The Nation Newspaper

Category: New Woman

  • Honouring mothers

    Honouring mothers

    MOTHERS are known for their selflessness. They are always there for their children and the family. They are the miracle every child needs to be at their best. Scroll down memory lane and her face comes to mind; the woman who helped you tie your shoes, read your book, learn a new piece on the piano. At Christmas or every other festive season, even though money was always tight, she consistently pulled off a miracle and made the season magical and memorable.

    It was mom.

    To celebrate mothers and encourage mothers-to-be to live up to expectations, there have been rewards for outstanding mothers by those who appreciate their worth. This year’s edition of the prestigious annual Working Moms Awards will hold on the 6th of December at the Eko Hotel and Suites on Victoria Island, Lagos.

    Organisers of the awards, Access Media Limited, in a statement recently, noted that the award launched in 2013 aims to recognise mothers who strive between the herculean task of working in the ever-challenging corporate world, and at the same time striking a balance at the home front.

    It called for nominations from Nigerians to nominate working mothers who have succeeded in combining career or business with the management of the home. Nominations in ten different categories include Working Mom of the Year, Working Mom in the Media, New to Motherhood, Best Company for WMA, Mom in Banking/Finance, Power Mom, Bump Up Mom, Super Mom, Trailblazer Moms and Momprenuer. There are also three special categories, namely: Power Mom, Mom to Greatness and Mother Theresa Award.

    Mrs. Mary Ikoku, Project Director, WMA, noted that moms play major roles in the society. “Through their work at home, at the office and in our communities, they provide support within their families, work, and businesses. Through volunteers, they run or actively participate in the many support organisations within the community,” she said.

    She added that “Moms also serve on the leadership teams of government and public sector, private organisations, entrepreneurship and NGOs where they are given the opportunity to exert their influence.”

    Ikoku who has had close contact with them further stated: “These women have succeeded in balancing both work and family and distinguished themselves among their colleagues and also in their communities, serving as positive role models and mentors in our society and are therefore worthy of recognition and acknowledgements for their achievements within the family and wider society.”

  • Getting ready to birth new star

    Getting ready to birth new star

    Giving the young ones new opportunities usually bring out the best in them. Yetunde Oladeinde takes a look at a new talent hunt for children that seek to empower them in different areas of life.

    ZURIEL Oduwole and Malala are young girls, but they have made a mark all over the world. They discovered their innate talents and ran with it in a positive way. Naturally, there is some hidden talent and skill in every child which many leave untapped, which has resulted in so many idle hands and brains in the society today.

    Interestingly, a group of Nigerian women have come together to seek ways to empower the average Nigerian child through a talent hunt project tagged “Star Rising.” Kay Ovia, the CEO of Quantum Markets and initiator of the talent hunt, declares that they would be showcasing talent in singing, dance and mastery of musical instruments. “This is a long term thing and not just the one-off thing where only prizes are given. We plan to make the children arm themselves with adequate knowledge, to restore what some of the children have lost as well as make them believe in themselves.”

    In addition, Ovia went on to say: “Most talent hunt projects attract a fee, but this one is free. It is not to make money, so the entry and audition is totally free. It is an opportunity to come and have an enabling environment to showcase your talent. We are here to mentor, coach them and at the end of the day they would become great patriots for the nation.”

    Ovia continued: “We also have an academic and mental exercise for students of the senior secondary school bracket. Contestants would be quizzed on subjects such as Mathematics, English, General Knowledge, current global affairs and the sciences.”

    The vision, Ovia explained, would be to use the star rising centres across Nigeria to create outstanding patriots who will be able to hold their own on the world’s centre stage. “We are going to discover, hone and nurture God-given talents. This would be done through free counselling and mentoring programmes for children within the age bracket of seven to 17 years. Sadly, a number of projects people have for children are actually for teenagers.”

    She added:  “It would not just be about singing and dancing alone but developing talents in different areas. The team will therefore be providing talent development classes. We will also provide a well equipped modern library. The mastermind is for the teenagers, especially those in upper secondary school. To make our selections, we did not go to schools for the rich and famous. There are lots of children that do not have the opportunity that need to be reached. These are our targets and that is why we are going to government schools and the orphanages. You would be amazed at the raw talents that we found in these schools and I know that the judges would select the best.”

    Safety and security measures, Ovia informed, have also been put in place during the audition and grand finale. “Preparations for the project started from February and we have the consent of parents and guardians. I really believe in the children who are the future of our country. We would inspire them and teach them how to innovate.”

    Ngozi Eze, a member of the team, opined that “there is a need to give the young ones a better direction.” This is the first edition and we are working with 25 schools randomly across Lagos State. When we got to some of the schools selected, the team was amazed with the enthusiasm shown by the students. We are going to pick two students from each school. There is enthusiasm in the air and Christmas is around the corner.”

    Eze stated that “there is a second part to the project and it is called, ‘The mastermind’. Unfortunately, schools did not resume early this year because of Ebola and we have moved this to be a major event next year. The motive is to tell the young ones that you can’t do anything without education. This is very important, so that our young people do not end up as all talents and no brains.”

    Children, Eze stressed, cannot afford to be in the background because a lot of things have changed, thanks to technology. “The initiative would help to push our kids in the right direction. The truth is that most of our children are stars.  All they need is encouragement that they can do it. A number of those who would be mentoring and monitoring these children are heavyweights in the entertainment industry. The list includes Kaffy, Sasha, Nedu, Chidinma and Davido. Our desire is to make it nationwide and by next year we would take entries from different parts of the country.”

  • ‘I seize every opportunity that comes my way’

    ‘I seize every opportunity that comes my way’

    Dr Comfort Iyabo Amah Momoh is an M.B.E health specialist in female genital mutilation (F.G.M).  The amazon is indeed one of Nigeria’s best medical experts who is making an impact in the United Kingdom. She was recently awarded an M.B.E for services to women’s health care, and an honorary doctorate from Middlesex University. In an exclusive interview with MODUPE AHMED ADAMSON, she talks about her impact in female genital mutilation, amongst other issues.

    WHAT’S your latest project on (FGM) female genital mutilation, for the Nigerian/Ghanaian women living in Nigeria since you are based in the United Kingdom?

    My latest project on FGM was the scoping visit in America in January and in Nigeria in April this year. The aim was to find out what is currently happening in both countries and to forge collaboration and a global movement as well. Also, I recently had a study on FGM for professionals on 29th October 2014 to raise awareness of FGM and safeguarding issues.

    You opened London’s African Women’s Well Clinic at St Thomas Hospital. How much impact has the clinic had in helping women all over Africa and the world?

    The clinic was set up in September 1997 to provide a support service to women who have undergone FGM, due to recommendation from a multidisciplinary working group within Lambeth Southwark and Lewisham Boroughs in London.

    In 1996, the working group concluded that there was probably a significant increase in the number of women with FGM attending maternity, gynae and FPC, which resulted in the establishment of the AWWC.

    The clinic is run by me and my team trained in the care of women with genital mutilation.

    I provide training and support at local, national and international levels. The clinic has been able to collaborate and work with other groups such as the government, professional bodies, NGOs, professionals, and the communities to raise awareness of FGM and to empower women and girls. We have made impact in the UK, Africa and the world. The research undertaken in countries such as Somaliland, Gambia, Chad and Sierra Leone has found that the younger generation is willing to end FGM.

    The impact of my clinic is that it has made FGM more of a talking point rather than a taboo subject, young people are now speaking out about their experiences.

    The clinic has also helped a multidisciplinary and holistic approach to FGM, empowering women, support professionals at clinical settings, networking and expanding knowledge and skills.

    How did all this start? Your mother is a Nigerian, your father is a Ghanaian what was your childhood days like, and how has it shaped your being a midwife/public health official you are today?

    I will always be very grateful to my country Nigeria and my paternal grandmother who brought me up. I was born and raised in Nigeria, and attended the very famous Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH) in Lagos. I have fond memories of this and in particular my childhood in Nigeria and this really shaped, moulded and defined who I am today. I have always had a caring personality and a strong passion for women and babies. During the course of my studies in Nigeria, I remember the life-changing moment which led me down the path of FGM. Friends back in LUTH then told me how their cousins/sisters died from excessive bleeding following FGM. I remember asking my grandmother about FGM, unfortunately she didn’t have an answer as she herself was unaware of the practice as FGM is not practiced in her tribe.

    I have always and, if given the opportunity, will come back home (where it all started) to give back to my community.

    Yes, my paternal grandparents are from Ghana; my dad was born in Nigeria and worked for the Nigerian High Commission until he retired a few years ago.

    I came to the UK in mid 80s to further develop myself, studied for my midwifery, BSc in Women’s Health and MSc in Public Health.

    What was the experience like in 1997, when you worked as an adviser to the World Health Organisation (WHO) on the issue of (FGM) and in 2001 represented the United Kingdom at the United Nations Commission on the status of women?

    Working for the WHO and representing the UK was a fulfilling experience. I had the opportunity to work with top people on this issue. I met government officials – (I was invited to WHO in 1997 by Efua Dorkeeno who was with WHO back then to look at the FGM Module for professionals). Unfortunately, Efua passed away a few weeks ago (18th October 2014), however, her legacy will definitely continue. She started the work and campaign on FGM in the early 80s here in the UK. May her soul rest in perfect peace.

    I was also in New York at the UN Commission on the status of women, representing the UK to promote and showcase our excellent work on FGM as a holistic approach and best practise.

    How much impact have you made in the lives of rural women, your driving force and challenges?

    My passion in women’s health is key to what really drives and motivates me to work in this area, not only on FGM but on all women’s issues i.e. trafficking, violence against women and honour killings. I care about the world I live in and the welfare of young people and their families.

    My impetus is to support and make differences in lives (women, girls and their family).  For me, it’s about supporting the most vulnerable group and being in a position to offer skills and empower the most vulnerable in our society. As a specialist,  I am privileged to bring new life into the world, I never take what I have for granted. I believe that I seize every opportunity that comes my way to educate and empower women to hold their vision tightly in their hands and only let it go when sharing it with others.

    I hope and believe that I have made some impact on women and children’s lives by educating and giving them the necessary tools that will enable them to make their own choices (informed choice) as well as giving them back their lives. At the clinic, I perform an average of one or two reversals (deinfibulation) every week with very positive results.

    I do enjoy working with people from rural areas and will always extend my visits to this area.

    As a woman, mother and wife what other projects do you have for the treatment of women in Nigeria and Ghana who don’t have the resources to treat and fight (FGM)?

    The global campaign was launched in October 2014 in the UK and in some African countries (The Girls Generation). Both in Nigeria and Ghana, the civil societies are leading in the campaign and work around FGM as well as the UN joint programme. I do hope that the Nigerian government will support and make a commitment to the global movement.

    I really want to do more in Nigeria, supporting my people around safer birth and sexual health by sharing information, skills and knowledge. I have always thought about having a one stop clinic in the villages for women that addresses all their issues under one roof, obviously with the government’s support.

    You are an editor. You were awarded an MBE for service to women’s health care and a honorary doctorate at the University of Middlesex. How does it make you feel as a woman coming from Nigeria, Ghana, Africa to relocate to the United kingdom and have achieved so much?

    Receiving awards and recognition in my career has been a blessing from God, I was thrilled.

    I do feel very proud as an Africa to have the opportunity to work with well-meaning people with common goals and ambition. I am also blessed to have a very supportive husband and children.

    As I always say, all the awards and recognition I have received along my journey I truly dedicate them to all women and girls out there who have undergone FGM and domestic violence.

    I remember receiving a call from Buckingham Palace saying we are still waiting for your reply to attend an evening tea with the Queen. At first, I thought it was one of my friends pulling my legs. And the voice said again, ‘no, really this is from the palace’ and that was my first meeting with the Queen I still remember it now.

    I care about the world I live in and the welfare of young people

    What improvement do you think can be done to prevent (FGM) in Nigeria, and to give women more voice?

    We were in Nigeria in April this year, and we visited Abuja and Lagos. My previous visits include Taraba State and Kano.

    Our findings as below:

    Nigeria, due to it large population, has the highest absolute number of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) worldwide, accounting for about one-quarter of the estimated 115-130million women affected by FGM in the world (T C Okeke et al 2012) ). There are 36 states in Nigeria and about 160 -166 millions population, a multicultural and muti- ethnical country. This diversity affects FGM and its practices. The Calabar people perform FGM in December before Christmas as a rite of passage.

    In Nigeria, there is a need to mainstream FGM to health system. FGM needs to be part of professionals’ documentation and they should be recording cases of FGM they come across.

    In Nigeria, the ongoing drive to end FGM is tackled by WHO, UNICEF, FIGO, African Union and many other organisations

    Some actually believe that FGM has already been eradicated in Nigeria because FGM is not discussed openly

    A National Action Plan is available and the VAPP Bill introduced by Duke (2011) Violence Against Persons Prohibition has had its 2nd reading and awaiting ratification. It needs a government that is responsive.

  • Pursue your destiny (III)

    Pursue your destiny (III)

    WOW! Madam Temilolu, you stand out and just in a jiffy you’ve become my role model as I am an aspiring barrister, hoping to defend the defenceless in the nearest future and a writer. I am a wife and mother and I read your column in the Nation on Sunday. It would be nice to have you as a sister. Thanks.

    Amina Jibril Dukugi, Kaduna

    Thank you woman of God. It’s a great work you are doing for the Lord. We must stop the devil from preying upon the destinies of our youth. I am standing with you in prayer and I know that God will take the glory ultimately. Remain blessed.

    Pst. Stephen A., P/H

    Dear Temilolu,

    I never knew you are single and gifted as such. Keep it up please!

    Anonymous

    Dear Nigerians,

    I hope you all had a great week? I must not fail to thank you for your text messages, a few of which are published. And I must emphasise that we are all gifted as God has invested one unique gift or the other in us to affect other lives positively. We just need to discover our purpose in life and like I’ve been discussing this topic in the last two weeks, today we’ll be going into a series on how we can pursue our original destinies and get them to manifest. I welcome you to school on Sunday and remain a sister to all Nigerians!

    SEPARATE YOURSELF

    As the world daily advances, you will agree with me that most of our thoughts, behaviour, attitude to God and life generally is more often than not influenced by people around us even when it is obviously wrong. And according to the Yorubas- “aiye nse ‘ru e.” That means the world does same. Even clerics who know what the scriptures say about what God expects from us and are meant to ensure we strictly follow the rules encourage people to go against the rules. We hear people saying it’s not possible to live a holy life. Who says? It is very possible if you are determined. God cannot give rules we can’t abide by. All we need is some determination and a consecration of our lives. If you want your original to manifest, the first thing you must learn to do is to decide that in spite of any combination of adverse circumstances and the pollution of the world, your glory must shine. You must always bear in mind that we have a common enemy whose only mission on earth is to “kill, steal and destroy” us, our dreams and every good thing God has planned for our lives. However, isn’t it so nice that the scriptures say he roams round the world looking for whom to devour. What this means is that he knows he can’t destroy everyone and that there are some untouchables. Who says you can’t become an untouchable – the apple of God’s eye? It’s up to you. If you’ve been making the devil happy by flouting God’s rules, your life is automatically his play ground and he would find it too easy to becloud your senses and divert you from your path of glory.

    Hence, the first step to discovering yourself is separating yourself from the world. However, this doesn’t mean you should be in solitary confinement or snob people around you. Well, I must add that you are permitted to run away from people you know would always get you in trouble with God. The scriptures say: “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.” I Cor.15:33. When you continue hanging around friends who sleep with their boyfriends, talk dirty, wear seductive clothes, form all sorts of lies to acquire money from their parents etc. you will definitely be influenced. Bad company corrupts good morals, period! And besides, show me your friend and I’ll tell you who you are!

    Also, you must note that there are those who would influence you to do things that will keep you in the firm grip of the devil, there are some whose mindset would keep you in the valley of life because they don’t think great and can’t imagine you shinning and will always discourage you even when they mean no harm while there are some who are the devil’s tools, who have seen your potential and have the power to destroy it! I want you to look back at your life in the last 10 years and your friends/associates and those you are closely related to. In what way did they influence your life? Positive or negative? Are you happy you ever met them? What did they contribute to your life? Did they lift you high or pull you down? Even when you thought you were chopping life, have they added to your success? You need to analyse this and decide what you want to make out of life. Time is running fast and what will make you shine in your youth may never make you shine in your middle age and that is if it is ever discovered. Do you know the more we grow, the lesser the energy we have to pursue our dreams? Besides, when we start taking care of our husbands, children, coping with in-laws etc. we want to give them our maximum concentration. Even if they will be appreciative, their wife and mum are special breed and a shining star they are mightily proud of and who they love to discuss with their friends (who also can’t stop talking about her intelligence and prowess) and not just one of the people out there. So, ladies, please you need to get your priorities right, fast, fast, fast!

  • Counterfeit as toast of the town

    A few years ago, Maureen was faced with a hard choice. Two gentlemen had asked for her hand in marriage and she had to make a selection. It wasn’t really an easy task but the vain part of her heart took over. One was very handsome while the other wasn’t so good looking at all. At a glance, Henry the handsome guy who was also the toast of the town should come uppermost on the emotional scale. Deep down, she had her reservations about this guy.

    Reason: “His heart was not as handsome as he looked. Even though he was really nice to her at that point, she observed from his interactions with others that he was shrewd and callous. On the other hand, Remi was a kind heart, very generous and had a wonderful personal relationship with almost everyone around him.”

    Then another voice painted images of a handsome husband on the wedding day and a good looking man by her side. Shouldn’t this be what she should aspire for?

    Is it better to wake up in the arms of Mr. handsome every day of her married life? Well, she voted emotionally for the handsome dude and a few months after they tied the knot.

    Now, it is barely a year and the emotional signs are not too good. Mr. handsome simply grew from bad to worse without any apologies. The writing on her emotional wall brings tears and somehow she wished she could change the hands of time as well as cancel this emotional arrangement that has become a torture. Too late, our dear friend is stuck and it feels worse stepping out of this incompatible circle.

    It is inevitable that in every relationship, there are going to be differences, and everyone has days when their emotions can get the better of them.

    The problem is not that we have differences in our relationship, the problem lies in the way we handle those differences. When our ego gets in the way, we can easily say or do things that threaten the peace of our relationship and increase the level of relationship stress.

    Instead of putting the peace of your relationship on the line when there’s a problem, it is better to develop the life skills needed to resolve problems with consideration, awareness and respect.

    One basic truth for lovebirds is that we need to chose wisely and not get carried away by the outward things that glitter. We must also resist the temptation to misrepresent ourselves when making friends, just to impress the other person. The objective of making friends is to get to know the other person, not to mislead them into liking you. Are friendships that aren’t based on honesty really worth having? If the other party cannot accept honest communication, then they are not much of a friend!

    Friendship should never require that you both agree on everything. So, when making friends, don’t be afraid to have your own views and opinions. Any friend worth having will respect you for being honest about how you feel, and what you like and don’t like. Of course, you need to be tactful and willing to respect their views and opinions also.

    Some friendships last a lifetime, some only for a little while. Some friendships are very close and personal; others are limited in their scope. People and situations change, that’s just how life works. Accepting these realities will put you at ease when making friends because you won’t form unrealistic expectations.

    Regardless of whether you have lots of really close friends, or just a few, the important thing is to value these special relationships.  Always be grateful for the special connection you’ve made with these special friends, and be willing to work at keeping the friendship strong, because a true friendship can bring so much value into the life of both people.

    Stress has an insidious way of undermining every aspect of our health and happiness. Nowhere is this more obvious then in our closest and most valued relationships. Have the anxieties and pressures of daily life or a constricting economy begun to seep into your home life?

    When we are feeling the effects of stress, we need to feel that our home is a safe haven where we can find relief and comfort. A happy relationship can make all the difference during challenging times. Sadly, more and more couples are experiencing the divisive influence of outside stress in their relationship with their mate.

    Are there steps we can take to protect the happiness of our relationship during times of stress? When the pressure rises, is there some way for couples to actually draw closer rather than allowing their relationship to be torn apart?

    Handled correctly, challenging experiences can actually bring couples closer together. This is not to say that they will be immune to the stress. What it means is that working together and facing their challenges as a unified partnership can deepen their bond and add new depth to their relationship.

  • ‘My passion for teaching

    ‘My passion for teaching

    Titilayo Omodolapo Oduseso is the brain behind Royalbridge International Company Limited, an educational consulting firm that gave birth to Gapbridge Private School, Lagos. She has a wealth of experience in Cambridge International Examination and has conducted IGCSE English Second Language oral assessment examinations for the British Council for notable schools in and outside Lagos for sixteen years. The mother of two is also involved in IGSCE training for teachers and students ‘placement to colleges, universities in the United Kingdom, United States of America, Canada and a few other countries. In this interview, she takes Adetutu Audu into her world. 

    Why are you so passionate about the profession?

    I’m just passionate about the profession because I believe in building and moulding lives and my joy is always seeing my products doing very well in their chosen career. To me, that is the satisfaction of the job. It’s like there is no other job than being a teacher because of the passion I have for the profession.

    Do you really set out to be an educationist?

    When I left school, I had intention working with some big companies and banks and, fortunately for me, I was able to secure one with a bank but my husband resisted me from working with them. He told me to stay at home and take care of the kids. But when I was tired of doing that, I opted for a teaching job because I knew it would enable me take care of my kids no matter how busy I am. Though not my first love, my father was a principal and few of my siblings also taught before moving to other sectors, so I took it upon myself and went fully into the profession and today I thank God because I have been able to make a living out of it and also surpassed most of my family members in the profession.

    Before delving into teaching line, did you consider the poor remuneration?

    Yes, of course, people focused more on payment and they also look down on us because of our remuneration. But I can tell you, your job can stand you out once you know your onions. I actually started with the Lagos State Government before I moved to the private sector. As at the time I wanted to move, many said they would over use me in the private sector but for the vision I had then, I eventually moved and I allowed them to use me and that has made me to be useful to myself. I’m now master of the game, most of my colleagues that we started teaching several years back are still in the classroom teaching but I actually took the decision in order to build myself for the task ahead and it has placed me where I am today. And hard work, perseverance, the never-say-die-spirit and grace of God have also worked for me. Gone are the days when teachers were poorly paid, but as of today, if you know your onions and you know what you stand for, you will be well paid.

    How much was your first salary as a teacher?

    When I was in the public sector, I was earning three thousand naira but when I moved to the private school, my pay increased to twelve thousand naira. Three months after, it became twenty-five thousand naira simply because of what I put in for the short period I joined the school. Before I knew what was happening, my pay had increased to hundred thousand, though right from the beginning I had determined that I would never be a poor teacher and I so much thank God for where I am today.

    The placement of students to schools abroad, no doubt, stands you out. How did you strike deal with all these international schools?

    I got the exposure when I used to go abroad for one seminar or the other. During those years, I met a lot of people with like minds and we had a deal. Now we offer checkpoint, IGSCE, SSCE, IELTS, A level and foundation programmes. We also do placement for students going abroad to study in countries like the UK, US, Canada, Ghana, and many more, depending on students’ preferences. The school has a proud history of academic achievement and is renowned for its ability to meet individual needs and fulfil potential. Students are encouraged to believe in themselves and their ability to succeed. We promote the achievement of excellence in a learning environment that is safe, caring and accepting of diversity. We are committed to the development of lifelong learning skills that motivate and enable all students to make positive contribution to the society and themselves. Learning is designed to develop understanding and to challenge students to push the boundaries of their thinking. All students are encouraged to be creative, critical and caring thinkers. We want them to discover a passion for learning and life. We promote an environment that encourages students to be self disciplined, to learn from their mistakes, to be willing to take risks and to value their own and others’ thinking. Independent learning skills are developed within a technologically rich setting that includes collaborative online learning environment. Specialist teaching and a broad innovative range of subject choices ensure that each student’s individual strengths are fostered.

    Why do you use both British and the Nigerian curricula?

    We fashioned our system around both because the director has worked in the public schools where Nigerian curriculum is being used and the many elite schools in Lagos where British curriculum is being used. British curriculum gives a world-class education among other nations. The benefits are numerous which include; no exam malpractices, no special centre to favour any candidate. No cramming for students, they read, understand and apply themselves to the questions.

    You are a single mother, has this affected you career wise?

    It made me stronger and I was able to learn how to do things myself without looking for support from anybody. Some women who had similar problem with their marriage have also learnt from me. I’m a career woman and my marital problem had not deterred me from climbing the success ladder; it has even made me to stand tall.

  • ‘My life as an insurance perfessional’

    ‘My life as an insurance perfessional’

    Victoria Bolajoko Adegbaju is the Chief Executive Officer of BAC Insurance Consultants Ltd. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she speaks about the challenges in the sector, how to overcome these challenges, as well as the benefits for the public.

    YOU are the CEO of an insurance company, what is the focus of the organisation?

    My vision is to consult; to meet people’s needs as far as insurance is concerned. That was why I wrote the book on insurance and it was meant to fill in the gaps about the different insurance questions bothering the client. I have a passion to educate people about insurance and the book is titled, “Know Your Insurance Rights”. So, I do consultations, seminars and workshops.

    What would you consider as the achievements in your career?

    There have been a number of things that I consider as my achievements. The first is that I have been able to set up my own company and along the line I have been able to make a name in the industry.

    How did you get into the insurance business?

    I graduated from the Obafemi Awolowo University where I studied Mathematics and I have been in the insurance industry for over 15 years.

    Initially, I had challenges with insurance because it was a new terrain for me. I got married before opting for a career in the Insurance industry and, along the line, I had to do the professional exams. It took me some time and I completed it in 2009. It was tough combining this with family; I had to retake the exams and I got fed up and discouraged at a point and went to do my MBA in Marketing for two years and then came back. The experience was good and I always believe that no knowledge is lost. I am also doing an M.Sc in Actuarial Science and Insurance. I am still looking forward to my doctorate degree.

    How would you describe the insurance industry in Nigeria?

    I would say that the insurance sector in Nigeria is not the same as the insurance industry outside the country. This is because we do not believe in insurance in Nigeria and we have not been able to do the things that we should be doing. Outside Nigeria we get a number of offers from clients but here in Nigeria it is the insurance personnel that would beg the client to do business.

    A lot of times, they see the sector as not being stable but overtime there has been a number of enlightenment and awareness and I think things are getting better unlike what we had in the past. I started my career with Great Nigeria Insurance Plc where I rose to the position of the branch manager. I was later employed at Intercontinental Life Assurance Ltd as a management staff and head of public sector marketing before joining Mutual Benefits Assurance Ltd in 2012.

    What do you think is responsible for this apathy?

    Like every other profession, there are good and bad people operating in the sector. Sadly, it is because of the terrible experience with some practitioners in the past. I think that was what happened and you can imagine if it happens to one, two, three and more people, it goes around and it would be difficult to change the mindset. So, when people are saying the same thing, you can imagine the kind of effect this can have on the sector.

    Can you talk about one or two cases that you handled that make you happy?

    I had a client who had a vehicle theft case. The car was stolen and I was in market and servicing and I took it upon myself to see that the claim was settled. From the beginning to the end, I made sure everything was in place and I have some other cases like that. I have also assisted people and even those I did not know before, especially those who have had a nasty experience with insurance in the past I take it upon myself to create a better impression.

    Who or what would you describe as a motivating factor in your career?

    I would say that it is my husband because he believes so much in me and the career that I have chosen. He encourages me to be the very best in whatever I do and that has been responsible for the progress I have made so far. As a branch manager, I was the best and everywhere I had worked before setting up my company, I was usually the best. Even when I get fed up or discouraged, he gives me the push to go the extra mile. In addition, he would always emphasise that this is not the best that can come out of you and that has been a great motivating factor.

    Is he also in the insurance industry?

    No, he is not. He is an engineer and we met in school. He was actually doing his masters at that point.

    What are some of the other challenges you are faced with in the sector?

    There are a number of challenges and these include awareness about how the sector operates, as well as unhealthy competition among underwriters, among workers and the other people in the industry. I think it is the work of the regulators to make things better. I would say that a number of us are trying our best, but it is the regulators that should set a pace and make things better. They are in a better position to do that.

    You are also the initiator of Inner Virtue International. What is the organisation about and who are your targets?

    It is a passion that I have for ladies and I try to make them realise their self worth. While I was growing up, I saw that ladies were faced with harassment from different quarters and there were a number of other distractions that limited their goals. So, I decided to talk to them, encourage them, especially ladies who have fallen victims of one form of harassment or the other. To do this, I organise trainings, workshops, seminars and mentoring programmes for these ladies. At such trainings, we also teach them some vocational skills that would help to empower them and assist them in achieving their primary goals.

    If you had to advise the average Nigerian woman, what would you tell her?

    What I would advise the average Nigerian male or female is that they should be selfless. If we are all selfless, if we want something good for the other person, things would be better and all the challenges that we have around us would be over. And, of course, this selflessness that we are talking about includes love; it includes endurance and so many other things.

    You have a book on insurance, what motivated you to write this book?

    The book is meant to create awareness about the insurance sector in Nigeria. It is not voluminous and easy to read. What I have noticed is that the average Nigerian reader wants something that is attractive, and reader-friendly to get their attention. Most times, people run away from insurance because of the wrong notion they have about it, but once they get better information, all this would change. The rates that we charge for insurance are not high compared to what we do. They are not commensurate with the risk we handle.

    Do you think that our women have done well when it comes to holding leadership positions?

    Yes, I think that they have done well considering the challenges that they are faced with on a daily basis. If I see or come across any of them aspiring for leadership positions, I would support and encourage such a person. Personally, I am not thinking of contesting for elective position but if given an appointment in an area of specialisation, then I would be ready to serve.

    What are the other things that occupy your time?

    I love singing and the passion started in church; I am a member of the Baptist Church. I also have a calling in this area and I am working on my album at the moment. The songs that are in my collection are basically praise songs and they have messages that are meant to inspire and encourage people.

    Over the years, I also did some modelling but I could not really penetrate the sector because I am a very selective person. Most times, I turn down some offers because I am not willing to do some of the things they ask for. The benefits are not also attractive and there was actually a print job that I did that was not even paid for.

    How do you manage this very busy schedule?

    Well, I would say that God has been very good to me. At the initial stage of my career, it was quite hectic but my mother in law was there for me. We lost her in 2012 and that created a yawning gap, but luckily my children are grown up now. She was a wonderful mother in law and she did her best to help bring up my children.

  • A ripple on emotional waters

    A ripple on emotional waters

    PLANNING romantic outings, giving thoughtful gifts and maintaining a robust sex life, all help to make our love lives exciting. So, why do we have problems having the romantic fantasies that we all dream about? The crux of the matter is that most of us have limited funds and other demands on our time and money that make it hard to prioritise quality time with our significant others.

    There are things we can do to bring a renewed sense of vitality to our relationship that don’t involve spending large chunks of money or time. Experts are always ready to tell anyone who cares to listen that a healthy sex life is key, with good communication the hand that turns it.

    Interestingly, some people just do not know how to keep long-term relationships, no matter how hard they try. If you have an opportunity to speak with those in this bracket, you would obviously discover that they just can’t cut it when it comes to relationships.

    They’ll break your heart, no matter how great you are for them or how much better they are without you.

    The wise thing to do is avoid them if you can and save your heart. This you can do by spotting these emotional characters and avoid them before it is too late. If you are unfortunate to sail in the same emotional boat with such a person, you may just end up wasting your time. It is therefore better to work on a positive action plan to zero in on a lovebird that can create a lasting, amazing relationship with you.

    The next question here, therefore, would be how you attract love that has quality. Love, interestingly, is everywhere and we are surrounded by people with attitude that are good and positive. When we are truly open to recognising, giving, and receiving love, something incredible happens.

    It is therefore better to work at it and do your best to make things work. This is one of the best ways to turn your love life around.

    It starts with creating a small and simple “shift” inside you. And it’s this one small shift that radiates out like a ripple on the water to start having a dramatic effect on everything else.

    This would naturally take you away from feeling “stuck” and frustrated with the same kind of dead-end hurtful relationship to finally breaking the negative patterns and cycles. It could just be the answer to the kind of love that you have always imagined; the type that you knew was possible deep down but could never seem to arrive at with a man.

    Even when you finally find your emotional rib, you still have to continue to learn ways to maintain this relationship. Like every other thing in life, the maintenance of love is important than its acquisition. It is actually going to cost you more at this stage than what it cost you to acquire your lovebird.

    It would naturally take a toll on you because it can be energy sapping, lots of resources likely to go down the emotional drain; sacrifices that would hurt as well as consume lots of your physical and emotional time.

    To do this successfully, you must learn to talk about “why” you need to let go of certain things from time to time. Ridiculing or humiliating each other is not a good idea, or a good omen. But if you can both talk honestly about what irritates or upsets you and why, you are more likely to understand each other better. It can feel easier to avoid being honest if we feel that could be hurtful, but it is only with honesty that trust is built, and trust is the essence of a good relationship.

    As you stroll along on the different emotional pages in your love book, you would also find that there are different qualities to sex and that your feelings would change from to time. First, you would discover the passion; the urgency of reproductive sex or what is also dubbed as the snatched sex in the early years of parenthood. From this point, you move on to the slower intimacy of midlife onwards. But our culture presents only one type as being valid: youthful, vigorous, and usually penetrative. It is possible to maintain a happy sex-life for decades with the same person.

    It may not be as often, or the sort of sex that you think you should be having, or think others must be having, just relax and enjoy this special kind of intimacy together. Understanding all this would make you know how to deal with issues of lust and infidelity in your relationship. The great wonder of middle age is that we know our time is now limited. If you have managed to surf the ups and downs of bringing up children, work and making ends meet all within the same relationship, the rewards can be great. You have a wealth of shared memories to laugh over. You accept each other in your entirety. Rather than fearing getting older, remember that many couples in a long relationship find these to be their happiest years together.

  • Women rally against domestic violence

    WOMEN, resident within Ojo Local government areas have been encouraged to speak out and use the law to protect themselves instead of dying in silence whenever they are subjected to any form of domestic violence.

    The campaign, carried out around the popular Iyano-Oba market, had in attendance students and teachers from public and private schools, corporate institutions as well as religious groups within Ojo LGA and environ.

    The programme was also held in commemoration of ‘the week of action against domestic violence in Lagos State’.

    With the theme: “Domestic Violence is a Crime, Stop it”, the Grassroots People and Gender Development Center (GPGDC), a member of Lagos State Gender Advocacy Team (LASGAT), speaking through it executive director, Mrs. Vivian Ifeoma Emesowum, said “the stance of Lagos State is that no one deserves to be hurt including persons with disability”.

    She described domestic violence as a phase that common at home and between people who live or had lived together, adding that, women, girls and children have been found to be usual victims of domestic violence.

    In her contribution that domestic violence even occurs within the school life, Counselor, Ojo LGA, Mrs. Ojo, while leading a campaign team to various primary schools, also advised scholl children to desist from in-fighting within and outside school premises.

    Ojo however encouraged sexually molested and harassed victims to report issues of assaults to school authorities anytime such occurs as she called on more concerned organisations to take the campaigns to schools in the riverine areas within the state.

    Also speaking, the proprietor, Toluwani Montessori School, Egan-Igando, a remote area of Lagos, Mrs. Akanji Mobolaji, commended the initiative of taking the campaign to the grassroots and saying: “I am so happy to see things happening in Nigeria since 2005 CSW in China, Beijing.”

    While making other contributions, participants concluded that women are said to be beaten as a result of their nagging behaviour as well as refusing to stay where their husband wanted them to say. They said this is usually so because of deep cultural belief in Nigeria making it socially acceptable to hit a woman to discipline her. Other reason is religious-based asking women to obey and submit to everything her husband says either it is in her own interest or not.

    Reacting conversely to these claims, GPGDC executive director, Emesowum, said the act of beating a woman in the name of discipline or any other reasons stands totally condemned, adding that, it is high time culture and social vices realised that “domestic violence is not limited to physical abuse but includes sexual, emotional abuse, rape, incest, harassment, denial of education, starvation and more as listed in the Lagos State Domestic Violence Law. She then called on more men to embrace the message of the campaign to stop domestic violence at home so that our communities will be safe for all citizens.

    GPGDC later distributed copies of the Lagos domestic laws, stickers and other IEC materials to several women that attended the event. The women later said that they were excited to learn about how they can be offered protection in the event of domestic abuse. They further requested for follow-ups to help them avoid the fear of unknown that often grips the heart of every woman or persons that had suffered any form of violation to help them gain the confidence to report the cases to relevant authorities so that Lagos State can be free of domestic violence.

  • Pursue your destiny (II)

    Pursue your destiny (II)

    HAPPY new month, wonderful Nigerians. I trust God with all my heart that this month will bring your greatest wishes, life transforming miracles that will usher you into the best days of your life and make you declare year 2014 your best year ever. AMEN! I am always very pleased to read your text messages and would love to share some with you all today.

    Madam Temilolu,

    I read your piece- “Pursue your destiny” for the first time in Sunday Nation. As usual of all your pieces, the article is an insightful wisdom that is profitable to direct. May God increase your wisdom.

    Tunde Olayode

    Temi,

    I must commend your good work in The Girls Club. I am 32 years old and married with children. Your article- “Pursue your destiny” really inspired me. It’s sad that I don’t know what I’m destined for but encouraged by your write-up on how I can align with God and discover it. God bless you.

    Sarah

    Patience is a difficult virtue but the world will be awesome if we could imbibe it. I like what you promote. Keep it up.

    Ade

    I’d like to thank you for your article  “Developing patience in times of adversity.” I have been asking for the meaning of patience and God has used you to explain it well to me. God bless you.

     

    Latifat Adekola

    I read your article- “Developing patience in times of adversity.” In times past, I believed patience was a virtue but now I doubt it is so. I am just tired of being patient and getting nothing in return while other people are eating their cake and still having it. I was jilted three years ago, got over it and moved into another relationship. Right now, I’m in a year-old relationship that’s about to break up. God knows I have been patient all through and tried to do the right things. I am 31, when will I finally settle down?

    Michelle, Kaduna

    Thank you all for your kind words. Funny thing is I’ve not even started on the topic “Pursue your destiny,” so you all should prepare for a series of lectures on that in the coming weeks by God’s grace. And you can be sure you’ll be hearing straight from God. The Girls Club of Nigeria was created by God to influence a positive change in the female folk and re-orientate the Nigerian girl so she can live a most fulfilling life, make the most of her existence on earth and advance gallantly to eternity at the end of her life’s journey. And so shall it be for us all in Jesus name. I’d like to address Michelle’s situation which is what a lot of ladies are dealing with.

    When I spoke to Michelle and inquired about her relationship pattern, she told me she had been engaging in sex with her boyfriends. And you will agree with me that as far as God our maker is concerned, that isn’t the right thing but wrong and condemnable. Just because your mates had aristos aside their boyfriend/fiancé, even slept with them while preparing for their weddings doesn’t mean you can do that and get away with it. And neither does it mean they can get away with it. We all have different destinies and whether you believe this or not, there are some destinies the devil (who in the first instance is against God’s wish for our life) is poised to destroy completely because he knows they could threaten his kingdom if they are allowed to manifest. Also, there are some destinies whose glory, star, shinning and core mission on earth is tied to their virginity as designed by God. Now, what happens when they’ve been deflowered since high school by someone whose life is bereft of any form of goodness? Hmm….girls….girls…girls, I hope you are following me? Such a life is open to demonic invasion; polluted, contaminated with every bad thing in the life of the sexual partner. Don’t you know that your first sexual intercourse carries a heavy spiritual significance? And with every partner, comes a covenant. Life is a mystery and the whole world lies in wickedness. It would only take the grace of God for most women to live a fulfilled life. And in this generation of youth, painfully, the devil seems to be having a field day. Sad! Very sad! I’ll deal with this issue extensively soon.

    The point is, if your chances of being married are constantly attacked, you have no business being on the side of the one who doesn’t want the will of God to manifest in your life. Isn’t it God that said “it is not good for man to be alone?” He knows what He is saying and wishes you to be married to the man He’s paired your destiny up with. He’s planned all of this before you were formed in your mother’s womb. However, you can’t expect Him to help you when you are still kissing the devil-His enemy. Be wise; get God on your side. Here’s an invitation to my wonderful sisters out there. It’s time to save ignorant sisters from being cheated and deprived of their glorious destinies. Please join me in this campaign and not only would the grace of biblical Esther be upon your life (no matter what you’ve done in the past), your success in life will be phenomenal and you’ll forever attract divine attention; thus saith the Lord! (Please send me an sms). God bless you.