Category: Sunday

  • Empress Natasha visits Obong Okon

    Empress Natasha visits Obong Okon

    As the Natasha affair degenerates into ethnic sabre-rattling among some cultural groups and their affiliated unions, the dreaded Ebira Cooperative Assembly has issued a proclamation from their deep forest reserves around Ogaminaza demanding for the manhood of all Efik/Ibiobio free born citizens for sacrifice to appease their native deities for the grave injuries done to their daughter in the senate and the resulting loss of repute and means of livelihood. Failure to comply will result in the forfeiture and confiscation of such manhood and their owners as may be deemed appropriate.

      Not surprisingly and since dry bones were being freely mentioned in the presence of an old woman, Okon was the first to jump into the fray.

     “Oga, he be like if say na dis Godswill  boy go finish all dem Efik and Kukuruku men. Dem Efik elders say make him sumbit him discharge papers but him no gree”, the mad boy noted with a wink.

      “And what is discharge paper?”

    “Ha oga no be dem thin dem go take go Rainbow Laboratory for Calabar to see if na true, true? Rainbow no dey waste time”, Okon sang with relish.

    “Get lost, idiot!” yours sincerely screamed at the urchin.

     But knowing the capacity and reputation of the dreaded group for the enforcement of their writ, all hell has been let loose at the National Assembly. Some serving and undeserving senators were sighted on the hallowed precincts of the senate fearfully clutching at their midsections and emitting a groan of acute discomfort. Okon joined the fray again and was having none of that nonsense.

    Read Also: Why NGF is silent on Rivers crisis, by DG Shittu

      “No mind dem yeye people. Na dem emergency loot dem dey hide. Dem no dey use dem head and dem cap again like dem Kano wuruwuru man. Na dem blokos and dem dross dem dey use for now. But dem don forget say Oyinboman sabi dem foolish Afrika man, well well.” Okon exploded as he fidgeted frantically probably thinking that his temerity had taken him too far. It did not take him long to find out. A few days after, the mad Saro dustbin woman charged into the living room, heaving and panting.

    “ Ha oga katakata come burst for Freetown. He get one better Oyinbo woman for outside who say him come see Okon ooo. Him name be Natasha. I don see her dey cry for inside television before before. Na touch and don’t go. Okon don carry firewood ants inside your bedroom. Dem don soak him garri finish ooo”, she charged breathlessly. Upon hearing this, Okon back-heeled and scaled through the perimeter fence, screaming “Ah, market don mature oooo at last!”

      “Ha Okon, wont you say hello to your visitor?” yours sincerely called out.

      “Oga, I no want dem woman trouble ooo. She don dey cause trouble for Efik people since him dey Secondary school for Abak. Him get one boy like dat…”

       “Okon, enough of that rubbish. What do we tell the lady?” snooper demanded, brimming with mischief and mirth.

       “Oga tell am say man don perish for Otedola Bridge”,

  • Obasanjo, Sowore and misguided revolutionaries

    Obasanjo, Sowore and misguided revolutionaries

    In his book, Nigeria: Past and Future, former president Olusegun Obasanjo continues his pastime of inciting the youth to rebellion. Since the last presidential election, he has made it his sing-song to indirectly call for a revolution, pretending that circumstances and hardship would inevitably lead to more aggressive and assertive action by frustrated and disenchanted Nigerian youth. In his new book, he says: “We are currently sitting on a ticking time bomb partly because of the system we practise, how corruptly we practise it, and how exclusively we practise it with impunity, callousness, brazen outrage and total disregard for any element of righteousness, integrity, accountability, sensitivity, compassion, inclusiveness and the fear of God. If the incumbent leaders do not shape up and satisfy the yearnings and demands of their people, especially the youths, who are disappointed, dissatisfied, bitter, hungry, angry, unemployed and disempowered, then the future is indeed very bleak, with no light at the end of the tunnel.”

    Then he adds: “These young people watch helplessly as their leaders tell them blatant lies unabashedly, while continuing their orgies of vulgar and ostentatious lifestyles rather than investing the money from the nation’s commonwealth in SMEs to create jobs and generate wealth. Should we have the misfortune of pushing these young people to the point of crossing the Rubicon, the country will pay a very high cost because a chain of events will be unleashed, the end of which no one can predict… I am not calling for violent change, but it will become a reality if we continue on the present trajectory.” The sanctimonious Chief Obasanjo is too clever by half. He identifies the country’s political system as a predisposing factor for the revolution he has seemed to hanker after since he lost the argument and the influence he loved to wield over Nigerian leaders. Yet, he operated the same ‘despicable’ system for eight years, and did not even remember to advocate its reform when he infamously lobbied for a third term. But, today, he is wise after the event.

    Read Also; I had no child to celebrate my 60th birthday, actress opens up on failed marriage, infertility

    Last year, he began calling for political reform that would create an amalgam of African or indigenous political system different from either the parliamentary or presidential system. No one gave him a hearing, for they recalled how a while ago he blamed the practitioners of the system for the inoperability of the system, suggesting that no matter how beautiful a system, the operatives’ insular and ossified worldview would make any system inoperable. In his new book, it was, therefore, not surprising that he frontally blames the system for the country’s malaise and adds that political leaders by their orientation have worsened the crisis. Chief Obasanjo is not dishonest about his panaceas. After the 2023 presidential election, and unwilling to learn from Nigeria’s recent history, he called for the cancellation of the results that were yet to be fully released. Failing that, he called for insurrection to stymie the entire electoral process. He desperately longed for a revolution. But he is not the only one.

    Days ago, on Channels Television, activist and founder of Sahara Reporters, Omoyele Sowore, also called for a revolution, employing sarcasm to deliver his message. Insisting that what was taking place in Rivers would make Nigerians rise against poor leadership and bad governance, he said that the proclamation of a state of emergency in Rivers would spur the revolution he dreamt about. But just in case anyone doubted his bona fides, he described himself as a proponent of justice, not an anarchist. According to him, “To be clear, I am not here to defend godfather and son. I don’t care about them. I hope they destroy themselves. I am happy because maybe this is going to force Nigerians across the country to wake up. They have been too complicit and docile as a result of cowardice. It will force Nigerians to complete the 30 days challenge and move on to the stage where it will be complete revolt. That is not me saying I love anarchy but love Justice.” That was of course not the first time he would campaign for revolution. His activism in the past few years has centred on ‘revolution now’.

    Chief Obasanjo and Mr Sowore are just archetypes of the many highly-placed Nigerians who romanticise revolution. Their fascination with revolution will likely continue for a fairly long time, as long as social contradictions exist. They imagine that revolutions happen to others, that their course can always be managed, and their outcome predictable and guaranteed. It is not clear how they read their history, or whether they took the trouble at all of perusing any history book. Had they made time to study History, particularly those of them eager to either influence Nigerian politics or determine who rules, they would be less dogmatic. They do not look like they are willing to moderate their revolutionary talk until it happens, if at all it ever happens. But as long as there is hardship, as long as discord persists among the ruling class especially, the revolutionaries will continue to shout themselves hoarse. They will completely ignore lessons from the French, Russian, Cuban, Italian revolutions, among many others.

    Despite his noise, Mr Sowore is incapable of deep reflections, as he is often led by emotions, bitterness and self-importance. But Chief Obasanjo is supposed to be significantly informed about national and global affairs. That he has chosen to remain superficial is a reflection of his personality flaw, the jaded leitmotif of his worldview and books. Added to the fact that he is incapable of appreciating insults, and because he thinks he is the sun around which everything revolves, there is nothing any book on world revolutions or counsel from experts on revolutions can tell him to sober him up and be less sanguinary about his political interventions. He is approximately 92 years old. If age has not tempered his hysteria, nothing ever will. For Mr Sowore, he appears sensible enough to know that his piffle about revolution does not stand a cat in hell’s chance of coming to reality except nature, not the social contradictions he parrots, plays a joker on Nigeria.

  • Controversial youth corper fools them all

    Controversial youth corper fools them all

    Ushie Rita Uguamaye, also called Raye, a 24-year-old youth corper serving in Lagos State, made social media sensation some two weeks ago when she lamented the hardship in the land and described President Bola Tinubu as a terrible president, and Lagos as a smelling city. It is not known what sanctions the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) would bring against her, but it turned out it was a social media challenge she and others threw themselves to find out who could best create a storm.

    Everything she said on TikTok ran counter to her lifestyle. She spoke of hunger, being forced to live on N33,000 per month allowance, when in fact she dined at expensive restaurants, wore designer dresses and hair, rode in Uber taxis, and generally lived above her means, regardless of how those means were procured. What saddens many Nigerians is not the prank she played on the country or the hypocrisy of her lamentations, but how easily she beguiled top political leaders desperately looking for a cause célèbre. The beguiled leaders even began casting her as a revolutionary lodestar, a lightning rod for their bitter recriminations against the government of the day.

    Read Also: Why NGF is silent on Rivers crisis, by DG Shittu

    That she fooled so many is perhaps not unusual; but that the fooled chose to focus on her laments to the exclusion of her intolerably bad manners shows how decadent, shameless and unintelligent Nigeria’s political leadership class and activist groups have become.  

  • Pious than the Saudis

    Pious than the Saudis

    What point do the four governors who have declared Ramadan holiday want to prove or achieve?

    Ibo la tun wa ja si yi’ literally means where do we find ourselves again? This is a Yoruba expression of shock or surprise at an occurrence or an outcome; that has been popularised on WhatsApp.

    This was the question I asked no one in particular when news broke about two weeks ago that four states, Bauchi, Katsina, Kebbi and Kano, have declared holiday in their public schools to ease the pains of the Ramadan fast on their students.

    The question of how did we get to the point that some state governments would declare Ramadan holiday is both

    poignant and scary. Our country is not yet there. Even countries that are already there are not shutting down their schools simply on account of observing Ramadan.

    None of the excuses given by the state governments for shutting down the schools holds water, at least given the experiences in Muslim countries that are supposedly holier than Nigeria. Muslims there are fasting without shutting down schools.

    It is easy to merely shrug off the decision of the four governors as their individual or collective cup of tea. That governors are at liberty to run their states however they like. But it is not that simple, especially in our kind of country where we must necessarily cross each others’ path in our quest to eke a living or even socialise.

    This is why I, like millions of other Nigerians who have seen the light and importance of Western education are naturally worried. We know we would be affected by some of these choices made or not made now or sometime in the future. Then, we would be told that, as Nigerians, there is freedom for all to move freely and live in any part of the country; a not-too-bad idea if, and only if we are on the same page on many issues. But how can we be on the same page in a country where people who need more than 24 hours a day to catch up with others in education are declaring frivolous holidays in addition to the numerous holidays attached to the school calendar?

    The Boko Haram that we have been fighting since 2009 is a product of this kind of mindset, but we did not seem to see it as a potential time-bomb. For several decades, we chose to see it as a mere religious or cultural matter, until it blew in our faces. Today, the entire country is pumping good trillions of Naira that could otherwise have been spent on more productive things into fighting it.

    Read Also: The case for a Tinubu second term

     There is a Yoruba proverb that says we should be concerned when our neighbour is eating a particular insect because when he cannot sleep as a result, we too wouldn’t be able to sleep soundly. This is what is happening in these states and we seem to be glossing over it. Given the potential of the four governors’ decision to wreak havoc, we should still be talking about it to see if we can make it the first and last time such a thing would ever happen in those states or elsewhere. Boko Haram and banditry have proved to us enough that the repercussions would not be borne by those states alone when ‘jungle matures’, to borrow the expression of one of our embattled governors. We are living in an interdependent world in which where ‘A’s freedom stops, ‘B’s begins.

    It is policies like this that make true federalism a sine qua non in our kind of country. Inasmuch as states are largely at liberty to pursue policies and programmes that they think are best for their citizens, they must also totally bear the consequences, positive or negative, of those decisions.

    I am sure there won’t be any thought of governors declaring Ramadan holiday if governors were responsible for funding their governments because the first thing that would come into the governors’ minds is, who pays for the man-hours that would be lost to such frivolous holidays? People in the private sector who know they won’t eat if they don’t work can better appreciate the argument here. Those who only wear flowing ‘babariga’ to Abuja every month-end to collect the ready-made handouts may not understand.

    This year, we are somewhat lucky in that both Ramadan and Lent (the Christians 40 days annual fasting in many churches worldwide) are being observed simultaneously. Ramadan started in the evening of February 28 while Lent started on March 5.

    The four states that declared shutdown of their schools can only imagine how ridiculous and unserious the country would have looked in the international community if virtually all schools in the country are shut down so that Nigerians — Christians and Muslims — can fast stress-free! That would have been another low for a country that needs to grab every minute as if it is its last on the development super highway.

    Anyway, may be those who have declared the holiday now would even have wanted us to celebrate the simultaneous observance of the fasting as a blessing in disguise then because it would have saved about 10 days of holiday for the country’s educational system!

    What I am saying is that we would be talking of closing down the schools for a minimum of 55 days in the years that the fasting do not overlap; that is at least 22 days for Ramadan and 33 days for Lent, respectively. If you add these to the myriad other holidays for schools alone – first term, second term and the long third term; first and second semester breaks, etc., not to talk of numerous other annual holidays declared by both the federal and state governments, then how many months do students have to be in school in a country with an acclaimed world record of about 18 million out-of-school children, with many in these states that are declaring holiday for fasting?

    To me, this holiday is just about the most recent retrogressive step that any northern governor would take concerning education in recent times. And, like such steps in the past, it is only a matter of time for it to backfire. Indeed, it is another way of taking education to the back seat, instead of its rightful place as the bedrock of progress and civilisation.

    I stumbled on a report on a repentant Boko Haram terrorist, Fatima Musa, as I was putting this piece together. It is very instructive. Fatima told a community gathering organised by the Allamin Foundation for Peace and Development that “We were deceived in our youth through a misinterpretation of religion, only to later realise that we had gone down the wrong path.

    “I regret tearing up my NCE certificate when I foolishly embraced the distorted belief that Western education was Haram (forbidden),” Fatima said.

    But something must be wrong somewhere: people say Western education is sinful; yet all the tools of terror that they bring to bear in their nefarious activities are products of the same Western education, from bombs to motorcycles, to the helicopters that drop food and ammunition for them in.the forests?

    Be that as it may, fasting is all about denial; it is not a tea party or sallah. Almighty Allah who created people in the north knew about the weather in the place. He knew there would be a preponderance of Muslims there who would want to fast during Ramadan. As a matter of fact, have people in those states not been fasting and going to school simultaneously all these generations? What scientific or empirical evidence do the governors have to show that things are different now and the Ramadan holiday is the solution?

    This was a policy they did without a thought for other stakeholders and they are saying their decision considered the greatest good for the greatest majority. Nigeria’s elites have a way of bastardising virtually everything. Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill who pronounced that theory obviously did not mean it the way the four governors have interpreted it.

    We know that our governors are powerful but they should be considerate in exercising their powers. The four governors that initiated this policy cannot be more pious than the owners of Islam, the Saudis. Mecca, in modern-day Saudi Arabia is considered the home of Islam. It is from this city that the religion spread. Yet, in Saudi, hot as it usually is, they have not declared Ramadan holiday in schools. What they have done is to adapt schedules, shortening hours or offering flexibility, to balance education with religious practice. If that country is developed today, one of the reasons is because it has taken education seriously. It is not

    about bigotry as some of our elite Muslims are won’t to do.

    Why would some governors here try to be more pious than the owners of Islam? Yet, it is not necessarily for Allah. This reminds me of a rather expensive joke cracked by one of our former presidents. Not too long after Sharia was introduced in parts of the north, the former leader saw a northern governor (I can’t remember whether at an airport or an event), and he expressed shock that the governor still had his two hands intact. The former president was referring indirectly to that governor’s legendary propensity for corruption! He was lost as to why Sharia had not taken its toll on the governor’s hands the way it had on a talakawa (Jangedi) that was amputated for stealing a cow!

    The northern religious and political elites must wade into this matter before the cankerworm becomes contagious and other states would see it as a model worthy of emulation. They need to impress it on the respective governors:

    Bala Mohammed (Bauchi), Dikko Radda (Katsina), Nasir Idris (Kebbi) and Abba Yusuf (Kano) that the holiday is an ill-wind that blows nobody any good.

  • SNAPSONG  249 

    SNAPSONG  249 

    March-ing  Song

    The year’s third month

         Has marched in

    Like a punctual pledge

         Its air bristling with February’s fables

    The year’s early rains

         Have touched the roadside brow

    With a timid lover’s kiss

         The grass’s liquid song

    Is brewing on the expectant lawn

         Where, once upon a tale,

    The dust’s brown carpet had risen and fallen

         Like an empire unsure of its fright and flight

    Read Also: Presidency: Tinubu not worried about 2027, focused on economy

    Still heavy in the wind

         Is the Expired General’s June 12 fabula

    Pious hagiography of a dissembler

         Whose acts undid a nation

    His crowd was large, their pledges appalling

         Billions of naira piled upon bigger billions

    Tributes traded tall tales with tributes

         In a shameless country, incapable of remembering

     March on, dear New Month

         April’s rains are just around the bend

    A nation choked with fabulous filth

         Sighs for breathless atonements  

  • SDP and the mythical 2027 coalition

    SDP and the mythical 2027 coalition

    Weeks after complaining that the All Progressives Congress (APC) had lost its way in the thicket of intraparty politics, and days after defecting to the Social Democratic Party (SDP), former Kaduna State governor Nasir el-Rufai has invited a number of political heavyweights to join him in his apostasy. He wants former vice president Atiku Abubakar, former Anambra State governor and past Labour Party (LP) presidential candidate Peter Obi, former Osun and Ekiti States governors Rauf Aregbesola and Kayode Fayemi respectively, and a host of other aggrieved APC leaders as well as ex-president Muhammadu Buhari loyalists to join him in some form of coalition inspired by the SDP to dislodge President Bola Tinubu from office and unhorse the APC. If they cannot cobble a coalition of parties to do the job, but must restrict themselves to the SDP, they can at least assemble a coalition of powerful political personalities.

    Of the lot, however, only Mr Aregbesola is as impulsive as he is, and might join him in the new hunting ground. The others are too cautious and calculating to leap without seeing which way the cat jumps. Mallam el-Rufai sees himself as an intrepid forerunner. Like Mr Aregbesola, he is really without a political party after he exited the ruling party. Before he officially left the APC on Monday, he had met Mr Aregbesola and Pastor Tunde Bakare in Lagos for undisclosed reasons. One of the reasons was probably his impending defection.

    As soon as both Alhaji Atiku and Mr Obi sense the irresolvability of the crises in their parties, and mortifyingly conclude they lack the capacity or influence to change the fortune of the parties, they will jump ship. Their destination may in fact be the SDP. Unfortunately, the common denominator of the aggrieved politicians is their lack of capacity to manage party disequilibria. The opportunistic Alhaji Atiku prefers a peaceful political atmosphere to thrive. The discipline, ideology, financial resources, administrative acumen, and diplomatic bargaining he needs to midwife peace in an unstable party are tedious and thankless to him. He has tried to browbeat the quarreling leaders of the PDP, but failed. Consequently, he is now so flustered by the intransigence of his fellow party leaders that he appears on the verge of giving up. Mr Obi, on the other hand, does not have any reputation for managing a political party, indeed any huge enterprise other than trading concerns, but he continues to give the impression he can run a huge country. His attempt at restoring order and purpose in the LP, which he and his coterie hijacked from their disenchanted leaders, was so desultory that it beggars belief he was once a governor. Mr Obi is also on the verge of leaping into the void.

    Read Also: I won’t stop Rivers Assembly from performing constitutional duties – Wike

    All the big names mentioned in respect of the so-called mega coalition are individuals whose political ideals have remained either tenuous or inchoate. Mallam el-Rufai talks glibly about progressivism, but there has been nothing in his politics or his administration as a governor that boasts an iota of progressivism. As governor in Kaduna, he was to all intents and purposes a reactionary leader, so vicious that his fellow party leaders despair of his style and messages. The indigenes, particularly from Southern Kaduna or those who differed from his sectarian worldview, were constantly disquieted by his methods and insults. While Alhaji Atiku has never been ideological or faithful to an ideal, Mr Aregbesola, of course, flowers only under supervision. Left alone, both leaders will cavort among theories of society and order, and immerse themselves in all kinds of political contrivances. How would they, therefore, fare in the SDP should all three and many others like them berth in that previously inactive and for now precarious party?

    It is possible they might fare well. There was no reason for Alhaji Atiku to dump the PDP for the APC in the 2015 elections, but he did, with gusto and utmost indifference. And there is no reason for Mallam el-Rufai to dump the APC now, but politics for him is about instant gratification, about immense satisfaction derived from calling the shots and playing God. Setbacks are temporary in politics, and one who is disfavoured today can bounce back into favour and reckoning tomorrow. For the former governor, that is an unnecessary gamble. (The president they are trying to unseat today demonstrated resilience in both the 2015 and 2019 elections when he stood solid behind the APC despite being twice sidelined immediately after the elections). Of the long list of those rumoured to be heading to the SDP, there is not one of them who possesses the staying power or loyalty to ideals and ideology. If they suffer any setback, they become incandescent with rage. They may stick together in their new party if they decide on defection, but because they behave the same way and boast a restricted repertoire, it is hard to see them reinforcing one another’s strengths or harnessing their collective potentials for a common good. Proud, intolerant, impatient, and completely averse to political altruism, they may end up being torn apart by their common resentments and ambitions.

    Alhaji Atiku has sworn to stay in the PDP. Months before he defected, Mallam el-Rufai also swore to stay put in the APC. And when directly or through their allies they had interactions with the leader of the SDP, Shehu Musa Gabam, they still insisted their visits were nothing but mere social interactions, having been friends for a very long time. The deception was unconvincing, but they could not care less. Weeks later, Mallam el-Rufai jumped ship. Who can tell whether months later, if the stalemate in the PDP persists, the former vice president would not himself jump ship with the same cavalierness he has been accustomed to nearly all his political life. But before the long list of potential defectors cross the Rubicon, they will do their best to placate the feuding forces in their current parties. They will savage the dissenters, mollify the amenable, and make one desperate last effort to snatch control of their parties. Alhaji Atiku, however, stands a better chance of succeeding in reining in the cantankerous leaders in the PDP than Mr Obi in the LP. As for the remnants of the aggrieved in the APC, they are painfully aware that the party could neither be undermined nor snatched. So, they will dither until the coast is clear, when it becomes plain they would be damned if they stayed in the party or damned if they didn’t. In line with their capricious politics, they might prefer to be damned outside the party where tantalising opportunities and errant cash probably await them.

    Worsening the dilemma of the defectors is the question of what dynamics are at play in the SDP, their new special purpose vehicle. The APC was founded in February 2013, some two years before the 2015 elections. Now would probably be the best time for the mass defectors led by Mallam el-Rufai to found a new party, had they possessed the capacity and conviction to lead a political revolution anchored on principles. But no, they are flighty and impatient. Yet, the SDP, a revived party first founded in 1989 but which went somewhat comatose in the intervening years, has remained a fringe phenomenon, receiving a marginal number of elected House of Representatives members totaling two in the 10th House, compared with LP’s 35. By every yardstick, Mallam el-Rufai and his potential or co-defectors should have embraced LP. But SDP is led by a northerner, and has been wooing defectors for years. The defectors will come in droves, as the late Gen Sani Abacha’s loyalists are beginning to exploit, including Major Hamza el-Mustapha, and they will bring tons of money. But they will lack integrity, ideology (contrary to their founding platform), and cohesion.

    Do not, however, rule out the migration of the motley Atiku crowd and aggrieved Southwest politicians with an axe to grind. If speculative reports could mention former vice president Yemi Osinbajo as a potential defector, then prepare for surprises. Most of the rumoured defectors will for now denounce any mention of their names, but at the right time, the fog will lift and the shape of the new SDP will become clear. What is, however, indubitable is that politicians who emerged from the 2023 elections aggrieved will attempt either a merger, which is increasingly looking unlikely, or assemble a grand army of coalition politicians. Their sole aim, as Mallam el-Rufai himself indiscreetly announced, is to unseat President Tinubu who they insist has offended them or created hardship for the common man, irrespective of what recent economic indicators say. It is too early to surmise what the prospects of the coalition would be; but judging from the men that would rally under the SDP banner, and their rather narrow aims, it would require a miracle for the party to walk well, not to say soar. 

  • Rivers crisis: Wike thinks, speaks in hyperbole

    Rivers crisis: Wike thinks, speaks in hyperbole

    Federal Capital Territory (FCT) minister Nyesom Wike is not always right on the Rivers crisis, particularly his camp’s quarrel with Governor Siminalayi Fubara. But, by a stroke of good fortune, and regardless of what many commentators say, the law has always been on his side. The Supreme Court judgement that gave the advantage to House of Assembly Speaker Martin Amaewhule and his loyal 26 lawmakers underscored Mr Wike’s patrimonialism, sending the legitimate legislature into raptures. The camp has not only been ecstatic and eloquent on the judgement, they have also been threatening and flexing. Months ago, the governor used to grandstand; but today, he is drained and sober. Like lions, the legislators sense the vulnerability of the governor and have begun to toy with the prey, locking the gates against him and embarking on indefinite adjournment.

    On Thursday, days after recognising the futility of summoning a meeting with the lawmakers, the governor abandoned the ploy and drove to the Assembly to present the budget. He was locked out, with consequences for the budget and release of statutory allocation. Talks of impeachment, or the likelihood of it, have also begun to rent the air. But both the Pan Niger Delta Forum (PANDEF), which sought appointment with President Bola Tinubu on the crisis, and the more aggressive Ijaw National Congress (INC) have given hints that the region would burn should impeachment occur. Mr Wike’s response was fierce and spontaneous, unmitigated by the peculiar circumstances of the region and the crisis itself, and indifferent to whatever consequences anybody might hint. Heavens would not fall if the governor was impeached, he thundered in response to threats by some militants to bomb pipelines. On Thursday, the president counselled PANDEF to help nudge Mr Fubara towards accommodation and peace, but it is unclear whether his firm talk about presidential responsibility towards maintaining law and order was not an indirect hint at anyone who might wish to undermine the Supreme Court judgement in any form, either by militant agitation or otherwise.

    Last week, this column admonished both camps and their paymasters to approach the court victory and defeat with noblesse oblige. Neither side has given heed to the counsel. Mr Fubara began by posturing magisterially and sounding tough despite his crushing legal defeat. But after a few days of sensing the reality of his dire situation, he quickly retraced his step and began speaking less about acquainting himself with the details of the Supreme Court judgement, and even declined to use commanding tones in his interactions with the legislators. It is, however, obvious his convictions are only skin deep; but at least he appears more amenable today than he was months ago. On the other hand, the Wike camp is still euphoric and hyperbolic. They have shown little appreciation of the magnanimity their legal victory requires of them, and have continued to press their advantage recklessly, brutally and dishonourably. This column supported them throughout their legal combat with the governor, but it is unable to countenance their actions and statements since they won unequivocally. They have before them a vanquished governor, but they are beginning to show that they might be undeserving of their victory. Mr Fubara would of course have behaved worse had he won the court battles, but the mettle of a man is reflected in how he treats his quarries once he had them cornered.

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    Mr Wike has in fact been far less gracious than the legislature. Apart from attempting to make God sorry for his camp’s victory, he has spoken disrespectfully of both the governor and the state. He clearly takes no prisoners. Yes, he stood on higher moral pedestal when the legal combat lasted, partly because the governor botched the legal contest and displayed unfathomable immaturity; but now Mr Wike seems to find the lower ground curiously enticing. No man worth his salt, no politician who knows his onions, and no leader worthy of the name should exult and speak so condescendingly like Mr Wike has done in the past few days. Though strangely nearly always right in his ratiocinations, he must not forget in the first instance that the Frankenstein he foisted on the state was entirely his doing in the name of instituting fairness in the state’s political leadership. Rather than be mortified by his mistakes, rather than see the tragedy those mistakes have cost everyone, not least his state, he appears fixated on only the court victory. His side indisputably won fair and square; but it has come at a huge cost. Should God and the courts and the people of Rivers begin feeling sorry for the now humiliated governor, Mr Wike could very well end up snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

    Even if Mr Fubara wants to follow his instincts to keep fighting a lost battle, thus sinking further in the quagmire, he can’t. He has played all his cards, including the joker, and lost disastrously. Should he engage in self-immolation and pretend to matrydom, it is still impossible for him to display any nobility in defeat. It is counterintuitive. That leaves only Mr Wike to be admonished. He holds the legislature in thralldom. That cannot be contested. He got a deserved legal victory. There is no more appeal. But he can quieten a little to ruminate on the dizzying events of the last few months. He could have lost had the courts been less professional. Instead he won, and got the local governments dissolved to boot. He may want to permute the future of the state without the menacing presence of Mr Fubara. But that would be a terrible miscalculation. In 2023, he made the incalculable mistake of backing the wrong horse for the governorship, followed by his own indiscretions and lack of capacity to judge character. He should now learn to be less forward about his political calculations and less cocksure of everything.

    If he can manage it, let the feisty Mr Wike lower the political temperature of Rivers State by sounding less intemperate and unfeeling. Though he has been described as unappeasable, let him be more subtle about mastering the state. Let him be more sensitive about the feelings of others, particularly the defeated, not to say the sometimes duplicitous leaders and elders in the state who might be secretly chafing at the turn of events. And let him nudge the legislature to sensibly and firmly treat the governor’s budget presentation professionally, and give respect to the office of the governor, even if the lawmakers privately detest Mr Fubara. And in God’s name, let Mr Wike not say or do anything that would suggest he owns the state. He does not, and cannot. But he can lead the state, help define its values, fight for it, even be prepared to die for it, and do what he woefully failed to do in 2023 – chart a clear ideological path and inspiring succession framework for Rivers. It is a thankless job, especially self-appointed, but it is the road to canonisation.

  • Obasanjo delivers another sucker punch

    Obasanjo delivers another sucker punch

    Ex-President Olusegun Obasanjo’s sucker-punch book, the latest in his often one-sided and provocative books, must have caught his victims off-guard. The former president’s books are seldom about him, except when they are delivered in panegyrics, but all about his enemies, opponents, and anyone he happens to take a dislike to. Presented at his 88th birthday event, a birthday some notable personalities insisted probably took place more than four years ago in a time warp, seeing that he is actually about 92, the book excoriates a number of public personalities and leading politicians. Without those exposed personalities constituting the raison d’être of his books, Chief Obasanjo would make heavy weather of his angry and menacing memoires.

    In the book, one of the two he presented on his birthday, newspapers indicated he reserved the most potent bile for both former president Muhammadu Buhari and his man Friday, Abubakar Malami, former Justice minister and Attorney General. Of President Buhari, Chief Obasanjo writes: “The most atrocious waste, enthronement of corruption and discouragement of officials fighting corruption took place under the watch of President Buhari and the devil’s workshop, his Attorney General, Abubakar Malami…Words are cheap and what needed to be done was left undone during Buhari’s civil administration regime from 2015 to 2023, the worst civil administration regime so far in Nigerian history…Maybe those ideas and thoughts were not his; he just came to read them as  written for him.” It is a merciless and unflinching putdown. But he says still worse things about the former president.

    And of Mr Malami, whom he nicknames or puns as Buhari’s ‘devil’s workshop’, he has this to say: “It was all part of Malami’s financial shenanigans and he played many of such to his advantage. His principal concurred, condoned, turned a blind eye and a deaf ear and paid lip service to fight corruption while cohabitating comfortably with corruption in multifarious ways…I was made to understand that some officials of the EFCC were terribly disappointed, discouraged, downcast and lost the pep in doing their work of fighting corruption as a result of this government action.” These are direct and actionable allegations, but Chief Obasanjo has never let public or legal opinion deter him. The former Justice minister, however, insisted he had not read the book, and would thus need some time to study it. He even doubted that anyone, not to talk of a former president, would pen those disgraceful allegations. He obviously seems to doubt the fecundity of Chief Obasanjo.

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    In effect, neither the Buhari crowd nor the Malami people have yet prepared themselves to respond to Chief Obasanjo’s sanctimonious rage. But they will. They will give their own thoughts after painstakingly studying the book so as not to miss anything of value to the case they might want to make against the former president. It is suspected that the responders will be thorough. They will squirm at some of the allegations the former president has leveled against them, and will be seriously upset that he is so merciless and so condescending; but they will find themselves compelled to rationally and convincingly refute the allegations. That task will not be easy, especially for Mr Malami whose reputation precedes him. But for President Buhari, whom Chief Obasanjo lampoons freely  in general and circumstantial terms, he can afford to be also vague and scurrilous.

    What makes the whole exercise gut-wrenching for President Buhari and former Justice minister is that no matter what they say, Chief Obasanjo will remain unflappable and implacable. He has given his enemies a piece of his mind, and has had the joyous pleasure of saying his worse first. He will shrug off whatever anyone might say about him even before getting the chance to read the pesky little book. It is Chief Obasanjo’s custom first to damn his enemies, and sometime his friends too, and to stoically ignore his enemies’ rebuttals, no matter how damaging. Nothing affects Chief Obasanjo, whether it is an allegation or not, no matter how personal or intimate, whether it comes from an outsider or an insider and family member, including his children or wives. The former president thrives on controversies, indeed luxuriates in them, and can’t live or breathe without them, even if you find his superior airs riling to the uttermost.

    In a measured way, President Bola Tinubu’s aides have offered some tentative responses to the scud missiles fired at their boss. The president suffered nothing more than collateral damage in the book, but his aides have been impelled to respond somewhat copiously as a result of what they describe as the serial illogic of the former president and his absolutely tendentious writings. It is not clear whether they have read the book yet, but they have probably depended on newspaper excerpts and interviews and social media offerings to compose their angry refutations. They have reminded Chief Obasanjo of his lethargy during his eight years reign, and the many unfinished projects that probably prompted him to aim for tenure elongation. President Tinubu’s aides, President Buhari’s spokesmen, and Mr Malami himself will soon find out that President Obasanjo is his own chief salesman, and that he has contrived yet again to stay in the limelight by making incendiary statements and allegations. He knows from experience that should he write a tame, lifeless book, no one would pay attention: not newspapers, nor social media, nor his enemies, nor those in office whom he relentless tries to outshine or denigrate. 

  • On the trail of misguided modernisation

    On the trail of misguided modernisation

    Misguided modernization is modernization gone awry, which can be as terrible as not modernizing. To modernize is to change and improve certain categories of human practice and activities in a way that brings them at par with best developments available elsewhere. This is not the same thing as merely aping developments from the west which is properly speaking westernization. But there is a scientific universality and unifying essence to human development irrespective of place and geography which render that distinction nugatory at best. This is because the west has been at the vanguard and frontiers of human development in the last six hundred years or so. Think of the Industrial Revolution, the Copernican Revolution, the internationalization of slavery and the hegemonic ascendancy of modern capitalism and Liberal Democracy and you begin to understand why modernization often appears to be synonymous with westernization.

       Yet because of the horrors of colonization and its epochal consequences, the easiest thing to do is to slander a country that is down and out on its luck. That does not require a lot of hard thinking, or does it? The hardest part is to come up with concepts, theories, abstractions and postulations that can help us find our way out of our rather unflattering circumstances. This, admittedly, is not a job for everyone. Thinkers are special breed. Not all academics are thinkers and not all thinkers are academics. As Hegel notes, “if reality is inconceivable, then we must forge concepts that are inconceivable”. The idea of a Professor Ibn Khaldun, Professor Confucius, Professor Obafemi Awolowo, Professor Karl Marx, Professor Georg Lukacs, Professor Jean-Paul Sartre and Professor Antonio Gramsci confounds in its sheer absurdity. Yet these avatars of cerebral ruminations laid the groundwork for the transformative reappraisals of the human condition in their various societies without laying claim to any special status.

    Modernization depends on the leadership-type that has seized hold of a country at a particular point and its vision or lack of it. Whereas some projects of modernization build their case from top to bottom incorporating insights gleaned from developed countries without substantial domestication or modification, others build their case from bottom up incorporating only insights and ideas that fit their purpose and original plans.

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    The first recalls the SAP protocols of General Ibrahim Babangida and his cohorts which eventually led to mass pauperization, de-industrialization and massive flight of capital without actually modernizing the economy or enhancing its fundamental categories whereas the other recalls the labours of creative and original Third World intellectuals such as Obafemi Awolowo, Lee Kuan Yew, Dr Mahathir Mohamad and their attempts to build an economically viable and industrialized society from scratch. Last week while some notable politicians were busy plotting how to capture power, a group of notable eggheads gathered under the auspices of the Obafemi  Awolowo Foundation to deliberate on how the phenomenon of Artificial Intelligence is having an unprecedented impact on economies, the foundation of nations and the global order in general.

      This is how it always begins and telling disparities begin to emerge within societies, nations, regions and within nations which often lead to unbridgeable and unmanageable gaps. The disruptive possibilities of the AI revolution are such that it can be described without exaggeration as only a shade short of a cosmic intervention in human affairs. This columnist has dwelt on such possibilities before at a Convocation Lecture delivered at FUNNAB five years ago (27/1/2020). Nothing will be the same again once humans create robotic humanoids capable of thinking and acting like actual beings. Unequal growth and development will pile up and proliferate. All the earlier political, economic and spiritual injustices and inequities among societies, nations and people associated with earlier technological leaps and scientific revolutions will pale into insignificance. Unlike before when they were formally colonized, this time around it is nations, people and societies stranded in the interstices of aboriginal existence that will beg to be colonized, to be incorporated into the rubric of civilized existence.  Societies and nations already crippled by a lack of sustainable modernizing imperative will find themselves treated like humanity’s poor cousins, uninvited and unwanted with their hordes of refuges screaming to be let in.                                                                  

    The crisis of misguided modernization afflicts a society in many ways, some of them direct and others opaque and oblique. But nowhere is it more obvious and impacting than in the crisis of tertiary education particularly in postcolonial nations of Africa. Here, the ideological dragnet of colonization throws a sanitary cordon on officials and officialdom making it impossible for them to think straight or to think beyond isolated bits and pieces of knowledge and information making holistic and systematized awareness and understanding of the swift currents of history unattainable. Once a society gets the education of its citizens wrong, it gets almost every other thing wrong. Ask those who escaped such as the rampart Chinese, the resurgent Singaporeans, the resolute Indians and the redoubtable Vietnamese. These nations and their people, despite being subdued and subjugated by invading conquerors at some point in their history, have refused to surrender the cultural and educational initiative to the logic of the invaders.

    The result is that once the conquerors depart, these ancient cultures are able to resume their march towards self-determination and self-actualization. Today, these nations are in the vanguard of emergent alternative visions of human emancipation and societal wellbeing forcing the hegemonic western civilization into a dramatic retreat on many fronts. The result has been a resetting and redrawing of the international order such as are witnessing in many theatres of human agency. Unfortunately, no African country as yet is showing up on the list of these agenda-setting societies. This is because they have in the main inherited the historic debilitations as well as the epistemological conundrum of their conquerors.

     Rather than attempting to leap out of the hell-holes of despair and programmed underdevelopment, they have been digging in furiously. Sometimes it is not out of a weak will or apathy but often a result of well-intentioned but clearly misaligned policies whose origins can be traced to a sense of inferiority traced to the disorienting propaganda of imperialism. This is clearly a good case of what is good for the goose not being very good or healthy for the gander. The educational and cultural needs of developed countries cannot be the same for underdeveloped and developing countries.

      A few weeks back, the Nigerian authorities announced what it thought was a major bonanza for the people of the old Western Region. This was the conversion of the iconic Yaba College of Technology to university status with the old HND scrapped and exchanged for “proper” degrees. On paper, this is supposed to be a major breakthrough. But when examined closely, it is rebranding which is actual de-branding. Whoever can imagine the American authorities waking up one day to rebrand the famous MIT as a university , or Georgia Tech and all the other world famous technological institutes in America as universities? Can the British authorities suddenly decide to rename Imperial College as Imperial University?  What about the great Zurich Polytechnic from where Albert Einstein wrote all his landmark papers, or the remarkable educational communes that litter modern France? The fact is that the excellent reputation and brand of these great institutions and schools inhere in their very name. To rename them is to obliterate their great brand.   The same goes for Yaba College of Technology.

     To be sure, a case can be made against the stigmatization and deliberate inferiorization of polytechnic education in Nigeria which has led to a great disparity in remunerations and unjust ceilings in terms of aspirations and expectations of reward. On paper, this stigmatization and inferiorization can actually be traced to the entrenched and protracted class warfare between the teeming proletariat and emergent bourgeois master-class in Britain which led to the founding of polytechnics and red brick universities to cater for mass education while they shut out the gates of the iconic universities to the rabbles and hoi polloi except the best and brightest of them. It is then left to structured discrimination and entrenched prejudices to ‘normalize’ these unwanted outliers.

      Unfortunately, this entrenched prejudice and class-based hostility was carried over to British colonial holdings in Africa and the Third World where polytechnics were deliberately stripped of status and prestige and made to feel inferior to the universities in terms of reward and remuneration and in terms of aspiration and expectations. They were supposed to produce the lower bulk of the civil service, undistinguished artisans and woebegone subalterns and coolies expected to find their way in the larger society while the elite universities were reserved for the production of the postcolonial mandarinate that will take over the running of the country from the colonial masters. It is remarkable that Lord Fredrick Lugard, the colonial progenitor of Nigeria, found the time and means to establish the University of Hong Kong during a solitary tour of duty while the University College, Ibadan had to wait for another forty years. It was obvious that decades after, Lugard still bristled from his bruising encounters with the robust and rambunctious Lagos colonial elites.

      The Nigerian authorities ought to be congratulated for restoring respect and parity to polytechnic education.  The minister of Education, Tunji Alausa  and Idris Bugaje the Executive Secretary of NBTE, deserve a pat in the back. One must not be seen making away with bundles of nails when their younger acolytes are building an edifice. However, the stick appears to have been bent too far in the other direction. Any developing country still needs its polytechnics. They are the base and hub of industrial transformation and economic modernization. Ask China, Singapore, Malaysia, India, Indonesia and Vietnam. Sixteen years ago at the Convocation Lecture of the Lagos State Polytechnic, Ikorodu, the columnist raised these issues in an attempt to restrain the federal authorities from embarking on misguided modernization by forcibly rebranding the Yaba College of Technology as a nondescript university thus robbing it of the potency of its brand                                                                        The lecture presented an alternative paradigm based on progressive developments elsewhere. The convocation lecture has been republished once in this column. This column has no intention of revisiting the issue. It was an eagle-eyed reader and former student now a professor at the University of Lagos who drew our attention to this a few days ago as he passionately pleaded with the columnist to revisit the lecture. What we have done this morning is to highlight the salient issues from the lecture.

  • Goodluck Jonathan’s confab regret

    Goodluck Jonathan’s confab regret

    Former president Goodluck Jonathan has been consistent in adumbrating reasons for the non-implementation of the 2014 National Conference report submitted in August of that year. The country was on the verge of the 2015 elections, he said, and with the defection of Speaker Aminu Tambuwal, the presidency lost control of the House of Representatives. Should he press ahead, with a possibly hostile parliament, it was unclear how he as president could drive the far-reaching reforms indicated by the report. In 2022, he gave these reasons for balking on implementing the conference report. During a condolence visit about two weeks ago to the family of Ayo Adebanjo, the late factional leader of the Yoruba socio-political group, Afenifere, who died at the age of 96, Dr Jonathan reiterated the reasons for not pressing ahead with the presentation of the confab report to the legislature.

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    The former president may have been consistent on the confab report controversy, but he left unanswered speculations that he convoked the national conference in the first instance because he wished to use it to wield electoral advantage over his opponents. He knew, his critics argued, that the report would be released not too far from the already scheduled national elections, and he hoped that if he started work on it, and it proved to be popular, he would be reelected to finish the good work on restructuring the country. It was a gambit, his opponents said, but one fraught with a lot of risks. In the end, though the Tambuwal defections he talked about wreaked havoc on the PDP and got in the way, the gamble did not pay off. Despite his consistent and even coherent argument on the confab report, few Nigerians think he was honest about the reasons for leaving it unimplemented.