The Nation Newspaper

Category: Relationships

  • My cousin is married to a conman but who will tell her?’ (2)

    Ella had been married for about two years and I and the rest of the family were beginning to warm to him when his true colors were revealed. And it came about in a way no one expected. It happened this way. My husband,

    Eric, is a businessman and he does a lot of travelling in the course of his business.

      

    Sometime ago, he was on a business trip to a neighbouring country when by chance, he found out certain things about Jack’s past that shocked everyone of us who heard it. Eric was to have stayed about two weeks in the country but he cut the trip short to return home. 

    “Honey, what happened? I wasn’t expecting you till next week!” I said as I hugged him before taking his bag.

     

    He sighed then sat down on the couch and said:

    “Something came up and my plans changed. Come and sit.” After I had sat down, he brought out a newspaper which he gave me. I looked at him askiance, before glancing at the paper. It was a foreign one, from the country he was returning from. It was opened to a page and a picture on it immediately drew my attention.

    “What’s this? What’s Jack’s picture doing in a foreign paper?” I asked my husband. 

     

      “Why don’t you read the text?” he said. I did and what I read left me stupefied. It was a public notice declaring Jack wanted by the police for fraud, extortion and other offences. He was said to have made away with a large sum of money running into nearly half a million dollars said to belong to his wife.

    “What? Could this be true? Jack has another wife? How come?” I asked, the questions tumbling out. I just could not believe it. Though I had had some misgivings about my cousin’s husband right from the beginning, I never in my wildest dreams knew it could be this bad. 

     

      I listened as Eric narrated what had transpired on his trip. “The hotel I stayed in distributes free copies of the paper to guests. So, one evening in my room, I was going through my copy when I chanced on the picture. Just like you, I was shocked; the name is different, probably a fake name, but it’s definitely Jack. Unless he has a twin we don’t know about. Anyway, the following day, I called one of the numbers listed there. It happened to be the said wife whom he had swindled. 

     

    “I pretended I was a private detective and offered my services to her, stating I could help her trace her missing husband and recover her money. She seemed interested. We met up some time later and that was when she narrated the whole sordid story. She said she met aback at a nightclub in the city, got talking and later became friends. Jack, the woman stated claimed to be from Cameroun, the English speaking part and was in the country for business. One thing led to another and she fell in love. Before long, they got married and Jack moved into her house. 

     

    Some months after the marriage, Jack, she stated suggested they should go into the importation business together. “He told me computers and mobile phones and accessories sold like hot cakes in his country and that if we imported them in large quantities from China, and took them to Cameroun, we would make double the amount we invested. It sounded like a good proposal and I decided to invest in the business. I gathered all the cash I had and even sold one of my buildings that I rent out, to raise the amount he said we needed for the business. He called me the first few days after he travelled then to my shock, the calls stopped abruptly. No calls, contact, nothing. I could not reach him on any of his phone lines? All this happened nearly three years ago.

     

      “Initially, I thought he was involved in an accident or some kind of trouble. But I found out later that he never travelled to China as he claimed. It was Dubai he went to and from there, he disappeared to God knows where. I later sent someone to Cameroun, to his house address where he claimed his parents lived. But we were told there was nobody like that living there. The address is a workshop where welders and other artisans work. The bastard duped me and made away with all my life’s savings. It will never be well with him wherever he is! I’m ready to spend whatever it takes to get him, so he can pay for what he did to me,” the woman had vowed.

     

    ***

    After Eric stopped talking, we sat down for a while in silence. It was a shocking story; the type you read about in the papers but never think it could happen to someone close to you. God, how could this happen to Ella, were my thoughts as I mulled over things.

    Later, we discussed the next line of action, especially how to break the news to Ella that the man she was married to was a big time con man, a ‘419’ (in local parlance), a man who could marry a woman on false pretences just to clean her out of her hard earned money.

     

    Was he planning to do the same to my cousin, Ella? Ella had a lot of money and investments so was that his plan in marrying her so quickly after they met? How would Ella take the news? She was already pregnant with their second child, so was in a delicate situation. How do you break that kind of news to someone in her condition, I thought glumly.

    “So, what are we going to do now? Should we tell her the truth about Jack?” I asked Eric.

    “Obviously, yes. We can’t keep this kind of information from her; it’s only fair that she be informed,” he replied. 

    The issue now is, who is going to tell her? I was reluctant to do it because I know how much Ella loves her husband. Besides, she has invested so much in the marriage that such news would be devastating to her. Is it right that we should break her illusions, shatter her dreams of marital bliss? Should we tell her as my husband has suggested or let sleeping dogs lie, hoping that she will discover the truth by herself? What if he ends up duping her like he did to the other woman whom he married before? What should I do? I’m really confused and will appreciate if someone could suggest a way out of this dilemma. Thank you.

     

    The End!

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  •  ‘My husband is rich, handsome and kind. But refuses to sleep with me!’ (3)


    "So you are married! But you don't look it," he stated, his eyes going over the blue T-shirt and skinny jeans I had on.

    I found his comment amusing.
    "So, how do married women look?" I asked him.
     "Well, most look stressed and harassed most of the time, especially the ones with young kids. You look cool and calm," he said in an admiring tone. We chatted for a while before he left.
     
     To me, he was just a customer I had to be polite to for the sake of business, but I did not know I had made quite an impression on him.
     The following week, he called me on the store's landline.
    "What gift are you getting for your sister this time?" I queried after he had introduced himself and remembering what he had come for the last time.
     
     He laughed.
      "No gift this time," he stated. "I just wanted to hear your voice."
      "Is that so?" I noted, adding: "Don't you have anything better to do than be calling to just hear someone's voice?"
     "You are right. I'm on leave so I have a lot of leisure time right now," he explained.
     "Good for you. But not everyone is so lucky. I'm a bit busy at the moment as there are a lot of customers to attend to. So, bye," I stated and tried to hang up.
     
     "Hey, hold on a minute. I'll be in your neighbourhood later in the day. I was wondering if I could take you out for lunch or something," he quickly stated.
     "Well, Mr Max, thanks for the offer but as I said I'm busy. Besides I don't do lunches with strangers. Have a nice day," and I dropped the phone, a bit annoyed. Thinking he was one of those young men who liked to date married women for monetary gains, I dismissed him from my mind. Though, he called several times after that day, I refused to speak with him.
     
      About a month later, I went to the bank to transfer some money to one of my suppliers abroad. It was a large sum of money and I was directed to one of the managers to help with the transaction.
    I opened the door to the manager's office and sitting behind the table was Max!
     "What are you doing here?" I queried, surprised to see him.
     He looked shocked to see me too.
     "I work here," he stated, offering me a seat.
     "I didn't know you worked in this bank. I come here often," I said.
     "I was transferred to this branch after my leave. Besides you never gave me a chance to get to know you," he said a bit accusingly.
    "So, what can I do for you, Madam?" he asked. I told him what I wanted and he quickly attended to me.
     Before leaving, I said:
     "I'm sorry about the abrupt way I treated you the other day. I thought you..."
     "I know. That I was one of these hustlers in town," and he laughed.
     I smiled, glad that he had taken it in good faith.
      He called a few days later and we began to speak regularly on phone. I got to know a bit about him. He had been married but his wife had died in a car accident two years before, leaving behind a little girl of four.
    "My mother and sister help look after her as I'm too busy with work," he stated. I felt sorry for him, that he had to lose his wife so young.
    At this stage, Max and I were just good friends. I grew to like him with time as he was such an amiable and likeable person. I remembered the arrangement I had with my husband though and tried to keep things platonic between us. I was not ready to lose everything just for a fling.
    Things however changed some months later. It was a Saturday morning and I was in the store when Max walked in with a little girl in tow. It was Lola, his daughter.
    "This is Aunty Amanda. Greet her," he said.
    "Good morning, Aunty," she said, looking up at me with her big, innocent eyes.
    "Hi, Lola!" I greeted, bending down to hold her.
    "She's so cute," I said.
    "Yes. She must have taken after her mother," he stated, smiling.
    "You are not bad looking yourself," I said and we both laughed.
    He explained that he wanted to spend some time with Lola as it was his day off.
    "I had told her about you and she insisted on meeting you and inviting you to join us on the outing," he said. I initially wanted to turn him down but seeing the little motherless child touched my heart and I agreed to the date.
    Max drove us to a theme park in town. It had lots of games for children and Lola ran around, playing excitedly on some of them. Later, I watched as Max pushed her on a swing and seeing the closeness and love between father and daughter affected me strongly. Call it the maternal instinct, but at that moment, I felt this strong urge to have a child of my own, a little girl like Lola that I will dress in pretty clothes, plait her hair and do other things that a caring mother did.
    For one of the few times, I felt sad that I did not have a normal marriage with my husband. 'How wonderful it would have been to have a couple of children that we could take to places like this, have fun together as a family,' I thought glumly.
    "So, how's your husband?" Max asked sometime later as we had lunch at a nearby eatery.
    "He's fine. He's out of the country right now on business," I stated.
    "It looks as if he travels a lot. So, how do you cope in his absence?" he said.
    I shrugged.
    "I'm used to it. Besides, I have my own business to run so I'm quite busy as well," I explained, with a forced smile.
    He looked keenly at me for a while but said nothing.
    Days after the outing, I still could not shake off that broody feeling, that strong desire to have my own baby. I knew my arrangement with my husband did not permit that but I kept thinking, what if it happened by accident? Perhaps, we both got drunk, slept together and I got pregnant? Will he ask me to get rid of the baby?
     I thought about this a lot until it evolved into a plan. My intention was to seduce my husband and hopefully conceive!
     So, on the night of his return from his trip, I showered and put on one of my sexy nighties, a short pink one with thin straps.
     My husband was sitting in bed, working on his laptop when I entered his room. He looked up in surprise when he saw me.
     "I thought you were asleep. Is there anything you want?" he asked.
     "Yes. You. I want my husband." I slipped the straps of the gown over my arms and it slithered down on the floor. I stood naked, waiting. But instead of desire, the only reaction I got from him was anger.
     He jumped up then from the bed, his eyes flashing with irritation.
     "Amanda! What do you think you are doing? Get hold of yourself! And go to your room. Now!" he ordered, fuming...
     
    Names have been changed to protect the identity of the narrator and other individuals in the story
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  • ‘My cousin is married to a conman but who will tell her?’


    Ella is my cousin. We actually grew up together. You see, after her father’s death when she was just nine, she had come to live with us. Her mother could not cope raising the five children she had alone, so the family had decided that three of the children should be shared among the relatives of her father including my own father. That was how Ella came to live with us. She was about my age, just a few months older. Being the only girl in our family, Ella became like my sister. We did everything together and became really close.
    We only got separated when I started secondary school as I was in a boarding house. But we made up for it during the holidays when we spent most of our time and did errands together. Over the years, this love and closeness between us remained even as we grew up to become young ladies with big dreams of becoming successful in life. My desire was to read Law 
    like my elder brother Mike but I was unsuccessful in the JAMB examinations at my first attempt. That discouraged me and at my second attempt I chose another course and got admitted to my university of choice which made me very happy. 
    As for Ella, she was more interested in business and as she used to say, ‘make plenty of money’. She was concerned about her mother who had been battling some health issues and wanted to make enough money to be able to take care of her and some of her siblings who were not doing so well.
    After secondary school, my father, who was willing to train her further was disappointed when Ella declined, insisting she had other plans. Anyway, she later went into the business of buying and selling of women and children’s clothes and other products. That was the beginning for Ella. It was not easy for her as she struggled so much to establish her business in the competitive business terrain. But with hard work and focus, she scaled through and today, over ten years later, she can be considered a success in her chosen field. From the small business, she diversified into other areas including manufacturing with a small factory where she produces food packs and plastics.
    Among our age group, my cousin is the richest with a few landed properties and other investments to her name. One area, however that she has not been so lucky is her love life. Ella has always faced disappointments in men, beginning from her first relationship when she was in her mid- twenties. Unlike some of our mates and I who had begun dating much earlier, Ella was a late starter. She had been so focused on her business that she had given guys and relationships a wide berth. 
    That changed when she met Paddy. She fell madly in love with him and was ready to do anything for him. But Paddy did not feel the same way about her as later events proved. A year after they met, the guy left her, claiming his parents were against the relationship as they were from different tribes. He did not just leave her with a broken heart, he made away with a substantial amount of money my cousin had loaned him for a business he claimed he wanted to do. Till today, we have not seen the money nor the idiot.
    Meeting Jack
    Almost all the other relationships she had after that useless Paddy ended up the same way: a wounded heart and a reduced faith in the male gender. Infact, Ella had vowed never to have anything to do with any man for a long time, until she was ready to get married. However, on meeting Jack, her tune changed. Within a short time, she was head over heels in love and to the shock of nearly everyone in the family, was already planning to marry him! 
    Afterall all her past experiences, I found it difficult to believe that she would be so reckless as to get engaged to a man whom she had met just five months before. Seeing that she was about to make another costly mistake, I advised her to slow down on the relationship with her new love.
    “Ella, don’t you think you are moving too fast with this your new man? I think five months is too short to know someone fully,” I told her one day on a visit to her house. We were relaxing in her nicely furnished sitting room, watching a musical programme on the big screen TV.
    At my words, Ella simply smiled then stated:
    “What more is there to know, Emily? He loves me very much and that’s all that matters.”
    But I was not ready to give up. My instincts, from the few times I had interacted with him, were not good. There was just something about him that did not click. I could not place my finger on it but I just felt it.
    “Look, I’m not saying you should stop seeing him. Just take it easy a bit, a little slower so we know whether he is serious or not. Remember what happened with Paddy some years back,” I pointed out.
    “Please don’t remind me of that asshole! Thank God, my Jack is not like him. And if you are afraid he’s after my money, rest your mind. He has his own money which he even spends on me. Since we met, he has not asked me for a single dime. Besides, I’ve learnt my lesson and I can never spend my money on any man especially when we are not married. So, don’t worry. Everything will be fine,” she reassured me, smiling broadly.
    Seeing how determined and confident she was about the relationship, I decided to back off. Love or whatever it was, had blinded her to all sense of reasoning and there was nothing anyone could say to make her see reason. I however prayed things would work out well and not end up like her former affairs.
    Some months after our conversation, Ella and Jack got married in a lavish wedding ceremony. Sh looked so happy and radiant on her wedding day that I renewed my prayers for her, that her union with her husband would last and be filled with happiness. Everything seemed to go well and they both settled down to marital life. 
      A year later, Ella gave birth to a lovely baby girl whom they named Tyra. I was happy for her, that she had found happiness at last and that perhaps I was wrong about Jack afterall. He looked devoted to Ella and doted so much on their little girl. Based on that, my earlier view of her husband changed and I began to see him in a new light. 
    But as later events proved, it turned out my first instincts about Jack were right…

     

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  • ‘My husband is rich, handsome and kind. But refuses to sleep with me!’ (2)

    After my boss had talked for a while about the terms of the proposed marriage between us, I remained silent, too stunned to say anything. 

     

    ‘What kind of bizarre proposal is this?’ I thought, watching him as he continued to eat and drink as if everything was normal.

    But what was normal about a man asking you to marry him yet with so many strange terms attached to it, in a so- called contract? Back in my hotel room later that night, my mind mulled over his words.

    “After our wedding, we’ll live together like a normal couple, except for one thing: there will be no intimacy between us. We can’t have sex. We will stay in separate bedrooms. Also, we can’t have children. We can always adopt if you care so much about having children, but we can’t have kids of our own.” 

     He paused for a while before continuing. “This arrangement will initially last for seven years. If at the end of that period, you choose to end the marriage, you will be paid a substantial amount of money that will set you up for life. If you choose to stay with me for life, then you will be my sole heir. You will inherit all my money, properties and other assets.” Then looking keenly at me, he added: “Another thing, though we can’t sleep together, that doesn’t mean you can keep lovers outside our marriage. If I find out you are having affairs, I will immediately terminate the contract, throw you out and you will be left with nothing.”

     

     My initial reaction was to say; “Hell, no! No way will I marry you on those terms!” But as if reading my mind, he quickly stated:

     “I won’t blame you if you run away now and never want to see me again. But, Amanda, think of the bright side of things. If you accept this proposal, you will benefit immensely. All my wealth and resources will be at your disposal. You will live a life of immense luxury beyond your dreams and never lack for anything. Designer clothes, expensive jewelry, holidays anywhere in the world, just name it. All these and more will be yours. I will also take very good care of your family and they will never lack for anything. Think about it…”

     

     So, that night, I sat for a long time thinking. In all my 28 years on earth, I had heard a lot of strange things but this must be the weirdest of all. What kind of union would that be if the couple involved can’t sleep together, have children and other things that come with marriage? Besides, what kind of man was my boss that he would make such a proposal? Was he in a cult or what? There were tales of some men who join cults or some secret societies who had to abstain from certain things. Was my boss involved in a cult? Was that the source of his wealth at such a relatively young age?

     

     And why me? With all the ladies out there, many of whom threw themselves at him, why did he pick me? He couldn’t be in love with me as he said he did not believe in such things. And how did I feel about him? I liked my boss and if circumstances had been different, he was the kind of man I could love and cherish. But he did not want my love. All he needed was a wife in name only. It was as simple as that. Was I ready to commit myself to such a cold-blooded arrangement? How would I cope in a marriage without love and affection from my husband?

     Without intimacy?

     It took me all of two weeks to reach a decision. It was solely made by me as I did not confide in any one including my mother. I knew she would not approve of such a marriage despite all the perks that came with it.

     But watching her one evening at home as she struggled to get up from her bed, to use the bathroom, I knew I had to do something. The sickness had made my mother become lean and weak. The once vibrant woman who was so hardworking and full of life was gone. In its place was a weak, pitiable figure I could barely recognize. It was obvious she needed very good medical care which I could not provide with my wages alone. My beloved mother who had sacrificed so much for me and my younger brother was fading away before my eyes. I couldn’t just watch her die.

     

     “You’ve made the right decision, Amanda. You will not regret the step you have taken today,” my boss stated when I told him later that week I would marry him. 

     “I will take good care of you and ensure you lack nothing,” he assured me. It was closing time and most of the workers had left. We were alone in his office.

    “If you say so, sir,” I stated quietly.

    “Just call me Bennie. We will soon be husband and wife so don’t you think it sounds silly for you to be calling me, sir?” he said in a teasing tone.

     I smiled and called his name for the first time…

     

     Meeting Max

    After our wedding, Bennie kept to his promise about taking care of me. It was like he could not do enough for me. He showered me with all sorts of expensive gifts and ensured I lacked nothing. He also took care of my mother’s health. When the doctors he consulted advised she should be taken abroad for treatment, Bennie made all the arrangements and had her flown to a foreign hospital. My younger brother, Johnnie went with her so she could have a familiar face around her. 

     I had to resign from my job after we got married as my husband didn’t want me to continue working.

     

      “I don’t like the idea of my wife working in the same office with me,” he stated. 

     I needed something to do to keep busy as I hated staying idle. So I told him about having a boutique where I could sell top quality clothing items for women. He agreed and gave me the money to start off the project. Everything went well and in a few months, I was the proud owner of a classy boutique and store in a choice part of town. It quickly became popular among the chic, sophisticated ladies in town due to the kinds of goods I stocked. Money rolled in and I couldn’t be happier. 

     Though Bennie provided well for me and gave me lots of money even without my asking, I felt a certain satisfaction in having my own income.

     Life was good and at this stage, I had no regrets about marrying Bennie. Okay, there were certain things lacking in our marriage. There was no romance, passion or sex. But I convinced myself that there was more to life than all that. Afterall, I had gained so much from the union so if not having a love life was the sacrifice I had to make for all the material blessings that had come my way, then so be it. I bet you must be thinking at this stage that I was one cold-hearted woman. 

     

     Don’t get me wrong. As a young, healthy lady, I had normal desires and needs but I was also a pragmatist who liked to face the realities of life. Having struggled so much in life, it would have been stupid of me to give everything up for the sake of love and romance. At this stage, I had convinced myself I could live like a nun as long as my mother was well and alive and I had all the comfort I needed.

     

    That was what I told myself and things would have continued this way if fate had not intervened in the form of Max. He had come to the store one afternoon. Some of my shop assistants had gone out to eat as it was their break time. I was standing at the shoe section, taking stock of the items there when a voice spoke behind me.

    “Please, could you tell me the colour of shoe that will match this bag?” He held up a brown leather bag. It was an expensive designer one, the type I usually reserved for my well-heeled customers.

    I studied the bag for a minute then glanced at the stack of shoes on the racks.

    Picking up a high-heeled pair, I gave it to him.

    “I think this will go well with the bag,” I stated.

    He thanked me and left. After he had paid at the cashier, he came over to where I was arranging some clothes on a rack. He thanked me again for helping him make the right choice.

    “It’s a birthday give for my younger sister. And you women can be so fussy over the right colors that match and so on.”

    “I’m sure she will like the gift,” I stated, smiling at him.

    Then he asked:

    “Are you a sales girl here?”

    I looked at him coolly for a while before telling him I owned the place.

    “Is that so? You look rather young to have such a big, classy place like this. Your parents must be rich,” he noted. I laughed at that.

    “Actually, it’s my husband who is rich,” I told him.

    “Husband?” he stated, a look of disappointment in his eyes…

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  • ‘My husband is rich, handsome and kind. But refuses to sleep with me!’ (1)

    (This is the story of Amanda, a lady who marries for money, material things and possessions, only to realise later that money is not everything in life.)

    The first time I saw Max, he had come to do some shopping in my boutique. Back then, I never knew that that chance meeting would have such an effect on my life. With time, we would grow very close, something that should not have happened as I was a married woman and infidelity is something frowned upon by our highly conservative and judgmental society.

     Before you start casting stones at me for cheating on my husband, you need to hear my story first to understand the circumstances that made me stray outside my marriage.

     

     I got married to my husband, Bennie about three years ago. I still remember the ceremony which was held in our local church. It was a grand one, as my husband, who is very rich, spared no expense in ensuring that it was an event that would be the talk of the town for a long time. All my friends had been so envious of me back then.

     “Amanda, aren’t you lucky! I envy you o!” Dorothy, a good friend and one of my bridesmaids had said as I got ready on the morning of my wedding day.

     “Bennie’s such a great catch! I wish I could get someone like him!” said another. They all went on and on about Bennie’s good qualities and what a great husband he will be. 

     

     If only they knew. 

    For as I sat that morning staring at my reflection in the mirror while the make-up artist worked on my face, my mind was churning with different thoughts. Uppermost was the nagging thought, ‘Was I doing the right thing or was I making a big mistake that would haunt me later?’

     

     Even as I stood before the pastor at the altar and exchanged vows with Bennie, that thought kept popping up. But I pushed it aside and put on a brave face, smiling and trying to look like a typical happy and radiant bride on her big day.

     You might be wondering why I still went ahead to marry Bennie with all my misgivings. Well, there’s a plausible reason behind my decision. 

     

     You see, I met Bennie at a very low point in my life. It was at a time when nothing was working and it was as if the whole world was about to collapse on my shoulders. I had finished school but had been unable to get a job after several years of job-hunting. Worse still, my mother who had been my sole support after my father abandoned us years ago, had fallen ill with a sickness that defied solution. There was also a younger brother who was still in secondary school. They both looked up to me for support but how could I play my role in the family without a job?

     

     At that point, I was ready to do any job as long as it paid some money. So, when I heard a manufacturing company at the Isolo area of Lagos was looking for some factory workers, I went to apply. But to my shock, I was rejected for the job because of my qualification.

     “You have a university degree so you are overqualified for the job. It’s school certificate holders we are looking for,” the supervisor in charge of the recruitment told me brusquely. I pleaded with him, telling him I was ready to do the job even with my degree but he refused and ordered me to leave. 

     I was walking dejectedly towards the front gate of the company when someone called out to me.

     “Excuse me, young lady,” the voice said. I turned round. It was a man in his thirties, I had never seen before.

    “Sorry to butt in this way but I heard you talking with the supervisor concerning a job back in the office. What exactly are you looking for?” he asked. I studied him for a moment. He was dressed in a dark suit and blue tie and he looked quite respectable like a top executive. 

     “And why do you want to know?” I countered, wondering if he was an official in the company.  

     “I can see you need a job badly. Maybe I can help you,” he stated. He brought out a complimentary card and gave it to me. 

     “I run my own company. There’s an opening there now. So, why don’t you come and see me and we can talk,” he stated.

     I gazed at him warily, not sure if he was serious or not, then looked at the card again.

     “Mr Bernard or whatever your name is. As you can see, I’m in no mood right now for silly games. So, if you will excuse me, I will be on my way,” and I turned and made for the gate once more.

     “What makes you think I’m not serious about this?” he said behind me.

     

    I turned round again.

     “Because I’m a total stranger to you and people don’t just offer jobs to strangers they don’t know. At least, not in this country,” I said.

     “We’ve been talking for some minutes now so you can’t say we are still strangers,” he noted, smiling a little. He had this sincere look in his eyes that made me relax a little.

     “Look, I understand why you are being wary. You can’t trust people these days. But try and come to my office and I will see what I can do for you,” he said.

     Based on that invitation, I went to his office the following week and he gave me a job right there. It was like a miracle. I was so happy, I felt as if I was walking on air as I went home that day to break the good news to my mother.

     

     I resumed work not long after and I couldn’t be happier. My boss, Mr Bernard was a hard-working man who drove his workers hard so they could achieve maximum results for the company. He also treated us well and was not mean to the staff.

     

    The proposal

     I noticed he travelled a lot, mostly business trips. On one of such visits to Abuja, he invited me to accompany him.

     “You will need to check the sales records at our office there. So, get ready,” he ordered.

     

    We were in the city for about a week and we worked most of the time. After that trip, we travelled together to some other cities and even outside the country. It was on our return from one of such trips to Nairobi, Kenya when the office gossips started to circulate the story about my affair with my boss. I laughed when I heard it as it was all lies. Though we had travelled to different places and stayed in the same hotels, he had never shown any romantic interest in me. He was friendly and treated me well but he always acted like a boss to a subordinate to me.

     

      I knew he was still single and I often wondered why a successful man like him, with money and such good looks was still unattached.

     Some time later, on another of our trips, I told him about the gossip in the office concerning us. It was evening and we were having dinner in the restaurant of the hotel.

     He laughed at my story.

      “People love to talk. So don’t let it bother you,” he stated.

     I smiled at him.

     “Of course it doesn’t bug me since I know it’s not true,” I rejoined. 

     He was silent for a while then he looked at me with a serious look on his face.

     “Perhaps we can make it real, give those gossips something to really talk about,” he stated.

     I looked at him warily.

     

      “What are you talking about?” I asked.

     Then reaching across the table, he took my hand and said:

     “Marry me, Amanda. Be my wife so I can take care of you.”

     His proposal was so unexpected that I sat for a while, just staring dazedly at him.

     “You’ve not been drinking sir, so you can’t be drunk…” I started to say when he interrupted me.

    “I know this must be a surprise to you. But I’ve thought about it and I believe it’s the sensible thing to do. I need a wife, you need a man to look after you. We both get what we want and it’s that not what matters?” he noted.

     When I pointed out to him that there was more to marriage than that, he said:

     “I see where you are going. All that Hollywood stuff like love, romance, desire, passion. I don’t believe in all that. Maybe because I’m a realist who doesn’t believe in fairytales…”

     As if his proposal was not strange enough, there was more to come. Something to do with a contract which stipulated clearly the terms of the ‘union’…

    For Archive, Visit Patience Saduwa

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  • The Returnee (2)

    The Returnee (2)

  • Dealing with issues of ex in your marriage

    Hello Harriet, I read your article on Saturday 17th October 2015, titled “How to avoid thinking about your ex” and really I was satisfied with your illustrations because it’s as if you know what is happening to my life at the moment.  Kudos to you for that, I will like you to help me shed more light on this because I am really having this biased thought against my wife due to some incessant calls from male friends of hers (adults in 50s,60s). She is always on her phone pinging with her friends after work, please don’t get me wrong I really don’t have anything against her pinging with her friends but when it becomes a habit is the aspect that bothers me. I have questioned her twice on this her pinging issue but she swore to me that she is not cheating on me. sincerely these calls from men that I don’t know is becoming very annoying and as they say one has to know how to manage his home, personally I am doing everything to keep my marriage but when there is a little distrust it gives me ache. I love my wife she is very dear and special to me, I believe she loves me too but this feeling of insecurity is my biggest challenge. For instance there was a time my wife’s friend who she never mentioned to me came into the country from Canada, my wife went to see him, this I discovered when I was checking her phone conversation. she lied to me that she was going to church to see our pastor, unknown to her I had called our pastor for something else when he innocently told me that my wife came to church but left earlier, this was about 2hours.on this occasion I waited patiently for her to come back that evening and quarrel ensued between us to the extent that I left the house to spend the night in a friend’s place because I was very angry and I did not want to do something that I will regret later. When I came back the next day, she said not telling the truth about her outing was just the only way she felt I will allow her out, and her reason for the visit was to collect some Canadian travelling document from a friend that will help her appointment to the Canadian embassy, On that day again she swore that for the two years we have been married she has never cheated on me and not now. The long story short is that I later helped my wife through all the visa processes not to talk of the trips bearing in mind that we don’t live in Lagos only to later discover that the friend in question was my wife’s really ex boy friend and they are very much in touch with each other seriously. Presently we are still waiting in the Lord for the fruit of the womb and she is always crying while I normally console her but how can I have peace of mind with all this going on? Please I really need your advice on this issue; I am constantly thinking too much trying to find solution. Help me!

    Name with held.

     

    We must commend you for sharing your situation. It takes a lot of courage to be open in dealing with issue like this which is what you have done by sending us a mail and giving us the permission to publish it, well done. In most cases people take action without seeking solution to make it work forgetting the fact that dealing with marital issues is totally different from dating. Husband and wives are advice to learn to resolve whatever problems they have amicably, exploiting every option to make it work before taking any decision. Seeking counseling in order to understand how to deal with the situation at hand is a very good step that you have taken , because from the look of things, a lot are at stake here and must be tackled properly bearing in mind that your marriage is still very young. Every marriage at the early stage has its ups and down so the survival of the union depends on the way couples approach their issues.  Here are a few guides that might be of help in a case like this; effective communication is important in a situation like this, therefore it will be nice for you to have a discussion with your wife about the whole situation starting from her constant pinging with her male friends that you hardly know, to the lies, and her keeping in touch with her ex boy friend.  Try to find out from her why she is constantly on chat with her male friends, her relationship with her ex boy friend and the lies. Lying can be a huge problem in a marriage, it can make a spouse feel betrayed, which later might lead to the feeling of insecurity which is what you are experiencing at the moment. Moving forward is to review the type of lie; like does she lie constantly or is this incident a one off?   next is to listen to her explanations and watch her reaction, then  tell her about your concerns and share that you are deeply hurt by the lie, encourage her to discuss the reason for taking such step to betray the trust you have for her,  tell her how it might affect your relationship with her. Yes, she needs to know the implication of her actions but do not jump into conclusion until you are sure with facts, rather try to work on a plan together that encourages spouses to be honest.  Who knows she might just be the type that have more male as friends without necessarily having an affair with them than female friends. one thing youDealing with issues of ex in your marriageruggling to deal with the situation because this can be harmful to your relationship if not tackle properly. Booking an appointment with a marriage counselor is not a bad idea, as a professional he or she will take you and your spouse through the necessary steps to find out the root of the problems and then offer solutions for peace and trust to be restore in your relationship which is a major factor that must be present in your marriage as you and your spouse wait patiently for God’s appointed time to bless your union with the fruit of the womb.  Above all pray about it together and I hope you find this useful, take care of yourself and each other.

     

    • Harriet is a counsellor and a motivational speaker. Send your questions and suggestions to her on bineharriet@gmail.com or txt message only on 08023058805.
  • The Returnee (1)

    The Returnee (1)

    I read Laura’s story which was featured in this column last week and I could not help but sympathise with her. I understand what she is going through because I’ve experienced the same thing- ‘a rejected stone becoming the head of the corner’ kind of situation. The only difference is that mine has to do with a child: a baby I had for a man who said he loved me but left me in the lurch when I needed him most. Only for him to reappear years later to sing a different tune.

    My name is Erica and this is my story.

    ***
    It was one of those days when the traffic was so heavy in the city of Lagos, it was more of a ‘stand still’ than a ‘go slow’ as it’s popularly called. I glanced at my wristwatch, noticing how late it was getting. I had just thirty minutes to get to my daughter, Tessy’s summer school at Ikeja to pick her up. She hated me coming late for her like had happened the previous week when I had arrived nearly an hour late. Most of the other kids were gone and she had stood by the school gate, craning her neck and waiting anxiously for me.

    I had promised not to be late in picking her again but it seemed I would not be able to fulfil that promise going by the traffic situation that afternoon. I saw a little opening at the next lane and I quickly maneuvered there, ignoring the angry look of the driver on the line. Gradually, the traffic began to inch forward and I relaxed a little. Luckily, I was about twenty minutes late and my daughter was still inside the building when I arrived.  “Mummy, you are late again o!” were the first words she accosted me with as soon as she saw me. I hugged her and patting her on the head stated:

    “Sorry, sweetheart, I was caught up in traffic. You know how bad the traffic is by this time of the day. Where’s your bag. Let’s go!”

    On the way home, we stopped by an eatery as Tessy wanted some ice cream. I sat sipping a soft drink and watched as she stuffed the ice cream in her mouth, at the same time, talking excitedly about her day at the summer school. “My Aunty said that next year, the school will be organising a trip to Disneyland in the U.S. Mummy, I’ll like to go too. Can I?” she asked.

    “Of course dear. Don’t worry, Mummy will work out something,” I assured her, taking a napkin to wipe her lips covered with ice cream. Money was a bit tight at the moment, what with the sluggish economy and clients who were owing me for work done. Despite that, I vowed silently to raise the money so she could go for the trip when the time comes. I loved my daughter so much and I was ready to make any sacrifice to ensure she was happy and comfortable.

    Since I had Tessy eight years ago, I’ve practically raised her by myself as a single mother. The man I had her for, Kolly has never set eyes on my daughter. He has never shown interest in her wellbeing, whether she was doing well or sick was none of his business. That was however, until three months ago when he suddenly resurfaced in our lives…

    Camp meeting I first met Kolly at a church programme- an annual event that usually draw millions of the faithful to the church’s expansive camp on the outskirts of the city each year. That year, I planned attending with my good friend Grace. But at the last minute, something came up and she could not make it so I had to attend alone. One afternoon, two days after I arrived at the camp, I went to one of the numerous eateries there for lunch before preparing for the evening programme. I was eating when a man came over to my table.

    “Mind if I join you?” he asked before sitting down. As we ate, he made small talk, stating that it was his first time at the programme. “I never knew it was this huge- I’ve never seen so many people in my life,” he said. 

    It was my second year at the camp and I can still remember my shock at the number of people who had trooped into the camp for the annual event, drawn from all over the country and beyond.

    “You’ve not seen anything yet. More people are still coming. Wait till Friday when some will come for the weekend programme, then you will see real crowd,” I assured him. I remained at the camp for another three days, leaving on Saturday morning to attend a neighbour’s wedding. Kolly and I saw regularly for that period and before leaving, we exchanged contacts. He seemed a nice person so when he called about a week later and asked to meet up, I agreed. He shared an apartment with a friend of his named Sam. When I arrived at his place, his flatmate was out and he was alone in the house. Kolly could cook well and he had prepared a delicious meal of jollof rice and chicken for my visit. We were eating when his friend Sam arrived home and Kolly did the introductions.

    “Nice meeting you. He has been talking about you, saying you made his stay at the camp less stressful,” Sam stated as he shook my hand. I had a nice time at his place that day. We saw regularly after that initial visit. Kolly told me from the beginning that he did not have a girlfriend much less a fiancé. I believed he was speaking the truth as I had not seen any lady in the house since I started visiting. Soon, a relationship ensued and we became a couple. 
    Thinking I was dealing with a sincere person, I relaxed and threw myself into the love affair…

    Join us for the rest of Erica’s story next Saturday

    Names have been changed to protect Erica’s identity and other individuals in the story.

    For Archive, Visit Patience Saduwa

  • ‘I caught my husband in bed with his mistress’ (2)

    Follow @Escapades007

    • Now my home is in disarray!

    That weekend, Kel took me to a fun spot on Victoria Island. It was an open air restaurant in a secluded area by the lagoon front, popular for its spicy, barbecued chicken and other delicacies. After placing our order, we sat taking in the cool breeze from the lagoon and admiring the view.

    “Nice place,” I said as I watched some speed boats racing on the choppy waters of the lagoon.
    “Yes. My friends and I hang out here once in a while. Since you like it, we will be coming here more often,” Kel stated.

    Soon, the food arrived and we concentrated on eating and chatting. 
    “The chicken is so delicious! Soft and succulent too,” I enthused as I bit into a chicken wing.
    “I was told its a secret recipe only known to the owner of this place,” disclosed Kel.

    “He had better guard it well or he will lose a lot of business if someone else gets to know the recipe,” I remarked.
    Just then an acquaintance of Kel came over to say hello. Soon after he left, we finished the meal and were preparing to leave when a lady came over with a small gift bag. She handed it to me stating:
    “Someone said I should give this to you.”
    I looked at her and the parcel.
    “What is it? Who gave it to you?” I queried. I did not know anyone there and wondered who could be sending gifts to me.
    “Why don’t you open it and let’s see what’s inside,” Kel said encouragingly.
     Inside the bag was a small wrapped gift which I brought out and opened. A diamond- encrusted sparkling ring nestled inside the small jewel case; besides it was a small note with the words: ‘Baby, will you marry me?”
    I looked up quickly at Kel who was smiling broadly at me.
    “Kel!” I said excitedly, jumping up. He rose, took my hand and repeated the words in the note.
    I nodded my head, saying: “Yes, darling! I’ll marry you!” he hugged and kissed me briefly then, unmindful of the other customers around who were looking at us in an amused manner…

    ***
    “Wow, lovely ring! Jessy, you are so lucky. Congrats o!” said Trina as she admired the ring on my return home that night.
    “Thanks, my sister. I just can’t believe I’m engaged to be married. Kel really surprised me,” I said happily.
    “It’s not a surprise to me. That man really loves you. As I said, you are a lucky lady. I wish I could get someone like Kel,” stated Trina. She had been engaged about a year before but things had not worked out between her and her fiancé.
    “Don’t worry; God will bring your man, specially made for you,” I reassured her.
    “Amen o! Better guy o! Not all these ‘chop and clean mouth’ types that are all over the place now who are just looking for who to use and dump!” she said.
    As I gazed at the ring in admiration, I knew Trina was right: I was lucky to have a man like Kel who cared about me and cherished me so much.
    “I love you, Jessica. I promise to always be there for you, to be your shield and to protect you. As long as we are together, I will make sure you never lack. I’ll take care of you and love you forever,” Kel had stated earlier that evening after his surprising proposal.
    I believed and trusted him and gave all my heart and soul to him. But who can tell what lurks deep in a man’s mind? Or fathom what he will be like tomorrow? Only time can unravel that mystery and time did just that to me.

      ***
    Our engagement was a short one. Within five months of Kel’s proposal, we got married in a very classy ceremony at my family church. My father had remarried three years before; though my step mum and I did not get along that well, she stood in and played the role of my late mother during the marriage proceedings.
    It was a very happy period for Kel and I. In the early days of our marriage, he lived up to his promises and was very caring and loving. About six months after the wedding, I found out I was pregnant. Kel was over the moon when I broke the news to him.
    “So, I’m going to be a father again,” he said with a wide grin when he arrived home from work that evening.
    “Yes, dear. I got the result of the test this afternoon at the hospital. I have an appointment with the doctor next week,” I told him.
    “Ok. I will go with you. You know I will do anything for you, dear,” he said hugging me tightly.
      I nodded, at that instant feeling very happy and contented. My joy however was not to last. The pregnancy was about five months old when I woke up one morning in a pool of blood. Kel, who left home very early for work, had already gone out and I was alone in the house. With the assistance of a neighbour, I was able to get to the hospital where I was admitted.
    I felt terrible losing my baby. I had so looked forward to the birth and becoming a mother. I wept bitterly, wondering why such a thing could happen to me. I had been attending antenatal classes regularly and there had been no sign of a problem. So, why this, I wondered. Or was it something I had done?
    “These things happen. Anything can go wrong with a pregnancy even with the best care,” the doctor had stated when he came to check up on me.
    To be fair to him, Kel, my husband was very supportive at this trying time. He was at the hospital regularly throughout the period of my admission and even when I had returned home. I took some time off from work to recuperate and Trina often came to spend time with me.
    “You look so pale. Are you eating well at all?” she asked one day when she had come visiting.
    “You better talk to her. I’ve been telling her to eat all day but she says she doesn’t have any appetite,” said Kel.
    “You need to eat to recover. What has happened can’t be undone. Life has to go on. You are still young and will have more babies in the future,” Trina stated. She then went to the kitchen and prepared some noodles for me which she forced me to eat.
    With their care and support, I was able to recover and was back at work a few weeks later. My husband and I put the incident behind us and got on with our lives. Then, five months later, I got pregnant again. Though, I was happy at the good news, it also marked a turning point in our lives that brought unexpected occurrences I never envisaged…

    The End.

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  • ‘I’m a high class prostitute, but my parents think I work in a bank!’

    Follow @Escapades007

    (This series is about a young lady named Vanessa who lives a double life in the big city- by day, she passes for a respectable, professional lady while at night, she turns into a high class hooker who works the streets for money). Enjoy!

    ***

    “Vanny baby! You are looking sweet! Where are you off to so early in the morning?” Sasha, my friend and flatmate inquired. She had just come in from an appointment with a ‘client’ and looked tired, like someone that had not had a sound sleep for days. Considering the person she had gone to meet, I was not surprised.

    “Babe, as you see me so, na Abuja I dey face so o!” I replied in pidgin English, fastening the clasp on my small, portable travelling bag. 

    “Abuja? Ha! Wetin dey? Babe, yarn me na!” she cajoled. She flopped on the sofa, kicked off her shoes and stretched out comfortably.

     “No time for that now. I have a 9 o’clock flight to catch and I’m running late. I’ll call you once I get to Abuja.” 

     Picking up my bag, I headed for the door. Sasha came out to see me off as I entered the cab I had chartered.

     “Call me when you arrive o!” Sasha said through the cab window. I waved and we set off for the airport.

     I glanced at the gold watch on my wrist that had been a gift from one of my clients. It was past seven. I had enough time to catch my flight. My phone rang then and I searched inside my handbag for it.

     It was Bibi, my very close friend, professional colleague and confidant.

     “Vanessa, where are you?” were her first words to me. That was vintage Bibi, no time for preambles.

     “Haba, Bibi! Your Mama no teach you how to greet your elders for morning?” I said teasingly. Though Bibi and I were born the same year, I was some months older than her and I never let her forget it.

     “Elders ko, greetings ni!” she rejoined. She told me the time for the ‘job’ that was taking me to the capital city had been rescheduled.

     “Moneybags just called to say he won’t be able to see us till late today. Something to do with an important meeting tonight,” she said. 

     I was to head to the hotel she was lodging as soon as I arrived the city, she stated, adding that Sheila was with her. 

     Sheila was the other girl in our small group with a mandate to succeed by what ‘nature had blessed us with’, in other words, our looks. More of the group later…

        Easy money

      The journey to Abuja was smooth. It was raining when we touched down and I took a cab to meet Bibi and Sheila who were already comfortably settled in their rooms in the posh hotel ‘Moneybags’ had booked us into.

     Before I tell you what went down with ‘Moneybags’ that night, let me give a brief intro into my life and those of my girlfriends.

     My name as you have already deduced is Vanessa and I’m a young lady in my 20s. I’m a graduate with a good degree from one of the Universities in the country. Bibi and I were school mates; we met in our second year and became friends. It was Bibi who introduced me into this ‘business’. Before I started moving with her, I was a typical young, innocent girl, who did not know much about life and whose dream was to be a broadcaster when I graduated. 

     But Bibi put all those ideas out of my head.

     “Look at you. You are young, pretty with the whole world before you. Why waste all that, and give yourself so much stress working for peanuts after leaving school when you can make more money through ‘hustling’. Besides, there are no jobs these days. So many graduates are out there searching endlessly for non-existent jobs. My dear, there are better ways of making it in this country. Stay with me and I will teach you the ropes!” she had said.

     Maybe it was curiosity or just youthful exuberance for I started hanging out with Bibi and her group. I noticed one thing immediately about them- they always had money and were never broke unlike so many other students in school who operated a 0-1-0 eating formular just to survive.

     I found out the secret some time later when I became part of the group. Bibi and her friends dated only men who were very rich, mostly millionaires and the powerful men around. They did not have time for any one without money and steered clear of their fellow male students as if they had an infectious disease.

     “Who has time for those losers,” Bibi would say with a hiss whenever a male student expressed interest in her.

      With time, I joined their group and began making money. My lifestyle changed and so many other things as well. My parents who were normal, hardworking people never suspected what I was doing at school. My father worked as a top executive in a company for many years before he retired some years ago. He provided well for the family, paid my school fees and those of my other siblings on time and was generally a good father.

     Coming from such a middle-class background, why would I be doing ‘runs’ and hustling on campus, you might wonder. Greed, insatiable desire for the good things of life, peer pressure, love of fun? Any of those things could have been responsible for what I became.

     Anyway, after graduating, we took our game to a much higher level. With the help of Madam Clara, a woman who is into arranging young girls for top politicians, businessmen and the like in town, we began to move in really top circles. While our mates were going around searching for jobs, Bibi, the other girls and I were living the good life. I made so much money in such a short time that I was able to build my first house within two years after leaving school which I rent out. I have a fleet of exotic cars and wear only designer clothes and accessories.

     I kept the house a secret from my parents and other family members. I knew my parents would have heart attacks if they ever guessed the kind of ‘work’ I was doing. So, I have been very careful in hiding things from them. I’m almost completing my second building and that too is a secret. 

     I live a double life. By day I’m this angelic looking, respectable lady and by night I hustle for a living.

     I’m alone in the city as my parents have relocated to our home town. I’ve told them I’m working in the Nigerian branch of a multinational, financial institution and I’m well paid. As for the well furnished duplex in a classy part of town where I live, I tell them it’s my official accommodation which comes with the job.

     The real ‘job’ which I’m doing though is completely different from the fake one my family believe occupies my time.

     It’s the job that has brought me to Abuja, the Federal Capital Territory on this rainy day to meet with a man we have nicknamed ‘Moneybags’ because of his stupendous wealth. The job, which was organised by Bibi is worth a couple of millions. Not bad for a few hours work!

     We get paid handsomely and also get a chance to make some top connections. What’s not to like?

    Names have been changed to protect Vanessa’s identity and other individuals in the story.

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