Category: Tatalo Alamu

  • Scheherazade runs out of plots

    Today is the sixth night after Christmas. In keeping with the tradition of merriment and revelry which lasts a whopping twelve nights before the curtains are finally brought down, snooper this morning brings you a superb tale of magical fantasy in which political sadism flows from adultery and betrayal of love.

    It is the story of a Persian king who kills a thousand lovers in revenge for an earlier unfaithfulness until he was himself conquered by superior guile and cunning. After that, we bring you a warmed up story of political developments in the animal kingdom called Nigeria. First published in April last year, Elephant and Castle is a weird and accurate preview of the presidential succession duel that has now hit Nigeria full blast.

    Now, will 2013 move over so that 2014 can be ushered in? No, not yet. The old witch is still not for turning. Nigerians should thank their stars that this was not a leap year, or things would have leapt out of hand indeed. The outgoing year would be remembered for its unhurried pace; its absolutely lethargic splendor. The year would not be shooed off the stage. The sting was in the tail. It was towards the end that events assume a furious and frenetic pace. “There are decades when nothing happens and there are weeks when decades happen”, according to Lenin. This is the year that the post-military elite pact known as the Obasanjo Settlement finally unraveled and Nigeria’s powerbrokers lost the plot.

    In retrospect, it should now be clear why the year at first unfolded with such plodding reluctance. Despite their epic transgressions against the nation and its people, the dominant political class was being offered a final chance. But it was too late in the day. Letters soon began exploding all over the place like historic firecrackers heralding the end of an era. You leta (later) me and I leta (letter) you, shikena.

    There is a touching irony about all this. Not being literary-minded or even particularly literate, the Nigerian political cabal has forgotten that to be considered properly epistolary, even letters must have a plot. The greatest political letters are not hurried invectives and caustic diatribes hurled at opponents like political grenades, but finely crafted and finely considered gems combining gravitas with elegance.

    Despite all the letters, our problem is that we are saddled with an unlettered political class. Otherwise, it ought to be obvious to them that when you lose the literary plot, you also lose out in the political conspiracy and the consequences can be chilling. This was the whole point of Scheherazade in her political duel with the mighty king of Persia. As the Shakespearean clown in Twelfth Night says, better a witty fool than a foolish wit. But who is Scheherazade?

  • Medical dystopia in Nigeria

    Medical dystopia in Nigeria

    ( The Ghost of Olikoye Ransome-Kuti)

    It is just as well that the association of medical doctors in Nigeria has downed tools again, this time in what they call a warning strike. They will not be particularly missed. At this point of acute national misery and distress, it is important to recall the memory and legacy of one of our past heroes. While his memorable stint as Federal Minister of Health lasted, Olikoye Ransome-Kuti laboured like a yeoman to redeem and sanitize the nation’s public health sector. He was as humane and conscientious as he was squeakily clean and overflowing with personal integrity. He made it clear, just like his illustrious forebears and siblings, that another country was possible.

    All that has now gone to the dogs. No one in living memory can possibly remember when last the public health system in Nigeria functioned hitch free without some threats of an impending industrial action with its range of ominous possibilities. When this is not the case, fake drugs, under-strength medication in all its Oriental menace and sheer professional perfidy combine to put finishing touches to the hapless victims.

    There are millions of suffering and ailing Nigerians who have already commended their souls to the almighty. They are just going through the motion, waiting for the inevitable end and secretly hoping that somebody might actually fast track the whole procedure of terminal disappearance. It says something about the quality of life in a nation when many of its people secretly long for death.

    The current industrial action by the doctors, coming on the heels of the recently suspended ASUU strike which lasted a whopping six months, says a lot about the dire state of tertiary education and the public health sector in Nigeria. Every year, our public universities continue to churn out half-baked graduates, particularly medical doctors, who seem to be armed with a professional license to kill. And boy, how these chaps have been at it. It is the time of Hippocratic homicide.

    But we must not confuse the symptom with the disease. In as much as it is correct to say that many doctors contribute to the massive wickedness of the system, they are also victims of its fundamental cruelty and injustice. There is often a neat and exacting symmetry to a nation’s fate that may elude many. The rains did not start beating us yesterday.

    Next weekend, it will be thirty years since the then Brigadier Sani Abacha’s famous dawn broadcast consigning the inept civilian government of Shehu Shagari to the trashcan of history. As part of the justification for the coup, Abacha famously dismissed our hospitals as having become mere consulting clinics. Ten years after by December 1993, Sani Abacha had transformed into a four star general and was about to unleash a kleptocracy on the nation that has only been surpassed by the thieving incompetence of the current government.

    Thirty years into this cruel charade, our hospitals have moved from being mere consulting clinics to alternative mortuaries. The whole nation itself resembles a vast crematorium bristling and bursting with the dying and the dead. There is the unmistakable odour and the putrid fragrance of death and chrysanthemum everywhere you turn. Nigerians are falling in their thousands everyday often needlessly and most time heedlessly. A people who allow this to happen to them have forfeited the rights to be called citizens. For tyranny to endure, there must be compliant and craven subjects.

    This morning in a personal dimension to this consuming national tragedy, we bring you a moving tribute from a father to a beloved thirty four year old daughter who died a few weeks back in October after a botched fibroid surgery. According to the late Bola Ige, nothing can be more cruel and poignantly punitive than living to bury your own adult child. We mourn with our good friend, Dr Ezenwa F. Chizea and we wish him and his wife the fortitude and grace to bear this huge loss of a promising daughter.

  • Conscience is incorruptible and its judgement eternal

    The only tangible manner I ease my mind of tension is to write and scribble down thoughts as they come.

    Injustice stinks and no one wants it heaped on himself or herself which makes those who selfishly supplant justice with injustice/falsehood worse than raw sewage and therefore not worthy of their being, irrespective of what social status they had attained.

    However, thanks to goodness, all humans, irrespective of the unworthiness as humans few have attained, are endowed with Conscience.

    Conscience is the spirit of God alive in every human. At death, it departs the body; which then makes a dead body a conscienceless entity.

    Death is a coward; a faceless coward devoid of any physical substance, though it possesses a dreaded saddening effect, and more horrifyingly it is never cowed.

    Though, a coward, it has dominion over all creations of God who invariably must fall prey to its ambush. Ogochukwu became a victim of that cowardly ambush on 16th October, 2013.

    Conscience is akin to death in some respect, though unlike death is never ‘silent’, and is not a coward. It boldly talks all the time but just to the individual in whom it resides. Conscience is a persistent tormentor, but lacks the attribute of death to ultimately accomplish its mission/objective.

    Conscience is of God while “will power” is human. A being has control over his/her will but not of his/her conscience.

    God gave us “will power” to manage and utilize as we deem appropriate but in His goodness He graciously instilled within each and every human the spirit of caution – conscience to moderate our humanness. A being has control and the ability to manipulate his/her “will power” but not his/her conscience – the will of God in him.

    Unfortunately, human considers it fun when he thinks he has tamed, domesticated and subjected his conscience to the whims and caprices of his “will power”. However, a good and decent person, even within our human perspective, is one whose “will” operates reasonably in tandem with his conscience.

    Everyday of our lives, we are on trial, each person’s conscience, acting as the accuser, prosecutor and score keeper. Conscience is divine, incorruptible and heavenly as it is aware of both our inner, and outward acts and intents. We are dead and worthless the instant the Spirit of God – Conscience departs our corruptible body!

    At death, our final judgement is equally instant, as conscience at its departure instantaneously collates our pluses and minuses.

    At Island Maternity Hospital, Victoria Island, Lagos, where my angel, Ogochukwumelum gave up the ghost in the afternoon of 16th October 2013, one of the senior doctors that attended to her – while in the process of breaking the “Nsugbe Coconut” – the letting out of unpleasant information, expressed disgust at the negligence and lack of professionalism that did my daughter in, at the hospital that brought her to them. And dutifully insisted on an autopsy, which I then imagined was to assist the medical profession checkmate the growing and alarming lack of professionalism, impunity and ‘I don-care’ disposition currently soiling the nation’s health care delivery system.

    It later, after the fact, dawned on me that his insistence was to fulfil State Government’s required righteousness that an autopsy must be carried out when death results within 48 hours after admission. The intent of that requirement is definitely noble, but the phenomenon currently known as “Nigerian factor” makes nonsense of all things noble.

    I write this with streams of tears running down both cheeks simply because I very much believe that the possibility existed that Ogo would still have been around doing her Ogo things only if some humans she unfortunately surrendered her destiny to had behaved, and acted conscientiously – the way and manner God meant for them to act and behalf.

    I mourn, and in ever flowing tears not simply because I lost a daughter but because of the way, manner and circumstances that lost manifested. The grief is that it could still happen to someone else, as undoubtedly it had happened to countless Nigerians before October 16, 2013.

    My heart ache because I believe very strongly that Ogo died an avoidable death.

    Why was my daughter from whom the Doctor had earlier that evening removed two bundles of fibroid mass physically bundled at about 2am, not in an ambulance but in the doctor’s private car, dripping blood like a sacrificial offering from County Hospital in Ogba not to any of the hospitals in Ikeja – the State Capital where Lagos State University Teaching Hospital and many other notable hospitals are located but to Lagos Island Maternity Hospital, several kilometres away? Why?

    Please can anyone of my country men and women console me with an answer? Is it possible that the doctor has a god-father or a protector who reigns supreme at Lagos Island Maternity Hospital?

    The answer, Nigeria, is blowing as usual in the wind. But our all knowing Father definitely knows. Incidentally the content of the ‘Nsugbe Coconut’ also revealed that my daughter made it to Island Maternity with 6% blood content, while her womb was filled to the brim with free blood. Probably a good percentage of the over 10 pints of blood administered to her during, and post operation ended up in her womb cavity. It also revealed that her internal organs notably her kidneys were messed up; all in the course of removing fibroids.

    I am bleeding with grief and disappointment but I can’t tell where all that blood is draining into, probably into my chest cavity.

    Ogo, my darling, you are not Christ, though a committed believer, I am sure that the blood that they made you freely let out would touch a good number of hearts. That alone would mean it was not let out in vain, but probably for a cause.

    At this point in time, my mind is relatively at peace. I have forgiven and the tears will soon dry up but my memory, sorrow and disappointment may never end. So God please help!

    Nigeria, our dear country, needs to be born again and be the country it was meant to be, where truth and justice are not just mere rhetoric but shall ever reign supreme.

     

    Dr Chizea, a structural engineer and writer, lives in Lagos.

  • Biological coup for King Lear

    Some fathers do have ‘em indeed. It does appear as if William Shakespeare, the great bard of Stratford on Avon, has decided to spend Christmas in Nigeria. And while we are still on the subject of fathers and their daughters, it is meet to report that there are fathers and there are fathers just as there are daughters and there are daughters. All this tatalosque verbiage can be reduced to a neat mathematical formula of elegant severity: like father like daughter.

    Put in another way, a mamba cannot father a mouse. The genetic prison is the most implacable incarceration camp for humanity. We inherit most of our character traits. Until astute genetic engineering removes unwholesome traits from individuals at source, many will be stuck with the unpalatable manifestations of remote ancestry.

    As Euripides, the great Greek playwright, has noted: call no man lucky until the moment he has taken his luck to the grave. Or as the Yoruba will put it, nothing on earth can make unfair privileges and unearned distinctions survive for long. No matter how long it takes for the Egungun season to end, the children of its chief priest will eventually join other plebeian children in the queue to buy akara.

    There seems to be terminal trouble in the house of old King Lear. Remember the half-crazed Shakespearean king who put his family and entire kingdom in acute jeopardy by his own foolhardiness? Old tricks often boomerang when new kids appear on the block. The current trouble was started by the old king himself. Despite the bullying and blustering, many had long suspected him to be of a politically unsound mind. Drunk with habitual delusion of grandeur, he had made a bold move on the political chessboard to disown and politically castrate his own anointed political son and successor. The gambit worked very well. All hell was let loose. To flee was not an option, but to fight is an equally dangerous proposition since the old king knows where all the bodies are buried and the weaponry too.

    But help came dramatically from an unexpected source. Aided by dangerous proximity, it was at this point that the favourite daughter, obviously bitter and resentful, chose to lob a grenade into the palace. Greater hell has been let loose. The old king was pinned down by massive sniper fire, while the other people search for a final solution. Now, is this pure political coincidence, or some chilling revenge plot that bears all the hallmark of the old devil himself? Like the old past master, and obviously with equally vindictive relish, the younger one seems to have chosen the moment, time and place with the exacting precision of a vengeance-contorted soul. Destiny doesn’t get more genetically determined.

    Out of the dark and sinister plots of private revenge coinciding with public vengeance may yet come the noble seeds of national emancipation. This is one of the brutal paradoxes of human history. It may be too late in the day to save the new king. The Woods of Great Birnam may have already appeared on the barren fringes of Dunsinane. Snooper is not a soothsayer, but peeping into the political horoscope, it seems that this time around, the old king himself may not escape lightly. Whatever its portents for the nation, a classic biological coup appears to be unfolding in the Palace of Pauper Patriots.

  • Deus ex Mandela

    Deus ex Mandela

    In the beginning they took Mandela away from his family. In the end, we are taking him away from his country, his continent, his people and his race. The former rebel leader and South African terrorist has become a global icon. There are not many of these special people in human history. They can be counted. It is a moment to be cherished and savoured. Mandela’s origins will not be denied in future, but he has moved from being an African hero to a world-historic personage.

    No matter what mortal remnant of Nelson Mandela is buried tonight, he has already achieved immortality. For a man who wanted to be no more than a competent stick fighter back in his backwater village, it is a starry ascent. For a prince of a minor royalty—and an African one at that— it is a dizzying ascension to the global pantheon of royalty. Before our very eyes, Nelson Mandela has become a king among kings and a god among human deities. It doesn’t get more celestial.

    It is going to be a long farewell to Nelson Mandela. In a thousand years, they will still be talking about this man who was neither a military hero nor a religious avatar but who might have effected a paradigm shift in global leadership without being either. There will still be tyrants and sadistic buffoons in power, but it is a teachable moment for global leaders, particularly their African variants; a lesson in Leadership 101.

    A paradigm shift occurs when a man or woman of exceptional vision and genius discovers a fundamental aspect of the nature and principles of a particular problem thus altering its perception and possibilities forever. Gaston Bachelard, the great French mathematician, philosopher and critic, calls it coupure epistemologique or a disruption in the normal order of things. It is not just a triumph for one extraordinary individual but a triumph for humanity as a whole, a potential catalyst for irreversible change.

    This is probably why the public outpouring of grief has been unprecedented. Every corner of the human globe has been mourning its favourite son. The public adulation of this saintly man has been without any parallel in recent history with the crowd of dignitaries at his funeral trumping the epic departure of Winston Churchill almost fifty years earlier. Churchill was a hero to many. But he was not a universally acclaimed hero. Even at his funeral, there were murmurs of disapprobation from die-hard adversaries. This is the ultimate plight of the political hero. Unlike Churchill and other great politicians, Mandela was a sovereign of the moral universe.

    So right before us, we are witnessing the first tentative steps towards the political canonisation of this extraordinary man. Mandela is on his way to becoming a secular saint. Something good has come out of Africa. The first continent which became the last has come first again. Something new always comes out of Africa, but this time it is not political oddities and balls; or self-declared cannibals such as Idi Amin, Marcos Nguema, Samuel Doe and Emperor Jean-Bedel Bokassa.

    To be sure, the contradictions which drive a paradigm shift are not exhausted by the shift itself. They are often supplanted or displaced to another realm of human agency. In other circumstances, revolutionists will stay bray for the blood of oppressors. And it will be foolish and futile to ever imagine that Nelson Mandela has solved all or even most of the problems of South Africa, particularly the problems of racial and economic marginalisation.

    But without political equality, economic equality is a mirage; and without authentic national liberation you cannot even begin to contemplate economic liberation. A population that has been enslaved for centuries cannot become an economic powerhouse by itself overnight. Without the production of modern knowledge and the requisite technological know-how, it will be difficult to leverage political liberation to achieve economic freedom.

    Mandela was a pragmatic visionary. He knew the potential strengths of his South African people as well as their practical weaknesses. He did not suffer mystical delusions. Slaves do not become masters overnight except in a situation of anarchy and protracted chaos. To have insisted on pure justice and outright victory leavened by vengeance was to invite the apocalyptic nightmare that is Haiti to be enacted on African soil. Several centuries before South Africa, runaway African slaves won the military bet but lost the political and economic wager, or waivers if you like.

    It is alright to talk about tolerance, forgiveness and magnanimity, particularly when the shoe is on the other foot and we know from whom compassion is required. But it is also important to remember that there are people who do not forgive or forget. The plight of Haiti is a sad reminder. South Africa was lucky to have a Mandela at the precise historic conjuncture somebody like him was most needed.

    With his avuncular simplicity, his exceptional clarity of mind and purpose, his nobility of soul and above all the overwhelming authority of personal suffering, he was able to rein in and steady the most impatient and starry-eyed idealists among his colleagues and associates who combined the two most outstanding qualities of the revolutionary actor: a passion for justice and equality and a passion for vengeance. He had given everything to the struggle, including his prime and prime happiness. He could not be accused of selling out.

    A man who was born to be a king, Mandela was at once a conservative radical and a radically conservative humanist in the best traditions of those terms. For him, humanity was all one. He was genuinely curious about people and had an uncommon communion with the human soul. His inner essence glowed with affection and warmth for people, irrespective of race, nationality or creed.

    This was why he must have been particularly perplexed by the ideological monstrosity behind the apartheid creed. It was also why he decided to fight the ungodly system with the last drop of his blood. For him, apartheid was not a racial aberration but the concoctions of a few deformed souls who imposed the dogma on an embattled people. It was borne of fear of the other masquerading as the fact of human existence. Those who will subdue the unworthy dogma are not those who have collaborated with it but those who have stoutly and proudly resisted its tyranny.

    All of this does not exhaust the Mandela magic. There are times when actual life imitates art and we may have to borrow a term from dramatic literature in order to plumb the depths of the vastly intriguing and immensely magnetic personality behind the façade of Olympian calm and fortitude. Mandela is the living equivalent of a Deus ex machina or god out of the machine.

    In ancient Greek Drama, a Deus ex machina is a divine contraption lowered on stage when the internal process and inner dynamics of a play could no longer provide a way out or a neat resolution of the conflicts and contradictions arising from the drama. The creative artist seems to surrender his authorial rights to the ultimate creator in a wild and improbable gambit which could only be a testimony to the wondrous ways of God. For some, it is a manifestation of sheer artistic incompetence, while for others it is the ultimate paradox and parable of creation.

    “At any rate”, Leon Trotsky famously thundered, “we shall no longer accept tragedy in which God gives orders and human beings meekly submit”. Yet as in Greek plays which require a Deus ex machina, so also is it the case in the affairs of real men and women. There are times in human affairs that things get so messy as to warrant the introduction of a God-like character.

    The apartheid system had deadlocked into a nasty and bloody stalemate with the potential to infect the whole world. The victims could not militarily prevail and the victors could not politically survive. It required the introduction of a person of extraordinary compassion, tolerance and the superhuman capacity to forgive and forget. This was Nelson Mandela, and by his example he has left the world a better and nobler place than he met it.

    Two moments of Mandela’s magic will be etched forever in human consciousness. First was when he stepped out after 27 years in captivity for the whole world to behold. He was frail but proud and erect ; his head bloodied but unbowed and he was beaming a dignified but inscrutable smile. For many, a coiled mamba was about to be unfurled on South Africa with the possibility of permanent civil war and a millennial bloodbath.

    The second was when the great man stepped out donning the jersey of the South African Rugby Team, the very symbol of apartheid macho. Earlier, Mandela had prevailed on his more impatient colleagues not to replace the logo and emblem of the team. The white populace must be given a sense of belonging in the new South Africa. This was the moment Mandela, by the power of personal example, finally brought down the iron curtain of racial segregation. Many white South Africans openly sobbed.

    Snooper bids a fond farewell to this illustrious son of Africa and scion of the old African kingship system at its most stellar. The tears are not for Mandela but for ourselves and why it often takes wars and strife to find out that irrespective of race, creed, religion and civilisation there is a common humanity that binds all of us together. It is wondrously ironic that it has taken Africa to teach the world that elementary lesson.

  • Okon bids Mandela goodbye

    It was early morning. Snooper had been groggy with sleep. The wild carousal in the village was finally taking its belated toll. A historic hangover ruled the cranial roost. As a freak rain clattered and pounded the aluminium roof, Snooper coiled up in bed like a mamba, waiting for whoever would be foolish enough to knock the door. Suddenly, all hell was let loose as Okon barged in, frantic and panting with excitement.

    “Oga, oga, where you dey? Baba don die oooo”, the crazy boy chanted breathlessly.

    “It’s about time”, Snooper moaned, cursing the mad boy’s ancestors.

    “I no dey talk about dat wuruwuru Baba. Dat one dey do two fighting with dem Jonathan. Na dem go kaput each other. Hausaman kill Fulaniman no be case for court. Na crazy man go carry him crazy pikin or as dem Yoruba people dey say na baba’s goat dey chop baba’s corn.. But as I dey say na Mandela who come quench ooo” Okon sang.

    “What?” Snooper screamed and jumped out of bed to switch on the television. There indeed an iconic cameo of humanity was unfolding. A million dancing feet were converging on Mandela’s residence. It was a modern epic of grief and celebration of a life lived truly and totally at the behest of the people. Snooper was close to tears. A few days after, Okon came in again, this time dressed like a traditional chieftain from the South South with resource control cap to match.

    “And where is Etubom Okon coming from this time?” Snooper sneered.

    “Oga I dey come from dem South African Embarrassy” the crazy one retorted.

    “To do what?” Snooper demanded.

    “I go sign dem condomless register for Baba Madiba.” The mad boy intoned.

    “I see. Is it riffraff like you that they want there?” Snooper asked trying to suppress his mirth.

    “Oga, dis one no be time for big grammar. Dem Rufai dey there and dem Rafiu boku for dem place. He get one old Yoruba politician who dey cry say him papa don die, so I tell am say if him no clear for Okon, I go beat am silly. Dem Naija leaders no get shame at all. If dem Mandela be Naija man dem for don kill am for Kirikiri long time. You no see how dem Mandela people come put Jonathan for dem small corner? Na African proverb be dat”, the boy ranted.

    “Okon, so what did you put in the register?” Snooper cautiously enquired.

    “Ha, ha, I tell Baba Mandela, make him go well. He don try him best, But I tell am say if suffer no whack am enough, when he dey come back make him come back as dem black man. Dis time suffer go whack am well well. Dem Oyinbo people go jail am again and dis time him go kaput for jail..”

    It was on this note that Snooper waved away the mad boy.

  • Camelot, fifty years on

    Camelot, fifty years on

    (On the myths of nations)

    Some moments past mid-day (Central Time) on November 22, virtually the whole of the United States stood still for one minute. It was in honour and commemoration of John Fitzgerald Kennedy, the thirty fifth American president, who was slain exactly 50 years earlier. In downtown Dallas where the great reckoning around a small plaza took place, the mayor waxed lyrical describing it as the moment when hope collided with hatred. Fifty years later, the myth of Camelot survives in the heart and imagination of most Americans. And so does the Kennedy mystique.

    Camelot was not original, to be sure. It belongs to the legend of King Arthur and the fabled knights of the round table. But it was the magical motif that John Kennedy chose for the moment. It was meant to invest his administration with the aura of nobility of purpose. Yet there are those who insist that it was not a profoundly imaginative or a particularly brilliant choice of myths. King Arthur, they point out, was a political failure and a cuckolded husband who lost both his kingdom and his queen.

    However that may be and whatever the fatal foibles of their king, it is the glorious legacy of the knights in shining armour and of their gallantry and chivalry that has been handed down from generation to generation. When and where it mattered most, Jack Kennedy always had his heart and political instincts in the right place.

    It will be foolish and futile to continue to debate whether nations need myths or not. All human societies and nations in particular thrive on imaginary delusions. This is the only way to nudge humanity towards a higher telos. When it is not a particular myth of creation, it is a potent legend of re-creation. Certain existential dilemmas and intolerable contradictions such as death and the finitude of existence are resolved at the level of the imaginary.

    So it is that in some traditional societies, death and dying which ought to be the ultimate nemesis of the ruling class in its firm, final and irrefutable logic, is magically transformed into a natural ally of the dominant caucus. The king does not die, he merely ascends to the ceiling. Thus the natural pecking order subsists in life hereafter. There is no point in killing the king. You are merely consigning him to the inconvenience of early dinner somewhere else, and in the same royal splendour.

    But some nations and societies are better and more collectively talented at self re-creation and ceaseless self-invention. The myth of Camelot was particularly good for America and the Kennedy clan at that point in time. America had been founded amidst such impassioned rhetoric and grandiloquent grandstanding as a new haven of freedom and equality for humanity. But the actual reality was less than flattering. Slavery, pogrom and genocide of the local populace were the order of the day. When Abraham Lincoln proclaimed democracy as the government of the people by the people and for the people, universal adult suffragette was a myth and the true political emancipation of the Black people was still centuries and momentous protests away.

    Fifty three years after, the election that brought Jack Kennedy to the American presidency looks like a done deal. But it was in reality a hard slog and obstacle course indeed, owing as much to Kennedy’s personal charm and magnetism and equally to the potency of the ruthless political machine the older Kennedy had put in place.

    The very idea of a Catholic president was considered an affront and an aspiration of incredible temerity to the delicate political palate and sensibility of the real American power brokers. A generation earlier, the Irish populace was regarded with the hostile political curiosity reserved for scumbags. The Boston Brahmins viewed the Irish as belonging to an inferior caste and Joseph Kennedy in particular as a dangerous bounder. It was not until old Joe stole the thunder from them by marrying into the local nobility and bootlegging his way to stupendous riches that they began to reckon with him.

    The election of Kennedy was a watershed in American history, just like the triumph of Barack Obama several decades later. The baby boomers had come of electoral age, altering the demographic and electoral complexion of America forever in favour of youth and idealism. Before then, America was run like a corporate guild presided over by old, doddering authoritarian no-nonsense figures whose feet were firmly planted on earth and who had no time for fancy stuff. They were old American conservative patriots who viewed untested youth as a stuff that must be endured and only barely tolerated.

    Kennedy’s predecessor in office, Dwight Eisenhower, a veteran of two World Wars and indisputable hero of the second, was so vexed by his film star glamour and highfalutin rhetoric that he dismissed the youthful senator from Massachusetts as a whippersnapper. A whippersnapper is a young fellow whose pretensions to knowledge and political nous can be quite irritating to older folks.

    But not to worry. The young man from Hyannis Port seized the American imagination with his stirring and sterling rhetoric. He was not going to be stopped in his track by some fuzzy-woozy old men who were past their political sell-by date. Particularly resonant with the American people was his admonition that one should ask what one can do for his country and not what the country can do for one. It was a motif from the Arthurian legend. The American torch had indeed passed to a new generation.

    After the somnolent and somnambulist years of Harry Truman, the former haberdasher from Missouri, and Eisenhower during which the USSR managed to send the first man into space, America was stirring anew. Here was the new knight in shining armour and a new American prince to boot. The superman had finally arrived at the supermarket. There was an infectious optimism in the air. For good or bad, America would never be the same again.

    And John Kennedy looked every inch the part. He was rich, young, handsome and delectably telegenic. He was courtly, courteous and charismatic in the extreme. He went to Harvard, had written books and was a war hero to boot. He had the aura of a film star. There was something about him which made women swoon. Half of them wanted to be his mother and the other half his wife.

    Meanwhile, his real wife, the former Jacqueline Bouvier, of French extraction, brought a French élan and chic sophistication to the White House. This was life imitating a great movie. The normally sedate residence of American presidents bristled like a great Parisian café with aficionados of the arts and the illuminati of the haute couture. It was too good to be true. Something was bound to give. This kind of charismatic authority is always brittle and unstable, and so disruptive of normal life.

    Predictably, the enthralling movie ended in a real nightmare in downtown Dallas 50 years ago with Kennedy’s brains and blood sprayed and splashed into his wife’s dress. It was said that earlier on while the Kennedys were on a state visit to France, Charles de Gaulle had taken a wistful look at the wife and then noted to associates that he could see her in another 12 years on the yatch of a rich Greek shipping tycoon. Whether this was due to exemplary political clairvoyance or to the fact that the great French wizard was privy to some classified intelligence which showed Aristotle Onassis, the fabled Greek Casanova, already making hay behind JFK’s back will never be known.

    Like everything Kennedy, it was very difficult to separate myth from reality and fact from fiction and fantasy. Kennedy himself was very much a creation of myth and ruthless modern marketing. When the fact got in the way of the legend, it was the fact that gave way. Contrary to the myth of superhero, Kennedy had been sick and sickly for a long time and relied heavily on massive doses of pain killers to get by.

    Jack was also a serial philanderer who turned the White House to a sexual Bedlam. Even his war record was largely pumped up fiction. His older brother, the late Joe, was the real thing. Joe had volunteered for a dangerous aerial mission and was never to be seen again. As for being a book writing intellectual, a close scholarly associate noted wryly that the late American president only managed to finish one serious book he knew about.

    But this grand occlusion of reality and illusionist fantasia worked magic with the American people and the world at large. The bouffant Kennedy hair-do became a global brand. JFK seized the American and global imagination in a way that no leader had done before. Whenever and wherever he visited, the crowd went into a frenzied adulation. It was charisma in the original sense of the ancient Greek word.

    Yet where and when political sorcery ends, reality sets in. Somebody had to pick the tab of magic. It was the American people—and the world at large. Kennedy’s inflammable rhetoric of American exceptionalism and the gung-ho mindset of the “best and brightest” team he had assembled set America irrevocably on a war path which was to end in tears and tragedy. You cannot procure laughter with the coins of pains.

    The Cuban missile crisis and the Bay of Pigs fiasco are just two sides of a bad coin. America was trapped in its imaginary delusions. The lesson had to be taught that America was not founded as a martial nation. The doughty and hardy Vietnamese who had earlier given the French a bloody nose were lurking in the wings to give the Americans their own comeuppance. A dark chapter had unfolded in American history. It is also to be noted that even the great Civil Rights reforms initiated by Kennedy were eventually consummated by his successor, the earthy, joyously profane and gleefully oafish Lyndon B Johnson.

    Fifty years ago, the magic ended in downtown Dallas. But John Kennedy lives on in the imagination of many who saw him as a symbol of hope and national capacity for self renewal. A nation perishes without visionaries. It has been argued that Kennedy was neither a great president nor a particularly good one. Death spared him a horrible fate. But when allowances have been made for human lapses and frailties, it is the magic that endures and not the grim mathematics of political failure. Therein lies the secret of the enduring myth and the continuing global fascination with an authentic American icon.

  • Now, the lion sleeps tonight……

    And whilst we are still on the subject of great men and exceptional nations, it is meet to report that arguably the greatest human soul of the last hundred years and one of the noblest human beings of all time passed on late on Thursday. Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela, a.k.a Madiba, has joined his great ancestors. It was the most publicly enacted passing of a world-historic personage since recorded history began.

    From all corners of the human globe, the outpouring of grief has been unprecedented. The world woke up a much poorer place on Friday, but humanity has been greatly enriched by the glorious and profoundly symbolic example of one exceptional individual. Mandela was the warrior who chose not to fight; and the conqueror that chose not to exact vengeance and retribution. When shall we see the like of this man again?

    There was always something regal about Nelson Mandela. Even in dire captivity, he looked and acted like a king in waiting. Born into minor royalty, Mandela ruled South Africa like a major royalty. A lion does not need to proclaim its leonine nature. Even in languid repose, mere looking at the lion is enough disincentive. The truly powerful do not need to throw their power around. This is the preserve of brutes and thugs who force their way into reckoning.

    While we are still celebrating the passage of Mandela to immortality, Snooper has one request to make of the South African authorities. They should make Mariam Makeba’s great song, the lion sleeps tonight… the theme and motif of Mandela’s funeral. Oh, the great African lion sleeps tonight…..God bless you, and goodnight Nelson.

  • Excerpts from An Afternoon with the crocodile

    You are a foolish man. The second name of history is horror. Everybody has been enslaving everyone else since the dawn of history. The Romans did it, there was no problem. Then the British, and then the Americans and even the Zulus here. It was when it was our turn that the idiots started talking about human rights. How I hate the Yankees and the perfidious Albions !”, the old man lamented.

    “You should still have gone to the Truth and Reconciliation Tribunal”, Snooper noted.

    “I am not a bloody hypocrite. The truth is there was nothing to reconcile. And to tell you the real truth I can’t bear the smell of those hotties,” the crocodile snarled.

    “You should have been guided by the noble example of Mandela who suffered so grievously but was willing to forget and forgive” Snooper observed.

    “I am not Nelson Mandela. Mandela was trained to be a king. I was brought up to do a job. Actually, I like Nelson a lot. The Blackman has a great capacity to forgive. My theory of history is this. Let the ruthless Whiteman build the infrastructure and let the Blackman come and rule with his compassion, his justice and sense of fairness. That is the miracle you are witnessing”, the old man noted as his harsh features softened.

    “Mr Botha, how can the rest of Africa catch up with South Africa?”, Snooper inquired.

    “You are a bloody moegoe ( Afrikaans for idiot). I have just told you. Try Bot”, the crocodile answered with a fiendish giggle.

    “Bot? Mr Botha? Oh no, not you again!!” Snooper screamed.

    “Idiot, I mean B.O.T, which is build, operate and transfer after 500 years!!”

  • And Festus fell…..

    And Festus fell…..

    They were from the same state: Edo. But one was from the periphery and outer margins of old empire while the other was from its very heart. They were born the same year, a few months shy of each other. One died at thirty nine, while the other died twenty seven years later at sixty six. They were both writers. But while one was a master craftsman of elegant prose, the other was a fiction writer of powerful imagination. They would have known of each other. But they were not friends. In all probability, they held each other in cordial contempt.

    The reason is simple. While one chose to work from the inside to expose the rotting innards of the Nigerian post-colonial state, the other waged a relentless intellectual and ideological warfare against it from the outside. No two individuals could have been more dissimilar in temperament, politics and ideological outlook. Yet in the end, they shared a similar fate. They were both victims of the state. One was spectacularly eliminated by a parcel bomb which bore all the hallmark of state execution. The other succumbed to a killer-convoy of the state

    There is no further point in comparing the late Dele Giwa and the recently departed Festus Iyayi, except to note that the unarmed prophet of any hue, if he is not deliberately courting martyrdom, must learn the nature and character of the post-colonial state we are dealing with. Yet it was impossible not to admire Iyayi’s consistency and adamantine integrity even while entertaining profound ideological and strategic disagreements with his vision and version of the post-colony. But he was not one of those contemptible charlatans that the late motor park economist famously dismissed as “ Nigeria’s akara and suya Marxists”.

    A quote often misattributed to Stalin has it that while one death is a tragedy, a thousand deaths are a mere statistic. Festus Iyayi’s death on the road adds to the lengthening statistics of state violence against Nigerian citizens. Other states kits and kilts their own, but the Nigerian state kills its best and brightest like a demented hen which must suck life out of its own eggs.

    Thirty nine years after Iyayi came to national political prominence in a memorable ASUU industrial dispute, he was still at it, this time as an aging generalissimo and grizzled veteran of ASUU protests. Nothing has changed. If anything, the conditions in the public universities have worsened. Nigerian universities have become a global laughing stock sustained by the unusual heroism and bravery of a few. Many illustrious men and women have perished trying to make sense of this epic failure of the Black person. The intellectual fortress has been stormed and decimated. Those who deliberately destroyed the university system and whose cultural conditioning could not equip them to appreciate the virtues and values of modernity and knowledge-based civilization have gone on to become statesmen.

    For a man who showed such a powerful imaginative understanding of violence in all its chilling economic, political, intellectual and psychological possibilities to die of its most crass and unimaginative variety is a truly benumbing irony. It is like a Panzer general being killed by an ox-driven cart. The killer state convoy is a unique Nigerian contribution to modern civilization. It will surely find a befitting place in a future museum of post-colonial atrocities. This must be in addition to low tech corruption and primitive state stealing. Future generations surveying the catacombs of our current catastrophe must wonder why such a gifted and creative people allowed themselves to be so misruled by their worst and most miserable human specimens.

    The fate of the author of Heroes reminds one of a Second World War Japanese soldier who also goes by the name Hiroo Onoda. Twenty nine years after the Japanese surrender, this incredibly brave and hardy soldier was still roaming wild on some forsaken Filipino island simply because he had not heard his commander’s order to surrender. A special ceremony had to be arranged with his old commander, now a bookseller, to allow the man who had become a semi-beast foraging on leaves, roots and pillaged rice for three decades to lay down his arms. Iyayi fought on in the most inhuman of circumstances until he fell. This is a parable for a paradigm shift for ASUU. A diseased society cannot produce a great university system.

    As a mark of respect to its fallen hero and all those who have been wasted by the Nigerian university system, ASUU must now commence an introspective soul-searching about how to redeem Nigeria along with its fallen university system. It is going to take a war of position, that is a costly inch by inch campaign rather than a war of manoeuvre which is a brisk lightning strike against a demobilised enemy. The Japanese knew that they had lost the military war, so they turned to another theatre of human engagement: economy. Once the nature of war changes, so must the mode of engagement. Luckily and as Shakespeare famously said, there is still some architecture in the ruins.

    All over Nigeria, our people are being wasted on a daily basis in needless and most absurd of circumstances. It will be foolish to imagine that this human culling on an industrial scale will not have its psychic toll on future generations. The well of communal wellbeing is already poisoned. As inhabitants of the land of living ghosts, we bring you this morning an early glimpse into the culture of human wastage in this unhappy land. It was written twenty six years ago on the first anniversary of Dele Giwa’s death. Welcome to the Inca Empire and its human abattoir as enacted in post-colonial Africa.