The Nation Newspaper

Category: New Woman

  • ‘Rare Gems’ awards for the deserving

    ‘Rare Gems’ awards for the deserving

    Women and men committed to the development of the young ones were appreciated with deserving awards  during the immediate past International Women’s Day event, reports  Joke Kujenya.

    TUESDAY, March 11th, 2014 the rains poured heavily. Despite that, not a few women and men as well as students converged to commemorate the International Women’s Day (IWD). As they gathered, light music played at the background to enliven the atmosphere as there were awards to be dished out to deserving development people that had made remarkable impact on their respective communities. There was excitement in the air.

    The event had eight schools that made eight presentations with the outcome of a research made by other eight presented by one student who read their citation. But in all, 16 secondary schools, selected from four different categories, namely government, military, missionary and private schools, were in attendance. Eight of them were asked to create original presentations based on the focus of respective MDG. Another eight were each given a list of 10 criteria to research on and nominate a total of three women, men or organisations for awards in specific areas.

    Their findings were also related to the achievement of the MDGs in Nigeria. Then, a list of 24 nominees was presented to the judges who were given the criteria to study prior to choosing the final eight winners.

    Also at the gathering was a high-powered representation from the World Health Organisation (WHO), UNODC, UNFPA, UNAIDS as well as the United Nations Information Centre (UNIC).

    Speaking on the theme ‘Inspiring Change’ with the sub-theme ‘Women as Peacemakers’, at the 10th Rare Gem Awards event, which she described as the import of the day, National Coordinator, Women’s Optimum Development Foundation (WODEF), Mrs. Bimbo Oloyede, who also is a veteran journalist and newscaster, said the event was initiated, not only to commemorate IWD 2014, but to showcase the new set of Rare Gems awardsee as they could all look at the students being nurtured over the years, grow up and brimming with hope and enthusiasm, trusting that they will have a bright future.

    She said: “We can look at ourselves too, living in freedom, in health and in peace. But now, let us spare a thought for women around the world who are challenged with fear, poverty and hunger, whose children cannot determine their fate or future.”

    She noted that it has become paramount for everyone, especially the womenfolk, mothers, to turn their minds to the children of Buni Yadi in Yobe State. “We also have other children and women whose lives have been cut short by senseless violence in the northern parts of Nigeria.” On that, she called for a minute silence with a stand-up in their honour, saying, “This is the least we can do for them from here,” and then added, “may their souls rest in peace.”

    “However, I want us to congratulate the 10th group of Rare Gems being presented and to appreciate their efforts in the development space. It has also become important to applaud the principals, teachers and students who have worked so hard on the presentations.

    From what was submitted to us, it is clear that our children are creative, original, sensitive and far more in tune with their environment than we give them credit for. I will thus like those students who carried out the research to be upstanding as they were painstaking, determined and discerning in their choice of nominees, commending them for a job well done!“

    Thereafter, citations were made as respective women, teachers and mentors went forward to receive their awards one after the other. Each person that was called got a ‘well done’ handshake from the National Coordinator and a few representatives of the other organisations in attendance.

    Oloyede noted further that the essence of the day especially dovetailed into the UN Women’s theme of equality and progress for the fact that “we cannot achieve either, without peace and change.” She added: “With the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs), deadline less than one year away, it is not only an appropriate time for youths to become more aware of current happenings, but also as tomorrow’s leaders, they should also become part of the change that is necessary for progress and development.

    “This is why WODEF and others believe we must encourage young people to key into post-2015 gender concerns by engaging them in various activities that expose them to development initiatives in Nigeria. Our strategy is to involve them directly in the Rare Gems project which WODEF, in partnership with UNIC and other UN agencies, had hosted nine times since year 2000 during which about 85 awards had been presented to those who have impacted on their communities. These set of people also confront factors with which their contemporaries contend daily in other parts of the country and indeed other parts of the world. WODEF also feels that this is a very potent way of not only bringing public attention to the MDGs but also to the individuals that promote and actualise them.” According to her, the project was inaugurated in November 2013, during the ’16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence’, an international campaign that emanated from the first Women’s Global Leadership Institute in 1991 created to raise awareness about domestic violence and women’s human rights.

    In the presentation of the UN Secretary-General, Ban Ki Moon, it was stated that it has become apparent that while the involvement of women in building the world has been evident, the simple truth must be central as we work to accelerate progress towards the MDGs by 2015 deadline and craft an agenda for the years beyond. She added, “I also have a message for my fellow men and boys: play your part. All of us benefit when women and girls your mothers, sisters, friends and colleagues –can reach their full potential. Together, let us work for women’s rights, empowerment and gender equality as we strive to eliminate poverty and promote sustainable development. Equality for women is progress for all!”

  • Gloves should be handled stylishly

    Gloves should be handled stylishly

    The modern women have moved away from gloves for etiquette, but brides have continued with this tradition of elegance. A pair of gloves is a sophisticated accessory that signify a bride’s special status. Yetunde Oladeinde takes a look at the place of this accessory during the wedding ceremony.

    THE bride looked simple as she stepped out with the beautiful bridal train. Asshe stretched out her hands to hold her prince charming, the gloves depicted panache and simply distinguished her from all and sundry. The truth of the matter is that the bridal gloves is a very significant item for the wedding day. It is second only to the veil and tiara and it actually sends a signal about who is the significant person at the event.

    On your wedding day you need to step out like a princess with privileges. One of the privileges of princesses is to be free from hard labor and using her hands. The gloves signify that she is not to make her hands or lift a dirty.

    Brides also wear gloves for that extra bit of elegance and statement of fashion style. However you also need to understand the do’s and don’ts of the gloves to make the desired statement. Brides should know some tips for gloves like choosing the right length, when to wear the gloves, tips for practicing wearing the gloves and taking them off, and that it is acceptable to break the rules sometimes in order to express one’s personality.

    Bridal gloves are available in many lengths, multiple fabrics, designs, and closures. Short gloves cover the hands and wrist, medium length gloves reach to the elbow, and long gloves go over the elbow and up to the shoulder. Some gloves are fingerless and fit snugly around the wrist while some fingerless gloves are held on by a loop hooked around one finger.

    Brides can choose from satin, silk, lace, knits, and leather among other fabrics. Choices include opaque fabrics or sheer ones, and brides can find virtually any color from different shades of white to red and even black. Embellishments could include beads, pearls, crystals, flowers, bows, and ribbons. Some gloves just slip on and fit snugly while others have closures like laces, buttons, and hooks and eyes.

    Most brides choose a glove based on a style, color, and fabric that matches the gown. Since gloves are a major accessory, they should accentuate the dress style. Simple gowns pair with ornate gloves and complicated dresses are balanced by understated gloves. Brides should also keep in mind the time of day the wedding takes place, the formality of occasion, and the venue.

  • Dear mother

    Dear mother

    Loved and cherished, these categories of women have ensured that society thrives. Some Nigerians tell Yetunde Oladeinde and Joe Agbro Jr., how much they treasure their mothers

    IT’S often said that there is nothing greater than a mother’s love for her child. One of such in our local parts here is the bond which existed between the late musical maestro, Fela Anikulapo Kuti, and his equally late activist mother, Madam Funmilayo Kuti. When soldiers invaded Fela’s Kalakuta Republic and threw his mother from a storey building, the musician waxed a record to document the incident. In a portion where he eulogises his mother during the song, Fela’s voice becomes emotional, betraying pain. It is a rare glimpse into the soft spot the radical musician had for his mother.

    This bond, which usually starts very early in life and even extends beyond death, is shared among many people. Books, poems, songs, documentaries have been done on them. And from infancy, of both parents, it is the mother to whom the child firstly and, of course, naturally gravitates toward. She’s the one that produces colostrums, which doctors now agree is the best food for infants.

    Equally, the love mothers have for their children has been exhibited since time immemorial. There is no doubt that mothers, whether they be plain Janes, queens, top flight business moguls, seedy harlots, distinguished women, or hustlers, occupy an integral part in their children’s lives. And to recognise their pivotal role, each year, there are days usually set aside to celebrate. This Sunday, Nigeria joins other nations to celebrate these special women.

    Adebantu – musician

    I love my mum’s courage, her uncompromising faith in human spirit, and the way she doesn’t compromise the truth. She is my hero. And she is the greatest person in my life and the greatest person that I look up to.

    My mum scolded me with love. But she was one the patient parent as she took her time to explain why she was angry at me or why she felt I should react or act in a different way as opposed to beat. She never once thrashed me.

    But my mum and I have always been friends from an early age. My mum schooled me on how to dress and how to act for my first date. She prepared me for my first date. And it helped because it wasn’t as if I went to my dad and he could talk. It turned out to be great. We’re still good friends, the lady and I. And I’m really happy for the advice my mum gave me which was to be a gentleman and to be extremely patient. And she also advised me to protect myself if it should end up in the bedroom.

    Lepacious Bose – comedian

    I’m very close to my mum. Actually, she’s my confidante. We’ve come a long way. When I was growing up, I didn’t like my mum. I thought she was nasty, too stiff, and stressful because my mum was a teacher. And so, she was always on top of her game. She could second-guess you. I couldn’t behave like any other children because she was also the headmistress of the primary school I went to. I just couldn’t be a ‘normal’ child. I couldn’t play; I couldn’t jump the fence like any other children and go out. So, I used to think my mother was a nagging woman; she was a spoil-sport. But the older I got and when I got to the university, I started seeing that the thing she did was good. And gradually, I started getting to know her better. When people say, ‘you don’t take nonsense,’ I laugh at them because you don’t know my parents. I didn’t have a mother that when your father is beating you, she will be begging your father. I had a mother that when your father is beating you, she will be standing at the door with her own cane. For all that, I’m grateful because she is the reason I am where I am. She is the reason why I am not one of those celebrities that would be exposing their body parts in the name of celebrity because I have a name to protect. And I’m grateful to my mum for all that she has done for me. I won’t wish for another mum, that is the truth. I believe her only assignment on earth was to come and be my mother.

    Funke Akindele – actress/movie producer

    What can I say about my mum? My mum is a very wonderful person. And she has always been very supportive of what I do. When I was much younger, she’d take me to locations. I attended Lagos State Model College and even while I was in boarding house, my mother would buy new Aso-Oke and bring it for me in school so I can use it perform. Everything I am today, I owe it to her.

    Ebun Anozie – health advocate

    I don’t have a mother. I lost my mother when I was seven. That is why I do what I do.

    Toby Husswin Adegbite – entrepreneur

    Nothing compare to the love of a good mother because this is a rare gift. Therefore , I would say the celebration of mother’s day means so much to me because of her immense contribution to my life and the values she put into my life. When I was walking through the valley of the shadows of death , she was there for me. She was also there during the good times and she continues to be a precious jewel in my heart. My mother, Elizabeth Husswin is a great woman. She is someone that is so priceless to me. A superstar and an epitome of God’s beauty. She is the pillar of strength for all her children and all the children she helped to mould as co-founder of the Gideon International school.

  • Stylish in Corset Dress

    Stylish in Corset Dress

    A colourful day is the dream of every bride. Making this dream come true can be tough and this explains why brides-to-be need to put their thinking caps on to carve a niche for themselves. Yetunde Oladeinde looks at how to look like a queen in a couture corset wedding gown.

    VARIETY certainly is the spice of life. That applies to the choice the bride has to make on her day and there are a thousand and one options available. However, in making your choice, you need to be sure that it is something that would project the image that you desire and one that would make the day very memorable. One option that a bride can make use of is the corset wedding dress.

    A corset is a creative outfit worn to hold and shape the torso into a desired shape for aesthetic or medical purposes (either for the duration of wearing this item, or with a more lasting effect). Both men and women are known to wear corsets, though women are more common wearers.

    In recent years, the term “corset” has also been borrowed by the fashion industry to refer to tops which, to varying degrees, mimic the look of traditional corsets without actually acting as one.

    An international designer like Yomi Osunkoya of Kosibah has a number of corset wedding dresses in his collection. This award-winning designer has been designing the finest couture bridal and evening wear ever since.

    A number of the bridal designs with the corset are glamorous and it actually puts the bride in a unique class. Some of the designs are also fresh and very unique, especially for those who have a great figure .

    You would certainly find a number of unique designs in the collection of our designers, if this is what you really want.

  • Shades of pink (Raising a voice for the Nigerian girl)

    ABOUT 10 days ago, at an interactive session with the students of one of the most prominent mission schools for girls, one of the girls came up and asked a horrifying question. In her tiny voice, she asked, “Ma, what should I do if four seniors pin me down on the bed while the fifth fondles my private part in a bid to initiate me into lesbianism?” As I was going to allay her fears that it could never happen in this type of school, the girls shouted, “it’s been happening.” And when I turned to the senior girls accusingly, they murmured in protest and pointed at the juniors – girls aged between 11 and 13. And, indeed, their vice principal confirmed it. That same day, I saw some girls sauntering into a public (government-owned) school without fear at about 9.30a.m. and was reliably informed that they were coming from their boyfriends’ houses! Now, surely, a mother brought these types of girls into the world and is responsible for their upbringing.

    To start with, one could be convinced these little lesbians are demonised and the latter are girls whose mothers usually send to collect money from their (mothers’) boyfriends. One cannot help but wonder where things went wrong in their upbringing. There’s a likely analysis though because I am sure there are worse children whose parents would swear are angels. Let’s take a look at the life of a girl whose parents have the means of giving a good life. Most likely, she has a nanny in her impressionable years whom she has caught times without number in an amorous position with the gardener or driver. She’s chauffeured to school by a driver who plays and sings all the latest lewd lyrics including “All I want is your waist…” She knows the lyrics as well. Her greatest delight is the dance-step of the girls in the music videos. At lunch break, she and her mates are discussing how their favourite couple in that Brazilian soap opera kissed in last night’s episode and how they can’t wait to do same with their boyfriends. And the best moment for her is when she has to do her homework on-line and can quickly google on sites that discuss the different styles of love-making and as she sees these pictures, she loves the way her body reacts. And you can imagine she dresses scantily – no less than her likely role-model – an American pop star whose gait she has even mastered not knowing that she’s at great risk especially with the males who surround her. Such a child is likely to end up a disaster if care is not taken, no matter how brilliant she is.

    Motherhood before civilisation was not only a task women committed themselves to with so much passion; it was also one that brought so much pride and joy. A lot of women got married not necessarily because they were in love but because they wanted to have the privilege they were naturally entitled to – having children and multiplying the world. Also, having children brought you more respect than not having any. Mothers made it a point to bring their children up with the principles of their faith which is expected to guide them through life.

    Mothers taught their children good manners and respect for the elderly. Obedience was a virtue every child had to have to be considered a good child. In homes where domestic helps could not be afforded, children had to keep the house clean before they left for school and would still get to school on time as they were made to wake up very early and be time conscious. The older children were taught to be responsible for their younger ones and right from age seven, you could find a little girl backing a baby. Such girls grew up bathing their younger ones, changing their diapers, cooking for them, washing their clothes, helping out with their homework etc. It still happens in the rural areas. All the same, mothers, no matter how busy they were, chasing their source of livelihood, had time for their children.

    Daughters were very close to their mothers, so, it was very easy to discover when a child was derailing or keeping bad company. At that time, a child belonged to the entire community and so other parents were quick to report any misbehaviour of a child to safe guard his/her future. Mothers knew best. So much fear was put into the heart of the children that they dared not argue. Mothers did not spare the rod and punished even the least short-coming or whatever was considered a misdemeanour. No one wanted her child to soil the family name or dent their image.

    Most mothers would check their children’s school bags after school to make sure they didn’t come home with what wasn’t theirs. Children were taught that you could only earn money by being hard working. Motherhood was indeed a serious business because mothers were very conscious of the fact that what their children became in life was determined by their upbringing – especially by their mother.

    •To be concluded next week.

  • Striking a powerful balance

    A total woman is one that can strike a balance between family and her career. This way, these two parts would be carried along in such a way that they enhance and project the different parts of her life. This was part of the revelations made at a recent event in Lagos.

    Here, there was quite a number of revelations for the Nigerian career woman at a seminar organised by oil producers, Accenture Nigeria. Happily, the women tried to x-ray some of their achievements, challenges as well as ways to chart a positive way forward for career women bugged down by everyday challenges.

    The seminar, which was an eye-opener for many, came with the theme: Knowing and Growing Your Career Capital. The event brought together women from all works of life from across the country to discuss how top level women can remain visible as well as mentor younger women to manage their careers and balance other personal commitments in their homes.

    At the event were young participants sharing experiences as well as learning how they could access and develop skills to help them grow their careers amidst challenges.

    The Finance and Strategic Director, Cadbury Nigeria Plc, Mrs. Oyeyimika Adeboye, who was the guest speaker, gave a presentation on the theme of the seminar.

    Using her experiences as an example, she urged the women not to see their gender as a limitation to whatever they wanted to do. A participant, Mrs. Damilola Jones, revealed that the discussions put forward were an eye-opener for her, adding that working women are limited in terms of their goals, duties and have often times placed jobs before family.

    On the significance of the event, the Managing Director, Resource (Energy, Utilities and Natural Resources) Accenture Nigeria, Mrs. Abayomi Olarinmoye, said the reason for the meeting was to help women know where to strike the balance between skills, capability, networks, values and career.

  • ‘I’m liberal but prudent’

    ‘I’m liberal but prudent’

    Chinwe Maduike has a rich background in politics and international relations and bagged an MBA from the University of Hertfordshire. The world class management consultant and CEO of eight companies with tentacles in Europe, the Middle East, Africa and the Far East speaks with Yetunde Oladeinde on life working with seasoned foreign investors.

    WHAT is the focus of your organisation?

    I am the director of Rare Gem Consulting in the United Kingdom. I trained in consultant management and set up my company in Africa, UK and the Middle East. I have given those regions support, but my first allegiance is to my country. So, I would like to bring those investors into Nigeria. I must say that being a woman in business is extremely challenging.

    Interestingly, I have had male role models and not female models. I have worked with a number of government ministries and parastatals for a long while. To make sure that the environment is conducive, I was able to bring in my expertise from the past, helping to provide the kind of environment that they want to see and the right kind of policy.

    Let’s talk about your professional background

    My first degree was in Political Science and International Relations. I was trained by the Royal Bank of Scotland.

     

    How would you describe your management style?

    I am a bit liberal but at the same time extremely prudent. You have to be liberal in today’s world. My business spans across four continents and the rules you have in one continent would be different from the ones you have in another. I have to be professional and not rigid. Everyone knows that there is a standard and this applies, no matter the part of the world that we are operating in. Any where I go to, once you see something that I have done, you see the standard.

    Which was your first job?

    Working for Lombard Finance holds a place in my heart. In school, I got a distinction and was head hunted to be a business analyst and from there I moved to another blue chip company.

    How was it like building your companies from the scratch?

    I have eight companies and it was extremely challenging at the beginning. I told myself that I am a woman but that shouldn’t stop me. Once you have the fundamental thing, it helps. The environment in England and a lot of research helped me. I had to seek mentors and this made me not to be in any employment at a point. I attached myself to those who had proved themselves.

    I needed to do this because there is nothing better than learning on the job. My first mentor was a Jewish man, who is 76 years old. He taught me the fundamentals and principles of business. There is also Dr Olajide, a medical doctor who is in business in England. I also admire women like Margaret Thatcher and Betty Bistrode. Thatcher was a woman amongst men; she took England to war and won the war. As women, we must not feel sorry for ourselves.

    Do you have young people that you are mentoring?

    At the moment, I have a mentoring programme for students and I take on the MBA students from the London School of Economics and some other schools hands on and put them on projects that I am working on. I see them as part of the job and my dream is that you go on to establish your own company. In addition, I always emphasis the team factor and get those I am mentoring from different parts of the world like Pakistan, Nigeria and South Africa.

    What are you bringing to the Nigerian market?

    My main aim is to bring seasoned investors to Nigeria. At the moment, they are there but there are so many opportunities untapped. I would like to see products in Nigeria in the shops in the United Kingdom. I would like to see the farmers in the international market. I would like to see opportunities where the federal government would make the market more open.

    Yesterday, Goldman Sachs said that by 2020 Nigeria would be one of the best markets in the world. I would like to see the process start now. One other problem here is continuity; when one government leaves, another comes in and you have to start all over again. To bring about positive changes, I would like to work with governmental organisations. In the past, I worked with the United Nations and I would like to work with forward-thinking organisations, state governments and organisations in terms of investments. We are working in Uganda with a multinational company. We are also working with a Russian firm on financing an oil vessel and last year I was instrumental in getting investor to get into the power sector. Also for Agriculture, we have investors wanting to invest in tomatoes and they are ready to come into the states. We also have investors in the hospitality area and they are thinking of building amusement parks and all that.

    What gives you the inspiration to do all this?

    The appreciation I get from people around me. Some of my clients put me forward for the Black American Achievers Award. A few recipients from Africa include the late Maryam Babangida, President Olusegun Obasanjo and other business people. I was called up based on my track records, especially my ability to bring in multibillion investors in Africa.

    What else are you passionate about?

    The girl-child empowerment is very dear to my heart. I often see that girls within the ages 18-35 are forgotten in the midst. At that point, you are no longer the girl-child and you are hanging in between. As a girl, I also had challenges but I overcame them. I had to be comfortable with who I was, where I was going. I also told myself that the shoe I wore did not determine where I was going to.

    So, as a girl, you must be determined and focused. I know that things are difficult and the fees for Nigerian universities are extremely outrageous. You don’t have to sell yourself short. I always want to let the young girls know that there is hope out there. I am a professional business woman and I carry my banner around.

    How do you cope with the negative image created about Nigeria abroad?

    Many times, I found that once people know you are a Nigerian, they have a certain idea of what you are supposed to be. Not that they are necessarily right, but it is unfortunate that this is the case. One of the main things I do is to let my work speak for me. It is like working with men, if they don’t like you there is nothing you can do to please them.

    I have also found that most people who are quick to judge are somewhat lacking; people with limited exposure would want to box you in. So, all of us must be good ambassadors of the country. I went to work in an all white company with all men and I had to let them know that this Nigerian woman was ready to do the job expected of her.

    Boko Haram is a big challenge for investors, what can be done?

    Last year, I went to the north to see what it was all about. I found Kaduna to be peaceful and I didn’t know this before. So, I do tell investors about Boko Haram, the challenges and the fact that not all states are affected. We have investors who are ready to go to Kaduna State and they need to understand the terrain. Every country has its security challenges and it is good to be concerned. However, we should applaud the steps taken so far and I believe that more can be done.

    What are the fundamentals of business for start ups?

    The most important thing is the determination. That would set you on track. There would be challenges, but determination would let you look beyond it. Finance management is also important and the other thing I found important is research and knowing when to seek for help. You need to go out to find a mentor, sometimes you may need to volunteer and prove yourself. When I was at this stage, I was a pest and I wasn’t going to leave my mentor. He had never worked with a black person and they were all men in his office. So we were poles apart. Then you also need to know your market and the people you have around. Are the people around me adding value or draining me?

    Who or what is the greatest influence in your life?

    My mum is my rock. I am here and she is managing all my businesses and she is 66 years old. Mum is that woman behind me, she is unshakeable and unbendable. She is a nursing director in London and she gives me the boost to go ahead. Mum has been working for over 40 years and she is so energetic.

    How do you relax?

    I watch movies online. Sometimes when I am writing a report and diminishing returns is setting in, I take a break. I also travel a lot, surf the net and the other hobby I enjoy is make-up. I also like high life music like Orlando Owoh’s, no matter where I am. I always have this in the background when I am working.

  • To switch gear or make an abrupt exit

    WHEN a young guy and a young girl fall in love, it is indeed a dream come true. However, it is not the falling and tripping that matter; usually the most important thing is where there are heading to. Would it be a forever-happy ending, would it make disastrous headlines later or are they likely to want to take each other’s pound of flesh when cupid’s arrow makes an abrupt exit.

    One interesting story is that of a young man whose heart sank as soon as he saw the girl he loved. Unfortunately for them, there was this social disparity and for a while it looked like they couldn’t go far. The young man was from a very wealthy background while the girl who caught his fancy was from a very poor home.

    For him, it wasn’t really an issue but somehow our dear friend was swimming with conflict over this complex. The girl’s parents weren’t also comfortable with the whole idea. So, the young man decided not only to court the girl but to court her parents as well. In time, the parents saw that he was a good man and was worthy of their daughter’s hand.

    But there was another problem: his parents had not been converted in this love arrangement and they stood against it. Then the man at the centre of the love story was given an assignment in the office and he had to travel for a year and half. Well, there was nothing they could do about it and he just had to go. Sadly, a few days after he left, the girl had a major accident. It was a head-on collision which left her really in a bad shape.

    When she woke up in the hospital, she saw her parents and friends crying. Immediately, she knew there was something wrong. She later found out that she suffered brain injury. The part of her brain that controlled her face muscles was damaged. Her once lovely face was now disfigured. She cried as she saw herself in the mirror.

    No, this was not what he fell in love with and so there was no point short changing Mr. Right. Right there and then, she decided to release her fiancé from their promise. She knew he wouldn’t want her anymore. She would forget about him and never see him again. However, he was faithful and wrote so many letters. He tried to phone her but she just wouldn’t return his calls.

    Then a friend told him what had happened to his darling and he took the next flight just to see the only heart that he cherished. As soon as he saw her he reassured her that what he felt was not physical; it was not the face that had changed but a heart that was filled with love and warmth.

    A beautiful face with a wicked heart cannot compare with what she had given him over the years. That assurance healed her wounds in a very short while and they were united once more in love. Interestingly, not all love stories end this way. A lot of times lovebirds get carried away with the things they see and not what they feel. Love is defined as what is sweet, tasty, rich and attractive. Once the person you claim to cherish is affected by the vicissitudes of life it would be time to take off and run into the arms of someone who possesses the quality that they once had. A fair-weather friend, indeed.

    Most times, love is actually a gamble with the ‘To be or not to be ‘ question hanging in the balance. For the unlucky ones, the gambler may have to run at a certain point. Running may take place almost immediately halfway through the storm or just towards the end of the love game.

    The latter experience is the saddest because it comes at a point when almost everyone is certain that the lovebirds have crossed the Rubicon. At that point, they would have spent precious time, energy and resources to make this love project work. Now, instead of getting kudos for a job well done, all you get in return for your investments are knocks; knocks that pierce through the heart like poisonous arrows.

    In order to save yourself from being an emotional wreck, it is better to run away with the ‘wretched remains’, because you have come to the realisation that you are on the brink. To enjoy a relationship, you must share a number of things in common.

    In addition, the couple must be ready to make sacrifices, the fifty-fifty love kind of thing. But if she is giving 70 and you are giving a miserly 30 per cent, then it isn’t going to work at all. Maureen is actually in a faulty relationship she has had to endure for about 18 months but now she just can’t carry on again. Having been a victim thrice, Maureen decided to stoop to conquer this time around.

    Throughout the courtship period, the lovebirds schemed to achieve their individual goals and you wonder if they could ever emerge as one. Everyone wants financial and emotional security, but striking a good balance comes when you are ready to give so much for the one you love.

    Agree? Not everyone would agree with that view. The truth of the matter is that we always look around for partners that can help perpetuate our brand of love. When they resist, then it would be time to abandon this love canoe for a better love boat, one that would accommodate our whims and caprices.

  • Ademitan hooks Oyedele

    Ademitan hooks Oyedele

    MISS Ademitan 0lateru- Olagbegi and Oyedele Adetula tied the knots at the St.Andrew’s Anglican Cathedral, Owo recently. The reception was held at Imade College ground. The wedding ceremony was well attended by people from all walks of life, among whom were Senator Olusola Saraki, Mr. Ademola Adetula and Chief Tayo James.

  • Etiquette At school

    Etiquette At school

    Don’t fail to give the right of way when you come across your teachers, school prefects, and senior students on the corridor when coming from the opposite direction.

    In public

    Do offer your seat to any elderly person or your teacher or a senior student standing in a commuter bus.

    Proverb of the week

    If there is character, ugliness becomes beauty; if there is none, beauty becomes ugliness. ~Nigerian Proverb

    Personal Grooming/health Care

    Bathe twice daily: Soap and water are essential for keeping the skin clean. A good bath twice a day is recommended especially because of the accumulated sweat while in school.

    Maintain a regular sleep pattern. The average teen needs+ at least eight hours of sleep a night. Getting seven to eight hours of sleep is a major factor contributing to how healthy you are. Getting enough sleep raises your alertness during the day, and minimises anxiety.

    Cookery/home-making

    Pepper soup is meat in a spiced broth usually made from chicken, beef or fish. Its peculiar taste comes from the spice mix which is sold in the market.

    Ingredients

    3 tea spoons pepper soup spice mix

    2 tea spoons dry blended hot chilli

    Goat meat ( 10 small pieces)

    3 cubes of Maggi seasoning

    Salt to taste

    Small onion, small ginger and garlic (peeled, not cut)

     

    Direction

    •Set a medium size pot on medium heat, add in the washed meat, 1 cup of water, 2 cubes of Maggi, some salt, onion, ginger and garlic. Cover the pot and leave the meat to cook until very tender. Remove the ginger and garlic pieces.

    •Add 4 cups of water to the boiled meat; add in the pepper soup spice, chilli powder, and 1 Maggi cube. Stir and taste. You may add more salt if required. Cover and simmer for another 25-30mins.

    •Goat meat pepper soup can be eaten with bread rolls and goes really nice with boiled plantain.