The Nation Newspaper

Category: Yomi Odunuga

  • Memo to the ‘resurrected’ First Lady(1)

    Memo to the ‘resurrected’ First Lady(1)

    Madam, I greet you in the splendour of your majesty.First, a clarification—I am not one of those ‘bad belle’

    people who wished you dead when you were enjoying a well-deserved rest in Wiesbaden, Germany, last year. I am not one of those lackeys who would rather tell you what you crave to hear either. Under the current administration, Nigeria’s multi-billion Naira sycophancy industry has blossomed in a phenomenal pattern. But I am not one of those ‘lucky few’ who gravitate around your corridors of power. Instead, like every other nosy journalist, my interest then was where you, Nigeria’s First Lady were; and what you could be up to. The implications of your action and inaction were of professional concern to me. In pursuit of the truth, I had pressed one or two buttons at the right quarters and thus the story published in this paper on how the surgeons battled to save the precious life of our First Lady—the one and only wife of our Otuoke-born President. For daring to mention the surgeon’s scalpel, some of “today’s men” hovering round your husband were quick in issuing a rejoinder, calling us names. They said we were peddling rumours; that you only relocated to Germany to have a nap as favour-seekers had made the palatial ambience of Aso Rock too stuffy for comfort. They hushed us into silence, vowing that you were never suffering from any life-threatening ailment. They urged us to wait with bated breath as we would soon witness your triumphant entry into Nigeria.

    And did you disappoint when you finally waltzed into the country on October 17, 2012? No, you did not. Indeed, your return was a carnival of sorts. No small measures where you are concerned, we all know. The crowd of sympathisers were neatly arranged; buses were provided and they besieged the Presidential Wing of the Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport, Abuja, bearing different colourful placards proclaiming your invincibility. Of course, the Presidential Villa was powerfully filled with ministers and top aides falling all over themselves as usual, just to make sure that they were captured by the television cameras. That, I assumed, was more important than a handshake with the First Lady. They blushed. They grinned. They offered peripheral gestures.

    They danced too. I watched as you sucked it all in. You waved as you came out of the presidential jet. It was your moment to hit back at those who shamefully lied that you had fallen ill and had been immediately air-lifted to Germany for a life-saving treatment. “Ko jo rara!” You mimicked in Yoruba. It was time to hit back at your ‘enemies dem’ and rub their noses on the bare floor. When you spoke, you minced no words in calling them bare-faced liars and nitwits. You were the woman of the moment; the newsmaker and you lapped it all. You cast the first stone right at the doorsteps of your detractors.

    You fired from all cylinders, saying: “At the same time, I will use this opportunity to tell those few ones that are saying that anybody that goes to Villa or Aso Rock will die. At the same time, I read in the media where they said I was in the hospital. God almighty knows I have never been to that hospital. I don’t even know the hospital they mentioned. I have to explain what God has done for me. I do not have terminal illness, either did I do any cosmetic surgery, talk more or less of tummy tuck. My husband loves me as I am and I am pleased with how God created me. I cannot add anything.”

    Madam, that memory is still fresh. In our usual fashion, your admirers must have been elated to be part of history—making the train of revellers that welcomed the wife of the President who went on a six- week unofficial rest abroad! You must have remembered how you ran into the embrace of your dear husband. Oh, it was a sight to behold as ‘Oga’ held you close, sans the probing eyes of other well-wishers and the paparazzi. We shared in that joy, knowing what that great reunion meant for the nation—the Mother of the Nation—a Permanent Secretary in Bayelsa State—is back!

    The news of the denial of surgery of any kind spread like wildfire and the media became the butt of derisive joke. Quite a number of people believed you. Why shouldn’t they? You were looking radiant, refreshed and relaxed. Okay, maybe you were a bit edgy on arrival but there were no signs of weakness for the few moments you interfaced with the throng of sympathisers. You made your points, cleared your conscience, went into another prolonged rest in Aso Rock, made some cameo appearances and then quietly took off to Germany for a routine medical check-up some weeks back.

    In all honesty, we thought the final curtain had fallen on that matter. We were prepared to lick our wounds. It was your word against ours, anyway. It was some kind of relief that your trip did not add to the over $500m allegedly spent on medical tourism yearly by the money guzzlers in government. In fact, that six-week nap abroad must have given you the opportunity to interact with foreign investors – not just the usual officialese when Nigerian VIPs go abroad to burn truckloads of dollars. That was the economic angle that your detractors failed to see. Now, they know better. No wonder, you promised, on your return, to “work with women of Nigeria, children and the less privileged.” No surgery, No ill health. No tummy tuck. No hospital treatment. Just a trip to observe rest!

    Sadly, that was the first leg of the tale as told by you in October, 2012! Little did we know that it was a moonlight story wreathed in white lies. And, if you ask me, I will say it is a sad commentary on what leadership is all about. Some said truth was callously slaughtered and integrity thrown out of the window.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Still on FCT’s whimsical appropriations 

    Still on FCT’s whimsical appropriations 

    Some lead at various levels, with a view to leaving indelible footprints on the sands of time. Many others, with

    limited perceptions of what leadership truly means, occupy public office and leave like handwritings on the sand – leaving memories that are easily washed away by coming waves. Whether leaders put down our action or inaction down in diary form or not, it matters less; yesterday’s men and those occupying the hallways of power today are all bound to become part of history in due course. We are all but slaves to history and the passage of time. And we do all have a story to tell, don’t we?

    Just last week, my very good friend, Mallam Nasir el-Rufai, made public his own story in a book titled ‘The Accidental Public Servant.’ If el-Rufai’s book has not berthed with the kind of controversy trailing it, I would have been shocked for the pint-sized former Minister of the Federal Capital Territory is controversy personified. I’ll explain.

    There is more to the el-Rufai personae than all that he has recorded as his story in public service. Well, some have accused him of sexing-up the book with half-truths, pure lies and warped illogic. They may be right. Personally, it is my belief that some things could have been left unsaid by the author. But, as someone wrote, we can expand the scope of intellectualism and avail history of more materials by writing our own books instead of baying at a man who sees himself as an accident in the public service sector.  If his book is an accident, then it is our responsibility to heal it and dress the injuries by setting the records straight with another book! And I guess those mentioned in the book will take up that challenge and stop whining.

    Somehow, el-Rufai’s book has reawakened my desire to put my experiences on this job in black and white. When I eventually settle down to doing that, maybe I will summon the courage to reveal one or two things about this “yesterday’s man” (apologies to Dr. Reuben Abati) and how we struck a friendship that has confounded many. It was a friendship that cost me a job and truncated a blossoming career all because some persons misinterpreted my affinity to the man former President Olusegun Obasanjo would rather call “short  man!” Whenever I get around to writing that book, maybe, just maybe, I will expose the deceit, intrigues, back-biting and the deadly power game that go on in that corridor. One thing is clear: pettiness is an essential commodity in the corridors of power here. If in doubt, take a peep into el-Rufai’s book.

    It illustrates the unfortunate reality that pettiness and prebendal politicking have become veritable tools being exploited by many to hang on to power. Even the national budget is ‘doctored’ to meet this queer arrangement in which otherwise principled men pander to the whim of a powerful few. Many examples abound but let us stick to the most recent revelations on the floor of the National Assembly when the budget of the FCT was unveiled for thorough scrutiny. If you thought the FCT management would have learnt its lesson with the dust raised over the plan to spend close to N15bn on the remodelled official residence for the Vice President, then you are yet to come to grips with the template of shenanigans that pass as governance process here. It is as if some persons delight in swimming in the ocean of multi-billion naira scandals.

    Without any intent of giving credence to the beer parlour rumour that a select group of ministers derives their staying power from a complete subjugation of their authorities under that of the goddess of Aso Rock, I strongly want to believe that the FCT Minister, Sen. Mohammed Bala, understands that it takes a lot more than satisfying the narrow bourgeoisie tastes of the hawks in power to succeed on his present seat. Does he appear to be one who wants history to be kind to him at all? At least, he should be wise enough to make a clear distinction between the FCT budget and that of the Presidency. Sadly, with the frenetic pace his men have been quoting extant laws to justify every profligate appropriation for The Presidency, including an unknown Office of the First Lady, it is doubtful if Bala can escape the charge of being guilty of running a budget that was tailor-made for the clearly humongous (that word again!) taste of Aso Rock denizens while the real people come a distant second!

    For a capital city that is buffeted with loads of developmental and security challenges in the face of inadequate funding, many had expected the Federal Capital Development Authority (FCDA) to adopt cost effective measures in its budgeting process. But if the details of the 2013 appropriations were anything to go by, one is tempted to assume that voyeurism consideration must have taken precedence over prudence in the compilation of the figures. It was so bad that the yamheads under Bala’s watch allocated a princely sum of N5bn to “rehabilitate prostitutes and destitute” in the city.

    Now, don’t ask me if the authorities have any accurate data of prostitutes and the destitute in the city. That will be asking for too much in a society where prostitution and destitution have many faces. For example, how do you rate the corporate sex-for-contract ‘business tycoons’ hanging around the corridors of power in Abuja, including Bala’s FCDA? What do you make of the corporate beggars in suits and ties that ply their trade in the Central Business District? How about the young graduates who hawk items in offices and make no bones about their readiness to do “other stuffs” if the price is right? Are these persons captured in the FCT”s N5bn rehabilitation programme and what is the modus operandi? Besides, what informs Bala’s fixation to an eternal battle with prostitutes when any resident would gladly tell you that that is the least of the city’s problem?

    Mallam el-Rufai might be an accidental public servant but he was clearly not a mistake in the FCDA as a Minister in the Presidency. He revived the belief that Abuja can work if primordial sentiments are thrown overboard and key elements of the master-plan are strictly implemented. In his four-year stay, he injected life back into a dying dream. At least, he deserves a genuine bragging right for this even if I disagree with some of the things he said in his book. We may quarrel with the way he allegedly gifted land and government houses to some lackeys of former President Obasanjo and his friends. What we cannot deny him is his commitment to seeing that the capital city regains its sanity. It was also to his credit that, despite his endless face-off with the National Assembly over bribery allegation before his appointment could be confirmed, the FCT’s budgets were never subjected to the kind of outlandish ridicule that one witnesses today. Allocating billions for the First Lady’s office is only a recent achievement for the history books under Bala’s watch.

    And there lies my beef with Mr. Bala and his team. It is, to say the least, outrageous that his administration could bold justify the proposed N4bn African First Ladies’ Peace Mission building on its “statutory duty to build for the good of the public” including the smart excuse that the construction of the AFLPM building would not only save cost but also “ serve multiple roles in providing office accommodation as well as housing not just African First Ladies’ Peace Mission but other international bodies as well.”  Now, if I may ask, wouldn’t it have been more cost-effective to rehabilitate the dilapidated Women Centre to satisfy the desires of the First Lady instead of embarking on another white elephant under the pretext of fulfilling a statutory duty? And if Dame Patience Jonathan must get her wish from her ‘son’ by all means, wouldn’t it have been more cost-effective to include the AFPLM office in the architecture of the proposed new Banquet Hall that would befit the high taste of her husband’s guests? Or do African First Ladies have higher cravings than those of the men they marry?

    Like one of the senators puts it, the Bala administration is simply wearing its magnifying glass wrongly. It is cuddling shadows instead of doing something about the grim realities of daily living in Abuja. Who needs a white elephant when basic infrastructures are begging for attention in Nigeria’s political capital? Access to basic healthcare remains poor; water supply to urban districts like Maitama, Asokoro and Wuse is perennially inadequate; pupils still take lessons under trees in some council areas; housing problem persists; the transportation system is in chaos due to ill-thought policy and power supply is epileptic. But how can they care when they are sold to an ideology of misplaced priorities? That is what Oby Ezekwesili called tragic choices!

    Listen to Senator Babajide Omoworare: “I’m worried about the provision of bogus figures (and) there’s a lot of disconnect. This (FCT) budget hasn’t shown the reality of what’s happening in and around Abuja. We have not set our priorities right. I’m of the view that the committee should look into this. Again, I remember that in this chamber last year, we voted N1bn only for new federal universities yet, we are being asked to appropriate N4 billion for an office (of the First Lady) that is alien to the .Constitution.”

    Another Senator, Babafemi Ojudu, was said to have expressed fears about the consequences of allowing the news of the curious, outright mundane and profligate appropriation to get to the public, especially to the youth who are being taken for granted. Does it really matter anymore? Budgeting at the whim will continue to thrive until such a time when the National Assembly takes its responsibility seriously and curtail its prurient dalliances with the executive. After all, has the persistent umbrage by the lawmakers halted the ratifications of such questionable appropriations in the past? Even this one, bad as it looks, may get the nod of the lawmakers having passed the crucial Second Reading! One thing is sure though: as long as otherwise principled men continue to shirk their responsibilities and allow those who accidentally find themselves in power to rule by the whim, Nigeria will continue to be haunted by its tragic choices! For a capital city that has had the misfortune of being headed by a successive gang of underachievers, Bala cannot afford to fall under that categorisation. Unfortunately, nothing tells us that he is set to be the kind of accident that el-Rufai turned out to be. Or would his story be told differently by history?

  • Humongous nonsense!

    Humongous nonsense!

    It would have been a breeze of pleasant surprise had Dr. Doyin Okupe, the President’s adviser on public affairs decided to keep quiet for once. Curiously, none of those in Nigeria’s perverted corridors of power has dared to take up the challenge of squaring up with Mrs. Oby Ezekwesili in a public debate over allegations of “brazen misappropriation of public resources” levelled against the Jonathan administration. Nonetheless, it would have been shocking if Okupe had not sought to bring down the full weight of his office (no pun intended) to bear on Ezekwesili for daring to finger President Goodluck Jonathan as one of the major players in the ‘misapplication’ of $67bn foreign reserve left by the Olusegun Obasanjo administration.

    The Okupe I know is not one that would allow a Labaran Maku to take the shine off his office through a hurriedly-arranged press conference. By the way, Ezekwesili used to be a highly visible member of the economic think-tank in the Obasanjo administration. Popularly called ‘Madam Due Process’, she was appointed a minister after injecting some measure of credibility into the due process unit. From Knucklehead’s point of view, unlike her traducers, Ezekwesili’s intellectualism, passion and love for this country has never been in doubt. For a woman that enjoyed the support of Obasanjo, I had labelled her ‘crazy’ when she walked out of the ministerial appointment and accepted to serve with World Bank as Vice President for Africa. Why abdicate such ‘juicy’ post as a cabinet member for a regulated pay which could end up being a toothbrush allowance for a Nigerian minister, any minister? Yet, Ezekwesili made her choice!

    Perhaps, if she had decided to play by the rules and keep a permanent smirk on her chubby face as the transformation train wobbles on a slippery rail, Ezekwesili would not be in the eye of the storm today. But, ever since our encounter in Aso Rock when she was a senior aide to Obasanjo, I knew Oby was not one to suffer fools, especially the parasitic elite, gladly. Her mission seems quite simple: stop the looting and fix the nation for good! In our countless interactions, I never fail to remind her that she was probably the lone dreamer on that train. To her, I was just being a cynic. Today, I doubt if she is still bustling with blind optimism about people in power and their intent to raise the nation a notch higher than the derelict structure they met. There were simply too many pretenders even in the Obasanjo cabinet and they wore split images. Most of them would sacrifice an arm and a leg to belong to that group of rapacious elite that Oby so much despises because of the callous way they continue to impoverish the poor. And I guess she knew any confrontation with this clique is bound to be met with something close to a deadly, custom-built earthquake.

    And so when the retired World Bank chief kicked the Jonathan government in the groin, accusing it of wasting a large chunk of an estimated $67bn (N10.8trn) left in the nation’s foreign accounts by Obasanjo as at May 2007, she must have anticipated some sort of angry rebuttal from the President’s men. For a woman who rarely cuddles controversy, I want to assume that she was sure of the authenticity of the figures before rolling them out in a lecture delivered as part of the convocation ceremonies of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. She must have been truly troubled to have coined the fiery words used in passing on that message. She must have been convinced that something needed to be done to reverse the gradual slide into economic stagnation. This is not just about what she said but the way she couched it.

    Listen to her: “They squandered the significant sum of $45billion in foreign reserve account and another $22billion in Excess Crude Account, being direct savings from increased earnings from oil that the Obasanjo administration handed over to the successor government in 2007. Six years after the administration I served handed over such humongous national wealth to another one, most Nigerians, but especially the poor, continue to suffer the effects of failing public health and education systems as well as decrepit infrastructure and battered institutions.

    “One cannot but ask what exactly does this level of brazen misappropriation of public resources symbolise? Where did all that money go? Where is the accountability for the use of these resources and the additional several hundred million dollars realised from oil sale by the two administrations that have governed our nation in the last five years? How were these resources applied or, more appropriately, misapplied? Tragic choices.”

    For an administration with a short fuse for absorbing criticism no matter how flexibly constructive, it was not long before the dogs were let loose on this wife of a pastor. For daring to raise questions on accountability in governance in addition to having the effrontery to table humongous charges bearing on sheer waste against Jonathan and his late predecessor, Umaru Yar’Adua, Ezekwesili has come under ferocious attacks. She has been called a liar; a rabble-rouser; an unqualified interrogator; shameless peddler of incorrect figures and a grand-stander that should not be dignified with a public debate to verify the true figures. Between Maku and Okupe, picking the winner in the craze to unleash verbal expletives remains too close to call. They are sure earning their pay!

    To be candid, no one had expected them to stay on the topic without hitting Oby below the waist band. As far as they are concerned, all is fair in this verbal war. Still, it was uncharitable for Maku to insinuate that Oby mis-managed the ‘humongous’ funds released to the Ministry of Education whilst she in charge of that sector. Unless he wants to confirm our fears that files bothering on corrupt practices by people in government are kept in a special cabinet in the President’s office to be employed just they can be employed as tools for blackmail should the need arise, I really cannot figure out what Maku wants us to make of his allegation that Oby squandered over N430bn without any remarkable shift or improvement in the fallen standard of education. I just hope Minister Maku, a one-time deputy governor in Nasarawa State, was not too young then to understand the damage the term ‘policy summersault’ has inflicted on the polity. He couldn’t have forgotten so soon that after Oby resigned and joined the World Bank, that sector was put under the care of a former governor who was more concerned with the grandiose arrangement for the celebration of his marriage anniversary than fixing a sector that was in complete tatters after Oby’s reform was thrown out of the window. In spite of the fact that lecturers had been on strike for over nine months and those who could afford it had sought admission for their wards in neighbouring countries including Togo and Cameroun, didn’t the minister go ahead to have the shindig of his life? In any case, if the government thinks it has a strong case against Ezekwesili, the appropriate thing to do is to drag her before the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission and not this whimsical allegation of wasting a ‘humongous’ N430bn by a regime accused of frittering away a whopping N10.6 trillion in five years.

    Yet, we return to the real issue at hand. This outlandish and utterly humongous joke must stop. Ezekwesili’s allegations are too serious to be trivialised or waved aside by the government as yet another ranting by someone who once ‘mis-applied’ money entrusted in her care as a public officer. That argument simply doesn’t wash just as the primitive tactic of name-calling begs the question. If the government truly wants to come clean on this matter and convince us beyond any reasonable doubt that Ezekwesili manipulated figures in order to give it a bloody nose, then it should gladly accept the public debate. This issue surely deserves a dignified response and not the usual bulldozing whereby the “accuser or agent provocateur”, as Okupe puts it, is shouted into silence. Nigerians deserve to know whether it is true that we are in this quagmire due to the “tragic choices” made by some people in Aso Rock. We need to know when and where the rain started beating us!

    It is soul-lifting that the National Assembly, specifically the House of Representatives, has stepped into the matter. We wait to see how far Okupe can go with his puerile argument that spent fund cannot be described as squandering of riches simply because it was budgeted for! Would the lawmakers accept the laughable excuse that Ezekwesili was merely ‘ playing to the gallery’ and that it was yet another calculated but ‘unsuccessful’ attempt to maliciously “incite” the public against Jonathan and bring his administration into disrepute unjustifiably? Surely the government would need more than Okupe’s gabbling and foul-mouthing Ezekwesili as a “wilfully perjured individual not worthy of any respect or recognition whatsoever.” Hmnn, maybe these attributes were parts of the things that endeared her to the World Bank where she excelled!

    Be that as it may, the dusts being raised about how the nation’s money is being managed provides Jonathan an opportunity to clear his name that, in words and deed, he has truly transformed the much promised mirage of “breeze of fresh air in governance” into a reality. All he needs to do is to avail the nation of the facts, figures and what exactly the funds were spent on. Evidently, this is not the time to gloat about imaginary enemies hiding behind the huge ghost of misgovernance to damage anyone’s reputation. Good enough, Ezekwesili’s questions are routine and should be quite easy to deal with by any self-respecting government. Was there a brazen misappropriation of public funds? If no, then why was the nation’s foreign reserve gravely depleted and what was the money used for? Can someone render accounts on how the additional billions of dollars realised from oil sale by the two administrations that have governed our nation in the last five years have been applied? How were these resources applied or more appropriately, misapplied? And did we end up wasting the resources on what Ezekwesili dubbed ‘tragic choices?’ Haha, answering these questions shouldn’t be rocket science for eggheads in the corridors of power.

    Obviously, these questions couldn’t have emanated from the warped rambling of a perjured mind. So, why are some people bent on heaping this humongous nonsense that shames a nation in historical proportions on us all? Must opaque management of public resources and crass disregard for genuine accountability forever remain a directive principle of state? Maybe while our VIPs plan a centenary to celebrate what citizens know not, it is beyond us to ask them to account for how they have spent our money. If they continue treading this wayward path, one day, the Arab spring would look like a picnic when the people rise to ask questions with one voice ringing loud and clear across the land!

     

  • In defence of presidential umbrage

    In defence of presidential umbrage

    If there is any positive point to be taken away from President Goodluck Jonathan’s on-the-spot assessment of the state of infrastructural decay at the Police College, Lagos, it is the fact that it indicates that after all, our President is far from being clueless as most of his critics would want us to believe. As should be expected, most Nigerians wasted no time in joining the bandwagon of Facebook and Twitter ‘abusers’, labelling Jonathan “clueless” all because he fingered his enemies as the brains behind the Ikeja Police College rot. And there lies my problem with the Nigerian electorate. They are simply difficult to govern. They complain over every step taken in the name of governance. They complain incessantly over the hilariously unique brand of good governance that our President exemplifies. Oh, come off it! You can accuse the President of anything but definitely not a charge of inability to handle all the problems confronting this country…in his own way. Surely, a clueless person would not have answers to all questions like he has been doing lately. Please, you may wish to have another view of the interview conducted by Christiane Amanpour where the President scored himself high on power supply, saying: “Power is one area that Nigerians are pleased with this administration. I prefer you ask ordinary Nigerians on the street of Lagos or Abuja this question.” Ha! Holy Moses!

    Question is: must we heckle for heckling sake? Or are we saying that the President should keep quiet while critics run him out of Aso Rock? By the way, I am of the opinion that Jonathan’s indignation against the media and the yamheads that allowed the filming of that great institution is justified! In fact, no one worthy of being described as a patriot would have allowed such sacrilege. What exactly was the television station trying to prove by showing footages of police trainees queuing to answer the call of nature in open and dirty spaces; scrambling to be part of a sharing ratio of 50 trainees per fish head; bathing in the open; adopting the ‘shot put’ method in the disposal of human wastes; and sweating for sleeping space in overcrowded, poorly ventilated and stuffy dormitories that could pass for an utterly unkempt prison in saner climes? Didn’t it occur to these dumb heads that these processes are deliberately designed for the trainees with the aim of getting them psychologically prepared for the arduous task of policing in the country and sadistically taming citizens in the open prison called Nigeria?

    They said the environment under which the police are trained is dehumanising and lowers the integrity of trainees. And I ask: how? Has any policeman complained to the public or has that affected the “your boys dey here” mentality? Besides, if the environment under which officers are trained were to be squeaky clean, would it have been easier for trainees to, with lightning speed, adjust to the real condition of the police stations and barracks? Or have we not given a thought to what it would cost the authorities to maintain a Shock Therapy Unit whereby freshly recruited officers would be lectured on how to cope with the ghetto lifestyle of police barracks should the government succumb to the call for an upgrade of the police colleges of which the Lagos centre is described by one of the interviewed senior police officers as “the best in the country?’ How long, really, can the pig last outside its stinking sty?

    On a serious note, I am shocked that Nigerians have refused to see the business sense in this whole matter. They dissipate needless energy on the social media, faulting the Otuoke-born leader for his “un-presidential remarks” by quipping: “This is a calculated attempt to damage the image of the government, as the college is not the only training institution in the country.”  They said he missed an opportunity to show leadership and seize the moment to explain what his administration would do to the correct the rot of countless years. Haba, what else do we want him to do? Has he not reminded us that he should not be blamed if he was annoyingly slow in correcting the decay he inherited from our long inglorious past? Has he not explained that these things take time and that 2013 promises better prospects of regular electricity supply, infrastructural development, employment generation and a robust security network? So, why can’t impatient citizens exercise some patience with our leader’s ‘Papa Go-Slow’ principles of leadership so that we can all benefit from the good luck that 2013 holds?

    Still on the fish head matter, a bird whispered to Knucklehead that some smart foreign investors are already asking questions on the magical formula being used in sharing the poor thing. Even Arsene Wenger, the coach of my favourite EPL club, Arsenal, would sacrifice an eye to learn one or two economic lessons on the Almighty Theory of feeding 50 men with one fish head. Yet, here in Nigeria, we are shouting blue murder. In the first place, must trainees eat fish or even its fins? In fact, we ought to thank the police hierarchy for their magnanimity in sparing the fish head to ordinary trainees while they manage the softer parts! For this great sacrifice, all they get as rewards are visible pot bellies. Oh, what a great sacrifice!

    Predictably, the Action Congress of Nigeria joined the fray for all the wrong reasons. It lampooned Jonathan for demanding to know how a private television station’s camera “penetrated’ the walls of a 70-year-old institution, with a collateral damage of exposing its stinking innards to the world. Playing the role of an unsolicited advisor, the party went to say that:  “Mr. President, those comments were totally unnecessary, and they put a damper on what would have been a great moment for you. Terrible as the state of the Police College in Ikeja is, it represents a tip of the iceberg when compared with the pervasive rot in police barracks and police stations as well as the generally poor welfare of the police.” What gall! Why should any unremunerated citizen or political party dare to render quality advice that seems to put them above dimwit fat cats in high places? Rot ko, eyesore ni.

    I wonder why Dr. Doyin Okupe has not taken exception to this outright fallacy by the ACN. Yes, our policing system may not be the best in West Africa but it is definitely not the worst. All it takes for the government to prove this is to commission a high-powered committee to understudy policing in the sub-region; submit a report to be examined by another white-paper drafting committee; and leave the razzmatazz of the great findings to Minister Labaran Maku to handle! For a man who conveniently maintained a permanent smirk on his face while announcing a magical 80 per cent daily electricity supply in all the nooks and crannies of Nigeria in 2012, dabbing the police rot with sweet-smelling fragrance should be a piece of cake for Nigeria’s innovative Information Minister! Even if the result turns out to be negative, I doubt if that should be a veritable ground for making a “calculated attempt to damage the image of an administration’s” transformation agenda?

    And so, Mr. Jonathan was right on point for lashing out at those whose calculators only work to perfection whenever the subject was an assessment of his performance in government. His riotous outrage is not without validation. Why were those cameras not focused on the millions of jobs that have been created since Jonathan became President? Why can’t the affected television station zoom its camera on the smiling faces of in-patients at our hospitals as they receive qualitative treatment from doctors who no longer go on strike? Why, for crying out loud, can’t they run a documentary on the historically unique state of our public schools and juice it up with the stories relating to the world standard graduates that we now bake here at home? Didn’t they know that parents no longer send their children to Ghana and Togo for secondary and tertiary education? Have they not seen the high reduction in the money being wasted on medical tourism? Were they not there when the First Lady visited Iginla Hospital for medical check-up only to make a brief shuttle to Wiesbaden, Germany to collect the result? How about the transformation of Nigeria into an investors’ paradise in the face of explosive insecurity? Why are these ungrateful Nigerians courting the rage of Jonathan by directing their camera lens on the activities of a ‘local terror group’ called Boko Haram, an insignificant institution like the police college or the corruptive tendencies of some bad apples in high places?

    Why are they drawing the President’s ire needlessly? Why are these persons confusing our rulers since it is mutually agreed that they are yet to be blessed with true leaders. They make all the right noise about voters’ power but hardly make wise use of it on Election Day. They sell their votes for a pot of porridge and still have the balls to demand for accountability from the one who bought their conscience. They want to eat their cake and still have it as takeaway.  Why can’t they understand the unwritten code of the deadly game and join the bandwagon of those who applaud blind larceny. Why can’t they settle for the usual crumbs and watch as the nation slides further into egregious rot? Why?

  • The gentle touch of dew…

    The gentle touch of dew…

    This song is lamentably sweet. It is about the anguished

    laughter of a lost rhythm. Its soulful tune soothes drop

    lets of fitful tears. It captures love, fate and faith in cinematic flashes. Its cry of joy is soaked in blood and that marks the beginning of the bond. But, like every other thing, the bond was bound to be broken someday. While it lasted, there were moments to cherish. There were memories you wished could be wiped off. And then, you crave for the broken bond to be rekindled even if you knew it was clearly an impossibility. At least, not the way you would want it. Bound within the riddle of every life is the mystery debt called death. It’s the cross we all hate to bear. The great writer, Williams Shakespeare, captures it all when he writes: “It seems to me most strange that men should fear, seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come.”

    We may claim to be stoic, strong-hearted and unshaken by the self-inflicted tragedies around us. Yet, in life, the things that hurt us most do not necessarily come with violent eruptions. Sometimes, it comes in the form of the painful sensation that one feels at a dawn encounter with the soft touch of dew. You just can’t help having that feeling that something must have gone amiss. And then comes a rush of emotions. Do you bury the pain you feel in laughter? Do you pour it all out in tears? Do you take it with stoic candour and surrender to the will of a power too high for human comprehension? Or do you take the easy way out by blaming it all on a system that has failed to cater for the health of the millions who daily crave for the simplest of Medicare? No, that is an escapist route meant only for cowards.

    Someone said you never know the value of what you have until you lose it. Personally, the reality dawned on me last Sunday when I braved the odds to visit the morgue. It was one visit I wished never took place. At least, not that early. But then, fate has a way of playing its cruel trick on us. I just needed to reassure myself that it was all over on this side of the divide. That the prayers that sifted through the phone in muffled tones were actually her very last; our very last conversation. How could she have done that to those that loved her most? Why the hurried goodbye after a prayer that seemed endless? Those were the questions that agitated my mind as I reminisced over Ola Rotimi “s immortal paradox: “It is not the hard beat of rain that hurts, it is the gentle touch of dew.”

    She was never a boxer. She was just a simple woman who craved, cried and prayed for the best for her children. But when she delivered her first and only punch, it was devastating. It is the kind of sucker punch that death unleashes. It strikes when we least expected. It drives the nail of sorrow deep into the marrow. And so, few days after I received the great news that she was on the path to recovery, death struck! In that lone strike, it took away nature’s priceless gift to Knucklehead—my mother. To be frank, I braved for the worse having seen her daily battle to get off that sick bed. I’d always known her to be a fighter and hoped the present battle would soon give in to her superior power; her inner strength. Well, death won. It just snatched her from us, turning those great moments we once shared with her into memories.

    At first, I embraced laughter. I thought its cathartic effect should be soothing balm needed at this moment of gloom. That no matter how deep the pain, it was my time to be a man. Why then should the man in me die? Where were the teardrops coming from? Why the sudden rush of salty water down my face when I just encouraged my siblings to hush the wailing and get kicking with burial plans? Where is the man in me? And then, I remember….the gentle touch of dew. Oh, how it hurts.

    And so, as I prepared to confront my worst fears at the morgue, I couldn’t help but notice the eerie silence that pervaded the environment. So, this is where it all ends! A temporary occupation of a chilly vault and then…the interment. How I wished those stealing us blind in Abuja and other state capitals can see the folly in it all with a slight glimpse of this temporary storeroom of the dead. Oh, how I crave for that day when those making mundane living such a hellish inconvenience for the poor would realise that, in the final analysis, all the huffing and puffing over who steals the most from the public till ends up in vanity. Death, the grim ripper, is a leveller.

    In that quietude, I saw peace. There she was breathless, stone-cold. All that is left are memories. Memories of selfless motherly sacrifice. Her admonitions. Her words of wisdom. Those nights when she would gladly whip the devil out of any erring child of hers. How about the tough punishments? What of motherly prayers? There were also countless moments of mutual laughter, of jokes and silly pranks sprung from childish mischief. The gentle touch of dew…Oh, how it hurts!

    That was all I could remember about Maami as I drove out of the Olabisi Onabanjo Teaching Hospital morgue. She was returned to the vault. I left her in peace knowing that a chapter of my life is now closed. My beginning was in her hands and now, she has become part of my history. Interestingly, I could not recall a single moment when her whipping into line surpasses the unkindest cut inflicted by the gentle touch of dew on December 26, 2012.

     

    When this life of mortal breath goes through the portals of Death to the Elysian Fields, a gentle dew of literary inspiration also comes. With those we love, death sometimes comes with strange wisdom and deeper perspectives of life. Harriet Beecher Stowe whose book, “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” energized the anti-slavery movement in America during the 1850s once noted that “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” Thomas Campbell thoughtfully concluded that “To live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die.”

    An unknown author’s words condoles people in my situation:

    “Love is stronger than death even though

    It can’t stop death from happening,

    But no matter how hard death tries

    It can’t separate people from love.

    It can’t take away our memories either.

    In the end, life is stronger than death.”

  • Obasanjo, ailing governors, warts and all

    With the way former President and former Chairman, Board of Trustees of the Peoples Democratic Party, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo, has been rabidly going for the jugular of  some persons in recent times, Knucklehead is tempted to ask: what exactly does the ‘Ebora of Owu’ desire of his party leader, President Goodluck Jonathan? It is amusing really that Obasanjo, of all persons, could be the one selling the good governance carrot to a man he played a key role in foisting on the nation,, having certified him prim, fit and proper for the highest office in the land! Some have said the gloating and ranting could just be the early signs of a brewing and potentially dangerous disagreement between a political godfather and a son who craves for space to be his own man. Others have linked it to the dramatic horse-trading and intrigues that usually herald the fiery political season as we inch towards 2015.

     Whatever the case, there is no hiding the fact that Mr. Obasanjo is throwing dirty punches and ferociously baying for blood. Over what? For now, the picture is quite hazy. Yet, we need to understand him with specific reference to the insight he has brought into the matter concerning how well Jonathan has fared as Nigeria’s leader. Like I once wrote, we need to probe deeper when a man who once risked whatever was left of his pedigree to swoon all over Jonathan suddenly transforms into the most notable critic of that same person. There lies the irony in the famed romance between Obasanjo and Jonathan.

     Before, the criticism was measured and subtle. Now, the gloves are off. It appears this ex chief enforcer of all manner of whimsical rules during his tenure as Chairman, Board of Trustees of the Peoples Democratic Party, cares less about settling differences through the party’s dubious ‘family affair’ mechanism. He is well at home with throwing stones from the glass house. In the last few weeks, Obasanjo has barely fallen short of explicitly describing Jonathan as a failure. Here, I do not merely speak of his body language but also his unabashed description of how the one he so much trusted has derailed, plunging Nigeria into a harvest of unmitigated misery. If those words had been uttered by a member of the opposition, the President’s camp would have been quick to dismiss such as the ranting of an ant (apologies to the late Dr. Chuba Okadigbo). But coming from a man that hardly forgives even a best friend’s infractions no matter how insignificant, I guess Jonathan would have to do more than not giving a damn to the damning verdict of a man that plotted his way into Aso Rock!

     Asked in a recent Cable News Network (CNN) interview if the President had done enough to tame the Boko Haram insurgence, Obasanjo quipped: “To deal with a group like that, you need carrot and stick. The carrot is finding out how to reach out to them. When you try to reach out to them and they are not amenable to being reached out to, you have to use the stick.”

     Castigating Jonathan for “just using the stick” in an effort to track down members of a sect that has doubled its sponsorship both locally and from “other organisations from abroad”, Obasanjo dropped another bombshell—the rate of corruption under the Jonathan government is jaw-dropping and not much is being done to tackle it. Ouch! That was about the third time in three weeks that the retired Army General would be hitting the nation’s current Number One citizen below the belt or, properly put, whacking him under his fedora.

     But before Obasanjo runs away with the prize, we need to ask questions. When, for example, did Obasanjo come to the realisation that adopting the carrot and stick method does not necessarily translate into a weak Presidency? Could it be after the callous massacre in Odi in November 20, 1999 where a whole community was wiped out on his order, over allegation that 12 policemen were murdered by a gang near the Ijaw town? Or could it be in October 2001 when irate soldiers invaded Zaki Biam, Benue State, and turned it into a killing field? Has he suddenly forgotten that the reprisal attack left over 200 people dead in a killing spree that spared no civilians, be they young or old? Even in his political battles both within and outside the PDP, how many of those perceived enemies did Obasanjo taunt with the carrot only to smash their heads on the concrete floor? Let him ponder over these questions.

     The Special Adviser to the President on Media and Publicity, Dr. Reuben Abati, hit the nail on the head when he hinted that Obasanjo could be suffering from some sort of amnesia. Or was it not the same man who, few months back, tutored Jonathan on the need to apply the Odi/Zaki Biam method in tackling the Boko Haram terrorists? Why then the sudden appearance of the carrot in his discourse? Just this piece of advice: next time he takes the step to whip Jonathan into line, Obasanjo should be mindful of that aspect of criticism that he could hardly stand as a sitting President—constructive criticism!

     Of course, he might be the perfect example of the kettle calling the pot black. Yet, you can hardly fault Obasanjo’s summation that: “Boko Haram undermines security, and anything that undermines security undermines development, undermines education, undermines health, undermines agriculture and food, nutrition and security.”

     Having made that salient point, we need to return to where the shoes actually began to pinch us. At the heart of Nigeria’s seeming intractable problems is the monster called corruption. And we ought to be concerned if no less a personality than Obasanjo says it has become worse under the nose of the current man at the helm.  It is that bad that even prominent Nigerians have linked the Boko Haram menace to a sickening corruption that continues to breed the poorest of the poor as a majority segment of the Nigerian population with its stunningly affluent elite minority. It is a reality that obviously does not sit well with those in government circles. That’s the crude fact!

     I have no doubt that we are a rich country with the largest population of the poor. After over 50 years of nationhood and 99 years of amalgamation by Lord Lugard, Nigeria can hardly boast of a robust health institution for its citizens. Its elite, politicians and oil magnates spend billions of dollars on medical tourism, acquisition of private jets and such other ultra-luxurious fancies annually. Today, three state chief executives are receiving treatment abroad while what ails them is shrouded in secrecy. Another one was said to have recently returned from a hip replacement surgery in Germany. Many others are in India for one medical examination or the other. It is rare to come across a top executive in the country that does not go for ‘routine’ medical check-up abroad. Not even Obasanjo! Not Dame Patience Jonathan either!

     Question is: if our healthcare system suffers this terminal illness, why should anyone expect the country’s affairs to be in good shape? The crying truth is that Boko Haram is a recent phenomenon, which has introduced a dangerous dimension to a general malaise that undermines the nation—unmitigated corruption. And if Jonathan must save Nigeria from falling head on into deeper crisis as it is wont to, he must resist the temptation to join the ranting train. He should sit his bum down and find a way through the web of failures. Need I add that he should save us that publicity stunt which tends to suggest that most Nigerians eat beter quality food than he does. In fact, he needs to eat well in order to have the energy that the tasks before him demand. The darts being directed at his Presidency, we must tell him, can only stick if he keeps on nibbling at his fingers while the nation bleeds to death! Or does he want Obasanjo to have the last laugh like he had always done in the past?

  • Of resolutions and attitudinal change

    An English language proverb and nursery rhyme that originated around 1700 and remains relevant today is this: “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride”. It is usually used to suggest that it is useless to wish and that better results can only be achieved through action. Nonetheless, it is interesting that at last, our President Goodluck Jonathan has decided to brush off the lethargy of a criminally slow yet unsteady approach to governance with a New Year resolution to “move very fast.” Some say the tiger cannot change its colour. However, for a government that has spent so much quality time wagging its tails of indolence for over two years, it is a heart-warming news even though many citizens doubt its credibility.

    Of course, it is too early in the day to take the President’s words for what they should connote ordinarily. For, if we must be plain with the truth and lay facts bare, Nigeria cannot be said to be at this sorry state for lack of knowing what to do in kick-starting its development. Instead, Africa’s largest gathering of black people is perennially underdeveloped because of its misfortune of having leaders who continually refuse to walk their talk. They simply lack both the kind of vision and the sense of mission that other leaders have employed to turn their countries around.

    Majority of them are too self-conceited to appreciate that leadership is not just about greed, amassing wealth, ruling by the whim, hounding down opposition voices and pandering to the wishes of court jesters who make the sycophancy industry thrive far much more than the manufacturing industry in Nigeria.. Don’t ask me for the evidence because they are scattered around you!

    Perhaps, no other person could have put it better than the country’s longest serving head of government, President Olusegun Obasanjo, who while lamenting the present state of affairs in spite of the abundant natural and human resources equally rued the dearth of focused leadership in this flawed journey to nationhood. You might say Obasanjo is the least qualified to talk about the place of noble deeds and high ideals in our nation as he remains an integral part of the problem. But, in moments such as this, we will be making a grave mistake if we shift attention to the messenger instead of looking at the essence of his message. The point is: Obasanjo was not saying anything new when he said the nation’s resources continue to be mismanaged over the years and that we are yet to be blessed with “good people” with the right frame of mind to get Nigerians out of this morass of penury and want. And we surely need not ask Obasanjo if the present occupier of Aso Rock, his chosen man, meets his definition of a good leader. Even Knucklehead can hazard a guess as to what his response would be in spite of his seeming optimism that God will endow us with “good people who will be able to manage it. It (the leader) will come, maybe later. But the earlier we are there, the better and I am sure we will be there.” We can hope that Obasanjo was not talking about the god which would have dashed him tenure elongation if he had wanted it!

    It is obvious that Nigeria is in a quandary today because most of its leaders would rather chose to live in self-denial rather than confronting the problems headlong. We had thought Jonathan would be different but he has proved us wrong. It is quite difficult to place him. Some have even argued that His Ph.D has neither translated into elevated thinking nor deep intellectual analysis and resolution of governance challenges. He is neither a lion nor a dove. Simply put, he is just there! His knack for dribbling around issues and sometimes grasping for words even demeans the potency of that largely unscrupulous, non-populist politics of dribbling that our famous gap-toothed military President was known for. And because President Jonathan has said quite a truckload of other ‘sweet things’ that were never vigorously pursued, it becomes difficult for anyone to rely on his vow for the year. People still wonder what kind of magical wand would propel such a man to transform from the annoyingly slow to the furiously fast in 2013. What could have jolted him to the realisation that something urgent needed to be done about the general decay in the system and crying lull in basically all sectors of the economy? Or do we take it as yet another cheap political talk that has become an annual ritual?

    If Jonathan desires to be taken seriously, then he must first put an end to his persistent shadow-boxing with the realities on the ground. His job as President, I must point out, is not to find excuses for the systemic rot and shift the blame. His job is to fix the problem and set the country on the path of progress. That was what he promised and that is exactly what we expect. It is only when he understands this that he will stop living in self-denial. It is, to say the least, shocking that Jonathan could not make any sense out of the general belief that corruption is at the heart of Nigeria’s problems including the poor state of the death traps called roads in Nigeria. In canvassing for attitudinal change by all sundry, the President assumed that every other thing would shape up. But we do know that it is not that simplistic.

    Hear him: “If Nigerians would change their attitude, you will realise that most of these issues being attributed to corruption are not caused by corruption. Recently, I met with officials of the Federal Road Safety Corps who told me that they had discovered that majority of the road accidents are recorded on good roads. So you can see it is not a matter of corruption, it is an issue of the people’s attitude.”

    Do we then take it that road users in this country are safer on the bad roads and all they need do is a change of attitude that will enable them cope with the potholes and craters as they snail their way to their destinations? Is it right to assume that all the billions of Naira that have been spent on reconstruction, rehabilitation and repairs of these roads have been judiciously used? Would a change of attitude translate into an automatic end to the countless deadly accidents on our roads or the brazen criminal acts carried out on these roads?

    Still on attitudinal change, the first set of people that should cultivate that culture is the Nigerian elite. If only the kleptocratic elite class who constitutes a tiny minority can keep their greed in check and become committed to the goals of genuine, people-focused development, it would be quite easy to untangle the nation’s problems. There are far too many people in government today who lie through their teeth without betraying any emotion. For example, on a day the President was making a vow to make an appreciable improvement on his abysmally low record in key sectors including power generation, security, job creation, health and education, the Minister of Information and National Orientation, Mr. Labaran Maku, was busy tying truth to the stakes all in an attempt to ‘doctor’ his prinicipal’s performance in 2012. For Maku, it was lying made easy as he told reporters that a survey, which was carried out by his ministry, indicated that “there is an average of about 15 to 18 hours per day of constant power supply to different parts of the country!”

    Ha! Oga Maku, where was that outrageous data coming from for Heaven’s sakes? Ok, can you give us survey on the number power generators that were rendered redundant in 2012 as a result of this magical improvement in electricity supply? Aside the fact that it was incredulous that a ministry that serves as the government mouthpiece carried out a ‘survey’ on power generation, distribution and transmission in the country without citizens’ knowledge, Maku ought to have known that certain things are better left unsaid. That he lies with such aplomb does not in any way make him a good or loyal minister. More so, we are concerned that this kind of barefaced, high level lying does not augur well for a President that truly craves to make a difference in 2013.

    Be that as it may, it will be interesting to see how far the President cango in walking his talk this time. We do recollect that he had spoken so passionately about transforming the country in the past and had explained that a meticulous fixation to “doing things right” could have been responsible for the pathetically slow motion without movement. Evidently, not much was achieved in a period when our leaders hug the skies in private jets and chartered choppers while Nigeria’s famished roads swallow thousands of ordinary citizens. Now that he wants to take the fast lane, we can only ask God to give him the wisdom to apply the brakes when necessary before he drives us over the cliff!

    It is one thing for the President to promise the nation a better deal in 2013 and it is another thing for him to personally imbibe the kind of attitudinal change that would see him and his men putting their hands to the plough. When leaders start seeing leadership from the prism of selfless service, then it becomes easier for them to abide by their resolutions. For Jonathan, the challenge before him is to show to us, in words and deeds, that he is eminently qualified to be described as a ‘good leader’ with a vision to “meet the yearnings of the people and raise the quality of life.”

    True, we may not know how far he can go in the next 12 months. What we do know is that history anxiously waits to score him on the targets he has set for himself in the areas of security, roads construction, power supply, upgrading of rail network, employment generation and wealth creation. I am sure he knows that his end of the year performance will not be based on the scorecard released by those who have made such a dubious virtue out of lying but rather on the number of Nigerians that would have truly experienced transformed change in their living conditions. The countdown begins now!

  • Pleasant wishes, wonky season

    Kwashiorkor Christmas? I almost picked that in view of the parlous economic situation of millions of Nigerians who can hardly scrape together a decent meal, even on Christmas or Sallah days. Yet the resilient spirit of Nigerians is robustly evident in their hopeful disposition even while their feckless leaders pillage the treasury.

    In moments such as this, you just can’t help joining the band of prayer warriors interceding on behalf of Nigeria. It is an understatement to say that our dear own native land is in turmoil. It has been hit by a bad patch of ill luck. Its breath of ‘fresh air’ is not only fouled, it is fading fast and appears to be in a mad race into oblivion. It is as if the elements have conspired against us, determined to put an end to the fake laughter etched on our faces. Dreams have been deferred, hope is under captivity. And we continue to ask the question: why? Why should the depraved minds in our midst be bent on setting the nation on fire? Why does one national calamity beget yet a bigger tragedy? Why is there so much distrust in the land? Why has governance become a joke? Why the choking corruption and vain hypocrisy? Whither our baskets of good luck? Or has the Good Lord forsaken us? God forbid! We mutter.

    As I stated in a recent piece titled “A prayer for all seasons”, when things turn this awry, faithful adherents of the universal religions continually admonish us to pray for our leaders so that they will resist the temptation to lead us astray. They tell us that rather than whine at every silly misstep they take on our behalf, we should beseech God to guide their path so that they can retrace their steps. They urge that we speak no ill of them as they are divinely chosen at that point in time. They weave all manner of religious sentiments to justify the bungling as if our collective prayer is all that is required to make a successful leader. Well, if citizens’ faith and goodwill is all that matters, this country should not be under an unending leadership crises that appear to be consistent only in the area of dismal productivity. Neither should Nigeria be embroiled in the kind of unending self-inflicted crises threatening its continuous existence as one, indivisible nation.

    To be candid, I do agree with those calling on Nigerians to pray for their leaders. Regardless of how bad we may feel about the frequency with which members of the ruling elite mis-apply and misuse power—which must necessarily include the ease with which they travel to distant shores, just to check the workings of their testosterone or brush their teeth—we owe it a duty to remind them that this silly esoteric fantasy has not stopped many of them from being crated back in golden caskets. We need to beseech God to imbue them with His wisdom so that they can put an end to the folly in spending billions of dollars on medical tourism at a time when the great icon, Nelson Mandela, successfully underwent gallstones surgery in his native South Africa.  It is a big shame that they have abandoned that which should edify us as a nation while they continue to scurry for medical attention in far-flung places. If only they can pick a cue from the South African example, how wonderful would it have been?

    Some few days back, President Goodluck Jonathan entrusted the nation’s future into the hands of God during the 2012 Holy Ghost Congress of the Redeemed Christian Church of God. He spoke of his conviction that, with God on our side, the country would overcome its present challenges. He said with his leadership style of transparency in governance, his government would do everything within its power to regain the people’s trust and “foster unity and trust.” A humble Jonathan equally gave personal testimony on the role that prayer played in his emergence as President after which he surrendered himself before the congregation for a harvest of prayers. Well, God will always do His bit for mankind. What we do not know for sure is whether the President is prepared to fulfil his own end of the bargain.

    We may not know what was going through Jonathan’s mind in his sobering presence before God, as he knelt before the General Overseer of the RCCG, Pastor Enoch Adeboye for special blessings. However, we do know the enormity of the challenges before him and the dire implication of the waning confidence in his ability to pilot the affairs of state. For, if the truth must be told, what started as a refreshing experience in governance has become a nightmare even if most of his henchmen will find the pill too bitter to swallow. We really do not need to go back in time for a recap of how we came into this mess. The details of our gradual descent into this dead end are too numerous to mention. And it would be unfair to place the blame solely on Jonathan’s shoulders even if he is yet to convince us that he could make any difference.

    Whatever the case, this is definitely not the time to play the blame game.  In this festive season, we need to seek His face to heal the wounds in our land. As we inch closer to the end of the year, we can’t help but recall the thousands of lives that have been lost to bloody attacks being perpetrated by all manner of people. It is an unfortunate reality that in recent years, the last days of the last month bring sad news of gory deaths from road accidents, armed robbery and other factors. Sadly, the tail end of this year is not likely to be different.   And as if that was not enough headaches for the government and citizens to deal with, several other innocent lives are being lost to gun attacks in banks, worship places and even on our roads. In a year when over 150 persons perished in a plane crash, it is disheartening that some of the nation’s best brains were lost in the tragic chopper crash last Saturday in the creeks of Bayelsa State. Once again, the nation recoils into mourning mood in a season of joy.

    Question is: why should we count our losses in blood and tears especially when some of these tragedies could have been avoided? Some have said we are the collateral damage of the monster we fail to tame—systemic failure. It pervades all parts of our public and private lives. They say endemic corruption is at the root of our national malaise. They say all it takes is one deadly blow against corruption and every other thing will begin to take shape. They say a callous regime of graft has not only estranged and impoverished the people; it has emboldened many to turn against the state hence the growing league of insurgents and terrorists. They say we create the monsters that now trail us to our worship places, drinking joints and work places. They say the serial rapists in government are the architects of this clear and present danger even in this season of felicitations.

    If that is the case, then we all need a higher power to stem the rage. Good enough, President Jonathan has taken the bold step to entrust our safety and security in God’s hands. But while God is at it, I guess it is not out of place to remind the President that the buck stops at his table and that millions of Nigerians look up to him to protect them as they plan to celebrate the season in an atmosphere of peace and harmony. We equally call on the Good Lord to grant him divine wisdom in his efforts to detect and weed out the termites and bedbugs in our governance system—those who have practically made it impossible for this nation to aspire and develop to its full potential. Amen.

    Maybe the day would come when Nigerians would truly begin to celebrate a robust economy and hearty Christmas in place of the pervasive gloom and wobbly Christmas that our very inept leadership has brought upon us!

    Do have a merry Christmas as you watch your back.

  • As the official tango with corruption continues…

    It is no secret that here in Nigeria, the allure of filthy lucre thrives above patriotism or populist principles in the minds and offices of most of our so-called VIPs. Public affairs analysts and anti-corruption activists would readily agree with me that the past two weeks offer a quite a sizeable amount of raw materials for them to work with. Not that there has ever been a dearth of issues begging for a lively discourse in this country of a million surprises. It just happened that the events of the past weeks clearly exposed how deep our official taproot is buried in the miasma of corruption. With our adeptly inept leadership, the current trend of mindless tango with corruption has sunk our collectively pathetic fate under the yoke of an age-long malaise. Again, when you assume that you have heard it all, something just pops up and leaves you with jaw-dropping amazement. In addition, if you had thought that some persons would have the decency to be stricken with shame, you are rudely awakened to the temerity of their simplistic defence and the illogic they push forward to justify crying incompetence. I will explain.

    When Transparency International rated Nigeria as the 35th most corrupt nation in the world, it was quite easy for the different echelons of our sometimes-unimaginative government spokesmen to warn critics against linking the low rating to the President Goodluck Jonathan administration. That swan song was particularly couched in different lame languages by the trio of Labaran Maku (Minister of Information), Doyin Okupe (Senior Special Assistant on Public Affairs) and Olisa Metuh (National Publicity Secretary to the behemoth called the Peoples Democratic Party). In their reasoning, the TI’s rating could only have come from a perception that was highly influenced by warped media report of the happenings in and around government. This perception, they argue, is far from the reality in which the Jonathan government is sworn to a fight-to-the-finish with corrosive corruption. We were also reliably informed that it was one battle the government is poised to win, going by the “impressive strides” that have been made through its “anti-corruption efforts.”

    And when the opposition parties demand a listing of the strategies which the PDP-led government claimed to have put in place after it inherited a “deprecate societal fabrics” in May 29, 1999, they would rather see it as an attempt to “slur the integrity” of the government yeomen battling against corruption!” Yet, Metuh gleefully reminds us of the institutional framework they have put in place. They claim their own transparency merely for allowing the existence of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission; the Independent and Corrupt Practices Commission (sic); the Freedom of Information (FoI) law; the conduct of free and fair elections and; the ‘enabling environment’ under which members of the National Assembly now carry out their oversight functions.

    However, I must admit that Metuh was dead right in tactfully acknowledging that their trumped up shallow claims over prevalent corruption has a hollow core: “Though we are making no claims to having stamped out corruption, we insist that appreciable progress is being made. Yes, there is corruption but corrupt persons know full well today that the loop of the long arm of the law is not in any way broken; that questions must come up if not immediately, definitely later.”

    It only took a few days before news of the arrest of Aminu, the son of PDP juggernaut and governor of Jigawa broke. Young Aminu was caught trying to surreptitiously export thousands of US dollars to Egypt.

    It was not surprising either that Okupe would rather blame Nigeria’s very sorry rating on the corruption perception index on the growing cynicism in the land. The ‘attack lion’ blames it all on some category of persons who “have taken upon themselves to mislead Nigerians by making unfounded and baseless allegations against this administration”. Okupe went further: “In the main, the strategy of these cynics, ‘latter-day saints’ and emergency activists has involved peddling falsehood on the true state of the government’s war on corruption, among other issues of national importance. They have posited that contrary to what government would have Nigerians believe, that the present administration is not pulling its weight in the war against corruption. They have even gone as far as suggesting that President Jonathan lacks the political will to engage corruption head on.”

    What did Maku, a member of their not-so-noble cohort say? The ludicrous ‘logic’ from the official megaphone of our irredeemably corrupt government was to blame the perception on Nigerians who were always eager to tell the world how bad the country has underdeveloped itself through graft! Pray, what was he expecting us to do? Turn a blind eye while the looting goes on? Or, chew sand, saying nothing while their government pillages the treasury?

    We may ignore Metuh’s chicanery of lumping politics with issues of urgent national attention. What cannot be glossed over is his wacky understanding of what qualifies to be termed ‘appreciable progress.’ We do appreciate the fact that any sinking under-performer reserves the right to lay claim to empowering the EFCC or the Independent Corrupt Practices and other related offences Commission (ICPC) without any interference. However, such perception distracts from the reality, as it has become public knowledge that those wielding the power of state do employ the services of these anti-graft agencies to witch hunt perceived political foes or whip them into line. It is for this reason, more than any other thing, that majority of the Nigerian populace perceive these agencies as little more than mere appendages of those in power. And if Metuh is in doubt, let him ask questions on how Prince Vincent Ogbulafor’s file at ICPC became a tool that was used to remove him from office as chairman of the PDP for daring to insinuate that the chair of then President Umaru Yar’Adua was not vacant for any candidate from the South, even if the inevitable happens! Inevitably, the EFCC swiftly walked to the tune of its puppeteers and recovered from a seeming memory loss by dusting up an alleged money laundering file involving Chief Wale Babalakin and James Ibori just after the latter declared readiness to challenge how his Lagos/Ibadan road concession deal with the government was revoked. Does Metuh know how many of such files are being kept in view for future use by those claiming to fight corruption?

    The point is: we must put an end to the self-imposed delusion of grandeur under which this utterly corrupt government praises itself and its corrupt army of kleptocrats for fighting corruption or winning the battle against it. We must go beyond the splattering of empty verbiage. How does the government expect Nigerians to project the country in good light when the Chairman of the EFCC, Ibrahim Lamorde, recently lamented that over N14bn – probably a tiny fraction of looted funds – was laundered out of Nigeria as liquid cash between January and August this year alone. Aside from those funds seized from amateur couriers at the airports, only God knows how much professional launderers have spirited mind-blowing, dizzying, humongous figures out.

    Would Maku’s angst against Nigerians be assuaged if the media had chosen to blank out the report that N195bn of Nigeria’s pension funds had grown wings and could not be traced? Would they rather wish that we look the other way while they appropriate billions of Naira to service their bloated egos and that of their hangers on? Is it just a question of perception or a deliberate attempt to obfuscate a malady that Nobel Laureate, Prof. Wole Soyinka, described as Nigeria’s unifying factor “being played to our national lifestyle instead of treating the cankerworm with utmost disgust?”

    One thing is clear: this tango with corruption portends grave danger for all of us irrespective of our political affiliations, tribe or religion. There is nowhere in the world that it has been fought with tendentious political jabs. For now, this is all we see. As someone recently said, “Kleptocrats have been running the show and their predilection for thieving and bribery has poisoned the nation.”

  • Ode to a bleeding nation

    That Nigeria bleeds on all fronts is not debatable. What surprises many is its almost inelastic capacity to suck in all the deadly punches, wobbling still, under the crushing effects of the multiple fractures sustained over the years. They just cannot understand how it manages to survive the endless pummeling from capricious elements and odious circumstances within and without. It is confounding that a nation that trudges on, on worn-out crutches, still puts up the fractured and sorry image of one indivisible entity united by a common creed. But then, national unity is the ideal. Unfortunately, idealism becomes a façade when confronted with reality. Therefore, regardless of the pretence to nationhood, this nation is being bled to death by our actions and inactions. True, this house may not have fallen yet; it is definitely not standing on a solid foundation and, from the look of things today, it is not also treading the path to recovery.

    Question is: should this 52-year-old toddler be perennially on the sick bed? The answer is not that far-fetched. Its journey to greatness has been blighted by three key factors—corruption, ethnicity and religion—all in no particular order. Unfortunately, the hawks of power, forever keen to impoverish the entire citizenry, are exploiting these factors. Greed of the rotten hue is at the heart of the underdevelopment of Nigeria. In addition, that problem is not helped by the fact that most of our rulers, both past and present, shamelessly wear their primordial and ethnic sentiments on the collars of their flowing garments. Of course, their tribesmen and kinsmen often excuse the larceny; it does not preclude the fact that poverty has no ethnic coloration, creed or language. It is a universal plague that dehumanises the populace.

    It is quite a daunting task to come up with the exact amount that has been pilfered from our national till since ‘kleptocrazy’ became the directive principle of governance. Various figures are being bandied around the public space. However, we should be sufficiently angry that, years after the military reluctantly handed over power to a democratically elected government after creaming off trillions of naira without being questioned; successive administrations have not fared any better. And because the long arm of the law seems too short to rein in those responsible for this ‘Authority Stealing’, those opportune to get close to the public treasury have become more brazen in the art of scientific looting in modern times.

    If the late General Sani Abacha could, in his six-year reign as Head of State, launder $700m (about N112bn) to various accounts in Switzerland, we should be more than interested in knowing the quantum of public funds that have found their ways into such foreign accounts in opaque jurisdictions since May 29, 1999 when politicians took bare-faced robbery to a dizzying height. We simply miss the point when we push Abacha’s image forward as the perfect poster boy for corruption in Nigeria. Would we have been bold enough to point accusing fingers at his direction if he had not gone six-foot under some years back? Why have we been pussyfooting over the need to investigate former heads of state and presidents who are still alive and kicking? Why is the state treating them as untouchables?

    Sometime ago, a former governor who was facing trial for money laundering cried out that the looted money found in his possession had been re-looted by state officials who had earlier confiscated the loot as ‘exhibits’. Till today, the public has not been told what happened to the money as the case annoyingly snails through the Nigerian legal system. The same question has been asked regarding the Abacha loot that which returned by the Swiss government to the Gen. Olusegun Obasanjo-led civilian regime. Instead of rolling out facts and figures on what his government did with the N112bn windfall, Obasanjo was quoted as saying that over $Ibn of the Abacha loot is still stashed away in Swiss banks and should be returned. We thank Obasanjo for the statesmanship and the show of patriotism in tasking the present government to reclaim Nigeria’s money. However, while at it, can he give us a list of the infrastructures that the $700m was used to develop under his watch?

    In a country groaning under the yoke of infrastructural and systemic decay, it would be a tragedy of monumental proportion if it turns out that the recovered loot has been re-looted or wasted on some irrelevant pet projects that have no direct impact on the people. In addition, we would be deceiving ourselves if we assume that the callous bleeding can continue ad-infinitum. Truth is: the country cannot take the bashing anymore. Already, it has been robbed blind and tempers are already flaring against the profligacy. Something must be done about the leakages in our finances before the country burst at its seams. All it takes is the political will to put an end to the scary rush for filthy lucre in high places. The only snag is that not many people believe President Jonathan has what it takes to halt the drift. That perception in being inflamed by the fact that his lieutenants, using the instrumentality of his office, have turned governance into one huge money-sucking machine; high on expectations, abysmally low on delivery.

    Nothing exemplifies this than the astonishing figures contained in the proposed 2013 budget and the equally shocking defence of the illegally appropriated funds by Ministries, Departments and Agencies at the National Assembly during the week. It is heart-rending, to say the least, that the Subsidy Reinvestment Programmes (SURE-P), an agency primarily set up to utilise the savings from the partial removal of petrol subsidy in January 2012, did not waste time in joining the spendthrift, penny wise pound foolish train. For an agency chaired by the highly respected Ambassador Christopher Kolade, Nigerians had expected it to be far-removed from the madness of spending millions on inanities. However, if we were to believe its submission that it spent a whopping N2.2bn on ‘secretariat services’ and N75m on local travels in just four months, we should also have the presence of mind to blame ourselves for placing a wager on the wrong horse. Our hope was fundamentally flawed right from inception. It is a big shame, too, that the SURE-P management plans spending N27bn on ‘public works for youth’ and all other sundry spend which were clearly dubious replications of the responsibilities of other agencies.

    Where then is the hope for a greater future? Who will cure Nigeria of this terminal disease? Is it in the N5bn being sought by the Minister of Culture and Tourism to develop a ‘masterplan’ for the sector? Is it in the boastful arrogance of Senator Bala Mohammed of the Federal Capital Capital Territory who informed the lawmakers that no law in the land could stop him from demolishing 31 estates built through the sweat of many suffering residents while seeing nothing wrong in setting aside N2bn to complete the palatial residence for the Vice President? In any way, what manner of mansion are these persons planning to build for the Nation’s No. 2 such that a project estimated to cost N7bn in 2009 now needs additional N9bn to complete in 2012? Are the bricks made of diamonds? Do we place our hope on the fact that Nigeria is now poised to compete with other developed nations with the plan to erect a ‘befitting’, all-purpose banquet hall worth N2.2bn for Mr. President? Is it in the depressing report that, under his able leadership, not less than N5trn has been fleeced off the system? Or, should we take respite in the Finance Minister’s confession that, in spite of all the fool-proof checks put in place, N232bn was illegally paid to oil marketers as subsidy funds while only N29bn has, so far, been been recovered? Is it in the N9bn allegedly being spent to maintain the 10 aircraft in the presidential fleet or the steady rise in the nation’s debt profile? Maybe, just maybe, we can glean a ray of hope in the truthful pronouncement by the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Hon. Aminu Tambuwal, that 50% of government’s annual revenue is spent illegally.

    If all these appropriations have not meaningfully impacted on the people’s lives, need we ask how billions of dollars find their ways to foreign lands and private vaults? Need we ask why Nigeria bleeds from the despicable act of these serial rapists? Do we require any test to verify why this young, old man still wears diapers at 52? Why do we then heckle when Transparency International ranks us as the 35th most corrupt nation in the world? Seriously, do we need to ask further questions when the unusually audacious handwritings of our rapacious VIPs are apparent everywhere?