating you in this latest effort?

    I have always been a passionate person when it comes to humanitarian services, and that is because of what I think God has created me to be. I get easily moved because I am an emotional person. I wouldn’t say this is a doctored venture, it is just happening now and I am being swept away by the plight of the people affected by the recent floods. When I started my career as an artiste, I used to make it a point of duty to visit the motherless babies’ home. On the other hand, it is not everything you do that you go public about because service to humanity is between you and God.

    Do you apply any of the survival strategies learnt while you were part of the Gulder Ultimate Celebrity Showdown in trying to give succour to those affected by floods?

    I have always been a very daring person. And as a daring person, I try to go beyond my limits. We got pictures and clips of the damage done by the floods, and we had to be daring enough to take such pictures because of the nature of the terrain. I am naturally made strong, and that is why sometimes when I perform, people ask me where I get my energy from.

    Despite the fact that hip-hop seems to have taken over the airwaves, you have managed to remain relevant. What is the secret?

    What makes me wax stronger is the uniqueness of my style as an artiste, which I call the ‘Afrotastic Skillashy style’. And the fact that I promote African values and heritage with my songs even makes me to wax stronger than others, though you may want to say that too much attention is not being paid to such style of music for now. Come to think of it, hip-hop is African, but it is more youth-oriented. My latest album will tilt towards current times, as I intend to make it more contemporary. But it will still have traces of the past.

    You’re also into fashion designing. Do you design your dresses?

    Yes I do…

    How long have you been in the trade?

    I have always tried to look different from others ever since I started doing music. Most people describe my style as bizarre, while others see it as creative and African. It has been me all the way, and I hope to open new frontiers for myself in the world of fashion in years to come.

    We also learnt that you have ventured into acting…

    Yes I have…

    Did you embrace acting because your husband is a thespian?

    No. Not really. I had always been into acting before I started music; I read theatre arts at the University of Port Harcourt. Acting was a platform to define myself and I later evolved into music. But music was, and has always been my first love and I naturally chose it despite the fact that I was trained to become an actor.

    A recent report had it that you and your husband won a multi-million naira movie project. How true is this?

    I am sorry… I am not in the right frame of mind to answer that question. I will comment on that when the time is ripe enough.

    What has it been like being a wife?

    It has been a wonderful experience and I pray that God grants me and my husband more exciting days ahead.

  • Married women love me more than single ladies

    All through my love life, it has been disturbing as married women admire me and show love to me more than single ladies. I am a bachelor and I’ve been willing to engage a lady for marriage but always I make attempt in keeping a relationship, I could not find love. But wherever I go and have contact with married women, they tend to admire me much and wish to keep me away from having relationship with any other woman. I don’t want to commit adultery but the pressure on me has been too much. How can I escape this since most of these married women are caring?

    My brother, any married woman that tries to get you in her bed is digging a grave for not only herself, but you too. Once a woman gets married, she belongs body and soul to her man. So all these women showing interest in you are silly. If they’re tired of their marriages, they should leave rather than cutting corners.

    I really wouldn’t know why single girls would not find you good enough. Could it be that you’re so handsome girls feel insecure around you, or you’re so matured they can’t handle you? Whatever the problem may be, try to ask those who know you well what they think your problem is. It’s also possible that you love older women and so, you’re free around them and they show you the green light as a result of that. If that is the case, get the attention of an older woman who is single (she could be a divorcee or a widow) and try to start a relationship. But married women? Don’t go there.