- Unto Cupid I commend this young man’s spirit over his decision to continue with Queen Damilola where the former Alaafin of Oyo stopped
Although I have been hearing about ‘elder’s meat’ since I was a child, I got to know a different perspective of it after the owner of a prominent broadcast organisation in the country used it when reprimanding one of his employees who was running after a lady broadcaster in the organisation that the media owner himself was interested in. The chairman was then married; but wanted to add to his harem. The young toaster thought he and the lady had a bright future ahead of them; they were both young and single. So, he continued to do ‘kuru kere’ with the lady, pretending not to know that their employer was also interested in her.
It was not long before he was summoned before the chairman’s one-man panel. At that point, the man thought the world was going to come down on him. But the chairman chose to be human. He made it clear to the man that the lady he was doing ‘kuru kere’ with was his proposed youngest wife and wondered where the young man got the teeth to sink into what he (chairman) called ‘elder’s meat’.
The young man could not believe that the matter was going to be that simple. He had imagined the worst, to be crowned with a sack letter, for not knowing the difference between ‘bush meat’ and ‘elder’s’ meat’. The young man apologised profusely in appreciation of the chairman’s magnanimity. I guessed he must have told the chairman, to boot, that he should cut off his head if he ever saw him again within a reasonable radius with the lady. He disappeared from his ‘oga’s’ sight, apparently with a vow to ‘sin no more’.
That was probably about two and a half decades ago.
I had thought that was the height of audacity. But I was wrong.
I have seen a more audacious young man, Habeeb Okikiola, better known as Portable. It is the same story about romance and love. There’s this saying in Yorubaland Southwest Nigeria that ‘enu kiniun lowo wa’ (money is in the mouth of a lion). Even if literally, we must have got the import of that saying. But from the story of the young broadcaster that I told earlier, and now that of Portable; it is not only money that is in the mouth of a lion: Love too. Or should I say beautiful women, and handsome men inclusive!
Or, how do you explain an employee scrambling for, with a view to partitioning, a lady in whom his employer was well pleased? Someone who not only hired him but could fire him as well, with or without notice and or benefit?
Talking about hiring and firing reminds me of one of my former bosses in those days at The Kingsway Stores on the Marina, Lagos. The woman, one Mrs Dina, would always joke with us whenever we fumbled on the job that Kingsway would first drive you away before following it up with your sack letter (Kingsway a koko le e lo ki won to fi ‘we da e duro)! God bless this Ijebu woman.
By the way, Kingsway was like today’s Shoprite. There was nothing you wanted under the sun that you would not find at Kingsway. The only difference between Kingsway and what we may call its contemporaries these days is that what we were buying there were far cheap compared with the hefty price tags we see today on many items at today’s big stores. That was, of course, a function of the strength of our currency. I remember we were buying chunky meat pie, (I mean meat pie, not potato pie) that you cannot finish two of it went for 25 kobo. It’s like two times the ones we are now buying for N350 and above apiece in some of today’s stores. But, cheap as things were even then, not everybody had the privilege of going there to buy things. That is a story for another day.
Back to Portable.
The young Nigerian singer, rapper and songwriter has done what in those days would have passed for the unthinkable: To be in love with a former queen? Not just any ‘kue kue’ queen in Yorubaland but one of the former queens of the late Alaafin of Oyo, Oba Lamidi Adeyemi, iku baba yeye! This was a man that many revered not only for his greatness, opulence, native intelligence and what have you. He was also thought to possess a lot of mystical powers. As a matter of fact, this is where precisely I am going. This is where Portable’s decision to fall in love with a woman that once found comfort in Oba Adeyemi’s arms and laps, is audacious.
I know Dami’s beauty is captivating. But when you consider the kind of aura surrounding the late Alaafin, you not only run, but flee, even if it is his queen (present or former) that is winking at you. King Sunny Ade it was who once sang that ‘to ba je odun meje ti kolokolo ti ku sile, won o bi iyalaya adiye ko lo sibe lo woran’ (even if a fox had died seven years ago, no fowl would have the temerity to go to where its carcass is for sight-seeing).
Not only has Portable decided to go on sight-seeing, he has decided to even dig deep, perhaps deeper than that, less than two years after Alaafin Adeyemi died.
I hear, rightly or wrongly, that, in Yorubaland, no one dared to marry a queen and that once the king died, his wives went into celibacy. Although I don’t know why this should be so, especially considering the fact that most kings then literally hijacked some of these women (oba gbese le), even in their prime. Whilst not suggesting that Alaafin Adeyemi commandeered Dami, the fact of the matter is that it is inhuman to expect a young lady at her age to go into celibacy so early in life. Although she once fled the Alafin’s palace in 2020, when she was about 26 years old. She later apologised publicly. This was obviously a sign that something was wrong somewhere because she was about the third queen to flee the palace then. Alaafin died on April 22, 2022. He was aged 83. ‘Ceteris paribus’, it is difficult for a lady about 50 years younger than him to find fulfillment in the union. This was even more so that she didn’t have a sole proprietary right over the Oba, he also had to satisfy the other queens. At that age? Obviously, some departments would have suffered severe damage that only a youthful and energetic man can fix.
Until Friday, I had thought it was Dami that first posted about their love life online but discovered that Portable did his earlier in August, last year, more than one year after Alaafin Adeyemi’s demise. Hear him: “I am a real human being; she is my fan from day one. But I later hear you say King don die, after king na king. If to say king never die, you no see me with her. I no dey follow(ing) person wife, that’s why dem no dey follow my wives.”
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From this statement, we know Portable is not single and searching. He already controls a harem of six wives. So, what could have made him Damilola’s favourite? That is a question one may not be able to answer. Onyeka Onwenu said it all when she sang, alongside King Sunny Ade: “this thing dey call love, e get as e be o…”
I carefully studied Dami’s post on Portable, and, from my little experience on this kind of matter, there must be something extraordinary for a woman to shower the kind of praise Dami showered on him. She says she is proud of him; that he is the most principled person she ever met, bla, bla, bla. Indeed, the former queen of Oyo town says she has no problem entrusting her all in his hands.
Indeed, what Dami said of Portable, I cannot tell it all. The journey of the heart must have got to a high gear for a lady to proclaim: “My man, my whole heart, the love of my life, I love you for everything that you are, you are the strongest and most principled person I know. I want you to know that I’m so proud of you and proud to be yours. I also want you to know that I trust you with all my heart, and I believe my heart is safe with you.” This sort of encomium, especially coming from a beautiful queen, is enough to make any man’s head swell.
Still, the question: even if Dami must remarry, why Portable? This made me to go in search of Portable’s net worth. I learnt it is about N139.5 million (equivalent to $300,000) as at 2023. I don’t think this is enough to ‘shack’ a pretty lady like Dami. I guess there are many men out there in the country who may be willing to ‘spray’ her with a substantial amount several times over to make the N140 million pale into insignificance. So, it doesn’t seem to me money played a significant role in the decision. Could those who could afford it have been so scared of treading where Portable dared to tread, for obvious reasons?
All said, I think the credit should go to Portable for his daring exploit to go get what he wanted, even if from a lion’s jugular. Not many men would be ready to go that far just to dig for love, pleasure or whatever, with a woman that ‘iku baba yeye’ once held in his mystical, royal arms.
Is this romance ‘peck and stay’ or is it ‘peck and go’? We may not know yet. But now that Portable ‘fe je n’be’! (or is he already?), I hope he has a mother with the requisite spiritual long leg to see him through this adventure?
Unto Cupid I commend Portable’s spirit.
