A husband means a lot to his wife. He gives her shelter, comfort and joy. When the unexpected happens, who can replace him? None? Well, a widow, Mrs Blessing Ochuko Ohu and others think otherwise. Rather than dwell in the past, she has established a foundation to immortalise her late husband. Evelyn Osagie was at the unveiling of the foundation.
Wearily, they strolled into Eko Fm Multipurpose Hall that Thursday afternoon. Women between the ages of 20 and 50 thronged in, exchanging knowing looks with eyes that have shed much tears. They smiled warily as their eyes rested on the banner that read: Every widow deserves to smile, the theme of the event.
They were there for the inauguration of the Bayo Ohu Foundation, established by the widow of the late Assistant News Editor of The Guardian, Blessng, to immortalise her husband and provide succour to widows. She said: “Bayo Ohu Foundation centres on widows. We intend to put smiles on the faces of widows and motivate them that life can still be better. I have been in the channel of widowhood and have also passed through some tough times. I know what widows are passing through. Yet, nobody is speaking for them. I want to be their voice and reach out to them.”
The foundation brought succour to some widows, particularly Mrs Esther Osahon, Mrs Mercy Nwagasi, Mrs Maryam Mohammed and Mrs Juliana Udeh. They were given grinding machines. Others, including the widows of some late journalists went home with freebies consisting foodstuff and products donated by Unilever Nigeria Plc and Dangote Group of Companies. Among them was Mariam, widow of the late Edo Ugbagwu, formerly, The Nation.
They hailed the foundation, saying it has added value to their lives. Mrs Nwagasi said: “Out of frustration I was frying akara and puff puff. This machine will help more.”
For Mrs Osahon, mother of seven, who sells tomatoes, the gesture came as an answer to prayers. “The foundation has brought us out for people to know that we, widows, are suffering. We are really suffering. We face a lot of things that we cannot say…and no helper but God. But Mrs Blessing has made us to laugh. With what she has done, I know things would change for the better. Now my business will grow. When they buy from me, they would grind from me.”
They were given pep-talk by some dignitaries led by the founder of Centre for Moral Development, Pastor Aduragbemi Alagbada. Hers was a case of grace to grass. “I was a full-time housewife who didn’t know how to buy things because my hubby took care of everything and pampered me and the children. So, when he died, over 15 years ago, I saw hope dashed in pieces and bleakness. I was in my 30s then and our first child was 12 and the last three years old. We have children. He was busy helping others and at 45, he did not build a house. We were evicted from the house and ended up sleeping in the palour of my brother in-law. I thought of ending it all. I almost committed suicide. As Christians with the Deeper Life Bible Church, we were encouraged to cleave to the church and not to family. But the Christian brothers failed me,” she said.
But, according to her, all that has changed since she rediscovered God. Today, Mrs Alagbada runs a fashion outfit and the Centre for Moral Development geared towards educating people, especially widows, on morality and ethical living. She said: “I grieved for so long due to ignorance but I am here to testify that God is my helper. God discovered me. I now see widowhood as a privilege. This was after someone took me to Pastor Olukoya who encouraged and talked me out of my sorry-state. That was how I discovered the purpose of my life and the Centre for Moral Development was born. Now, what some husbands and wives could not achieve together, God has given me. I have an engineer, doctor and my last child is graduating as a lawyer. I now run a fashion shop and the Centre for Moral Development. He became a better husband than ever. People no longer believe I am a widow. Here lies that hopeless widow of 15 years ago. He gave me beauty for ashes.”
“It’s beautiful, it’s wonderful…I will get there…my future is bright…I will get there,” was the song that ushered in founder of Head High International Organisation, Mrs Tinu Odugbemi. “Life’s circumstances would not want you to smile. The loss of ones husband is a compound one. You lose your marital status, breadwinner, brother, confidant, friend and lots more. Am I ever going to smile again? Will I ever make it again? Every widow deserves to smile. But it depends on you. You have a choice to make yourself smile,” she said.
She linked the plights of widows to the kind of marriage contracted, urging women to move close to their husbands. She also urged society to protect the widows.
