The Nation Newspaper

Tag: sexual

  • Sexual harassment in varsities

    Before I add my voice to this epidemic of sexual harassment in univer-sities, perhaps we should consider chapter four of the Nigerian constitution which highlights the protection of fundamental rights of citizens flowing from the Africa Charter on Human and People’s Rights, and the UN Declaration on People’s Rights.

    Several international legal instruments prohibit sexual harassment and other forms of discrimination against women. Till date the United Nations has organised four world conferences on women. These took place in Mexico City in 1975, Copenhagen in 1980, Nairobi in 1985 and Beijing in 1995. The last was followed by a series of five-year reviews. The Beijing Declaration and platform for Action, unanimously adopted by 189 countries is an agenda for women empowerment.  It was considered a key global policy document on gender equality. Violence against women, human rights of women and the girl child were among the 12 critical areas of concern.

     Over the years, several laws have been made, bills have been passed and different punishments have been put forward against sexual harassment in Nigeria. There have also been so many cases of sexual harassment reported in the media with so much pomp and ceremony. Some perpetrators have even been taken to court. Yet the orgy of sexual harassment keeps raging on.

     It seems to me that there is so much sex harassment hype and publicity in the media without the requisite action to fight it. That is why sexual harassment, a by-product of corruption has continued to thrive in our society and especially in the universities. It is no longer news to hear students discussing one form of sexual harassment from lecturers in their various campuses. In some universities in Nigeria, grades are now measured by the two unlikely bed fellowships of academic non-performance and sexual gratification. Many have had the courage to say no to negative sexual advances while some give in after strong pressure. There is the possibility that even the small percentage of people who refuse to be intimidated or cowed face offers of material gifts and huge sum of money for sex while others continue to have carryovers and spillovers as their punishment for refusing sexual advances.

    The implication of this situation is that students often times are awarded grades they do not merit and others who refuse to succumb deprived of grades they ordinarily deserve.

    However, there are quite a number of students who have suffered sexual abuses in the universities and many more who will continue to suffer sexual violence because there are no structures in place or the existing structures are not strong enough to absorb or withstand the influence of the calibre of personalities involved.

    There are indications that the percentage of unreported cases of sexual harassment in these universities is more than reported cases. Go to the internet and you will find many of such cases. Most of the victims do not speak out because of fear of victimisation leading to extra years in the school, social stigma and weak institutional structures in the university and in the society.

    Relevant institutions need to be strengthened to fight against the immunity that encourages impunity of some lecturers with regards to sexual harassment in the universities and others in the society at large.

    It is time for civil societies to go beyond creating awareness on the ills of sexual harassment to build and strengthen institutions to fight against the immunity that some sex-addicted lecturers enjoy. And this would likely discourage some unserious students from implicating some lecturers in universities.

    • By Sandra Eguagie

    Benin, Edo State.

  • Sexual abuse victims tell their stories

    Sexual abuse victims tell their stories

    Facilitator of Ornaments of Grace and Virtue, a non-governmental organisation (NGO) dedicated to promoting the welfare of young girls, Mrs Kehinde Omojola, speaks to OLUWATOYIN ADELEYE on how they can prevent sexual harassment.

    THE rape scandal rocking the University of Lagos (UNILAG) has, once again, thrown up questions on why undergraduates fail to seek redress through  the channels provided by their institutions when sexually harassed by their lecturers.

    Dr. Akin Baruwa, a part-time lecturer of UNILAG, on Thursday, July 23, this year raped a teenager, one Cecilia (not real name), who was seeking admission into the university in an office in the Faculty of Business Administration.

    The victim’s father and Baruwa are said to belong to the same landlord association in Abesan, Ipaja area of Lagos.

    On the fateful day, Cecilia’s father had asked her to follow Baruwa to UNILAG to sort out her admission issue.  But the journey ended in jeopardy.

    Though Baruwa, upon arrest, owned up to the act, he insisted that it was by mutual consent.

    The university has set up a committee to investigate the scandal and promised to address the press on the outcome soon. The Dean, Faculty of Business Administration, Prof Rasheed Ojikutu claims that Baruwa is not among the about 120 lecturers in his faculty.  However, there are indications that he lectures in the Distance Learning Institute.

    Cecilia’s case is one of the few to get public attention because she reported to her parents. Many more students have been harassed, who for fear, failed to speak up. As a result, the lecturers were not punished. Though the procedure for seeking redress is spelt out, The Nation learnt that students hardly exploit them for fear of being victimised.

    Most of the female students interviewed about the matter refused to give their names to avoid getting into trouble. Even those who have already graduated pleaded anonymity to avoid the social stigma.

    A female student of Mass Communication at UNILAG has been harassed.  But she did not report the incident which she described as “an abuse of power.”

    “It was during my days as a postgraduate diploma student in the Department of Mass Communication in UNILAG. During one of my papers, my lecturer – I can’t mention his name, because he would probably know if he reads this story – announced in the exam hall that ‘if you are not writing well or you know you do not know the questions, don’t cheat, just see me after the paper.’

    “I was not sure of myself, so I decided to see him, just to confirm if he would use my Continuous Assessments and attendance to give me extra marks or something. So, I went to his office and he told me to write down my name and I did. Then, he asked me a funny question: ‘Cash or kind?’ I was confused at first, but he said I should better stop behaving like a child.

    “I decided to push my luck, just to see if he meant it. So, I offered N20, 000. He got angry and told me to get out that I am not ready to pass. He said my mates are offering him N100,000 and above. After a lot of begging, he accepted the money. I also bought him some expensive wines and gifts, though. In the end, he still did nothing, because I had a D in the course. I am just grateful he did not decide to fail me.”

    Explaining why she did not report, she said: “Who would I report to? I was even a bit guilty that I paid in the first place, so my mouth is shut. That is why this must be written as anonymous. Thank you.”

    Miss Yetunde (surname withheld) recalled a horrid sexual harassment story as a part-time undergraduate of UNILAG.  She lacked the courage to report. But another lecturer helped her out.

    Her account:  “I was sexually harassed when I was pursuing a Bachelors programme in Education as a part-time student of University of Lagos.  A lecturer was hitting on me, but I refused to answer him. He continued to disturb me to no avail. He failed me in my core course.  I, then, went to his office to ask how I failed because I was very sure of what I wrote in the exam. He said I should give him an answer to his proposal if I wanted to pass his course. I later found out that he got other teachers to fail me just because I turned down his advances.

    “Fortunately, for me, a lecturer who knew I was very intelligent noticed that I was failing some of my major courses. He came to my rescue by investigating the case and found out that the said lecturer had conspired with his other colleagues to fail me. This kind lecturer then reported the case to the Head of Department. The erring lecturer was sanctioned and later lost his job.”

    Modupe’s experience while seeking admission into the Lagos State University (LASU) was similar to Cecilia’s.

    Hear her: “It happened in 2008, when I was still seeking admission into LASU. Though I did well in my UTME, yet my father felt a connection from the university had to be involved to make my admission sail through

    “My father suddenly remembered he had a female colleague whose immediate younger brother was a lecturer in the Department of English in the school.  I later called the lecturer who asked me to come on a Saturday, which was the day I was to sit for the post- UTME.

    “I called him (lecturer) and he directed me to his office. As I made to enter, I noticed the quietness of the one storey, including the offices most of which were locked up.

    “I was 16 and a virgin, but had known and read a lot about sex. Unfortunately, sex was an abominable subject in our house. I prepared my mind for whatever would happen because I had been taught not to trust any man at all.

    “I entered the sparsely-furnished office and sat down. He stood up from his seat, made for the door and locked it with a key and my heart skidded. He sat down again and asked me for my credentials.  He then became more serious and started asking me personal questions. ‘Are you a virgin?’ ‘Do you have a boyfriend?’ ‘How do you feel about your big breasts?’ (I have very big boobs and my flat tummy made it more obvious)?

    “I was immediately looking for a way to leave the room before things degenerated, so I dashed for the door. He came after me and pinned me to the door fondling my breasts and moaning loudly. I got very angry and tried to push him away but I could not because he was very strong, despite his frail physique. I removed his spectacles and threatened to pluck out his eyeballs if he did not allow me to leave the room. Reluctantly, he opened the door and I bolted down the stairs. I felt humiliated, used and angry, but I knew I was not going to tell anybody at home because sex has never been spoken of in my family.”

    Another alumnus of LASU, who simply identified herself as Harriet, recounted how she almost fell into the trap of her project supervisor during her final year.

    “I was sexually harassed by my lecturer while I was in the first semester of my 400-Level,” Harriet said. “It is an unfortunate scenario that I will not forget in a hurry.  It took place in one of the faculties at the Lagos State University.

    “I was assigned to one of our lecturers who was widely rumoured to have a liking for young girls.

    “During our first meeting, I noticed that he kept staring at my breasts and I was very uncomfortable.

    “Anytime I went into his office to seek clarification over my project, he would always engage me in sexual talks. He is either complimenting me about my straight legs which would be easy to spread out on the bed or other things which I would pretend not to pay attention to.

    “I was at the concluding part of my project on that fateful day. I’d gone to see him. I entered his office and he started rectifying all he needed to do in my project. Then, he started glancing at me in an unusual way and told me point blank that he wanted me to hold the table and him ‘doing it’ from behind. I thought he was joking and stood up immediately to leave, but he blocked the exit and forcefully dragged my hand to hold his already turgid manhood. I started begging him to let me go but he would not yield. I made to shout but he quickly blocked my mouth. He said I could go on only one condition- that I must not report to anybody, otherwise I would never graduate. He reminded me that he was an executive member of ASUU (Academic Staff Union of Universities) and he is well connected.

    “I never reported to the school authority and he never tried it with me again. I only told my friends I graduated without any issue.”

    However, contrary to the students’ claims of fear of victimization, authorities in various tertiary institutions insist that the formal procedure for redress works.

    Ojikutu, for instance, said UNILAG, where he has worked for nearly 30 years, does not joke with allegations by students, especially those relating to sexual harassment.

    He said the channels provided by the institution for students to seek redress when their rights are being trampled upon function well.

    “There is a process. You can write to your counsellor or course adviser. If he or she is not attending to your prayer, you approach your Head of Department. If your HOD does not attend to you, you approach the Dean. If the Dean is not attending to you, then you approach the VC.

    “Students are not idiots. Once they feel short-changed, they should complain. And once we receive a complaint, we will act. If you write to me and say you are being sexually harassed, the first thing I will do is to query the person concerned. And I must get a response within 24 hours and the student will be protected. You people just believe that the only crime in the university is sexual harassment. But there are lots of other issues that we address. Offences are not only committed between lecturers and students, sometimes it is between students. So, you think that the students are orphans and that there is nobody to protect them? No!”

    The Public Relations Officer of Yaba College of Technology (YABATECH), Mr Charles Oni, also told our reporter that abused students could seek redress.

    He said: “In a school environment like YABATECH, we have a process for addressing such issue (sexual harassment). We have the Senior Staff Disciplinary Committee, which deals with misconduct from erring lecturers. They listen to complaints by students and the lecturer will be tried based on evidences supplied.  If found guilty, he is either demoted or dismissed depending on the gravity of the offence.”

    Oni added that sexual harassment was not rampant in the institution. “As much as I know, I have not witnessed any case of sexual harassment. It is not common here,” Oni said.

     

  • How impunity encourages sexual crimes

    How impunity encourages sexual crimes

    The Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT) has an important job: the eradication of gender-based violence in Lagos State. In this interview with  YETUNDE OLADEHINDE, ADEBISI ONANUGA and ROBERT EGBE,  the group’s Coordinator, Mrs. Lola Vivour-Adeniyi, during a visit to The Nation, spoke on the scale of the problem in the state as well as the government’s strategies to combat the scourge. Excerpts.

     

    There are already many organisations handling issues relating to domestic as well as sexual abuse and violence, why was it necessary to establish the DSVRT?

    There was a case of a four-year-old girl that was sexually assaulted. Due to the intensity of the defilement, her pelvic dropped, so she couldn’t control her urinal passage, and, of course, you know that different agencies are doing different things to address these issues, but there was no coordinated response to it. For example, you know some NGOs carry out sensitisation campaigns to try and pressurise relevant agencies to take relevant action and, then, the police are supposed to investigate, but sometimes this doesn’t come through. And even when it does, there’s sometimes the issue of out-of-court settlement. Sometimes the case gets to the Director of Public Prosecutions, other times it does not. So, the former Attorney-General felt that the best thing to do was to have representatives from all these agencies under one umbrella, come together, since we’re all working towards one common goal, which is, ultimately, to eradicate sexual and gender-based violence. And that is why the Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team was established in 2014.

     

    So, the DSVRT is a coalition of the government as well as law enforcement agencies?

    The team comprises representatives of relevant agencies and the private sector; it is a public-private partnership, so you have civil society organisations, the Ministry of Women Affairs and Poverty Alleviation, Ministry of Education, that of Youth and Social Development, we have the Directorate of Public Prosecution and some media partners.

     

    What kinds of challenges have you been facing?

    This month alone we’ve attended to eight cases and the major challenge is the community. You have a victim and we say girl victim, but it can happen to boys or men. You find out that when the girl or woman has found the courage to come out and speak up, you have her family members, the society, the community representatives begging,saying things like ‘please forgive him, are you God? Can’t you just forgive? At least, you didn’t die, let God deal with him, etc.’ And you just wonder if these people know these things are crimes? Just a couple of days ago, the uncle of a victim called and said he heard I would speak to the Divisional Police Officer, requesting for the status of the case. I told him to come to my office so we could talk, but he said no, that they had reported it to the police and they want the police to ‘just punish him small, and let him go one week later.’ I looked at him and said, ‘Are you the Attorney-General? You’re not the government, you’re not the person that is allowed to mete out punishment. You’ve done a good job, you’ve reported the case, now allow the law to take its course. So, we have a lot of work to do to in terms of sensitising members of the public that rape is a crime and it is not for anyone to encourage.

     

    Rape is a crime. What about its prevention? Is there anything are you doing towards sensitising people about this and to find out why they do it?

    We’re not only interested in punishing the perpetrators, we’re also putting in a lot of preventive measures. Part of that is why we’re here, because when the public is aware of what we do it makes everything easier. We go to schools, we sensitise all stakeholders who have one thing or the other to do with the issue. We go to churches, we go to mosques; anywhere there’s a gathering. If you look at the way our culture is evolving, children see adults as uncles and aunties, as trusted people and most of the perpetrators of sexual violence are not strangers, so, as much as possible, we focus on the young. We tell them things like, nobody should touch certain parts of their bodies, whether or not the person is an aunty or an uncle. We’re even educating caregivers as well. The case you heard of the four-year-old, the girl was calling the perpetrator ‘uncle’, yet he was defiling all the little girls in the school, more like a serial rapist. We organize programmes, we have posters, handbills, etc. Wherever we can get these young people, we go there and tell them.

     

    The victims of these crimes go through a lot of pain both physical and emotional. What do they tell you about their experiences?

    One thing that the victims go through is that sometimes they are actually harassed; they are threatened, their lives are threatened. Then when it comes to threats, we’re yet to get to that level where we develop a mindset that no matter what you do to me, I’m going on with the case and that is why we want the media to bring out articles that people can read whether adults or the young, and understand that they shouldn’t feel threatened. We need you to help us tell people that what we do is a holistic package, that sexual violence is a crime against the state. Bringing all of these various organisations under one umbrella is very helpful, because it means that people now know that there are different doors that they can approach.

     

    Why is defilement usually treated differently than rape?

    Well, we have the Criminal Laws of Lagos State 2011, and the difference between rape and defilement as you rightly said, is that we have Section 137 that provides for defilement, then we have section 258 for rape. But I think the reason we find that most defilement cases get handled differently is because the victim is unable to speak out by his or herself, you’ll find that it is through the parents or guardians that are the mouthpiece of the victim, it is through them we get to know about the victim. We actually think that defilement is a very serious matter, and defilement is not just being perpetuated by men, you’ll be amazed that female teachers are inserting things, inserting pens into children’s vaginas in the school premises.

     

    What can we say is the cause of this new trend?

    I think it is impunity. I think people are doing these things because they think they can get away with it. And even from best practices, when we look at how other countries that have had these kinds of incidents, how they’ve been able to handle it, the most effective deterrent is conviction. When you read the Punch, The Nation, and you see so and so defiled a child convicted for life; so and so person defiled a child, convicted for 30 years; it’ll send a message that it is no more business as usual.

     

    Talking about conviction, the UNILAG lecturer’s case, what are you doing about that?

    The part-time lecturer? We’re actually on top of it. You know the case was reported to the Office of the Public Defender, which is a member of the team, and the Director sent a letter to the University of Lagos (UNILAG) management to inform them about it, but the victim has received medical treatment, the part-time lecturer case has been arraigned before an Ikeja Magistrate’s Court and he’s on remand in Kirikiri. The reality with rape is, it is ‘she said, he said’. The perpetrator will say it was consensual, the victim will say ‘I did not consent’, so, it’s only when they get to court that the court will now say ‘where is the evidence?’

     

    When it comes to these crimes, what kind of people should children, parents and guardians be most wary of?

    You’ll find out that most people who perpetrate these acts are people that the victims know. Sometimes these people know that a daughter is sneaking out of the house, they’ll blackmail her and say ‘I’m going to tell mummy and daddy if you don’t let me do this.’ That’s how it starts, and once there is a scar, it leads to some of the social problems we’re now having, because the scar is there, it didn’t heal. They have long-term effects on the victim. And we have a lot of problems now, taking care of the people who have been sexually abused. Every home must start educating its children. Not only on ABC and 123, but on whatever name you want to call it, whether it’s sex education, talk shows or whatever, you must discuss it at home.

     

    There are stipulated punishments for perpetrators of domestic and gender-based crimes. Does your agency have any programme or system for identifying and rewarding ‘good behavior’ or ‘sanity’ for instance in schools?

    Well, in terms of the Mandatory Reporting Policy, I don’t know if you’re familiar with that. It mandates anybody employed by the Lagos State Government that has dealings with children to report actual or perceived cases of child abuse to the Office of the Attorney-General, and we came up with this manual and there’s a form that they’re supposed to fill. What we intend to do is to see the mandated reporters that have reported; we note reports that have been made by a particular set of mandated reporters and we intend to reward them. I believe we’ll do it in the open and get organisations to partner with us and give them their products and so on and so forth, just to encourage them that, okay, they’re doing the right thing.

     

    What should a rape victim do to preserve evidence immediately such a crime occurs?

    The first thing is that the victim should not take a bath, and that is a stiff challenge because when a rape occurs, the first thing the victim wants to do is to wash. But when you’re washing, you’re actually washing away the evidence. The next thing is to go to the nearest hospital; ideally, the victim should go to the Mirabel Centre. The Mirabel Centre is a sexual assault and referral centre where you receive free medical and counselling aid. If the Mirabel Centre, which is located at the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital (LASUTH) is too far, the victim should go to the nearest hospital. It’s not about prosecution at that stage; we simply want to protect the victim. If the victim presents herself of himself within 72 hours, which is the golden period, tests can be administered which reduces the chances of the victim contracting sexually transmitted diseases like HIV and all of that. So, the first thing is to get medical help.

     

    Are you doing anything towards discouraging the subtle denigration of women in popular culture, such as in the featuring of scantily dressed ladies in Nigerian songs or films?

    To be fair, that’s adult content. They’re not meant to be shown during regular hours. But, I don’t know if you’re familiar with Nigerian musician Olamide’s song ‘Story for the gods’? That song is promoting rape from the beginning to the end. “You come to my house, you’re telling me it’s getting late. I don’t need your permission. Now you’re saying my hand is hurting me.” People were singing the song and I didn’t know. Then somebody interpreted it and I went online and saw the interpretation, and I said wow, this is a rape song. I don’t know if you’ve even seen the video. We didn’t hear of it on time, in fact, we got wind of it like a year late, but when we did, and though there’s a limit to what we can do in a matter like this, we wrote to the National Broadcasting Commission (NBC) and advised the NBC that if these kinds of songs are aired at all, they should be aired during off peak hours. And then we even attacked Olamide on Twitter and told him his song was promoting rape and he needed to desist from this. Obviously he didn’t respond. We all need to canvass more that these kinds of things should not be encouraged. Radio stations should not be playing these kinds of songs when children are listening, but I don’t think it’s reasonable to say, no don’t show those kinds of videos.

     

     

     

  • The Sexual Offences Bill: Soyinka got it wrong, says Senator Anyanwu

    I have read your open letter published in PM NEWS and re-published on BELLA NAIGA, Premiumtimesnig.com and a number of on-line papers and also The Nation.

    No one who read that letter could miss the fury embedded in your words. I know where that fury comes from: moral fiber, good conscience, and love of people. I want to assure you that it was the very same sentiments that drove me to come up with that bill and the same sentiments that led senators and members to pass it.

    As always, your aim was to speak as the voice of reason in our increasingly confused society.  I know you meant well. I know you acted out of your deep compassion for Nigerians and fatherly love for the children. But as I read your open letter, my heart sank because this time, my dear Baba, my dear icon, you are wrong; very wrong.

    You have been misled by the misinformation circulated by someone who could not read or comprehend a legal draft; someone who did not have the patience to read through a proposal, see what was recommended and what was finally accepted. You were misled by someone who deliberately distorted the content of one of the most profound bills ever passed by the Nigerian legislature, scandalised the proponent and the institution for reasons that you and I may not know.

    No where in the SEXUAL OFFENCES BILL That I proposed; no where in the bill passed by Senate was it stated that you can defile an 11 years old. No where in the bill passed by the Senate was the age “11 years”  mentioned. Here is what was passed in relation to your area of pre-occupation which is defilement clause 6 (2):

    “A person who commits an offence of defilement shall upon conviction be sentenced to imprisonment for life”.

    You claimed that the bill re-defined “female adulthood as marital status”. Where in the bill proposed by me and where in the bill passed by Senate did you see adulthood linked to marital status? The extreme distortion of the spirit, intent and even content of this bill leads me to think that you may be talking about an all-together different piece of legislation. For emphasis, let me state that the bill makes no such linkages as you erroneously stated. I think it may be fear of Senator Yerima that is at play here. For  your information, Senator Yerima and all other Senators who  participated in the debate the two times the bill came up on the floor supported it as a vehicle for instituting a stringent law barring all ranges of sexual offences in Nigeria. They did this because they also have children, wives, daughters, even mothers and cannot afford to leave them in the current state where abuses are rewarded with a slap on the wrist of the perpetrators

    because our laws are outdated, without strong in-built deterrence and mechanisms for monitoring and control are absent.

    This is just another case of people demonizing what is clearly in the public good because of deeply-set negative pre-dispositions towards individuals in an institution. By your strong advocacy against the bill, you have unwittingly stamped your feet in favor of maintaining the statusquo. Where we are now..the statusquo.. is a world in which a six year old child is raped to death and then set ablaze. Where we are now is a place where a father rapes his 3 year old boys repeatedly and the mother weeps at night and cannot speak out out of shame and fear of her life. Where we are now is a place where young Cynthia in her struggles for self employment ran into a gang who drugged her, raped and murdered her. Where we are now is a place where foreigners come for tourism and turn children into their objects of tourism.

    With all due respect Sir, I want to express my deep disappointment with your hastiness in flowing with the mob on this matter. I blame your press officers. I think they should have advised caution.  You have known me since the 1990’s. There is no way you could have sent fellers and I would not jump into the next flight to answer you.  Infact, a mere telephone call could have dispensed with the matter. If you had even asked someone to get you a copy of the Votes and Proceedings of Senate for that day which published the exact words in the legislation passed, you would have spared yourself the time and emotions spent over what is clear mischief circulated through the web. The people who started it all are hate-mongers. They merely took advantage of the negative public feelings they have built up against the legislature. You have no business with such people Sir.

    I am sure in the most inner recesses of your mind you know I cannot in anyway be associated with any anti-people law. Nothing in my personal history, professional antecedents or even the hard work I did to push through pro-people legislations in Senate, could lead anyone to think of me as capable of working against children, the very people I fought for over the course of my 8 years in Senate. The Sexual Offences bill is only one of many I did. I also proposed the Occupational Safety and Health bill protecting workers in virtually all sectors of the economy from hazards at work.  The only group excluded are those in the oil and gas sectors who have been extensively provided for in the PIB.

    There was no “accident” as you call it involved in this legislation. Neither was there an error in judgement. The bill has been fabricated to provide a strong deterrence against abuses. When implemented, It will mitigate the private sufferings of parents; reduce their fear of what happens in their absence to their children at school, in the play grounds, in the neighborhoods, even in religious spaces.

    Nigeria today is not a safe place for children; not a safe place for girls; not a safe place for small boys; and it is not a safe place either for old women.  This legislation is proposes condign punishments for abhorrent crimes such as we are seeing in our country today. It even covers crimes yet to arrive our shores. Under this bill, pedophiles will be put away for life not made rock stars as we do today. This bill will bring sanity to our society. It will make Nigeria a better place for all.

    I suspect that some of those fighting against the bill are fixating on the short title. Its long title shows what it is:  a sexual offences prevention bill; a tough deterrence to crime.  I want you to take time and read the final copy of the bill. You will be proud. You will realize that good things can come from Nigeria and Nigerians. It is not only legislations initiated by outsiders and handed to us locals to push for their passage that should be deemed as good for us. By passing that bill, National Assembly has kept faith with the people of Nigeria. It has provided the cover of protection under which Nigerian children can live normal lives of fulfillment without fear. By your robust advocacy against the bill preventing sexual abuses of children, you foreclose the future of children in this society. But if I read you correctly, I have no doubt that you will reverse yourself on this once you have the correct information. This is why I have written you this letter.

    You have made your first “imposition” on Mr. President based on your understanding of the false information circulated by the very offenders you despise. I plead with you as a man who has been found to be a great man of honor and bestowed with the highest literary honor in the world to reconsider.

    Let me on behalf of the innumerable victims of abuse in Nigeria; let me invoke the spirit of Cynthia who fell victim in Lagos; and let me plead  on behalf of the many wives and husbands deliberately infected with HIV by their partners whose suffering impelled this bill, that you reverse your instruction to Mr. President.  The President of the Federal Republic looks to old sages like you for positive direction. That was what you intended to give him. But now that you know the truth, for the sake of your long established reputation and known love for Nigeria, turn it around and urge Mr. President to sign this bill that will protect our people, restore sanity to society and make Nigeria a better place for all.

    I remain your loyal admirer and sister.

  • Sexual intimacy in marriage

    Thanks for sharing your situation with us. We hope we will be able to provide some tips that will help your marriage, especially in the sexual aspect. What you are going through is not different. Most beginners have the same challenges. From your story, I can see that there is a bit of communication between you and your wife which is a plus. In the beginning, the challenges are great, but trust me, with the right information you will later improve.

    Sexual intimacy in marriage is very important because it is the process whereby husband and wife give in or blend their personalities. It helps them experience together the highest moment in their life of complete oneness. Therefore, understanding how to enjoy sexual intimacy with your spouse is to have a clear knowledge of your spouse’s expectations and how to work towards achieving them. However, being a Christian or Muslim is the more reason while you and your wife should talk about sex freely with  each other.  Almighty God ordains marriage with sex for bonding and procreation. I know full well that there is something powerfully binding that happens when husband and wife makes love. And frankly, it angers Satan because deep down he knows that marriage where sex is treasured and protected is a force to be reckoned with. Yes, he has a more difficult task on his hands when he goes up against a couple that savours being one with each other. Sexuality is a natural and essential part of intimate human partnership. That is why husband and wife who are sexually satisfied are happier and healthier than those who don’t. So to achieve this you must create an atmosphere for intimacy. Remember small changes make big difference. More so marriage is the only platform that you have the licence to explore sexual intimacy with your spouse. That is to say you should do and undo with your spouse.   The following are helpful tips:

    Learn to set the mood: Relax and be free with each other to start with, and then try to engage your wife about your day’s happenings and ask her about her day. Allow her to express herself freely. Laugh over issues with her. As a matter of fact, start being nice to her from morning, so that when it gets to bed time you and your wife are already in a relax mood to enjoy sex.

    Communication: Talk to your spouse; commend her for letting you know that she is not satisfied sexually. Then, ask her what she likes. Also state your likes as well. Let her know that you are in it together and that there is always room for improvement. Discuss the issue freely. Close the conversation with a warm embrace and affectionate kiss.

    Expression: Put the conversation into practice, just like the saying goes “action speaks louder than words”. A sexually satisfied spouse makes a happy home.

    Appreciation: Nothing leads more to gratitude and compliment. Men and women want to be appreciated. They want to be noticed, admired and complimented. When you shower your relationship (wife) with gratitude and good energy of appreciation, your wife will want to be close to you in every aspect.

    Learn to be romantic: To some women, romance or foreplay puts them in the mood. Study your spouse; know what interests her and then incorporate it into your sex life.

    Be spontaneous: Broaden your knowledge. Read books that will educate you more. Be creative. Flow with your feelings. Have no specific time to be intimate with your wife. Surprise her. That way, you can really satisfy her in bed. If you can get her something she likes when she is not expecting it that will be nice.  Always remember that you are married and so two are now one. Like I will say, you now have the licence to enjoy each other sexually. This feeling will definitely help you knock off the feeling that you are not good enough. Instead, it will help you build up your self- esteem.

    Moreover, learn to develop the skill of being able to hold up your sexual urge and help your wife to build up her sexual desire, so that both will be ready to enter into the moment of marital intimacy together (climax). Then, ensure you accompany each other, cuddling lovingly and tenderly until each falls into a calm relaxing sleep in the arms of one another.

     

    Harriet Ogbobine is a counselor and a motivational speaker. Send in your questions and suggestions to her on bineharriet@gmail.com.   You can also follow her on twitter@bineharrietj or txt message only to 08023058805. Blog; liwh.com.ng

  • Risky sexual behaviour on the rise

    Risky sexual behaviour on the rise

    A microbiologist has expressed concern on the rising incidence of anal sex, describing it as a ticking bomb.

    Dr Morenike Ukpong, an Associate Professor at the Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU) in Ile-Ife, Osun State,  said anal sex is the highest risk form of sexual transmission of HIV with approximately 14 times higher risk of HIV transmission when compared to penile-vaginal sex.

    Dr Ukpong, who conducted a research on prevalence of anal sex amongst adolescents – implications for HIV prevention in Nigeria, said anal sex is practised by 12 percent of public secondary school pupils;  12.1 percent of university students and 15.2 percent adolescents in North.

    The research was conducted under the aegis of New HIV Vaccine and Microbicide Advocacy Society (NHVMAS).

    She said most youths engage in anal sex based on wrong assumptions that they won’t get pregnant, and also as a way of maintaining their chastity/virginity.

    “It should interest them to know that pregnancy can occur if semen is deposited near the opening to the vagina. Anal sex does carry risks, especially of HIV. Oral contact with the anus can put both partners at risk for hepatitis, herpes, human papillomavirus (HPV) may also lead to the development of anal warts and anal cancer and other infections.

    “There are evidence to show that about 10 percent of women and 14 percent of men in the general population practise anal sex, with condom use being low during this sexual practice as a result of multiple erroneous beliefs including the beliefs that anal sex is safer than vaginal,” said Dr Ukpong.

    Dr Ukpong said: “Request for anal sex by clients of female sex workers is high, though not a negligible proportion, with men paying higher to have anal sex with either male or female sex workers for many reasons, such as it is more pleasurable, tighter, gets to ejaculate faster and for prevention of STIs, and it is cleaner as fewer people engage with this ‘hole’.”

    ‘And you know what?’said Dr Ukpong, “for females, the risk is higher as they will always be the receptor in either vaginal or anal sex. Part of the research indicates that many females engage in anal sex during menstruation, for pleasure and a whole host of other reasons. Yet evidence shows that as receptors of either anal or vaginal sex, their risks are increased.”

    According to a consultant/Professor of Haematology and Blood Transfusion, Prof Ibironke Akinsete: “The way forward is to create more awareness on this. The family, society and the government need to share information in schools in view of the statistics that show that despite under reporting, 12 to 15 percent of our adolescents practise anal sex.

    “We need to let them realise that even though serious injury from anal sex is not common, it can occur. Bleeding after anal sex could be due to a hemorrhoid or tear, or something more serious such as a perforation (hole) in the colon. This is a dangerous problem that requires immediate medical attention. Treatment involves a hospital stay, surgery, and antibiotics to prevent infection”, she stated.

    Prof Akinsete said: “There are a number of health risks with anal sex, and anal intercourse is the most risky form of sexual activity for several reasons. The anus lacks the natural lubrication the vagina has. Penetration can tear the tissue inside the anus, allowing bacteria and viruses to enter the bloodstream. This can result in the spread of sexually transmitted infections including HIV. Studies have suggested that anal exposure to HIV poses 30 times more risk for the receptive partner than vaginal exposure. The tissue inside the anus is not as well protected as the skin outside. Our external tissue has layers of dead cells that serve as a protective barrier against infection. The tissue inside the anus does not have this natural protection, which leaves it vulnerable to tearing and the spread of infection.

    “The anus is designed to hold in feaces. The anus is surrounded with a ring-like muscle, called the anal sphincter, which tightens after we defecate. When the muscle is tight, anal penetration can be painful and difficult. Repetitive anal sex may lead to weakening of the anal sphincter, making it difficult to hold in feaces until you can get to the toilet. The anus is full of bacteria. Even if both partners do not have a sexually-transmitted infection or disease, bacteria normally in the anus can potentially infect the giving partner. Practising vaginal sex after anal sex can also lead to vaginal and urinary tract infections.  Anal sex is a perverted, unnatural act. Girls engage in anal sex with their male partners for sexual pleasure while protecting their virginity. You must decide for yourself what feels natural. If you are uncomfortable with any sexual act, don’t do it. You are in charge of what you do sexually.”

  • Why young people are affected by sexual, reproductive problems 

    Why young people are affected by sexual, reproductive problems 

    •Adolescents’ consent ’ll reduce infections, others 

    Many young people are affected by sexual and reproductive health issues, Programme Coordinator, Population Council, Dr Otibho , has said.

    According to her, it is really a challenge for young people who are sexually active to access health services that they need to make themselves healthy as they always need parental and guardians’ consent.

    She spoke at a consultative meeting with adolescents seeking a unified age of consent for the group. The programme was organised by the Population Council in Lagos.

    She said this lack of access would make them to be more susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases and infections(STDs and Is) and unwanted pregnancy, among others.

    Obianwu said anything that has to do with sexuality in Nigeria is very sensitive in the people’s culture, as such, there is a taboo around young people and their sexuality.

    “The Federal Ministry of Health, Population Council and other stakeholders held a meeting sometimes back to discuss whether adolescents can consent for sexual and reproductive health services and research on their own,” she said.

    She said stakeholders have met in July to discuss the issue, adding that the young people did not have a voice as they were not part of the meeting, hence the need for the programme to say what they think.

    Programme Coordinator, Brave Heart Initiative, a Non-Governmental Organisation (NGO), Akoko-Edo, Edo State, Priscilla Ikos Usiobaifo, said young people under 18 often need the consent of their parents to have HIV tests to know their status because of their age.

    She said this programme will help young people agree among themselves on the age that they think they should have consent.

    “Consent means having approval for sexual and reproductive health services, such as HIV and AIDS testing,” she said.

    She said some children are already exposed to sexual intercourse at a tender age, especially orphans and vulnerable indigent children.

    She said most of the young people agreed that they should be allowed to have HIV test at 11 without consent of their parents or guardians.

    Usiobaifo said counsellors are usually made to seek consent of students’ parents before they can counsel them. “The reason is that if you give paracetamol to a student and there is contraindication the person who applies the drug is in trouble,” she said.

    She said they do not see young people as homogeneous, rather as different groups. This, she noted, was because some of them are in school while others are not.

    “There are 16 year old students at the outskirts of the cities or rural areas who are already sexually active. They cannot be compared to those who are not sexually active. They must be handled differently. Those who have been sexually active should be encouraged on how to prevent themselves while those yet to be active should be advised to abstain,” she said.

    Usiobaifo said some of participants were suggesting 18 and above as the appropriate age for marriage, adding that they frowned at child marriage but not age 21 as often suggested by youth.

    She said over 30 adolescents from across Southwest, Southeast and Southsouth participated in the consultative forum.

  • Bayelsa tackles sexual assault against women

    Bayelsa tackles sexual assault against women

    Defilement of girls and sexual assault against women in Bayelsa State will soon be a thing of the past. The state has constituted committee to tackle the problems.

    The Attorney-General and Commissioner for Justice, Mr Kemasuode Wodu said said sexual abuse and assault leave leaves lasting emotional scar on the victims.

    He said some victims even commit suicide, as was the case in Yenagoa recently.  “The government takes this issue very seriously,” he said.

    “The state government has consequently constituted a committee to deal with this issue. The committee which works under the office of the Attorney–General and Commissioner for Justice, is also involved in the prosecution of such cases through the office of the Government Special Prosecutor, A. S. Arthur.”

    Speaking on the new legal year, he said:  “The judges, magistrates and judiciary workers have done exceedingly well.  Succeeding Chief Judges have built on the very solid foundation laid by Justice David Koripamo Ngbuku of blessed memory, who was the pioneer Chief Judge of the state.  He was an apostle of an incorruptible judiciary.

    “Discipline was his watchword, he always sat at 9am.  He was known for swiftly moving against any worker in the judiciary, be it a judge or magistrate or any other staff, that was found wanting, especially with respect to issues of corruption and indiscipline.

    “The state  Chief Judge, Justice Kate Abiri, has kept the flag flying.  Not only is there discipline in the Judiciary, justice delivery in the state is commendable both in terms of quality and speed.”

    The state government, he said, is aware of the need to increase the number of judges in the state High Court to enhance justice delivery.

    Wodu praised the governor and the President of National Industrial Court (NIC) on their efforts in establishing a branch of the court in the state.

    Wodu said: “Upon my assumption of office, the governor graciously supported our quest for the establishment of a Division of the National Industrial Court in Yenagoa.  This became necessary as all labour and industrial relations matters now go to the National Industrial Court and the nearest functional Division of the Court to us is in Calabar, Cross River State.  This means that  for labour or industrial relations matters, we must go to Calabar to seek justice.

    “It is gratifying to report that following efforts of  the governor, the President of the National Industrial Court has approved the establishment of a Division of the Court in Yenagoa.  The state government has, in conjunction with the state Judiciary, provided the necessary facilities for the take off of the court such as furnished Court Hall and accommodation for the judge and other staff.”

    Wodu also called for the establishment of a Division of the Court of the Court of Appeal in the state.

    He said: “The state is blessed with a beautiful riverine  and coastal environment.  We, therefore, have very many communities located far away in the creeks. Though the  government has commenced concerted efforts towards constructing motorable roads to most of those communities, due to the nature of the terrain and the enormity of the funds required, this may take quite some time to achieve.

    “Thus, to be able to access Yenagoa from some of those communities, one would travel for about two to three hours by boat to Delta State before proceeding to Yenagoa by road for about four hours.

    “For these people to proceed again to Court of Appeal, Port Harcourt for the determination of their Appeals is too burdensome to bear.  Oftentimes, because of such constraints, people abandon their appeals.  The end result is that such persons would have been denied access to justice for no fault of theirs.

    “This situation is unfair and not in tandem with the provisions of Section 6(6) of the Constitution, which guarantee access to the court for the determination of one’s civil rights and obligations.

    “There is  the need to establish a Division of the Court of Appeal in Yenagoa, Bayelsa State in order to address this pitiable plight of the people of the state.”

    The Governor, he said, is willing  to partner with the Court of Appeal in the provision of facilities for the take off of the court.  “We must also commend the Chief Judge  for playing a lead role in this issue and for also being ready to support the establishment of a Division of the Court of Appeal in the state also in the area of the provision of initial take off facilities,” he said.

  • ‘Domestic, sexual violence perpetrators must not escape justice’

    ‘Domestic, sexual violence perpetrators must not escape justice’

    Lagos State Attorney-General and Commissioner for Justice Mr. Ade Ipaye has urged the Domestic and Sexual Violence Response Team (DSVRT)  to ensure that offenders are brought to book.

    He observed that  domestic and sexual violence was on the increase because of impunity and the victims failure to give information that would ensure offenders’ prosecution.

    Speaking while inaugurating the team, which he chairs, Ipaye lamented victims’ lack of awareness of their right under the law.

    Members of the committee are from the Police; Office of the Public Defender (OPD); Directorate of the Citizen’s Rights; Directorate of Public Prosecutions; Office of Youth and Social Development; Ministry of Women Affairs;  Poverty Alleviation; the Civil Society and the media.

    The prosecutors,  Ipaye said, have the responsibility to ensure that victims get justice at all times, saying no offender should be made to think that he or she is above the law.

    He urged the committee to coordinate and develop a community response to prevent domestic violence, protect and support victims and bring perpetrators to justice.

    “DSVRT is a specialist team and the purpose of the establishment of the team is to increase victims’ safety and offenders’ responsibility by providing a cross jurisdictional response that is uniform in approach in domestic violence cases across Lagos State,” he said.

    The establishment of DSVCT, he said, will be instrumental in the reduction of domestic and sexual related crimes and ultimately provide some succour to victims of the heinous crimes in the state.

    Ipaye stressed the need for awareness on the part of victims and advised the team to be devoted to education and creation of awareness among all interest groups in order to reduce and prevent incidences of sexual and domestic violence in the state.

    The team, according to Ipaye,  would be  devoted to education and creation of awareness among all interest groups in order to prevent or reduce the incidence of sexual and domestic violence in the state.                                                                                                                                                        According to him, some of the responsibilities of the team include risk assessment and safety planning for victims and children;  conduct research on issues of sexual and domestic violence to improve the knowledge and appreciation of stakeholders and refer victims of sexual and domestic violence to relevant stakeholders for follow up action, proper investigation and prosecution of alleged offenders and treatment of victims.

    Ipaye said an e-mail address and website have been created and a dedicated telephone lines (Toll-Free lines) would be available to members of the public, particularly, victims who may wish to call in and register a complaint.

    The Attorney-General commended Police efforts and other community service organisations, who he noted, are ‘working passionately with a view to tackling this menace’. He pointed out  that it is important to harmonise the efforts and provide a coordinated response to the issue while working towards a common goal.

    The OPD Director, Mrs. Rotimi Omotola demanded that domestic and sexual violence should be one of the cases that should fall under the fast track system in the courts. According to her, it will quicken dispensation of justice and reduce stress on the victim.

    She advised that government should take issues of preservation of evidence very seriously, noting that lack of evidence and inability to protect it have been the reasons why cases are thrown out of court.

    The Director, Directorate of the Citizen’s Rights, Mrs. C.O. Ibirogba suggested the publication of a handbook which will list all legal steps to be taken by victims and other stakeholders to get justice.

    Other members of the team include Senior Special Adviser to Governor Babatunde Fashola on Legal Matters, Mr Gbolahan Adeniran; Ironsi Bose;  Itoro Eze-Anaba;  Keziah Awosika; Oke Mobolaji Olamide;  Modupe Aladelusi;  Adegboyega Bajulaiye; Babajide Martins;  Mosunmola Balogun; Alaba Fadairo;  Titilope Akosa;  Okoro Uche;  Vweta Chadwick; Oghogho Olabisi and  Chinwe Onyeukwu.

     

  • Handling sexual perversion (3)

    Handling sexual perversion (3)

    Dear Reader, I welcome you to the last edition of the series of teaching of the month of July.  I began this teaching on the very first week by examining sexual perversion on fornication and pre-marital sex.

    I said Perversion is a derogatory term for deviation from the original meaning or doctrine, literally ‘turning aside’ from what is perceived to be normal.

    I also defined fornication as any unlawful sexual intercourse between two unmarried man and unmarried woman. I went on to say that pre-marital sex is having a sexual intercourse before marriage.

    Last week, we also examined God’s view on homosexuality and His prescribed remedy. I defined a homosexual as one who is sexually attracted only to people of the same sex as oneself.  Today, being the last edition, I shall be looking at God’s Purpose For Sex.

    As we all know, God is a God of purpose and He never does anything without a purpose. Everything He created has a purpose for creating it. God created us male and female. We saw this in the Word of God: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them (Genesis 1:27).

    It is also good to know that God gave man reproductive organs with which to function effectively in sexual relationship between husband and wife. There is therefore, nothing unclean or dirty about sexual intercourse for the married.  Marriage is only honourable only when the bed is undefiled. If sex is engaged before marriage, the honour is thereby taken away.

    Sexual intercourse is only within the context of marriage and it is a celebration of the covenant of marriage.  God’s creation of sexual union was for good and not for evil. However, any good thing can be perverted when wrongly used.  I have emphasized so much on sexual perversions in our previous teachings.

    I want you to know that God created man with certain basic physiological needs, including sexual needs.  But satisfying this urge ought to be done, decently and in order, within the context of marriage.  Satisfying the sexual urge in extra-marital context is contrary to God’s original purpose of it.

    God knew that man will not be able to live a successful holy life, without satisfying this biological need.  Marriage, therefore, was instituted to meet this need, and at the same time, make it easy to live a holy life.  This does not suggest that marriage is for people who cannot control themselves.

    The truth is that, if you cannot control your sexual drive while single, you will probably not be able to exercise control when you are married.  That means you will be in serious temptation, when your partner is not available.  Self-control is a must, especially for the single persons.  I want us to examine in details God’s purpose for sexual relationship within the marriage institution.

    For Procreation:

    God chose this unique method to replenish the earth and then commanded man to be fruitful: And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth (Genesis 1:28). He gave them reproductive organs with which to carry out this command.

    We are told in Genesis 4:1: And Adam had marital sex with his wife and she conceived (The Living Bible).  This, along with other scriptures, prove that God designed marital sex for procreation.  However, wisdom demands that you plan for the number of children you can raise in the fear of the Lord.

    For Pleasure:

    Talking to husbands about how to relate with their wives physically, the Book of Proverbs says: Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love (Proverbs 5:18-19). God intended that apart from the purpose of procreation, marital sex should give pleasure.

    Statistics show that homes where husband and wife enjoy each other sexually, are the happiest homes.  For the breast of a man’s wife to satisfy him, means the two of them to have pleasure in marital sex.

    However, God expects married couples to give sexual satisfaction to each other.  Sex, in the context of marriage is not dirty or sinful, as some would have us believe.  Marriage is a union of spirit, soul and body; so, it is therefore not complete when the physical aspect is missing.  Sexual union between couples is not just a physical act, it is also symbolic of the oneness of the spirit and soul, and of the mutual submission that God ordained it to be.

    For Intimacy:

    God’s Word says: And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife (Genesis 26:8). “Sporting”, as has been suggested by Bible scholars, may not be marital sex or actual sexual relationship, but foreplay. It must have been intimate enough to suggest to Abimelech that Rebecca was Isaac’s wife.  This, too, is a good and perfect gift from a good and perfect God.  “Playing” intimately with your spouse is not wrong, but rather brings you closer.

    The Bible uses the word “know” to describe the intimate, physical relationship between husband and wife.  One of God’s intentions for marriage, is for the couple to really know one another until they become truly one.  The Bible says: For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh (Matthew 19:5-6).

    The joining to one’s spouse also, describes the act of sexual relationship.  For as a man is joined in physical union to his wife, they will be very close to each other than any other person.  It is only within the context of marriage that guilt does not accompany sexual intercourse. If both man and woman work at making the act of sex more than just an avenue for procreation or the releasing of tension, it becomes a means of enhancing intimacy.

    The act of sex is a fellowship – giving and receiving tender love.  This is what brought comfort to Isaac after the death of his mother, Sarah.  It provided a means of intimate fellowship with someone he loved. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death (Genesis 24:67).

    To Avoid Fornication:

    One other reason why God designed the marriage bed is to ensure that man has a legitimate avenue for releasing sexual tension. Outside the sanctity of marriage, any sexual act, from petting to sporting is sin.  God’s Word says: Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband (I Corinthians 7:1).

    The first and important step you need to take to be free from immoral act of sin is to receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. If this is your desire, then pray this prayer with me: “Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. Cleanse me with Your precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You for saving me. Now I know I am born again!”

     

    Congratulations! You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail: counselling@faithoyedepo.org; Contact@faithoyedepo.org;  Tel. No: 08141320204; 07026385437.

    For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Making Marriage Work, Marriage Covenant, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).