The Nation Newspaper

Tag: season

  • Suicide in season of anomy

    In societies with responsive and responsible leadership, the increasing rate of suicide is all that is needed to put things right. But here in Nigeria, the major concern of those at the helm of affairs is whatever threatens their hegemonic control of the national commonwealth. While suicide is not peculiar to Nigeria, the dimensions of suicide in Nigeria and the characterisation of those who have attempted or actually died of this reflects the mood of Nigeria. A society experiencing sudden changes in its social structure will alter the lives of her citizenry who may find it difficult to adjust to the new social reality. Put in other words, the country is hard and we live in anomy and what follows is anomic suicide. Emilie Durkheim, in his study on suicide noted that ‘what the rising rate of voluntary deaths denotes is not the brilliancy of our civilisation but a state of crisis and perturbation not to be prolonged with impunity’. By that he meant actionable policies, pragmatic enough to halt people from exiting the world ‘untimely’, must be formulated and social support mechanisms put in place. This is because Durkheim believes suicide to be a ‘pathological phenomenon becoming daily a greater menace’. Of course people now come to the public to voluntarily kill themselves. Because, suicide is mostly of social origin, understanding this and remedying it socially may be a timely intervention.

    Only a society with moral power (hardly true of the present Nigeria) can exercise control over the needs and aspirations of her members. In this season of crisis (recession, unemployment, loss of jobs, unpaid salaries, business collapse, botched relationship, poor/weak bonding, hunger etcetera), Nigeria lacks the moral power to regulate the needs and aspirations of her people who are experiencing unprecedented changes in their needs and values. This is why suicide is on the increase during this anomic season. Durkheim had categorised suicide into egoistic suicide (which occurs when man no longer find a basis for existence in life due to excessive withdrawal from the society and lofty but unaccomplished aspirations); altruistic suicide (insufficient individualism); and anomic suicide (which results from man’s norm-lessness and moral deregulation and its associated sufferings). The underlying deductions extractable from the narratives of those who left suicide notes or those rescued on their way-out-of mother earth as well as observations of those around them attest to the anomic state of things.

    History of kingdoms and their rulers are replete with suicide as voluntary action or imposed/induced. Kingdoms were ruled by warriors due to its functionality, a need for defence against external aggression. With such responsibility to protect their people, a conquered kingdom becomes a slave to the conqueror while the head of the ruler of the defeated kingdom is cut off as a means to humiliate and shame a supposed powerful entity. In the face of imminent capturing of self and defeat of his armies, a king may act ‘manly’ to demonstrate responsibility and bravery. This story is better told that he was met dead than he was captured, shamed around the kingdom and had his head severed. This is why the Yoruba saying – better to die than being shamed – aptly captures such suicide which is both altruistic and egoistic in character. The king may also be pressured to ‘open the calabash’ in other situations. The king could also save his community from impending danger by sacrificing his life for the community and thereby preserve his name and his people. Thus, suicide can be committed as a sign of bravery/sacrifice; an expression of guilt; acceptance of failure in responsibility and above all, to avoid shame. Voluntary killing does not end there; its unintended consequences are borne by the significant others who have to live with the stigma of having a suicide instinct in their family blood. For instance, people may prevent association of marriage between their children and family of a debtor who committed suicide unlike a warrior who sacrificed his life for his people to live. This however happened in relatively homogenous communities where collective conscience subsisted.

    Fast-forward to contemporary forms and dimensions of suicide. Different approaches had been adopted to achieve termination of their lives: from jumping into well/river, hanging self to the ceiling, poisoning, stabbing, electrocution and gunning. Suicide cases reported are also planned and well executed: people want to die covertly and spring surprises to attract sympathy or overtly such as those who went to the scene of suicide with their driver and kids. At the University of Ibadan, an undergraduate lady reportedly drank ‘Hypo’ because of a botched relationship. That phenomenon is now called “Hypo-love”. Why should we bother? That people attempted to and resorted to taking their own lives should trouble us. They point our attention to reasons underlying their decision; mostly the narratives of those who committed suicide and left notes (it is instructive that leaving note is a conscious state of feeling of responsibility by the person who committed suicide to those who will ask questions about the incident), narratives of the relatives and the narratives of those rescued from dying are vital data which must be used in designing interventions both by state and non-state actors.

    No human being can be happy unless his/her needs are sufficiently met including being accepted as a member of a group. In other words, if the needs fall short of expectations, human beings will only painfully function and respond to social reality. Human needs are insatiable and we compete on a social stage where all men are born equal but some are more equal than others. How will people with normative responsibilities not give up when governments owe salaries of eight months!. How shall people not give up when they have borrowed to get involved in MMM and the handlers decided to halt money circulation? Why will people not die in a country where the reality being experienced by the ruled is different from that which is experienced by the rulers? Why will people not die when society expects so much from them yet they are seen as less human or failures when unable to fulfil societal expectations? What is the worth of the life of ordinary Nigerians? What is their standard of living? How many thousands have been put out of jobs due to the ongoing recession? Who supports the vulnerable in Nigeria? We even steal from the Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs) yet we wonder what endeared people to the Boko Haram insurgents!

    A run-through of those who voluntarily killed themselves shows that a majority died of unmet aspirations, alienation (lacking love), economic brouhaha and the fear of disintegrative shaming. Economic tensions and crises increase the curve of suicide and relocate people into lower position than their previous status forcing them to reduce their requirements, retrain their needs and learn greater self-control. But people can’t take this ‘new imposed identity’ hence suicide. Only a person with revised aspirations values and needs survive social changes in their lives. We cannot continue to live as if we are not in recession; recession is not an evil spirit that we can kill with ‘die-by-fire’ type prayers in our churches. The government must heal the economy and formulate consistent policies that people can plan with. Inconsistent policies kill businesses and frustrate plans. The people need to see hope when their leaders speak and act and not otherwise. Several other social institutions have vital supportive roles to play. For instance, the churches and mosques must change their materialistic preaching to hope-preaching. They must identify the vulnerable, and assist the needy. Put together, these multifarious interventions will make people see their challenges as a passing phase which will make them better in future. If we take care of the social factors causing suicide, there will not be need for us to bother about depression. If there is any time that we need to be our brothers’ keeper, it is now.

     

    • Dr Tade, a sociologist wrote via dotad2003@yahoo.com

     

  • Enyimba 1-0 Rivers United: Mfon nets 7th goal of the season

    Enyimba 1-0 Rivers United: Mfon nets 7th goal of the season

    •Hails important victory

    Mfon Udoh was the hero for Enyimba in the Match-Day-15 of the Nigeria Professional Football League (NPFL) when he netted the winner against Rivers United.

    Enyimba started the game on the front foot as Joseph Osadiaye curled a free kick just over the bar from a tight angle.

    Udoh chased down a pass from Ikechukwu Ibenegbu but could only direct his shot to the side netting. The away side’s best chance fell to Nzube Anaezemba but he failed to beat Afelokhai in goal.

    The Aba Elephants won a penalty when captain, Mfon Udoh was fouled inside the box and got up to score the penalty for his seventh goal of the season to ensure the vital three points.

    “It was a very difficult game I must confess because Rivers United needed a win or at least a draw against us but we were determined and came out with the vital win,” Mfon told SportingLife after the match.

    “We played the game as if it was a Cup final and thankfully we got the important win. Our aim to give the title defence our best shot and at the end of the season, we’ll see how it goes,” he said

  • ‘Kit yourself against wet season illness’

    The wet season is here. As usual, it comes with cold, cough, and catarrh. OYEYEMI GBENGA-MUSTAPHA writes now is the time to stock up on wellness foods, especially those that can boost the immune system.

    The best way to prevent cold and any wet season infection is through natural remedies that boost the immune system, fight of virus, bacteria and fungi, and help the body cleanse toxins.

    According to traditional practitioners, the rainy season is a break from hot temperatures, and with it comes the perpetual sneezing, runny nose fluid, swollen throat, and painful cough, called common cold.

    But did you know that common cold cannot be cured or prevented by antibiotics, because it is caused by a virus? In fact, using antibiotics to treat cold inappropriately can damage the immune system and make one more susceptible to other sicknesses.

    But there are some provisions by Mother Nature, such as teas that come handy during this time of the year. So, also, are strong flavour of foods, such as garlic, ginger, horseradish, onions and cayenne pepper; when they are eaten raw, they do not only boost the body’s immunity but also knock off infections. These can be made into tea as well.

    To Mrs Bolanle Alabede of Pax Herbal Clinic and Research Laboratories, Lagos, teas made from organic fruits, vegetables, herbs, plants or roots do enhance the immune system.

    Mrs Alabede said eating ginger and more garlic this season could be the best thing one could do. She said with its anti-bacterial, anti-fungal and anti-viral properties, it is evident that this immune-boosting herb is nothing to turn the nose up to. And it is suspected that the chemical compound – allicilin in garlic – is the main one inhibiting growth and even killing the germs.

    To enjoy the benefits of this natural remedy, professionals say one can eat one bulb of raw garlic daily. But, don’t be discouraged, even if cooked, it still provides benefits. ‘’Garlic is well known throughout history as a food that fights infections from bacteria and viruses. Allicin is one of the immune-stimulating nutrients in garlic that is released when you cut, chop or crush the cloves. Garlic stimulates the activity of immune system cells that destroy cold and flu viruses,” she explained.

    Another is onion. It contains quercetin, a nutrient that breaks up mucus in your head and chest, boosting the immune system. When the smell of raw onions makes your nose run and your eyes tear up, this stimulates your immune system to fight infection. ”Onions also contain allicin, which slows down and kills various viruses and bacteria. The pungency of onions increases your blood circulation and makes you sweat. This effect is helpful during cold weather to prevent infections and to sweat out a cold or flu. Consuming fresh raw white onion within a few hours of the first symptoms of a cold or flu is when you’ll get the strongest immune effect,” she said.

    She said: “So, also, is ginger. It reduces fevers, soothes sore throats, and encourages coughing to remove mucus from the chest. The chemicals shagaols and gingerols in ginger give it that spicy kick that stimulates blood circulation and opens your sinuses. Improved circulation means that more oxygen is getting to your tissues to help remove toxins and viruses.”

    A phytotherapist, Dr Francis Elegbuo of Franel Food Supplements and Natural Health Clinic, Ijegun, Lagos, said horseradish strengthens the immune system and increases blood flow to parts of it affected by cold and flu infections to remove wastes.

    “This pungent food encourages you to flush out infected fluids through sweat and increased urination. Horseradish is known to stimulate your lungs to cough out mucus from colds and flus while heating up your body. This powerful plant is also an anti-bacteria, which prevents other diseases, such as sinus infections from taking hold while you’re sick. “

    He said: “Cayenne pepper contains the chemical capsicum, a source of vitamin C that aids your immune system in fighting colds and flus. The powerful effect of vitamin C comes from bioflavinoids that help your body produce white blood cells, especially the white blood cells of your lymphatic system that cleanse your cells and tissues of toxins.

    ‘’It is full of beta carotene and antioxidants that support the immune system, helps build healthy mucus membrane tissue that defends against viruses and bacteria. Spicy cayenne peppers raise your body’s temperature to make you sweat, increasing the activity of your immune system. The chemicals that give these hot and spicy foods their kick are also responsible for their immune boosting power. These foods act as antiviral remedies, enhancing your immune system, making it easier for your body to fight viral infections.”

  • A season of Seasonal Affective Disorders (SAD)…2

    THE SERIES SO FAR…The weather is hot and axing the health of many people. Sweating is profuse. Some people may sweat out as much as 10 liters of water every day along with important minerals such as Calcium, Magnesium, Zinc, copper and Manganese. Sodium and Potassium, too, are lost. The body calls for a replacement of the lost items and water through the thirst signal. But many people refill only with water. Many others take sugar-loaded soft drinks. The sugar thickens the blood, aggravating the need for more water to be taken. But not much water is taken, and the electrolyte and mineral losses aggravate. This begins to exhibit symptoms of illnesses which are not given the serious attention that they deserve. A season is a time spot in a cycle of events. The seasons arise and disappear because the positions of the stars and other planetary bodies are constantly changing. They pour energy or radiations upon the earth, which changes the pattern of energy or radiation profiles of the earth. They also cause to emerge from the earth soil those plants as food or herbs, which have absorbed the energy or radiations that would make us withstand the new patterns or constellations. In this season, it is reasonable to imagine that plants, as foods or medicines, which incline to the sun are better de-emphasised in favour of those which incline towards the moon and, so, are called moon plants.

    Some of the health symptoms of not doing so were highlighted in the first part of this series. They include short temper, irritability, nervousness, insomnia, stress, anxiety and depression e.t.c.That part of the series also explored impact of the season on the brain, highlighting the effects of stress on brain function. In particular, the roles played by Cortisol, a stress hormone, unleashing free radicals on the brain is mentioned. So is its role in diminishing the amounts of serotonin and dopamine in the brain. This often causes behavioural changes which, happily, can be remedied with the consumption of foods rich in these brain chemicals or those which support their production…

    OUR tour guide is www.bebrainfit.com. It is advising us of 12 ways in which chronic stress depletes critical brain chemicals and, thereby, cause depression. In the sixth impact of stress on the brain, the website says:

    “Stress puts you at greatest risk for mental illness of all kinds. The root cause of most mental illnesses is not yet understood. If answers are ever found, the causes would most likely be a complex of variety of factors. Recent research has discovered physical differences in the brains of people with stress disorders. Their ratios of the brain’s white matter to gray matter is higher.

    “Stress predisposes you to having a variety of mental illnesses including anxiety and panic disorders, depression, PTSD, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, drug addiction and alcoholism.

    “SEVEN. Stress makes you stupid. Stress can make your brain to seize up at the worst possible times…exams, job interviews, and public speaking come to mind. This is actually a survival mechanism. If you are faced with a life and death situation, instinct and training overwhelm rational thought and reasoning.

    “This might keep you from being eaten by a tiger, but in modern life this is rarely helpful. Stress impairs your memory and makes you bad at making decisions. It negatively impairs every cognition function.

    “EIGHT. Chronic Stress shrinks your brain. Stress can measurably shrink your brain. Cortisol can kill, shrink and stop the generation of new neurons in the Hippocampus, the part of the brain that store memory.

    “The Hippocampus is critical for learning, memory and emotional regulation, as well as hutting off the stress response as soon as the stressful event is over. Stress also shrinks the prefrontal cortex. This negatively affects decision-making, working memory, and control of impulsive behaviour.

    “NINE. Stress lets toxins into your brain. Your brain is highly sensitive to toxins of every kind. The blood-brain barrier is group of highly specialised cells that acts as your brain’s gate-keeper.

    “This semi-permeable filter protects your brain from harmful substances while letting needed nutrients in. Stress makes the blood-brain barrier more permeable, in effect making it leaky.

    “This lets things into the brain you don’t want there such as pathogens, heavy metals, chemicals and other toxins.

    “Having a leaky blood-brain barrier is associated with brain cancer, brain infections, and multiple sclerosis.

    “TEN. Chronic stress increases your risk of dementia and Alzheimer’s. One of the most worrying most effects of stress on the brain is that it increases your risk for dementia and Alzheimer’s. Being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease is the number one health fear of American adults, even more so than cancer.

    Alzheimer’s is now the sixth leading cause of death. One in three U.S. seniors will die with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia. It is the most expensive disease in the country. There is no simple ‘magic bullet’ to preventing Alzheimer’s. Common sense advice includes eating a healthy diet low in sugar and high in brain healthy fats, getting physical exercise, not smoking, staying mentally active, avoiding toxic metal exposure and minimising stress. Its been found that stress, particularly stress that occurs in midlife, increases risk of Alzheimer’s. Anxiety, jealousy, and moodiness in middle age doubles your risk of developing Alzheimer’s. Chronic stress and elevated cortisol contribute to dementia in the elderly and hastens its progression.

    “ELEVEN. Stress causes brain cells to commit suicide. Stress leads to premature ageing on a cellular level, causing cells in both your body and your brain to commit suicide prematurely. To understand how this happens, we need to take a look at a part of your chromosomes called TELOMERES. You may recall from high school biology that when a cell divides, it passes on the genetic material to the next cell via chromosomes. Telomeres are protective end caps on our chromosomes similar to plastic tips on shoe laces. Every time a cell divides, the telomeres get a little shorter. When they reach a critically shortened length, they tell the cell to stop dividing, acting as a built in suicide switch. Subsequently the cell dies. Shortened telomeres lead to atrophy of brain cells and longer telomeres length leads to the production of new brain cells. Telomeres length may be the most important indicator of biological age and disease risk. Some researchers believe its a better predictor of your risk for age-related diseases like Alzheimer’s, heart disease, diabetes, and cancer than conventional diagnostic tools.

    “TWELVE. Chronic stress contributes to brain inflammation and depression. A little known fact is that the brain has its own immune system. Special immune cells called MICROGLIA protect the brain and spinal cord from infections and toxins. Unfortunately, a Microglia cell has no on or off switch, so once it is activated, it creates inflammation until it dies. Chronic stress is one of the factors that increases the risk of activating your microglia, thus producing brain inflammation. It is generally believed that depression is caused by SEROTONIN deficiency, but there is a growing body of evidence that brain inflammation is the root cause of depression instead. This theory is called the “CYTOKINE MODEL OF DEPRESSION.

    “Activated microglia produce cytokines proteins that turn on the inflammation response in the brain. Citoken production is linked to depression, including major depressive disorder and risk of suicide. It is also associated with anxiety, memory loss and inability to concentrate, as well as some serious disorders including schizophrenia, Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. Chronic stress destroys your happiness and peace of mind. It weighs you down mentally and emotionally, and saps the joy from life. Some side effects of stress that impact your mental wellbeing include: excessive worry and fear, anger and frustration, impatience with self and others, mood swings, crying spells or suicidal thought, insomnia, nightmares, disturbing dreams, trouble concentrating and learning new information, racing thoughts, nervousness, forgetfulness, mental confusion, difficult in making decisions, feeling overwhelmed, irritability, and over-reaction to petty annoyances, excessive defensiveness, or suspicion, increased smoking, alchohol, drug use, gambling, or impulse buying.

    “It is no fun experiencing these stress symptoms. It is no picnic for those around you either.

     

    What to do?

    Suddenly, we can now see the havocs of stress in its various forms. We should not be angry with people who exhibit the foregoing symptoms or characteristics, or condemn them outright. For there is none of us who, in the modern runs of life, who is not subject to the hammers of stress and cortisol. Rather than be impatient with them (a sign that we, too, are stressed up, we should show understanding, be accommodating and, lovingly, strive to help them with information, or in other ways that we have the capacity to give help). There is no doubt that the yellow bus conductor in Lagos is a mental illness patient. He and the driver pep up with drugs for their work. A normal person does not wait for a bus to drive off before he runs to board it. A normal person does not alight at every-bus-stop from a moving bus. A normal person does not ride on the expressway on the tail board of a bus driving at about 80 kilometers an hour or more. When I see the rush hour train in Lagos and I see hundreds of people sitting or lying on the roof top of the coaches, I know something must be wrong with both the city and these train passengers. The same goes for a tricycle driver who drives against the traffic on a road used more by trailers. At a psychiatric hospital, you are likely to see many young women who have been jilted in love, but who cannot accept that, in the Love and Grace of the Almighty Creator, it is not just one man who is made to be her husband or friend, that there are many potential candidates, that she only has to open her eyes and heart and make a good choice, that if her choice fails to live up to expectation, there are many more in a crowd of men meant for her to choose from. If Daniel goes, there may be a David standing nearby. These women are rigid people and rigidity is a crime in creation. It predisposes us to stress and, as we have seen, stress destroys our health and person.

    The website www.bebrainfit.com advises us of five ways in which we can avoid or overcome stress. It says:

    “We wouldn’t leave you with all this bad news with no solutions. Minimising stress and protecting your brain against its effect is easier than you might think. Here are five simple tips to stop stress in its tracks and overcome its harmful effects on your brain.

    “ONE: Stop free radical damage by eating a diet high in antioxidant rich foods like fruits, vegetables, dark chocolate and green tea.

    “TWO: Increase levels of brain-boosting BDNF by getting daily physical exercise. It doesn’t have to be strenuous. Walking is excellent. So are exercises with strong mind-body orientations like yogataichi and gigong.

    “THREE: Start a daily meditation practice. Meditation not only reduces stress,  it’s a proven way to keep your brain young by keeping telomeres long. Meditation is also the best tool for learning how to master your thoughts. Stress does not come from events in your life as much as it comes from your thoughts-your automatic negative reactions and cognitive distortions-about these events.

    “FOUR: Try one of the many mind-body relaxation techniques such as biofeedback or autogenic training.

    “FIVE: Look into taking an adaptogenic herbal remedy. Adaptogens increase your resilience to stress while supporting overall health. They promote balance between feeling energetic and feeling calm. Examples of adaptogens include ginseng, holy basil, Arctic root and bacopa.

    Chronic stress may seem to be an unavoidable part of life, but these proactive steps will definitely reduce its wear and tear on your brain.

    Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)/STRESS, Anxiety, Depression (SAD)

    As it has been shown so far, this season has the potential to cause damage on the brain and inflict ailments on the body. I was happy when one psychiatric nurse called me on the phone last week after a television interview on T&T Virgin NONI Juice and recognised that it was good for psychiatric patients because it helps to stimulate the production, in the brain, of Serotonin, Melatonin and Dopamine. These are brain chemicals which stabilise the brain, enhance good mood and behaviour and promote sleep. When we see the link between Seasonal Affective Disorders (SAD) on one side of the psychiatric equation, and link them to Stress, Anxiety and Depression (SAD), on the other side of the equation, we should appreciate natural substances which stabilise the brain and mind and prevent or reverse SAD troubles. Next week, I will present additional information on the capacity of LION’S MANE MUSHROOM, for example, to support not only the production of Serotonin, Melatonin and Dopamine, but to actually back up the regeneration of damage nerve cells throughout the body, in particular in psychotic patients and people who use recreational substances to pep up ebbing physical energy.

    We are advised by an authority in this field:

    “Our nervous system is made of numerous nerve cells or neurons…myelin is necessary for the proper functioning of the nervous system. Adequate myelination of the nerves ensures that our brain function and cognitive function are maintained normally. Almost all the neuro-degenerative diseases are associated with a loss of myelin sheath…These degenerative diseases lead to many symptoms which are specific to each disease. They can range from cognitive impairment, memory loss to paralysis of the body, paralysis of the respiratory muscles and death…The extract of Lion’s Mane Mushroom have also shown to induce the synthesis of NGF or Nerve Growth Factor in the nerve cells. NGF is absolutely essential for the maintenance of the Cholinergic nerve system of the forebrain. NGF is also needed for the development of neurite bearing nerve cells that transmit signals or impulses across the nerve system.NGF is a type of neurotrophic factors. Neurotrophic factors promotes the functioning of nervous system.”

    For brain health and power, we can add to Lion’s Mane Mushroom the following: Grape Seed Extract (an antioxidant and antimicrobial which easily crosses the blood-brain barrier), Omega-3 fatty acids (DHA, which is anti-inflammatory), Gingko biloba, which promotes blood circulation to the brain and micro circulation in the brain, Lecithin (for Choline and Inositol), a fatty substance plentiful in the brain, Alpha lipoic acid (ALA, a powerful antioxidant active in fluid and fat media), antioxidant Vitamins such as vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin E, antioxidant minerals such as Selenium, manganese and zinc and proprietary food supplements such as Amazing Brain Support or Mood Support or Behaviour Balance. We should remember also, the need to oxygenate and energies the brain. Oxygenation can be done with greens such as Chlorella, Spirulina or Kale or Oxygen tablet or any other Oxygen formula. For energy, I have seen grate wonders performed in the brain and in the body with Ubiquinol 300mg which comes with vitamin C, vitamin E, and Black pepper.

  • NPFL 2016/17 SEASON: Enyimba to play home matches in Calabar

    NPFL 2016/17 SEASON: Enyimba to play home matches in Calabar

    • The People’s Elephant  have no problem facing Sunshine in season opener

    Enyimba have chosen to play their home matches for the next league season at the UJ Esuene Stadium, Calabar as their permanent home as the Enyimba International Stadium, Aba is still undergoing repairs and won’t be ready for the start of the season.

    The Chairman of the People’s Elephant, Felix Anyansi Agwu who revealed this to SportingLife on Saturday  during the NPFL 2016/17 season draws held at the Golden Royale Hotel, Enugu, said they will feel more at home in Calabar than any other alternative available to them.

    He said they would like to play where it is devoid of competition and where they will be fully concentrated on the game and not other distracting things.

    Anyansi Agwu pointed out that there was nothing special in being drawn to face Sunshine Stars in the season’s opener and that they would prepare for the Owena Whales the same way they will do to other clubs they will trade tackles with after the Akure Gunners.

  • FCMB ends season three promo, names winners

    FCMB ends season three promo, names winners

    First City Monument Bank (FCMB) Limited yesterday ended the ‘’FCMB Millionaire Promo Season 3’’ after eight months of rewarding customers.

    The exercise which ended with the grand finale draws held across Nigeria was witnessed by officials of the National Lottery Regulatory Commission, Consumer Protection Council (CPC), customers of the bank and other dignitaries.

    Four customers of the bank won N2 million each at the electronic draws held in Abuja, Lagos, Ibadan (Oyo state) and Calabar (Cross River state). There were also cash gifts while 642 account holders won LED televisions, generating sets, decoders, tablets, smart phones and other consolation prizes at the zonal draws.

    The reward of N2 million each went to Ibrahim Fatai (Lagos); Abuja & North), Okolo Obiekwe; (South-East/South- South), Chief Amobi Egbe and Mrs. Omolafe Monica (South-west).

    Mrs. Omolafe, expressed gratitude to FCMB for being a true partner in progress. She said: “I am grateful to God and FCMB for this big surprise. The bank should continue with the great things it has been doing’’.

    CPC’s Zonal Co-ordinator, South-west 2, Garba Ahmad, praised the bank for conducting the exercise with integrity. He said: “FCMB followed due process from the beginning of the promo till the emergence of the various winners”.

    FCMB’s Divisional Head, Retail Banking, Olu Akanmu, said that with the grand finale of the draws held nationwide, the Bank has fulfilled the promise it made to customers to reward those who participated and qualified in the promo and the four draws organised during the exercise.

  • Again, season of goodwill

    Again, season of goodwill

    I begin with an apology. The last instalment of this column was not meant to slight anybody, not the least those worthy compatriots of ours who deserve to enjoy the warmth and felicitations that this season offers. No.

    Some readers protested that some names of prominent Nigerians were missing from my mailing list. They may have felt neglected, they reasoned. Others were kind enough to suggest who should get what. Again, I apologise.

    President Muhammadu Buhari was listed – to the delight of many. But, to some distinguished readers, if the President deserves to be on the list, why not the First Lady –sorry, I take that back- the wife of the President? Aren’t they right? No gift will be too much for Hajia Aisha Buhari, vivacious, affable and radiant.

    A friend has suggested a compilation of my former boss’ series, “Anxiety in the other room”. But the problem is that Mr Femi Kusa, the frontline journalist-turned-herbalist, is yet to conclude the series even after five instalments in this newspaper.

    I have a less complex idea. Madam will get a copy of a poem a potential  literary champion is working on. It will be framed in fine, well polished and glossy mahogany. The fellow, who wishes to remain anonymous until the work is completed, offered me a rare glimpse into the first few lines, which he has permitted me to share with you.

                 Take me to the other room

                 Where there is no sorrow

                 The other room where all pains dissolve                                                

                  into joyous cries

                 The other room where men become babies

                 The other room where all proposals are                                 

                 signed and sealed

                 Oh no room like the other room  

    Another reader made a case for former First Lady Patience Jonathan, who he said had gone through a lot since her husband left office. The other day in Enugu, some youths carried placards, protesting against the seizure of Mrs Jonathan’s $15m in some bank accounts opened in the names of some companies. Others joined the protest yesterday in Lagos and Abuja. To be fair to the former First Lady, she complained to her husband’s ex-aide who facilitated the opening of the accounts that the documents were not in her name. He promised to change that. Apparently, he never did, even as Her Excellency continued to run the accounts.

    Many, including the youthful protesters, have praised “Mama Peace” for coming up to claim the cash, which the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) described as “proceeds of crime”, even after she had let everyone into what was otherwise a family secret – that the fortune belongs to her mother. But, some idle fellows parading themselves as social critics and analysts have been asking  exasperating questions, obviously in their dubious plan to enrage her: “How did she get the money? Was it from her ice cream shop? Kickback? “

    It is fitting and proper to remark that despite the provocation, Mrs Jonathan remains firm. From me, Her Excellency will get a lorry-load of T-shirts with the inscription: MY MONEY GROWS LIKE GRASS. Those youths protesting for her will at least have a uniform for better identification so that their gathering will not be penetrated by touts and other criminal elements.

    Going by the readers’ protest, Rivers State Governor Nyesom Wike, a chief, deserves to be listed even ahead of his Kaduna counterpart, the impulsive Nasir El-Rufai, the one who claims to have  been fighting for peace even as his political opponents cry out that he is a clear and present danger to peace.

    Wike’s opponents have accused him of uncountable allegations, some of them  criminal. Deriding his hard-won electoral victory, they alleged that he rode into office on a road awash with blood and strewn with smashed heads and limbs. They said the governor was borrowing money recklessly, but it is to His Excellency’s credit that nobody has claimed that he is inconsistent.

    On his inauguration, he vowed to protect the rights of Rivers people. Needless to say, the governor has done this with remarkable agility. He once rushed out of bed, braved the night and all its dangerous oddities to save a judge whose home was being  invaded by Department of State Services (DSS) operatives. His critics, obviously those who may have forgotten that he is a lawyer, said he was obstructing justice. Do they know the law more than the governor?

    Wike has vowed that his Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) will win Saturday’s by-election. He once advised that the officials coming to conduct the last Assembly polls should write their Wills. Thankfully, no official died in the elections, which the PDP won.

    Now the governor says security agents plan to help him make history by making him the first governor to get killed in office. The opposition All Progressives Congress (APC) says His Excellency is merely raising hell to cover up a massive plan to rig the ballot. Before the dust raised by the allegation could settle, the governor launched another, saying his security aides had been withdrawn. The police denied it.

    I have ordered a big family-size piano, which will be mounted in His Excellency’s living room. A young man well grounded in classical music can always sit down to work the keyboard for the governor’s favourite hymns whenever he seems to be in a foul mood. The Bible (David playing for Saul) days again? Why not? Doesn’t the world know that His Excellency is a believer? A cheeky fellow once remarked that Wike holds the enviable record of a governor whose head has been touched by all the Pentecostal giants in the land. I won’t confirm that because I don’t have the figures.

    A reader suggested a gift for Ekiti State strongman Ayo Fayose. This being a family paper, I will not go into the details, which are full of seditious propositions. You may call him a stunts man of the Ballotelian class and a hell raiser of the Wikerian school, but you can’t accuse Fayose of docility. No.

    When His Excellency stormed the Assembly last year to table the budget, he came with his own gavel. After a short speech, in which his opponents said he was rambling, Fayose turned to the gallery, which was jammed by visitors, and asked: “Those who want this budget passed speedily say ‘yeah’”. The lawmakers kept quiet, but the gallery erupted in a shout of ‘yeah!’. “Those who doesn’t (sic) want this budget passed speedily, say ‘yeah’”. All was quiet.  “The ayes have it,” the governor said, turning to an aide who gave him the gavel. He then banged the table and said: “Mr Speaker, I hereby present the budget.” Applause. Applause.

    On Tuesday, Fayose returned to the House to submit next year’s budget. He was decked out in a black vest, a pair of military fatigue (camouflage) trousers and a fez cap of the same material. Tall and trim, His Excellency was, of course, the cynosure of all eyes. His appearance brought back memories of the great Fidel Castro, the Cuban legend who has just passed on. Only the thick, dark cigar was missing.

    He explained his dressing to his bewildered audience, who apparently thought Fayose had emptied his bag of stunts, saying: “We are in serious wartime in Nigeria. We are at war in Nigeria.”

    Perhaps for modesty, His Excellency did not bring a gavel, but he stressed that the Speaker is his representative. “I’m the Speaker. He is the Acting Speaker. Therefore, if I say this budget will be passed by me, it will be passed,” Fayose said.

    I have ordered for His Excellency some cartons of the best Cuban cigar – to complete this new dressing. He need not smoke it – I understand he doesn’t smoke. He can just chew the stuff.

    Also missing on the maiden mailing list is the indefatigable defender of party discipline, rule of law and loyalty, Ali Modu Sheriff, the former Borno State Governor, who is in the thick of the crisis that has hobbled the PDP.

    Some party chiefs are now ruing the day they drafted Sheriff in as acting chairman. When they asked him to step aside for a Caretaker Committee headed by Senator Ahmed Makarfi, the former Kaduna Governor, Sheriff went to court.  Thus began an internecine war that has cost the opposition party so much.

    His opponents accuse him of being an accessory to the rise of Boko Haram, the terrorist sect troubling the Northeast, urging security agents to take him in. Sheriff denies it all and vows to pursue justice for his faction of the party. I planned to send His Excellency a book on leadership, but a colleague of mine doubted if he would appreciate that. He asked me: “Does he read? Have you forgotten how he boasted while in government that only a negligible percentage of his people was reading?”

    I wasn’t really persuaded, but to be cautious, I changed my mind. Now His Excellency will get 100 cartons of the best brand of spray starch for his big babariga  to remain crisp and smooth as he shuttles from one court to the other in search of justice.

    Now a little family secret. “Editorial Notebook”, you must have noted, never talks about this reporter so as not to be accused of abuse of privilege. My wife has also demanded, as a matter of conjugal right and privilege, to be on the mailing list. She even suggested some “romantic” gifts, which a poor reporter can hardly handle in these days of recession.

    After a long rumination over this sensitive issue, I have decided to give her my Automated Teller Machine (ATM) card for just 24 hours.

    Again, the mailing list remains open. After all, we are still in the season of goodwill. Compliments!

  • A season of Seasonal Affective Disorders (SAD)…1

    The weather is changing in Nigeria, from the cool or cold of the rainfall months to the searing heat of the interlude days between the rains and the harmattan season in December or January. Already, these seasonal changes are ushering a season of Seasonal Affective Disorders (SAD). In the SAD season, the behaviour and health of many people change negatively, mildy or adversely. Many people are aware that mental illnesses relapse in certain seasons or that bone fractures or ulcers that had healed long ago have a way in certain seasons of reminding people who once experienced them of these conditions. But people tend to notice SAD in people other than themseleves, whereas almost everyone exhibits one form of mood or health discomfeiture one season of SAD after another.

    Thomas Osuji Ozodi made my day when I thought of this subject two weeks ago for this column. And that’s why I recommend his article in www.nigerianvillagesquare.com for anyone who is interested in this matter.

    November has given way to December, 2016. The weather is hot, everyone is sweating hard and many cannot sleep easily or think straight unless they are priviledged to live and work in air conditioned settings and drive or ride in airconditioned vehicles. Back home from a hard day’s work in the office and a tortous traffic, one naturally wishes to have a sumptous dinner, have a good bath (warm or cold) and then, enjoy a beautiful night rest in sleep, to revive tired blood and muscles for another day’s task. But, back home, there is no electricity to run the airconditioner or pump water into the storage tank for bathing. Everywhere is hot. Everyone is pulling off the top dresses. The sweating persists in the evening and at night as it did all day hours. Many men are afraid they have a prostate challenge or the other because they are making less urine, and this urine may be heavily coloured and smelly. Even women, too, notice this. Some people experience foamy urine, which may be caused by infection or protein presence (proteinuria). Proteinuria may be a sign of kidney problem. This kidney problem may come from insufficiency of fluid in the kidney, a feature of this season, or some other far more serious cause(s). People who make less urine at this time may panic until they are advised that, in hot weather, the body tries to lose excess heat by inducing sweating. Sweating takes away otherwise inimical excess heat. The water lost reduces the amount of water the kidneys would normally excrete, thereby reducing the quantum of urine made and voided. But as the kidneys are water organs, they need more water than is available to them in this season to thoroughly flush out toxins and germs. Such an inadequacy may express in the heavy colour of the urine and other urinary markers. Lost in the sweat are also mineral salts and vitamins. Sodium tops the list of substances lost in sweating which should be replaced. According to https://en.m.Wikipedia. org:

    “The composition of sweat is about…

    • Sodium… (0.9 grams/liter) •Potassium (0.2g/l) •Calcium (0.015g/l) •Magnesium (0.0013g/l) •Zinc (0.4mg/l) •Copper (0.3-0.8mg/l) •Iron (1mg/l) •Chromium (0.1mg/l) •Nickel (0.05mg/l) •Lead (0.05mg/l)

    When perspiration is much, as in this season, the body naturally calls, through the thirst signal for a re-stocking of items lost from its stores. And that is why the water industry makes a lot of money at this time. Unknown to many people who buy sachet or bottle (table) water to re-stock, either in buses, in offices, at home or on the dinning table, they probably lost about two to four litres of water per hour or about 10 to 14 litres per day. This suggests that we may have to gulp water like horses to maintain the balance. Much as we may gulp, however, we may never be able to achieve this balance, which means something is giving way each time we sweat and try to restock lost water and minerals. To worsen matters, many people redress the imbalance by drinking either sugar-stuffed so-called “soft drinks” or low sugar drinks which are worse for health because of the Aspartame replacement for sugar. Sugar in the blood worsens the need for water and increases the problems post by losses of minerals and electrolytes in the body. These problems lead to an unbalanced system, especially in the brain. And that is why many people may behave like unbalanced people, irrational, weak, agitated or aggressive, short tempered, inefficient and heat compulsively among other features of this malaise. What is ideal to restock with are minerals rich greens especially those “moon” fruits and vegetables provided by Mother Nature.

     

    Sun and moon

    It was from Millie Uyldert’s THE PSYCHIC GARDEN that I first learned about “sun” and “moon” plants. The sun is fiery, charging us up, but the moon is cool, calming our nerves. This idea has a familiar ring with the Chinese “ying” and “yang”. So, in this hot season, what we are being advised is that we go more for “moon” plants and herbs to maintain a balance with the scorching sun. Says Millie Uyldert:

    “…all water-rich plants are true children of the moon, such as the cucumber, pumpkin, melon and those living in and on the water such as the water-lily, Brandy-bottle, etc. And on the bank such as the Willow. And the plants with half-moon-shaped leaves or oval leaves-composed of two half-moons. Like a person, a plant never, of course, belongs to one heavenly body or sign alone; they are named after the sign or star which clearly predominates in form and habit. In man, moon plants promote the creation of flow of fluids, such as the operation of glands, menstruation, the excretion of urine and sweating.  That is why cucumber juice is good for promoting better circulation during a woman’s menopause. Climbing moon-plants twist to the left (yin) and can be recognised by that (e.g., Thunbergia alata). Those that turn to the right are of the sun (e.g., hops). In man, moon plants can be used for ailments (e.g., chickweed against convulsions), for the memory (cashew nut, as curved as the horned moon) and for children at school. Climbing papilionaceae can be a great tonic to the nervous system and, as a food crop, extremely nutritious (beans). Vetches can be used against in fantile paralysis and, NUX Vomica to strengthen the nerves.”

     

    Water, Water, Water

    Water isn’t all that we need when we feel like replacing the fluid we lost to sweating or perspiration.  We need to replace Sodium and Potassium,  Calcium and Magnesium,  Zinc and Copper, among other substances. If we do not, deficiencies may occur which may predispose us to particular problems in this SAD season.

     

    Sodium

    Listen to this from www.nutristrategy.com

    “The body needs a small amount of sodium to help maintain normal blood pressure and normal function of muscles and nerves.”

     

    Potassium

    “Potassium is a very important mineral”, says www.umm.edu/health/medical, “for the proper functioning of all cells, tissues, and organs in the human body. It is also an electrolyte, a substance that conducts electricity in the body along with Sodium, Chloride, Calcium and Magnesium. Potassium is crucial to heart function and plays a key role in skeletal and smooth muscle contraction, making it important for normal digestive and muscular function.  Many foods contain potassium, including all meats and some types of fish, (such as Salmon, cod), and Flounder, and many fruits, vegetables and legumes.

    Having too much potassium in the blood is known as Hyperkalemia; having too little is known as hypokalemia. Keeping the right potassium balance in the body depends on the amounts of sodium and magnesium in the blood. Too much sodium, common in Western diet, that use a lot of salt, may increase the need for Potassium. Diarrhoea, vomiting, excessive sweating, malnutrition, malabsorbtion syndromes such as Crohn’s disease, can also cause Potassium deficiency. Use of a kind of heart medicine called Loop diuretics can also cause you to be short on potassium. Most people get all of the potassium they need from a healthy diet rich in vegetables and fruits. Older people have a greater risk of hyperkalemia because their kidneys are less efficient at eliminating potassium as they age.

     

    What to do

    As stated earlier, many people are gulping only water to overcome their thirst this SAD season, and this may be the cause of the symptoms of many cases of mental illnesses one finds around these days. Many people who go to work, earn good income, settle their bills and appear normal in one way or the other may be mentally ill without knowing it. I believe some degree of mental illness was exhibited in Lagos about three weeks ago by those men who beat a seven-year old boy to pulp and then threw a car tyre over him which they set ablaze to kill him in a bonfire! What was his crime? He stole cassava grains (gari) worth not more than #100 in the market stall. Same people would know this boy was hungry. Same people would liken him to their own child. Same people will pay for the gari if the owner does not let go. Same people may even hand him over to the police to be taken to a borstral, a reformatory (home) for Juvenile people. Same people would not jubilate, as shown in the video of this gory event, as this boy was burning in agony. Same people would remember they, too, have committed far grievous “sins” for which it has not pleased the Ruler of All the Worlds to brutally take their lives!

    As mental illness may begin with deficiencies of substances which balance the biochemistry of our bodies, particularly in the brain, what Mother Nature expects of us at this time is the consumption of those foods, vegetables and herbs which restock our bodies with lost items, not just water or, worst still, with sugar drinks. We get lots of sodium, potassium,  calcium,  magnesium, zinc, copper and iron and many  more from fruits such as Orange, Carrot, water melon, Golden melon, Banana, Plantain, Pineapple,  Pawpaw, Cucumber etc, all of which are in season now. We can get lots of them also from our familiar greens…Spirulina, Wheatgrass,  Chlorella,  Liquid chlorophyll and Kale. As a breakfast starter on some mornings these days, I take half a teaspoonful of Blackstrap molasses in a glass of water to which I add half a teaspoonful of any of these greens. It gives me the confidence that I have, for that morning in my diet, good amounts of the B vitamins, some sugar for energy and Potassium, Sodium, Calcium, Magnesium, Iron, other minerals and all amino acids. To the bargain I add 1 capsule of Strese B with Zinc which provides additional B vitamins and 25mg of Zinc.

     

    Brain and other disorders

    Listening to psychiatric doctors, one learns that it isn’t everyone who pulls off his or her dress in public, crosses a major highway without caution or lies in a drain, mistaking it for a bed, or picking food from a refuse dump who has a mental disorder.  Many of us seemingly brain-healthy people do when over stressed,  for example, exhibiting unnecessary anger or eating or drinking compulsively or when we are over excited over nothing tangible.

    When water and minerals are lost and are not well replaced,  the body comes under stress sooner than later.

    As the website http://bebrainfit.com/effects-chronicstress-brain tells us:

    “…when stress becomes chronic, it changes your brain’s function and even its structure down to the level of your DNA.

    “Epinephrine (also known as adrenaline) and norepinephrine are stress hormones produced on as needed basis in moments of extreme excitement.  They help you move fast and think in an emergency. In the right situation, they can save your life. They don’t linger in the body, disipating as quickly as they were created. Cortisol, on the other hand, streams through your system all day long, and that’s what makes it so dangerous.

    “This hormone has been called public enemy number one. Excess cortisol leads to a host of health problems, including weight gain, osteoporosis,  digestive problems, hormone imbalances, cancer, heart disease and diabetes.  Chronic stress takes a toll in adrenal gland. It can leave you feeling exhausted and tired. Weight gain, poor sleep, mood swings, short attention span, and memory issues are common signs of stress due to elevated cortisol.

    “While stress and cortisol take a toll on your body, they take an equally high toll on your brain. Some of these brain-related stress symptoms would be obvious to you, like memory problems, anxiety and worry. But most of these effects of stress on your brain are “behind the scenes”. You don’t notice they are happening but you would notice the side effects eventually.”

    The website mentions twelve ways in which it says “chronic stress affects your brain health and mental well being”. It lists them as follows…

    “ONE: Stress creates free radicals that kill brain cells. Cortisol creates a surplus of the neurotransmitter Glutamate. Glutamate creates free radicals-unattached oxygen molecules-that attack brain cells much in the same way that oxygen attacks metal, causing it to rust. Free radicals actually punch holes in the brain cell walls, causing them to rupture and die.

    “Stress also indirectly contributes to other lifestyle habits that create more free radicals. If stress causes you to lose sleep, eat junk food, drink too much alcohol or smoke cigarette to relax, these are contributing to your free radical load.

    “TWO: Chronic stress makes you forgetful and emotional. Memory problems may be one of the first signs of stress you will notice. Misplaced keys and forgotten appointments have you scrambling further adding to your stress. If you find all this stress is making you more emotional too, there is a physiological reason for this. Studies show that when you are stressed, electrical signal in the brain associated with factual memories weaken while areas in the brain associated with emotions strengthen.

    “THREE: stress creates a vicious cycle of fear and anxiety. Stress builds up an area of your brain called the AMYGDALA. This is your brain’s fear centre. Stress increases the size, activity level and number of neural connections in this part of your brain. This makes you more fearful, causing a vicious cycle of even more fear and stress.

    “FOUR: Stress halts the production of new brain cells. Everyday you lose brain cells, but everyday you have the opportunity to create new ones.

    ‘Brain-derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF) is a protein that is integral in keeping existing brain cells healthy and stimulating new brain cell formation. It can be thought of as fertilizer for the brain BDNF can offset the negative effects of stress on the brain. But cortisol halts the production of BDNF resulting in fewer new brain cells being formed. Lowered level of BDNF are associated with brain-related conditions including depression, OCD, Schizophrenia, dementia, and Alzheimer’s disease.

    “FIVE: Stress depletes critical brain chemicals, causing depression. Your brain cells communicate via chemicals called Neurotransmitters. Chronic stress reduces levels of critical neurotransmitters, especially SEROTONIN,  and DOPAMINE. Low levels of these neurotransmitters can leave you depressed and more prone to addictions. Serotonin is called “HAPPY MOLECULE”. It plays a large role in mood, learning, appetite control and  sleep. Women low in Serotonin are prone to depression,  anxiety and binge eating. Men, on the other hand, are more prone to alcoholism, ADHD and impulse-control disorders. Dopamine is the “motivation molecule”. It’s in charge of your pleasure reward system. Too little dopamine can leave you unfocused,  unmotivated, lethargic, and depressed. People low in this brain chemical often use caffeine, sugar, alcohol and illicit drugs to temporarily boost their dopamine levels. Serotonin-based depression is accompanied by anxiety and irritability while dopamine-based depression expresses itself as lethargy and lack of enjoyment of life.

  • Another season of goodwill

    Another season of goodwill

    Is santa coming this way soon? I really can’t bet on that. The recession has sparked hunger and anger. Shut factories and cracked roads that guzzle blood everyday. An electricity crisis that has sent the cost of running businesses flying out of reach.  Job cuts and foreign exchange trouble. High cost of drugs that keeps patients depressed. The mood is unusual. Dull and drab. Oh, what a season.

    How will Santa Claus cope with tearful kids struggling to tug at his snow-white beards?  Who will console the elderly in this otherwise season of goodwill?

    Resilient as ever, Nigerians have been struggling to put up a bold face against the recessional depression. They are taking it all on the chin. Some homes have set up Christmas trees with lights that wink all-night.

    Despite the tyranny of these times, I have embarked on my yearly ritual of drawing up a mailing list of those prominent Nigerians who deserve to get gifts from me. I have been scouring the web for great gifts.

    Who tops my mailing list? And there is no price for guessing right, dear reader. Being a firm believer in protocol, I won’t skip President Muhammadu Buhari for  other prominent but less powerful Nigerians. No.

    With just about 16 months into his administration, the President seems to have touched the nerves of some Nigerians who have been asking: “Is this the change we voted for?” “Na change we go chop?”They point at rising prices of food and services. Some, apparently in frustration, have even suggested that “corruption should return”, as they draw up comparisons with the Dr Goodluck Jonathan era when they got crumbs that fell from the tables of government officials and their friends who were living like kings and partying like Hollywood stars.

    Buhari, of course, denounced that cosmetic era. The veneer of prosperity was all vestige of a golden era that no longer exists. He went after corrupt individuals who ganged up to rape the treasury on a scale beyond imagination, even by our weird standards. There have been revelations of people collecting a fortune for contracts that were never executed.

    Now there seems to be some order, but the government is stuck in the mud of a poor economy, fuelled by low oil prices and worsened by the new wave of militancy in the Niger Delta. Many states can’t pay their workers. Nigerians’ faith in the country is under attack. Pro-Biafra agitators have added to the dicey security situation. Boko Haram, sequestered in Sambisa forest from where it launches  devastating  occasional attacks, seems to be playing the snake with a slashed tail – vicious.

    The only thing that has not been questioned is Buhari’s integrity. It is not too late for the government to set its hand to the plough, be creative, pull us out of this recession and set rolling the good times he promised.

    Our situation is not new. Nor is it peculiar. For the President, I have ordered a copy of Roger Matuz’s “The presidents fact book”. It is a compilation of “the achievements, campaigns, events, triumphs, tragedies, and legacies of every American president from George Washington to Barack Obama”. He will surely find it a great resource material from which he can draw inspiration to tackle the problems we face.

    As I pulled the book off the shelf, the bookshop manager, a cheeky fellow who is obviously struck by a strange type of childish exuberance, asked me: “Who are you ordering this for? Do they read?” Not being one to be found among people of unconscionable conduct posing as “radicals”, I quickly summoned my legs for a dash outside the shop.

    Just when we thought the noisy controversy generated by his scurrilous trilogy, “My Watch”, in which he portrayed everybody as unworthy in character, we thought former President Olusegun Obasanjo had hit the peak of his egocentric tendencies. How wrong we were.

    Obasanjo, without provocation, last week, suddenly lashed out at Buhari, asking him to stop whining and face the economy. He called the National Assembly a den of unarmed robbers who should get the kind of treatment to which the judiciary has been subjected in a desperate bid to rid the institution of corruption. He was harsh and brash, taking no prisoner.

    The lawmakers, of course, defended their integrity. They described Obasanjo as the grandfather of corruption and accused him of plotting against Buhari. The former President has since held his fire. A colleague remarked that he must have had memories of his days in the Abacha gulag flooding back to him.

    For Obasanjo, I have ordered a copy of “The life plan study Bible”, edited by John Hagoe. He should pay attention to Luke 6:42, Psalms 10:4 and Proverbs 8:13.

    It is fine that Dr Goodluck Jonathan has shaken off the moroseness that comes with a major calamity, such as losing the presidency. He has since hit the lecture circuit, turning it all into a great advantage. He is now an apostle of good governance, leadership and democracy. The halls, I am told, are throbbing with people.

    But Jonathan still owes the world the story of his presidency. Besides a pack of the highly rated multivitamin Pharmaton, I plan to mail His Excellency a copy of  Judith Barrington’s “Writing the memoir”.  A president caged in a demonic villa will surely have a lot to tell.

    Poor Kemi Adeosun. The more the Finance minister tries to explain the government’s handling of the economy, the more furious her critics get. The other day she said about N750b had been pumped into the economy to tackle the crippling recession. From many angles came a flood of questions : “Where is the money? Who got it? How was it spent?” Some have even questioned Mrs Adeosun’s competence.

    I hope the woman still finds time to sleep. From me she will get a brand new M2 Basic Automatic Blood Pressure Monitor, the OMRON brand. She needs it, no doubt.

    Former police chief Solomon Arase has opened his law office. Those who expected him to open a car shop after his predecessor Ibrahim Idris accused him of leaving office with 48 exotic vehicles must have been disappointed. Arase advised Idris to stop crying over cars and face his tough job. From me, Idris is getting a list of companies willing to donate cars to the police, but they have put a caveat-  kidnappers and robbers must be reined in.

    Senator Dino Melaye has made the list again. He remains as pugnacious as ever after being vaulted from street activism – rent-a-crowd, as some would insist – to the Senate. Hyperactive and easily excited like an over pampered kindergarten undergraduate , Melaye seizes the floor to make wild allegations and disturb the peace of the chamber with his inanities. By now, the distinguished senator must have run out of “Kalms”, the herbal medication that aids sleep at night and clear, calm and reflective reasoning during the day. That was what I mailed him last year. He gets a full pack – in the spirit of this season of goodwill.

    Chief Tony Anenih has quit partisan politics after presenting his memoirs, which have enjoyed good mention in the media. He no longer wishes to be called and addressed as “Mr Fix it”, the sobriquet he earned by what many thought was his rare ability to turn things around during elections. His critics – as well as his admirers – ascribe to him either rightly or wrongly the unusual skill of turning  a loser into a winner and vice versa. For this quality, he was loathed by some, respected by many and feared by all.

    Many believe that with his Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) losing the 2015 election after threatening to rule Nigeria for 60 years non-stop and former Governor Adams Oshiomhole troubling him at home with his vociferous campaign against godfathers, it was time the chief quit politics.

    From me, the Iyasele of Esanland will get a massaging machine and a year’s supply of the refreshing drink “Lucozade” to keep him as active as ever, even in retirement. Who knows, the old man may some day be pressured to lend a hand in saving the troubled party.

    Even before fate thrust onto his laps the governorship of Kaduna State, Nasir El-Rufai was a cantankerous fellow. Temperamental, conceited and overrated, El-Rufai has been jumping from one battle to another since he mounted the saddle as governor. He ordered beggars off the street in a manner that infuriated the poor. He forged a division within the local All Progressives Congress (APC), fighting Senator Shehu Sani. Communal clashes are common. The Shiites, whose leader has been in detention for months, he has accused of planning an Iranian type of revolution in Nigeria, just to justify the hammering of the sect that lost many of its members in a bloody encounter with soldiers.

    There are rumours that El-Rufai was a major influence in the internecine feud that saw the APC going into the Ondo State governorship election a divided team. He is said to have his eyes on being president in 2019, a claim he has refused to admit or dismiss.

    Whatever his critics may say about him and his fairy tale rise to stardom, El-Rufai has been lucky; his past has refused to haunt him, unlike many of his former colleagues who are either answering questions on what they did while in office or hustling contract papers in Abuja.

    I have ordered for His Excellency a copy of the Holy Quran. He should pay attention to  Quran 7:146 and Quran 16:23.

    My mailing list remains open to accommodate any omission that may have occurred.  Feel free to contact me should you notice that any of our deserving compatriots has been left out of this list.

    Compliments of the season.

  • Another season of goodwill

    Another season of goodwill

    Is santa coming this way soon? I really can’t bet on that. The recession has sparked hunger and anger. Shut factories and cracked roads that guzzle blood everyday. An electricity crisis that has sent the cost of running businesses flying out of reach.  Job cuts and foreign exchange trouble. High cost of drugs that keeps patients depressed. The mood is unusual. Dull and drab. Oh, what a season.

    How will Santa Claus cope with tearful kids struggling to tug at his snow-white beards?  Who will console the elderly in this otherwise season of goodwill?

    Resilient as ever, Nigerians have been struggling to put up a bold face against the recessional depression. They are taking it all on the chin. Some homes have set up Christmas trees with lights that wink all-night.

    Despite the tyranny of these times, I have embarked on my yearly ritual of drawing up a mailing list of those prominent Nigerians who deserve to get gifts from me. I have been scouring the web for great gifts.

    Who tops my mailing list? And there is no price for guessing right, dear reader. Being a firm believer in protocol, I won’t skip President Muhammadu Buhari for  other prominent but less powerful Nigerians. No.

    With just about 16 months into his administration, the President seems to have touched the nerves of some Nigerians who have been asking: “Is this the change we voted for?” “Na change we go chop?”They point at rising prices of food and services. Some, apparently in frustration, have even suggested that “corruption should return”, as they draw up comparisons with the Dr Goodluck Jonathan era when they got crumbs that fell from the tables of government officials and their friends who were living like kings and partying like Hollywood stars.

    Buhari, of course, denounced that cosmetic era. The veneer of prosperity was all vestige of a golden era that no longer exists. He went after corrupt individuals who ganged up to rape the treasury on a scale beyond imagination, even by our weird standards. There have been revelations of people collecting a fortune for contracts that were never executed.

    Now there seems to be some order, but the government is stuck in the mud of a poor economy, fuelled by low oil prices and worsened by the new wave of militancy in the Niger Delta. Many states can’t pay their workers. Nigerians’ faith in the country is under attack. Pro-Biafra agitators have added to the dicey security situation. Boko Haram, sequestered in Sambisa forest from where it launches  devastating  occasional attacks, seems to be playing the snake with a slashed tail – vicious.

    The only thing that has not been questioned is Buhari’s integrity. It is not too late for the government to set its hand to the plough, be creative, pull us out of this recession and set rolling the good times he promised.

    Our situation is not new. Nor is it peculiar. For the President, I have ordered a copy of Roger Matuz’s “The presidents fact book”. It is a compilation of “the achievements, campaigns, events, triumphs, tragedies, and legacies of every American president from George Washington to Barack Obama”. He will surely find it a great resource material from which he can draw inspiration to tackle the problems we face.

    As I pulled the book off the shelf, the bookshop manager, a cheeky fellow who is obviously struck by a strange type of childish exuberance, asked me: “Who are you ordering this for? Do they read?” Not being one to be found among people of unconscionable conduct posing as “radicals”, I quickly summoned my legs for a dash outside the shop.

    Just when we thought the noisy controversy generated by his scurrilous trilogy, “My Watch”, in which he portrayed everybody as unworthy in character, we thought former President Olusegun Obasanjo had hit the peak of his egocentric tendencies. How wrong we were.

    Obasanjo, without provocation, last week, suddenly lashed out at Buhari, asking him to stop whining and face the economy. He called the National Assembly a den of unarmed robbers who should get the kind of treatment to which the judiciary has been subjected in a desperate bid to rid the institution of corruption. He was harsh and brash, taking no prisoner.

    The lawmakers, of course, defended their integrity. They described Obasanjo as the grandfather of corruption and accused him of plotting against Buhari. The former President has since held his fire. A colleague remarked that he must have had memories of his days in the Abacha gulag flooding back to him.

    For Obasanjo, I have ordered a copy of “The life plan study Bible”, edited by John Hagoe. He should pay attention to Luke 6:42, Psalms 10:4 and Proverbs 8:13.

    It is fine that Dr Goodluck Jonathan has shaken off the moroseness that comes with a major calamity, such as losing the presidency. He has since hit the lecture circuit, turning it all into a great advantage. He is now an apostle of good governance, leadership and democracy. The halls, I am told, are throbbing with people.

    But Jonathan still owes the world the story of his presidency. Besides a pack of the highly rated multivitamin Pharmaton, I plan to mail His Excellency a copy of  Judith Barrington’s “Writing the memoir”.  A president caged in a demonic villa will surely have a lot to tell.

    Poor Kemi Adeosun. The more the Finance minister tries to explain the government’s handling of the economy, the more furious her critics get. The other day she said about N750b had been pumped into the economy to tackle the crippling recession. From many angles came a flood of questions : “Where is the money? Who got it? How was it spent?” Some have even questioned Mrs Adeosun’s competence.

    I hope the woman still finds time to sleep. From me she will get a brand new M2 Basic Automatic Blood Pressure Monitor, the OMRON brand. She needs it, no doubt.

    Former police chief Solomon Arase has opened his law office. Those who expected him to open a car shop after his predecessor Ibrahim Idris accused him of leaving office with 48 exotic vehicles must have been disappointed. Arase advised Idris to stop crying over cars and face his tough job. From me, Idris is getting a list of companies willing to donate cars to the police, but they have put a caveat-  kidnappers and robbers must be reined in.

    Senator Dino Melaye has made the list again. He remains as pugnacious as ever after being vaulted from street activism – rent-a-crowd, as some would insist – to the Senate. Hyperactive and easily excited like an over pampered kindergarten undergraduate , Melaye seizes the floor to make wild allegations and disturb the peace of the chamber with his inanities. By now, the distinguished senator must have run out of “Kalms”, the herbal medication that aids sleep at night and clear, calm and reflective reasoning during the day. That was what I mailed him last year. He gets a full pack – in the spirit of this season of goodwill.

    Chief Tony Anenih has quit partisan politics after presenting his memoirs, which have enjoyed good mention in the media. He no longer wishes to be called and addressed as “Mr Fix it”, the sobriquet he earned by what many thought was his rare ability to turn things around during elections. His critics – as well as his admirers – ascribe to him either rightly or wrongly the unusual skill of turning  a loser into a winner and vice versa. For this quality, he was loathed by some, respected by many and feared by all.

    Many believe that with his Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) losing the 2015 election after threatening to rule Nigeria for 60 years non-stop and former Governor Adams Oshiomhole troubling him at home with his vociferous campaign against godfathers, it was time the chief quit politics.

    From me, the Iyasele of Esanland will get a massaging machine and a year’s supply of the refreshing drink “Lucozade” to keep him as active as ever, even in retirement. Who knows, the old man may some day be pressured to lend a hand in saving the troubled party.

    Even before fate thrust onto his laps the governorship of Kaduna State, Nasir El-Rufai was a cantankerous fellow. Temperamental, conceited and overrated, El-Rufai has been jumping from one battle to another since he mounted the saddle as governor. He ordered beggars off the street in a manner that infuriated the poor. He forged a division within the local All Progressives Congress (APC), fighting Senator Shehu Sani. Communal clashes are common. The Shiites, whose leader has been in detention for months, he has accused of planning an Iranian type of revolution in Nigeria, just to justify the hammering of the sect that lost many of its members in a bloody encounter with soldiers.

    There are rumours that El-Rufai was a major influence in the internecine feud that saw the APC going into the Ondo State governorship election a divided team. He is said to have his eyes on being president in 2019, a claim he has refused to admit or dismiss.

    Whatever his critics may say about him and his fairy tale rise to stardom, El-Rufai has been lucky; his past has refused to haunt him, unlike many of his former colleagues who are either answering questions on what they did while in office or hustling contract papers in Abuja.

    I have ordered for His Excellency a copy of the Holy Quran. He should pay attention to  Quran 7:146 and Quran 16:23.

    My mailing list remains open to accommodate any omission that may have occurred.  Feel free to contact me should you notice that any of our deserving compatriots has been left out of this list.

    Compliments of the season.