Category: Yomi Odunuga

Arguing against a man with two eyes and who has resolved to express criticism without being perceptive is an exercise in futility. These days, an egregious band of critics daily seek an answer to a seemingly innocuous question: what exactly has President Muhammadu Buhari done differently to warrant the wave of logic-defying cult-following that has greeted his presidency. My sincere answer is: nothing. In fact, for the first time in the history of this great country, the present generation of Nigerians should thank their stars that they have a 72-year-old do-nothing retired military officer as a leader. Buhari’s sit-on-the-hand governance tactic is so damn ineffective so much that quite a number of influential leeches of our warped system are scampering for safety in strange lands even when no one is pursuing them. This old man’s crying ineptitude sends shivers down the spines of those who once exhibited their passionate love for our well-being by holding tightly to our testicles and blindly raping the national till.

For a man who has barely spent a little over 100 days in office with less than 5 per cent of projected key appointments to boot, it is not surprising that those bent on hanging him in the sun to dry fault the grinding slowness of his change mantra. Left for the remnants of the usually noisy hawks at the headquarters of the Peoples Democratic Party, Buhari should be hung on the crucifix ad-infinitum. They argue that he has been busy wasting time on getting to the root of the licentious larceny that ordinarily should be consigned to the dustbin of history instead of jetting off with the speed of light in effecting change. They said his fixation to the past might ruin whatever vision he projects for the future. For them, it would be more statesmanlike for the President to allow the past to live in the shadows of the present. That’s their understanding of a new beginning which, unfortunately, runs against the governance strategy of the Buhari era.

Do not get me wrong. The government stands to reap some positives from even the most bile-filled criticism of the present administration. Like someone noted, it would be better for the Buhari government to remain open to the kind of criticisms that call it to order than a praise singing that would ultimately spell its doom. That is why it should not treat with kid gloves the angst over the obvious ethnic slant in recent appointments of the President’s kitchen cabinet. Here, I align with those who argue that it is an insult of no mean feat for a President that enjoyed widespread support across the nation to keep on appointing his ‘trusted’ aides from a particular section of the country. It is even more disheartening that the same President has given an assurance that some sort of balancing would be made in subsequent appointments. In plain language, that’s some bunkum balderdash. With over 40 appointments already announced, someone within the inner caucus of the Buhari team should be bold enough to tell him to put an end to his irritating bumbling error. He should be reminded that competent hands abound in every geo-political zone of the country if only he had taken time to look beyond his white Babariga. The shape and form of his appointments to date simply stands logic on its head and that is sad. Nothing could be more imprudent than listening to otherwise smart persons playing to the gallery all in the name of political correctness. Buhari needs to be told to take a careful look at himself in the mirror and decide whether he feels cool warped string of appointments!

Having said this, there is an urgent need to separate informed criticism from the herd mentality whereby some persons spew illogic to paint Buhari as operating the same system of lethargic spinelessness that became the befitting epitaph for his predecessor. How could anyone with the slightest pretence to loving this country have suggested that the current administration should ignore barefaced looting reportedly perpetrated under the nose of former President Goodluck Jonathan? If indeed it was a needless distraction, then this is one distraction should be on the radar that truly desires to set a new template of accountability and sustainable governance for a serially abused nation.

To my mind, if the PDP could go on a chest-thumping marathon regarding the unbelievable number of billionaires it empowered at the expense of the rest of us during its 16 years’ stay in power, it could as well boast of the ‘unequalled vigour’ with which it fought corruption and hence, it should be properly placed to defend all manner of corruption charges the Buhari government may bring against it or the party members. That is why I find it curious that some ex-ministers in the immediate past regime have constituted themselves into some sort of union, subtly threatening Buhari to stop what they termed a media trial of loyalists of Jonathan. Rather than tell us how Buhari or the agencies charged with the responsibilities of unravelling corrupt practices have trampled on their rights, they resort to the emotive rant of being proud to have served under a regime that is viciously being portrayed as “corrupt and irresponsible.” They even accused a do-nothing Buhari of claiming credits for the improvements noticed in some sectors of the economy whereas they were latter day “products of solid foundations laid by the same Jonathan administration.”

Indeed, we are living in interesting times. Sometimes, you cannot help wondering why people cannot see the folly in peddling mischief. So, they are yet to witness the difference between the General Buhari of those days of War Against Indiscipline (WAI) and the one they feared would pack all of them into prisons as soon as he takes his oath as a democratically-elected President of Nigeria? In the past, would Buhari have tolerated the rigour of our laws in which suspected looters are being invited by the relevant authorities to defend allegations of graft? Has Buhari ordered the arrest, detention or even torture of anyone linked with the brazen looting of our commonwealth other than reiterating his determination to ensure that culprits face the full wrath of the law? Are these persons saying that the APC-led government should close its eyes to the mind-boggling revelations of a $2.2 billion-arms scandal; the detection of a $6.9 million mobile stages fraud allegedly perpetrated by the Chief Security Officer (CSO) to former President Jonathan; or even a N2.5 billion-scam involving the renting of house boats?

Are they asking Buhari to ignore documents linking the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation with the withholding of N3.8 trillion out of the N8.1 trillion earned from crude oil between 2012-2015 or that nothing should be done to find why $2.1 billion from Excess Crude Account (ECA) grew wings without any trace? Is it really wrong for the government in power to seek explanations into why the Department of Petroleum Resources fail to remitN109.7 billion royalty from oil firms into the Federation Account or even seek an insight into the loss of $13.9 billion proceeds of 160 million barrels of oil between 2009 and 2012? Has Buhari trampled on anyone’s right by asking affected individuals to come forward to defend allegations of ministerial looting to the tune of $6 billion in the Jonathan administration? Was anyone with a jot of brain expecting a post-military era Buhari to close the files on the $15 million botched arms deals with the South African government; the $13 billion Nigerian Liquefied Natural Gas (NLNG) dividends mostly unaccounted for; the N30 billion suspicious waivers granted to rice importers and the N183 billion unaccounted for at the Niger Delta Development Commission (NDDC)?

Well, that would be taking the joke on a do-nothing President Buhari too far. Democracy allows for free speech and the strict adherence to the rule of law. So far, Buhari has operated within those binding principles and that is why some persons are enjoying the rare liberty of throwing the most despicable muck at him. At least, we now know that the days of the military jackboots are gone. What has replaced that is a man bent on prosecuting a war against corruption and corrupt practices employing the instrumentality of the laws of the land. As long as his critics relish the idiocy of trying to make a despot out of him, they should have no problem with answering for their misdeeds in a court of competent jurisdiction when the time comes. In any case, why should anyone with untainted record in public service fret over threats that lack substance?

For some inexplicable reasons, I confess to being a social media rat – Facebook is my first point of call every blessed day. Of course, I have had varied experience on that platform and some of them have pushed my capacity to endure pure baloney to the limit. Somehow, I have, over the years, mastered the art of keeping calm even in moments when the mental balance or visual acuity of certain persons you meet on the limitless spheres of social media appears suspect. Since the social media, with wide ranging platforms, is a veritable ground for all manners of broken ‘news’, you risk becoming a scatterbrain when you begin to consider needless corrective response to everyone that throw jibes at you. Sometimes, some people just bump into your thread to either display their ignorance or exhibit plain stupidity with an irritating arrogance that beggars belief.

But that is not all there is to the conversations and interface I have been opportune to have with friends and foes on my wall. There are moments when you are immersed in the cadence of poetry and the quality of the discourse. Take, for example, recent postings by a colleague and Editor of the Abuja Enquirer, Emmanuel Ogbeche or even Femi Adeosun, a senior reporter with National Mirror. Well, Adeosun is a topic for another day. As for Ogbeche, you may not like his poetry-soaked political punches but I doubt if you will not fall in love with the way he couched the written words–the rhythmic flow of his sniggering words. In the last general elections, Ogbeche, just like many other colleagues, spoke plainly about where he was pitching his tent. His heart was for former President Goodluck Jonathan. His goal, he said, was to see a better Nigeria, should Jonathan be re-elected. Naturally, Ogbeche exploited that platform to ’sell’ his preferred candidate. It must however be noted that, while quite a number of the irritants from both sides of the divide threw caution to the wind in a sickening madness to either demystify the then All Progressives Congress’ candidate, President Muhammadu Buhari, or to demonise Jonathan, Ogbeche’s interventions, though sometimes harsh, were ennobling.

In these days where Buhari has become the toothpick with which some persons now use to eat their ‘suya’, it is fascinating that Ogbeche still finds the decency to engage in his political activism with some measure of poetic flourish. Take, for example, his latest interventions on developments in the polity regarding the ability of Buhari to walk his talk. Unlike those ones who have warehoused their ignorance for display on the social media for everyone to see, Ogbeche paints a poignant picture of the dilemma that faces a nation struggling with the contradictions that come with change. He employs pungent imageries to tug at the conscience of a government that promises a radical change from the norm but which appears to be dangerously too slow in getting off. He takes a swipe at our loud silence as bombs keep killing innocent souls in the North-East. Or was the carnage not being wrought by the same Boko Haram sect that Buhari vowed to crush with immediate alacrity?

Hear him: The crowing crows are now silent,

The jabbering monkeys no longer jabber

As well as the chattering parrots

Make Una kontinu

And then this:  He was made a fetish

Cloaked in infallibility

A one-cure for his nation’s ills

At dawn they found his cassock

All holed and stained

Then they cried for mercy

By all shades and forms, this is not just an ordinary rant or any of those hate-filled messages by persons who simply cannot live with the reality that the baton of leadership has changed and Buhari is now in charge. Ogbeche does not bleat. He speaks truth to power with words dripping in tears. It is the deep calling to the deep. For me, it is a call to action and a caution to Buhari not to sleep on his hands the way Jonathan did. It simply asks: Now that you have got power, what exactly are you doing different from the one we derisively call the clueless and shoeless one? Oh, have we forgotten so soon how we harangued Jonathan for each of his countless missteps in office? In all fairness, did we not jab and clutter Jonathan’s brains with hot punches as bombs rained a harvest of sorrows on a section of the polity? Did we not yell at him to either shape up or ship out if all he could offer was a wreath of narcissistic platitude and righteous rage? So, why the sudden, almost conspiratorial silence while the murderous sect piles up over 400 body bags within two months after the one “cloaked in infallibility” stepped in?

Surely, we do not need to wait for things to get worse before we start asking the right questions. All the sentiments should go with that better-forgotten election which turned brothers against brothers, tribes against tribes and tested our resolve as a nation. While it is not completely right to say that Buhari is a one-cure solution to the nation’s intractable problems, we do not deny the fact that many expect him to move mountains. Question is: are we truly seeing the prospects of a better deal under his watch? Some would say it is too early to reach a conclusion. But, with the little we have seen, there is no doubt that a new Sheriff is in the town and he is gradually making impact. Is his cassock all holed and stained? Are the people already biting their tongues in regrets? I really cannot tell.

One thing is sure though. This bard, Ogbeche, bleeds words that should prick the conscience of those that rode into the highest office in the land, with the change baton under the armpit. Probably the crowing crows, the jabbering jabbers and the chattering parrots are still in some sort of shock having placed so much trust in Buhari’s capacity to perform magic. I am definitely not delusional enough not to know that the journey before us is, by no means, an easy one. This much point was made in my response to Ogbeche’s post in which I pleaded for patience, saying: We whined in pain for 16 harrowing years/Do we then live in delusion/That one magical spin would heal the deep cut/Would we have waited for another 44 years of damaged hue/Before craving for change?/Some say it is a choice between the devil and the deep blue sea/We have made our choice and we’d live with it/Clinging to the hope that brought us here.

Ogbeche’s response was no less incisive: He is the Imam who keeps his word/He saw the pain/He heard the cries/He felt their agony/Together they held counsel/In the Orchard of Arrived to Please Comfort/Alas, it was a web spurn to deceive/Now the song is All Patience Continue/His words broken at the altar of his ascension.

Me again: If we rushed into a frenzy of failure in less than two months/Would we have loved the hand clasped in frustration as the clueless raped the land?/Do we say that was a better option to a man who is carefully untangling the web of deceit/And peripheral achievements of the last 16 years/Are we that sold to his freebies that we no longer know the essence of no gain no pain/Must we desecrate the commonwealth to the point of weeping blood/Before we pull ourselves from the brink/Why do we ululate because the canvas of blood that our streets have become is now a routine/What would the one that sat without doing nothing have done differently?

Then, Ogbeche’s encore: I hear the bard renowned for knuckles/Now he deals to knuckle down bards/Across the fence/A new season is for hope/Not wailing of deeds gone by/

Not new frontiers in crimson red/My ears are full, my eyes are weepy/As young maidens mock the gallant General/They run amok with bangers of death/While the Reed-like ruler of many promises/Sail across the shores with no disciples/To tend the scorched yard/

Through the markets down the village square it rented the air”chanji” immediate/

Alas, a new refrain ‘feedeefee’ 16 years spoilt the broth/But the voter calls ‘fix the broken pipe not to blame, to fight in the parliament of people or take trips on told.’

I just hope that, at the end of this journey, this social media poet, a fellow Arsenal fan and a member of the pen fraternity, would not be the one singing, “It was magic. It was illusory. It was delusional. It was like David Blaine!” Is there someone out there in the corridors of power decoding this piece? The griot has spoken. Let the wise chew from the bloodied lines. Wow, don’t I love poetry!

Long before now, Nigerians have come to accept the fact that ours is a feeding-bottle democracy where states that should ordinarily be self-sustaining in the true spirit of federalism, routinely run bowl-in-hand to the Federal government for sustenance. Aside a few exceptions, most of the states live at the mercy of the crumbs that fall off the table at the monthly sharing of funds drawn from the Federation Account. A significant many solely depend on such for both recurrent and capital expenditures, including what they use in servicing the state Government Houses’ oftentimes queer and weird peccadilloes. The steady crash in the prices of oil and a shrinking common purse must have piled additional pressure on the Big Brother at the centre with a responsibility to cater for 36 eternal suckling babies and a Federal Capital Territory that throng to the sharing table with little or nothing to offer. With this kind of scenario, it is not surprising that the President Muhammadu Buhari administration, which is still struggling to have a strong footing in governance, has decided to rescue states on the verge of a bankruptcy in the form of a N713.7bn intervention fund. Although this stop-gap measure is commendable, question still hovers on the sustainability of this sort of feeding bottle economics with modern realities staring us in the face.

Without a concerted effort to block all the leakages in a system in which all manner of financial malfeasance takes place, we may soon get to a point where the government at the centre might need a bailout itself. Advocates of a truly fiscal federalism have always faulted the arrangement of an all-powerful centre in which oil proceeds from a particular region of the country have become a national cake that must be shared by those who have practically gone to bed and have refused to generate appreciable income within their states. Ordinarily, the clamour for the creation of more states would have abated if states were left to fend for themselves while contributing an agreed percentage of generated incomes to the centre. As this argument continues, it is imperative to understand why most of the states, about 10 at the last count, could neither pay workers’ salaries, service debts nor provide needed infrastructures. This is not forgetting the fact that some Ministries, Departments and Agencies have also piled up debts in salaries even at the centre. At the heart of the seeming insolvency is the twin-edged sword of profligacy and corruption at the federal, states and local government levels.

It is sheer wishful thinking for anyone to believe that Buhari’s admonition to state governors to be prudent in the management of resources and think outside the box in boosting internally generated revenue would reap the required result. It is more than that. Buhari’s words of caution, timely as it was, may yet be another story for the gods if certain steps are not taken to pull these state chief executives by the ears to tread the path of sanity and fiscal responsibility. First, governors would need to stop seeing the treasury as part of their private holdings from which funds are disbursed to anyone that pleases their fancies. Sometimes you marvel at the number of hangers-on at the corridors of power who practically do nothing other than sing the praises of their principals and draw huge allocations as salaries and emoluments from the public till at their excellences’ pleasure. There was that story of a particular governor from the North who, at his whimsical best, had more than 2000 aides at his disposal! This is aside other key appointments. With an IGR that can barely fund a ministry, one can only imagine how the state would have survived without the monthly crumbs from the Federation Account.

Today, as I write this, a court has ordered a former powerful governor to forfeit property worth billions of naira to the government being illegal proceeds from his ‘stewardship’ in his state. It was obvious that funds that would have been judiciously spent to improve the fortunes of the state were siphoned and pumped into the governor’s private ventures. Another ex-governor with his two sons would be cooling their expensive heels in detention for two months pending the hearing of their plea for bail. Stories are rife about several other past and serving governors who are in the habit of freighting a large chunk of their monthly allocations abroad. Countless many others are presently struggling to enact law for the good governance of this country and tending to the truckloads of corruption cases against them at the courts. The irony is that these same persons, by virtue of their present status, would determine how far Buhari would go in his open declaration of war against graft. It is not impossible that they could frustrate any attempt to enact a law that may compel them to account for their misdeeds. Now, let me ask: Should it not be to our collective shame that these characters are gradually populating the hallowed chamber?

Like well-meaning Nigerians have pointed out, it is not enough for the government to bend over backwards in approving a bailout for states. Of major concern is how well these funds are utilised. In any case, the only alternative is for the various governments to make hard choices. For example, how sustainable is it for states to continue paying workers that add little or no value to governance. While it is the responsibility of the government to cater for its workforce, it is also imperative to take another look at the number of such workforce and align it with the present realities. It is no longer a secret that quite an appreciable number of these workers merely warm the office furniture to earn a monthly pay. Many of the states are still battling with the menace of ghost workers while millions of naira get paid as salaries and allowances to an entrenched cabal that ought to be flushed out. But because this cycle of corruption permeates all strata of governance, it is difficult for anyone to gauge the level of commitment of both the federal and state governments in eradicating this menace beyond the peripheral gestures of verification exercises.

However, it is noteworthy that the right noises are being made at the appropriate quarters on the need to monitor how governors manage the bailout. If care is not taken, some reasonable part of the N713 billion intervention funds might find its way to foreign accounts as it was in the past. Some may even divert part of it to fund white elephant projects that would bound be abandoned in no distant future. And so, it is not for nothing that some labour leaders have called on the governors to prioritise their programmes, pay workers’ salaries as and when due and stop the habit of going cap-in-hand to seek financial bailout from the centre. If this persists, then such states can only progress in a backward slide of development into bankruptcy.

Interestingly, one of the governors was quoted to have expressed optimism that his colleagues would strictly abide by the President’s counsel of prudent management of  resources. He said they would take cost-cutting measures including “appreciable reduction of security votes, stoppage of chartered flights and pegging the high cost of maintaining Government House to a low benchmark.”

Encouraging as his statement sounds, no one should be under any delusion that this is tantamount to the 36 states governors’ vow to walk their talk. If experience were to serve as any guide to the future, this could just be a quotable quote at the most auspicious time. It is not a guarantee that, as I write this, some state chief executives are not in talks with their bureaux-de-change friends on how to freight the converted cash to their foreign accounts. In other words, they may well be oiling the machinery for bolting out with the hard currencies with the usual exquisite tours on the trail of investors! It is an official excuse for capital flight. The only way to prevent this is for all eyes to be on the trail of the release and disbursement of the funds. But then, who can be trusted to dispassionately discharge such responsibilities in a system that has been corroded with entrenched corruption?

Dr. Bukola Saraki, the Kwara State-born politician and, by all sense of the word, a true inheritor of his late father’s exploits in the political terrain, takes his vocation more seriously than many would have imagined. The former banker, two-time governor and aide to ex-President Olusegun Obasanjo recently plotted a coup that saw him perching at the prestigious seat of Nigeria’s President of the Senate, even to the consternation of the leadership of his party, the All Progressives Congress. Some say he is perching precariously on the tip of a dangling rope. That is neither here or there. With the benefits of hindsight, I have no shred of doubt that Saraki must have exploited all the wily tricks in and out of the books to – with cold calmness – manoeuvre his way to the seat. Some say the feat was achieved through a combination of treachery and stone-cold ambition. I beg to disagree. I see his emergence strictly from the prism of what his supporters call Saraki’s patriotic magnanimity.

Who else, if not Saraki? Were it not for Saraki’s selfless love for country and party, we wouldn’t have had a Muhammadu Buhari as President and Commander-In-Chief of the Armed Forces today. What greater love could a man show other than sacrificing the Number One seat for our Buhari and then, settling for the lowly, albeit, inconsequential seat of a Senate Presidency. Yet, we heckle him for that. Would the heavens have come down if this man had stood his ground and contested the APC presidential primaries with Buhari, former Vice President Atiku Abubakar, Senator Rabiu Kwankwaso and Sam Nda-Isaiah? Would we have called him a traitor as we so treacherously label him today? Why are we bent on rubbishing the good deeds of this latest hero of our democracy in the post-Jonathan era?

I have read quite a number of obnoxiously annoying remarks by some persons, saying Saraki carried the joke too far by alluding to the fact that his decision not to run for the Presidency paved the way for Buhari. They even argue that Saraki’s claim is preposterous. Says who? Well, I think these persons underestimate the potency of Saraki’s pouch of political wizardry and his insatiable appetite for success. Didn’t they say he did not have the capacity to send his father to a late retirement from Kwara politics? Didn’t they say he could not muster enough support to install a governor in that state against Senator Gbemisola Saraki, the preferred candidate of his father? Didn’t they forecast his doom when he jumped ship and joined the APC with the incumbent governor of his state? And did he not reformat the party’s machinery in Kwara state to suit his design such that his candidates emerged victorious in the 2015 elections? So, is there anyone out there who is yet to see the light that we all owe Saraki an appreciation for giving us Buhari at a time when we all clamoured for change at the centre?

If you like, throw your nose up in pessimism, thinking that this is one of those satirical pieces by Knucklehead. Well, you are on your own. I am dead serious. Any man that could perfectly play the stuff reserved for an iconic figure in the 007 movies in real life can become whatever he chooses to become. Abubakar Bukola Saraki is the James Bond of Nigeria’s modern politics. From what he said in a recent interview, we can make a deduction that this fine northerner with a Yoruba name merely bid his time in the run-off to the election and hit his party in the groin at the most auspicious time. That, in itself reflects a unique sense of calculation. After all, the most calculating and even, selfish men have emerged as leaders in many climes. It is not by any stroke of providence that Saraki outdid everyone to be selected as the unopposed President of the Nigerian Senate. It took meticulous planning, deft moves and killer punches. We may not like his style but we have to give it to him that he got his party leadership foaming in the mouth and flailing with needless rage. By that time, he was already holding aloft the prize of his patriotic magnanimity with all the triumphalism that goes with it.

In case anyone is in doubt about how far Saraki would go in his determination to lead the 8th Senate, he offered snippets into what he had to do. His schematic prism is apt and tested: all is fair in war even if you have to dine with the devil with a shorter spoon. This is not textbook logic but tactical pragmatism. For a man who swore he never had any deal with the opposition Peoples Democratic Party, it is interesting that the PDP senators found Saraki too irresistible as a worthy bride for the Office of the President of the Senate. He said he would be the last person to sell his party cheaply for a pot of porridge but the APC came out of that session completely battered, deflated and shred of all modicum of respect. He rode to fame defaming a platform that now nibbles in anguish. But that should not be seen as a crime; after all, we all knew that he had helped PDP to its demise after being given the opportunity of high office. Or we saying he has given the PDP a renewed vigour to gloat?

His traducers now say that if there was any error in how things went awry for a party in which Nigerians reposed so much confidence, Saraki was that error. And so, when he made reference to a “combination of errors” leading to the election of Senator Ike Ekweremadu as Deputy Senate President, it shouldn’t be that hard for him to locate the mastermind of such tragic errors. Even his episodic rendering of the events indicts no one but the talebearer of that beer parlour rant. First, with placid innocence, Saraki said that the overwhelming support he got from the PDP senators was of “strategic interest” to the PDP as a party. What else would have pushed them to a more pliable, ready-to-play-ball candidate in the first instance? Then, Saraki dramatically announced his ‘pains’ that Senator Ali Ndume lost the election to Ekweremadu as he had thought “the two groups within the APC would meet and agree on a candidate.”  What faction was he referring to? The one he refused to meet with whilst dancing naked in the marketplace with the PDP hawks and hiding in ‘small cars’ in the dead of the night at the National Assembly parking lot? Could it be the same faction that obeyed President Muhammadu Buhari’s directive to converge on the International Conference Centre while his ‘election had come and gone’ before anyone could bat an eyelid?

Now, hear him at his sanctimonious best:

“As early as 4am or 5am, I had the contingency plan that by 8am, we would get to the National Assembly. But I was advised that it might not be safe for me, that if I wasn’t in the chamber, it would be impossible for anybody to nominate me. So l had to find my own way, as l was in the National Assembly complex as early as 6am that morning. I stayed in my small car at the car park until quarter to 10am.It was at quarter to 10am that l got the information that the clerk had entered into the chamber. This is the gospel truth. I was there without any communication. Anybody that said he spoke to me was lying. I did not even know. All l was doing was to be monitoring how people were arriving. It was at quarter to 10 that l got the information that the clerk had entered into the chamber.So, l got out of my small car, stretched myself and put on my Babaringa and walked from the car park into the chamber. I didn’t know anything. When l was in the chamber, the only thing l knew was that some of the senators were not present, but l noticed that people were arriving in batches. So, by 10am, the event started and before we knew it, my election had come and gone.”

Now, this must be the stuff Hollywood thrillers are made of. Such thoughtfulness is clearly beyond Nollywood. I may not know how the journalists present at the press briefing reacted to Saraki’s canticles but I sure know the key elements of moonlight tales. It takes an extraordinary man to remain incommunicado and yet get minute-by-minute information on when to stab his ‘colleagues’ in the back! He professed not knowing anything but it turned that he knew everything. The dramatist calls it a perfect setting for a treacherous script. Some say it is a betrayal. No, I disagree again. That is dignifying what never was. You are betrayed by those close to you, not by someone who never makes pretences about where he belongs to when the chips are down. These ones play strictly by their own definition of patriotic magnanimity which was also reflected in the shameful drama that played out during the nomination of leaders in the Senate. At least, we all saw how Saraki writhed in ‘pains’ as he picked the party men that aided the realisation of his ambition as Senate leaders. Regretfully, he could have shown how committed he was to the party by acceding to the choices made by the leaders if not for the fact that his hands were ‘tied” just like that of his counterpart in the House of Representatives, Speaker Yakubu Dogara.

For those who do not yet know, we are indeed living in strange times when shame has taken a flight and people now wear their garments of infamy with pretentious dignity and vacuous innocence! Pity.

Perhaps some of us were too dazed by the frenetic pace with which President Muhammadu Buhari roared into our consciousness as the likely successor to former President Goodluck Jonathan that it has become difficult to come to grips with his irritatingly slow approach to a much-vaunted philosophy of change. Buhari would even add a bit of pepper to that dizzying melee when he told a gathering of Nigerians living in South Africa that he would have appreciated if this presidential offer had come in his younger days and not at the twilight of his life. But then, wishes are not horses that fools would willfully ride. At this level of Nigeria’s wobbly trek to nationhood, it can least afford such excuse from a man many had expected to hit the ground running. After all, they had a choice to pick a younger Jonathan with abysmally low record of performance in his first five years on the throne when they opted for an old man with proven record in his younger days both as military Head of State and as Chair of the Petroleum Trust Fund. And so, crawling through policy issues is not an acceptable option!

In case Mr. Buhari did not know, some persons, especially vociferous members of the clique that was booted out in the March 28 elections, are already gloating over his initial presidential howlers in office. By errors of commission or omission, Buhari and his All Progressives Congress have jointly provided a veritable template for the opposition Peoples Democratic Party to latch on. And I must confess that Olisa Metuh and others are gradually settling down to assume a role of putting the Buhari government on its toes just the same way the PDP was harangued in its 16 years of rudderless leadership. Sometimes, you wonder if the PDP is not taking itself too seriously by propping up itself as the spokesperson for the Senate President, Bukola Saraki. Unless we are to believe the rumour that Saraki has ‘ported’ to the PDP, one is truly confounded at the rate Metuh’s office issues statements to “warn” Buhari or the APC against sanctioning its own members for the treachery that resulted in the emergence of the leaders in both chambers of the National Assembly. But then, who do you blame if not the leadership of a party that woefully failed to manage its success at the poll to the consternation of its millions of supporters and well-wishers?

Back to Buhari, one is truly saddened not only by a benumbing comedy of errors that has played out in the last few weeks of his Presidency but also by the troubling harvest of missteps by the President himself. Let’s face it, it beggars belief that this President still keeps everyone in the lurch on what should be a simple task of appointing his kitchen cabinet. Three weeks into his historic inauguration as President “for everybody and nobody”, Mr. Buhari has only made three appointments—two spokespersons and a chief protocol officer. For a man who acknowledges his inability to run the change tracks alone, it runs against commonsense that he has yet to name a substantive Secretary to the Federal Government of the Federation nor has he picked a Chief of Staff. Even when the 7th National Assembly gave expeditious approval to his request for the appointment of 15 Special Advisers, mum has been the word from Mr. Slow and not-so-Steady. Well, Buhari misses the point if this dangerous delay and the tendentious excuse he offered in South Africa are his way of craving our understanding for his meticulous sifting of the chaff from the wheat. Personally, I had thought he would have come into government with the list of his trusted aides and those with shared dreams tucked under his Babariga. Apparently, he is still hunting for the “right” personnel!

Question is: would this kind of approach ignite the fire of change that Nigerians long for? The answer is an emphatic no. The fillip that would propel change requires something more robust than a President’s plea to age. In fact, in Buhari’s case, age is presumed to be an added advantage. When his supporters nationwide flourished with wild jubilations shouting ‘Sai Baba, Sai Buhari’ on his declaration as President- elect, they knew it was the beginning of a new dawn. Having been ambushed by the sheer cold-blooded lunacy by the Boko Haram, a battered economy and total collapse of infrastructure, they were more than happy that a tested and trusted hand would soon be mounting the saddle to direct the affairs of the nation. They just had to cling to hope no matter how fragile. They knew the battle was half won with Buhari’s proclamation.

Three months later, that hope is dwindling because that practice of political chicanery called ‘babaism’, and which was infamously regaled with a robe of wisdom under the government of former President Olusegun Obasanjo, is gradually creeping in. In those days in Aso Rock, anything Baba, as Obasanjo was fondly called, was taken as divine wisdom. No one dared question his senility or the workability of his prognosis. When Baba says it, then it is taken as unimpeachable truth. In fact, Babaism is defined as the government of Baba, by Baba and for Baba. Call him an all-knowing President and you would not be far from a perfect moniker.  But for the ceaseless efforts and critical antagonism by the opposition, Obasanjo would have walked off with just anything , including the much-talked about third term agenda. Everything, well, nearly everything, came to live under his whim. He became some sort of demi god. He practically rode roughshod not just over his party but also the nation. The collateral damage inflicted on the psyche of the nation by this warped principle is still being felt today, some clear eight years after Obasanjo retired to his multi-billion Naira hilltop mansion in Abeokuta.

Some would say it is too early in the day to make a comparison between the two administrations. I beg to disagree. Nigerians, we must remember, did not waste time in labeling the late President Umaru Yar’Adua as Baba Go Slow when it became apparent that  his seeming lackadaisical attitude to governance was grinding the nation to a halt. By the way, how long did it take us to label Jonathan the clueless one? We should be worried that, by and large, Buhari has started with the pace of a marathoner instead of that of a man contesting a 100 metres dash.

At 72, he should have matured with and age and we expect him to take the positives out of that and apply it to governance. Sadly, the new ‘babaism’ appears to be foggy, slow, unsteady and weird. What message was the President trying to pass across when he said there was a limit to what he can do at his age? Where exactly was he standing when a few of his party men connived with PDP lawmakers to crown Saraki as an unopposed Senate President? If he truly belongs to nobody, why the double-faced statement in which he said he would have loved that his party’s candidates had emerge victorious while at the same time approving the sort of “constitutional process” that’s heralded the emergence of the Saraki/Dogara leadership? How long would it take him to come out with a workable list of the men and women that would begin the process of actualising the change mantra as espoused by the APC? When would Buhari roll up his sleeves and enter the ring to square up with corruption, which he has equally vowed to ‘kill’ before it kills the nation?

Good enough, Mr. Femi Adesina, the Special Adviser to the President on Media and Publicity, has smartly given an encouraging spin to his boss’ faux pas on the age issue. He said, like an old wine, the man millions of Nigerians voted for had come on board with “quantum of wisdom, patience, temperance and forbearance his age brings to make a difference in Nigeria.”  Adesina also assured that, under the life of this administration, we shall witness the end of insecurity as symbolised by the Boko Haram insurgency; corruption would be fought to a standstill; the teeming army of the unemployed would have cause to smile; the economy would be revived and this will reflect in all sectors. Soon, Adesina projected, Nigerians would witness the positive vibes of the Buhari persona at play.

Let’s give it to Adesina. That was a soothing intervention. But, there is a problem. We have never had shortage of crafters of inspiring words. What we have in short supply are those with the capacity of bringing those flowery words into fruition. For now, nothing on ground suggests an early change in the ways things were done in the past. If, indeed, old wines are tasty, then this old man has to do something about our taste buds. We long to taste the freshness of that tasty wine and not this whingeing about how age has soured the flavour. Nigerians would really like a psychoanalysis of this new ‘babaism’ and be sure it’s not a continuation of the crudity of a past that still haunts us today. If good wines get better with age as Adesina pointed out, the onus of proof lies on Sai Buhari to shake off that age-inflicted lethargy of the last three weeks and kick-start the ignition of change. With the sacrifices Nigerians made to get him in that seat, it can’t be too much for them to ask him what he would do with power now that he has it under his firm grip. Or can it?

Up until the early hours of May 29, 2015, Nigeria had a president known more for his trademark fedora and, some say, easy-going ways. Today, the mantle of leadership has changed hands and Muhammadu Buhari, a retired Army General and disciplinarian, is the man of the moment. He took the oath of office and oath of allegiance at a colourful ceremony at the Eagles Square, Abuja. Party over, Buhari needs to sit his bum down to tackle the accumulated multifarious challenges that continue to cripple the Nigerian nation. Clearly, he would be deluding himself and putting his reputation up for a bashing if he thinks Nigerians would exercise endless patience for him to plot his way through the landmines planted by the outgone government of Goodluck Jonathan. The exit of that administration sets the alarm bell for Buhari to hit the ground running. The populace has gone far beyond listening to any tendentious excuse about how bad the situation was before the May 29 handover date. All they want to see are visible nuggets that stand as roadmaps to recovery, especially by an administration that rode into power singing the change mantra. It may be tough, yet it is Buhari’s cross to deal with!

No matter how awry things have gone, excuses are simply not enough. Expectations are high that Nigeria’s real Mr. Fix It is in the saddle to bring the much-needed relief and put a smile on the faces of the long-suffering masses. Regardless of the humongous $63bn debt profile contained in Jonathan’s handover notes, the public expect Buhari to find the magic wand to revitalising the critical sectors of the economy. Chief among these is the energy sector, which has inflicted the gravest pains on the psyche of Nigerians in spite of the multi-billion dollar investments. There are also the nagging issues of institutional corruption and infrastructural decay. I guess it bears another repetition that Jonathan got voted out not only because the electorate grew tired of seeing his dull face giggling back at their penury. No sir. He was thrown out because he spent far longer time fiddling with his plethora of paper achievements while everything was collapsing all around him and over the heads of citizens. Aside his sloppy handling of the security situation in the country, he simply failed to show leadership when it mattered most. And, as days ran into months, the electorate grew tired of the perplexing lethargy he wrought on governance.

Besides, Jonathan was far too removed from the people to share in their pains and anguish. Without much to show in terms of genuinely praiseworthy productivity, he appeared immersed in the captivating allure of power. His hordes of court jesters entranced him with shibboleths of deceit and fairy tales of unprecedented strides. They said he was the next best thing to have happened to Nigeria after God. Some called him god. He relished the moment. They thanked him on our behalf for an endless mirage of ‘achievements’ whose impact the ordinary citizens have not really felt – building roads, improving education, providing quality health care system, introducing a template for uninterrupted power supply, stabilising the energy sector and securing lives and property. They propped him up as a symbol of the country’s perennial battle against corruption. He lapped it all without stepping out of his comfort zone to feel the pulse of the people. It took reality of credible election to nudge him to the vacuity of his action. He was held captive by power until the same power deserted him. The emperor was cut to size by the thumb and overnight, he came tumbling from his high horse!

Now that Buhari is President, he cannot afford to fall into the same potholes that eventually swallowed Jonathan’s second term bid. Thankfully, Buhari is not a neophyte, neither has he given anyone the impression that he is one to be swayed by the genuflections of palace wannabes. With his age and experience, he should know what he was walking into when he decided to, once again, have a shot at the presidency after three failed attempts. To demonstrate that capacity and understanding, he told a group of editors in a recent interview in the Sunday Trust that he was prepared to be his own man and find a way out of the exotic ‘cage’ that the Aso Rock Presidential Palace was to Jonathan. “I asked for it (to be President in Aso Villa)’, so whatever I meet there I cannot complain. I know, of course, that there is a lot of work to be done. The important thing is to make sure that the structures on ground are made to function; people are made to do their work and develop the capacity to supervise,” he had said.

Some have suggested that Buhari may not nurse a second term ambition. Well, you never can tell with politicians. Whatever happens, the fact remains that on his lean shoulders lie the future and fortunes of the ruling All Progressives Congress in subsequent elections. His four-year tenure offers a make-or-mar opportunity for the APC. No one is saying that it is going to be an easy task battling entrenched interests in a queer political system. It is just that Buhari has no option other than to walk his talk. There is no better time for him to display that courage, competence and capacity than now.

Good enough, he has started on the right template by insisting on being his own man. That’s my reading of his ‘somebody’ and ‘nobody’ statement. For, if the truth must be told, Jonathan’s numb tactlessness and weakness in dealing with issues of urgent national importance contributed to his failure. Perhaps, Buhari has learnt a big lesson from that and he has opted to be solely responsible for his action. However, Mr. President ought to understand that being his own man would surely come with a price even right within his own inner circle. His success would largely depend on how he employs wisdom in dealing with both the centripetal and centrifugal forces within and without. That, by the way, was the cage reality former President Jonathan was talking about. This subsequently beclouded his ability to stop the systemic rot.

Now that Buhari is President, the buck stops right on his desk. When he points the finger at Jonathan’s People’s Democratic Party for being an economic and political disaster in the last 16 years of our democratic journey, I just hope he understands that the remaining four fingers point right back at him. Therefore, he needs to, in the next four years, display the strength of character that would bring drastic change in the state of the economy and infrastructural development. In that Sunday Trust interview, he said his focus would be on education, healthcare, security, infrastructure, fighting corruption and blocking the various leakages, which resulted in the multi-billion dollar losses that found their ways to personal pockets of our rapacious, fleecing elite. Good talk. But then, didn’t they say talk is cheap? Is there really anything new in this that Jonathan did not vow to confront when he was inaugurated on May 29, 2011?

Just this reminder though: In the year 2011, former President Goodluck Jonathan inspired the nation to a frenzy of great expectations. He told them he was one of them; a man of simple means who rose to power from the backwaters of Otuoke in Bayelsa State. When he got into power, that poetic cadence metamorphosed into vain triumphalism. Drowned in the exhortations of the countless court jesters around him, Jonathan simply forgot to do a reality check at the footstool of the ordinary Nigerian who holds the ace to his fate as long as his continuous stay in that exotic ‘cage’ is concerned. If only he had taken the liberty to peep out of that cage occasionally to measure the pulse of his subjects, maybe he would not have suffered such a crushing blow. You do not throw your chin up for such a long time, ignoring informed clamour that you walk your talk and expect to reap a whirlwind of electoral victory. That’s why he is out there somewhere, wishing things had been done differently.

Now, Buhari is waltzing lyrical and sending waves of romantic sound bites into our ear lobes. We know about his legendary Spartan living and we can vouch for his stance against corruption. What we really do not know is if that would still be applicable immediately he gets giddy with the allure of that exotic cage which he is yet to move into as I write this. We really cannot fathom how he handles the pressures and sweet-coated offerings of the men in the corridors of power. Like I once admonished in an earlier piece, Buhari needs to hold himself to the mirror because he does not have the luxury of tendering excuses for any failure. Nigerians voted for good governance and not good luck. They heeded his call and it is now time for him to remember his promises. For the avoidance of doubt, I’ll list the some of the promises. He told us of his strategic plans to ensure that we now enjoy constant electricity; tame the cabal in the petroleum sector and reduce petrol price; return the naira’s lost glory against foreign currencies; give one free meal a day in all public schools; open a vista of opportunities for Nigerians to access better living conditions; create employment for the millions slapping the streets in dejection; fight corruption head-on and ensure the safety of lives and property. Surely, Buhari could not have forgotten so soon that quotidian living has become such a hellish reality that the citizens’ patience could not stand another bumbling whining from any government that is long on canticles and short on delivery.

Now that Buhari is President, the time ticks for him. He should rest assured that no one wants to hear his lamentations about his experience in the gilded cage called Aso Rock. Let him fix his gaze on the voices from the market place – the ones whose hopes and votes earned him an indisputably popular passage to the highest position in the land. That, by the way, is the constituency that he belongs. He is definitely not island of somebody and nobody! We just hope he remembers, hopefully!

Sometimes in April, 2013, I asked a question which, in my view, sums up the painful realities of the Nigerian story: how does hope triumph in a milieu where deception predominates our daily life? For as long as I can remember, we have always been, unabashedly so enmeshed in a mad race to bend the truth, even to our collective peril. It’s a tough one to swallow, but there is hardly any Nigerian today, big or small, who does not address issues solely from the direction through which his bread is buttered. And so, it is not uncommon to read about how some of yesterday’s men suddenly transformed into today’s apologists for all that is bad with the system. Let’s face it, you do not invite a man to ‘come and chop’ and then tolerate his indiscretion of pissing in the pot of soup. Seriously, I cannot understand why some people cry blue murder just because those who used to be on this side of the divide, breathing down the government’s neck now see things differently, having joined them on that side. In actual fact, this delusive grandeur of deceptive reasoning tends to continue ad infinitum because we all seem to be in the same boat—victims of the lure of the stomach rather than common sense.

Then, my focus was on a deceit of a different kind brewing in the then Peoples Democratic Party which fusillade was fast burning out under the leadership of Alhaji Bamanga Tukur —the endless chicanery at the Wadata House headquarters of the self-professed Africa’s biggest political gathering. That was the time the PDP started manifesting symptoms that became its present reality. It was at the point when it was, yet again, treading a self-implosion laden path, just two years before a general election. Those who call it a gathering of the crudest set of People-Deceiving-People must have perfectly dissected its physiognomy. Was it Soyinka that once described them as a “nest of killers”? No one should expect less than something close to a fratricidal war in a family of deadly pugilists who will stop at nothing to hold on to power. Those who expect things to be different under the President Goodluck Jonathan administration really must have lost the compass in navigating the history of this behemoth. For, right from inception, the PDP has proved to be its own greatest enemy. It has a queer way of raking up needless dust and making a hell of a noise out of it.

In its 16 years of existence, the party has always been in search of peace while it holds on tenaciously to those things that are the direct antithesis to a peaceful communion. At the heart of its problems is its fixation to a fallacy that it is running a party of like minds with adherence to rules and regulations as contained in its constitution. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Perhaps, if the founding fathers of the party had stood their ground and stopped former President Olusegun Obasanjo from annexing the PDP as part of his personal fiefdom in Aso Rock, this behemoth would have saved itself from being under the control of one man. We may not know if the story would have been different had the late President Umaru Yar’Adua completed his tenure. But we do know when and how the so-called supremacy of the party was subjugated under the whim of one man. It started when Obasanjo got tired of Chief Barnabas Gemade as chairman of the party, cut short his tenure and imposed Chief Audu Ogbeh at a closely monitored pseudo convention. It was not long before Ogbeh received the same shock treatment after Obasanjo’s symbolic rapprochement at the former’s house where he reportedly ate pounded yam and vegetable soup. Hours later, Ogbeh was kicked in the groin and Chief Ahmadu Ali (yes, the same man who failed woefully to return President Goodluck Jonathan as Chair of his 2015 campaign team), singlehandedly picked by Obasanjo, stepped in.

Since then, the PDP has been waddling in deceitful twists and turns. Its constitution was dramatically changed to accommodate Obasanjo’s dream of becoming a life Board of Trustees chair. Chief Vincent Ogbulafor was eased out of office in a controversial manner by Jonathan loyalists for his insistence on maintaining the zoning arrangement of the party, which would have seen a Northerner emerge as President in the 2011 elections. He was shoved off the chair few days after the party’s National Executive Committee, which was chaired by Jonathan, passed a vote of confidence on his leadership. Even Ogbulafor’s successor and Jonathan’s chosen, Dr. Okwesilieze Nwodo, could not survive the web of deceit woven around the presumed cohesion in the party and he had to step aside.

Fast-forward to 2012 and there came in a breath of fresh air in the person of Alhaji Bamanga Tukur, an octogenarian with vast experience in business and politics. Everyone had thought he would be the stabilising factor, the father figure that would truly bring the dissenting voices in the family to the round table. But, alas, Tukur merely marked his time. All his efforts came to nought. When his time came, he left that swinging hot chairmanship seat unsung. It is simply unbelievable that the ruling party can’t wean itself of its old wily ways.

Did anyone remember all the melodrama that played out before Tukur was shown the door by Jonathan? We cannot easily forget how the party’s National Publicity Secretary, Chief Olisa Metuh, downplayed the brewing crisis by blaming it on mischief makers (thank God it is not the devil this time). While Metuh rambled on and on about cohesion and unity in the rank and file of the party, the Akwa Ibom State Governor and chair of the PDP Governors’ Forum, Godswill Akpabio, pointed dagger of accusation at those he called ‘Judases’ that must be sent packing before lasting peace can be achieved. He said majority of the party members were on the same page with the party apparatchiks. That was at a time when Tukur and the BoT Chairman, Chief Tony Anenih, embarked on separate junkets across the nation on a reconciliatory mission. It was curious, and we pointed it out then, that these octogenarians were busy reconciling close ‘friends’ when they should be in the comfort of their homes resting? If things were as calm as cucumber, why Akpabio’s reference to Judases that would be crushed by the party’s moving train? Why the nine-month delay in holding the party’s NEC, an event that should be a quarterly affair in accordance with the constitution? Why were the governors queuing behind their Adamawa counterpart in the crisis that Tukur was clearly an interested party? Why was its deposed National Secretary, Olagunsoye Oyinlola, crying blue murder and threatening to fight Tukur to the bitter end? Why the backbiting, dirty intrigues and hurried fence-mending? Why?

The day after…

Some derisively describe PDP’s major lingering ailment as Eedi Ajatuka – a Yoruba description that connotes a group’s supernatural but largely self-chosen descent into perdition. Today, the bubble of deceit has burst and the party is at the latter stages of an implosion long foretold. Many are already battling to win the prize as writer of a fitting epitaph for the fallen edifice. Adamu Muazu, the man Jonathan handpicked to replace Tukur, has thrown in the towel having superintended over the routing of the party from the national political space. Tony Anenih, the man famed for his infamous quote of ‘no vacancy in Aso Rock’ for every sitting President, has also vacated the political space for Jonathan to have a free hand in reconstructing a party under intensive care with a life support machine to boot. Even Anenih’s post is now vacant. He just couldn’t permanently fix his ass on the Board of Trustees chair! Metuh and his co-travellers may soon find themselves out in the cold with the way some remnants of the President’s men are baying for their blood. Something tells me this flailing once-upon-a-time leading party in Nigeria may soon be in the morgue, smothered by sheer, unrestrained arrogance.

Truth is: although the PDP reserves the right to pride itself as the only national party in the land; the sad reality is that it has not managed its affairs better than the opposition parties. It is abysmally poor on internal democracy because it operates at the whim of one man—the voice from Aso Rock. It was the norm under Obasanjo and the pattern continued with unabashed temerity under Jonathan. That, in my humble view, is not party supremacy. It is the basest form of political gobbledygook. If the party must look itself in the mirror, it must start by accepting that it has thrived on deceit and has not lived up to the minimum standard it sets for itself. I doubt if there exist any tale of self-inflicted betrayal that could be bigger than this. By the way, that is what Judases do. They just gave the PDP, its leadership and the President a bloody nose.

Well, Jonathan would sure have the free time to revive the dying party with the cooperation of his herd of lackeys but only time can tell how far he can go in halting the final implosion of a behemoth that waddled in deceit in a marriage of strange bedfellows under the fraternity of a nest of killers! That time ticks for Jonathan after May 29!