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  • Handling sexual perversion (3)

    Handling sexual perversion (3)

    Hello Reader, a very warm welcome to this wonderful edition of this week’s Family Forum. Last week, I examined adultery as one of the sexual perversions.  I said that adultery is any sexual intercourse by a married person with another person other than the lawful spouse.

    I equally said that an adulterer is simply a man or woman who goes into sexual relationship as a married man or woman, but does it outside of wedlock.

    Today, I will be talking on God’s view on homosexuality and His prescribed remedy.

    The dictionary defines a homosexual as one who is sexually attracted only to people of the same sex as oneself.  God defines it as an abomination.  The Word of God says: Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination (Leviticus 18:22). Yet the world is teeming with homosexuals; some churches even conduct marriages for homosexuals! They are fighting for the right to be regarded as a nuclear family.  They are everywhere: in government, on the streets, in institutions of learning, etc.

    Watching CBN’S 700 club one day, I saw a Christian woman who had been ensnared by the spirit of homosexuality (it’s a spirit you know) and who required help to break the habit.  She had suffered in secret for many years, and now needed deliverance.

    In secondary schools, youngsters are drawn into homosexual practices by cruel seniors, and their own lust.  But for whatever reason, homosexuality is of the devil.  The Word of God says: Because they do this, God has given them over to shameful passions, Even the women pervert the natural use of their sex by unnatural acts (Romans 1:26-27 (GNB).

    In the same way the men give up natural sexual relations with women and burn with passion for each other.  Men do shameful things with each other, and as a result they bring upon themselves the punishment they deserve for their wrong doing.

     

    Origin

    Where did the problem emanate from? It emanated from the fall of man.  After man fell and handed the government of the world over to the devil, the devil tried to pervert every good and perfect thing God had made. God created a means of procreation between the man and his wife.

    After the fall, man wondered what it will feel like to mate with animals and with people of like sex.  What God created to be enjoyed between the man and his wife became marred.

    Man began to seek other women outside marriage; he began to crave for intercourse with men. Unregenerated man keeps searching for new ways of living in “excitement”.  Because homosexuality is a spirit, they become chained to it and are unable to escape.

    When a man becomes born again, something happens: sin has no dominion over him any longer (Romans 6:14).  He is free to walk away, and as a matter of fact, is advised to flee from every appearance of evil.

     

    Remedy

    What is the remedy for anyone caught in the web of homosexuality?

    a. Become Born Again

    Only Christ has the remedy.  When He died on the cross, He paid the price for all sins, once and for all (Romans 6:6). God loves you, and wants to deliver you from every trap of the devil.  Homosexuality is a trap and its only recompense or reward is AIDS.  Do not toy with it, come to Jesus today and He will free you from its hold.

    b.Receive a New Mind

    •Believe that now you are in Christ, old things have indeed passed away (II Corinthians 5:17). Believe that God has forgiven you and forgive yourself!

    •Read the Bible and spend time meditating on God’s Word.  Memorize scriptures, and let them be a part of you (Psalm 119:11).

    •Pray: There is no situation that prayer cannot change.  Continue to ‘wash’ your thoughts on your knees.  For effectual prayer, you need the Holy Spirit.  Receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:26).

    •Fast: Set time aside to wait upon the Lord in a fast and consolidate your freedom.

    •Make Christian friends and spend time discussing edifying things.  Do not engage in idle talk.

    •Attend a Bible-Believing Church, where the mind of God is made known in unequivocal terms.

    •Literature: keep away from dirty novels (as long as Christ is not glorified, it is deadly), which propagate inordinate sexual acts. Keep yourself busy in the Kingdom and discipline yourself.  No one can reach your thoughts; so you, by yourself, must consciously guard your heart with all diligence.  Philippians 4:8 has an all-purpose drug.  It reads: Finally, brethren whatsoever things are true, … honest, … just, … pure, … lovely, … of good report,  … If there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

    If the steps discussed above are followed, you will receive total freedom from these deadly diseases of homosexuality and sexual perversions.

    The first and important step you need to take to be free from this immoral act of sin, is to receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. If this is your desire, then pray this prayer with me: “Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for saving me. Now I know I am born again!”

    Congratulations! You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: counselling@faithoyedepo.org; Contact@faithoyedepo.org;  Tel. No: 08141320204; 07026385437.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Making Marriage Work, Marriage Covenant, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Handling sexual perversion (2)

    Handling sexual perversion (2)

    HELLO Reader, you are welcome to another great time in God’s presence. I began this teaching last week, by looking at fornication and pre-marital sex as sexual perversions.

    I said last week, that perversion is a derogatory term for deviation from the original meaning or doctrine, that is, turning aside from what is to be normal.

    I equally said that, sexual perversion is an abnormal sex; that is, doing it contrary to God’s original purpose of it. In that teaching, I said fornication means any unlawful sexual intercourse between two unmarried man and unmarried woman, while pre-marital sex means sex before marriage.

    This week, I shall be exploring another crucial sexual perversion – Adultery.

    What is Adultery?

    Adultery is one of the sexual perversions that are eating so deeply in the world today. But what is adultery? It is simply sex between a married man or woman and someone who is not their wife or husband.  Adulterer is a man or woman who goes into sexual relationship as a married man or woman, outside of wedlock.

    This is a grievous sin in the sight of God. If any party in marriage is involved in it, it brings a curse upon the home.  The Word of God does not give room for extra-marital affairs, no matter the situation at home. Men or women who indulge in it are doing so at their own hurt. They sin against God and against their own flesh.

    If you think your wife or husband is not good enough for you and you have seen somebody better outside, I tell you, it is the devil that wants to destroy you.  The Word of God lists the various work of the flesh: Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19-21).

    If you pay good attention to all that are happening in the world today, you will find all kinds of atrocities listed out in the above scripture.  You will also discover that self and its works are the first primary things that God says will characterize the last days.  That is to tell you that truly we are really in the last days.  This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.  For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy (2 Timothy 3:1-2).

    That is self finding expression in their lives, finances, etc.  Everything about them, is self.  We are in the last days.  Men and women, don’t keep messing your lives around, by going into unholy sexual relationship.  Don’t pretend that no body knows.  God’s Word tells us that the eyes of the Lord are in every place. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good (Proverbs 15:3).

    In case you are reading this article today, and you are in that act, you must stop it! If you don’t stop it, the judgment of God will catch up with you. The Word of God says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge (Hebrews 13:4). The word ‘whore’ in that sentence simply means harlot.

    These days, you see married men following small girls of the age of their daughters.  Something is wrong with them upstairs! They have mental problem.  They are not even ashamed, they will say, they just want to keep them company. What kind of evil company are you looking for? Evil wants to destroy your life.

    You will also find a married woman running after another married man. Some of them, these days, even follow young boys of the age of their own son, just to be able to have that sexual relationship and “cool themselves down,” they say. It is so pathetic that it is becoming common. After the old women have taken young boys to bed, they now pay the young boys for the job well done.  It is a shame! I don’t care the category you belong to; but today, you must make a u-turn.

    When the Bible says God will judge, you better take it serious. Whether you are doing it professionally or at the secondary level, you must of necessity stop it. Marriage is honourable, if only the bed is undefiled.  If you must enjoy honour in marriage, you must keep your marriage bed pure.  If you defile your marriage bed, you are simply taking away the honour in your marriage.

    God’s Word says in Proverbs 6:32 that any man who goes into another man’s wife lacks understanding.  You do soto the destruction of your own soul.  You will incur a wound by it.  Even if the wound is healed, the scan remains there, not only that, dishonour is what you will get.  But today, there is restoration for you, in the name of Jesus Christ.

    You want to be born again so that your sins will be forgiven? You can say this prayer of faith and you shall be born again! “Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for saving me. Now I know I am born again!”

    Congratulations! You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: counselling@faithoyedepo.org; contact@faithoyedepo.org;  Tel. No: 08141320204; 07026385437.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Making Marriage Work, Marriage Covenant, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Handling sexual perversion

    HELLO Reader, I count it an awesome privilege to bring God’s Word your way again today. It is my prayer that as you enter this second half of the year, God shall daze you with amazing testimonies in your family life in Jesus’ name!  All through this month, I shall be teaching on Handling Sexual Perversion.

    What is perversion? Perversion is a derogatory term for deviation from the original meaning or doctrine, literally ‘turning aside’ from what is perceived to be normal. This week, I shall be showing you sexual perversions of ‘Fornication and Pre-marital sex’

    I have been able to define perversion from my introduction. What then is fornication? The dictionary meaning of the word “fornication” means, any unlawful sexual intercourse between two unmarried man and unmarried woman. In the Bible, the Greek definition of the word “fornication” means, to commit illicit sexual intercourse.

    Fornication is no longer regarded as sin in our society today. It has become a way of life in the society.  Permit me to say, that the sin of fornication is even more pronounced in the church of God today, than anywhere else in the world.  As a Christian, your body has been bought with a price; it is not meant for fornication, rather, your body is meant to glorify God. The Word of God says: Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against hisownbody. What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s (1 Corinthians 6:18-20).

    Young ladies, don’t keep messing up your lives about with men, because of the money they offer you. Your beauty is not meant for trading; after all, God gave you and the Giver can call you back anytime.  Refuse to sell your body for money, for your soul is more precious! You may say, “I have to do something to be able to keep up with the cost of things”. Your life is much more valuable than money.

    You may be a fornicator and still go to church, sing, clap and dance. When they say, “Lift up holy hands and let’s worship the Lord”, and you lift up your hands too, it is not your kind of hands they are talking about.   The Scripture says: Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully (Psalm 24:3-4).

    Some even claim, “After all, we are going to marry, so why can’t we go on the same bed? God knows that we are going to get married, but more often than not, you know what happens?” After they have seen your nakedness, the interest is no longer there. The love is gone and I tell people all the time, more often than not, it is the lady that carries more of the shame. Because, now, that the man has seen your nakedness, he can now say, “I’m sorry sister, in fact God didn’t give me the leading. I have made a mistake. Now go your way and let me go my way. God will give you your husband; He will also give me my own wife.” Why? Because you have sold yourself out to him and there is nothing new anymore.

    Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:14).  For you to have the honour in your marriage as a single person, you must lay a good foundation by keeping yourself pure. Parents, begin to teach your children, before they get into the stage of committing atrocities. Because even if they say, “After doing it, I will ask God for forgiveness”, God will forgive you, yes, but you know when you sustain an injury, it is possible for the wound to heal, but the scar will be there forever.

    Pre-marital Sex

    When we talk of Pre-marital sex, it simply means, sex before marriage. Many couples live together before marriage, to see if they are capable of child bearing, thereby engaging themselves in pre-marital sex. Many end up messing themselves up, by engaging themselves in the works of the flesh.

    The Word of God lists the various work of the flesh in Galatians 5:19-21: Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

    Marriage was designed to bring honour to man and when the bed is defiled, the honour is taken away. If you are in courtship, you are not permitted to engage in sexual relationship or anything that leads to it, if you do that, you are committing fornication and you are defiling your marriage bed, thereby taking away the honour in your marriage.  The marriage bed is for the married only. To engage in sexual intercourse, as a single person, is a sin against your own conscience and against God.  Defiling the marriage bed as a single person, is the quickest route to shame in marriage, whether you are marrying the person involved or not.

    If you are still single, steer clear of sex till you are legally married. The Bible enjoins single persons to present their bodies as a living sacrifice unto the Lord: Beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service (Romans 12:1). In other words, the presentation of your body unto the Almighty God, as a living sacrifice, is your reasonable service unto God. Any other service that you do unto God outside of your body being a living sacrifice, is not acceptable. It doesn’t matter whether you sweep the church everyday as long; as your body is not kept pure, that service is not acceptable unto God.

    It doesn’t matter, the volume of money you bring to the church, when you defile the marriage bed, whether as a single lady or man or as a married man or whatever category you belong to. When you get into illicit sexual relationship, whatever service you render to God has no record and will never receive a reward.

    You may be in the choir and your voice is as sweet as honey, when you stand there, God’s eyes are not beholding you. Because, if the eyes of God behold you at all, it might be for judgment. It doesn’t matter the post you hold or your position.  You can even be the leader of any board in the church, Romans chapter 12 verse 1, is still in the Word of God. Until your body is presented to God as a reasonable service, every other service that you render is unreasonable.

    In case you are reading this article and you know that you are not born again, you may even be a member of a church, the question here is: Are you born again? If not, you can say this simple prayer of faith and you shall be born again: “Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for saving me. Now I know I am born again!”

    Congratulations!  You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: counselling@faithoyedepo.org, Contact@faithoyedepo.org; Tel. No: 08141320204; 07026385437.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Making Marriage Work, Marriage Covenant, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

  • Social medicine: Sexual health matters of men and women in the 35-50 year age bracket

    Much has been said about mature women (married and single) going for younger men for relationships that bother principally on sex, older men (single and married) now preferring girls young enough to be their daughters for marriage. We also have situations where young women, married and single, now form circles of lesbian relationships. The concern in some of these is the inability of one or two of the people involved in a spousal or non –spousal relationship to get adequate sexual satisfaction. Many issues come up when sex related problems declare themselves in normal legal relationships-spousal, non spousal, and are usually not to be trivialized, or ignored because there are no inconsequential matters here. Undoubtedly sex is a major scaffold and the string that holds relationship together so that they don’t fall apart. Most of the sex related problems in the society are not without practical solutions.

    Studies have revealed that men and women in the 35-50 year age groups who are the most sex starved of populations, compared with people who are younger, and this is irrespective of race, all other variables controlled for. What do we do when we observe a sudden or gradual decline in our ability to achieve adequate sexual satisfaction in our marriage or normal relationships?- look inwards to see if something in our body outside the genitalia are responsible, the heart, the lungs, brain/mind? Check if we are eating too much, drinking too much or taking medication that weaken our interest or abilities? Do nothing, and hand over everything to God? Heap the blame on our partner and blame God for not given us more virile partners.

    Take a closer look at ourselves in the mirror and then seeing we are very beautiful or like Adonis wrap it up and go seek excitement in the arms of younger people Male or female?

    These days, it is not really difficult to find relationships and partnerships including multiple partnerships but there are real health risks. It is often not common knowledge that anything that is owned completely by any person and found very pleasurable is like a beast, and if not controlled, will tear it’s owner to pieces- Adventures are not without excitement and pleasures- new sensation, new environment, travels, places, food, clothing, and whatever you may wish to add, but the hidden disadvantages of coital liaisons that are generally accepted as unusual or inappropriate outweigh whatever advantages they have. For an example certain intractable sexually transmitted infections are peculiar and common amongst lesbians.

    It is also common knowledge that HIV/AIDS virus is most efficiently transmitted when people engage in anal sex- a route not anatomically adapted for sex. Inappropriate sexual adventures in any discerning individual can very quickly become an obsession, where suicidal ideation, use of drugs (to overcome performance pressure), murder and deadly diseases can take life away prematurely. As the father of a prominent musician summarized it, they live their lives like candles in the winds and simply disappear from the midst of humanity. For an example, the girl child is barely aware of personal hygiene, being very likely to mistake abnormal vaginal discharge as normal, lower abdominal pain of pelvic inflammatory disease as normal menstrual pain, the fever of hepatitis B infection as malaria or typhoid, the painful swelling of bartholins cyst and ulcer of chancroid as boil and the painless ulcer of syphilis as pimple. the squamocolumnar junction of the girl child’s vagina is much lower compared to that of the matured lady.

    Combined with her lower capacity to negotiate for safer sex, she is placed at a greater risk for sexually transmitted infections. These are not part of the issues of unwanted pregnancies, septic abortions, vesico vaginal fistulae etc. Research has also revealed that mature ladies with relatively obvious body proportions are less likely to succumb to infections like HIV/AIDS and Hepatitis B. The mechanism is based on the relationship between Leptin receptors in adipose tissues and the antigen presenting cells (APC)

    A 36 year old young woman who had regular explosive sexual relationship with her husband claims she simply needed the arms of a young male around her when for reasons she could not explain, she left her husband and after waiting for years and getting snubbed by men, her age agreed to go out with a man much younger than her. She is currently living with HIVAIDS. At first, only her daughter knew about her condition, but soon the school her daughter attends manage to know and now it is all over town.

    For men and women aged 35-50 years, Sexual inadequacies may occur in one or more of the following ways;

    For men, erectile failure, erectile dysfunction tops the list. It takes different forms in different men depending on age. In flaccid impotence, there is no erection at all and the situation remains ISQ despite efforts by a partner. In erectile dysfunction, there are several problems, erection may not occur and when it is achieved, it is weak or not strong enough to achieve penetration. In some persons, there is erection, but it fails a few minutes after penetration

    The most important issue here is age- as we grow older, blood vessels everywhere become narrowed and less elastic. There is no bone in the penis, just muscle and blood vessels; age alters all rheological properties of blood. The number of receptors available for hormones and enzymes to home in are reduced and it is vital to note that the major organs of the body including the eyes, ears , heart, brain/mind, lungs, kidneys are all involved in the action , and so situations of sadness, sorrow, stress, anger, and disease conditions such as diabetes mellitus, hypertension will affect the quality of sex that can be achieved. In the same token, drugs used to treat these diseases of the heart, brain and blood vessels and nerves will reduce or even take away the strength of sexual performance possible .

    Alcohol, smoking, excess sugar and obesity are likely to worsen sexual stamina in men older than 35, some will quickly raise the issue of village men who are married with many wives , smoke crude cigarettes and drink plenty of ‘kaikai’. There are many reasons, from the known to the unknown-one of the known is that individual variations exist in the metabolic activities of enzymes which remove and degrade alcohol tobacco and cigarettes, beyond that, it is becoming obvious now that only a mother and DNA paternity tests that can definitely tell who fathered the children she has, about 20% of first born persons are not biologically related to those they call their fathers.

    Another common problem equally frustrating to a wife is premature ejaculation. This may happen as soon as body contact is made or a few second after entry. While erectile dysfunction, is common in old age, premature ejaculation is usually due to several factors and tend to occur with younger men. Partner understanding, sympathy and assistance are crucial for these two conditions. It is very important indeed for the woman not to make issues out of the experience, because doing so could lead to a situation where her husband suffers impotence only when he is with her but remains very strong and active with another woman- the psychosomatic integration of the human body for a singular action is as complex as that.

    Men experiencing these problems are advised to see a Doctor, but the young man with premature ejaculation has more work to do to help himself if he wants his partner to remain with him . Nothing is more tormenting and women have been known to scream out their frustrations from bedrooms–Doctors with specialist training in these areas talk about the rule of 9, and can be found online. Reducing the frequency of intercourse, graduated stimulation with cooperation from wife are two things you can do

    Retarded ejaculation and aorgasmic coitus can be taken together. When experienced early in marriage, a man with retarded ejaculation may cherished as a sex machine, but there is a problem, the reason he does not lose strength is that he is not losing what normal men give away in their sperm ejaculate-large quantities of energy in the form of ATPS (Adenosine triphosphate).

    Women are trained by Doctors to bring everything to a close whenever they desire by special conditioning of the vaginal muscles. Affected men are also advised to do SFAC (seminal fluid analysis and culture). They may also avoid intercourse for some time, and also to reduce the frequency of intercourse. When the woman discovers the problem, there is increased tendency for aorgasmic coitus such that even the little that comes out does not get up to the outer 1/3rd of the fallopian tube, fertilization does not occur and infertility results despite regular coitus.

    Women more than men in that age group commonly encounter loss of interest in sex and even of enjoying it. It is however more likely for the man to experiment with someone else though temptations can come to anybody even those who appear not to be going out. Sadness, sorrow, illnesses, age and stress are the main causes. Psychotherapy, age appropriate entertainment, sports and entertainment and god communication are often helpful.

    For women, Vaginal dryness may occur as a sign of infection or age related decrease in estrogen, stress and other problems of life the man may feel he is no longer physically attracted to his wife and if the situation persists and he is not reassured, he is likely to start going out, creams and counseling for partner understanding may be useful.

    Vaginismus, in a woman is diagnosed when uncontrollable contractions of the vagina prevents normal coitus, this condition which may not allow the initiation of coitus at all is to be differentiated from the normal ballooning of the upper portion of the vagina that occurs at the peak phase of sexual excitement.

     

     

  • Vanguard parley seeks to empower the child against sexual abuse

    The Vanguard Newspaper yesterday held the fifth edition of its children’s conference in commemoration of this year’s International Day of the African Child.

    The programme, with the theme: Roles of Teachers in Curbing Child Sexual Abuse, was attended by the wife of Ogun State deputy governor, Mrs Olufunmilayo Adesegun; wife of frontline industrialist, Mrs Khubrat Olayinka Razak-Okoya, who was also the mother of the day; Mrs Olatunji Belo, Chairman Pearlcourt Residences and Hotels, as well as Mr Fred Odueme, who represented the Vanguard publisher, Mr Sam Amuka-Pemu.

    Others at the event included pupils from public and private primary and secondary schools across the state as well as heads of schools and counsellors.

    The Vanguard said the programme has been holding in the last five years to create an effective channel for the children who have been sexually abused and have been unable to approach their parents, to speak out and gethelp.

    Odueme said the theme for this year’s edition was chosen because of the important roles teachers play in moulding everybody in the society.

    He said there is need to return the days of glory among teachers because it is the only way to encourage them to perform better.

    Mrs Razak-Okoya said the International Day of the African Child was created by the African Union (UN) to mark the gruesome murder, 23 years ago, of 200 students in Soweto, South Africa. They were protesting discrimination and poor quality of education given to black children by the then apartheid regime.

    She described child sexual abuse as a silent endemic as well as a public health issue with negative long-term effect on victims, depending on the extent or degree of the abuse.