The Nation Newspaper

Tag: women

  • Social medicine: Sexual health matters of men and women in the 35-50-year age bracket

    And any time crisis erupts, they recite the creed and strengthen it with the injunction, ‘to cherish and to hold until death do us part’’. The storm is weathered with three simple words-‘I am sorry’’ a passionate kiss or embrace and life continues in perfect harmony. For others, there is no love lust, men are simply machines that make babies and once they have fulfilled their matrimonial obligations, life begins with younger men. Such women simply abandon husbands even in Hospitals at critical moments of their lives.

    Studies have provided avenues through which we can understand why some men and women, particularly those in the age bracket 35-50 years behave the way they do when it comes to matters of sex. Marital disharmony involves very many variables beyond the scope of this piece but age, cannot be ignored. There are now thousands of studies on aging, to try and explain at the molecular level, what proteins are involved and how we can achieve reversal-perhaps the recent scientific breakthrough in the biosynthesis of brain cells in the laboratory is one step in the journey to find solutions to age related diseases such as Alzheimer and senile dementia. Prevention in many situations are cheaper and safer than cure, and as many couples have found out, it is easier for the head of an elephant to pass through the thread hole of a sewing needle than for any woman to successfully reverse the trend when she has let a bad matrimonial situation to go from bad to worse and reach the point of no return. If you think you are too beautiful for one man or two much of a big guy to be tied down by one man. You need to realize that there are risks when any one allows himself or herself to be led by the natural endowment they have-everyone is beautiful as long as God created us all but until people come together, it is difficult to characterize or grade beauty as observed from the outside of a person, considering the fact that behind the personae there is a personality ,unknown, untested, unpredictable. Imagine for instance a young male Nigerian who met he described as a very beautiful lady in the UK and within a short time they were in Nigeria for Marriage. The lady was actually from his tribe, understood and spoke his language but claimed she was from Togo, and while in her husband’s house in UK received different categories of lovers who spoke French with her any time he was around , a situation that went on for years until they came back to Nigeria . Though she simply disappeared with more than half of his properties, when she felt they had come back finally, the young man is alive to start life afresh with the only daughter the relationship produced.

    In many instances, where a man takes off to stay with another woman without any arguments, there may have been some ‘ smoke before the fire came up’’;- ignorance of what a woman should do to keep a husband happy outside food and child bearing, arrogance and disrespect ranging from supremacy problems to husband battering , elevating house helps to spousal equivalent, doing everything including preparing food and taking care of husband’s underclothing’s all have very potential of incremental

    damage to the romance and sexual components of married life

    Beginning gradually, a man begins to respond to what he sees, hears and a critical moment arrives when try as he can, he finds it impossible to lead events , so events lead him to the beginning of a cascade of problems .A father told his verbose son when the former announced he had decided to take another wife so he can enjoy the second part of his life on earth,-false, ‘To abort my decision in order to please you and your mother is to permanently put myself in displeasure for my life, because tradition forbids me to disclose my grievances with you, my son’’

    Sexual deprivation at times comes later when children will have all gone out and people outside assume a couple are about to begin another honeymoon ,and then one party understands he has made a huge mistake ;This is the understanding of many guys now that everything and any non lethal weapon could be employed to ensure a man takes a marriage vow either in the church or court, and other means employed until a child, preferably a boy comes in, after that, sex becomes weaponised for the many situations where it is required to get dresses, cash, cars houses etc. it is now an essential commodity –Younger men are abandoning their children to begin afresh while older ones that have put in everything are simply dying from stress and other diabetogenic and hypertensionogenic conditions created probably inadvertently in association with sexual dysfunction Many believe that societies and cultures show empathy and tolerance to polygamy, polyandry and even worse and unprintable forms of marital arrangements that completely enslave women, but as was demonstrated in a very large African country recently, continuous sexual subordination only serves to bring out the worst in women . Where there is wrong assessment of self worth as opposed to respect value measured for husband are some of the issues discussed, and many so called good friends to lead you out on one foot and have it sawn off , where there are numerous relations, business associates co workers and fellowship groups , it is not difficult to find an outlet to ventilate feelings and find comfort, Again the problem is that, discordance develops sooner or later and the desires linger driving victims to extremes of action that endanger health.

    Health education on human sexuality is unacceptable in many African communities;-when this writer in company of a Colleague of blessed memory did a study on Child abuse in a population of slum dwellers involving a state in the south-south geopolitical region of Nigeria, the reception in more than 50% of the households surveyed was lethally hostile, and so many couples suffer sexual deprivations in painful silence. Others transfer their sexual frustrations to symptom complexes and take hospital admissions each time husband is around. The unsuspecting man continues to settle medical bills until someone discovers something. A reasonable number of others seek gratification outside with dangerous consequences.

    Rather than apportion blame, think of running away or doing nothing, reasonable people look inwards for solution, do the best they can with a high sense of commitment towards success and then ask God to guide and control everything so that success attends their honest efforts.

    The current trend where intending couples are expected to ensure they run all possible laboratory tests including blood group, hemoglobin genotype, screening for hepatitis, syphilis HIV/AIDS, is good, but certainly not enough, because, there are conditions that cannot be captured through lab investigations. There is need to know who you are going to live your life with you must be able to see, hear and possibly feel to ascertain that what you are accepting is normal , so you need to know something about your husband/wife early in your marriage-otherwise, when deviations emerge, you are not likely to know what the normal was, and whether or not to hold yourself wholly or partially responsible for what has happened.-many able bodied optimally functioning young men go into marriage strong and healthy, only to become ravaged with morbid obesity, kidney disease, hypertension and diabetes mellitus from over indulgence—they become a nervous wrecks and impotent, as more pressure to perform is pilled on them, the situation gets worse and they commit suicide so as to let all intra psychic sufferings go. How much of his/her past life do you really know, in terms of drugs, felling of self worth, considerations for others? Relationships, attitude towards family, nuclear, extended families

    Every man or woman must try and know himself or herself and honestly disclose all relevant details to the person they intend to marry before coming together under one roof. Intending couples should discuss issues with regards to general health status, things that turn you off, the ones that turn him on etc. what parts of your body are different from normal, for instance the normal vaginal odourant molecules are aphrodisiac (cause sexual arousal) ,not offensive, but chronic vaginal infections–trichomonas vaginalis and cancer of the cervix will create very offensive and sometimes foamy or blood stained vaginal discharge which becomes more copious during coitus. Conditions like these are sometimes concealed until court marriage register has been signed. Some women also use uterine fibroids as pseudo pregnancy to hoodwink men into marriage and even when the truth is discovered, a man may decide to play intrigue versus intrigue, maintaining a fertile mistress and producing children outside the marriage.

    Emphasis is on trying as hard as possible to keep the man or woman in your life as close to you as possible ,and stop making comparisons between your husband and any other one ,openly or in your fantasy ,or in advertisement because in western societies, the situation is completely different- you can get almost anything you want- there are drugs that can turn you into a sex machine within weeks, drugs that can enlarge any part of your body and surgical operations that can create a new person out of you, they are however not as safe as the claims of those who are marketing them. The side effects have one common pathway. sudden death ,for some, the side effects come later when you are older in the forms of cancer, heart, liver and diseases of prostate.

     

  • ‘Emulate women of the Bible’

    A Prophetess, Mother-in-Israel Olusola Adeyemi, has admonished women to imitate the deeds of women like Dorcas and Deborah as recorded in the Bible.

    Speaking at the first anniversary of the bands of Deborah and Dorcas of the Cherubim and Seraphim Unification Church, Ogba-Ikeja Lagos last Sunday, she said contemporary women can learn a great deal of leadership qualities from the two biblical figures the bands are named after.

    She said: “Deborah was a mother, a wife, a judge, a prophetess and she was still able to lead the children of Israel to battle.

    “This shows that God is interested in using women to make positive impacts as leaders in the society and the nation at large.”

    Adeyemi, who was the preacher at the anniversary, tasked women to emulate the virtues of kindness, humility and tolerance found in Dorcas.

    Addressing members of both bands, she told them to look beyond the fanfare of the anniversary celebration by making a personal commitment with God to model their lives in holiness.

    “As pioneer members of these bands, the examples

    you set will go a long way in making the difference required to

    transform this nation,” she stated.

  • What a man wants in a woman

    What a man wants in a woman

    It is true that men generally have great expectations from their ideal women – there are some unique features and attributes he desires and some others he cannot tolerate or withstand.
    It is also true that as men are different, so are their preferences for their women. While some men like independent women who are very ambitious; some prefers women with good character, while others simply want women who can satisfy them sexually.
    Here are some things men desires from their women:Adewole Okesina wants his woman to be presentable and one that possesses a good home training.

    He said” She should know how to relate with people and always respect me in the presence of others. She should be ready to face anything that comes our way whether good or bad.”For ladies who do not know how to cook, Okesina will not consider. Hear him:”She must be a good cook and let me know whenever she is offended so there won’t be quarrels.

    Having been married for years, Mr. Femi Dada is of the opinion that men prefer women that will care for them anytime. Apart from being caring, Dada wants his woman to “be God fearing, decent and neat. She should always take care of her environment.”

    According to Dada, men are faced with challenges at work and then come home feeling bothered wanting to share with their spouse.

    He urged a woman that has a listening ear to listen to whatever bothers her husband so he can be relieved, “A woman that will take me for who I am and accommodate my shortcomings is what I need. An unselfish woman that values children and one that will care for my extended family. Not just someone that will say ‘I and my husband alone,” he added.Not ruling out the spiritual aspect to relationships, Dada advises husbands and wives to have the love and fear for God.

    Like Dada, Mr. Henry Mgbeme wants a woman that is caring and supportive. A woman who will not depend on him for everything she needs nor engage in worldly activities.
    For Mgbeme, he wants a modest woman. “I prefer her simple and modest – I would not like my woman to use jewellery.”Going the African tradition, Mr. Atumeyi Uwanni, a married man for years, prefer a woman well nurtured in her traditions and must not be canal. This he says is a typical African woman.

    Speaking further, Uwanni said “A man can be flirt, known to the woman but she can absorb and manage. But no man can manage the flirt character of a woman.
    Also, Uwanni, frowns at women with low hygiene manners.
    He advised that such a woman should strive to imbibe healthy lifestyle.Uwanni was also of the view that, “A woman should be good in all ramifications.”

    For those women who do not exhibit good character, he advised that such a woman should read the last chapter of the Book of Proverbs as a guideline to managing her home.
    To him,” Marriage is friendship. Friendship is companionship. Companionship is what a man looks out for in a woman. If there is no relationship, there is no fellowship. The relationship between the spouses metamorphoses into fellowship.”
    For nagging and callous women, Uwanni says such persons are not welcome by men. Such women, he says will not welcome a man’s ‘people’ and friends into his house.Uwanni therefore proposes for love in a relationship. This he says covers a multitude of sin. Love, he pointed out, should not be only in bed but also outside bed.

    On his part, Henry Ose wants a sincere woman that he can trust anywhere, anytime and any day.
    He said “Women can fool men to the brim if they want to. A girl giving her body doesn’t guarantee her love for you. She might as well be fooling you.”I don’t want a woman that will still have feelings for her ex-lover because she would never want to let him go,” Ose added.

    Reeling the preferences he wants in a woman, Lanre Bello said that he wants a woman from a good background, Christian with a good behavior that can accommodate his friends and people.

    Bello did not also fail to mention that his ideal woman “must be a good cook and be very good in bed. For, if she is an amateur, then it’s going to be hell for the man.”Dami Israel Ojo wants a woman of good character. To him: “It is not all about the beauty or make-up. The good character is the beauty of a woman and this is what will stand the test of time when the beauty would have gone. This is what builds up a good family.”

    Ojo also craves for a woman that is very understanding, “I want a woman with understanding. She should understand my type of person, for I am a very stubborn and aggressive type.”

  • Local govt trains 300 women

    The Auyo Local Council in Jigawa State said it had trained more than 300 women on various trades under its economic empowerment programme.

    The council Chairman, Alhaji Muhammad Danjani, announced this in an interview with journalists.

    Danjani said that 60 women were exposed to tailoring, weaving, beads and pomade making as well as soap and jelly processing.

    He said the council had provided resettlement packages to the beneficiaries to enable them to become self-reliant.

    Danjani added that another set of 280 women were trained on animal husbandry and ground nut oil processing.

    He said that groundnut milling machines and goats were distributed to the graduates to enable them to engage in productive activities.

    The chairman said the beneficiaries were drawn from Gamafoi, Safa, Auyakayi and Ayan women groups, adding that the project was executed with support from International Fund for Agricultural Development (IFAD).

    He said the council had also disbursed N837,000 to widows, orphans and most vulnerable in the area.

    Danjani added that each of the beneficiaries received N10,000 to enable them engage in productive activities.

    “We have also trained women on complimentary diet and provided support to persons living with HIV and AIDS.

    “The gesture is to empower women and assist them to take care of their children,” he said.

    According to him, the council, in collaboration with the state government, has trained youths on various trades to reduce poverty, provide job opportunities and enhance wealth creation among rural dwellers.

    Also commenting, Mrs Hauwa Ahmad, a beneficiary of the programme, praised the gesture, adding that the programme had improved the social and economic well-being of rural women.

     

  • NFF may suspend Women Elite League

    The much awaited Women Elite League which was billed to kick off next season may be put on hold if the football governing body of Nigeria,Nigeria Football Federation (NFF) is unable to get a sponsor for the maiden edition.

    The Congress of the National Women Football League (NWFL) had agreed in February 2013, prior to the kick off the 2012/2013 Women Pro League (WPL) season that the top six teams from the two League groups will qualify for the Elite League. This may not be feasible as the (NWFL) is still shopping for sponsors.

    Speaking on the condition of anonymity an NFF official told futaa.com that it would not be possible to start the Premier League if the Federation was unable to come up with a sponsor before the start of the new season.

    “There would be no point starting something that we may not be able to sustain. If it means suspending it for a couple more years,then it is better than starting and stopping”the source said.

    “It would be a burden on the participating clubs if we are not able to get the sponsors that would support us”the source continued.

    Chairman of the NWFL Dilichukwu Onyedinma has continuously appealed to corporate bodies and organisations to partner with the board to sponsor the league.

  • Women, men swap jobsWomen, men swap jobs

    Women, men swap jobsWomen, men swap jobs

    You sure have seen men doing wonders with women’s hair in beauty shops. Well, women, too, are pushing men aside in jobs once thought to be too demanding for the ‘weaker sex’.

    With remarkable ease, women are handling saws, splitting wood and proceeding to give you some of the best furniture you have ever seen.

    They are equally sporting the apron, but not to cook, just to keep them neat and tidy as they butcher and sell meat for a living.

    But just as men are also dressing hair and loving it, so are they cooking, baking and nursing patients back to life.

    Call it the mutual job-swap.

    In the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), Abuja there is a gradual change in the time-worn conception that some occupations are reserved for a particular gender.

    In Kubwa, the most populated of the satellite towns in the FCT, male hairdressers are the centre of attraction for women who crave fashionable hairstyles. One of the hairdressers, Newton Ogbonna, said his passion for beauty attracted him to the occupation.

    His words: “I started this business because I have a passion for beauty and this has made the job very easy for me. I believe that before one does anything, one must have a passion for it. Once one builds the passion for what one does, one can succeed in it irrespective of one’s gender.”

    Besides, there is a whole lot of difference between the ways some of the men in the beauty world handle some aspects of the business. These include pedicure and manicure. There is no basis for comparison with that of the opposite sex. Findings from our correspondent in Kubwa Village Market tend to support this view.

    In a chat with some of Ogbonna’s customers, Abuja Review gathered that this male hairdresser thrives on the job not only because of his awesome skills but also because of the special fondness most ladies have for men attending to their beauty routine.

    This, they explained, accounted for Ogbonna’s range of services which, among others, include hairdressing to fixing of eye-lashes, artificial nails and exotic make-up.

    On the other hand, ambitious female artisans now try their hands in carpentry, mechanic and trades that were seen as “men’s jobs” in those days.

    One outstanding example is a female furniture maker, Nneka Mbaegbu, who plies her trade at Deidei Junction in Abuja. Her story into the male-dominated job is also interesting even as it is rewarding.

    In an encounter with Abuja Review, Nneka said: “I started carpentry work when life became unbearable for me after the collapse of my other businesses. Our correspondent gathered that she decided to live on the job because her tutor vowed not to let her practice the business.

    The alluring pieces of furniture that she constructed were office chairs and tables, cabinets, household furniture and security wooden doors.

    However, Nneka sought government intervention to relocate her workshop and showroom in a permanent site since the FCT Development Control has evicted her from her former workshop.

    The job, according to her, is however taking a toll on her since she gets exhausted after operating planning woods manually.

    She said: “I get exhausted most times after the day’s business because I lack machines to process the woods. Everything I do here is manual.”

    Ladies have also taken to tricycle ridding, another hitherto masculine occupation. Keke NAPEP, as commuters fondly call the automobile, is more a ride for fun for passengers who deliberately wait for the female-operated Keke NAPEP to arrive, even while those operated by their male counterparts remain idle clamouring for passengers at Deidei Junction.

    In Kagini, there is also another business of such. Maria Boniface, another woman making brisk business in a male-dominate business, is setting a mark in meat butchering. Her business stand is also a centre of attraction to her customers who said they also go to Madalla Market to patronise other female meat butchers.

  • ‘Priority should be given to educating women’

    ‘Priority should be given to educating women’

    Abigail Ogwezzy-Ndisika is a gender expert and senior lecturer, Department of Mass communication, University of Lagos (UNILAG). She speaks with Kelechi Amakoh on the role of education in nation building, why it is imperative for government at all levels to invest in the education women among others
     
    What is your take about the United Nations International Day of the girl child?
    There is a saying that: educate a girl, you educate a family, country and also the nation- people also say that if you feel education is expensive, try ignorance. What is the import of this statement? It talks about the place of education in the development of one another. No nation can develop well without education. And more often than not in the developing nations of the world, the girl child is not a priority in the aspect of education especially in a patriarchal society but I think they are beginning to have a rethink. It is a good thing that they are coming to terms on the need to educate the girl child. Tell me how an illiterate mother will educate her child? Every young girl you see today is tomorrow’s woman. If you do not invest in the girl child of today, you are wasting the tomorrow of the nation.
    What is the Importance of education to the girl child?
    There are a whole lot to gain when you talk of educating the girl child. Education is for service to self, family and humanity. It is a sin qua non for national development. The world has ranked it as number two on the MDGs. Showing you the importance of education.
    If you say more than half of the population are females, therefore if you do not give priority to educating the girl child, in the nearest future 50 per cent of the population will not be educated.
    Are there any efforts to really push for this?
    Do we need to fight to get your child trained?  Did anyone fight before my father trained me? It tells you the importance you place on the child God has given you. Look at Germany. Merkel (Angela) is doing well. The country is doing well. You do not need the sex organs to drive a country. Investing in the girl child is a strategic investment both at the family level and at the state level.  Today, I am not a liability to anyone. I do not have to cry to my brothers, father nor my husband for help because I am empowered.
    There is a school of thought that says the education of a woman stops in the kitchen. What is your take on that?
    Everybody cooks. Do you use sex organs to cook? The greatest chefs in the world are men. Investing in a girl child is an all round success. It helps the girl take informed decisions- as a home maker, mother, and wife.
    Are girl’s aware of their self worth to diffuse the thought of this set of people?
    Yes, there are many Non Governmental Organisations (NGOs) that involve in orientating the girl child. State governments are rising to the task such as Akwa Ibom, Osun, and Delta etc. For instance, in Delta State they just launched ‘Edumarshall’. If a girl is involves in street hawking and all sort of things at the expense of her education, her parents will be arrested. There are people that go around ensuring this reform.
     It is a concerted effort. Whether you are in Otuoke or in my village in Delta State a school is in place to educate the girl child.  The home front is the first place where the girl child should be inculcated values and morals. We continue to talk to parents on the need to bring up the girl child. Also, the religious leaders should enlighten their congregations on the need to empower the girl child. Community leaders should talk about it. Youth leaders should be able to ask why a girl isn’t sent to school. People should also learn to reduce large family sizes. Be content with the child God has given you. You owe God a duty to train up that child well.
    It is not a job to be left for somebody. Everyone is involved. It is a win-win situation for the family and society at large. For example, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala is what she’s today because her parents trained her despite the absence and eagerness for education in those days.
    With education, you become more patriotic. You know no one can lure you to Italy for prostitution.
    Two years ago, a current serving lawmaker took to wife a 13 year old. Does this mean that leaders are yet to understand the importance girl child?
    People hide under the cloak of religion and other things to come up with different things. We all should look at whether these are according to global best practices. Before a law is passed, you should ask yourself if this were to be my child would I allow it. The Child Right Act passed by the National Parliament in 2003 should be the benchmark. There are cultural differences. I believe with continuous sensitisations and enlightenment the nation will be better informed.
    How would you react to issue of girls subjected to pressure from lecturers in school?
    People should not misunderstand people making passes at you for sexual harassment. I am not saying sexual harassment is not happening but there are checks. Most times, the girl child throws herself at the lecturer. These girls visit their offices at odd hour. They cheapen themselves. The girls that complain of sexual harassment are mostly weak students. I have studied in three Nigerian universities and one foreign university and I have gone through all things. It may surprise you to know my PhD was supervised in Nigeria by a man. I never knew his house, I was not asked to come to the club to see him. I just did my work. As the girl child, define what you want as an individual.
    Has the girl child been empowered recognise her worth?
    This is where socialisation comes in. You learn to say no to something that is wrong. You can marry your teacher there is no problem with that.  Learn how to carry yourself. If your teacher is interested in you, you can turn him down politely.
    As a girl child, I waded through it. While in school, I knew there was a lecturer who gave me 53 percent two times because he was interested in me. I told him “Sir, I do not have a problem with you so long as I pass my courses. Even if I have a 40 I don’t care but the day I fail I will call for my script.” I was the best student in class – so tell me how he will fail that student?  As a girl child, study hard in school. All through my undergraduate days, I missed only two classes for four years. The implication of this is that you will not find me wanting for attendance, assignments. So tell me, where will you want to catch me? Train yourself morally. If you cheapen yourself, you become a sex object everyone sees. We must put our house in order as women. When you come semi nude to school, you tell me you were sexually harassed – that is not true.
    Do you think the current Academic Staff Union of Universities (ASUU) Strike have any impact on the girl child?
    The girl child is not left to the street neither is she the only one affected by the strike. The boy child is also affected. Government should settle this matter once and for all.  Ask where their children study. Ask where they go to when they are sick. They want to leave our social amenities in comatose? When I was an undergraduate, we were three supervised by a British professor. How many British academicians would want to come to the country to teach? No country develops without quality education. ASUU says fund education. Go to Asia – Why do we call them Asian tigers? They have institutes of technology- well developed and well funded. It is not about the lecturers. It is about our future. Let us face life rough and it will smoothen somewhere.
    What’s your advice to the girl child on a day like this?

    The girl child should take advantage of the current opportunities now the world is beginning to see her gain in terms by going to school – gone are the days when your parents say you should not go to school but go into your husband’s house. The time has come. Let us flow with the tide. There is tide in the affairs of men and you need to take through those tides so you can sail smoothly.

  • ‘Women deserve more’…Orelope-Adefulire, Ajimobi’s wife seek new gender order

    ‘Women deserve more’…Orelope-Adefulire, Ajimobi’s wife seek new gender order

    Three prominent women in the Southwest are leading the advocacy for a new deal for women. They are Lagos State Deputy Governor Mrs Adejoke Orelope-Adefulire; the wife of Oyo State governor, Mrs Florence Ajimobi, and Osun State Deputy Governor Otunba Titi Laoye-Tomori.

    Mrs Orelope-Adefulire pushed for the inclusion of more women in politics and also called on every government tier to increase investment in women.

    The deputy governor said investment in women not only makes more economic sense, but has more impact as it accelerates the nation’s march to economic transformation.

    She spoke at the just concluded second National Women’s Summit organised by the Oyo State Officials’ Wives Association (OYSOWA), which held at Ibadan, the Oyo State capital.

    She said that having more women in politics “is not only important, but also a strategic way of empowering women because it has broader benefits and impact.”

    She said Nigeria has no excuse to lag behind in giving more political exposure to the women, adding that the world has realised that paying attention to gender balancing and equality is a sure way to promote change and development as well as helping to attain cohesion and stability in the society.

    She declared: “Nigerian women have the intellect and the potential to make the nation great. They have demonstrated this through the vital contributions they have made at some point in our history as pioneers of change and development.”

    The deputy governor who bemoaned the poor status of women, said the empowerment of more women through participation in decision-making at high levels in the country would fast-track the nation’s aspiration to join the world’s top economies.

    Mrs. Orelope-Adefulire, a former Commissioner for Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation (WAPA), was the keynote speaker at the summit whose theme was “Women as Agent of Change.”

    She argued further that participatory governance with more women would enhance the attainment of gender equality and pro-poor strategy, maintaining that as such, “Nigeria can edge higher among other developing nations with meaningful investment in women, as such investment as smart economics. Indeed, investment in girls is even smarter economics.”

    Orelope got the nod of the wife of Oyo State Governor, Mrs Florence Ajimobi and Deputy Governor of Osun State, Mrs. Grace Tomori.

    There were other high-profile women and government officials at the forum.

    On her part, the chief host Mrs. Ajimobi, urged participants at the forum to support women in positions of authority in order to enable them succeed and effectively exhibit the leadership potential and capabilities of the female gender.

    She said: “Many of our men folk, despite the global strides of women in the political arena, have refused to bury the misconceived perception of the second fiddle place of women in the scheme of things. They still see women from the prism of a disposable commodity or an item that is good only in the kitchen.

    “Today, there are still societies which see a woman as subservient to a man, in mental and biological capacity. This is why, in spite of glaring monumental achievements of women across the globe and the phenomenal rise of the role that women play in the world, many are still gender insensitive and perceive women as being mentally inferior and their roles largely unappreciated.”

    Speaker after speaker commended Mrs. Ajimobi and members of OYSOWA for seeking to effect a positive change in the physical, emotional, social and economic well-being of families and communities in the state, through giving more support and empowerment to women.

    “It is my firm belief that an equal participation of our men and women in the development of our nation will certainly help in bring about the desired change in our society, strengthen our economy, and make Nigeria a country to be proud of,” said Mrs. Rose Oyedele, one of the resource persons at the forum.

     

  • What a woman wants in a man

    What a woman wants in a man

    It is true that every woman has got expectations from her man. She desires her ideal man to possess some sterling qualities, behave in a very decent manner and have the financial wherewithal to take care of her. Hope Samson spoke with a cross section of women folk on this subject matter.

    Mrs. Charity Maduka has been married for 19 years. She is not interested in whether the man is tall or short, black or white, handsome or not, what matters to her is a man with genuine love, “I want love from my man because love covers multitude of sin. If love exists, he will easily forgive and not raise his hands to beat me or be aggressive,” she said.
    She added; “I also want a man that can endure, patient, gentle, easy going and caring. My man should be able to go the extra mile in helping out with the chores at home. He should be able to take me as his better half; he should be there for me always and help out with the house chores.”

    But Mrs. Becky Uwani, with 22 years marital experience said her ideal man must have some qualities that stand him out from others, “I want a man that is tall, dark in complexion and handsome. He should be a man that assists in house duties and allows me rest on his chest.”

    For Miss. Bisola Adelanwa, currently in a relationship, her ideal man can be of any complexion but she is quick to add that her man must be responsible in all ramifications, “I like a tall lanky, dark man. I think I can go with any complexion. I like a responsible man that has a good dress sense, not flashy but simple and casual.

    “I respect a man that is hard working and not dependent on his salary. He should have other means of generating income to sustain himself and family.
    “My man should be able to provide for me even without demanding for it. I get upset when a man makes me demand, he should be observant so as to know when I need things instead of expecting me to make demands all the times, “she said.
    Priscillia Joseph is not interested in height, complexion or a good-looking man. All she’s after is that the man must be educated and honest.
    He words: “Men nowadays are bloody liars and it is very hard to find an honest man. Since most men are not honest, every woman has now devised a way of getting money from her husband if she really wants with her woman power.”
    Margaret Okere, an undergraduate said she wants a God-fearing and caring man. She believes that that once the man is caring and showers her with loves she is fine. “A man can’t buy me with his money; he must not use his money to care for me. I feel he is trying to buy my love when he uses his money on me. Calling to ask how I feel and if I have eaten is enough for me to know that he cares for me. Even if he can’t call, a flash is enough for me to know that he thinks of me daily.”
    Marvis Ogbeni, currently in a relationship said her man must be God-fearing. “A God-fearing man will make sure his spouse is comfortable on every side and would not want to hurt her because of the love of God that dwells in him.
     “I am not moved by the outward appearance of a man, whether, tall or short, fair or black complexioned, rich or poor, ugly or handsome. I look for the inner qualities which makes a man responsible,” she said.
    She equally expects her man to have a listening ear and take her as a real woman, “A man that can protect me especially from a troublesome family or mother in-law, a man of understanding mostly when it comes to the areas where I am weak and willing to assist me, is my ideal man.”
    On her part, Helen Enebele said: “I just need a man with little money that will love me because there can’t be love without money. I want a man with money and love at the same time and I don’t think love can go without money.”
     
  • ‘Women deserve more’

    ‘Women deserve more’

    Orelope-Adefulire, Ajimobi’s wife seek new gender order

    Three prominent women in the Southwest are leading the advocacy for a new deal for women. They are Lagos State Deputy Governor Mrs Adejoke Orelope-Adefulire; the wife of Oyo State governor, Mrs Florence Ajimobi, and Osun State Deputy Governor Otunba Titi Laoye-Tomori.

    Mrs Orelope-Adefulire pushed for the inclusion of more women in politics and also called on every government tier to increase investment in women.

    The deputy governor said investment in women not only makes more economic sense, but has more impact as it accelerates the nation’s march to economic transformation.

    She spoke at the just concluded second National Women’s Summit organised by the Oyo State Officials’ Wives Association (OYSOWA), which held at Ibadan, the Oyo State capital.

    She said that having more women in politics “is not only important, but also a strategic way of empowering women because it has broader benefits and impact.”

    She said Nigeria has no excuse to lag behind in giving more political exposure to the women, adding that the world has realised that paying attention to gender balancing and equality is a sure way to promote change and development as well as helping to attain cohesion and stability in the society.

    She declared: “Nigerian women have the intellect and the potential to make the nation great. They have demonstrated this through the vital contributions they have made at some point in our history as pioneers of change and development.”

    The deputy governor who bemoaned the poor status of women, said the empowerment of more women through participation in decision-making at high levels in the country would fast-track the nation’s aspiration to join the world’s top economies.

    Mrs. Orelope-Adefulire, a former Commissioner for Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation (WAPA), was the keynote speaker at the summit whose theme was “Women as Agent of Change.”

    She argued further that participatory governance with more women would enhance the attainment of gender equality and pro-poor strategy, maintaining that as such, “Nigeria can edge higher among other developing nations with meaningful investment in women, as such investment as smart economics. Indeed, investment in girls is even smarter economics.”

    Orelope got the nod of the wife of Oyo State Governor, Mrs Florence Ajimobi and Deputy Governor of Osun State, Mrs. Grace Tomori.

    There were other high-profile women and government officials at the forum.

    On her part, the chief host Mrs. Ajimobi, urged participants at the forum to support women in positions of authority in order to enable them succeed and effectively exhibit the leadership potential and capabilities of the female gender.

    She said: “Many of our men folk, despite the global strides of women in the political arena, have refused to bury the misconceived perception of the second fiddle place of women in the scheme of things. They still see women from the prism of a disposable commodity or an item that is good only in the kitchen.

    “Today, there are still societies which see a woman as subservient to a man, in mental and biological capacity. This is why, in spite of glaring monumental achievements of women across the globe and the phenomenal rise of the role that women play in the world, many are still gender insensitive and perceive women as being mentally inferior and their roles largely unappreciated.”

    Speaker after speaker commended Mrs. Ajimobi and members of OYSOWA for seeking to effect a positive change in the physical, emotional, social and economic well-being of families and communities in the state, through giving more support and empowerment to women.

    “It is my firm belief that an equal participation of our men and women in the development of our nation will certainly help in bring about the desired change in our society, strengthen our economy, and make Nigeria a country to be proud of,” said Mrs. Rose Oyedele, one of the resource persons at the forum.