We saw it coming. It is an old trick that rarely fails. Cry wolf for some time, forge a scarcity, watch the people suffer as if we are at war, issue a long emotional statement of sympathy -and empathy – loaded with facts and figures on why a price hike is imminent and then, launch a big push for a new price.
That has been the game in the past two or so weeks. A crushing petrol scarcity has marred what would have been for many an exciting Yuletide. How did we get here?
Marketers have been demanding to be paid billions of naira for supplies made in those days of subsidy bonanza when every trickster, prankster and hustler in town was an oil and gas magnate. All you needed was to know somebody in the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) or in any of its subsidiaries; you were made for life – just by hawking some papers. Genuine and counterfeit traders were lumped together in a pool of sharks and barracudas tearing at one another. Bloody. In the end, the treasury bled and bled. We could no longer fund the bazaar. And here we are.
As I was saying, the present situation followed the old pattern. Marketers launched a push for their money; the government replied with some pussyfooting around the matter and then senior oil workers threatened to go on strike. A great show of pacification began. By the time oil workers shelved their plan after much persuasion, a petrol scarcity had forced its way in.
The NNPC hit the old, weary path of explaining the landing cost of petrol (N171.40 per litre), freight cost and all that. It spiced it up with the smuggling theory, stressing how our petrol has become smugglers’ favourite. They are attracted to it as bees to honey. Of course, there is also the extenuation of how a long, endless stretch that is our border can’t be policed. But, said the oil giant, a month’s reserve was sitting pretty in the depots. Besides, ships were on their way with petrol. We relaxed.
Obviously enraged, those behind the scarcity – we may never know them, as usual – pressed the throttle harder. Petrol price hit N400 a litre. Filling stations shut down. Some opened in the dead of the night. One mounted a big pipe from its storage to the back of its filling station, dispensing the stuff at its own price. Many had been fleeced before the bubble burst. Black marketers seized the roads, making brisk business. Travel plans were shattered.
Marketers returned to the fray. They said banks were after their property for not repaying their loans, the fate of their legion of workers was hanging in the balance and their depots were empty. They could no longer raise the cash to fund imports and NNPC had become the sole importer of petrol.
The NNPC fought back yesterday, accusing Depot and Petroleum Products Marketers Association (DAPPMA) members of owing the Petroleum Products Marketing Company (PPMC) N26.7b.
Now that the message seems to have hit the right target, there seems to be some respite – in some cities.
Why do we have to go through this cycle of anguish every year? Who are the big masqueraders behind the yearly scarcity? Why are marketers whose debts have been verified not paid? What is the state of our troubled refineries? Are DAPPMA members right to blame it all on the NNPC – if it is true their members are owing the PPMC N26.7b? Why has this problem become part of us? Is corruption fighting back (pardon the “cliché”)? Why has the crash in oil price not reflected in petrol price? Will the oil sector ever get it right? Will anybody get punished for this?
Trust Nigerians. Amid the despair, they found time to crack some ribs in the social media. There is the picture of a young man with a puffy face. His eyes are shut. His lips are swollen. He cuts a pitiable picture of a hit-and-run driver’s victim The caption: “I shouted ‘sai Baba’ at a filling station.”
A car with the hash tag “I stand with Buhari” is being filled from a jerry can on the street. That drew some bitter comments from people who do not think the administration has done well. Of course, Buhari’s admirers picked up the gauntlet and gave it to them in equal measure.
A 50-litre black jerry can of fuel is spruced up – ribbons and all – and presented as one of the items demanded for the bride price at a wedding.
But the biggest comical relief of all did not seem to have worked. The Presidency had announced that a documentary on the soft side of the President would be aired on television. Some counselled that the timing was not right. Others asked how television sets would be powered to watch the documentary, considering the fact that public electricity remained unstable and fuel was scarce. The show went on. Then, the criticisms started pouring in–in torrents.
Human side? Who has said the President is inhumane? How has this shown the President’s “human side”? Isn’t this a mere show of loyalty and panegyric on the aides’ relationship with the President? Where are his jokes? Is this the best way to tell the world that our President has a remarkable sense of humour? Where is the witty President who sent us reeling – and furious – with “my wife belongs to the kitchen, my living room and the other room”.
When former Vice President Atiku Abubakar quit the All Progressives Congress (APC), Buhari dismissed it all in a jocular manner. He told party Chairman John Odigie-Oyegun: “I learnt that one of your prominent members resigned. Please, accept my sympathy.”
There you have it: a parallel between former President Olusegun Obasanjo’s “I dey laugh o” when told that Atiku was planning to run. Buhari even poked fun at himself when he flashed that gap tooth, smiled and said: “I know people call me Baba Go-slow.”
How has His Excellency reacted to any major calamity? Has he ever shed tears? How did he feel when his health became a challenge? What are those situations in which the soldier in him could give way?
The documentary and the fuel crisis were not the only hallmark of what many have referred to as a dull Yuletide. The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) said it was investigating how $48,485,127 was diverted at the Nigeria Social Insurance Trust Fund (NSITF) when Dr Ngozi Olojeme was chairman. A court granted the agency’s request to detain Mrs Olojeme for two weeks after which it plans to take her to court. Mrs Olojeme reportedly denied all the allegations against her and swore to defend her integrity in court.
Then the EFCC claimed to have recovered 38 houses, which it believed belong to her. Before one could scream “incredible”, a court said she should temporarily forfeit the houses – until the matter is decided. We are holding our breath.
Before we could make any sense of the EFCC-Olojeme matter, another story of graft on a gargantuan scale had grabbed the headlines. Some of former President Goodluck Jonathan’s aides are said to have shared N27b Power Holding Company of Nigeria (PHCN) sales proceeds. The cash, it was reported, was meant for insurance premiums of disengaged PHCN staff. The matter is in court.
Apparently shocked by the irrational behaviour of some of our leaders, the Emir of Kano, Muhammadu Sanusi, recommended that they should be tested for drug abuse. He spoke at a roundtable on “drug abuse epidemic in Nigeria”, organised by the Senate in Kano.
Hours after the Kano talks, a video hit the social media. A senator in a simple “buba” and “sokoto”, a tray of groundnuts perching on his head, hawking on a busy street. He persuades motorists to buy his groundnuts. Dear reader, there is no prize for guessing who the senator-hawker is.
I support the Emir. Some of our leaders need to be weaned off drug abuse. By the way, where is Senator Dino Melaye (Kogi West)? He should raise a point of order for a matter of national importance.
So much for an exciting Yuletide.
Again, Honours 2017
By popular demand, we continue today to honour those compatriots whose actions have contributed to our collective wellbeing, lest they feel disenchanted to do more in the new year.
Hajiya Aisha “Mama Taraba” Alhassan would easily have snatched away the trophy for Minister of the Year, considering her courage and forthrightness in speaking truth to power. But, the trophy isn’t hers.
Take a bow, Honourable Minister of Youth and Sport Solomon Dalung . He knows his beat like the back of his palm. He recently said the Super Eagles qualified for the World Cup without conceding a goal. Besides, said the minister, our stars do not need to train overseas to do well. Told of the decaying National Stadium in Abuja, Dalung said, “but we have repaired the swimming pool in Sportscity, Surulere, Lagos”.
Despite the harsh criticisms of his mode of dressing – some said he looks like an excited door man; others said he dresses like a Civil Defence recruit awaiting his first set of uniforms – Dalung soldiers on. He is Minister of the Year.
Abdulrasheed Maina, the Pension Task Force Team boss, was fired and declared wanted for alleged misappropriation of funds running into billions. He went into hiding. He suddenly returned, got reinstated and promoted – to the consternation of all. There was outrage. President Muhammadu Buhari moved in. He fired Maina and ordered a probe. Maina has disappeared again. When will he return?
No doubt, Maina is Civil Servant of the Year.
An unnamed girl is said to have stolen $40,000 from the Abuja office of the Nigeria Football Federation (NFF). She reportedly handed the cash to money doublers. How did an intern have access to the NFF’s vaults? Has the cash been recovered.
It is incontrovertible; the unnamed girl is Intern of the Year.
