Category: New Woman

  • Clutch a quilted bag!

    Clutch a quilted bag!

    ARE you tired of the normal pattern handbag? And are you looking for something that is stylish, lightweight, and comfortable? Are you fashion crazy about handbag? Are you looking for the trendy and distinct handbag, a bag that is unique, different and stands out in a crowd? Then your best bet is a beautifully crafted quilted handbag. They are the rave at the moment.

    With so many patterns and colours to choose from, you can almost match your wardrobe with your bag. Quilted handbag was first launched in the 1950s and suitable for everyday use; quilted handbags are stylish and available in a wide variety of shapes, sizes and colours. They are made of layers of fabric, held together by patterned stitching.  It is the perfect handbag for all occasions; and what distinguish them from other handbags are the design and shape.

  • Foot care tips for  beautiful feet

    Foot care tips for beautiful feet

    EVERYONE wants to have beautiful feet, especially during the warmer months, when flip flops and sandals are the go-to footwear. Unfortunately, it can be difficult to keep your feet in tip-top shape because they take a lot of wear and tear. They support your weight and get you around, don’t they? If you want to keep your feet looking their best, you have to take steps to preserve and maintain them. Here some ways to keep your feet looking their best all year long:

    1. Wear shoes that fit: Some people are on their feet more than others; for example, hawkers, ushers and those who go on long daily runs, but we should all be wearing comfortable, well-fitting shoes, whenever possible. The wrong shoes will wear your feet down pretty quickly. Shoes that are too small or just rub your feet the wrong way can cause unsightly blisters and corns. You should be especially careful when bringing home a new pair. Most shoes take a while to break in, so you shouldn’t wear those cute new heels three days in a row.

    2. Soak your feet often: From time to time, everyone’s feet will have rough or dry skin. To keep them soft and clean, be sure to soak your feet regularly. There is a number of fancy foot baths out there, but you really just need a bucket of warm water for a good soak. You can add some olive oil and few drops of scented essential oil of your choice (rose essential oil will be great) for additional luxury. It’s best to soak your feet for, approximately, ten to fifteen minutes; otherwise, your feet will become pruned, which isn’t very effective, if you’re trying to remove dead skin.

    3. Scrub: After you’ve soaked your feet for a while, be sure to give them a good scrub to smooth rough or dry areas. You can use a foot or facial scrub if you’d like or you can take your feet out of the water and use a pumice stone to massage the rough areas. Remember: a pumice stone is more effective when your feet are still damp and you should always go with the grain of your feet.

    4. Let your feet breathe: It’s a good habit to take your shoes off after you get home, so that you can let your feet breathe. Otherwise, the sweat and dirt that build up in your shoes during the day (your feet sweat, even if you always wear cotton socks) will continue to wear on your feet after hours. If you allow dirt and sweat to stay on your feet longer than necessary, you’re creating a breeding ground for athlete’s foot and other diseases.

    5. Remove your polish: Over time, nail polish can wear down your nails. Before reapplying new polish, be sure to remove all of the old layers. If you can, let your toenails go polish-free for few hours, and then apply a polish that helps strengthen your nails.

    6. Trim your nails to a suitable length: Broken and ingrown toenails aren’t just unsightly, they’re also painful. To prevent these ailments, make a point to regularly trim your toenails. Just be sure not to make the nail too short, as this can also cause discomfort.

    7. Moisturising treatment: If you want your feet to feel baby soft, you need to invest in a good foot cream or use natural oils. In general, your feet need a thicker cream than the rest of your body, as the skin on your feet is also thicker. Choose a cream with Vitamin E and coconut oil to keep your feet at their smoothest. Coconut oil foot massage is another simple way to soothe and hydrate tired feet. If you have some serious dry skin issues on your feet, try an overnight moisturising treatment: simply massage your feet with cocoa butter and then, put on your favourite pair of cotton socks. Your feet will feel much softer when you wake up in the morning.

    Beautyandtips.com

  • Stepping out of the valley

    CAN two broken hearts melt into one? Yes, sometimes two ‘cracked’ hearts can be resuscitated and you could have something that would last forever. A lot of people who have suffered heartaches can still find their missing ribs, if only they look around carefully. Naturally, their emotions have been blown with the winds and they are just managing to hang on. But from this emotional valley, it is still possible to move out and rediscover something new and adorable.

     This can only happen when the new bird is sincere and willing to flow with you. Interestingly, this is the situation Noami is experiencing at the moment and she is happy that she allowed her heart to step out of the ‘box’. At a distance, Naomi seemed to have the world in her pocket. Friends and neighbours admired and held her in high esteem because of her rare qualities. She was beautiful in and out. A pretty face, great physique and a large heart. Yet, there was just one snag: there was no Romeo in sight. And so everyone made it his or her business to be a great matchmaker just to find our dear friend a Mr. Right.

    “It wasn’t as if I never really found a guy I loved or admired. Unfortunately, he died three months to our wedding. That was a fatal emotional blow, one that I never really recovered from. It actually took me a long while before I started picking the bits and pieces together because my world crumbled at that point.”

    He must have been a wonderful guy, the type that you wish to spend a lifetime with. “Yes, he was a rare personality and he transformed my life while we were together. When I got the news from his younger sister, I was shocked.”

    She kept on wishing it was all a dream and that someone was going to wake her up from this emotional slumber. “Most times, I kept on talking to myself and tell me that it wasn’t true.” Sadly, that never happened and the poor lady’s heart kept on sinking. “By the time I woke up it was almost too late. All the guys I ran into and admired were all married. I was stuck and the ones that desperately wanted my hand were not the kind of guys that I desired.”

     From that point, yours truly was on the receiving end and hung on to life as an emotional beggar with little or no choice at all. Just when she thought that her emotional gates had been padlocked for life, another heart came passing by. “We met at a friend’s wedding anniversary. I knew that all our friends would be at the event and they would all be popping the same question at yours truly. But again, I was lonely and I needed something to fill up this vacuum. To make things easy for me, I had told myself not to take any question seriously and just make myself happy.”

    Like she imagined, almost everyone turned out for the event. Two great minds locked together as one sure deserves everyone’s time and attention. “I sat in a corner and tried to tuck myself away from familiar faces. Unfortunately, one of the busy bodies finally caught up with yours truly. She was clutching a male hand bag and because I hadn’t seen her in a long while, I imagined he was her ‘property’.

    “Well, it turned out that my assumptions were wrong. This was actually another matchmaking episode and yours truly was at the centre of the script. ‘Hello dearie! How are we today? I just saw that you don’t have any company and I thought I should introduce my cousin, Ajibade, to you.’

    “Nonsense! Can’t these people realise that life is not all about having a partner. Who says that I am lonely without a busy body around me?” Trust Shade, she zoomed off almost immediately and didn’t wait for my opinion on the matter. “What am I going to do with this emotional garbage that she dumped on me? We kept starring at one another liked dundies and I felt like running away.

    “Wait a minute! It is not fair to sit on the fence and assume that you are better than the other person. So, I had this desire to help. Poor heart, only God knows who has wounded him this badly. But can two broken hearts melt into one? Then, suddenly, he opens his mouth and started talking. Well, he wasn’t as bad as I thought and in a short while this familiar stranger wormed his way into my heart.”

    The truth of the matter is that a man can be just as afraid or even more afraid of rejection than you are. In order for a man to overcome “shyness” or even his fear of rejection, he has to feel pretty confident in himself or in the idea that if he were to ask you out, you’d respond with a “yes.” Secondly, if you’re always surrounded by a group of people, he may not have the opportunity to be free with you.

    If he’s never had a one-on-one conversation with you, where you’re leading with attraction and flirting back, he may not feel too sure of the situation. This is why it’s important that if you want to maximise the chances that a man will follow up with his attraction for you, you may just have to find a way to engage him. This way he would definitely discover that you are both interested and available.

  • ‘How I discovered my potential’

    ‘How I discovered my potential’

    Mrs. Omolara Adebimpe Obasi, teacher, entrepreneur and motivational speaker, is Managing Director, Divine Fish and Farm Products and President, God Is Able Cooperative Farmers Group, an umbrella body for fish farmers and allied businesses. Mrs. Obasi, who set up shop a few years after the death of her husband, looks back with nostalgia but yet thankful for taking the bold steps, which has made her independent today. She spoke with Ibrahim Apekhade Yusuf  

    For Mrs. Omolara Adebimpe Obasi, life has been one tough journey indeed.

    She was living the good life, with a family well-fed and everything in their proper place. But all that soon fizzled out with the death of her husband in 2005, as her life literally crashed like a pack of cards and a chapter of accidents opened.

    First, a mysterious fire one night razed her apartment, where she lost all her personal effects, including her school certificates, thus making the prospect of getting a new job almost impossible.

    Speaking in a chance encounter with The Nation, the HND graduate of Business Administration from Ogun Polytechnic, Ogun State, (now MAPOLY) momentarily recounts the sad episode of her life.

    “I was once a teacher. I taught for well over 10 years in a private secondary school. But I had to resign because the job became a routine and on top of that the salary was meagre and irregular and could hardly meet up with my family responsibility as a widow,” she recalls.

    Thus, the need to meet existential needs forced her to veer into business from teaching.

    “After resigning my appointment as a teacher, I went into the business of buying and selling farm produce like garri, rice, beans, yam and others. I travelled upcountry to Kano, Delta, Edo, Port Harcourt, etc. Unfortunately in 2006, I was involved in an armed robbery attack along Ogbomoso road, in Oyo State, and I lost everything. I came back home dejected and was at a quandary as to what to do next.”

    A firm believer, she prayed fervently for divine grace with a view to reinventing herself. And all roads seemed to point to farming.

    “Before then, I was involved in subsistence farming at home. I kept a garden at the backyard. I decided to go into farm full blast. In 2008, the Lagos State government organised catfish farming training which I took part in. In 2009, they followed up with training on the processing of catfish and I equally went for it and there and then decided to specialise in the processing of catfish instead of rearing because the latter requires intensive capital.”

    Convinced that fishing is where her destiny lied, she started in 2008 by buying and processing catfish, which she packaged. Despite the initial teething problems encountered, she kept at it. She moved around offices to sell her wares.

    Omolara, who can best be described as a cool, calm and collected person and has been consistently pursuing her passion in the last few years, comes across as one woman who knows what she wants and how to go about it.

    A good mixer and mobiliser, the mother of three, whose youthful looks belies her 47-year-old age, recalls that her business experienced a complete turnaround with the advent of the Rural Finance Institution Building (RUFIN), a rural finance scheme for farmers and allied businesses being implemented in 12 states across the six geo-political zones over a seven-year period and specifically targets marginalised groups such as women, young people and those with physical disabilities backed with funding support from the International Fund for Agricultural Development (IFAD), a UN agency.

    “We formed a cluster of farmers, under the umbrella, God Is Able Cooperative Farmers Group in 2009, through which we have been pursuing our vision of contributing to the food basket of the nation. We have been holding court and have our meeting days. When RUFIN programme came it was announced on radio, TV and the social media. I registered online.

    “I received training on business planning from RUFIN. I didn’t have a plan but after the training, I put up a plan for myself. I set up a farm for myself and bought two plots of farm through RUFIN loan from First Bank Microfinance in 2011. I accessed the sum of N200, 000, added N250, 000.

    “I was able to build up a farm factory through the initial loan from First Bank and followed it up with another credit facility from Bowen Microfinance, which I ploughed back into the business.”

    Ever reinventing herself, she has partaken in different programmes aimed at building her skills set in the area of fish farming. “Two years ago, I went to the Republic of Benin for a capacity-building training on fish farming and I have been involved in other numerous trainings. I’m committed to farming and farming alone.”

    Little wonder she spares no effort to ensure that she is actualising her vision of making catfish a stable food in every home.

    The woman, who easily describes herself as a full-time farmer, says matter-of-factly: “I really don’t buy much, I eat mostly what I produce in the farm.

    “I want to make my product, Alfa fish, a household name like Indomie which is in every home. My vision is to produce and sell catfish at rock bottom price, that way it is easy for anybody to make a purchase. As we speak, the product is selling itself; I don’t have a marketing team as it were. It is mostly on referrals, it sells and advertises itself.”

    Interestingly, in the last three years, she has built a value chain in the business mainly through distributorship.

    “God has given us the grace to cover at least six states and still counting. Abuja was where I got my first customer outside Lagos State. However, the state that is taking our goods more is Kogi State. We also have customers in Jos, Kaduna, Kano, Lokoja, Abia, Anambra. When Abuja began to buy, most of my customers I didn’t know them…

    “At least 80 per cent of my customers I don’t know them. What I do is that they pay to my account and I make sure I deliver on schedule. Wholesale price is N1, 000.  So the distributors now have to add their own margin at their different locations. They cover their transportation.”

    Omolara, who has since acquired the sobriquet, ‘Alfa fish’, on account of her newest passion, which is rearing, processing and selling branded catfish under her own label, says business has been good.

    She makes an estimated profit of N50, 000 per week, which is an average of N200, 000 monthly, which is not bad for a woman, for whom suffering became a metaphor of existence when she lost her husband.

    With her foray in business, her social standing has improved significantly. Her life is back on an even keel as she is now a household name at Igbopa London, Abule Eko, an agrarian community in Ijede, Ikorodu, Lagos.

    “The more my customer base grows, the more I need to expand. Right now, I produce every week. It is my desire to build a packaging room, oven centre, processing centre, changing room, the store because we’re looking beyond Nigeria.”

    The next step for her, she says, is the export market. She is already in talks with NAFDAC to get the products certified.

    With a can-do spirit as hers, that dream will not take much longer to materialise.

  • Pursue your destiny (XXII)

    Dear Temilolu,

    Congratulations to you for keeping faith with the call of God. In just one year, you have impacted and imparted lives you may never even meet here on earth. You are God’s response to a need in the world. You are the answer to a question that God knew would be asked in your generation. Every Sunday, your write-ups cause celebrations and joy in heaven. The lord will increase and strengthen you in Jesus name. You will not fail in Jesus name. Amen.

    Pastor Muyiwa

     

    Dear Temi,

    I could hardly believe your write-up on your ministry. You must be pro-life. I pray God’s spirit will continue to abide in you. May God bless you and keep you for the salvation of souls. Amen.

    S Pat-Natson (Kaduna)

     

    Dear Aunty Temilolu,

    I am a 300 level student of the University of Ibadan. I am writing to encourage you ma. I am thrilled at how much you love God and reverence Him in your articles without caring whose ox is gored. You are a role model to me as I see myself running a ministry similar to yours. Please I want you to be my mentor.

    Folakemi J.

     

    Wonderful Nigerians,

    I am happy to be with you again today. And I welcome you all to school on Sunday. A few weeks back just before I published Fatima’s story I began a topic titled   REBRAND YOUR SPIRIT and explained that just as the spirit of God wishes to dwell in us, illuminate our inner man and give us the best things in life so also the devil competes to have our mind and soul so he can make a mess of God’s wonderful plans for us. One of his ways of gaining entry is through certain negative elements in us which we could also call bad spirits. So far I have discussed one of these bad spirits which is Anger and also gave tips on how to get rid of it before it rids us of what rightfully belongs to us. Today, I’ll be discussing Pride.

    Pride is a satanic spirit. I call it satanic because it was what fell Lucifer. God said, “Thou wast perfect in thy ways from the day that thou wast created, till iniquity was found in thee” Ezekiel 28:15. This beautiful, powerful, intelligent, and gifted cherub fell from his perfect estate when his heart was lifted up because of his own beauty and brightness (v. 17). No longer was he willing to be subservient to his Creator-God. No wonder the saying goes “pride goes before a fall.”

    Pride is a sin and clearly an anti-God spirit which defiles the soul and one’s entire existence.

    “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”  Mark 7:21-23

    We all fall prey to it because of the natural respect we have for ourselves as individuals. No wonder Solomon advises us in Proverbs 4:23 to guard our heart as out of it flows the course of our life.

    When Solomon refers to guarding the heart, he really means the inner core of a person, the thoughts, feelings, desires, will, and choices that make that person who he/she is. The Bible tells us that our thoughts often dictate who we become (Proverbs 23:7; 27:19). The mind of a man reflects who he really is, not simply his actions or words. That is why God examines the heart of a man, not simply his outward appearance and what he appears to be (1 Samuel 16:7).

    “   The fear of the Lord is to hate evil: pride, and arrogance, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.” Proverbs 8:13 (KJV)

    “Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord: though hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished.”  Proverbs 16:5 (KJV)

    God hates it when we are proud. Now, how can God dwell in such a heart? It casts a dark shadow and evil weight over our souls.

    A proud man thinks of himself as higher than someone else. Are you one of those who would rather mingle with the rich even in your church than the poor? Are you one of those who give the lowly in your church a wide berth and a haughty look? Are you one of those who make them wish they were never born? Funny thing is that this so-called wealthy people get the attention of the leadership of the church more than the poor and lowly even when they are obviously thieves. Is your car too clean to give a fellow church member a ride? Have you ever considered the fact that you could be very poor? But by God’s grace you have what you have. Is your attitude to the common promoting the kingdom of God or giving God’s children pain? What’s the use of being proud anyway? It only reduces God’s presence in your life and allows the devil in. Period!

    Every Christian is locked in a constant, intense war with demonic forces. Many of us become so intent on fighting the external spiritual war that we forget that much of our battle is not with external forces, but with our own mind and thoughts.

    Pride is a device that can be so easily woven into anyone’s life.  It is an abomination to God and it must be kept in check.

  • Coping with the odds

    To be or not to be. That obviously is the question you ask yourself when you want to go into a new venture, a relationship or a career path. First you need the conviction to go on because that would be the foundation on which so many other things would be laid.

    Once you are sure that you are on the right path, and then it would be smooth sail. But if for some reasons you just cannot find a good answer to your question or questions, then you may be at the crossroads.

    This scenario also plays itself out in our relationships. Most times, a lot of lovebirds are at affection’s crossroads. Yes, you admire someone very well but there are some unanswered questions.

    This is exactly the stage in which Lauretta is at the moment. She has a crush for this guy but there are so many odds against the survival of that relationship. Should she forget this dream or pursue her heart’s desire and damn all the other consequences. Somehow, she decided to be a dreamer and the dream came with memories of gains and pains.

    Scroll down memory lane and you find her recalling some of the happy moments.

    It started on a bright afternoon at a Lagos registry with some friends. Wedding bells were certainly ringing in style here and in a couple of minutes these lucky hearts were tied together and admonished to live happily together forever. They were happy for a while but it was not forever.

    Riveting in your mind are questions about the real status of lovebirds. Are they truly in love? Would they be ready to make the necessary sacrifices required to make it to the end? Or could this just be a public show of affection, a show that would likely come to an abrupt end.

    Well, the truth of the matter is that it takes only two hearts to determine how far they are going to go in a particular relationship. It can be a continuous marathon love race if they are both sincere, determined and have the same emotional dreams about the future.

    Even though you just couldn’t take a look at the different hearts to know exactly what they are thinking or imagining, you realise that this lucky fellows have finally scaled the first hurdle.

    Also at another registry recently, you find Kate and Henry hanging onto each other so passionately. They walked out of the registry smiling and smiling.  The photographer clicked on and on, trying to keep the memories for posterity. Images they could turn to and remember the very beginning. Images children from the union are likely to laugh about, pass the usual comments and compare notes.

    Apart from the smiles, there was nothing really interesting about the new couple. They looked so different in outlook and you wonder if they were really meant for each other or was it one of those arrangements? All this may not really count; the most important thing is if the hearts were united.

    United in love forever. They are not alone. It’s D-day and 12 marriages have been fixed and everyone is eager to sign the dotted lines. Take a deep look into the crystal ball and you find gaps in different areas of their lives. These include age disparity, height, weight, class and dress code.

    Anyway, what has age got to do with love? It is just a number and it does not guarantee whether a relationship is going to work or not. If you have two people who are both in the same age bracket, you would expect them to share certain things in common. Interestingly, this does not guarantee the success of their relationship, there was some other cogent reason to hold on to each other in love.

    Also when you talk about the height of the couple, you can also imagine what people dream or desire. Women naturally would want a guy who is taller than they are whilst the prince charming would prefer same height or slightly shorter than he is. But the truth of the matter is that all these grand rules of affection have been broken and replaced with other reasons based on the expectations of the lovebirds. It is always important to weigh the options and select what would be best for you. It is not about sympathy, you must make sure that you are going to fit in and enjoy this new beginning.

    When you finally make up your mind, then you are in charge. If this is not the case, then we can say that you have been boxed into an emotional corner. It is not the best because you are going to be complaining and grumbling all the time.

    So it is better to cross check and be sure that you have played the right game, you need to be sure that your heart beat is chanting the right love anthem and this would help to reconcile your love account.

    But if the love pendulum is not balanced, then the lovebirds need make use of the positive love currents to get back on track. It is a very pertinent stage and you must be sure that it is what you really want.

    For all you know, it may just be mere infatuation, something that would only carry on for months or a few years. When it lapses and you may just want to run away. However, the truth of the matter is that you would have created a big vacuum, a vacuum nothing or nobody can ever fill again.

  • ‘We’re recycling same old people in leadership’

    ‘We’re recycling same old people in leadership’

    Iheoma Obibi has two masters in Creative Writing and Communications Policy Studies from Manchester Metropolitan University and City University, London. The Ashoka fellow is also the Executive Director of Alliances for Africa. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she talks about her passion, women empowerment and more.

    International Women’s Day has just been celebrated all over the world, do you think that women’s empowerment is in the right direction?

    Women’s empowerment has to continue from where the MDGs left off. We are still way behind other parts of the world in ensuring that women have access to loans and other facilities in which to start a business or even keep their businesses afloat.

    We are in year 2015, the year set for the achievements of some MDG’s for women, how have we fared?

    As for the 2015, it is rather obvious that we have not made significant achievements in the areas of violence against women, in access to health care, with relation to infant and maternal mortality.

    Would you say that women are doing well in terms of leadership opportunities?

    On the surface, it looks like we have done exceptionally well, but let’s interrogate what we have. As we prepare for the elections, it is rather obvious to anyone, even those armchair critics, that we have lost more women wanting to be part of the electoral process. Due to the very nature of how our political process works, few women want to be part of an aggressive party process. Many worry about electoral violence and the implications for them and their families.

    What do you think are some of the achievements made so far?

    As for other leadership opportunities, there are some achievements recorded there, but it seems like with many things Nigerian, there is little room for the young to develop. We are recycling the same old people, be they men or women. There must be a better way to ensure that we can get young people involved. Remember, our definition of a young person is questionable at best of times. Anything up to 55 years. I know, unbelievable.

    What are the new challenges for women?

    We do not need to look far. We need to look at regional integration and implications for cross border trade in the light of the Boko Haram threats and its effect on our food security. We are facing a serious threat to our food source because if people in communities known as the bread basket of Nigeria cannot farm and make money for fear of being kidnapped and raped, then we have a crisis which is brewing. Additional challenges are the fall of the naira and the ability for SMEs to import. However, lack of power and other basic facilities all are challenges for women running businesses and trying to keep their heads above water.

    A lot of women fall into the small business owner category, do you think that the business environment is friendly enough?

    As a small business owner, I would say that the environment is not friendly. It is very difficult to get anything done in a manner that is timely and efficient for your business. From fulfilling all regulatory requirements, to making demands on the necessary statutory bodies.

    Accessing credit facilities to move small businesses to the next phase is usually a challenge, how can they do this without stress?

    As a small business owner, I have also been looking to access credit facilities. But like everyone else, the interest rates being offered are not realistic or feasible.

    Would you say that technology has helped to improve the business environment for women?

    Yes, technology has been crucial and critical in ensuring that as many businesses interested in using social media can. It is a completely different language, but it is worth understanding and doing well. You can sit in the comfort of your home and organise everything from paying and buying with your paga to using paypal; paying your suppliers, to vendors, to customers making purchases. Technology has to a certain extent revolutionised the way business is done.

    Tell us about life as an entrepreneur

    I run a sex-positive online adult store called www.myintimatepleasureshop.com and whilst it has been a fantastic opportunity to learn new skills and to test e-commerce opportunities, it has all been extremely challenging. To begin with, people are stunned that anyone can run such business. Then individual stereotypes kick in; you’re a woman, you’re married, you’re this and that. Once you have surmounted those prejudices, getting access to loans of any sort is an impossibility and in my case I was supported hundred percent by my husband.

    He made it possible for my business to move from idea to being established and has always been able to provide support either financial or emotional. The challenges are real and worrisome because we cannot all venture into the buying and selling of shoes and bags which has provided an income for many women. In terms of achievements, I am very happy to test the boundaries, given my antecedents in the women’s movement.

    People are also comforted and assured that I am for real. Not some random person seeking to exploit them and laugh at their problems. I am pleased to note that there is a discussion taking place online at least on the wider issues on intimacy in relationships and I am glad that my business is one of those creating the space for this to happen safely for women. In terms of the strategies used to survive, I would say that we are all affected by the current devaluation of the naira and the implications for importers. It is a good time to remind buyers that fake personal pleasure items cannot be substituted for the originals. There are fake Chinese vibes in the market and these have materials that are TOXIC for the body. Buyers need to beware and be careful.

    Cheaper is not always better. Our products are US and EU certified. My life as an entrepreneur is recent and the business opportunity seriously fell into my lap. I had been providing advice and counselling around intimacy issues for years. So it was a natural progression.

    How would you describe life as a skilled trainer and how has this impacted on the society?

    As a long time trainer, this has been a rewarding bit about learning-life skills. I use this skill all the time in organising training of trainers’ workshops, and more recently in my business where we conduct monthly trainings on effective communications in relationships.

    Let’s talk about some memorable moments in your career.

    There have been several memorable moments in my career and I am not sure where to begin. Starting my business has got to be the highlight for me because I have worked in social justice since I was 18 years and to start a new venture now is just awesome. I am amazed at myself and what God has bestowed on me. I am excited for the future.

    If you had to advise women, what would you tell them?

    My advice would be to follow your heart and calling. Get your family members to buy-in to your idea, because they will be your biggest promoters and supporters. Understand the regulatory framework and what they demand from you as an SME. Get a book keeper to do your books and ensure that all is well.

  • Pursue your destiny (XXI)

    Pursue your destiny (XXI)

    The God of Abra’am praise

    Who reigns enthroned above:

    Ancient of everlasting days,

    And God of love:

    Jehovah, Great I AM,

    By earth and heaven confess’d

    I bow and bless the sacred name

    For ever bless’d.

    The whole triumphant host

    Give thanks to God on high;

    Hail father, Son, and Holy Ghost,

    They ever cry.

    Hail Abra’am’s God and mine,

    I join the heavenly lays:

    All might and majesty are Thine,

    And endless praise.

    –  J. Stainer

     

    Dear Sisters and every fan of this column,

    What shall we say unto the Lord, all we have to say is thank you Lord!

    Our column, God’s column – The Girls Club – is a year old today. I hear you say “really?” How time flies! It’s been an awesome 52 weeks of sharing with you all what God breathes upon me and while I’m grateful that so many lives of both males and females, young and old have been positively touched, I am most grateful to God because it has also been a learning process for me as well. Your constant text messages have encouraged me immensely and I pray for you with all my heart that God will make you a greater weapon, bless the work of your hands and make your children very great. And for my sisters all over the world, I can only wish them the very best in life and a quick manifestation of their beautiful dreams. Indeed, with God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. A life without the spirit of God is a life in total darkness and a devil’s play ground. It’s a waste of time on earth. We are all entitled to more than we can ever imagine. All we need do is to concentrate on Him at a young age so He can direct us on the way to go. Unfortunately, a lot of parents, especially mothers, have for one reason or the other ignored their responsibilities in bringing up their daughters while others practically push their daughters towards the wrong direction just to satisfy their financial needs. This brought about the Chastity Campaign in the markets where mothers are enlightened on the importance of encouraging their daughters to stay chaste and protect the virtues God has given them to be productive and enjoy their divine entitlements.

    It is a well-known fact that this generation has lost its senses to ungodly sex and the devil has cashed in on that to truncate uncountable destinies the world over. Millions of stars which were created to be weapons in the hands of God have been shut down such that a lot of females never discover their purpose in life till they die.

    The Girls Club is geared towards raising girls who would thirst for righteousness even under severe hardship and practice holiness within and without. It is set to assist girls in discovering their stars and thereby become global icons/leaders while enjoying all God has promised in the bible. It is also set to raise girls to become giants in the supernatural by encouraging them to constantly rub minds with God by reading the bible day and night and by fasting and praying without ceasing. It is poised to push girls all over the world into having dominion over their lives by engaging in spiritual warfare.

    We thank God for this divine mandate and pray that His mighty power continues to be with us till eternity.

    Our School on Sunday continues next week. May God bless The Nation news paper and make it very great. AMEN!

  • Memories from the past

    For Cecilia, the past few months have been chaotic indeed. The lady in her mid thirties has had to work on so many projects and family engagements that could not be shelved. Personally, her philosophy in life is that what must be done must be done well. So, she put all her resources and energy into the activities and made sure everything was in order.

    By the time she was sure that everything was okay, Cecilia realised that the stress had taken a toll on her health. She decided that it was better to take a break for two weeks. Naturally, travelling came to her mind and she made arrangements to go out of town for a while.

    It was fun and Cecilia met new friends. Fortunately or unfortunately, two days before the end of this memorable holiday, Cecilia slipped and got a dislocation in the right arm. What a pity! The pain was simply unbearable and the trauma made her forget the sweet memories she had just experienced. She then had to ask for an extension of her leave to sort out this silly arm that now became the centre of attention.

    Her boss granted the leave extension and advised her to take things calmly. The first few days and weeks were very traumatic for her. The arm ached so badly and she wondered why it chose to happen at this point. As a matter of fact, the strain reminded her about the bitter memories from her last relationship. “Emeka was an ungrateful idiot. When I met him, he had no job, no house and was nothing except his degree. At that point, he looked very humble and appeared to be righteous.” She strongly believed in impacting people’s lives and she began to help him open doors that had been closed for so long. “I had some savings in the cooperative society of the organisation that I was working for and I was allowed to borrow twice as much. I gave the money to Emeka to start a business and he was very happy at that point.”

    Was that a smart thing to do? Well, we can’t really blame her because love is about giving and sharing. “He used the money to start a business and things went right. I also introduced him to a number of friends and acquaintances and he got a number of contracts in the process.”

    Two years down the lane, Emeka’s fortune changed, and for his sweetheart, this was the best time to show gratitude. She was wrong! Just before she realised that she had made a mistake, he began to tell her that she was not fit to be his better half. “Suddenly, he began to complain about my dress sense and a number of other things. I told him that I would change and he agreed to give me another chance.”

    Was this lover boy truly going to give our friend a second chance? “About six months after, I got a letter from Emeka, saying that he had travelled to the United States and that he had married someone else.” Poor Cecilia, she was devastated and her heart sank. She promised never to fall in love again. Thinking about this grand betrayal now made her health deteriorate. Interestingly, the doctor on duty took a keen interest in her. It turned out that he was another victim of love and somehow they got closer and closer. He turned out to be the man she had been waiting for all this while.

    The big question here, is how do you find your bearing when you are at an emotional crossroads? First, it is important not to play the blame game. Assigning blame will cause the other person to either get defensive or feel worthless. Neither of those feelings promotes peace in a relationship. When blame enters into the conversation, then one person becomes the victim and the other becomes the reason why bad things are happening. Does that sound like a platform for a loving and peaceful relationship? You are in this relationship together and assigning blame just creates a separation in your partnership.  Resist the temptation to assign blame, band together, and work through the situation like partners.

    One other thing that you need to do is to remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. When we are upset with our partner, it is easy to focus on what we think they did wrong, or even what we think is wrong with them. How productive is that mindset? What we focus on expands and becomes more noticeable. Wouldn’t it be better to remind yourself what you love about this person and why you fell in love with them in the first place? If you want a happy and peaceful relationship, apply the life skills of positive thinking and positive focus.

    If you find yourself feeling moody and argumentative, focus on the blessings in your life. Focus on the deep value that your partner has added to your life. By shifting your focus, you shift your state away from the negative and toward the positive.

  • ‘We have talents wasting on the streets’

    ‘We have talents wasting on the streets’

    Ukalina Opuwari is a dance director at the Society for the Performing Arts in Nigeria. The Mass Communication graduate of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka, also won the Maltina Dance All Competition in 2008. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she talks about the highpoints in her career, the challenges and prospects

    WHAT is your duty as dance director at the Society for the Performing Arts in Nigeria (SPAN)?

    My duty as a dance director is to co-ordinate every dance activity that happens in SPAN. I also make sure we have trained teachers handling classes, good choreographers to handle our performances, to ensure that people are constantly training and becoming better so they can also train others. It is also to organise the dancers and make sure the department runs smoothly.

    What are some of the achievements recorded?

    For me, I would say that the achievements will be in two parts. First, I would say that the department has trained numerous teachers, choreographers, performers and dancers who are outstanding in their fields and have featured in reality shows and won competitions. These include events in and outside the country.  We have also developed communities dance-wise and are constantly a source of inspiration to the youths! We have empowered youths to be able to stand on their own and to understand what it means to be a professional and if you go down in history for the last ten years, you will discover that most of the big names in the dance industry came out of SPAN.

    The other aspects of achievement are personal! I have evolved from just being a performer to an educator and much more. I have been opportune to travel to many places and have met international stars in the dance industry, especially in Latin and Ballroom.

    Tell us about some of the projects that you have participated in  

    There are many, but I will name a few. I won Maltina Dance All 2008 and I was an instructor for about three seasons and in the past two seasons I was the regional judge. I was the choreographer for Miss Queen Nigeria 2014. I played a major character in Love is the Musical Season 1-4. I have played a major character in Amstel Malta Showtime “THE RUSH” and also in “REALVOLUTION” during the re-launch of the Legend drink.

    I was also the regional judge for Hip Hop World International and also a judge in International Dance Organisation competition. I performed alongside Osas Ighodaro during the opening of the AMVCA 2015 and currently the presenter for DANCE AND LEARN, a dance show on Cool TV.

    What are some of the challenges encountered?

    In the dance industry, the major challenge is financial support and acceptance. Right now, we are accepted as part of the entertainment industry but not totally, as we are not appreciated as we should be. Also, the educative part is still suffering as we are yet to attain that excellence needed in the business. Many factors are not helping matters which are first and foremost the absence of good facilities. Unfortunately, this is not good enough, with the way our nation is, the survival of many talents is minimal.

    How do you cope with some of these challenges?

    I honestly am determined like some others not to be put down by these challenges. Our passion is our strength and daily I work harder so that the next generation can achieve much more and be better. They can have more access and be able to understand that this is serious business.

    Let’s talk about your antecedents; why you chose your career line as well as the first job that you did?

    Since I realised I had the gift naturally and it made me happy, I pushed to become a performer extraordinaire and to also pass the knowledge to the young ones. I never saw myself doing a white collar job but in the performing arts. So, it chose me. Yes, I have passion for presenting as well as I like to talk and be in front of the camera and dish out my wildest thoughts. I worked in a radio station for a while in Port Harcourt but I wanted to dance, so I threw everything into my dance career.

    Let’s talk about some of the memorable moments in your career and life

    The first memorable moment for me was when I won Maltina Dance All Season 2 with my family. The second experience for me was when I got certified as the first lady teacher in Nigeria in Latin and Ballroom and being part of SPAN. Finally, my proposal in Las Vegas, which is still ongoing.

    Who or what do you consider as the greatest influence in your life?

    My greatest influence will be my background, my family, Ice Nweke, Sarah Boulos, Diane Jarmolow, all the staff and students in SPAN. Most especially kids… I love kids and they sure influence the way I do things.

    How would you describe the efforts put in by government in the music and entertainment industry in Nigeria?

    They are trying but they need to do more. The music industry grew without much help from the government and the same for the dance; which is trying to find its feet. We need more facilities and training to match up with what is out there. We have raw talents roaming the streets without financial support. Only a few have been able to push through and they are still fighting to survive. There is no insurance whatsoever, so people are taking risks daily physically, financially and mentally; this is why some parents don’t allow their kids to go into it because they feel there is no future in it. The government has to come on board by supporting institutions that work hard to gather these talents and give them hope and to also build what will cater for our needs; to give scholarship to exceptional citizens in this field so there will be continuity and hope for the future.

    How would you compare what you are doing with other colleagues in the other parts of the world?

    I would say we are exceptionally powerful and gifted. We are so passionate yet undisciplined. They work harder at what they can do and perfect it daily; we get distracted with many things and at the end we don’t even get to our maximum. We are creative but lack the support to bring that to pass.

    What changes would you like to see in the next five years?

    I would like to see dance institutions in every state and performing art centres. I want dance to be a profession on its own and to see more trained dancers, teachers and choreographers. I want people who are gifted to be able to channel it in the right direction and for Nigerian dance styles to be exported and known worldwide. I want to see people appreciated for their contribution and hard work; for the kids to take dance as part of their subjects.  Above all, I want to see a community of dancers and the fact that they are respected.

    Who are some of the people that you admire?

    There are so many people who have impacted on my life that I admire. First of all, my mum, my sisters, Pastor Nonso Ubajekwe, Sarah Boulos, Ice Nweke, Olufunmi Olajoyegbe, Bright Gain, Buddy Agedah, Lovette Otegbola, Lilian Yeri, Penny Mohammed, Diane Jarmolow, Bunmi Olunloyo, Joanna Leunis, Isabella Lewandowski and Catherina Galas.