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Category: Weekend Treat

  • PDP crisis is exaggerated -Senate Majority Leader Ndoma-Egba

    PDP crisis is exaggerated -Senate Majority Leader Ndoma-Egba

    Victor Ndoma-Egba (SAN) is the Senate Majority Leader and a three-term Senator representing Cross River State Central Senatorial Zone in the upper chamber. Senator Ndoma-Egba was at various times a member of Senate Committees on Upstream Petroleum Resources, Human Rights and Legal Matters, Information and Media, as well as Deputy Chairman of the Judiciary Committee of the Senate. In this interview with Assistant Editor, LINUS OBOGO, in his office, he spoke on state creation, crisis in the PDP, zero allocation to SEC saga and sundry issues. Excerpts:

     

    There was a seeming helplessness on the part of the Senate to compel the Inspector-General of Police (IG) to arrest and produce the former Assistant Director with the Nigeria Pension Fund, Abdulrasheed Maina, over alleged monumental corruption in the agency, leading to his eventual disappearance. Was that the last Nigerians may have heard on the matter?

    Our constitutional responsibilities are carried out within constitutional bounds. The powers to investigate also include the powers to recommend. We do not have any constitutional obligation to implement or execute our recommendations. The responsibility to implement or execute those recommendations lies with the executive arm of the government.

    That is why if you look at Section 88 of the Constitution which empowers us to carry out oversights, it also empowers us to carry out oversights with the purpose of exposing or minimising corruption. So the moment we have succeeded in exposing corruption, we have carried out our constitutional mandate. What happens thereafter is for the executive arm. We have done our bit. So, we cannot, having done our bit and exhausted our constitutional mandate, be said to be helpless. So, the issue of helplessness does not arise in this situation at all.

    Implementing our recommendation is entirely that of the executive.

    So, while the executive glosses over this serious issue of corruption in the Pension Fund administration, will it be right to conclude that the matter is dead and buried as it seems?

    Well, it is for Nigerians to demand action from the executive arm. The legislature has done its bit. So the ball is now in the court of the executive. It is for Nigerians to insist that something be done. I want to believe that the matter is squarely being pursued by those who have the responsibility to do so. The matter is before the Federal Civil Service Commission. Remember also that the police had also declared him wanted.

    Does the Constitution also circumscribe the Senate from reining in the IG of Police or any other head of federal agencies who flagrantly flouts your resolution?

    The IG appeared before the Senate Committee on Police Affairs to give an explanation on the challenges or difficulties they were having. The committee is yet to bring its report to the plenary of its interaction with the IG. When the committee submits its report, we will proceed from there.

    Following the debate in the Senate on the Petroleum Industry Bill and subsequent revelations that a section of the country controls 83 per cent of the oil blocs, what is the position of the Senate on the disclosure?

    The Senate, like the executive, is a creation of the Constitution that also created the three arms of government. Every arm has its responsibility, limitations and powers. The granting of oil blocs is exclusively the preserve of the executive and not that of the legislature. Let us assume without conceding that the allegations made by Senator Ita Enang are true, it is now left for the executive to make sure that, that is corrected. Correcting a balance in the allocation of oil blocs is an executive function and not a legislative function, but I think that there is this mindset out there that the legislature has the powers to do everything, it is not true. There is a clear separation of powers. Ours is to expose inefficiency and corruption. The moment we have done that, it will be left for the relevant arms to take the necessary actions to redress it.

    Some people have called on the Senate to be scrapped while others have called for a part time legislature. As a Senator who is serving his third term, how do the recommendations strike you?

    Let us first of all look at the issue of the National Assembly or the Senate being the drain pipe. This year, we have a budget of almost N5trillion and the budget of the Senate, the House of Representatives, the bureaucracy, the National Assembly Service Commission, the Legislative Institute and our subscription to international bodies is N150 billion. The percentage of this N5 trillion is a little over two per cent. So are they saying that this percentage is the problem of Nigeria? If you have two percent of the budget, it means that you have two percent opportunity for corruption and if you have 98 percent of the budget, it means that you have 98 percent opportunity for corruption. How come the fixation is with the two percent and not the 98 percent? Now, we are talking about the N150 billion and the OPEC fuel subsidy scheme which is just one of the small programmes of the government costs almost N2 trillion. Even the pension fund that you mentioned earlier is far in excess of the N150 billion of the National Assembly budget. Using the figures that I have mentioned, it goes to prove that the National Assembly cannot be responsible for the wastage in the system. It definitely is not.

    Let us now come back to the issue of the National Assembly being part time or full time. As a child growing up, when we had the parliamentary system, we had part time legislators and I remember that the headmaster of my primary school was a member of the House of Representatives. He went to Lagos where they used to have their sittings and after that, he resumed his work as headmaster. But it was the same Nigerians who clamoured for a full time legislature. Today, we operate a presidential system of government. Tell me, in which other presidential system anywhere in the world do we have a part time legislature? Again, if the reason for the clamour is cost, I have told you that what we spend in the legislature is two point something percent of our total national budget.

    Out of the N150 billion, the Senate takes a part which is totally inconsequential when you place it side by side with the billions in the pension funds. So the issue of cost cannot be the argument because you would be looking at the wrong place to save cost. When people talk about scrapping the Senate, I wonder what the logic is in having a bicameral legislature. In the world over, you have a bicameral legislature when you have a diverse heterogeneous polity because if you check the representation of the House of Representatives all over the world, you will see that it is based on population. Now, the Senate is based on the equality of the states, so if you scrap the Senate, it means that you have taken care of only the major tribes. So what happens to the minorities who are also Nigerians?

    The minorities are accommodated on the basis of representation through equality of states. It is a bicameral legislature in a multicultural heterogeneous like we have in Nigeria that can address the fears of every Nigerian whether you are from the majority or minority tribe. If you now remove the Senate, you are leaving people like me who are the minority of the minorities to be virtually unprotected. The only people that would be protected would be my colleagues from the major tribes. Would it now be that it is because you want to save cost that you would be denying protection to minorities who are Nigerians? As far as I am concerned, the call for scrapping the Senate has no basis either in fact or in logic.

    Aside the cost which the National Assembly seemingly represents, is it not within the powers of the national legislature to recommend an alternative system of government to cut cost as people say the presidential system we are operating is very expensive?

    Did we not try the parliamentary system before? Why did we abandon it? That answers your question.

    Wasn’t the system not truncated by the military, and not abandoned?

    But when you had an opportunity to choose, you chose a presidential system. So it is not as if you are coming from a situation where you had not tried the other one. We tried it and at that time, the complaint was that it did not work for Nigeria. Now we are operating the presidential system, you say we should go back to the parliamentary. The mindset of the average Nigerian is very curious. I remember in the past when everyone was saying we should liberalise the political space by registering more political parties.

    The argument then was that if you registered more political parties, it would weaken the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), then INEC went ahead to register almost 60 parties, but the PDP got even stronger. Now they are saying that we should go back to a two party system. I think we should investigate the reasons why the parliamentary system was abandoned. Under that system, we kept slipping into one crisis after another and the belief was that we needed a presidential system where the chief executive would be strong enough to hold the country together. I do not think that anything has happened to that logic.

    What would you say about the crises in the Governors’ Forum, the leadership of the party and even the presidency?

    It is an exaggeration and I can give you an example. I was in Port Harcourt some time ago to receive the National Chairman. The next day, all the newspapers reported that Governors Rotimi Amaechi and Emmanuel Uduaghan walked out on the party, but it is not true because that didn’t happen. They refuted it because it was not true. I was there. What happened was that we were already in the bus leaving for the venue when we got information that Governor Uduaghan was nearby and we agreed to wait for him. When he came in, after exchanging pleasantries with everybody, he made it clear that he would have to rush back because he would be travelling. The Asaba Airport, as you may be aware, closes at 6:00pm. So we went to the venue and at a point he had to leave. He went to the National Chairman and took permission from him to leave. Governor Amaechi was the host, so he had to see his guest off. The next thing we heard was that they walked out on the party. If you are walking out, do you seek permission? So all these talks about face-off are exaggerations and imaginations of some sections of the public and media. These governors are PDP governors as well as so many of us. We have our forums for resolving our issues. So people should stop dramatising and creating situations just because they want to paint a particular picture.

    The country has lost millions of dollars through subsidy payments for imported petroleum products. Is it not part of your oversight as lawmakers to put an end to this through an act of parliament by compelling local refining of the products?

    If one part of your body causes you to sin, what do you do? Why are you avoiding the answer? The Bible says that if your left hand leads you to sin, cut it off. If subsidy has become the major source of corruption in this country, then do away with it. Let us not beat around the bush. What act of parliament will you make to force people to invest their money in an environment where they are not sure? People invest money where market forces are at play. You tell somebody to come and invest in a refinery and you are subsidising products, who would invest in such an environment? My take is that if subsidy has become the bedrock of corruption in the country, then we should do away with it.

    You were quoted as blaming the backwardness of the country on the creation of more states. But I want to ask that if Cross River State, where you come from was not created out of the old Eastern Region, would it have given you the opportunity to be in the Senate?

    How many states did we have in 1979 when Dr. Joseph Wayas who is from a minority group emerged as Senate President? Coming from a minority group has nothing to do with state creation. Let us not be emotional about this and let us use facts in our arguments. As at 1965, the economy of the then Eastern Region was the fastest growing economy in the world. By that time also, Nigeria was at par with countries like Singapore, Malaysia, Brazil and Indonesia. There are certain political developments that we have shared in common with those countries, especially in military intervention. Indonesia had its fair share of military rule. One thing we did not share with them and which we must investigate is that their federating units remained the same while ours kept multiplying. Could that be the reason why they left us behind? It is something we have to think about.

    How does state creation undermine development?

    The question you should be asking is how has multiplication of states aided development?

    But people argue that the creation of more states and local governments has brought development or better still, government closer to the people. Do you also differ on this?

    As a child growing up when we still had three regions before the Midwest Region was created, you could open a tap in my remote village and water would gush out. In those days, we had what became known as county secondary schools, but during the civil war when the government took over, they became government secondary schools. Those secondary schools were built by local governments, and then they were called county councils. Local governments built hospitals, water works and tarred roads. Today when a local government pays its members of staff, it becomes news and it is celebrated. Is that development?

    I remember when I wanted to write my first Common Entrance exam in Government College, Afikpo, I was put like a parcel in a vehicle that conveyed mails for the post office. Do we still have that today? And we are talking about development.

    I went to school at a time when we were two in a room in the University of Lagos, when our law library was reputed to be the biggest and the best in the whole of Africa. Those days, when you left your room in the morning for lectures, potters came to your room, dressed your bed and picked your laundry. During meal times, you had a hall mistress that went round and ensured that your meal combination was healthy. By the time we were in our second year, we were being interviewed for jobs. Today, people tell me about development when students graduate without even knowing what a library is. I was discussing with my colleague the lowering standards of education and he told me that there were people who spend four years in school without seeing a proper toilet. These days, when you graduate, you have to wait for 10 years to get a job, is that the development that has been brought about by state creation?

    We should learn to separate emotions from reality. My training as a lawyer is to keep emotions aside and look at facts and I have been looking at these facts. State creation has served its purpose. I was a commissioner when we had 19 states and things were still working. In those days, the states were feasible and there was a lot of development then. A lot of positive things were happening. As we now multiplied the states, bureaucracy bloated, so we are now paying more on salaries than capital development. Is that development? What happened to our economy? What happened to those plantations that we used to have?

    As a child growing up, we had rich people in places like Ikom and Ogoja who made their money by being in Ikom and Ogoja. Today, with state creation, if you are not living in the state capital, you do not have any chance and they tell me it is development. It has gotten to a point when, if you are not in Abuja, you have no chance and they say it is development. It is not about saying that if there was no Cross Rives State, would I have made it to the Senate? There were people who were nowhere and still succeeded. I gave an instance with Dr. Joseph Wayas who was Senate President in 1999, so it has nothing to do with state creation.

  • Before I met my husband, I had vowed not to marry a man with tribal marks -Wife of Kwara monarch Olofa of Offa Misturat Gbadamosi

    Before I met my husband, I had vowed not to marry a man with tribal marks -Wife of Kwara monarch Olofa of Offa Misturat Gbadamosi

    Olori Misturat Sobaloju Gbadamosi, wife of the traditional ruler of Offa, Kwara State, recently marked her 40th birthday. On the occasion , she spoke with OKORIE UGURU about her experiences, the challenges that come with being the wife of a monarch and the secrets that have sustained her marriage with the Olofa. Excerpts:

     

    Most people see the age of 40 as very significant. How would you describe your experiences so far?

    From my personal experience, life is not easy. From what was read in my biography during the celebration, you would see that I did not come from a wealthy family. Life is not easy generally. But I thank God that we are alive today and witnessing everything.

    Could you talk about your growing-up years?

    I am from Ede, Osun State, but I was born in Kaduna State. My father was very gentle and nice. Almost all Ede people in Kaduna State were brought to the state by my father. His name was Alhaji Abdukareem Amolegbe. He was a tailor. My mother is a very quiet person. My father is late now, but my mum is still alive. She is a quiet woman and I think much of my character as a person is derived from them.

    Let me just say that I was my mum’s pet. Yoruba people believe in the concept of abiku (changeling). They said I was born about four times because my sister is 10 years older than I am. She will be 50 by June, while I am just 40. You can see the age difference.

    While I was growing up, things were rough. But if I were to choose between my mum and my dad, I would choose my mum because she is a wonderful mother, always there for me.

    You could be said to have seen both sides of life. Is there any difference between the ordinary woman you were before and being a queen now?

    For me, there is no difference. I am just an ordinary person. I am just called olori and everybody accords me respect. But there is nowhere I would see those who are older than me and I would not accord them their due respect. I will be on the ground before they say ‘olori, get up!’

    You said you had your early education in Kaduna. How was it like?

    It was easy for me because my school was not far from our house. I attended L.E.A. Samaru Primary School, Kakuri. I later went to Government Girls’ Secondary School, Barnawa, Kaduna also. That was where I did my SSCE.

    Did you have any inkling then that things would turn out the way they are?

    No. I am not God. They say if you are going to be rich in this world, you don’t know; so also if you will be poor. It is only God that controls our destiny. They say even if you work from morning to night, if you are not destined to be rich, you will not become rich.

    So, I always believe that if you wake up today and find something to eat, you have to thank God. As we were growing up, things were turning out for the better, but I never dreamt of becoming an olori, even though I knew my husband was a prince.

    What values and lessons did you pick from your parents?

    One of my mum’s common admonitions was that we should not steal or covet what other people have. She said we should pray to God to give us our own. She always told us to have endurance and patience. When we were in school, if they asked us to bring anything, I knew my parents were not rich, so I would have to inform them well ahead of time. If you were asked to bring anything, and you did not tell my mum ahead of time, she would not give it to you. She would tell us that she had to work to get it.

    I have tried to instil that in my children. I warn them to inform me ahead of time when they are told to bring something. I also tell them not to take something that does not belong to them.

    Many of your friends describe you as a humble woman. Where did you get that from?

    I can’t talk about my qualities. But I think my parents were humble too. For example, if I had any little misunderstanding with my husband, he would not talk to me; he would call my mum. For example, if he wants something from me and he knows if he tells me I will not agree, he will call my mum and tell her to talk to me. Once I see her call, I already know. And she too knows that once she talks to me, it is over, She doesn’t want me to leave my husband’s house. She tells me that in a husband’s house, anything good or bad, you have to take it. So, I think the humility comes from my parents. Also, I try not to offend anybody. You know we are like water. We can meet anywhere again.

    How did you meet your husband?

    I met my husband in Sokoto through his uncle who is now late. My husband lived with him for so many years. I used to go to their house, but I didn’t know him from Adam. I used to go with my brother’s wife. I would sit with her in the car and she would drive to Alhaji Mohammed Gbadamosi’s house. He used to see me and we exchanged peasantries.

    One morning, the man called my brother’s wife and said she should branch to his house when bringing the children back from school. She was there and the man told her that he would want her sister-in-law for his son who was based in Lagos. When my brother’s wife came back, she told me ‘Baba says he wants to marry you’. I said which Baba?

    I was imagining how Baba would say he wanted to marry me with two wives at home. So, I said I would not greet the man again. She then explained that actually, he was not the one who wanted to marry me but his son in Lagos. I told her I would have to see the son and then we would talk before I would take a decision.

    Fortunately, maybe he called and his uncle told him what I said. I think some days after, he came around. The uncle then called my sister-in-law and told her that his son was around. She brought him to our house. We saw each other and talked at length. Along the line, everything worked out. I think it was love at first sight.

    Love at first sight?

    Yes, it was love at first sight because the moment I saw him, my mind told me this was the man I was going to live the rest of my life with.

    Was there any particular quality in him that attracted him to you?

    No. Because even when I was young, I always said I could not marry anybody with tribal marks.

    But the Olofa has tribal marks…

    Yes. Even when I took him to my parents that I wanted to marry him, my mum called me aside and asked me, ‘Are you sure you want to marry this man?’ I said yes and asked why she asked. She answered that I used to say that I would not marry any man with tribal marks. I said ‘yes, that is how God wants it.’

    Do you say it was love that covered whatever perceived minuses?

    Yes oh!

    Let’s talk about your fashion sense.

    I would not call myself a very fashionable person. At times, if my husband is on the bed and watching society programmes on the TV and sees, maybe, something on a lady’s neck, he would call me to come and see it. He would ask, ‘Why can’t you buy this kind of jewellery?’ I would tell him I don’t have the money. He would then tell me that if I see it, he would buy it for me.

    From there, I started thinking that this man who would see things on people’s necks and would call me. I also started buying some of these things myself. I don’t follow fashion too much, but I admire those who do.

    What kind of fabrics are you comfortable in?

    I wear anything I like. Any material that I see is beautiful, I buy and sew to my taste. I don’t wear short dresses.

    How about your choice of colour?

    I love the red colour.

    How about perfumes?

    I wear different types of perfumes, but my best is Oganza.

    What would you tell the young ones if they come to you for advice?

    I would always tell them to be patient and tolerant. All that glitters is not gold. Marriage is not an easy thing, but with patience and tolerance, they will excel.

    Anyone listening to you could think you talk like this because things are okay for you. Has it all been rosy since you got married?

    We got married in 1993. He was in Lagos and I was in Sokoto State. When I was pregnant, I lived with his parents and there was nothing in terms of wealth. When I gave birth to my first son, it was almost a year before we joined him in Lagos. Every time I would tell him, ‘Please, I want to come and be with you.’ He would tell me, ‘Where I am working, I cannot rent an apartment where we would stay. You should just stay here.’

    When I saw people with their husbands, I would be downcast and told myself I wished I was the one living with my husband like this. Sometimes, he used to come once in three months. Because there was no money, my husband would come and anything he had, he would drop and go.

    And you would not complain?

    How would I complain? I know that was what she had. I know the type of person he is. If he had more, he would have given. So, when I joined him in Lagos, we lived in the Ijora area. We lived there for about three or four years. I was working. We didn’t have much. Sometimes he would go and would not come back for one week. His family members would come and I would feed them. When they asked, I would tell them he travelled because I knew he did not have.

    Whenever my mum came around, she would only see him twice or thrice. My mum would keep asking, ‘When will your husband come back?’ And he did not have anything to give her. So, he would just stay back. Sometimes my mother would say, ‘This is midnight, when will your husband come back?’ I would tell her he would soon come back. Sometimes she would wake up early in the morning and ask when my husband would come back. I would say he came back around 1 am and had already gone to work. ‘When does he rest?’ she would ask, and I would say Sundays. She would ask it was likely my husband did not want her to come to our house and I would tell her it was not like that; that he was always busy.

    The day he came back and said we had to pack from where we were to Yaba because armed robbers used to disturb us, I asked him where he got money from. He told me I should not worry and that he just did some rice business. That was when he delved into rice business. I told him ‘are you sure we are going to cope with the rent, if we move into the new house?’ He said I should not worry. And if he says I should not worry, I know it will be okay.

    That time, I used to do kunun-zaki (a local delicacy) and took it to different compounds to sell. I was known for that. People would come around to patronise me. I also engaged in other petty trades. That was part of what kept us going. It was when we got to Yaba that things started getting better. I then went into other businesses that were better than selling kunu. It is not an easy journey, but we thank God.

  • What foods and fruits are good for virility?

    You’re a great social and health counselor. Please what class of food and fruits keep a man potent and virile? – Tex Nwaeze.

    Dear Tex, there are many kinds of fruits and foods that can help make your wife love you more in the bedroom. I live in Abuja where you can easily get most of these foods from any of the farmers’ markets in town at very affordable prices. Before I list the names of these foods and fruits, it is important to know that living in a crowded city like Lagos coupled with having a hectic lifestyle can reduce libido if you don’t watch it. So apart from giving you the list of these foods and fruits, I will give you tips of lowering stress level to enable you have a wonderful sex life.

    Ginger:For me personally, ginger does magic for both men and women and I love the feeling it gives. Like chilies, ginger is a food that can supposedly kick your libido into action. Its spicy properties can, according to research, increase blood flow and help with testosterone production.

    Evidence: In Nigeria, Dr. Yinusa Raji of the University of Ibadan fed rats ginger extract for eight days. At the end of the experiment, he found that their testosterone levels had increased. And, to top it off, their testes had gained weight. The study hasn’t been duplicated for verification, but it’s a surprising find nonetheless.

    Almonds: Almonds, and nuts in general, are good for your member and your virility. These foods contain arginine, an amino acid that is a key part of the erection process. In fact, arginine has been called nature’s Viagra. I take the supplement daily and I can tell you that arginine is one of the best things nature has ever produced. You not only have an active sex life, you glow too. Just check out my skin!

    Evidence: Studies at the Harbor-UCLA Medical Center Department of Surgery in Torrance, California, found that arginine increased the frequency and duration of erections in rats. It’s not quite the same thing as testing the amino acid on humans, but it’s worth further study. And eating almonds and other nuts can help lower your cholesterol levels to boot.

    Walnuts may provide a real, all-natural alternative to Viagra. The Romans and French have used them as aphrodisiacs for centuries. Like almonds, they contain arginine, but in higher quantities.

    Hard evidence: A team of researchers at the University of Malaya in Malaysia recently decided to test the ancient love potion. They squeezed about 3.3 kilograms of walnuts to produce a super-potent extract. The result is a pill that can keep you rock solid for up to four hours. It has been approved in Malaysia and the researchers hope to get broader approval in the future. In the meantime, you might want to chow down on some walnuts. But use them in moderation, as they’re high in calories and could lead to love handles — they’re a fast snack, but not the healthiest.

    Chilies: Spicy chilies can also add some zing to your sex life. The “hot” ingredient, capsaicin, increases your heart rate, dilates blood vessels and releases endorphins, which is definitely a plus when you’re feeling passionate.

    Hard evidence: A team of Hungarian researchers at the Albert Szent-Gyorgyi Medical University measured vascular dilation and permeability in rats that had a healthy dose of capsaicin. No surprises, hot chilies triggered increased blood flow and dilated blood vessels. Does this mean you should rub chili paste on your lil’ john? No, definitely not. Still, eating chili peppers, or food that contains them, can raise your heart rate, increase blood flow and release endorphins.

    Celery: If you smell nice, you’ll have better luck with the ladies. But you’ll need more than Old Spice to really get them going. Celery contains the hormone androsterone, which is released through male perspiration. It’s odorless, but it signals “maleness” and virility as a pheromone and could, therefore, land you a date. Eat a bunch of celery and you’ll be pumping out androsterone in no time.

    Evidence: Some romantic scientists at the University of Kentucky tested androsterone’s effects by spraying it on photos of, well, homely guys. They showed the photos to various women before and after the treatment. When their photos were sprayed, those average guys were perceived as more “attractive.” Now, where can we get some of this celery cologne?

    Eat up: With enhancers like Viagra storming the market for all you under-performers out there, it’s hard to imagine almonds, walnuts and tomatoes garnering the same results. But, when you think about the health benefits of popping a few oysters as opposed to popping a few pills, the natural way is just so much more uplifting.

     

  • Remi Adikwu- Bakare resurfaces

    Remi Adikwu- Bakare resurfaces

    In the Lagos socio-political space, Chief (Mrs) Remi Adikwu-Bakare is a name that readily rings a bell. Perhaps the last time the public heard about Remi, the beautiful wife of Chief Stephen Bakare of the Oluwalogbon fame, was her botched attempt to become the governor of Lagos State. But the dogged governorship aspirant seems to have surfaced again after giving social outings a wide berth.

    Celeb watch gathered that her son, Micheal Osondu Olabode Adiukwu, will be tying the nuptial knot in the next few weeks with his heartthrob of many years. Micheal is her last born and we learnt she is pulling all the strings to give him a grand wedding in Anambra State and London. The first leg of the wedding holds in Anambra State on May 18.

    The latest groom in town will have his traditional marriage with Princess Angel Amaka Nwokedi, the beautiful daughter of the late Akuwate Fidelis Nwokedi from Amukabia, Achalla, Anambra State. The groom is the son of the late Otunba Major Remigius Onyeanaucheya Adiukwu from Eziudo, Ezinihitte, Mbaise, Imo State. The traditional marriage of the lovebirds will hold at Uthoko Na Eze palace, Amukabia Achalle, Anka North, Anambra State.

    Stylish Remi Adiukwu-Bakare is already exhalling whoops of joy because it is the first time a son of hers would be tying the nuptial knot.

  • Dimeji Bankole’s latest moves

    Dimeji Bankole’s latest moves

    Just when he appears to have disappeared from the minds of many, former Speaker of the House of Representatives, Dimeji Bankole, is staging a comeback. Those who should know say Bankole is quietly putting structures in place to re-launch himself into political reckoning.

    Insiders claim he is still very close to many members of the House of Representatives. That, according to an inside source, is why he is staying put in Abuja where things are happening. Bankole is widely believed to have fallen out with the presidency and others on account of his differences with President Goodluck Jonathan.

  • Rita Amene lies low

    The whereabouts of Rita Amene, the erstwhile lover of Benny Obaze, the owner of Bevista and Rivista, a fashion outlet that stocks wears and accessories for socialites, celebrities and fashion connoisseurs, is the question on many lips at the moment.

    A couple of years ago, the duo were an inseparable pair. At a time, it was speculated that they were planning a superlative wedding. Many looked forward to the wedding but it never materialised. The love-filled bubble, however, burst and the two went their separate ways. Their supposedly altar-bound romance fizzled into the air like smoke. Rita inevitably went off the social radar and Benny moved on to marry a Port Harcourt-based big girl.

    Rita, a successful banker, is still hugging her cloak of anonymity long after the break-up and everyone keeps wondering where she is.

  • I feel bad whenever my stepchild comes visiting

    While courting my wife she confessed by mistake she had a baby, I didn’t care then but now I feel

    different. I am finding it difficult to cope with the thought especially whenever the child comes visiting. I wish I had not gone into it, though our marriage is blessed with two children. – Disturbed Abbey

    Dear Abbey, I understand how you feel but it’s an unwholesome feeling, I must tell you. Yes, you may feel bad that your wife has a child who is older than your own children and who may even be old enough to pass as your wife’s brother or sister. It may make you feel that your wife is old. Another emotion you may also be passing through is the fact that your wife would certainly be having private time with this child because as you’re feeling the way you are feeling right now, she may not want to get you involved in the child’s life, which would make you feel worse because you may be jealous of the time they spend together laughing and enjoying each other’s company. Wake up my dear brother, there’s nothing you can do about it if she’s a good mother. A mother will love all her children irrespective of how many fathers she got them for.

    If you like what I do, then you must know that I became what I am today partly because of the love my late stepfather, Mr. Jimi Allen gave me from a child of three years old till I became a young woman. My love for spirituality, for people, for music, for beauty and for service to mankind all came from his practical teachings. Be a good stepdad to your additional child and learn to love him or her. No matter how you look at it, he/she is a part of you. If he/she does not get real love and goes into crime or other bad things, your children are going to be stained because that is their blood brother or sister who is involved. For the sake of God and those children who share the same blood with this person you feel uncomfortable about, accommodate him/her and borrow something from the tips below.

    •Be patient when waiting for your new stepchild to respond to your caring, affection, and love. Often, the child is deeply wounded by circumstances involving their biological father and the breakdown of their primary, original family unit. For many, building a new relationship is threatening to them. Time is the best healer but so is keeping actively positive and supporting yourself whenever you’re around the child.

    •Spend time with the stepchild in his or her activities. Helping with schoolwork, projects, and attending sporting events or clubs like scouting they’re involved with will show them you’re willing to support their efforts. The more involved you are, the sooner the child will accept you in your role of alternative dad and be grateful that you’re a part of his or her life too.

    •Balance the time and gifts you give your own children with the stepchild. Both your own children and your stepchild are a part of your family now. Avoid playing favourites under any circumstances; each child is to be treated as equal, and no child deserves to be treated as an outcast.

    Keep a watchful eye on how your stepchild interacts with your own children, if you have any. Jealousy is toxic to any relationship. If this appears to be occurring, try to head it off immediately. To maintain a happy family atmosphere, step-sibling anger must be dealt with fairly and prudently.

    Never treat your stepchild like he or she is not worthy of your time or affection just because he or she is not your biological child.

    Never make your step child feel like you don’t care or like them, or that they are in the way of your relationship with their mother.

    •Invite the stepchild to participate in your own activities. If you fish, golf, or do other hobby activities, where it is appropriate, take your stepchild along. Not only does this give the child a chance to see what you enjoy, but it gives his or her mother a break. On the other hand, never force the child to do what you’ve asked––if he or she shows a disinclination toward fishing or rewiring the house, don’t force it. Given time and your enthusiasm, the child might come around to trying it. But if he or she is never interested, then that’s just a reflection of his or her interests, not a reflection on you. Pushing the child to do things he or she hates just to try and prove you’re buddies will backfire. Instead, keep looking for common ground until you do find an activity the child would like to share with you.

    Spend time with your stepchild and teach him or her ways to become a responsible adult.

    Show the child you’re willing to help out in housework. It is important for children to understand that keeping a household is a family job, a shared household responsibility, and not just the mother’s. Don’t be old-fashioned, even if the child’s real father is.

    •Communicate clearly and calmly. Let your stepchild know that you are available to talk whenever needed and be a good listener when your stepchild does come to you for a chat. Be open-minded and accepting of difference, as the child has had different experiences before you came along. Make your own preferences known without being harsh or intimidating––always explain your actions and preferences with sound reasons.

    Never let the only interaction you have with your stepchild that day be yelling and screaming. You should always try to focus on the positive things they do and not always the things they are doing wrong.

    Keep your negative opinions of the child’s biological father to yourself. Unless you’re asked directly, don’t bring up your opinions of him in front of the children or anyone else. If you are asked directly, be circumspect and tactful, as there is often a risk of an emotional overflow. Each parent’s parenting style is different and unless the father is not taking part in parenting at all or is abusive in any way, you don’t need to pass judgment.

    Never argue with the child’s mother in front of the child. Be especially careful about making derogatory remarks about her where the child may hear. The child will be highly alert to any disharmony, mostly due to a sense of protectiveness toward the mother and holding a strong hope that this new relationship will result in creating a happy family arrangement.

    •Respect the child’s private space. Any child, from preteen through their teen years deserve a reasonable amount of privacy and private space, and unless there is serious concern about the child’s behavior or activity, the more space they are given, the more trusted they will feel.

    •Raise the child in alignment with the child’s mother’s wishes, not contrary to them. This means having open lines of communication with the mother about her expectations and intentions for raising your stepchild, and having clarity on the direction both of you will take. As much as possible, defer to her preferences unless they are dangerous or threaten to destabilize the family or relationship the two of you have.

    Respect the child’s mother’s disciplinary and homework regimens. Even if you think they may be out of line, don’t raise this in front of the child or make passing remarks that undermine her. Instead, talk to her privately about your concerns and try to reach a compromise that benefits the child.

    Discuss decisions which affect your stepchild directly or indirectly with his or her mother. Don’t sign the child up for a summer at a military academy or sports camp without talking it over with her. Don’t buy the child firearms, fireworks or even seemingly harmless ones like paintball guns or BB guns without her knowledge and consent. Never take the child out on an ATV, snowmobile, micro-light or other potentially dangerous recreational vehicle without her express permission.

    Talk about computer games, video games, and other cultural influences with the child’s mother. Social pressure will often press on mom to let the child do it, whatever “it” is, because everyone else is doing “it”.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Abike Dabiri-Erewa gets credit

    The Black and White cum Elegance and Style Awards have come and gone, but those who were part of the soiree have not stopped talking about it. The ball, which also featured an award ceremony at Ruby Gardens, Lekki, Lagos penultimate Sunday, also recognised outstanding fashion enthusiasts. The tube girl turned House of Representatives member, Abike Dabiri-Erewa, was one of those recognised. She was voted the most stylish lawmaker.

    Dabiri, a journalist with the Nigerian Television Authority before embracing politics, was nominated alongside some other female House Representatives members. Still basking in the euphoria of the award, Dabiri-Erewa had another feather added to her cap recently when a street in Ikorodu part of Lagos was named after her on account of her contributions in the House of Representatives.

  • ‘Why I will live up to 120’

    ‘Why I will live up to 120’

    Rev (Dr) Samuel T. Akande, former General Secretary of the Nigerian Baptist Convention was the first preacher to vie for election in Nigeria. As a presidential aspirant under the defunct National Republican Convention (NRC), he attracted criticisms from many quarters. He spoke last week with Sunday Oguntola in his Ibadan home on the experiment, his many battles as a church leader and life in retirement.

    You clocked 87 some weeks back. How does it feel at 87?

    Well, I still feel young and very active. I eat well – twice in a day in the morning and evening. In the afternoon, I just take snacks. But sometimes I just drink cold water only and that is sufficient for me. Sometimes, I eat groundnuts, which Americans call peanuts. I do a lot of walking-exercise every time in the morning. I walk around our big compound for about 35 minutes.

    My brain is still alert. I just completed works on the third edition of my book, The courage to live. I did the Yoruba version of it. The foreword was written by the late Chief S.O Adebo. I am working on another book, which is being published in the United States of America. The Nigerian edition will follow shortly. So, I try to keep young and active every time.

    You retired some 17 years ago, what have you been doing?

    I retired as the Executive Secretary of the Nigerian Baptist Convention at 65 after I served there for 40 years. I was first a pastor, then lecturer at the Nigerian Baptist Theological Seminary, Ogbomoso. Then, I became the President of the Nigerian Baptist Convention and retired as General Secretary/Chief Executive. When I was serving as the secretary in Nigeria, I was also serving as the secretary of the World Baptist Alliance in Africa. That position took me to not less than 49 countries in the world. Now, I feel fulfilled and I thank God.

    In retirement, I am running a school, which my wife and I founded some 18 years ago in Texas, USA. We call it International Institute of Evangelism that trains evangelists and teachers of the world. It is an inter-denominational school. It was registered here in Nigeria in 2000. We meet regularly every Saturday at Immanuel School, Samanda, Ibadan.

    In the early 90s, you made history as the first preacher to contest an election. What gave you the audacity to contest the presidential election under the defunct National Republican Convention (NRC)?

    I never thought of it until 1992 when some people came from Lagos. I can’t remember whether they were Baptists or not. They said people were pointing out that since former President Ibarahim Babangida had assured he was going, credible Nigerians like me can make a difference. I was born in Awe near Oyo but raised in Ghana. Having been a minister of the gospel who will not compromise and care so much about the welfare of the nation, they thought I would make a difference. When that message kept coming, I went to pray and felt the Lord seemed to be saying to me ‘you don’t have money but you could contest elections and you might win’.

    At that time, Baptists would not hear that one of them, let alone their chief executive officer was vying for election. But because I felt God wanted me to do it, I went into it and registered with NRC. As soon as some of these Baptists heard that I had registered, they began to call for my resignation. One of the men who called for my resignation at that time eventually became a civilian president of this country. He is a Baptist. But I didn’t care. I went into it and began to mobilise, telling everyone I was going to be President.

    There was this man called Chief Adeseun Ogundoyin from Eruwa. I went to him and said, ‘Ogundoyin, I’d like to contest presidential election. How do I go about it?’ The first question he asked me was how much I was earning. I said N1, 341. That was my pension, what I was being paid despite having five academic degrees, all from America. Then he said ‘since you are interested, I will help you. I will speak to Babangida that I have a candidate’. Right there, he went ahead and talked to Babangida, who said I could contest. So, I went around canvassing people.

    The first amount he gave me was N10, 000. I never saw that amount of money before…

    (Interjects) Even as chief executive of a large church like the Baptist Convention?

    … Of course, I wasn’t receiving that much. I was only signing cheques for people. I never received that much. So, I began to campaign and the time came for me to contest the election at the state level. Many people kept criticising but I insisted I’d go into it since God said I should. But I didn’t know that God had a different plan for calling me into it. I went into it and the day of election came here in Ibadan. I won here. At that time, there was no Ondo, Ekiti or Osun states. They all came together and voted for me.

    When I was declared the winner and lifted up, I had only N500 in my pocket and I was afraid someone might tuck his hands into my pocket as they were lifting me up and take the money. So, I held on tight to my pocket to preserve the money. Some of them noticed and came when I was bought down. They said ‘what kind of a president would you be if you can hold on to common N500? Then we went to Port-Harcourt for the National Convention where I also contested. As soon as we got there, people from Oyo State, now Osun, Ondo and Ekiti said ‘don’t vote for this Akande. He would not allow us to chop’. With that kind of message going round, I did not win there. I said to them, ‘you will continue to chop but you will chop and chop until you have stomach ache’ Don’t we all have it now? Since then, I have never shown interest in politics again.

    But then later, I discovered that during the time I was in politics, God helped me. Before then, I didn’t have a house or a car…

    As Baptist Convention President and General Secretary?

    I never did. I was earning N1, 341 until I retired. What can one do with that kind of money? Then, Ogundoyin bought me two cars- a Mercedes Benz and Toyota Station Wagon. He gave me money to complete this house where we now live. Then, I realised God diverted me to politics so that He could bless me. Since then, I stopped talking politics because we haven’t made any progress at all. We are still where we were before I contested.

    Is that because you have given up on Nigeria?

    Sometimes one wishes to give up on Nigeria. There is no progress, development or change. Things are going from bad to worse and we are making many bad names around the world. My wife and I travelled to America one day to visit our children. We both have tribal marks. As soon as we landed in one airport and they saw our marks, they moved us to one side since they were sure we are Nigerians. They set Alsatian dogs on us. They were sniffing our bodies for cocaine. We were begging saying we spent over 15 years in the United States and our children have been there. They just wouldn’t listen to us. They released us after a thorough search.

    But I am hoping that maybe one day God will raise up a leader who will be tough on the citizens. Any leader that is not tough and straightforward cannot transform this country. I had a lot of problems when I was General Secretary of the Convention. The war was too much because I was not ready to compromise and people wanted me to. That was why they kept saying Akande is bad. I have no problems over such perception. Today, I am a happy man.

    Yes, people really hated your guts and said many terrible things about you. How do you react to them?

    Don’t mind them. They just wanted me to compromise. They wanted me to see something that is black and say it is white. If any Baptist Church in those days tried to change our mode of worship, I would go there straight and wage war against them. I would threaten to remove them from the Convention. Today, things have changed; many Baptist Churches have become Pentecostal. They are no longer Baptists. If I heard of any pastor who did something bad, I would report straight to the ministerial board. But if I found the board was dilly-dallying, I would go straight to that church and tell them your pastor is not doing well. Because of that, they said I was confrontational and dictatorial.

    Were you not?

    Yes, I was because I was raised in Ghana. I went to High School in Cape Coast from 1945-1949. I taught for two years in Ghana in a town called Suhun. The very same night I got there, I met the lady who became my wife. She bought food for me and I soon as I saw her, my heart went to her. From December 15, 1949 we went into courtship until December 15 1956 when we got married. We have been married for 56 years and four months.

    But you see when I was General Secretary, they prefer that I see things and look away. I knew that people were very dishonest then even in the church. As Secretary, I gave out contracts to people and they would approach me with my own ‘share’ after completion. Of course, I’d flatly refuse. One of the leaders came to me one day and advised me to compromise; that I was too tough on the people.

    My reaction was that if God was behind my election, no man would be able to remove me. They tried all kinds of things. I was President from May 1, 1977 to April 30, 1979. I became Secretary from May 1, 1979 to April 30, 1991. In the last year, people wanted to remove me and I insisted they would not succeed. I retired gloriously on April 30, 1991.

    Sometime in October 1990, I had got ready and packed my things for Ede where we were to meet for the monthly meeting of the Executive Committee of the Convention. As I was about to leave the Baptist building, I got a telephone call from one of the officers of the Convention not to attend the meeting. He said there were two lorry-loads of ‘kill-and-go’ policemen to arrest me. I was already in politics then. I heard the policemen accused me of bringing thugs to the meeting venue. I knew where it came from. They were the women leaders of the Baptist Convention and I never went. The policemen waited to no avail. They wanted to disgrace me and take me to Ilesa prison.

    There were also allegations that you were diabolical. How true were they?

    Yes, I heard all of that too. They accused me of using talisman to bewitch them. You see I had a ring. You know people can be so stupid. I bought it for $100 from the US when I graduated. When anybody graduates from America with cum laude, it means he has graduated so well with honour. So, I was putting the ring on just for decoration.

    When I became General Secretary, each time we went to the convention and they would ask a question, I was always at a loss. This was because we would have tough 30-40 questions because they just wanted me to fail. I’d be rubbing my hands, thinking of how to answer the questions. Suddenly, I’d remember I had a ring on and start rubbing it. Somehow the answer would come and they would be shouting, ‘he has come o. He is bewitching us o’.

    When I realised that, I discovered I had something to make them fear me. So, from that time, at conventions I‘d raise the ring and be rubbing it. They would keep shouting openly that I was using talisman. If anybody died in those days and we had confrontations before then, they would say I was responsible for it. There was the case of one pastor in Oke-Ogun, Oyo State. I helped him go to America for his degree. But he loved women too much and I knew this even before he left. We had moved the wife after he left from their official residence on the orders of the Convention. She then went to report me to people in Oke-Ogun.

    When the husband returned, the woman had rented a house owned by an Alhaji in Felele area of Ibadan. This Alhaji had a beautiful young lady that the pastor was having an affair with. The Alhaji went to Molete Baptist to meet the elders and told the pastor to be very careful. But in the meantime when this man was going to America, he owed the Nigerian Baptist Convention N90, 000 and I used to write to him to pay up but he did not bulge. He kept reporting that I was harassing him.

    So, one day, he had an affair with this lady again. He refused to stop because it was already part of his nature. He took his bath and walked away from the house. Unfortunately, he had contacted a charm that forbids one from crossing a river. The moment he crossed it, he fell down and died in front of a woman selling beans. When people heard he was dead, they said, ‘Akande had killed him’. In fact, the people in his town till date believe I killed him. They said the moment he came before me with the money, he just died. I simply said, ‘that is your business.’

    Are you bothered by such allegations and bad perceptions?

    Who cares? I am not at all. God is my protection. People are free to believe whatever they want about me but I know my hands are clean. That is why I believe I cannot die now. I am going on to 120 years. One of our lecturers in the school who turned 73 recently was visited by students. They prayed he would live to be 90 and he said, ‘No o, I don’t want to be alive up to 90’. I was like, ‘That is your business.’ I am going up to 120.

    What else would you be doing till then?

    I would simply be seeing all my children and grandchildren. I have five children and they are all American citizens. I want to see my great, great grandchildren. What is wrong with that? I still want to enjoy life in Nigeria. This house is on a three-and-half plot of land that somebody gave to us. I went to preach at the wedding of his daughter and printed out my sermon outline. He was so happy that he gave me a plot in Ojodu, Lagos and I said I can never live in Lagos again. I said I would take a land anywhere in Ibadan. He brought me here and handed it over to me. His name was Chief Supo Morohundiya, a successful lawyer and native of Ibadan. Somebody then came and asked why I was not building it then. The man helped me with cement and started building for me then he stopped. I took over until someone else completed it for us.

    You mean you did not receive a house from the Convention?

    No, there was nothing like that. I understand they do that now. But in my own case, that was how I got the house.

    What has changed in Nigeria between then and now?

    You see people were not running after money then. There was contentment and satisfaction with everything people had. From 1952-1955, I was in Abeokuta as pastor in Owu Baptist Church. Until then, this country was fine. But the elections of 1965 opened our eyes to the possibility of rigging. I was a member of the Federal Electoral Commission. In those days, we called it Western Region Electoral Commission. I used to have a picture all the members took somewhere. Only two of us are alive; others have died. The other man is in Ile-Ife, a lawyer. Mr. Esua was our chairman. I noticed that there would be troubles. Some of the politicians who have big names today and others who have died would come to our meetings and boast of winning.

    They would say, ‘We are going to win whether you like it or not. Those of you who will not cooperate will be dealt with.’ I was particularly singled out for intimidation and harassment. They said, ‘if you are not careful, your stomach will become so big that it will burst’. We heard all of that. I didn’t know that the secretary was already in league with them.

    One day, something terrible happened. Our Secretary was Mr. Ojerinola while his immediate predecessor was Mr. Oke. Oke was walking from his office when gunmen aimed at him. They thought he was Ojerinola. They were going to kill him. He was hit and he died. I preached at his funeral service. That was the introduction of violence in the nation’s electoral history.

    The day of the election was fixed and I went on to Abeokuta. I was the electoral officer for Abeokuta. I went to a polling booth and saw a woman ‘pregnant’ with voter cards. I didn’t know that other members of the commission had been compromised. They had signed that the election was free and fair. But Esua did not sign. They brought the letter to me in Abeokuta. I said I can never sign such a letter. I accompanied three other members to England where we were to print the ballot papers. We were to print it in Stuttgart, Germany and I kept on telling them not to rig. They felt I would disturb them. They decided to drop me in Nigeria and went back to England to print the papers. When they came back, they declared a terrible result. That episode led to military intervention in this country. The truth is, I don’t know if Nigerians can ever change. We keep showing we are not ready for change.

    Are you still angry with the Nigerian Baptist Convention on some of the ill-treatments you spoke about?

    I am not angry again. Those who did it God has dealt with them. I don’t attend Convention sessions again because I am too old for that. But you see all the young boys who are there now don’t listen to advice. Yet, none of them was born when I entered the gospel ministry. One of the retired General Secretaries was four years old when I joined the ministry. They don’t ask me for advice and I don’t need them to ask me. There was one of my successors who packed all my documents to one side.

    Another one living in the house that I built for them ordered his family to be cooking close to the plaque that registered my name to obliterate it. It took another Secretary to undo that injustice. So, I have been through a lot but I have forgiven them. I believe the reason why God has preserved my life is to confirm that I am their leader. I am still their Baba. They cannot wish me away.

  • I’m ready to kill myself if I don’t know if he loves me

    Dear Adeola, I love reading your page a lot. I’m Treasure, I’m 18 years old

    and am dating a guy whom I love but I don’t know if he loves me due to my shyness. Please reply. I am confused and ready to kill myself.

    You claim to love reading my column but sometimes, the things I feel like saying would make you dislike me. If you feel like killing yourself just because you’re not sure of a guy’s love, then maybe you’re welcome to do just that. You don’t have to seek the counsel of

    a soothsayer before you know if a guy loves you. I have treated that many times on this page and I have published hints of knowing if he just wants a fling or a serious relationship.

    In these times when some of your mates are battling with how to survive cancer, hunger, lack of funds for education and family neglect, you want to die because of a guy. Okay o, do what your mind tells you. I’m out of it. But in case you want to touch base with reality, let me just say this: Learn to love yourself first. When you love yourself, you won’t be bothered about so many trivial things.