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Tag: husband

  • ‘I always have bad dream after sex with my husband’

    The day my mother-in-law took our first child out to relieve me of the stress of our new baby, that was the day our daughter became deaf. When we visited several churches, they asked after my husband and his mother. If I really knew my husband, I wouldn’t have accepted his marriage proposal. “

    These were the words of a middle-age trader, Shola Abdullah, as she sought the dissolution of her eight-year-old marriage to Lanre, at the Alagbado Customary Court in Lagos.

    She alleged that her husband was fond of beating her.

    Mrs Abdullah said: “My husband and I are strangers in our home. We have never had a cheerful moment. Whenever I talk, he would rain curses on me. He accuses me of adultery. I don’t know his plans for me because I am treated as a slave. His attitude is weird. Whenever he sleeps with me, I always see myself vomiting a gecko in my dream. Strangely, I always wake up with a swollen stomach. He once took me home during a church service only to sleep with me and later dropped me off at the church. It’s been a month since I left home. Am not missing anything because we don’t relate well.”

    The marriage, which was contracted under Native and Customary Law, is blessed with three children.

    But her husband is insisting on the marriage. Abdullah told the court: “My mother didn’t do anything to our first child. We were told our first child had measles which made her deaf. I have had to buy a hearing aid worth thousands of Naira. My wife has never supported me. I opened two shops for her but she couldn’t maintain it. Whenever there is an argument, she leaves the house leaving me with our children. I have never sent her away. I want her back. I have never accused her of adultery.

    “The court’s President, Mr. Olubode Sekoni, ordered Abdullah to write an undertaken never to maltreat his wife again.

    He adjourned the case till January 22.

  • ‘My husband is a thief, fake pastor’

    A 36-year-old woman has described her husband as a thief and fake pastor, pleading with the court to dissolve their nine-year-old marriage

    Mrs Adeola Imafidon told the Alakuko Customary Court in Lagos that her husband, Sunday Imafidon, had become a disgrace to her.

    Mrs Imafidon, a laboratory scientist, said: “My husband is a fake pastor, thief and womaniser. He has been arrested over six times for defrauding people. I am always embarrassed each time I go to bail him. My health is suffering a great deal. When I talk a lot, my heart palpitates. I have always endured because of our children.

    “He doesn’t cater for our children let alone pay our house rent. Currently, we live with my mother. I can’t remember the last time he sent our children’s monthly allowance.”

    She added that they had not slept with each other for three years.

    ‘’He once beat me and pushed me towards a moving vehicle. I’m tired of his repulsive attitude. I don’t want to die; please dissolve our marriage,” she told the court.

    Forty-four-year-old Imafidon said he duped people in order to satisfy his wife.

    ‘’When I had a job, my wife never complained of anything or my character. But since I lost my job, my wife’s attitude changed. I was forced to borrow money from people but I get arrested whenever I don’t refund their money.

    “It is true she has been responsible for the children’s upkeep. The last time I slept with her was two months ago at a hotel – not three years. If I wasn’t a good husband, we wouldn’t have children. I still love my wife and I promise to turn a new leaf if our issue is resolved,” he said.

    The marriage is blessed with two children.

    The court’s President, Chief Awos Awosola, asked Imafidon if it was befitting for a pastor to take his wife to a hotel to sleep with her.

    He pleaded with Mrs Imafidon to consider her husband, following which there was a 30-minute recess for the couple to have a private talk; but the wife insisted on dissolution.

    Awosola dissolved the union and ordered Imafidon to be responsible for the children’s school fees. He will also provide N10,000 monthly for their feeding.

  • My husband is irresponsible, alleges athlete

    A 32-year-old athlete, Mrs Pauline Ukah, has sought the dissolution of her marriage of nine years to her husband, Ukah Charles, before the Customary Court, Alagbado, a Lagos suburb, over his alleged irresponsible attitude.

    She also accused her husband of forcefully taking away their only son under the pretext of taking him to his hometown.

    Mrs Ukah told the court: “Four days after our wedding, my husband started attacking me physically. For the next five years, I endured the pain, thinking he would begin to treat me as his true love. Even when my husband got a job, he still didn’t make any meaningful contribution to our upkeep. I had to obtain a loan to complete our house. I have been solely responsible for the upkeep of our children. Most of the time, I would go on commercial motorbike from Lagos Island where I work to Meiran. But rather than empathise with me, my husband would lock the door against me, thereby making me to enter the room through the window.

    “Sometime ago, when I was duped N5 million by some con men who wanted to help us obtain U.S visa, my husband labelled me a prostitute. On that day, they asked us to put all our money and jewelry inside a box and we complied. But that was the last we heard of them.”

    Mrs Ukah complianed that her husband was fond of charms. Till date, I don’t know why he buried his singlet in the house. When my husband was under some spiritual attacks and all he could see were reptiles, I stood by him. I took him to a hospital and footed the medical bills.”

    Ukah, however, said: “Almost everything she said is true. She has been a caring wife and mother. But there is no cordial relationship with my in-laws. Since I lost my job, life has been tough.

    “Contrary to her claim, I don’t beat her. We only have misunderstanding once in a while. Each time I intend to pick our children for holidays, her mother chases me with a cutlass.”

    “It is a taboo in my tribe for a woman who commits adultery to still sleep with her husband again. My wife once confessed to having slept with a man who wanted to help us obtain the U.S. visa.

    “It was at a family meeting that they ordered me to take our only son to our home town for cleansing and I did. If only my wife can cleanse herself, she can have our son back,” Ukah told the court.

    Obviously miffed, Mrs. Ukah reacted, saying: “My husband was given four days to take our son for cleansing in his home town. It is almost a month, but my husband has not brought him back. Now, I am agitated because the boy has always been in my custody. It’s been three years since we lived as a couple. I was told to cleanse myself if I was still interested in being his wife. Since my son has been cleansed, there shouldn’t be a problem. I have never fought him over any trivial issue. I always make my intentions known to him. God knows I am fed up; so, I want a divorce. He is free to see our three children whenever he wishes.”

    The court’s President, Mr .Olubode Sekoni, fixed a chamber interview for the couple and ordered them to bring four relations each.

    He adjourned the matter till today.

  • ‘I regret marrying my husband’

    A 27-year-old clearing agent, Olateju Olalekan, has sought the dissolution of her two-year-old marriage to her husband, Olawale, before the Alakuko Customary Court in Lagos for reasons ranging from cruelty to dishonesty.

    She said: “I was in my mother’s shop when my husband prostrated and told my mother that he wanted to marry me. I was confused because I didn’t know him from Adam. After several pleas, I agreed because he appeared to be responsible. Besides,it is rare for a man to make his intentions known from the outset. My husband borrowed a huge sum of money from my parents to rent an apartment. But surprisingly, when I visited the house, I met a woman who told me she had just moved in. I was shocked because we had already put kitchen equipment in the house. I later got to know that my husband collected the money back from the landlord. I regret the day I married him.” She also told the court that her husband abandoned her when she went into labour for two weeks. She added:” My parents have been responsible for the upkeep of our child, who is almost two years old now. I only want him to refund my parents’ money.I have never felt like a married woman because I still live with my parents.”

    However, Olawale, 39, said:”Her account about our first meeting is true. Though I slept with her six times, I am not sure the child is mine because she was in another relationship when I met her. I don’t know her by the name ‘Olalekan’ because I was forced to marry her. It is true I collected the house rent back. But I didn’t refund it because I realised her parents were diabolical.”

    Olateju’s father, Mr. Akande Ogunseye, who was in court, said:”My son-in-law is a fraudster. We had to visit his family when he threatened my daughter to abort the pregnancy. On getting there, his father exclaimed: ‘This boy has done it again…’ So, I want him to refund my money.”

    The court President, Chief Awos Awosola,fixed a chamber discussion and adjourned the case till November 6.

  • The million naira husband (2)

    Give this to Lara when she returns from the bank. We are running out of these drugs,” my sister said when one evening at the pharmacy, handing me a piece of paper. Lara was the business manager cum account executive of the store who handled most of the purchases of items. I scanned the list, noting with the little knowledge of medicines I had acquired since my time at the pharmacy that a lot of the drugs were for cold, cartarrh and other respiratory conditions. Not surprising considering the weather. It rained nearly everyday and that evening, it had been pouring heavily when I arrived at the store. I put the piece of paper in my bag to give Lara later.

    “Good evening. Please I need a good cough syrup for a young boy. Can you recommend one for me?” said a customer a short while latter. My sister who usually made recommendations was at the little cubicle that served as her office at the back of the store. I went and gave her the order and shortly after, I came back with a small bottle of cough syrup from a reputable drug company.

    “He needs to take it with another drug which we don’t have in stock at the moment. Check back this time tomorrow and it will be available,” I told the man as I wrote out his bill for payment at the cashier.

    “Ok. Thanks. Will stop by on my way from work tomorrow,” the man said before leaving.Some days later, on a Saturday morning, I was at the store when the same man came in with a little boy of about five in tow. The boy immediately headed towards the fridges by the entrance that were stocked full with cold beverages.

    “I want a black berry juice,” he stated, pointing towards a chilled canned drink.

    “No, Benjy. It’s too cold,” the man said. Turning to me, he added: “He just recovered from the bad cold and cough he had recently and the first thing he wants is a cold drink!”

    I smiled down at the boy and offered him some toffees.

    “Thank you, Aunty!” he stated, popping one into his mouth.

    “Your son is so cute and polite too,” I said, patting him on the head.

    The man smiled.

    “Don’t be fooled by his angelic looks. He can be quite a handful!”

    He made his purchases and before leaving, he stood chatting for a while. I found out his name was Syl and the little boy whom I assumed was his son was actually his nephew.

    After that day, he became a regular customer at the pharmacy which also had a section for general goods like cosmetics, food, wines and other products. With time, I got to know more about him. An accountant, he had worked for one of the new generation banks for some years before the consolidation exercise a few years ago, that saw a lot of the banks going under. His bank had been among the unlucky ones and he had consequently lost his job.

    After seeking employment for sometime without success, he had decided to go solo, strike out on his own.

    “I set up an accounting firm which I run with a former colleague of mine at the bank. It was tough at the beginning but it’s getting better now as our client base has improved,” he had told me. By this time, we had become quite friendly and would often chat on phone. I could see he liked me but at that stage, I just saw him as a friend and a customer.

    Then about two months later, he asked me out. It was a house warming party of partner’s elder brother and he needed ‘a date for the evening’ as he put it.

    “What about your girlfriend?” I asked.

    “Don’t have one,” he stated.

    I wondered why a young and handsome guy like him would be without a girlfriend and he said:

    “It’s a personal choice.” It seemed he had had a nasty experience with the last lady he dated and he had decided to stay single till now.

    “Meeting you has made me realize that not all women are bitches,” he stated bluntly.

    Before accepting to go on the outing with him, I discussed it with my big Sister, Barbie.

    She had seen him in the store a couple of times though I had not introduced them. Her only condition for accepting the offer was to formally meet him.

    “I need to know the young man that is taking my baby sister out,” she stated firmly. So, a few days later, when Syl stopped by at the store, I took him to my sister’s little office and did the introductions.

    “A pleasure meeting you. Your sister has told me so much about you,” were his first words to her.

    Big Sis smiled and replied:

    “Good things, I hope.”

    “Yes. But she didn’t tell me how beautiful you are. I thought she was pretty but you are simply stunning. I wish I had met you before her…” he said, eyeing my sister who was dressed in a doctor’s white coat.

    “And what would have happened then?” my sister said a little coquettishly.

    He shrugged.

    “Anything!” he said.

    I turned and hit him playfully on the arm.

    “Syl!” I exclaimed and both of them laughed.

    I could tell that my sister liked and approved of him and that made me warm up to him more.

     

    An ancient tradition

    After that first date, Syl and I began to see each other regularly. He was fun to be with and quite caring too. With time, I met other members of his family such as Benjy’s mother who lived with him in his apartment. She was separated from her husband, a violent man who used to beat her a lot especially after drinking, Syl had told me.

    “It’s better she stays here where she’s safe than be beaten to death by that beast of a husband,” he had said when he was telling me the story of his younger sister’s unhappy marriage.

    His sister, Peggy and I were about the same age and after the initial coolness between us the first day we met, we began to get along with each other.

    Syl and I had been dating for some months when my Mum wondered when I was going to bring the ‘young man who had been taking up all my spare time’ home.

    I sighed at her words. I had not told my parents about Syl so it could only be one person who had done so: big Sis!

    “Yes,I did. And what’s wrong with that? It’s time they met him,” she pointed out.

    “Ah, Sister. You know how our parents are. The moment they see him and like him, they will start planning our wedding! I’m not ready for all that stress yet,” I stated.

    “Why not? I know you like him a lot, I can even say you are in love from the look on your face whenever he comes looking for you,” she pointed out. I could not deny that. I always felt this warm glow within me whenever I was with Syl; it was a long time I had had that feeling for any man. I felt secure with him and wanted him to be by my side always, to never leave me.

    “But he has not proposed,” I said.

    “Don’t worry about that. From the way he looks at you, I see a proposal coming soon,”she said assuringly.

    It was nearly six months later that her words came to pass. Syl proposed to me one evening after we had gone out to see some friends of his. If I had known what would come after, I would never have accepted to marry him. For things began to happen to us that I never envisaged even in my wildest dream.

    While my Dad liked Syl and was in support of the engagement, my Mum preferred I got married to one of her friend’s sons, a silver spoon kid with ‘more money than sense’ as my big Sis used to refer to him.

    “What matters is not the young man’s pocket, it’s his character we should consider. Syl seems a decent and hardworking man who will take care of our daughter. Afterall, when I married you all those years ago, we had nothing and were living in two rooms in a ‘face-me-I face you’ type building! But here we are today! Nobody knows what the future holds for him,” my Dad had argued when my mother raised objections to Syl because he was not rich like us.

    After that, we began making plans for our future. Things went smoothly until one weekend when some relatives of ours came from the village and told my Dad about an old tradition of our family, a tradition that threatened our well laid out plans…

     

    To be continued

    What is this ancient family tradition that may affect Emily’s marriage plans? Join us next Saturday for the sizzling details!

     

    Send comments/suggestions to 08023201831(sms only), psaduwa@yahoo.com or psaduwa007@gmail.com

  • My husband maltreated me during pregnancy’

    A 37-year-old woman, Oluwashola Kehinde, has sought the dissolution of her 18-year-old marriage to her husband, Moruf, before the Alakuko Customary Court in Lagos, alleging that her husband is callous and irresponsible.

    Mrs. Kehinde, a food vendor, said: “My husband started committing adultery a few months after our wedding. He sent me out of the home because I accused him of womanising. It was most saddening because I was already carrying a seven-month pregnancy then. His attitude is somewhat strange. He always blows hot and cold; he is very unpredictable. My sister, out of anger, once bit him hard because he is fond of beating me. That is the story behind the deep cut on his back.”

    She added: “At some point, I returned to his house after several pleas from his relations who assured me that he had changed. But the situation got worse as he formed the habit of disappearing from the house whenever I got pregnant. He would leave home for over two months on the excuse that he was broke. Even when he had money, he would only buy his own food and eat it alone, not minding how we survive. He is a callous man.

    “My husband once came home 12 days after he angrily left the house, pleading for forgiveness. He said if I wasn’t ready to forgive him, he would kill himself. I went to bed, thinking he was joking. Surprisingly, my husband hung himself to the ceiling fan in the room. He kicked the jerry can he stood on and urinated on his body. By that time, he was almost lifeless. So, I quickly used a knife to cut the rope before I called on our neighbours. My husband came around about 30 minutes after. Till date, I keep asking what would have happened, if he had died in the process.”

    Mrs Kehinde said they were given a quit notice when for many months, her husband couldn’t pay rent. She added: “It was at that time that he took a few clothes and left the house. For almost two years that we have lived as a couple, my husband doesn’t ask after the wellbeing of our children, thus prompting my sister to take custody of two of our children. I am tired of accepting him back. None of his relations knows what I am going through. I don’t want the marriage anymore; I only want him to cater for our children’s education.”

    However, Mr. Kehinde, a 45-year-old commercial driver, said: “Frustration led me to attempt suicide. I wasn’t happy for the fact my wife was the only one responsible for our children’s upkeep. But I give her money when I have. When I was driving a private vehicle, we never had problems and everything was almost perfect. Money is always the cause of our argument.

    “I left the house after the incident because her mum said my wife needed some respite. At times, she doesn’t give me food. Each time I sleep beside her, she leaves the bed. Contrary to what she said, there is no scar on my back.

    “The rope I used in hanging myself was the one my wife asked me to buy for the clothes line. I was psychologically tortured. But I have learnt my mistakes. I still love my wife because she has been good to me and I promise to turn over a new leaf.”

    The marriage, which was sealed under Native and Customary Law, is blessed with five children.

    The court President, Chief Awos Awosola, advised the couple to maintain peace and obey the law. He adjourned the case till October 30.

  • I still cook for my husband because I don’t want anybody to steal him for me -Lagos Dep Governor Orelope-Adefulire

    I still cook for my husband because I don’t want anybody to steal him for me -Lagos Dep Governor Orelope-Adefulire

    Mrs. Adejoke Orelope-Adefulire, who was the former Lagos State Commissioner for Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation, has been the state Deputy Governor since 2011, although she still oversees the ministry. In this interview with SEGUN AJIBOYE and MIRIAM EKENE-OKORO, she speaks about her role as a wife, her relationship with Governor Babatunde Fashola and other sundry issues. Excerpts:

    You have occupied this office for about three years now. How would you describe your experience so far as the deputy governor of a state like Lagos?

    Well, I give glory to God Almighty for the opportunity. To me, it is a divine grace, mercy and opportunity. To be the deputy governor of a state like Lagos deserves mercy and opportunity. Showcasing yourself requires you to be very hard working, because Lagos is like governing about five other states put together in terms of responsibilities, population and activities.

    Lagos State is different from other states in terms of service delivery. It is more demanding and it has pleased God to give us the opportunity to be here and I know that it was God, it is God and it will continue to be God. The ability to do our work is derived from the grace of God and that is what has been keeping me going, because you know, you can’t just explain how the work goes because it is very tasking and demanding. But if what you do keeps the people happy, then you love to do more and I thank God for being part of this success story as a member of the Lagos State cabinet.

    Serving as deputy governor is entirely another responsibility on its own. It is different from my previous job. I have more work to do now, more responsibilities to take and more activities. But God has been very wonderful. He has been my pillar of support and I thank those people that I represent and those that are giving me encouragement by mentoring me, because I believe that you should have leaders that will guide you. I am happy that God blessed me with good leaders, parents and colleagues and good supporters, and of course, the women group that I represent, as well as the children of Lagos, I cherish and love them all.

    You have combined your office as the deputy governor with that of the Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation (WAPA). What are the challenges encountered in carrying out this huge task?

    Challenges will definitely come, but the ability to turn them to success is what matters. Even when you are at home without doing anything, challenges will come, but what is important is the ability to translate the challenges into prosperity, that is what matters. A state like Lagos cannot be without any challenge. There are a lot of challenges, but God has been merciful and faithful. Working in the ministry of women affairs for eight years was very tasking, but I see it as part of me and Iam someone who loves solving problems, particularly as they relate to women and children.

    It has been part of me, because I think it is my life to help women. Nothing can stop me from this, even when I leave office, I will still continue to work for women and children. I discovered that my mother played a vital role in my life, and that is the secret of my decision to take women empowerment very seriously and passionately. Like I said, my mum played a major role in my life. I have always asked myself this question, ‘what if that woman was not empowered? What would have become of my life?’

    Again, it is an opportunity to encourage the younger ones, the girl child and the boy child, because the future would be bright for every child that is well developed. So, if we are not developed when we were young, we will not be here today. Child development, survival and protection are very important. I believe that as a child, even if you missed your way, you can easily retrace it if you have a motivator and counsellor that can take you back to the track. If for example, as a girl child you missed your way or you are pregnant, raped or something happens to you, you can come back if you have somebody that can help you. That is what we are doing in Lagos. Making a mistake is not the end of life. It is very important for each and every one of us to mentor our younger one. They too can aspire and get to where we are today and even do better than we are doing. We cannot be selfish or limit our abilities to ourselves and keep the leadership skills without sharing it.

    You are passionate about taking under-age children off the streets. What are the particular challenges facing your government in carrying out this task?

    The greatest challenge has been the ever-growing population of Lagos State. You will recall that Lagos is a cosmopolitan state, and the constitution of Nigeria allows for everybody to live wherever you choose to. When you look back at five years ago, we were able to eradicate the menace of  area boys from the streets of Lagos and I was one of the members of the team that worked on that arrangement of taking them of the streets. I am very proud to have been involved in that because it has helped to reduce the crime rate seriously. But then what happened again when we now have all those hawkers on the streets?

    The number one is that most of the people that come into Lagos came with their problems. Most of these people have not lived in a city like Lagos. But they leave their villages and come to Lagos. You should know that the primary thing they were doing in the village was hawking. So, they come to Lagos and want to do the same thing, knowing that Lagos is a land of opportunities to a lot of people, it is the America of many others. When they come, they disrupt all of our activities and they do not obey law and order because they do not even understand it.

    As I am speaking to you now, some are just entering into Lagos, some are leaving their homes now, while others are on their way to Lagos. So, as much as we don’t have the power to stop them, they will keep coming.  And again, we have not relented in enforcing the child rights law. There are many factors responsible for all this. Poverty is one; lack of compliance to the law, migration, domestic violence and lack of protection for the child are some others.

    Let me talk about domestic violence. When there is a problem in the home between the husband and his wife, the children are the ones that suffer the most. And that is why you see some of them on the roads begging. If a child is not well-protected and loved at home, he or she will most probably run away from home. So, it is important for us as parents to keep our home safe. The women should protect their homes; the husband should love his wife for the sake of the children. And again, some people are responsible for bringing children from other places to Lagos to be used as domestic servants. This is no doubt child trafficking. But they perpetrate this evil act all in the guise that they want to put the children in school or to learn a trade. But once they get here, it is about hawking.

    So, we are on them and we have a lot of people working with us. We are on the road every day trying to sensitize with the Yellow Card and rescue these children. But the major problem is that if we succeed and you get rid of them, you would have a new set of people arriving at night and we are back to square one. It is a recurrent issue, but we will continue to do what will know how to do. Our major concern is that children must be protected. You will agree with me that the danger associated with hawking is very huge. These children can be raped, kidnapped or even killed. So, the parents of those children and whoever is responsible for sending them out must know this.

    How do you explain that because you want to sell goods worth N1,000, you lose a child? I simply cannot comprehend that.  So, they must know the consequences of their action. That is the message that we are preaching to them.

    Let’s look at the skill acquisition centres. What has been the impact on the people?

    Well, we thank God for the opportunity to impact on lives. That is one of my objectives. It is what I try to do about youth development. If you look at the statistics of people that have been trained in that centre, year in year out, gender by gender to date, you would realise that it is indeed worth the while. We have tried a lot to train thousands of people and they are in four categories. A large number of them are in tertiary institutions for those who can further their education. Another category have established their own small scale businesses, while the third category are into paid employment.

    There are about three percent of them that are not using their trade and we have to analyse this, some are housewives and their husbands would not let them work, so they cannot do any major work. Some said their religion forbids them from getting loans and we cannot give them free money. But despite that, we have established a loan scheme. Some of them that we spoke to during the post-training evaluation are doing home services now, and we assist them to get complimentary cards to do their home services. We are happy that the majority of those who established their own businesses got the money from jobs they did for us by producing carnival costumes, neighborhood watch uniforms, school voluntary clubs and school uniforms amongst others. The centre is doing well and we will be graduating some people soon.

    The governor recently launched an empowerment programme. How is this different from the training being offered at the centre?

    There are two schemes in the poverty reduction strategy that we are doing. The economic empowerment programme is a routine programme of government, while WAPA started in 2006. The skill acquisition centre is for large scale training of the youths because we want them to have large scale knowledge of what they are being taught. The minimum time you can spend at the centre is six months, while the maximum is 15 months. The economic empowerment is a short term training of four to six weeks. With that, we believe that the youth have to get the technical knowledge of what they are being taught. If you are a welder, you cannot get the technical knowledge in six weeks, so also carpentry. But housewives, retirees, widows and single mothers and those that have lost their jobs can learn something in six weeks. I was amazed when I saw what they are doing. I was thinking a six-week trainee should be able to sew the usual iro and buba caftan and stuff. We introduced it, and it is working well. I was at the Surulere centre recently, you would be amazed if you see what they were doing with their hands. With determination, there is nothing difficult to do. So, it is a routine programme that we have been doing since 2006, we only scaled it up.

    The tragedy during the recent recruitment exercise of the immigration department is enough proof that there are lots of unemployed youths. So, we decided to scale up the programme. If you wait for a paid employment and it is not coming, you can start up something on your own if you acquire the skill. You can do bead stringing, tie and dye, catering or soap. For example, those people that we trained in the last programme are the ones that are now producing soap for schools in Lagos State since the outbreak of the Ebola virus. It is the same for those who make costumes. They are engaged during carnivals and other festivals. So, what we are saying is that laziness and idleness have no place in Lagos. If you can use your hands, you will get empowered in Lagos. We allow everybody to get equal opportunity, even if you are a graduate, you are allowed to come and learn there.

    Some people I know go around social events with people who tie gele for them. But I had to learn it, and since then I have been doing it myself. For more than five years now, I do my make-up myself and I don’t have to engage anybody to do it for me. People are happy about the skill acquisition training centre and they are full of praises for the government of Lagos State. It will surprise you to know that from our earlier planned figure of 5,000, we now have 12,000 trainees in the first phase, while 15, 000 people are coming for the second phase. This shows that people are happy with what we are doing to take them out of poverty so that they can support their husbands and children.

    Since the advent of democratic rule, we have had cases of deputy governors clashing with their governors. But you have had a very good relationship with Governor Fashola. What is the secret?

    I said before now that my parents brought me up very well to know what is good from what is not good, to respect elders and to be loyal and honest. Since I started my political career, those things that my parents told me have continued to ring in my ear. I was taught that I must respect my elders and leaders, and have the consciousness of not doing what I don’t want others to do to me. If I don’t want anybody to harm me, I shouldn’t harm another person. And if I don’t want anybody to insult me, I won’t insult another person too. Working together with anybody is a matter of understanding.

    One thing, which I learnt and has helped me to understand who Iam working with is that I understand my master and know what he likes and what he does not like. If I know what he does not like, I will not go near it, because going that way will lead to problem. I don’t want to live in a problematic environment. I like peace and love to work in a peaceful environment, and this has helped me this far. Of course, prayers and the grace of God, who in His mercy has been my guiding light. Besides, Governor Fashola has been a good leader, a friend and God has endowed him with wonderful leadership skills.

    What was growing up like?

    I grew up to know my father as a politician. As a child, I helped them to arrange meetings, write minutes whenever the secretary was not around. And in 1999, when Gen. Babangida banned the old breed politicians, I decided to come into politics. But my father warned me when he got to know about my decision. But eventually, after much pleading, he said I should not contest because he felt that as the child of the leader, I should not come out to contest. But after that, he called me and advised that where I was going is very important. He said you either make or mar your name. He also emphasised on honesty, hard work, dedication and positive impact, such that when you leave office you have something that will outlive you.

    So, I said to myself, that Orelope was given to my father because of his kind-heartedness and I want to be part of that beautiful story. That has been my objective, that this name, which I borrowed should not be destroyed. This echoes in my mind every time and I try to guide the name jealously. I don’t want to bring shame to my parents nor disappoint my leaders. I have a lot of people that are looking up to me and I must not disappoint them too. If you do it well, it is an opportunity for those coming behind and if not, you are sending another signal to everybody.

    How fashionable are you?

    In the course of my being a public officer, I have had to learn how to tie gele. I didn’t like to do this initially, but when it became obvious to me that I have to be tie gele, I said to myself, ‘I have set up the skill acquisition centre where people are trained. I can as well be trained to do these things. As I speak with you now, I now know how to do make-up, soap and tie and dye.

    So, what informs what you wear?

    Lagos is known for Aso ebi. So, when it is time for Aso ebi, I go with them. But I dress moderately. I don’t have any special style to be identified with.

    With your busy schedules, how often do you cook?

    I cook for my husband. That is the truth. I am the wife of my husband. The title of deputy governor is an office. I love my home and my home comes first. If I don’t have peace at home, I will not be able to work here and I don’t want anybody to steal my husband. I respect my husband and he respects me. And if you cannot manage your home as a woman, you will not be able to manage a public office.

    Men exert a lot of authorities which they got from God. And as such, they don’t need to ask permission from their wives before joining politics. But a wife must get the consent of her husband before she enters into politics. My husband consented to me joining politics, and if I have a headache in politics, I go back to him to solve it. If I don’t have his support, then it will be difficult and whatever will make him happy for me to be here, I will do.

  • ‘My husband caught me in hotel with another man’

    •She’s adulterous, man tells court

    A 40-year-old liquor vendor, Mudirat Yusuf, has told a Customary Court in Lagos that she cheated on her husband, Hakeem Yusuf.

    “Yes, it is true that my husband caught me in a hotel with another man, but we have settled it”, she told the Alagbado Customary Court, where her husband is asking for the dissolution of their 23-year-old union.

    Yusuf, a fruit seller and commercial motorcycle operator, is alleging that his wife is adulterous.

    He said: “The problem started 15 years after we got married. I hear some married women engage in extramarital sex, but I had never imagined my wife involving in such an undisciplined act. I was, however, embarrassed when my friends said they saw my wife and a man walk into a hotel.

    “On that day, I had gone to join my friends at an open bar in the neighbourhood and while we were having fun, they suddenly chorused:

    “So, you and your wife came to have some ‘nice time’ at the hotel today?” I smiled and told them that I left my wife at home with our children. But surprisingly, they said my wife had just entered the hotel opposite the bar.

    “So, I waited for over 20minutes, after which my wife came out of the hotel accompanied by one of my colleagues. She was obviously shocked to see me. So, I went back home and threw out her belongings because I was very upset. Four years after, I took her back after several pleas by her relations. I was assured she had turned a new leaf.

    “Sincerely, my wife assists me whenever there is a lull in my business, but I detest her adulterous lifestyle. My wife has never sought my help in most of the things she does. But she prefers to seek help from some other men.

    “When one of my wife’s male customers died, it was only my wife who was informed. So, she stood as the deceased’s wife during the funeral. It is even more painful when my wife says the man was just her customer, yet she wakes up every night mentioning his name, with tears cascading her eyes.

    “Recently, my wife told me she received an urgent call from her sister and I believed her. However, when I called to know her whereabouts, a man picked up the call, saying that the owner was busy. I thought I probably dialed a wrong number until the man picked up the call again, asking if I wanted my death certificate.

    “So, I think I have tolerated her enough. I am fed up with her attitude and I don’t love her any more. Our second child should be in her custody, while I look after the other three children.”

    While admitting that her husband caught her in a hotel with another man, Mrs Yusuf said they had resolved the issue, adding: “I am still pained by my customer’s death. So, once in a while, I lament his death because he came to my shop a few hours before he passed on that day. Since we got married, he has never introduced me to his relations. He doesn’t give me any allowance, but complains that I sell alcoholic drinks. He is temperamental. He once broke a bottle on my head when he saw some men in my shop, though he knows my customers are mostly men.

    “It is true that a man, who is my spiritual father, picked my call and rained curses on him. It was later he informed me about what transpired between them. I do my responsibility as a wife and I still love him. So, I don’t want this marriage dissolved.”

    The court’s President, Mr. Olubode Sekoni, advised the couple not to invade each other’s privacy and obey the law.

    The case was adjourned till October 9, for hearing.

  • My husband is irresponsible, aggressive says wife

    A 24-year-old woman, Mary Eze, is seeking the dissolution of her 10-year old marriage with Chigozie Eze, at the Customary Court in Alagbado, a Lagos suburb.

    The marriage has produced three children: Blessing (5), Favour (4) and Peace (2).

    Mrs Eze alleged that her husband destroyed her property, beat up her siblings and seized their children with the intention of taking them to his hometown.

    She said:  “Why should I inform a man who doesn’t feed me about my movement? I don’t have any source of income, but he accuses me of spending money on men. He receives my phone calls without my consent. It has been three months since we spoke to each other. He destroys anything he sees in my possession. He threatened to eject me from our home, claiming that I belong to the streets. When he knew I informed a third party about our misunderstanding, he sent me out of our home because he had warned me against it. I have been sleeping under different roofs because of my ‘bad boy’ husband. He is irresponsible. I hawk meat in neighbouring streets to pay my children’s school fees. But he has never asked how or where I got the money from. He once stripped my elder sister and beat her up because she took me in. He doesn’t respect my folks at all. So, I want my children because they are my priority.”

    Her husband broke down in tears in court, saying he was tired with his wife’s lifestyle.

    Eze said: “I am tired of my absentee wife. She is fond of moving out at odd hours. Whenever I complain, she will attempt to hit me. Surprisingly, when I informed my mother-in-law about my wife’s suspicious movements, she slapped me, saying my wife would go after other men if I continued to be jealous. In truth, I slapped her back because I did not deserve such awful treatment from her. Our third child was only three months old when my wife left with another man for eight months. I was then forced to play the role of a nanny. My landlord could not eject me when my house rent was due because I was literally handicapped within that period. It is sad because her siblings see no harm in all her deeds.

    “My wife came back claiming to have turned a new leaf. So, I took her back because I still loved her. Few weeks after, my wife’s attitude got worse. She started keeping her phone in her pants and was dressing in skimpy clothes at night, pretending to be asleep. We sleep in the same bedroom, but she is always missing in the middle of the night. My wife and her sisters are popular prostitutes at Katangowa Market. Knowing my wife sleeps on the road with other men makes me sad. She hawked for only two weeks and that was the only moment she fed me with her money. I am also tired of her movements, but I love her. I am not ready for any separation. If she continues with this lifestyle, it may affect our children. It is almost one month since my wife left home, abandoning the children to me. I need help”.

    The court’s President, Mr Olubode Sekoni, fixed a chamber interview for the couple and ordered them to bring four relations each and adjourned the matter till September 11.

  • Wife files for divorce over missing husband

    A civil servant based in Saki, Felicia Olubola has appeared before the Grade C Customary court sitting in Agodi area of Ibadan over alleged disappearance of her husband, Amos Olabiyi.

    She prayed the court to cut the nuptial knot between them tied years ago, because she hasn’t seen him since 2012.

    Olubola filed the suit on August 13, 2014 in the hope of seeing her estranged husband.

    “I feel filing this suit will make him return. I want him to show up for the sake of the children.

    “We have four children of which two are in the university”. Olubola lamented

    The presiding court president, Chief Amusa Makinde after observation, said it will be unlawful to pass judgment on a one sided account of the defendant (Mrs. Olubola).

    He however, adjourned the case till September 16 for her husband, Mr. Olabiyi to show up.