NKECHI and Brown had been living together as a couple for over 10 years. They were blessed with three lovely daughters. To the outside community, they were an ideal couple, as they could be seen holding hands while they take walks down the streets. To put it mildly, they made every bachelor and spinster green with envy each time they take their evening strolls.
To the whole neighbourhood, Nkechi was known and addressed as Mrs. Brown and she would glow and respond with a wave of the hand whenever one addresses her that way. She was respected, and she had a perfect ‘home’ or so we thought. Nkechi’s world in one day came crashing down on her when the unexpected happened, did I say unexpected? I would like to paraphrase. Her world came crashing down on her when the unimaginable happened.
Brown had just been promoted at work (by the way Brown is a banker). Nkechi was elated, no she was thrilled. She did not stop there. She came to church to testify to the goodness of Almighty God on her household. She told of how they had hitherto stayed in a one-bedroom apartment and the package that was attached to her ‘husband’s promotion (a four-bedroom apartment, fully furnished and an official car with a driver).
The whole church gave a resounding applause following her testimony. The following week she went to the market and prepared Brown’s favourite meal, banga with starch, unusually. Brown came home a little earlier than expected with a strange looking man in a faded blue suit, the man was clutching a very huge Bible that Nkechi never knew existed in the stores.
Warmly, Nkechi welcomed her husband with a hug, but she got the shock of her life when Brown gently but firmly shoved her side. The Daddy welcome his kids chorused was met with the same cold response. She ushered the funny- looking man in and a surprised Nkechi followed them from behind.
She could not comprehend what the problem was. Was there a problem in the office? Had the promotion been withdrawn? Was there a bad news item from the village? A thousand and one questions went through her mind. She had lived with her husband for ten years. So far, the union had been blissful. Brown had never in those ten years raised his voice on her or even the kids, so what on earth could be wrong?
Innocently, she entered their one-bedroom apartment and before she could offer their guest any drink, her husband ordered her to sit down. Still feeling a little numb from Brown’s strange behaviour, she managed to sit down. Brown introduced the man as a prophet who he met earlier in the day when he went to have lunch with his colleagues. He claimed the man told him (Brown) the story of his life, right from his childhood days. The man even told him about his promotion and how the future would look bright except for one thing. At this point, Nkechi’s heart was beating so fast she could hear it.
Brown paused and looked at the man, as if asking for support. The man cleared his throat and continued from where Brown stopped. He looked straight into her eyes and said: “Madam, you be witch na you wan kill this man.” Before she could recover from the shock of what the man was saying, Brown, pointing an accusing finger at her, said: “Nkechi, so after all I have done for you. This is the thanks I get? Prophet says that if I continue to live with you, I will die in six months”. Nkechi said she could not sit any longer. She tried to find her voice to respond, but Brown was not through. He started dealing severe blows on the woman, shouting on top of his voice, he yelled, “leave my house,” throwing her things out in the process.
Still dazed from the happenings, all she could mutter was Dim, Dim (which means my husband, my husband). This even infuriated him the more. He got angrier and asked: “Who is your husband? Listen, you witch; I am not your husband, neither are you my wife. You are simply the mother of my children. After all, did I pay any bride price on you?”
At this point, neighbours had started rushing out from their rooms. Brown was not deterred by the crowd. He continued to shout: “Leave my house! Leave my house! Witch! You are not my wife. You are not my wife! You are just the mother of my children”.
All efforts by neighbours, friends and family members to make peace met a brick wall. To cut a very long story short, that was how Nkechi left her home of ten years to become a single woman and disgraced. The shame she brought on her parents could not be explained. Looking back, she recalled how she got pregnant for the man she called her husband for over ten years, the man she had sacrificed her future for.
And due to her pregnant state, Brown compelled her to move in with him and promised that the marriage rites would be done soon after the baby was born. Nkechi had been so carried away by Brown’s promises to meet with her parents that it never dawned on her that ten years, three kids, had passed so quickly. Whenever she tried to remind him, he would tell her that the time was not right. He claimed he was waiting for the big bucks to come before they perform their marriage rites. Well, the rest as they say is history.
Brown has since moved to Abuja. He has a very huge four-bedroom apartment and a car to match. Nkechi is stuck in Lagos with her kids, squatting with friends here and there, as her parents were still too angry to accommodate her. With no further education, no job (Brown had earlier told her there was no need for her to work). Where would she go from here? Would Brown come back to his senses? Was this a set-up so that she would not partake in the benefits that came with his promotion? Who was this fake prophet and where did he come from? If she was good enough to be his wife in a one-bedroom apartment, why was she not good enough when the goodies were here? What does the future hold for Nkechi and her kids? Only tomorrow will tell.
My comment
If you must move in with a man, ensure he fulfils all conditions of acceptable marriage rites. If he does not have enough money, support him. (Wedding does not necessarily have to be expensive. You can go to the registry with just two witnesses. That way, you earn yourself and your kinsmen the respect they deserve. Don’t be too blinded by love that may not even appreciate you. I don’t care how long you have lived with him. I don’t care whether you have kids for him or not. If he has not performed the marriage rites, you are not his wife, and he is certainly not your husband.
The sooner you rectify this, the better for everyone. If he loves you, let him prove it. With one thousand naira, you can be married.
Activist-lawyer Richard Adekanmi Komolafe, his wife, Susanna and children have alleged threat to their lives by some hoodlums suspected to be land grabbers.