The Nation Newspaper

Category: Columnists

  • Hell Rufai

    Hell Rufai

    Nasir El-Rufai made it a date on television, and he thought he should let us know it was his first interview. It is what media theorists call pseudo-event. An act billed as more than it is really worth. It would have been less than a hype if he had clipped his lips since he left office as Kaduna State helmsman.

    But the voluble fellow has been talking, and he has not stopped. So, it is not new that he granted an interview. He just created a stage in order to ballyhoo. Very soon he will grant another interview. He likes to talk, he likes to hear his voice, he wants to be the tallest person in the building.

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    But what he said in the interview that struck this essayist were two. First, he tried to describe the president as an “area boy” while distinguishing from omoluabi in characterising the nation’s leader. How bitter could one get to reach down to such a nadir of thought and language! The other thing he said was that he was no longer a friend to his successor, Governor Uba Sani. He added NSA Nuhu Ribadu and he implied they are in cahoots to undermine him. Ribadu lashed back, but Governor Sani has always restrained himself, which is a classy way to respond to such a man.

    Now, who is he to speak of friendship? Ask Obj, who was once his friend. In the heydays of their warmth, he knelt to him. He was an obedient public servant, but the kneeling was not accidental. It was a calculated humility. He wanted to stoop to conquer. He eulogized Yar Adua, and knelt. He praised and kneeled for Atiku, kneeled for Buhari. For goodness’ sake, he kneeled for Asiwaju Tinubu. He has turned his back to these guys. So, who wants to be his friend. He thinks being his friend is a prize. Rather it is a price. No one wants to pay. He says he won’t go to PDP. He said the APC has left him. Who would not leave such a man who does not stick to a friend?

  • Our top comedians

    Our top comedians

    Comedy is a cousin of tragedy. When comedy enacts a scene, it is like a traitor in the family. It makes us laugh, but it is often about something sad. I think this way about two characters in our politics today. They are from different geopolitics, although they belong, by coincidence, to the same party.

    Both are the funniest duo in Nigeria today. In politics, that is. Outside politics, the gold card goes to Pastor Odumeje. From the Southwest, the honours go to Governor Ademola Adeleke of Osun State. From Rivers State, Governor Sim Fubara takes a bow. Two events last week puts both men in bold comedic relief.

    In Rivers State, the Supreme Court came down with a hammer on the Rivers State local government polls, and it berates it as illegal. It means all the ceremonies undertaken by the governor, the abuses, the voters register, the lineup of electors, the signing of results, and the jubilations of victory, all of these were what literary critics call burlesque. They were first up there, pumped up as balloons. Then the whole thing came down, burst and great was the sound of justice.

    The top court also said the comedy of a three- or four-man legislature was a farce – my own words. But it affirms the 27-man law chamber. We cannot forget that Fubara underwrote a budget with a sprinkle of men. He set up an executive council  with a few lonely men as lawmakers. He has been plodding along with a mockery of democracy.

    As for Adeleke, it was  about a local government and a demolition. He dissolved the local government, but the courts say he has no right to do so, that the terms of the incumbents have not expired. The court of appeal, that is. Then, with a sense of farce, he goes to a lower court to legitimize his action. The lower court, against all reasonable precedents, grants him order in defiance of the higher court. He goes ahead to conduct the poll, a sham of an election. His party, just like Fabara’s, sweeps the polls. And to avoid the clash of the winners as we saw in Rivers, Adeleke says the “winners” should not go to their offices. So, from winners take all, they become losers take none. They won but they lost. They are winners on paper. They are trustees of the mandate in waiting. It is a victory without spoils, a responsibility without power, a status without stature, a post of impotence.

    So, both men, Adeleke and Fubara, are funny, but they are not fun. Fubara is still examining the judgment. His lawyers want to make a continual buffoon of their client. So, they are looking for lacuna to exploit. Some lawyers are denying the Supreme Court verdict of the lawmakers as to whether they have defected. They are waiting for the top court to eat its own words and go back to its vomit. It reminds me of the words of Jesus, who poured woe on lawyers for taking away the “key of knowledge.” Money has held lawyers spellbound, so they turn the law with the facility of their crafty minds. Hence Shakespeare said, “the first thing we do, let’s kill the lawyers.”

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    The tragedy is that we need them. Some scholars are beginning to doubt the durability of the democratic idea because of the ability of men and lawyers to upend a popular system. We are seeing it in Europe, and the United States. It is a Hobbesian world we are walking into. It is a time for vigilance. In the sweep of human history, democracy has been a blip. We have had different forms of autocracy hold sway for most of human civilization, and we should not presume that it cannot die away. Democracies have voted in autocracies in Ancient Greece and in the 20th century.  In the U.S., the poor voted in a plutocracy. Nothing is guaranteed.

    With strong men with populist bravura and cunning, we may have a democracy by name, but the system would be essentially autocratic. We are witnessing that under Trump today. They are the models for Adeleke and Fubara. They are just not that clever yet. As the Russian novelist and philosopher Maxim Gorky wrote, the “only people who deserve freedom are those who fight for it every day.” Vigilance is the capacity for survival. Autocracy is beguiling; hence systems and masses tend to fall for them. It seduces hysteria. It is a charming brute. Adam Smith, in his Wealth of Nations, predicted that democracy will flourish as families break down to smaller units. His idea is that large patriarchies favour despots. That idea has been disgraced in public in the 20th century with the fascist seductions of Hitler, Franco and Mussolini in Europe and Pol Pot and Mao in Asia.

    One of the problems of democracy is the impotence of the courts, that is righteous courts. A court does not have an army. So, it can issue a verdict. The executive branch that controls the armed forces clips the police and soldiers. Nothing happens. We are seeing this in Osun right now. Lawyers are coddling Fubara and quietly cajoling him to defy.

    Hence, I say both men are comedians whose latest acts do not inspire laughter. They make us wince with fear for our system. They are different types of comedians. Fubara is not the laughing type, and makes us laugh just by his slapstick acts. We call such comedians dark. He does not intend to amuse, but he cannot help himself. What of a line like, “the jungle has matured.” Or his acts of lashing out at his predecessor when he is imitating his style of launching projects. Or when he says “I am not afraid of you.” His is what is called deadpan comedy, the sort that Soyinka gives in A Play of Giants. Or Oscar Wilde’s play, The Importance of Being Earnest.

    Governor Adeleke combines fat and athletic to give us dances. His dance cannot win a formal prize but it entertains more than those formal dances because he is so unoriginal that it seems original because of who is dancing. It is like an agabya entertaining everyone and no one has to laugh at him. His rambunctious humour is like Baba Sala, or Jagua. The difference is that Adeleke is governor and some people need quite a few laughs in a time of desperate need. If he cannot give the people bread, as Roman Poet Juvenal prescribes, at least he can stage a circus, spontaneous, unscripted, rip-roaring circuses. The local government poll saga shows the thin line between comedy and tragedy. After all, Trump is a funny man, an entertainer who is blowing up the world. It is like Nobel laureate Gunter Grass who turns a comic style to script a Nazi feast.

     Comedy and anomie are like beauty and beast. The beauty, like Delilah, is like trouble. Hence Ayi Kwei Amah calls his novel, The Beautyful Ones Are Not Yet Born, a testament to beauty as impostor. It is not John Keats’ definition as truth. It is more like poet Rilke’s view that it is terror. Hence in her novel, The Death of Vivek Orji, Akwaeke Emezi’s protagonist treasures how Amah spells Beautyful in his novel by retaining the integrity of the noun. Adjectives undermine the souls of matters. That is the fear that our two top comedians may want to bring to our system. Comedy is beauty, but not the sort we are getting from the top guns in Rivers and Osun.

  • Tinubu’s leadership strategy earns party’s confidence

    Tinubu’s leadership strategy earns party’s confidence

    Leadership is often measured not just by the ability to implement policies, but by the resilience to weather storms and the vision to turn challenges into success stories. Over the past year, President Bola Ahmed Tinubu has exemplified this kind of leadership, navigating Nigeria through tough but necessary reforms. The recognition of these efforts by the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) this past week—culminating in a unanimous vote of confidence—further underscores the success of his strategic approach.

    At the National Caucus meeting of the APC, held at the State House Conference Center on Tuesday night, party leaders took stock of Tinubu’s administration, reviewing his bold economic reforms, security improvements, and efforts to stabilize the nation’s economy. What began as a turbulent transition—marked by the removal of fuel subsidies and the floating of the naira—has steadily evolved into a period of recovery and renewed optimism.

    Acknowledging the resilience of both the party and the nation, Chairman of the Progressive Governors Forum (PGF) and Governor of Imo State, Hope Uzodinma, led the charge in appreciating the President’s leadership.

    “First, I congratulate the leadership of the party that despite all challenges, the party continues to wax stronger,” Uzodinma said. He praised President Tinubu’s courage in navigating Nigeria’s affairs and highlighted how APC had become the “envy of all political parties in Africa” under his leadership.

    But Uzodinma’s commendation went beyond rhetoric. He called for a decisive statement from the National Caucus, urging members to formally affirm their support for Tinubu’s government.

    “I will want us, before the end of this meeting, to show proper commitment and identify with the reform policies of the government. Indeed, because the President has been able to drive most of our articles in our manifestos to fruition, we should be able to give him a vote of implicit confidence,” he declared.

    The motion, which was seconded and unanimously approved, was a clear testament to the growing belief within the ruling party that Tinubu’s policies, though initially met with resistance, are now yielding tangible benefits.

    Among the strongest affirmations of Tinubu’s success came from Senator Abdulaziz Yari, who pointed to significant improvements in security and food prices. Representing Zamfara West, a region that had long suffered from violent banditry, Yari described the transformation under Tinubu’s administration.

    “There are places where we could not drive to, people evacuated because of insecurity,” Yari recounted. “However, today, under the watch of our President, everyone can drive and ply that road, free.”

    For years, areas like Dansadau and Kulembana—once responsible for 60% of Zamfara’s agricultural produce—had become inaccessible due to relentless attacks by bandits. Residents were forced to move in convoys under military escort just to reach the state capital. But today, as Yari emphasized, those same roads are safe again, allowing businesses and farming activities to resume.

    Beyond security, Yari also pointed to declining food prices as another indicator of Tinubu’s policies bearing fruit.

    “After the rainy season last year, I bought 100kg of millet at N84,000,” he said. “But today, Mr. President, it’s between N60,000 and N65,000.”

    For ordinary Nigerians, this shift is critical. The administration’s efforts to boost food production and stabilize the naira are beginning to ease the economic burden on citizens, especially as the holy month of Ramadan approaches.

    By Wednesday, at the APC’s National Executive Committee (NEC) meeting in Abuja, the call for a confidence vote had gained even more momentum. Ogun State Governor, Dapo Abiodun, and PGF Chairman, Hope Uzodinma, once again reiterated the party’s full support for Tinubu’s leadership.

    While opposition voices may continue to challenge the administration’s approach, the overwhelming endorsement by the APC’s highest decision-making bodies signals that the party remains united behind Tinubu’s vision. It also reinforces the idea that governance is a long game—one where short-term discomfort can pave the way for long-term stability and growth.

    As the APC’s leadership closed ranks behind the President, the message was clear: Tinubu’s approach is working. His administration has not only maintained party cohesion, but has also started delivering on the promises that initially seemed like difficult bets.

    Read Also: Tinubu eulogizes Nujoma as warrior, nation-builder at state burial

    Leadership requires taking difficult decisions, standing firm in the face of uncertainty, and having the patience to see reforms through. The APC’s vote of confidence in President Tinubu is not just a political endorsement—it is an acknowledgment that Nigeria is on the right path under his leadership.

    The challenges ahead remain, but if the past year is any indication, Tinubu has both the vision and the resolve to lead Nigeria toward a more prosperous future.

    A Budget for Prosperity, A Message of Hope

    In governance, two things matter most: action and intent. This past week, on Friday to be exact, the President demonstrated both. First, by signing the historic N54.99 trillion 2025 Budget of Transformation, he reaffirmed his administration’s commitment to economic recovery and shared prosperity. Then, in his Ramadan message, he reminded Nigerians of the power of unity, compassion, and resilience in navigating challenging times.

    Though separate occasions, both speak to the same underlying goal—building an economy that works for all Nigerians.

    When President Tinubu assumed office, he inherited an economy in distress. Hard decisions were made, including the removal of fuel subsidies and the floating of the naira—policies that initially caused widespread concern. However, as the President confidently declared while signing the 2025 budget, these reforms have “achieved what many deemed impossible.”

    And the numbers back him up. Nigeria’s GDP growth rebounded to 3.86 percent, national revenue surged to ₦21.63 trillion, and the budget deficit dropped significantly. The naira, once battered by market uncertainty, has stabilized, reflecting a more resilient economy.

    But beyond statistics, what stands out in this budget is its focus on people. With a ₦23.96 trillion capital expenditure, the government is investing heavily in infrastructure, agriculture, and job creation. These are not just figures; they represent roads to be built, schools to be improved, and businesses to be supported.

    “We affirm our commitment to securing the future, rebuilding prosperity, and ensuring that every Nigerian shares in the dividends of governance,” Tinubu assured.

    Coinciding with this economic milestone is the beginning of Ramadan, a period of spiritual renewal and generosity. In his message to Nigerians, President Tinubu recognized the significance of the holy month and the economic realities facing citizens.

    “As the wet season approaches, we remain steadfast in boosting agricultural productivity. We are determined to enhance food production and ensure self-sufficiency and food security for all Nigerians,” he promised.

    This is not mere rhetoric. The government has rolled out targeted input support, mechanization, and innovative farming initiatives to tackle food scarcity and high prices. And, as the President pointed out, there are already signs of improvement.

    “Food prices are beginning to decline, the exchange rate is stabilizing, and fuel prices have dropped,” he noted.

    Ramadan, beyond its religious essence, is also a time of unity and shared sacrifice. Tinubu’s call for compassion—urging Nigerians to extend kindness to their neighbours, especially those in need—resonates deeply in a country where economic hardship has tested many.

    President Tinubu’s leadership in the past year has been defined by tough but necessary decisions. Now, the early signs of economic stability are beginning to emerge, reinforcing the idea that Nigeria is on the right path.

    The 2025 budget sets the course for growth, while the Ramadan message serves as a reminder that prosperity is only meaningful when it is shared. As Nigerians fast and pray, there is a renewed sense of hope—hope that the sacrifices made will soon yield a stronger, more prosperous nation.

    Meanwhile, the week was not just all about the events of Tuesday/Wednesday which celebrated the President’s successes at running successful reforms and leadership, or those of Friday, when economic concerns took centre stage. Other things happened on those days, which were not just about politics or economy. There were also other days featuring other concerns; there was Monday and there was Thursday. His week was a mix of leadership engagements, policy discussions, and personal moments of celebration and reflection.

    Monday began with the President celebrating his Special Adviser on Policy Communication, Daniel Bwala, who turned 50. The same day, he met with the National Population Commission (NPC), firmly stating that he would not support an inconsistent approach to conducting a population and housing census. “Get your house together before reaching out to development partners,” he warned the commission’s leadership.

    Later, he received a report from participants of Senior Executive Course 46 of the National Institute for Policy and Strategic Studies (NIPSS), reaffirming the government’s focus on the digital economy and youth empowerment.

    On Tuesday, he took time to commiserate with Minister of Information and National Orientation, Mohammed Idris, over the passing of his mother-in-law, Hajia Hauwa Yakub Usman. Wednesday saw the President extending warm wishes to Ebonyi State Governor, Francis Nwifuru, on his 50th birthday.

    On Thursday, he celebrated Mama Christiana Modupe Ajibola, a respected educationist who turned 100. Later, he met with Airtel Chairman, Sunil Bharti Mittal, discussing economic expansion and investment opportunities.

    The week concluded on Friday, starting on a somber note as he mourned Chief Anike Agbaje-Williams, Africa’s first television broadcaster. He also received Nigerian-born NFL champion, Morotoluwa Ojomo, and his parents, Mr and Mrs Ololade Ojomo, at the Villa, affirming that the athlete’s Super Bowl moment and display of the Nigerian flag rekindled national pride. Later, he welcomed Akwa Ibom stakeholders, strengthening relationships with key political and traditional leaders. He was even conferred with the Otuekong chieftaincy title, which is translates to Commander-in-Chief in the Ibibio language.

    It was a week that showcased Tinubu’s governance approach—balancing national priorities with personal connections, reinforcing his commitment to economic progress, institutional discipline, and social harmony.

    Now it is a new week, one opening with a strong spiritual content; it is the first week of the month of Ramadan. It should come with its own flavour.

  • Makinde’s inexpedient intervention in Osun

    Makinde’s inexpedient intervention in Osun

    Oyo State governor Seyi Makinde was a guest at the inauguration ceremony of the ‘newly elected’ LG chairmen in Osun State last Sunday, and was flanked by PDP Governors’ Forum chairman Bala Mohammed and Governor Ademola Adeleke. In his remarks, he sensationally warned the APC not to turn Osun State into ‘Wild, Wild West’. Said he without a hint of discomfort or hesitation: “We don’t want wild, wild west again. They (APC) should stay away from this zone. We want to provide dividends of democracy to our people peacefully. If anybody has a judgement, there is a procedure for enforcement of court decisions. It is illegal to resort to self-help. The era of resorting to federal might is long gone.”

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    In the early years of his first term, and despite being in the conservative PDP, Mr Makinde was widely seen as a promising shining light not only in the Southwest, but also in the country as a whole. That promise has sadly remained unfulfilled, perhaps because his initial colourfulness was in fact not anchored on anything ideological or systematic. That he was a guest of Mr Adeleke does not mean he must turn a blind eye to the substance of the case in Osun. In his remarks, he spoke about the rule of law. Yet, it is strange that he failed to see the contradictions between what he advocates and the abridged processes that led to the ‘election’ of the LG chairmen.

  • June 12 Annulment: Post confession, but without anapology from him, how should Nigerians see Babangida?

    June 12 Annulment: Post confession, but without anapology from him, how should Nigerians see Babangida?

    Abiola, his wife, Kudirat, alongside his many businesses; a NADECO chieftain, Alfred Rewane; business woman Suliat Adedeji and several others were consumed in the political convolution that Babangida’s perfidy set off, which completely engulfed Nigeria.

    He ought to be aware that these  tragic events can never be wished away merely through a trifle acknowledgement of wrong-doing, but by a major act of seeking  national forgiveness, coupled with corresponding acts of reparation; whether financial or otherwise. Nothing less would do”.

    A Premium Times Editorial.

    My first, and only, meeting with General Ibrahim Babangida  was at his opulent hilltop castle in Minna, Niger state, a few years ago in the company of  members of the Board of a Federal institution in the state, when we paid him a courtesy call.

    Although already hobbled by radiculopathy – a condition he allegedly

    got serving Nigeria on the war front – he actually once told a CNN reporter that he still has a bullet lodged in his body. I could not miss his gaiety, affability and charm; all of which were copiously on display. He was winsome and, when the Chairman introduced me as a columnist with The Nation on Sunday, he literally grabbed me, pulling me towards himself for some small talk.

    The ever irrepressible charmer!

    To know General Babangida, no matter how fleetingly, is to be  unwilling to roast him the way many have done since his book launch this  past week.

    Unfortunately, his gargantuan sins against God and humanity make it absolutely impossible for one to stay on that narrow and straight road. General Babangida offended, not only man, but God.

    His story is, therefore, a  tragi – comedy – a man so gifted, yet so unremittingly conflicted; that only God in His infinite mercy, not man, can forgive him his many sins against Nigeria and humanity.

    Babangida evokes strong emotions. For most, he is the symbol of the country’s tumultuous past, a past marked by nasty militarism, political upheaval, systemic corruption and economic stagnation.

    In recent years, however, he has attempted to rebrand himself, coyly seeking redemption, and forgiveness, even if the words “I regret” are too heavy for him; the more reason his efforts are like pouring water on a duck – fruitless.

    The catalyst for his latest attempt at transformation was his recent  confession, during his book launch, regarding the annulment of the June 12, 1993, presidential election.

    For years, he has denied any involvement in the annulment, but in a surprising turn of events, he publicly acknowledged his role in the gross act.

    The admission has sparked a huge national conversation, with many Nigerians grappling with how to process it, especially as he seems too  conceited to really, meaningfully, apologise to a nation he has severally trampled upon.

    Most commentators have, understandably, taken the retired general to the cleaners while on the other hand, some are willing to see his  confession as an act of courage and a  willingness to confront the demons of his past as well as take responsibility for his actions though  his failure to apologise directly, and fully, rather than take cover under some linguistic razmataz, robbed him of the sympathy of most Nigerians.

    In a country where public officials rarely admit to any wrongdoing, Babangida’s acknowledgment of his role in the annulment would have been a refreshing change, were he not unnecessarily too important in his own eyes.

    His traducers are, of course, far more skeptical, viewing his confession as a calculated move designed to rehabilitate his image and secure his legacy. They argue that his admission of guilt is too little, too late, and that it does not erase the harm caused by his malevolent actions.

    Read Also: June 12: Olanipekun berates Babangida for not apologising to Abiola, family

    Also, they argue, Babangida’s role in the annulment of the June 12 election was not an isolated incident. His military regime was marked by widespread human rights abuses, including the suppression of free speech and the detention of political opponents.

    In this context, his confession can be seen as an attempt to deflect attention from his broader record, to focus on a single issue, rather than confront the full scope of his torrid actions.

    So, how should Nigerians see Babangida post his confession?

    The answer is complex.

    While his admission of guilt is a step in the right direction, it is only the beginning of a long process of reckoning and accountability.

    Ultimately, Nigerians must approach Babangida’s confession with a critical eye, recognizing the extent of his thoroughly inhuman misdeeds, as well as, both the significance of his admission and the limitations of his apology.

    By doing so, we can begin to build a more nuanced understanding of our country’s past; one that acknowledges the complexities and contradictions of figures like Babangida. That would, without a doubt, lead us to a fair and just conclusion as to how we believe history will, inevitably, judge him.

    One Nigerian who has begun that process, even before the billions – Naira deluge of a book launch and his confession and efette apologies, is Professor Steve Egbo who, a whole 24(2001) years earlier, has written a tome on the  general with conclusions that have more than a fair chance of representing the retired general’s epitaph.

    With an eye on space constraint then , let us quote Professor Egbo at some length in his book:’Political Soldiering : Africa’s Men on Horseback”,  especially pages 84 – 94.

    Wrote Egbo: “Many have reacted to Babangida’s so called autobiography. Many more will still react. As a response to his obstinacy and lies, I have decided to produce a brief excerpt from my book, “Political Soldiering : Africa’s Men on Horseback”, published 24 years ago. This will serve as my personal response to Babangida’s false narratives. His attempt to rewrite history in his own image is just a proof of who he is.

    How Babangida’s private emotions, ideas and plans were foisted on the nation, how the nation’s resources were subjected to a plethora of abuse and misuse, and how the nation remained exceptionally receptive to para-psychological manipulations for a period of eight years vastly go beyond conventions and traditional wisdom.

    For Babangida, politics is not just “the art of the possible”, it is the art of ruling a people through deception, empty promises, lies and intimidation. For him, while politics remain the process by which people compete for the control of the instruments of favor, it must involve “the use of fraud”.

    For the smiling General and the perfidious faithlessness he represents, the best politician is a juggler, or better still a sorcerer, full of tricks, inconsistencies, nihilism and misathropy. Babangida saw himself as the Charles De Gaulle of our time.

    He believes himself to be a strong man, a man of action with a strong dose of egoism, pride, toughness, and cunning.

    This belief best explains the reason why he took Nigeria on a jolly ride for so many years. He told Nigerians that as political nonentities, they must learn the rudiments of democracy at his feet.

    It was a long lecture, scheduled to last eight years or  till eternity.  However, it was a very sad lecture because at the end of it all, Nigeria learnt nothing but lost everything. The energies, the resources and the time channeled therein went down the drain”.

    That I believe is how Nigerians should see, and remember, General Ibrahim Babangida, the self – proclaimed “evil genius”, alias Maradona.

  • The Area Boys’ Club: A satirical look at Tinubu’s administration

    The Area Boys’ Club: A satirical look at Tinubu’s administration

    In a stunning revelation that shocked all, a former Governor of Kaduna State, Nasir El-Rufai, “scattered the table” off President Bola Tinubu’s revolutionary approach to governance: the “Area Boy Administration” model. For El Rufai, meritocracy had lost it—there’s a new system in town, and it runs on street credibility, alaiye , agbero tendencies and Lagos postcodes!

    The way El Rufai spoke one wont be shocked when FEC meetings will

    with roll call by neighborhood. “Lagos Island?” “Present, sir!” “Ikoyi?” “Present, sir!” “Kaduna North?” “Awkward silence”. It seems the geographical requirement for government service has shrunk considerably, now measuring approximately the distance between Bourdillon Road and Banana Island.

    Perhaps Tinubu reduced the criteria for his appointments to those who have shared a bowl of Amala with lafun, gbegiri and ewedu or Ewa Agonyin and buredi ( Bread). Asides this, the list of appointments includes those who have ‘Fajied’ with President Tinubu in the past, i mean those Owambes that have rocked Lagos soceity in the past. Scholars on efficiency and inclusivity experts  are studying this groundbreaking approach to human resource management in governance.

    El-Rufai’s complaint has revealed a revolutionary new qualification system for high office in Nigeria. Traditional requirements like education, experience, and expertise have been replaced by a single question: “Were you ever within shouting distance of me in Lagos?”

    Presidential advisors have been quick to defend this system. “It’s actually quite sophisticated,” explained one unnamed source while adjusting his agbada. “We call it the ‘I Know This Guy’ meritocracy. It’s been field-tested in Lagos politics for decades, with results that speak for themselves!”

    The president’s commitment to geographic inclusivity has been particularly noteworthy. His appointments represent an impressive diversity of backgrounds, ranging all the way from Victoria Island to Lekki, with bold expansions into experimental territories like Ikeja, Agege, Tagbon Tagbon, Surulere, Egbeda etc.

    This is actually a masterclass in Nigerian unity. The president is showing that regardless of whether you’re from the mainland or the island parts of Lagos, there’s a place for you in this administration. That’s Nigeria for you—boundless opportunities within bounds!

    Critics have noted that Nigeria’s 36 states seem underrepresented in this new model. The administration has responded by pointing out that many appointees have, at some point in their lives, driven through or flown over various states, thereby qualifying as experts on these regions.

    Poor El-Rufai seems to have missed the obvious solution to his predicament: simply relocate to Lagos and hang around the president’s favorite haunts for a few decades. Perhaps then he too could enjoy the fruits of the “Area Boy to Federal Appointment” pipeline.

    Some political observers have suggested that El-Rufai’s criticism stems from his application of outdated concepts like “federal character” and “national unity.” These quaint notions have apparently been replaced with the more streamlined “I’ve known you since when?” principle of public appointment.

    The administration has defended this approach as fiscally responsible. It will ask whether one has an inkling of how expensive it is to interview candidates from all 36 states. Imagine the wrangling and energy such an approach will save Nigerians from.

    Political analysts predict that ambitious young Nigerians will now abandon traditional career paths like law, medicine, and engineering in favor of the more direct route to success: loitering strategically near the homes of potential future presidents, some have started loitering around Shettima, Ribadu’s ,El Eufai’s and even my house!

    Read Also: Tinubu eulogizes Nujoma as warrior, nation-builder at state burial

    University admission officers are  reporting  a sharp decline in applications for public administration courses and a suspicious increase in requests for information about properties near politicians’ residences. “Location, location, location” has taken on a whole new meaning in Nigerian political career planning.

    The National Integration Masterplan

    I am sure when pressed about the apparent regionalism in his appointments, the president via his handlers like Onanuga and co who drank Emu and Awonpa with Asiwaju would reportedly respond with characteristic wisdom: National integration doesn’t mean President Tinubu will need to integrate people he doesnt know from Lagos into his cabinet.

    Such a profound statement has led to a complete reimagining of Nigeria’s national motto. “Unity in Diversity” may soon be updated to the more accurate “Unity Among Those I have had Asaro With.”

    As Nigeria continues on this bold new path, citizens are encouraged to update their understanding of merit and qualification. Your degrees from Harvard? Irrelevant. Your decades of public service? Inconsequential. That time you helped the president find parking in Lagos traffic twenty years ago? Now we’re talking premium CV material!

    El-Rufai may continue to cling to outdated notions of regional balance and representative government, but Nigeria has clearly moved on to a more intimate model of governance. After all, why entrust the nation’s future to the most qualified when you can entrust it to the most familiar?

    My worry however is this,  when did the likes of Badaru, Ribadu, Umahi, Akume, Bianca, Bagudu, Musawa, Diginyadi, Matawalle, Wike and the rest find time to fill such Area Boy criterias for appointment? I can imagine with a mischievious grin how a Ribadu and Badaru will dance to Apala or Fuji music? For Wike,  he has some maverick dance steps but juju dance steps wouldnt be his thing.

    In a cabinet of 47, that a whooping number of 37 are non Yorubas or Lagosians! How El Rufai arrives at such a notion leaves one worried.

    Even a cursory look at other appointments will definitely not give  any credence to such an accusation.

    However,  lets hold  the phone, should the president appoint his enemies, possible saboteurs and non loyalists into his government? Is Nigeria in a civil war situation that requires perhaps a government of national unity, one that will see President Tinubu appoint the likes of Atiku and Peter Obi into his cabinet? This is the same El Rufai who while questioned on the people he gave land to while he served as FCT minister was asked why he allocated lands to his friends and he replied by saying to the panel ” When you get there allocate to your enemies”. This is the same El Rufai who served as Governor of Kaduna State, pray can he tell us how many of his enemies he appointed  into his cabinet?

    As for those 35 other  states feeling left out of the new arrangement, there’s always the next administration. According to El Rufai,  perhaps start by opening a good buka near your governor’s house—you never know where they might end up, and when they do, they will bring their appetites and address books with them.

    In the meantime, ambitious young Nigerians are advised to focus less on their CVs and more on their GPS coordinates. In the new Nigeria, it’s not what you know, it’s not even who you know—it’s where you’ve known them!

  • Witty women

    Witty women

    This year’s International Women’s Day comes up this week on Saturday, 8 March, 2025, a day before the next edition of this column. It is therefore necessary for the column today to begin the celebration by featuring an array of women’s wit – their pithy, picturesque, persuasive rhetoric – their capacity to use language to arrest the attention of the listener or audience to varying degrees.

    This is important because of the long-standing global tendency to devalue women’s words. The clearest manifestation of this tendency in Yoruba Language is to describe their speech dismissively as “òrò obìnrin” (‘women’s words’). In English, one of the most misogynistic stereotyping of women’s speech is in the proverb, “Because is a woman’s reason.”  This proverb which is on page 38 of F.P. Wilson’s 1970 The Oxford dictionary of English proverbs and proverbial phrases originates from William Shakespeare’s The two gentlemen of Verona (Act I, Scene II, Lines 23-24), where the female character Lucretius says, when asked to justify her positive opinion on a male character: “I have no reason than a woman’s reason: I think him so, because I think him so.” The negative stereotype in the Yoruba phrase and the English proverb is that women’s speech is characteristically frivolous, and the stereotype seems to be aimed at keeping women mute.

    Women of note have therefore been challenging the female-silencing stereotype. Of particular note is the 18th to 19th century African-American amazon, Sojourner Truth. Ironically, it was other women who wanted to silence her ostensibly based on the colour of her skin and her dissonant class-based appearance which contrasted with that of the elite white female organisers of the 1851 Women’s Rights Convention, at Old Stone Church, in Akron, Ohio, in the United States. Eventually, she was allowed to speak. In her speech which has come to be famously titled, “Ain’t I A Woman?”, Sojourner Truth put forth timeless physiological, spirito-religious and moral arguments for recognising the value of women and granting women’s rights. Though there are some differences in various accounts of the speech, the key arguments are similar.

    The transcript of Sojourner Truth’s speech which has been set out below has been revised to make it comprehensible to a 21st century audience or reader:

     “Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that ‘twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what’s all this here talking about?

    “That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain’t I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain’t I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man – when I could get it – and bear the lash as well! And ain’t I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother’s grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain’t I a woman?

    “Then they talk about this thing in the head; what’s this they call it? [member of audience whispers, “intellect”] That’s it, honey. What’s that got to do with women’s rights or negroes’ rights? If my cup won’t hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn’t you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?

    “Then that little man in black there, he says women can’t have as much rights as men, ’cause Christ wasn’t a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

    “If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back, and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.

    “Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain’t got nothing more to say.”

    Then there was Margaret Thatcher. She was an Oxford University graduate of Chemistry, who later studied Law, and was a woman of strong personality. Sensing this unnerving quality in her, she was denied a job following an interview. Years later, when she had become the first female Prime Minister of Britain, she got access to the interview report, and in it, as a 1 May, 2012 article, titled “The Iron Lady,” in chemistryworld.com stated, one interviewer noted: “This young woman has too strong a personality to work here!” She was Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990 as Head of the Conservative Party, making her the longest-serving British Prime Minister of the 20th century; and her tenure was eventful, earning her the nickname Iron Lady, because of her tough character.

    Read Also: Akpabio vs Natasha: Letter to women politicians

    Margaret Thatcher was also a woman of deep wit. Examples of this, which were extracted from “Margaret Thatcher’s most famous quotes,” by Lucy Hutchings, in the British Vogue, Issue 8, April 2013, are shown below. On what is required to be a successful Prime Minister, she said: “Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country.” Related to this, she asserted: “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”

    Margaret Thatcher also had witty words which marked her governance style. These include the following: “I am not a consensus politician. I’m a conviction politician.” “To those waiting with bated breath for that favourite media catchphrase, the U-turn, I have only one thing to say. You turn if you want to. The lady’s not for turning.” “I don’t mind how much my ministers talk, as long as they do what I say.”  And then, “I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.”

    With respect to political discretion and tact, she said: “To wear your heart on your sleeve isn’t a very good plan; you should wear it inside, where it functions best.” “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” “Defeat? I do not recognise the meaning of the word.” “It pays to know the enemy – not least because at some time you may have the opportunity to turn him into a friend.”

    Margaret Thatcher wasn’t just a woman of wit; she was also a woman of action. And her actions matched her wit in amazing ways. This played out, for example, with respect to her defeat of her country’s very powerful National Union of Mineworkers. She emasculated the union so much that even when she died on 8 April, 2013, some of the miners who confronted her in the 1984-1985 strike were still shedding tears of pain and regret.

    The Zimbabwean medical doctor and Pan-Africanist, Arikana Chihombori-Quao, who served as the Permanent Representative of the African Union Mission to the United States from 2017 to 2019 is also worthy of consideration. She believed that the imperialist and colonialist exploitation of Africa, which started with the Berlin conference of 1884, was not abating. In the following excerpts from a 1 November, 2024 speech titled “H.E. Dr Arikana put African leaders under fire with revolutionary speech is South Africa,” she deploys her wit to underscore the condition: 

    “As Africans, we are busy running away from our who we are. We don’t want to embrace our Africanness. Why not? If you refuse and don’t accept your Africanness, then who are you? … You are just like a ship without an anchor: the wind blows that way, there you go [pointing in one direction]; the wind blows that way, there you go [pointing in another direction]. … The truth of the matter is, we don’t need the world, the world needs Africa. But do we really know that and believe in it and are ready to stand up and proclaim who we are and let them know? But I’ve sat in meetings where I’ve seen [African] ministers [saying] ‘Ah, America, can you help us with this? Ah, Europe, can you help us?’ Begging endlessly for something we have? Whatever they’re giving you is what they stole from us and they’re giving you peanuts. When are we going to stop being outsmarted by these people? They come smiling at you. They come to give you aid. You know very well that’s your money, but we are so grateful.” Chihombori-Quao then exhorts, “Africa, wake up!”

    She also narrated her experience in Ghana: “I stayed at a beautiful hotel. When I walked into the room, right above the headboard was the humongous photograph of Queen Elizabeth, and I thought to myself, now I am going to bed tonight with the shadow of Queen Elizabeth hanging over me. What kind of dreams was I going to have that night?” So, the photograph was removed    for the night, so that she could have “good dreams.”

    In closing, let me note that I’ve encountered wit from my mother too, and it has come, especially, in the form of a proverb which has remained indelible in my mind. Her usage of the proverb has a story behind it.  My wife needed to collect her certificate from her alma mater out of town. On the day she was to go for it, I started to explain to her how best to travel to the school. Then my mother interjected, and said, in Yoruba, translated as follows: “No. You won’t tell her how to get there; rather, you would accompany her there.” My mother then gave the reason for her counsel by citing the proverb, “Tí a ò bà rí olójú, a kìí tìí.” (‘You need to be face-to-face with people for them to be shy of you.’) That is, my presence would grant my wife the best or swiftest attention. My mother was too persuasive for me not to follow her counsel.

    I believe the wisdom of that proverb is the reason why countries establish embassies and why organisations, institutions and even associations establish country or liaison offices to derive the benefits of ‘being on ground’.  It is also the reason why countries send official delegations to other countries to maximise their gains in bi-lateral and multi-lateral negotiations.

    To all witty women worldwide, “Happy International Women’s Day 2025!”

    (Erratum: In last week’s article on “Malcolm X’s moral dilemmas,” 1964 rather than 1968 was indicated as the year of Martin Luther King Jr’s murder. Error is regretted.)

  • The rise, rise and rise of capitalism (IX)

    The rise, rise and rise of capitalism (IX)

    I hope that those of my readers who have been following this series faithfully have as usual turned to these pages today to satisfy their curiousity about the fascinating subject of the continuous rise and rise of capitalism. If you have done so as usual, I am sorry to disappoint you and must confess that I have kept to the usual title only as a means of using it as a decoy. The truth is that so many things have been taking place recently that frankly, it would be carrying on something at least close to journalistic irresponsibility if one were to ignore them or even appear to ignore them in favour of rabbiting on this week about the Berlin conference or colonialism as I was committed to doing before common sense laid to waste all my well laid out plans for this week’s subject.

    Having decided to pivot away from capitalism this week, the problem I must solve is which of the interesting subjects facing our world needs to be tackled first. And it is at this point that I am beginning to regret that I have not overcome the temptation to stick to the narrow path that I have been treading for some ten weeks now. After thoughtful, if not painful consideration however, I have decided to stay at home and talk about as some would say, the book which contrary to the nature of books has over the course of a few days exploded onto these shores with what could be described as the force of a powerful bomb. Since the book is from a military source however, it is quite appropriate to persist with the bomb analogy especially since a great deal of damage was done to persons and structures by the publication of this book in particular. On second thought, it is probably not the publication of this book that was responsible for the damage caused by the book. I must confess that I have not only not set eyes on the book but have no intention of spending or perhaps ever waste any time on reading it any time soon. And that is saying a great deal because being retired, time is a commodity I have plenty of to spend or waste as I please. Like me, the author of the book is also retired and like me, has a great deal of time on his hands. Still, I wonder why he has decided to spend so much time and energy which on the face of things he has little of,  to gather all those words together to form a book. On the other hand, there are some who will say and I wonder why they would say that the book is long awaited or overdue. Now that the book has made its long awaited arrival, one can only wonder if the arrival is worth the wait. But then the publication of the book is not so much the publication but its launching, the planning and execution of which must have been a logistical nightmare of gigantic proportions.

    For a start, the only living former head of our state who was absent  was fully expected to be absent as his presence would have been awkward to say the least. After all, there is enough bad blood between those two officers and gentlemen to drown an army of crocodiles. Still, the presence of so many former heads of state, not to talk of the current tenant of Aso Rock in such a confined space was enough trouble to keep an inordinately large number of security details inordinately busy. At the end of it all, one cannot help but wonder what all the fuss was all about.

    To be fair, that book for all it is worth may have promised much more than if was able to deliver but there is no denying the riot of colours associated with the author. No other head of our state living or dead can hold a candle next to him in this respect. Even in the prime of his career as a fully certified warrior his avuncular good looks was a perfect disguise for the sternness of his inclination and profession. But then, it is quite true that there is no art to find the mind’s construction in the face but it is even more difficult if that face is more often smiling than not because of the sharp contrast of those smiles to some of his physical reactions to some issues. For eight long years he held sway as head of state catching as many flies with honey as with vinegar. For many Nigerians even now, thirty-two years after ‘stepping aside’ he inexplicably remains their head of state, the commander in chief who is still quite capable of commanding that last salute. How they will come to terms with their chief’s abject abdication of his responsibility as head of state or the only self-styled military president the world has ever seen can only be guessed at. But there are many more people who are in no mood to forgive that lapse in judgement or courage which has only just admitted and for the first time that MKO Abiola was indeed the winner of what Nigerians continue to describe as the freest of fairest elections Nigeria has ever had as if there has ever been any free or fair election in the history of our country. The launching of the book went off like a bomb but the book itself lacked the power of ordnance to cause a detonation. Now, we have at least on the surface, a large sum of money with which to build a Presidential Library for a president who has neither been voted for nor voted out of office but then in Nigeria, there are no contradictions that cannot be resolved at some all-night rendezvous so beloved of our leaders. We simply live with everything no matter the absurdity we have to invest in.

    Read Also:The rise, rise and rise of capitalism (VIII)

    For the benefit of my sons who were born in the eighties but did not really grow up in what has turned out to be the most turbulent period in our history, a brief discussion of those days is pertinent. The eighties started with the long awaited return to civil rule after fourteen torrid years of military rule marked by bloodshed and general discomfort. Unfortunately, the civilians only came to power with their own version of mayhem. Blatantly rigged elections after four disastrous years persuaded us to jump from the frying pan of civil rule back into the fire of another round of military rule characterised as was the first round by rounds of fatal gunfire. This time, civilian casualties were limited but in 1985 after a coup against a military government, we fell into the clutches of a military president who proceeded to paint the country in his own colourful, some would say, lurid image. First, we were told that some officers had planned a coup against the government and they were duly executed to prove it. This was followed by a massive devaluation of the Naira and the institution of something called the Structural Adjustment Programme which turned the country’s economy upside down and pauperised a large section of wage earners. We were told at the time that this was going to lead to prosperity. We are still waiting in vain for that prosperity to arrive and even now with the removal of fuel subsidies and another massive devaluation of the Naira, we are still in the process of structural readjustment. Another promise was that the military was going to go back to their barracks by 1990. This promise was not kept until 1999 by which time we simply dressed a former military head of state in civilian clothes and pretended that we had transitioned successfully into democratic rule. Twenty-six years later, we are still coming to terms with the intricacies of democracy. You are not likely to remember that the importation of wheat and a whole lot of other commodities was banned and we substituted the reality of imported wheat for the fiction of producing wheat and other commodities in places where such production is very difficult if not impossible. But we were nothing if not determined and we showed our persistence by ploughing a great deal of money into our reluctant soil. In the meantime, we dissolved commodity boards and crippled the production of cocoa, palm oil and groundnuts. Our educational institutions, especially our universities which up till the eighties attracted scholars from all over the world began to wind down perceptibly and our doctors began to relocate to Saudi Arabia in search of American greenbacks which were commanding top premium. Our list of failures began to lengthen even as we embarked on the promotion of the cult of a flood of political appointments.  Special Assistants to political assistants began to proliferate along our corridors of power even as real power slipped from our nerveless hands. We diverted our energies and resources into a never ending transition to civil rule and only ended up in producing a cohort of politicians who are only fit for politics and nothing else. Our dependence on crude oil increased even as people from all unlikely works of life were turned into instant dollar multi millionaires through the allocation of oil blocks for undisclosed services rendered.  Now, we are turning our hands to the writing and launching of memoirs of frankly dubious value, both in terms of content and style. It is not unlikely that given the fun affair associated with last week’s book launch, many other people are waking up to writing their memoirs in their turn. Many more book launchings complete with the flaunting of donations are in the offing.

    Now to something completely different. Three short months ago, the people of the United States went to the polls to choose their president and commander in chief. They have been doing this for more than two hundred years, actually, for two hundred and thirty-six years  and in that time only forty-five men (not a single woman) have been elected President of the United States. This shows just how coveted this position has been. Given this fact, it is not a position for mean men. It is only available for men with sterling qualities. The bar to it is, at least in theory set so high that only men of integrity, extraordinary intelligence and iron  clad morality need apply. Having said that however, it is on record that some of the men who have at one time or the other occupied this post have been thorough going scoundrels who have misbehaved badly whilst in office. One such person, at least in modern times was Richard Nixon, a man of so many contradictions that he was not only impeached for high crimes and misdemeanours but was forced to resign from office, the only man to have suffered that indignity. In addition, he would have served time in jail but for the pardon he received from his successor, Gerry Ford. Another modern president, Bill Clinton was impeached allegedly for seducing a young White House intern, Monica Lewinsky but escaped being tufted out on his ear by the skin of his teeth. Then came Donald Trump, the man who would be president, not once but twice just as he has been twice impeached, indicted for thirty-four felonies related to paying hush money to a porn star who claimed to have had sex with him and accused of formenting an insurrection against the very country he was aspiring to lead. Against many odds, he was elected president for the second time, only the second man in history to pull off this feat. I cannot see Donald Trump ever sitting down to write a book but if he did, who would want to read it. Some would say that he once wrote as best selling book, the art of the deal. As with virtually everything about this character, he actually got someone else to write the book.

    • I promise to stick to the subject of capitalism next week.
  • Osun LG poll, Adeleke and OSIEC

    Osun LG poll, Adeleke and OSIEC

    As predicted, the controversial Chairman of the State Independent Electoral Commission (OSIEC), Hashim Abioye, announced the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) candidates as winners of last week’s Osun State local government poll. Though Mr Abioye claimed that 18 political parties contested the poll, and that the PDP won all 30 chairmanship seats and 332 councillor seats, the reality is that the PDP largely contested against itself. The leading opposition party in the state, the All Progressives Congress (APC), boycotted the poll, citing the February 10 Court of Appeal judgement which validated the 2022 LG elections won by the APC. In the eyes of the opposition, there was no vacancy in the LGs, and the tenure of its elected LG officials would not end until October.

    In January 2024, the APC had taken Governor Ademola Adeleke to court for appointing Mr Abioye, alleged to be a PDP card-carrying member, as OSIEC chairman. Though the respondent claimed to have resigned his appointment last year, the complainants insisted he was still a PDP member in November 2023 when he was appointed. He was until his appointment the governor’s special adviser on legal matters. He did not resign his party membership until a few months ago. But while the case was still meandering its way through the judicial mill, the LG election was conducted against all legal advice and against the February Court of Appeal judgement. It is curious that commentators split generally across partisan lines in drawing their conclusions based on their partisan preferences. Thus, haters of the APC insist the 2022 elected LG officials were impostors, and their ‘forceful’ takeover of the LG secretariats undemocratic. On the other hand, loathers of Mr Adeleke and his party also insist the governor is a serial abuser of constitutional rule.

    Mr Adeleke has preemptively asked the ‘newly elected’ LG officials not to assume duty at the LG secretariats. He knows that there is no way he can get the law enforcement agencies to defend or protect the new chairmen when in the eyes of the law and according to the legal advice of the Attorney General of the Federation (AGF) no vacancies exist at the LGs. It is not certain whether the LGs have delinked their accounts from that of the state, whether, as the law provides, they have really become self-accounting. If they are yet to finalise that process, and if the federal government is still timid at withholding the funds of governors playing chicaneries with LGs, the Osun APC LG officials will have taken over the LG secretariats in vain. Worse, the illegal LG elections held last week and overwhelmingly ‘won’ by the PDP would stand by default. The federal government developed cold feet in the Rivers State LG poll before the Supreme Court restored sanity late last week; it would be a disaster and a setback for democracy to feign indifference in the controversial Osun LG poll case.

    Last Saturday’s Osun LG poll was a reflection of Mr Adeleke’s political desperation. His reelection is not due until around the middle of 2026, and the tenure of the current LG office holders will expire in October 2025. He will still be governor by the time the next legitimate LG poll is called, and he will probably still put up a good showing, that is if he does not win outright. Osun voters have not proved to be very discriminating or avid pursuers of enlightened self-interest. They routinely cut their nose to spite their face, and would as soon commit regicide as embark on political hara-kiri. That Mr Adeleke has not been spectacular in office, nor shown any remarkable capacity to innovate and embark on futuristic developmental projects does not mean he would not get enough impressionable Osun people to ignore his dancing jamborees to vote for him or his candidates. Had he let the LG poll to hold as it should later this year, he would probably still have won, but maybe not by the absurdly huge margin Nigerians have resigned themselves to accommodating in the states.

    Read Also: Six shot in Osun community as Adeleke’s aide allegedly leads gunmen

    The problem with last Saturday’s Osun LG poll is not the already litigated PDP membership of the OSIEC chairman, Mr Abioye, or the Court of Appeal judgement indicating that the 2022 elected LG officials were legitimate, or even the firm and unambiguous opinion of the AGF on the controversial new LG poll. The real problem is that Mr Adeleke, citing the constitution and mouthing democratic principles, went ahead to defy reason and conduct a poll certain to be discredited in the eyes of the law. His main ambition, it seems, is to first win reelection by any means possible and then try to clear the legal mess and complication the latest LG poll might bring. He may be fixated on dancing, even in inappropriate circumstances, but he is not slow in understanding the country’s political dynamics. He knows that fellow governors riding the storms in their states manage to do so by defying everything about the constitution and the rule of law. And he thinks that if he does not play truancy with the system, in the most aggressive and reckless way possible, he could be brushed aside.

    OSIEC chairman Mr Abioye will eventually be judicially declared illegitimate, and last Saturday’s LG poll will not stand. But the impunity in Osun, like in some other states, will remain pervasive in direct correlation to the federal government’s reluctance to defend the rule of law. It is not clear how long the feds will keep yielding inches and yards and miles to malfeasant politicians in the name of democracy, but if the government does not draw a red line in the sand, perhaps starting from Osun, if it does not financially empower the 2022 elected LG officials with statutory allocation, then it would in fact be complicit in the weakening and corrosion of Nigerian democracy. The feds should take a stand rather than continue to genuflect.

  • Beyond the apocalypse

    Beyond the apocalypse

    General Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida, a master in the dark art and metaphysics of annulment, whether physical, democratic or national,  was on hand again penultimate Thursday to impose himself on and dominate the Nigerian environment once again thirty two years after surrendering power in dismal and distraught circumstances. In an autobiography that has since gone viral, the Minna-born general tried to absolve himself of complicity in the greatest democratic tragedy that has befallen the nation since independence and to plead for mercy and understanding from his compatriots. In the process, he has triggered off a trail of abuse, recriminations and shrill denunciation the type normally reserved for historical scoundrels. It is as if many Nigerians have been waiting for an opportunity to pounce on IBB.

     As it is said in the book of Job(31.35), “mine desire is that my enemy hath write a book”, it is obvious that thirty two years after, Nigerians are still traumatized by the ignoble drama surrounding the abrogation of the democratic will of the nation by a group of military officers, a development which they trace, directly or indirectly, to their current economic distress and political woes. If few Nigerians outside the loop of power understood what was going on in those days of utter confusion and political perplexity leading to and after the summary dismissal of the electoral sovereignty of the nation, fewer still do after reading Babangida’s mea culpa which has been dismissed as a litany of lies, misinformation and disinformation by irate Nigerians.

    General Babangida has touched some raw nerves. It is curious that Babangida who claimed ignorance of the poorly worded unsigned document announcing the annulment while he was still a sitting military ruler and all-powerful president was on hand to endorse the annulment two days after. Not only that, a few days after formally ceding power, the general  still had the daring and temerity to be announcing new military postings from his Minna redoubt through Chief Duro Onabule his veritable mouthpiece, a development which was swiftly countermanded by the duo of Abacha and Diya in the name of “service expediency”. Perhaps it was only then that the general finally roused from his trance and political somnambulism. As Arthur Nzeribe, his closet collaborator, wickedly and disdainfully put it, the general lost command.

      Yours sincerely was in Abuja penultimate Thursday to witness the historic spectacle. As one of the severest critics of the general when it became obvious that the transition was a grand charade, namely: The Transition As Transfiction; Alternatives to National Suicide, The Game is Up, At the Barricades, The Lonely Long Distance Runner, The Birth of Tragedy, Bridge Over Interim Waters, Remember Rueben etc, General Ibrahim Babangida remains a figure of deep historical fascination for this writer. There is an odd, deeply psychic entwinement between artist of power and the power-artist beyond abuse and vulgar recriminations. Perhaps as Gbolabo Ogunsanwo famously intuited, there is a Babangida in every one of us. The story of Babangida is also the story of Nigeria. One is deeply enthralled by how a deeply endowed and politically resourceful man could lead the nation and himself to such a cul de sac  from which it has never recovered. It speaks to some satanic foibles and deeply malign misconfiguration which are at the heart of the Nigerian Conundrum and which also makes the struggle for power and ascendancy in the nation far from being a beauty pageant.

      So when the opportunity to witness this historic gathering of the Nigerian consortium arose, it was too good to be passed over. But due to some distractions, the party missed the deadline and by the time we arrived at the venue, the gates were firmly locked with all vehicular movements prohibited as a result of the presence of the incumbent president and Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces, Senator Bola Ahmed Tinubu. In the event, rather than being well-seated inside the hall, we found ourselves outside among a crowd of berserk humanity pulling at everything and violently pushing and shoving everybody in a journey that ended in a brick wall of fierce looking security people who avoided direct eye contact so as not to be seen committing a heinous breach of protocol. After a lull, we were approached by a new set of security personnel who led us through a private door that suddenly opened into the gallery above the hall where the technical crew were ensconced as they captured the extravaganza for posterity.

      It was indeed a spectacular pabanbari, a historic showstopper straight out of the surreal cinematography that gave us The Cabinet of Dr Caligari. Minus the numerous dead who have paid their death duties to mortality, almost everybody who is anybody in the national eclipse of sixty years since the advent of the military was seated in that gloriously phosphorescent  hall like some alchemists of geo-political perdition. General Gowon did not disappoint anybody. Armed with his usual arsenal of platinum platitudes, amiable and good-natured Jack went on and on about how he owed the restoration of his rank to the celebrant and how earlier, he nearly made the young Major Babangida his aide de camp.

    Without any sense of irony, Gowon went on to assert that Babangida’s regime was the most consequential for the nation.  In the case of General Obasanjo despite having dismissed Babangida’s regime as deficit in honour, credibility and integrity in the heat of his collapsing Transition programme, he went on to shower sedulous praises on his subordinate and political benefactor urging him to take the possible backlash against his autobiography as an example of “bad belle”. The earlier quarrel between the two about who is a fool at seventy has been forgotten but the Nigerian jury has returned an open verdict of misadventure by mutual semantic cancelation.

       It might have been due to the combination of exhaustion and exhilaration but in the trance-like sedation one suddenly felt transported back to early Jacobean period in England watching the remarkable play, Volpone, or the Sly Fox, by Ben Jonson, a merciless satire on lust, cruelty and greed compounded by grand deception. Written around 1605/1606, Ben Jonson could well have had post-independence Nigeria in mind and devious military rule in the country and its unique exemplar in view. The main character, a man known as Volpone, already wealthy from dubious and fraudulent exertions, piled up additional riches duping people by pretending to be on the verge of death. Among his clients were the wealthiest citizens of the land. In the end, manipulated by his own manipulation, his ruse falls apart. He starts out fooling everybody but ends up fooling himself, a fool in fools’ costumes.

      At least the real Volpone, (or is it the fictional Volpone?) receives his just desserts and is punished for his diabolic trickeries. Nigeria’s problem can be traced to serial tragedy without catharsis or the prospects of it. Impunity which is a symptom of lawless anomie and a disordered society reigns supreme. No society can make meaningful progress in such circumstances. Having escaped punishment for abolishing the sovereignty of the Nigerian electorate, General Babangida has come back to demand to be paid for his pains, and he got it handsomely with a seventeen billion pay cheque. It is akin to being rewarded for fouling up the community pool. The Nigerian ruling class is unable and unwilling to purge itself of political and economic miscreants.

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       It is important to locate the current regime within the continual crisis of the abdication of ethical responsibility given the balance of extant forces by the time the military was forced to return to the barracks. Like all its predecessors in the post-military dispensation, the regime is not a product of a revolutionary momentum or organic radical stirring within the society, despite the upsurge of separatist rumblings in many sections of the country.

    It is a product of a unique conjuncture: a coming together of hitherto countervailing forces, namely a sizeable chunk of the progressive elements from the South West and vital conservative groups from the core north. The occasional creaking of the engine and the clattering of the wheels notwithstanding, if only the coalition can push through some fundamental reforms which are at the heart of  political and economic modernity without coming unstuck, Nigeria would have avoided a situation in which a handful of military officers can act in a way that alters the fundamental trajectory of the nation and a situation in which they condition themselves to confuse their personal destiny with the larger destiny of the nation.

       By the time he was driven from power, Babangida had become a major casualty of his own machinations. As a veteran coup plotter himself, Babangida knew when the odds were overwhelmingly against him. Sani Abacha had so loaded the military dice against him with strategic positioning of his arch-loyalists that he could take him down at any moment. It was the culmination of a power struggle which began the moment Abacha saved him from Major Orkar. In the confusion that followed, Abacha could easily have neutralized Babangida and taken over. But the dark-goggled general from Kano knew that he was such an object of disrespect and ridicule among the officer corps that a momentous bloodbath could have ensued.

    Shortly afterwards, a group of officers wrote to Babangida asking him to remove Abacha as Army Chief to save the army and the nation from further ridicule and disrepute. Afraid of inviting Abacha’s apocalyptic ire, Babangida dithered and vacillated for a while before settling for a compromise. Abacha was kicked upstairs but allowed to keep all the power and appurtenances of army chief including the official residence which he refused to vacate. So riled and miffed was the gentleman-officer who was designated as Chief of Army Staff, the excellent and impeccably conducted General Salisu Ibrahim ,that he exploded on the eve of his retirement that his beloved army had become “an army of anything goes”.

      In the case of Mamman Gulu Vatsa, it was obvious that the much admired poet was a victim of his own professional delusions and political naivete. Despite early youthful bonding and friendship, professional rivalry tore the two future generals and former classmates apart. The outward show of conviviality and camaraderie did not mask the rivalry and rancour. It was said that after General Babangida’s victorious putsch, Sani Abacha had approached him to retire Vatsa but Babangida told him to hold on. Unknown to him, Vatsa had been sent as a decoy to follow Tunde Idiagbon on pilgrimage to Mecca so that he did not constitute himself into a military nuisance when Babangida made his move. This was why he signed on late upon his return to Mecca.

       At the swearing in, Babangida jokingly asked his friend not to sign in Arabic language but Vatsa kept a stern straight face. But after returning to Abuja as minister, Vatsa began jumping and humping around letting everybody know that WAI was still in operation in the federal territory. This was like running a red rag in front of Babangida’s bull, or declaring his own autonomous territory. Shortly afterwards, Babangida gave a speech ominously hinting that those who were trying to cause problems for his regime would be neutralized with incisive professional skill. It was obvious that Vatsa’s goose had been cooked. Shortly thereafter in December 1985, the Gulu-born soldier-poet was arrested and charged with coup-plotting never to regain his freedom.

      It was the beginning of a period of bloodletting and officer-wastage that was unprecedented in the history of the nation culminating in a politically prohibitive annulment of the freest and fairest election in the history of the nation all because of a handful of military officers. If General Ibrahim Babangida seeks restitution and genuine atonement for his infractions against his nation, he should go about it the right way. The obscene spectacle in Abuja penultimate Friday was like putting the wrong foot forward.