Category: Columnists

  • Revisiting polytechnic education in Nigeria (1)

    Revisiting polytechnic education in Nigeria (1)

    At the instance of the new Minister of Education, Dr. Tunji Alausa, and with the sponsorship of TETFund, the Chairpersons of Nigeria’s Federal Polytechnics met recently in Calabar for four days (February 9-14) in a brainstorming retreat. The dual goal of the retreat was to discuss the problems facing polytechnic education in the country and to recommend possible solutions. It also afforded the exchange of ideas and social networking among the Chairpersons.

    Their findings are implicit in their recommendations, which were summarised in a comprehensive communique, reported by various newspapers after the retreat. However, the newspaper reports only regurgitated the contents of the communique, without discussing them. Besides, in the typical tradition of Nigerian newspaper reporting, there has been no followup. This article attempts to fill both gaps.

    As expected, the major recommendations of the communique cover: (1) funding; (2) curriculum; (3) supervision; (4) infrastructure; and (5) security

    Funding

    Perhaps the most significant factor behind the fall in educational standards in Nigeria’s federal educational institutions is inadequate and irregular funding. This is especially true of polytechnic education, where less than half of approved capital budget is often released, thus making it difficult to maintain existing structures or pay contractors for ongoing construction, not to speak of embarking on new projects. The result is the abandonment of numerous projects as elsewhere in the country. As if this were not enough, delays in releasing subventions translates to delays in releasing funds for overhead expenses and the payment of salaries.

    Right from the inception of polytechnic education in this country, the emphasis has been on the development of necessary skills and competencies that would prepare the students for appropriate job placement. This also has been the reason for recent emphasis on entrepreneurial skills that would prepare the students to initiate some business or some trade after graduation. Unfortunately, however, this desire has not been backed up by the necessary funds for the polytechnics. Hence the call by the Chairpersons to the government to set aside special funds for skills development so that a key goal of polytechnic education could be attained.

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    Although not expressed in the communique, it will be very helpful if the federal government could allow the polytechnics to keep and use tuition fees collected from their students as this is the main source of Internally Generated Revenue for these institutions, especially those created within the past five years. Asking under-resourced institutions to remit as much as half of tuition fees collected to the federal government amounts to double jeopardy.

    Nevertheless, credit must be given to the government for TETFund’s release of funds to federal institutions for special projects, staff training, and attendance at conferences. It is also TETFund that provides the seed money for newly established federal institutions. It must be emphasised, however, that the fund does not come directly from the federal budget but from two percent of the taxes collected from the profit of companies registered in Nigeria. True, TETFund was set up by the federal government to arrest the deterioration in educational infrastructure caused by years of poor resource allocation. Nevertheless, TETFund cannot, and should not, replace the government’s responsibility to the institutions it established. This is the essence of the Council Chairs’ call to the federal government for more and regular funding to the polytechnics.

    Curriculum

    A comprehensive review of polytechnic curricular offerings in all disciplines is long overdue in order to align them with current technological realities and ensure that they meet the needs of the Nigerian job market. Another important reason for curricular review is the pending legislation in the National Assembly to equate HND with a university degree, by awarding a Bachelor of Technology (B.Tech) to successful candidates. If future HND holders are to just the elevation of their degree to a university degree, then some knowledge equivalent is warranted.

    My experience with the polytechnic graduates I have hired has led me to question their knowledge and even that of their teachers. One had an OND in statistics but could hardly do simple computations, not to speak of basic statistical analysis. Another had HND also in statistics but had no idea of the meaning and uses of basic statistical terms, such as mean, variance, and probability. Worse still, she could not even make sense of an opinion poll done by my company after the data were coded and analysed, although she took part in data collection. It was not surprising, therefore, when, in another study along Oke-Aro street in Akure, I discovered that a number of the women petty traders, selling soft drinks, fruits, and roasted plantain or corn, were polytechnic graduates. One of them said she took the decision to start selling foodstuff after looking for a job unsuccessfully for over six years.

    In engaging in any curricular review, it will not be enough for the National Board of Technical Education to do so in Kaduna or Abuja, without involving experienced past and present polytechnic faculty.

    Supervision

    At present, the supervision of the polytechnics is done by the NBTE, which currently supervises 787 institutions throughout the country. The polytechnics are the apex of these institutions. However, because the NBTE is overburdened, the polytechnics have been left to be preyed upon by other arms of government.

    As a result, various ministries, departments and agencies of government and numerous committees of the National Assembly devolve on the polytechnics or summon their Rectors (and sometimes, their entire management team) to Abuja for one reason or the other. It would have been great if these visitations and summons resulted in improvements in the quality of polytechnic education or their funding. On the contrary, their goal has been extortion of the meagre resources of these institutions. I drew attention to this unwholesome practice in an earlier article (see Repositioning TVET in Nigeria, The Nation, February 5, 2025).

    In order to correct this anomaly, the Committee of Chairpersons recommended the establishment of a Polytechnics Commission at par with the National Universities Commission with similar functions. Indeed, the polytechnics have been asking for such a Commission for quite some time.

    However, the current bill before the National Assembly on awarding a B. Tech degree to HND holders should require the National Universities Commission to supervise the HND programme in order to maintain parity with other university degrees, while the NBTE should be left only with the OND programme. Nothing should prevent the NBTE from imitating the NUC practice of employing reputable polytechnic teachers along with the NBTE staff in carrying out the evaluation and quality assurance of the OND programme.

    I am aware that many Polytechnic Rectors support the establishment of a Commission for their institutions. However, their demand seems to come more from frustration with the NBTE than from anything else. Nevertheless, I am not sure that the solution they need is more bureaucracy.

    •To be concluded next week

  • Christie Ade-Ajayi @ 95; 180m books?

    Christie Ade-Ajayi @ 95; 180m books?

    Mama Christie Aduke Ade-Ajayi nee Martins, born March 13, 1930 is 95 years young and active. Congratulations and Praise God. She is a pioneer children’s author, early childhood education doyen and champion of education, still directing a home library. If Nigeria had implemented her work regarding the quality and quantity of materials, staffing and personnel at ‘Child and Teacher Friendly Classroom’ kindergarten and primary school level, we would have 18 million more willing children in school and not sadly 18m ‘Out of School’ children today.

    Nigerian governments ignored experts telling politicians, at useless expensive repetitive outcome education summits, the truth and bullet points, but the politicians with a pathological hatred for educational development, rarely listen. They keep the youth ignorant as servants and rabble for rent.  Nigeria has 5% of budget for education.

    Notice ‘International’ kindergarten and primary schools in name only.

    Mama Christie Ade-Ajayi made a very comprehensive and formidable education team with her husband, the titan of history, Emeritus Professor JF Ade Ajayi who was also the third vice chancellor of University of Lagos.

    Government can best honour the works of Nigeria’s past educationists and writers by making their work readily available and  implementing time-tested worldwide applicable but neglected policies and keeping alive their ideas and books. Fortunately, the University of Ibadan Archives and maybe the University of Ibadan Library among other libraries should have copies of most, if not all, ‘ancient and modern’ books published by Nigerians and on Nigeria.

    The personal treasure trove libraries of many great past academics and citizens have been donated as ‘Family Legacy Projects’ to the universities, especially the University of Ibadan.

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    Sadly, due to space constraints and budgetary, interdepartmental, interfaculty conflict, not all donated libraries will ‘see the light of day’ unless accompanied by an endowment for creating dedicated bookshelf display sections and maintenance costs from the donor families adding to the cost of the gifted library. However, such monetary donations can disappear like the books. Nowhere, even university, is corruption free.

    In short, the books of most donated libraries may rot and be food for silverfish, in the cartons they arrived in. Even sending books to one’s old school faces a similar fate. Immorally, we have more than one generation of students, ‘book-fiends’, not a typo for ‘friends’, with a modus operandi of tearing pages out of journals and books.  ‘Page tearers’ never care about other readers.

    Even as we praise the preservation of ‘ancient donated libraries’, we lament the almost uniform absence of ‘modern libraries and library renewal budgets’ throughout our public education system struggling against an unfriendly budget which cannot accommodate books for the children and teachers but can accommodate jeeps and perks for thousands of advisors, special assistants, commissioners and ministers even of education.          

    An old book can still be a bold good ‘new’ book to read. A book you have not read, no matter how old, is a new book to your brain, unchartered waters. Ask why the world never lost sight of Shakespeare and others who annually ‘Must-Be-Read’ worldwide? It was British Empire government board room policy, a deliberate dissemination ‘sacred’ policy, not of the dead Shakespeare, his dead family or his dead publisher, but by serial governments, trans-party, to propagate the name and fame on Shakespeare and his pedigree of writers, trans-centuries.

    But in Nigeria, publishers sometimes sadly have to pay to even get on book lists for schools. There is little attention in Nigeria to practice promotional policies for Nigerian writers. How many students actually read Nobel Laureate Soyinka? Disgraceful! No Soyinka or writers’ policy. But when Soyinka passes, we will kill 300 mourning cows for suya but buy no Soyinka books for schools. We all know British Nursery Rhymes and children’s stories. But how many Nigerian children have read Mama Christie’s books Ade, our naughty little brother, Akin goes to school, Ali’s bicycle, Emeka’ dog, Which way, Amina? which would make interesting children’s reading today?

    Perhaps the family will compile the Complete Works of Christie Ade Ajayi for children. The children can read a 600-page Harry Potter Books, so, a few stories in one book should not be a problem.       

    When you corrupt education, you kill your country, you corrupt the mind and actions of teachers and corruptly stunt children mentally for life.

    Nigerian governments at all levels should to use the generic academic, teacher and student education descendants of the Mama Christie and Emeritus Professor Ade Ajayi to defuse the time bomb of 18million ‘Out Of School’ ‘Army’ growing up uneducated, blaming their suffering and conflicts on deliberately negligent political educational and budgetary policies, or lack of policies, of almost all past governments to date.

    We are yet to see decisive three-tier government ‘Emergency Education Action’ collectively to harness this massive opportunity to empower and educate the 18,000,000 with 180m+ books for today’s Out of School children to become integrated and empowered to become tomorrow’s creative youth and next week’s productive selfless leaders. Rather that, than an army of destruction. Of course, education is no guarantee of goodness or good sense. It is a right of a child. 

    Let us not kill an academically strangled Nigeria. If jeeps are for every National Assembly, NASS member, then quality education is for every Nigerian child. Leave not one of the 18m ‘Out of School children’ behind or you create a monster that will kill all the skill in Nigeria. Universal education is worth more than 200 universities and 18m OOS children.       

  • Rivers State and her fair-weather friends

    Rivers State and her fair-weather friends

    There has been no dull moment in Rivers State since 2023 when Siminialayi Fubara upon inauguration chose to fight his own government. But with the Supreme Court’s February 28 declaration that there has been no government in Rivers in the last two years, in spite of all the drama, including bombing of the assembly complex, conducting LGA election in defiance of court order, and presentation of budget to a three-man assembly, we now know all have been noise without substance or ‘a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing’ (William Shakespeare).

     No thanks to Rivers fair weather friends led by the likes of Ikenga Ugochinyere, an Imo member  of the House of Representatives, who today claims to speak on behalf of opposition lawmakers coalition in the House. His undefined mission during most of his N6.5m one-hour “news commercialization’ appearances, seems to be targeted at further destabilization of PDP or prolonging the nightmare of people of Rivers State. Of course, we also have sympathisers of Labour and PDP in borrowed toga of Arise TV journalists whose motive for fighting Fubara’s war like a slave is Wike, his estranged impetuous and abrasive godfather.

    Fubara by virtue of the February 28 Supreme Court ruling had an opportunity to dig himself out of the hole. President Tinubu’s call on him to stoop to conquer because ‘compromise is democracy’s highest badge of honour was another chance. Fubara however chose to keep huffing and bluffing because of backing by meddlers like Ugochinyere and Arise TV. Last Thursday, the former gave vent to this by first taking an hour slot of “news commercialisation” in TVC and later the same day in Arise platform to embark on his usual monologue.

     And what did he fritter the N6.5m on? The assembly’s alleged intention to seek court order to stop the conduct of the local government and, the assembly’s plan to amend the Rivers Independent Electoral Commission law.

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    It is sad Fubara thinks some windbags from outside his state love his state more than the state’s elected lawmakers who by the way, do not need permission of interlopers to make laws.

    And as for Arise TV, its last Thursday’s analysis of Wike’s Wednesday chat with some journalists was a disservice to journalism. There were misrepresentation of facts, outright lies, odious comparisons and an attempt to set the Ijaw nation against other nationalities in the Niger Delta region.

    First, Arise TV along with Jake Epelle, their invited quest, agreed that Governor Fubara has been thoroughly humiliated, ridiculed and dishonoured because of his humility. They all agreed Fubara needs to become more Machiavellian since his humility has become a burden. They declared with shocking finality, that Tinubu was behind the crisis in Rivers even without proof.

    They falsely claimed Rivers House of Assembly locked out the governor. How do you lock out someone who was not being expected? Governor Fubara himself confirmed he was on a road show or out to play to the gallery by branching at the assembly quarters when he was scheduled to commission some projects in Okirika at 10am. He left with the following parting words “maybe they are still working on the letter and will later get in touch with me”.

    On impeachment, it was unfair to impute meaning to what Wike said in an answer to Arise TV question. He had said impeachment which is enshrined in our constitution is not criminal and that heaven will not fall if anyone who committed impeachable offence is impeached. In any case, if anyone slammed with impeachment charges is a good politician, he will know what to do, he added.

    It was also pure mischief to give the impression that Wike was disrespectful of the Ijaw nation during the chat. In fact what can be taken away from what he said was that those making threat to destroy pipelines are politicians in government; that Ijaw whose sons including Tompolo secured the contract to protect the oil pipelines cannot at the same time be threatening to blow off the pipeline. He said people should stop arrogating power to blow off the pipelines only to Ijaw as other groups within the Niger Delta are also capable of doing the same.

    The fact that the Ijaw national body has denounced the Ijaw Youths making such reckless statement seem to have vindicated Wike’s claim that such threats were planted by politicians in government

    I am not sure the issues of the population of Ijaw nation, the fourth largest group in Nigeria was the focus of discussion. Wike’s reference to Ijaw during the media chat was to the effect that except in Balyelsa State, the Ijaw nation does not constitute a majority in Akwa Ibom, Delta, and Rivers; that in the spirit of live and let live, he and some illustrious Ijaw elders agreed the gubernatorial ticket should be ceded to Ijaw in 2023. Arise TV only demonstrated its partisanship by exhibiting such  disdain for Wike who they said does not know Ijaw constitutes the fourth largest population because of what they attributed to his academic deficit!

    Finally, attempt by Arise TV to draw a parallel between the tragic mismanagement of our crisis of nation-building by President Nnamdi Azikiwe and Prime Minister Tafawa Balewa which led  to the collapse of the first republic and current crisis in  Rivers where an elected governor is at war with an arm of his government is borne out of mischief.

    And what are the facts?

    S. L. Akintola, the Premier of Western Region was legally removed by his party, a decision upheld by the Privy Council in London, the highest judicial body at the period. Akintola then sought the help of Zik and Balewa, coalition partners at the centre against his principal.  The duo had been bitter enemies of the West out of envy for her giant strides and for leading the battle for the creation for the Calabar-Ogoja-Rivers (COR) and Middle Belt states from the east and the north respectively.

    Zik and Balewa, who did not see the need to declare state of emergency in the east or in the north where Isaac Boro’s Niger Delta Uprising and Tiv’s popular uprising had to be suppressed by the military, illegally declared state of emergency in the West because a few NCNC member started throwing chairs just as vote of confidence was about to be passed on Adegbenro by the Western House as enshrined in the constitution. (Premiers Ahmadu Bello and Okpara had earlier breached the constitution by their refusal to recognize Adegbenro).

    The first victim of the state of emergency was Awo who was detained in mosquito-infested Lekki while Akintola who had been constitutionally removed and Fani-Kayode of NCNC were imposed as Premier and deputy premier of Western region by Balewa and Zik.

    In breach of constitutional provision which disallowed the centre from interfering in the affairs of the regions, Zik and Balewa decided to probe the administration of Western Region between 1952 and 1962. At the end Awo was indicted and  accused of theft while his deputy who single-handedly controlled the affairs of the region from 1959 was let off the hook because he served as the prosecution witness.

    To ensure Awo will be too old to ask how Nigeria was being run by the time he gets out of prison, he was slammed with  treasonable charges which provided an excuse for Zik and Balewa, the coalition leaders, to send Awo and his colleagues to 10 years imprisonment.

    The Yoruba waited patiently for the 1964 Western Regional election to liberate themselves but Fani-Kayode publicly swore he and Akintola would win the election whether the people voted for them or not. Zik and Balewa, as coalition leaders, went on to massively rig the 1964 election in favour of their stooges – Akintola and Fani-Kayode.

    It was at this point the people of the West resolved that ‘those who sowed the wind must reap the whirlwind’. Violence, code-named “Operation wet e” broke out with dead bodies littering major streets of major towns in Yoruba land. The battle was against those Yoruba identified as traitors.

    We cannot trivialise the above historical facts by attempting to draw a parallel between it and Fubara’s self-inflicted 2023 crisis when he blindly decided to fight his own government. And except for those engaged in mischief to give a false narrative of our past history, there is no basis to compare Zik and Balewa’s malevolent handling of Western Region crisis with President Tinubu’s handling of Fubara’s disagreement with an arm of his government.

    President Tinubu did what a statesman should do by making Fubara sign a truce with the warring members of an arm of his government in the presence of Rivers elders. If he breached his undertaking, it was because he, as an office holder, who does not know that in a democracy, rulers rule but others dictate the tune, allowed himself to be misled by Arise TV and non-politicians in politics who probably do not know better.

  • Of gathering and scattering

    Of gathering and scattering

    Gathering and scattering, as good or bad, night or day, perch on diametrically opposed spots in life’s long continuum.

    Still politicians, since the dislodgment of PDP from federal power in 2015, would rather scatter to have a crack at power, than gather to consolidate policies and programmes.

    Nasir el-Rufai, former Kaduna governor and, before him, Salihu Lukman, famed ex-APC contrarian, have just validated that trend.  But that’s perfectly democratic.

    The ruling APC can’t expect its opponents not to dream that whatever hubris struck PDP, which earned it fair banishment into the Siberia of power, wouldn’t strike APC too.

    Still, this scattering is often a swashbuckling “me-too” complex.  It’s scalding emotion to strafe the ruling order, and willy-nilly bomb it down.

    But back to el-Rufai and Lukman, the twin-totems of this latest excitement en route to Sweepstakes ‘27.

    In his APC last days, el-Rufai sounded every inch a party puritan — again, no crime: indeed, a democratic virtue! — alleging the ruling APC had left the rocket that propelled it to power to rust and rot.

    Lukman too had played that same role, when el-Rufai, as glorious Kaduna governor, had easy access to President Muhammadu Buhari, as informal golden son — the he, who must be obeyed or, in any case, be indulged!

    Lukman excoriated his felt neglect of the ruling party, by its ruling elite. It was the lone voice, of the sole party puritan, shrieking in the wilderness! 

    Even, with the Bola Tinubu order, he had levied that same charge, primarily for making Abdullahi Ganduje (North West) APC chairman, to replace Abdullahi Adamu (North Central).  It was one Abdullahi replacing another.  But Lukman felt the new APC chair should have come from Adamu’s zone for party balance — hardly illogical!

    That was Lukman’s high horse, until he declared he was opting out of APC.  But if he loved APC that much, and pushed without let for its wellbeing, why his present rabid push to unhorse the party from power?  Gathering and scattering!

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    On his own, el-Rufai railed and huffed, scowled and growled, against the alleged neglect of the party, and accused President Tinubu of running a one-man show.

    But he didn’t attend the APC national caucus meeting, maybe called at last because of his constant hectoring.  A day or two later, he declared he had resigned from APC for the Social Democratic Party (SDP) to wrest federal power.  Gathering and scattering!

    Not a few nettle el-Rufai that his alleged bitterness, for not making Tinubu’s cabinet, self-bungled him out of APC. 

    But beyond political “yabis” (Fela-pidgin-speak for high-wire banter), why would el-Rufai, virtually in government since 1999, sans the Umaru Yar’Adua/Goodluck Jonathan years, be embittered because of missing yet another ministerial slot?

    Perhaps, he felt more betrayed by his native Kaduna APC?  As Adams Oshiomhole virtually strapped Godwin Obaseki to his back, to sell as governor to the Edo electorate, el-Rufai also backed Uba Sani, to sell as next Kaduna governor. 

    Yet, el-Rufai’s Kaduna legacy, which he expects protégée Sani to guard and protect, has been rubbished. Governor Sani though, has refused to speak ill of his benefactor. 

    But between active ungratefulness a la Obaseki, preening and rippling, and the passive ingratitude of Uba Sani, which rankles more?  Perhaps all of these scalded el-Rufai’s restive and hurt soul!

    But whatever the reasons for his SDP gambit, and the Lukman manic rally for a united opposition to unhorse the party both laboured to build, the two gentlemen would appear to labour under the notorious complex of “it’s either my way, or the highway”!

    Again, that’s no democratic crime.  The masses don’t change the society.  Only the critical mass does.  But that critical mass requires a huge dose of courage and daring.

    The snag, though: between healthy daring and hare-brained gambit, there is but a thin line.  The one harvests a political after-life, of which President Tinubu is living proof.  The other crops political death-at-dawn!

    So, which have el-Rufai and Lukman chosen?  Verdict ‘27 looms!  Gathering and scattering!

    Former President Olusegun Obasanjo just weighed-in, in this mid-term politics of movement without motion, with his customary traducement of others, to bury own rot, as two-term elected president.

    Now Obasanjo’s public essence is rot, though he loves to posture as some Pope worthy of emulation. But from his records, nothing is farther from the truth.

    Still, he over-reached  himself this time, claiming PMB’s was the most corrupt tenure in Nigerian history.  Definitely, in his avid ardour to perjure others, senility has set in?

    You feel that portraiture is unfair?  Take a trip to Laderin, in Abeokuta, Ogun State.  Obasanjo that gamed the polity for “donation” as sitting president, to build a personal shrine; and PMB that built the Wole Soyinka train station for everyone, in a season of acute adversity, which of the two is grandmaster of corruption?

    PMB, a far junior officer that gives Obasanjo due honour, despite the Owu chief’s un-elderly tantrums, has taught his old commander-in-chief the ABC of decorum in and out of office.  While Obasanjo’s OOPL oozes the self-settlement rule of Obasanjo’s presidency, PMB’s many infrastructural revamp continue to serve millions of Nigerians. 

    Still speaking of bad-mouthing: Obasanjo also tried to thumb-down Tinubu’s critical infrastructure, as the Lagos-Calabar coastal expressway, with a rail section to boot.  Pray, which rail or road infrastructure did Obasanjo deliver in his eight years of self-distraction?

    But Works Minister, David Umahi, already gave a fitting riposte: the nay-party, with their negative hubbub, should stay off that highway when completed!  Spite can’t obviate the sweetness of honey!

    Still, President Tinubu (PBAT) has his job cut out for him, in his race against time, to beat the naysayers to the 2027 tape, give inflation a red eye and win over the masses.

    A brief PBAT-PMB comparison.  PBAT, a natural progressive, has chosen neo-liberal tactics to drive his reforms.  PMB is a natural conservative.  Yet, he adopted more socio-democratic methods during his tenure.

    But both, no matter their tactics, have made greater strides in infrastructure — far more than the PDP years.  Indeed, despite Tinubu’s neo-liberal pains, he is implanting discrete IOUs, in several critical demographics: student loans, the nascent credit culture, and aggressive IT training, to power a prosperous youth segment, etc.

    That’s why Obasanjo is revving up his virulent traducement, ahead of 2027. 

    He attacks critical projects that he knows, if completed, would finally bury him and his presidential mirage — which anyone hardly remembers anyway, but for Obasanjo’s eternal screeching and constant personal nuisance.

    Still, the Tinubu-Aregbesola crisis has been unfortunate.  Noise in regnant circles often demonizes Ogbeni as some traitor and implacable foe to the President. That’s not true.

    Ogbeni’s street value could have better assuaged the masses, than cost-mouthing ministers that seem to alienate them.  What a missed opportunity!

    Still, the electorate must know that those who love to scatter, after helping to gather, often do so for selfish and egoistic reasons. 

    Nigeria’s redemption and sustainable development compass, from all critical facts, appears closer to 2015, than 1999.

  • Still on the Natasha matter

    Still on the Natasha matter

    Surely, if those minding the information committee of the senate couldn’t be accused of having done a particularly stellar job of effectively containing the minor stirring in the teacup that has now assumed a threatening conflagration in Nigeria’s upper legislative chamber, perhaps even worse could be said about those managing the image of the man in the eye of the storm in the wake of the so-called Natashagate.

    Thanks to Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, the senator from Kogi Central for teaching her colleagues a thing or two on how the spin works; it seems to me a new day in which emotions and artful manipulation will coalesce to deliver sellable, irresistible, but sizzling  narrative about sex in high places. With Akpabio’s corner on virtual AWOL, should we still be asking how things have turned beyond ugly to potentially irredeemable embarrassment?

    It may well be that politicians wouldn’t be what they are without their uncanny ability to muddle up facts, to twist and then proceed to foist their specious interpretation of reality on the rest of the orderly society. But that the enlightened society – particularly those who, by their orientation, are supposed to be chroniclers of truth, would join the politicians in marketing devious narratives for some narrow, partisan ends can only be described as the ultimate tragedy.  

    Yes, it’s been weeks since Nigerians were treated to the drama on the floor of the senate. At this time, it is doubtful if there is any Nigerian still in confusion about the sequence of the events that took place- the only probable exception being the usual tribe – the hordes of conflict entrepreneurs who seek to make a capital of what is actually no more than a hare-brained delinquency.

    Then, a senator, the chief whip, with the name Mohammed Tahir Monguno, had risen to raise some observations on the conduct of a certain senator in refusing to proceed to the seat allotted to her following some changes in sitting arrangement. He then proceeded to read from the senate red book as if to clear any doubt that the exercise was anything extraordinary. Citing the authority of the presiding officer as captured in the book, the distinguished senator from Borno had reminded all that the exercise was entirely the prerogative of the senate president.

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    Thereafter, Akpoti-Uduaghan, against whom the complaint was made jumped to her feet –claiming her authority from the same book. The problem was that the presiding officer would have her know that she could only validly raise her matter of privilege from the seat allotted to her!

    There was no suggestion that the privilege would be denied her; only that the rules of the chamber required that she speak from her allotted seat, which she apparently thought was not photogenic enough! What followed was hell literally let loose in the chamber with the now out-of-control senator daring the authority of the institution and that of its leader.

    That was the drama – a very shameful one – that Nigerians saw on ‘live’ television. The story of a senator being required to leave the chamber for unruly behaviour is one that Nigerians should not forget in a hurry!

    Worse however was to come.  Next stop was Berekete Radio, a station which, for its famed notoriety, could neither be accused of good judgment nor sound ethical practice. The station, in a rather strange twist to the event that was then gathering steam, and in a series of follow-ups that could only have been well choreographed, placed a call to Senator Akpoti-Uduaghan, requesting for her account of the events on the floor of the senate. If that part of the drama could be described as entertaining, no less intriguing is the barely disguised spin designed to whip emotions against the yet-to-be-heard number three citizen, who, moments later, would be summoned to the live programme without formal notice or invitation!!

    Even that singular act of putting the senate on the spot was just as terrible.

    Now, a lot has happened since to give Nigerians enough to chew. From high-octave TV appearances that seek to supply ample flesh to shadows in the absence of substance, to court cases that appear designed to inject life into the matter while it lasts. Of particular note is the narrative of sexual harassment, whose particulars have remained the petitioner’s best kept secret, well timed to whip supporters into frenzy. Not only has the latter trended, but has trumped everything else even when Nigerians have not been availed a scintilla of proof!

    To our hordes of street jurors, nothing about the contemptible treatment of the highest law-making body by a member would seem to matter. Nothing of the carefully laid out procedures of the ethics and privileges committee designed to guarantee fair and expeditious hearing can make sense. In the eyes of those cheering her on, the senate, not the particular individual sworn to drag the individual into the cesspit and who, as it turns out, is yet to familiarise herself with the rules of the institution in which she claims to represent the good people of Kogi Central, is the one that erred!

    Little wonder the part of the bizarre narrative that the senate subordinates its rules to the whims of gender activists on the whiff of mere allegations by asking the senate president to step down!  Talk of the lone warrior making good with her voluble, fit-for-camera activism even when her understanding of the simple rules of the institution in which she is privileged to serve is utterly suspect!

    The above narrative is the one on the verge of being buried by the lynch mob in the specious narrative in which Senator Akpabio and the distinguished members of the Upper House are being cast in the image of Lucifer and his fallen angels. As for the individual who desecrated the hallowed chambers of the senate, broke protocols, defied her country’s foremost institution, and thought little of dragging the entire nation to that global body – the Inter-Parliamentary Union – to settle personal scores, I can hear some Nigerians demanding her being asked to go and sin no more, if only to prove how gender-friendly our parliament is!

    That is where we are at the moment. Who knows whether her next stop will be the office of the United States president, Donald Trump? Or even the United States senate. Who says there are limits to such unbridled delinquency by our pampered, over-fed elite?  Whichever way things turn out, that date February 20, seems unlikely to be forgotten by Nigerians in a hurry.

  • El-Rufai and Fubara: Accidental politicians?

    El-Rufai and Fubara: Accidental politicians?

    When Mallam Nasir El-Rufai referred to himself as an accidental public servant, it resonated with the public, because he approached public service with the mind-set of a private pursuit. A person who works for himself/herself determines what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. But a public servant does not hold all the aces. Public servants are guided by laid down procedures, interests and factors which sometimes are beyond their control. 

    This column recalls that after El-Rufai was propelled by forces to become the Director General of Bureau of Public Enterprise and later Minister of the Federal Capital Territory, he operated substantially as an accidental public servant. As Minister of FCT, Abuja, he cared not whose ox is gored in his single-minded determination to restore Abuja to its original master plan. While his bulldozers roared, those who appointed him were taking the heat and cleaning the fallout mess. 

    To get him to pass through the senate to become minister, former vice president, Atiku Abubakar, who nominated him, had to dye the wool, while El-Rufai was enjoying his night sleep. However, when El-Rufai saw that his godfather and benefactor, Atiku, had fallen out with President Olusegun Obasanjo, he shifted allegiance to the president and that shift allowed him to continue his pursuit of public service with the mind-set of a private person.

    With his intellectual sagacity, El-Rufai was able to endear himself to President Obasanjo, such that he became a member of the inner circle, otherwise called the kitchen cabinet of the president. While not knowledgeable in the crafty nuances of the public service and/or politics, his capacity to deliver on assignments, which served the purpose, shone brightly. So, with his work as the DG of BPE and Minister of FCT, El-Rufai acquired enough reputation to dream dreams and to assert himself.

    When Obasanjo’s successor, President Umaru Yar’Adua showed complete lack of appetite to the idiosyncrasies of El-Rufai, of running with the hare and hunting with the hounds, the accidental public servant saw danger and fled. With Yar’Adua, a scion of the northern oligarchy in power, there was no space for blackmail and shenanigans, and so El-Rufai decided to put his combustible energy to further studies abroad. Hibernating abroad and biding his time, an opening came with the death of Yar’Adua, and the subsequent President Goodluck Jonathan’s bid for a second term.

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    El-Rufai again put forward his sagacious intellect to the service of the emergent coalition of forces which metamorphosed into the All Progressive Congress (APC), the political behemoth that ousted the incumbent president and the candidate of his former party, the PDP. Since he was at the table where the sharing took place, he cornered for himself, Kaduna State as its gubernatorial candidate. With the bandwagon of Sai Baba, El-Rufai, swept into power as Kaduna State governor in 2015; and with the power of incumbency at state and federal levels, coupled with his religious divide and rule tactics, El-Rufai secured a second term in 2019.

    Out of power for merely two years, El-Rufai’s impudence and impatience is once again at play. Angry that President Bola Ahmed Tinubu refused to make him a minister, he has left the APC and has joined the Social Democratic Party (SDP), and is inviting every aggrieved member of APC, PDP and the distraught Labour Party (LP), to join in his new sojourn. Former President Buhari, who learnt the political ropes the hard way, quickly disassociated himself from the gamble.

    Of course, it would amount to political hara-kiri for Atiku Abubakar to accept to become a boy to his former boy (El-Rufai), by agreeing to follow him to his new gamble. The candidate of the Labour Party, Peter Obi, will likely not take the bait considering the mess that El-Rufai as governor made of his relationship with the people of Kaduna south, mainly Christians. Considering the religious bigotry that El-Rufai left behind in Kaduna, which his successor, Uba Sani, with the help of President Tinubu is trying to clean up, with strategic appointments and social reengineering, no farsighted politician will jump ship with El-Rufai.       

    Unlike the time of his being an accidental civil servant when he had employers who were ready and willing to clean the mess he lives behind as his bulldozer rumbled through human and material resources in his political endeavour, in SDP, as he was in Kaduna as governor, he would either clean any mess he rakes up, or it will live with him. Going forward, even his past mess will be stirred by his adversaries and the stench may be quite overwhelming. One major explanation he owes Nigerians is his connection with the killer Fulanis whom he admitted he had paid to stop killing Nigerians, and why despite the bribe, they never stopped.

    The other accidental politician in the public space presently is Governor Siminalayi Fubara of Rivers State. Drafted from his perfunctory civil service duties as an accountant, Fubara was foisted on the highly octane gubernatorial post of the combustible Rivers State. To further compound his challenges, after winning, he immediately entered into a dogfight with his rambunctious former godfather-turned-foe, Nyesom Wike. A political warrior’s warrior, Wike, has shown himself a rancorous marathon fighter with the capacity to deliver upending uppercuts with devastating precisions.

    This column had wondered how Fubara managed to become a governor after he threw away the peace deal President Tinubu had helped him negotiate with Wike. Not only that, he told the president that he was a meddlesome interloper, and he was not obligated to obey his ‘unconstitutional’ peace deal. This column had wondered how Fubara wandered into the government house. Even when the loquacious Wike boasted that he would keep pushing Fubara, to keep making mistakes, like a man afflicted by Cyprian Ekwensi’s sokugo or wandering spirit, Fubara kept stumbling from one error to another.

    When the jungle was merely at its infancy, Governor Fubara naively claimed that the jungle has matured. Now that the Supreme Court has withdrawn the carpets he was standing on to grandstand and boast, he was locked out of ‘his property’ (the state legislative quarters) by the (legislators) he had naively inferred were ‘his tenants’. To show that he is an accidental politician, Fubara made a shameful visit to the estranged legislators, in the daytime, with his sirens blaring and the cameras clicking.

    If Fubara had any modicum of political sagacity, or even reasonable knowledge of history, philosophy, sociology or political science, he would have sent emissaries to make peace behind the scene, before the showboat of the disgraceful lockout. This column hopes Governor Fubara and Mallam El Rufai are not driving political cars without brakes?

  • The first malcontent

    The first malcontent

    It is only in Nigeria that a man like Mallam Nasir El-Rufai can offer a glib lip to the public. In other climes, he will bury his face and weep. After he gave an interview about never joining the PDP, he jumped into an empty shell called the SDP, and he wants the world to shout hurrah.

    Many are looking at his national profile and paying less attention to the effect in his home base of Kaduna. As they say, all politics is local.

    In his home, especially the APC, his defection is seen as a surrender. It is also seen as good riddance. As he left, many are rejoicing while others are calling for accountability. Those not happy include those whose houses he demolished with a bulldozer’s glee. Those he rid of their jobs. Those who want peace but he drove a wedge between Jesus and Mohammed. He coddled the bandits but, on his watch, they plundered, raped and killed.

    What of projects for which billions were allocated but no evidence of work even started? Over 25,000 civil servants retrenched and unpaid? What of chiefdoms taken from people and given over to herdsmen like the Ikulu as Leadership newspaper columnist Simon Musa Reef narrated, or roads neglected like the Kafanchan road where Governor Sani has intervened?

    The markets shut down, and they remained shut down until he left. While he was governor, he demolished shops, and the entrepreneurs are not happy. He sacked teachers, and the mallams of makaranta are not happy, especially after he hired replacement teachers and did not pay them. He gloated openly over the slaughter of Shiites in his state. He did not betray the milk of human sorrow. He could not even pretend. In Southern Kaduna, they accuse him of declaring curfew while the goons rumbled into their homes and huts and grunted afterwards like hyenas of occupation.

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    The local government politicians did not like him. The lawmakers, perhaps except for his son, have nothing but contempt for him. He is perhaps the only governor in the history of this republic that his legislative colleagues instituted a corruption probe on his activities in office. He might call himself a statesman but I don’t give him that flattery. If he accepts the notion that he is a statesman as he deludes himself, then he is a statesman without a state. I had characterized Peter Obi with that epithet once when he lost his party in the state before he lost his state to another party, and he has never gotten it back. PDP is not ruling the roost in Anambra State. Now, as a labour maven, LP is an underling.

    Here is a quote from a press statement by a charity, the Sheikh Dahiru Usman Foundation: “Under El-Rufai’s administration, security forces carried out violent night raids on our Tsangaya schools. They stormed dormitories, brutalized students and staff, and forcibly removed children from their hostels under false pretences. Some of these children remain unaccounted for to this day.” The foundation has given him up to the end of Ramadan to issue an apology. Failing that, they promise to take him to court.

    If El Rufai were an iroko, we would see an earthquake in the state. He left the party like a loner. He is a maverick without a structure. No big-time politician, no crowds cheering him out. No big crowd receiving him into the SDP. Rather the youths of the party have described his coming as the profile of an “undertaker.” They described him as “unfit and morally unqualified.”

    How could he move anything? As governor, he could not deliver Kaduna State for Tinubu. He gulped a mere 29 percent to Atiku’s 40 percent. What did he do for the president to feel entitled to anything in the government? He did not support the incumbent governor, Uba Sani, to be governor, and if the activist did not draw on his own pedigree, his iteration of the APC structure and his grassroots appeal, APC could have lost both gubernatorial and presidential polls in the state. We can see why his leaving did not inspire a squall. There was no comet seen, the ground did not tremble and even the al majiri did not scream or stream the streets.

    Ebenezer Obey sang, “Oyingbo market did not notice that no one came.” In the same token, Kaduna did not notice that anyone left, except for the relief that an irritant is out of their way. They can now sleep without the pesky mosquito on the window sill. He also left as an act of surrender. Having sought the obeisance of the governor and not had it, he accepted that Uba Sani is the numero uno of APC in the state. He had done enough damage. The people have shushed him away like a vagrant goat bleating about in the yard.

    The real noise is grating ears outside Kaduna and on twitter. He has been the nasty bird upsetting the dawn with songs without flavour.  He wants us to forget that he has cases to answer in Kaduna, over his stewardship. He wants us to think he was such a delicious kilishi in the APC. The gourmet meal must be missed. He feels he is such a giant that one has to crane their neck to see him in the room. He is like Nobel Laureate Gunter Grass’ character Oskar, who is small, insecure, peevish and has to scream to be noticed. His screams and all the plates and pictures and furniture have to break, shatter and scatter. He is a public desperado banging his shoes to gain attention. He is Nicodemus except that he believes he has miracles to offer.

    He is not the only disgruntled in the APC. He is just the first to move. He is the first malcontent. He is the Taiwo of defectors. He has been sent to see if the journey is worth it. They will find out, as T.S. Eliot wrote in his A Journey of Magi, that “a hard journey they had of it.” But in Kaduna APC, he is the last malcontent. The party has been disinfected.

    He is a metaphor of a fractious and fractured opposition scrambling for a voice. The thing is, whether it is Obi, or Atiku, or El Rufai, or Kwankwaso and the sundry others clucking in the shadows, they are all wounded men. Rather than heal, they want to fight with their limp hands, groggy feet, bruised eyes. If they come together, we shall have a coalition of the wounded, a battery of the battered. Let’s drink to their health!

  • Mary Slessor’s baby

    Mary Slessor’s baby

    It was my first and last encounter with her. It was virtual, and I wanted the world to see her and hear her before going gentle in that goodnight. Technology abbreviated our connection. The pictures failed, and the voice feeble when it transported across the zoom waves. When it was not feeble, it often tripped off.

    I heard her and took notes, and even recorded some of her sayings. It was good for the notes but not for television. Barely a month after that memorable encounter, Lady Mgbafor Melinda Okereke passed on. She was not a celebrity, but it was because, in Nigeria, we sometimes forget those we should remember and fail to honour those who deserve it. Lady Okereke was a twin, and not just a twin, she belonged to the first generation of twins – or ejima – saved after the scourge of twins that Mary Slessor defined her life by stopping. She was a gentle warrior, a liberator without arms. A paragon of the gospel not as an imperial weapon but as the spirit of the just made perfect.

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    Lady Okereke may be the last of that grateful generation. We can call her the last of Mary Slessor’s babies. Her twin sister Lucy died in 2012. Mgbafor was 94. As she recalled it, when she and lucy were born, Mary Slessor was already dead and buried. She died in 1915. Mgbafor and Lucy were born in 1930, and Slessor’s army of missionaries got wind of them in Arochukwu in today’s Abia State. They were Arnot, McKenneth and Dengham. They quickly rescued them at the Maternity hospital in Arochuckwu and kept them away from the hawks of culture, human birds of twin preys. Achebe captured this in Things fall Apart, but it is a story gaping for champions of narration in literature and history.

    The Scottish women preserved them in hostels and virtually trained them. They only saw their parents during holidays. She attended the Mary Slessor Memorial School, until she finished in standard six. She insisted to me that she did not attend primary school but standard school, which was what they were called until the 1960’s. In gratitude, she and her sister became missionaries and nurses and worked in Kano for a few years but the adventure was discontinued when Nigeria gained independence in 1960. “We were left like sheep without shepherd,” she intoned.

    All the missionaries left the country because they no longer had legitimacy or the permission to operate.

    I asked her if she ever visited Mary Slessor’s grave, she said no, and had no reason for it. She did not know of her rescue until she was 12, and did not know of Slessor until she was 15. As The Nation’s Edozien Udeze reports, fragments of that murderous barbarism still lurk some communities in the country. Mary Slessor is an example of what one person can do to rewrite history. The monuments may exist in schools, hospitals, hostels and churches, the real monument is the transformation of the society from fear to freedom, from bloodthirsty humans to humane.

  • Pious than the Saudis

    Pious than the Saudis

    What point do the four governors who have declared Ramadan holiday want to prove or achieve?

    Ibo la tun wa ja si yi’ literally means where do we find ourselves again? This is a Yoruba expression of shock or surprise at an occurrence or an outcome; that has been popularised on WhatsApp.

    This was the question I asked no one in particular when news broke about two weeks ago that four states, Bauchi, Katsina, Kebbi and Kano, have declared holiday in their public schools to ease the pains of the Ramadan fast on their students.

    The question of how did we get to the point that some state governments would declare Ramadan holiday is both

    poignant and scary. Our country is not yet there. Even countries that are already there are not shutting down their schools simply on account of observing Ramadan.

    None of the excuses given by the state governments for shutting down the schools holds water, at least given the experiences in Muslim countries that are supposedly holier than Nigeria. Muslims there are fasting without shutting down schools.

    It is easy to merely shrug off the decision of the four governors as their individual or collective cup of tea. That governors are at liberty to run their states however they like. But it is not that simple, especially in our kind of country where we must necessarily cross each others’ path in our quest to eke a living or even socialise.

    This is why I, like millions of other Nigerians who have seen the light and importance of Western education are naturally worried. We know we would be affected by some of these choices made or not made now or sometime in the future. Then, we would be told that, as Nigerians, there is freedom for all to move freely and live in any part of the country; a not-too-bad idea if, and only if we are on the same page on many issues. But how can we be on the same page in a country where people who need more than 24 hours a day to catch up with others in education are declaring frivolous holidays in addition to the numerous holidays attached to the school calendar?

    The Boko Haram that we have been fighting since 2009 is a product of this kind of mindset, but we did not seem to see it as a potential time-bomb. For several decades, we chose to see it as a mere religious or cultural matter, until it blew in our faces. Today, the entire country is pumping good trillions of Naira that could otherwise have been spent on more productive things into fighting it.

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     There is a Yoruba proverb that says we should be concerned when our neighbour is eating a particular insect because when he cannot sleep as a result, we too wouldn’t be able to sleep soundly. This is what is happening in these states and we seem to be glossing over it. Given the potential of the four governors’ decision to wreak havoc, we should still be talking about it to see if we can make it the first and last time such a thing would ever happen in those states or elsewhere. Boko Haram and banditry have proved to us enough that the repercussions would not be borne by those states alone when ‘jungle matures’, to borrow the expression of one of our embattled governors. We are living in an interdependent world in which where ‘A’s freedom stops, ‘B’s begins.

    It is policies like this that make true federalism a sine qua non in our kind of country. Inasmuch as states are largely at liberty to pursue policies and programmes that they think are best for their citizens, they must also totally bear the consequences, positive or negative, of those decisions.

    I am sure there won’t be any thought of governors declaring Ramadan holiday if governors were responsible for funding their governments because the first thing that would come into the governors’ minds is, who pays for the man-hours that would be lost to such frivolous holidays? People in the private sector who know they won’t eat if they don’t work can better appreciate the argument here. Those who only wear flowing ‘babariga’ to Abuja every month-end to collect the ready-made handouts may not understand.

    This year, we are somewhat lucky in that both Ramadan and Lent (the Christians 40 days annual fasting in many churches worldwide) are being observed simultaneously. Ramadan started in the evening of February 28 while Lent started on March 5.

    The four states that declared shutdown of their schools can only imagine how ridiculous and unserious the country would have looked in the international community if virtually all schools in the country are shut down so that Nigerians — Christians and Muslims — can fast stress-free! That would have been another low for a country that needs to grab every minute as if it is its last on the development super highway.

    Anyway, may be those who have declared the holiday now would even have wanted us to celebrate the simultaneous observance of the fasting as a blessing in disguise then because it would have saved about 10 days of holiday for the country’s educational system!

    What I am saying is that we would be talking of closing down the schools for a minimum of 55 days in the years that the fasting do not overlap; that is at least 22 days for Ramadan and 33 days for Lent, respectively. If you add these to the myriad other holidays for schools alone – first term, second term and the long third term; first and second semester breaks, etc., not to talk of numerous other annual holidays declared by both the federal and state governments, then how many months do students have to be in school in a country with an acclaimed world record of about 18 million out-of-school children, with many in these states that are declaring holiday for fasting?

    To me, this holiday is just about the most recent retrogressive step that any northern governor would take concerning education in recent times. And, like such steps in the past, it is only a matter of time for it to backfire. Indeed, it is another way of taking education to the back seat, instead of its rightful place as the bedrock of progress and civilisation.

    I stumbled on a report on a repentant Boko Haram terrorist, Fatima Musa, as I was putting this piece together. It is very instructive. Fatima told a community gathering organised by the Allamin Foundation for Peace and Development that “We were deceived in our youth through a misinterpretation of religion, only to later realise that we had gone down the wrong path.

    “I regret tearing up my NCE certificate when I foolishly embraced the distorted belief that Western education was Haram (forbidden),” Fatima said.

    But something must be wrong somewhere: people say Western education is sinful; yet all the tools of terror that they bring to bear in their nefarious activities are products of the same Western education, from bombs to motorcycles, to the helicopters that drop food and ammunition for them in.the forests?

    Be that as it may, fasting is all about denial; it is not a tea party or sallah. Almighty Allah who created people in the north knew about the weather in the place. He knew there would be a preponderance of Muslims there who would want to fast during Ramadan. As a matter of fact, have people in those states not been fasting and going to school simultaneously all these generations? What scientific or empirical evidence do the governors have to show that things are different now and the Ramadan holiday is the solution?

    This was a policy they did without a thought for other stakeholders and they are saying their decision considered the greatest good for the greatest majority. Nigeria’s elites have a way of bastardising virtually everything. Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill who pronounced that theory obviously did not mean it the way the four governors have interpreted it.

    We know that our governors are powerful but they should be considerate in exercising their powers. The four governors that initiated this policy cannot be more pious than the owners of Islam, the Saudis. Mecca, in modern-day Saudi Arabia is considered the home of Islam. It is from this city that the religion spread. Yet, in Saudi, hot as it usually is, they have not declared Ramadan holiday in schools. What they have done is to adapt schedules, shortening hours or offering flexibility, to balance education with religious practice. If that country is developed today, one of the reasons is because it has taken education seriously. It is not

    about bigotry as some of our elite Muslims are won’t to do.

    Why would some governors here try to be more pious than the owners of Islam? Yet, it is not necessarily for Allah. This reminds me of a rather expensive joke cracked by one of our former presidents. Not too long after Sharia was introduced in parts of the north, the former leader saw a northern governor (I can’t remember whether at an airport or an event), and he expressed shock that the governor still had his two hands intact. The former president was referring indirectly to that governor’s legendary propensity for corruption! He was lost as to why Sharia had not taken its toll on the governor’s hands the way it had on a talakawa (Jangedi) that was amputated for stealing a cow!

    The northern religious and political elites must wade into this matter before the cankerworm becomes contagious and other states would see it as a model worthy of emulation. They need to impress it on the respective governors:

    Bala Mohammed (Bauchi), Dikko Radda (Katsina), Nasir Idris (Kebbi) and Abba Yusuf (Kano) that the holiday is an ill-wind that blows nobody any good.

  • SNAPSONG  249 

    SNAPSONG  249 

    March-ing  Song

    The year’s third month

         Has marched in

    Like a punctual pledge

         Its air bristling with February’s fables

    The year’s early rains

         Have touched the roadside brow

    With a timid lover’s kiss

         The grass’s liquid song

    Is brewing on the expectant lawn

         Where, once upon a tale,

    The dust’s brown carpet had risen and fallen

         Like an empire unsure of its fright and flight

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    Still heavy in the wind

         Is the Expired General’s June 12 fabula

    Pious hagiography of a dissembler

         Whose acts undid a nation

    His crowd was large, their pledges appalling

         Billions of naira piled upon bigger billions

    Tributes traded tall tales with tributes

         In a shameless country, incapable of remembering

     March on, dear New Month

         April’s rains are just around the bend

    A nation choked with fabulous filth

         Sighs for breathless atonements