Category: New Woman

  • ‘Paedophiles need to  undergo psychiatric  evaluation’

    ‘Paedophiles need to undergo psychiatric evaluation’

    Mrs. Omotola Rotimi, a chartered mediator, is Director, Office of the Public Defender (OPD), Lagos State Ministry of Justice. She talked about the activities of the agency in providing free legal services in both criminal and civil matters as well as reacted to issues of domestic violence and child abuse when she met with Hannah Ojo.

    IT appears OPD handles more of domestic violence and abuse than criminal cases. What is the reason for that?

    It is because most of the time that had is the aspect the press is interested in. They shy away from the criminal aspect areas which we do very well. For instance, in 2013, about 80 percent of our cases were criminal cases. Even the domestic violence that we are talking about is also a criminal matter because you have elements of assault. When somebody rapes a person, even though it is violence but it is also criminal in nature.

    How do you cope with the large cases, looking at the number of people since you handle free cases?

    Just in January alone, we had already handled 912 cases. If just in a month we had dealt with such number of cases, then it goes to show the seriousness of what we are doing here. Currently, my staff strength is about 105; about 75 of them are lawyers. We have project officers and we have state counsels, so we handle cases spread across all Lagos. Of course I have social workers as well because there are some cases that involve children or matrimonial issues that have to be taken to the family court. We have interns, youth corps members and support staff, so with all these people we are able to manage and juggle all these matters and still get an effective result.

    What are the notable challenges confronting the operations of the agency?

    The big challenge still has to do with the victims and witnesses in cases. I am going to put the criminal and the civil together in the sense that when somebody comes to report a case to you and you have to investigate because the OPD law allows for that. We have to investigate to know if there is an element of truth in the allegation and it will also assist us in proffering the necessary solutions to a particular case. You find out that even the witness may not be forthcoming with enough information or the witnesses are not strong enough to have a very strong case in court.

    Then you now have to dig deep and do investigations with other parastatals and agencies. You find out that you do not only look at the criminal aspect but what actually causes that person to commit that offence. It might be that the person is mentally unstable, poor or out of sheer ignorance. And then we have to treat that issue as well so that we won’t have a reoccurrence in our hands. Aside the victims, another challenge we have is in the area of persecution. For instance, the offices of the public defender in other jurisdictions have police officers and military officers that will assist the agency in investigating allegations. For instance, now, I would say in a case involving forensics, a pathologist comes to court and because the prosecution called the pathologist to come and give evidence as to the report that emanated from his office, the public defender should also have its own pathologist to counter, whether rightly or wrongly, and inform the court from their own angle. But then, so far, we have only been relying on just whatever the prosecutions gives.

    Another area is this issue of even the witnesses and the defence also interviewing the witnesses before the case goes to court. But what you find out here now is that it is only during cross examination that the defence counsels cross examine the witness(es) of the prosecution whereas in other jurisdiction, you are allowed to even go to their house.

    Have there been instances of clashes of religion and tradition?

    Yes, especially when it comes to the issue of matrimony and child abuse. For example, the issue of child marriage. We have rescued children that have been given to older men in their late fifties and sixties in marriage. We have been able to rescue the children and what we have done is that we tell them so far you are in Lagos State you have to comply because we have domesticated the child’s right act to child right law. We have been able to educate them and tell them the importance of education and the dangers of giving out their children in early marriages and most of them, because of the education they had, have responded positively and allowed these children to go to school. Those areas of religion and custom have actually intervened in such cases. We have had cases of people of eastern origin where the woman lost her husband and she was sent packing because all the children are females. We have been able to talk to the husband’s family and show them why these children are just like any other male children and how blessed and useful they are. Some families have actually started to reason and by that we have been able to assist so many widows that ordinarily would have been left without anything to cater for their children at the end of the day. We have assisted them in getting whatever should be their own inheritance.

    In your capacity as the director, please share some of the pathetic cases the agency has handled?

    Some of the cases had to do with children. We have had a case where a step mum, just because the girl put her hand in the pot of soup, ‘cooked’ the girl’s hand. The girl is in the protective custody of the state as I’m talking to you and the woman is currently being prosecuted for what she has done. There is another case where the girl was asked to sell pap by her guardian and because the person who bought the pap returned it and said she was no longer interested and the girl took the pap back. Just because the girl had done that, she beat up the girl, threw her for about three times and broke her bones. After some time, she took the girl to traditional bone setters and it became bad that the girl had to be rushed to an orthopaedic hospital and the two hands had to be amputated. These are the kinds of abuses that usually come to mind and the cases are very pathetic. There is also another case where a child was alleged to have lost N1000 and because of that, the child was mercilessly beaten and a razor was used to slash his body. Meanwhile, the aunt of another girl living in the same compound, who was alleged to have stolen the money after beating the girl plugged an iron and inflicted wounds on the child just because of N1000. These are babies for Christ’s sake. These are kinds of the pathetic cases that we have had that are quite disheartening. So, one would now begin to question why women are becoming aggressive to their children. All I can see is transferred aggression probably because they are frustrated with their marriage or about something else and then they take it out on the children.

    Advice to women?

    Women must know their rights under the law and that of their children. They must know that in Lagos State, the domestic violence law is in operation and everybody is protected under that law including those working for them. If women know their rights, perhaps this issue of transferred aggression will reduce. If we know our responsibilities as parents under the law, the issue of violence will actually reduce. They cannot leave their responsibilities to the government and they cannot run away from it either.

    Your agency often engages in charity visits to orphanages, what is the inspiration behind it?

    I would say because we do lots of things with children, my officers are quite dedicated and passionate even up to the cleaners and drivers. It has eaten into our flesh that when we see children, we should respond positively to them. Even during Christmas, my staff as a whole, we donate a lot of things to charity organisations and even government also assists us especially during festive periods to provide for the needs of these charity homes by giving them food, clothes and provisions. The public believe that since we are OPD, we have the ears of the government and we would probably bring to the notice of government the needs of these children. And that is why even the government is so responsive towards us giving to charity and then the government sponsors us. Also, individually, lawyers and my members of staff also contribute and give to charity institutions.

    There has been an increase in reported cases of rape, is it that rape is increasing or people now have the courage to come out and talk?

    I think it is the second one. People are now having the courage to come out and speak. Even when a child is defiled, parents are coming out. Even a mother is coming out against the father to speak. I think the awareness is gradually setting in and people are becoming more aware of the positive part of reporting such cases because it is in two ways. Number one, it is undergoing a kind of psychological and medical treatment, putting the past behind them and moving forward with their lives. Then, it also affords the suspect because the suspect might need medical attention which most of the time we shy away from. When we say people are paedophile, they are sick because I can’t understand how a man will defile a 40-day old baby. Obviously, that is a sick man who needs medical help. So, in order to reduce the number of paedophiles among us, people need to speak out and even the paedophiles have to undergo psychiatric evaluation and treatment in order to reduce the number of people molesting children on the street.

  • Classy wedding of Segun  Babatope’s  daughter, Oluwatosin  to her hearttrob, Olaseni Osho.

    Classy wedding of Segun Babatope’s daughter, Oluwatosin to her hearttrob, Olaseni Osho.

    Friends, family and loved ones thronged the Hoares Memorial Church Cathedral, Yaba, Lagos last weekend when Mr Segun Babatope, seasoned journalist gave out his beautiful daughter out in marriage. Basking in the euphoria of love, the couple got compliments from guests who were clad in silver and orange.

  • A bad marriage can kill

    A bad marriage can kill

    EVERYONE knows that being in an unhappy marriage can make people miserable.

    But now, researchers have suggested it could even prove fatal.

    U.S. researchers believe that an unhappy marriage can cause stress which, in turn, affects physical health.

    They believe people who are unhappy with their spouse could be at higher risks of depression, high blood pressure and even heart disease.

    As a result, scientists at Michigan State University are set to study how marriage affects cardiovascular health.

    They say this is particularly important at a time when one in four people in the U.S. die of heart disease.

    Dr Hui Liu, the lead researcher, said: ‘The importance of this study is highlighted by the continued high prevalence of cardiovascular disease in the United States.

    ‘We plan to provide nationally representative evidence on how marriage affects cardiovascular health and elucidate the multiple mechanisms in this relationship. The findings will have important implications for health policy and practice.’

    The researchers say most cases of heart diseases are preventable, meaning identifying risk factors is crucial to the design of effective prevention strategies.

    Dr Liu explained that scientists have long believed marriage to be the most important social relationship affecting health.

    She believes, for example, that a happy marriage offers support and enhances physical health.

    In contrast, she says the stress of an unhappy marriage can cause depression.

    This, she says, can promote unhealthy habits, such as smoking and drinking, and can increase the body’s levels of stress hormones.

    These hormones can result in raised blood pressure and heart rate eventually leading to heart disease.

  • I learn  across  board

    I learn across board

    Ini Onuk is the CEO at Thistle Praxis, a consulting firm. She is also the convener of the Africa CEO Round-table and conference on Corporate Sustainability and Responsibility, AR-CSR. In this interview with Yetunde Oladeinde, she talks about how she crossed over from paid employment to being an employer of labour, the initial challenges and the turning point that changed her life.

    ARE women doing well in terms of leadership?

    I think that there are still a lot of opportunities for women, whether we like it or not. Government also needs to create more opportunities for women. I am not saying that it should be handed over just like that, it must be merited. In a country like ours, we have about 50 per cent women and a lot of organisations like the oil and gas sector, banks and CBN are putting in positive measures in place. So the trend is changing, our culturing also needs to change. For a woman, once you leave school and you are not married there is a problem. We have smart women but much more has to be done.

    Do you see change through dialogues like the national conference?

    The per cent age of women to men is still an indication that we still have a long way to go. The nominations look like it is the men that have all the solutions. They are wrong. I am hopeful that the conference would achieve what it seeks to achieve and not just be a jamboree.

    How would you assess the performance of the organisation?

    It’s been topsy turvy. The organisation will be four years this June and I would say so far, so good. However, I must say that it is tough being in the service industry, but being able to give the service in a unique way, the tenacity of purpose, holding on when everyone says it’s an impossible dream. At the point, when I was going to start the business, friends and family didn’t understand why I should leave my job and take something which in everyone’s eyes didn’t make sense. For me, it was the ability to dream and seeing your dream come true.

    What are some of the achievements recorded?

    We have been able to stamp our mark and move from CSR to sustainability and linking it to the DNA of the organisation and also moving to sustainable finance. It has been quite good putting the discussions on the table. From this, you can break it up to what organisations can do, link this to Human Resources and their supply chain. Companies can link this to their businesses and a wider range of the things they do. But beyond the mundane philosophy of philanthropy, we are making corporate oganisations more reliable.

    In addition, we also have our journal called CRS files. We also have the weekly publication in The Guardian, which is a newsletter. We have also been able to produce what we call the carbon calculator which works on issues of core impact and needs assessment. Another achievement for me is that as a woman entrepreneur, one is able to pioneer what others have not been able to do.

    What are the new projects that you are working on?

    In terms of achievements, we are the West African firm responsible for CSR sustainability. That is big and new, we had a conference last year. We are looking at opening up opportunities and ensure that organisations producing sustainability reports make it intrinsically linked to Nigeria and not just generate demographics using GRN and ISO 26,000 as technical partners. We are also working on our conference on financial inclusion and how they can be linked to finance.

    What are some of the challenges encountered?

    I think there is no business that won’t talk about challenge. For us in the service delivery sector, the major problem has to do with cash flow. Usually people would be asking you what you produce or what are you selling. It is basically about time, resources and particularly getting people who are good for the job.

    Here, we are quite particular about the best brains, the content that people come with. Apart from this, we have issues with power and we run the generator everyday and this adds to the cost of running the office. We have just opened new offices in Calabar and Abuja.

    Tell us about some of your memorable moments on the job..

    For me, the first one would be the first three months after we started Thistle Praxis. That year, we had a conference and brought in Mary Robinson, but somehow we had no sponsorship. Everyone we went to was wondering what we were up to. They didn’t believe that we could have the calibre of guests that we had.

    Another memorable moment that we have had was when we brought former two-time Minister of Norway to one of our events. The third one was the day we made our first hundred million and it was like a dream come true. That was the total value of the job and at the end it all we walked away with about five to ten million.

    How would you describe your management style?

    I am a good leader who is open to criticism. I fluctuate between being the queen bee, mother and autocratic leader. For a transformational leader, there should be a balance. My management style is a mix but I am hands on at work. For me, part of the problem as business grows and we have more capable hands, the founder gets complacent and they do not get to know what is happening.

    That is where I am different and do not micro manage at all. I need to be practically involved with everything that is going on. In itself, that means extra work but in 10 years there would be viable group heads.

    Let’s talk about the people you admire or mentors..

    I have quite a number of young and old people in this category. The mistake a lot of people make is thinking that mentors must be older people. I learn across board and I have people who have been good to me in different ways. Bola Adesola is one of the people that I have tremendous respect for. AlexOtti, GMD of Diamond Bank, Thelma Ekiyor, Governor Liyel Imoke, Mary Akpobore, Alli Baba’s wife, are examples of people committed to people. As people grow higher, they look down on others, but these people are different.

    Who or what do you consider as the greatest influence in your life?

    I think it should be my background. I came from a very humble background. I am one of those who should not have anything to be where I am today. The constant push to be better than where I am, whether I like it or not, has marked what I do. The fear of poverty, not being able to give to others is the greatest drive and push. I love my father to pieces and I saw him work very hard as a watch repairer to put food on the table as a young girl.

    Do you have people that you are mentoring?

    I have too many mentees and protégées. This year, I decided not to take any because they run in the numbers between 15 and 20 that I am actively involved with and the others. My life has always been that of mentoring and we discuss personal and business issues. I also started something called Alabaster Circle which is a follow up on my second book, Break the Alabaster.

    Here we are able to deal with issues like marriage, day-to-day relationships and the reality of entrepreneurship. Most times, a lot of people just wake up and say, ‘I am doing my own thing’. Meanwhile, it is not working and they have to go back to the job they left for it. Getting it right is a lot of sacrifice and you have to invest everything into it.

    If you had to advise young women, what would you tell them?

    It would be what I told myself. I was created for change. It is important to know that being a woman is not a disease. I see myself first and foremost as an entrepreneur and not just a female entrepreneur. For younger women, I would say that we are not born to be just wives and mothers. After creating a man, there was a burning desire inside God and He needed to create someone who would be a partner, someone He could have conversations with and He created a woman. A woman is an embodiment of all, while the man is the prototype. We should see ourselves as partners in progress.

    Where do you hope to be in the next five years?

    We would have consolidated as a group of companies because we have a number of interests.

  • Cover chairs as revolution  in the decoration world

    Cover chairs as revolution in the decoration world

    THE modern world has evolved with numerous innovations that sharply differ from what obtained in the primitive era. One notable revolutionary area is the planning and decorations of events.

    The interest of the modern man in aesthetics and visual-appealing scenes have culminated in conscious efforts by events planners to always live up to the aesthetics expectation of their clients.

    In recent times, attention has shifted to chair covers which are often used to creatively create dazzling decorations of chairs and tables, thereby making them fit for occasions. The covers are mostly knitted with linens and embroideries of complementing colours geared towards attaining the best visual effect.

    This aesthetic make-up is not limited to chairs, as tables are also decked with alluring apparel that complement the chairs, thereby making the whole scene glamorous.

    Chair covers have become household names at weddings, naming, house-warming, executive meetings and other top-notch occasions. Nowadays, it appears the quality of chair covers has become an index for measuring the importance of a gathering and sensing the calibre of dignitaries expected at such events.

    They not only contribute to serene and paradise-like settings for events, they also create a sense of dignity and decency in people present at such events, Hence, the quest for self-comportment and order at social functions by attendees.

    As decoration for events has become an established means of livelihood in Nigeria, chair covers have continued to create platforms for players in this business to showcase their aesthetics acumen and attract more clients to their side.

  • It’s all about women at  Milan fashion week

    It’s all about women at Milan fashion week

    THE highlights of the event included Prada, which created looks for fun-loving floozy, and pop star Katy Perry, who graced Moschino runway for a photo call.

    Miuccia Prada has created a fashion incarnation of Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s Lola, Karl Lagerfeld received a homage with a Fendi fur mini-me and Australian actress Rose Byrne was up with the early morning fashion crowd to grab a front row seat at Max Mara as Milan Fashion week offered its second day of womenswear previews for next fall and winter.

    Closing out the day, Katy Perry made an appearance at Moschino, showing up fashionably Late for Jeremy Scott’s debut at the label. To make amends, the pop star made a photo call from the runway, dressed head-to-toe in a snug black dress with matching coat and golden accents, including an oversized “Moschino” necklace.

    Max Mara, Fendi, Just Cavalli and Prada headlined Thursday’s shows as the fashion crowd continued their appointed rounds. Highlights:

    FUN-LOVING FLOOZY

    Prada has immersed herself in German culture of the 1980s, film and music, and taken inspiration for her latest collection.

    The looks for next fall and winter are for Prada’s Lola of the 1981 Fassbinder film, a fun-loving floozy in ephemeral sheer or silky dress, nearly lingerie, draped in a man’s jacket. The looks were richly adorned in accents of fur, sometimes wisps and sometimes faux shearling.

    “I like this theme so much. How it is related to clothes, I don’t know,” Prada said backstage, though she does have some inkling: “It is high and low, sophisticated and slightly vulgar.”

    British fashion icon Alexa Chung said she loved the sheepskin coats, and acknowledged that the super-high wedge shoes with a rubberised finish were somewhat intimidating, even for her.

    “But I will give it a go,” she said gamely.

    PRADA ICONOCLASTS

    The invitation to Prada’s newly renovated shops at Montenapoleone said Harlem Renaissance. The pair of stores, men’s and women’s, were finished in September but only formally inaugurated in the presence of the fashion crowd.

    Live jazz wafted through the menswear store where a billiard table and card games were set up to suggest the back room to the Harlem Club which was the women’s store down the block.

    Prada no doubt wants to keep its customers feeling indulged. The Prada Group this month reported that sales in its stores rose 12 per cent last year to nearly €3 billion (Dh15 billion) the lion’s share of its overall 3.6 billion in sales.

    BAG BOY KARLITO

    Fendi has a new meme: a furry figure on a string evoking designer Lagerfeld, complete with a neat white ponytail, large white collar and black tie. Silvia Venturini Fendi said it all started with the Fendi bag bugs: festive little creatures that hang from Fendi’s handbags.

    Now that tradition has evolved into Bag Boy Karlito, for little Karl. “Not bad boy,” Fendi said backstage, “Bag Boy.”

    While the fun figurine also can be attached to a handbag, it had a place of pride in the runway show: carried by a model in a furry helmet as if a lantern lighting the way. Bag Boy Karlito popped out to take a bow after the show, with the real-life inspiration.

    Another Fendi fashion forward moment: drones hovered above the runway for a bird’s eye view during the show and delivered light gusts of wind down on to the audience below.

    ABS OF STEEL

    In the foyer before entering the Costume National runway show, an artiste clad in a black leotard performed abdominal-straining stretches with more precision than most Pilates practitioners. Designer Ennio Capasa called it an exercise “in finding awareness”.

    The tie-in between the installation piece by Bastiaan Arler with his collection, shown at the Triennale contemporary art museum, Capasa said, was the notion of breaking boundaries “between fashion and anti-fashion, construction and deconstruction, masculine and feminine”.

    On the one side, athletic: there were trousers gathered at the ankle with rich, furry vests, white on white. At the other extreme, feminine: a flowing evening dress had as its neckline a tuxedo collar, black on black.

    There were admiral feats of tailoring too: an off-shoulder asymetrical dress was fashioned of strips of fabric sewn along the bias in the front, but in the back a single panel with raised vertical seams.

    MINING FLORENTINE TREASURES

    Roberto Cavalli took inspiration from Florence’s artistic treasures for his Just Cavalli line, photographing and painting the images himself that he would later incorporate into garments for the younger set.

    Details from such landmark Florentine monuments as the Santa Maria Novella façade and Michelangelo’s David were superimposed on satin and silk viscose garments using experimental processes.

    Cavalli said he often consults his sales staff to find out what young buyers are looking for. The goal: “I want a different fashion, less attached to advertising and stars”.

    ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE, URBAN LANDSCAPE

    Max Mara set its English countryside-inspired collection on a cement runway in stark white light. The message was clear: the looks suggest cozy countryside, but the vibe is urban.

    Anyone looking for the perfect overcoat knows Max Mara is the place to start, and this collection presents a plethora of oversized coats with innovative accents. One key is the waistcoat that gets sewed over the coat, is worn layered under the jacket or is transformed out of a longer coat, left sleeveless, offering new ways of creative layering.

    Max Mara’s cold weather looks for next year, at its heart, is a collection of basics coats, vests and knitwear that give a metropolitan edge to pretty straight skirts that cover the knee or form-fitting dresses composed of jackets and trouser-inspired pencil skirts. Colours are button-down greys, heather, golden and camel.

    In keeping with the English theme, tweeds dominate, accented by cashmere wools and shiny vinyl-looking material and gold crocodile prints. The looks are finished with black or gold crocodile booties, and a clutch on a gold chain.

    AUSSIE EYES CROCODILE BOOTIES

    Rose Byrne says the Max Mara golden crocodile booties caught her eye.

    “I am obsessed with the boots,” Byrne said after the preview show.

    She took in the show from the front row, wearing a golden Max Mara camisole, dark jacket and wide cream pants. The actress said she long has been drawn to Max Mara’s coats and knits, and feels like she “grew up with the brand”.

    Byrne begins filming the spy spoof Susan Cooper with Melissa McCarthy in April. They last appeared together in the 2011 comedy hit Bridesmaids.

  • Charming  all the way

    Charming all the way

    Fashion has a fascinating way of galvanising people into constantly thinking about the present and making it always about what’s next. Yetunde Oladeinde takes a look at the groom as a strong contender for wedding trends.

    THE 2014 runways have witnessed a number of new directions, converted silhouettes, metamorphosed colour palettes, as the novelty of the season culminated with a display of evolving accessories, envisioned as to reset all grounds and lead one step closer to that bright future.

    As soon as you talk about a typical wedding, the suit naturally comes to mind for the groom. This is a set of outer clothes made of the same fabric and designed to be worn together, typically consisting of a jacket and trousers or a jacket and skirt.

    The suit and jackets worn by the groom on the wedding day have gone through all kinds of metamorphosis. These days, the trend is usually contemporary designs which come with a mix of the foreign and a touch of African fabrics like the ankara, aso oke, kente and damask. A number of men have also broken the rule and prefer to step out on their wedding day in something different. The choice, really, is yours. All you need to do is wear something that suits you and something that would make the day as memorable as possible.

  • Weak status of women in the informal sector

    Weak status of women in the informal sector

    WOMEN are a cornerstone of African economic development. According to recent estimates, they provide approximately 70 per cent of agricultural labour and produce about 90 per cent of all food. Women’s economic activity rate, which measures the percentage of people who furnish the supply of labour for the production of economic goods, ranks highest compared to other regions of the world (including the OECD countries) with a value of 61.9. However, women are predominantly employed in the informal sector or they occupy low-skill jobs. This can be illustrated by considering the percentage of women in wage employment in the non-agricultural sector, which scores lowest among all regions of the world with a value of only 8.5 per cent.

    The weak status of women in the formal economy of Africa* has many reasons. Insufficient access to key resources such as education and health are two important contributing factors. As is illustrated by the Gender, Institutions and Development Data Base (GID-DB) of the OECD Development Centre, primary education of females is still at a strikingly low rate of 67 per cent despite international endeavours such as the second Millennium Development Goals to achieve universal primary education by the year 2015 (men 72.6%). Unsurprisingly, illiteracy remains a major challenge with only 51 per cent of all women above the age of 15 being able to read and write (compared to 67.1 percent of all men). Improvements in maternal mortality also fall far short of international objectives. The African value of 866 deaths per 100.000 live births partly due to dismal medical services which only guarantee 50.9 per cent of all births being attended by skilled health personnel is alarming and far worse than in any other region of the world.

    Apart from these relatively obvious factors, the GID-DB also helps to identify and understand more hidden reasons that obstruct the socio-economic development of women (Fig. 1). The comprehensive data base compiles for the first time in a coherent and systematic fashion information on inequalities that are based on social norms and traditions. The prevailing family code in many African countries, for example, discriminates against women in preventing daughters from having an equal share of inheritance or parental authority over their children after a marriage is broken. Similar to South Asian countries, girls often find themselves in arranged or even forced marriages, into which they enter at very young ages. Compared to an OECD average of 27.4 years, girls in Africa get married at only 21.3 years. What is more, 28 per cent of all girls before the age of 20 have been married at least once in their life.

    Polygamy is pervasive in many African countries and property rights over land are not granted equally to men and women. Although women may have the right to obtain a bank loan on paper, customs still prevent females to have equal access to credit in many rural areas in Africa. Other traditions such as female genital mutilation – which in some countries are reported to affect more than 95 per cent of all women (e.g. In Guinea, Mali, Egypt, Somalia and Eritrea) are not only a violation against women’s basic human rights but also a heavy burden for their health status and consequent chances in the labour market. Highlighting the important impact of social norms and traditions may help to design better policies that can improve the socio-economic status of women in the long-run.

    But there are positive examples as well. Especially North African countries have made some progress in reducing the impact of discriminatory social institutions and improving the status of women. Tunisia in the 1960s opened to the West and abolished many traditional practices under the presidency of the charismatic Habib Bourguiba. A similar movement has recently begun in Morocco with King Mohammed VI who changed the prevailing family code to allow more rights to women.

  • You can’t give what you do not have

    What do you desire in the relationship that you are dying for? If your desire is to give as much as you hope to get, then you must be truly involved. Conversely, if all you do is to associate love with pain, then no matter how hard you try, safety will trump any potential for a real romance. Reason: Your unconscious deems love as dangerous territory. So whether you look it or not, the unconscious mind would always move you from pain to pleasure.

    These protective mechanisms of the ego are not bad. Having a strong ego served you when you were younger and was important for your survival and strong state of mind. Now that you are older, understanding the ego’s defences can help you bring them to light so you can transcend the ego and move toward a higher desire based on love instead of fear.

    For many, love is for dreamers. It is as elusive as the day and each time they think that you have finally found what you want, it turns out to be just a dream. So what is the point falling in love? you ask. Who needs a heart when it can be broken to pieces like the chinaware? How do you continue to fool around with something or someone that you are uncertain about?

    Perhaps the best attitude would have been to cast away this spell called ‘love’ and have it quarantined for sanity to reign. But the truth of the matter is that love is the most profound emotion known to human beings. Like a shadow, it trails you about and the more you want to flee from all its trappings, you just realise that you just cannot help yourself.

    For most people, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element in their lives. However, the crux of the matter is that the ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not automatic. Even when you work so hard at it and expect it to be a happy ending like you read about in story books, things still do not fall in place.

    Almost all of us have experienced a failed relationship at one point or the other. It sinks the heart and you just wonder if love was not meant to be that way. Like a business that you laboured for, worked consciously to master the skills necessary to make it flourish, things may go still go down the emotional drain.

    Of course, it is only the outstanding pair that doesn’t run into a few bumps on the road. You are therefore better off, when you recognise ahead of time, what those relationship problems might be. Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep their love life going no matter the odds. They hang in there, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life.

    The truth of the matter is that you cannot give what you do not have. This is why relationships that are unplanned most often fail. Even though every relationship has its peculiar strengths and weaknesses, it is better to plan and invest in your emotional future. The next question would be how to make core love investments. Are you sure that your investments would be appreciated as well as reap emotional dividends at the right time?

    Here, we must think of the type of emotional investment that we need to make, responsible investment as well as the costly mistakes that emotional investors make before forging ahead. Next, you need to define and understand the kind of investments you need to make as well as how to go about doing it in the right way.

    The love arena comes with a lot of complications and what you think is important may not necessarily be cool for the other party. In economics, investment is the accumulation of newly produced physical entities, such as factories, machinery, houses, and goods inventories.

    Investing in your emotions as well as in the emotions of the one you love is not a short-time strategy. It is about making a success about the relationship in the long run, and you must have the goal of wanting it to work out. It is only when you are sincere with the heart that you treasure, that you would be ready to make core love investment.

    To have your emotions given, or “invested,” towards someone or something sounds like a great idea but it requires a lot of hard work, dedication as well as perseverance. It requires focusing your emotions on to something or someone that you care a lot about.

    No matter how hard we try we are still likely to run into emotional and economic depression. They are phases that we pass through in our finances and our emotions. The phase should not be a hindrance, setback or stumbling block. The most important thing is to understand the tools to make use of as you pass through the phase. On the other hand, the assets and investments that you have stored up over time would definitely help you to pass through the rainy day without tears.

    Experts would readily tell you that it is only the rare couple that doesn’t run into a few potholes as the journey through and from the emotional in the road. Some even run into emotional gutters, somersault on the emotional flyovers many times and still survive because they have saved lots of emotions which they use to replenish each time they are in emotional distress.

  • Life as model and songwriter

    Life as model and songwriter

    Angela Chioma John is popularly known as Annjay. She is an entertainer who started out as a journalist. She is a singer, song writer, dancer and a model. The lady, who hails from Ohaukwu Local Government Area of Ebonyi State, spoke to Seun Osemota about her exploits.

    WHY did you go into music?

    Music has been part of me. I did not just start singing yesterday but right from when I was a child. I went into music for the strong passion I have for it.

    Can you give an insight of your life as a recording artiste?

    I have three singles to my credit titled Fly High, Gbakodoro and Fall in Love, which is everywhere today. I have travelled a lot because of music and have performed at

    ‘A” list events along with top-rated Nigerian entertainers.

    Where did inspiration for Fall in Love come from?

    First and foremost, inspiration comes from above and not from man but from the Living God. Music is all about what happened to you or your environment. Fall in Love is one of my best songs, for me, and it took me a long time to write and to record it.

    Why do people fail in music?

    Music requires passion and focus. Some people went into music because they wanted to make what people call sharp cash and by the time the money did not come they dropped. Although I have not failed and I will never fail. I will continue to do what I know how to do best till when my God answers my prayer. I did not rush in and I will not rush out by his grace and because my love for my career is intact and I know my God will perfect me. And I am there already and I am not in a hurry.

    What do you like about being a musician?

    Happiness, peace and joy. Meeting different kinds of people from different countries who tell you how they feel about your job.

    Tell us about your new video

    My video opened a new chapter in my career. I have a great video shot recently by a US-born Nigerian who is also a great director and a popular singer over there. He is known as Obiechina. I know it’s not easy to achieve a good video in Nigeria without spending much as an artiste who is independent. I am very happy and I know that more good videos are on the way. I say thanks to God, my big brothers, my director Obiechina, and other good-minded people that contributed to the success of this wonderful video.

    Who are your role models?

    God first, the late Michael Jackson, Tuface, Psquare, Dbanj and Akon.

    What should your fans be expecting from you?

    Good music, beautiful things, more good jobs and I promise not to let them down.

    I love all my fans so much that I cannot do without them and I say God bless them all.