“You should not blame her too much. She must have been spoilt as a child and never learnt the things a woman needed to know about running her home,” my mother stated one evening. We were sitting in the main living-room watching a programme on TV. Meera had travelled out of the country for what she termed, ‘to rest a bit and do some shopping.’ I wondered what she was resting from: excessive partying and drinking perhaps, I thought grimly to myself.
I however, listened to my mum’s advice and decided to be more tolerant about Meera’s behaviour. I had no choice as we were already married and there was nothing I could do about it. Besides, things were going very well for me in my business. Within a few years, it had grown so big that we had to move to a bigger space and employ more staff. I had grown very rich in such a short time. And what gave me even more satisfaction was that I had achieved most of it by my own efforts, with some support from my wife and her family. I lived an opulent lifestyle, drove expensive cars and wore the best clothes.
Despite all that, though, I was not truly happy. It was like something was missing in my life, a void that money or luxuries could not fill. The truth was that I was not happy in my marriage. By this time, Meera and I were quarreling most of the time. As her behavior grew more outrageous, so did my anger with her. There were times, we would not speak to each other for weeks though we lived in the same house.
I tried to reason with her but it was no use.
“You need to break away from these friends of yours. A married woman shouldn’t be keeping so many single friends and jumping from one party, one club to another, drinking and getting into all kinds of wild behaviour,” I said one day. It was our fourth wedding anniversary and she had been drinking and smoking all day and was not fully sober.
“You are beginning to get on my nerves with all this nagging. This was how I was when you met me. You have to accept me the way I am or you can get out,” she responded, blowing cigarrette smoke in my face.
* * *
It was at this stage that Elfreda came back into my life. I had not seen her since we broke up. From friends, I had been getting news about her life though. I learnt she had gone back to school, got a Masters degree and was working in a top firm. And had remained single.
We ran into each other at the wedding of a mutual friend. She hadn’t changed much. She was dressed in a pale blue dress with a smart hat perched on her head. She looked very pretty in the outfit and my eyes were continually drawn to her. Initially, she was very cold towards me and refused to return my greeting or even acknowledge my presence. But my friend, Dick, who was also at the event, spoke to her and we later got talking. I apologized profusely for what I had done to her.
“Fifi,” I said, using the nickname I had given her and always called her with, “I know no words are strong enough to express how sorry I am about the way I treated you. But if you can find it in your heart to forgive me…” I said in a beseeching tone.
She smiled a little at me then said:
“I forgave you long ago so you don’t have to worry about that.” Then she added:
“But that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten. You hurt me too badly for me to forget that easily.”
We were sitting in my car at the car park of the venue of the wedding reception. She turned towards me in the small confines of the car and said:
“At least something good came out of it all. Just look at you! You’ve done really well for yourself and have become such a successful businessman. You must be very happy,” she stated.
I smiled wryly at her.
“Don’t be deceived by outward appearances. One can look happy on the surface, but really miserable inside,” I replied, thinking of my situation at home with Meera. We were supposed to have attended the wedding together but she had been unable to make it as she was sleeping off the effect of a party she had gone to the previous day. We had had another row before I had left the house that morning for my friend’s wedding.
“With all your wealth, why would you be sad?” she wondered, a questioning look in her eyes.
“There are certain things that money can’t buy in this world,” I stated enigmatically.
“Like…?” she asked curiously.
Peace of mind. Contentment. Happiness. Marital bliss… But I didn’t voice my thoughts but simply looked searchingly into her eyes. She must have read something in my expression for she sighed and looked away. That was the thing with Elfreda- she sometimes had the ability to read what was on my mind, fathom my innermost thoughts without my speaking.
She reached for the door.
“I need to get back to the party. I came with a friend and he must be looking for me by now.”
“Is he a boyfriend?” I asked, suddenly feeling jealous even though I knew I had no right to.
She shook her head.
“Just a friend.”
As she made to step down from the car, I held her hand.
“I’ll like to see you again, Fifi. I hope you don’t mind.”
“I don’t think it’s wise. You are married now and…”
“I know,” I quickly cut in. “Please. At least for old times sake. It will mean a lot to me,” I pleaded.
She shrugged.
“Alright,” she said.
The following week, we met up for lunch at a restaurant not too far from my office. She was on leave so she had not gone to work. Like she had stated, it wasn’t very wise for us to be seeing each other again but I just couldn’t help myself. Meeting her again at that wedding had brought back memories of the past, of the time we had been together. It made me realize what I had lost when we broke up; the genuine love, affection and deep friendship Elfreda and I shared. I never felt that way about Meera. In my own way, I loved my wife especially at the beginning of our relationship though for sometime now, it was becoming more difficult to feel anything for her but anger and resentment.
That day, Elfreda and I spent a long time at the restaurant, chatting and reminiscing about old times. It was like, we had never parted, never separated…
As I drove back to the office after we parted, I felt happy for the first time in ages. It was like a heavy weight had been lifted off my chest, leaving me with a euphoric feeling.
Together again
After that day, we saw again a couple of times. The old attraction was still there between us and with time, we were back to our old relationship, becoming lovers again. I never planned to be unfaithful to my wife but in a way, she caused it due to the situation at home which had worsened. Apart from her excessive partying and clubbing, Meera had also started taking lovers outside. I had heard rumors which I dismissed as idle talk. But that changed when she even had the guts to bring one of her boyfriends home.
I had returned from work one evening to see her sitting cosily with a man in the main living room. I had never seen him before and when I questioned her about him, she replied that he was a business partner. They later went out together and she did not return home till the following evening. That day, we had a big fight as I was so mad at her that she was not just cheating on me but was flaunting her affairs in my face.
Later, I reported her to her family so they could intervene in the matter. While her brother, Tony, tried to talk some sense into her, her mum only ended up fanning the flames of discord in our home.
“What do you mean she should stop going clubbing?” her mum queried when I complained about her daughter’s incessant partying as well as her affairs. “So, because she’s now married, she should start living like the Pope, is it? You should leave my daughter alone to enjoy herself, ok! You are doing nothing but stressing her with all these your complaints!”
In this type of volatile atmosphere at home, you could imagine why I turned to Elfreda for some comfort. I always felt happy and relaxed when I was with her. She was everything Meera was not: loving, caring and homely as well…
To be continued
What happened to Dave, Meera and his old flame Elfreda? Join us for the final episode next Saturday!
Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals.
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