The Nation Newspaper

Category: New Woman

  • A romantic ambience

    A romantic ambience

    “I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I’ll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time. I’d do it all over again, if I had the choice. No regrets.” This quote aptly captures what goes on in the heart of someone who is truly in love. That explains why there is the need to understand what the season represents and how to make the best out of the romantic opportunities available.

    To make it memorable, you need to consider your loved one’s preferences when it comes to planning for a wonderful valentine celebration. You can make it dramatic by playing up the element of surprise. Of course, your date knows that you have something planned for Valentine Day, but it is better not to tell them everything that you have lined up.

    What you wear on this special day matters a lot. It is good to pay attention to the clothes and accessories you turn up in to ensure that it is a magnetic affair. While looking out for the best outfit, you need to make sure that it is something that you are comfortable in and not over dress. For ladies, there are a number of options from an elegant dress or a simple top and matching pair of trousers can make you awesome.

    You can therefore send a special cake or flowers to that special angel at work or early in the day. The second part of the arrangement can come later in the day with a candlelight dinner or you can leave sweet notes posted around the house, highlighting why they are such a treasure in your life.

    Eating out is one of the highpoints of a valentine date and so you need to know if your partner adores upscale cuisine or the options that would endear you to his or her heart. Most Valentine Day’s dates are built around some element of eating, whether it’s an all-out dinner or just chocolates. Think about what sort of cuisine you and your date both enjoy.

    If the person you are hooked on is hooked on romantic movies, then you may just have to stay indoors together watching these kinds of movies. Alternatively, you can go to the movies together which also makes it exciting and memorable.

    As a woman, you can make those mouth-watering dishes that he would find irresistible. Show your date how dedicated you are to a memorable evening by crafting an elegant meal yourself. This way, you can customise the food and make exactly what you and your date want. Think of some heartfelt ways of presenting the food, like arranging the salad in the shape of a heart; use a heart-shaped cookie cutter to cut out pieces as well as have a cake in a heart shape.

    Whether you’re going out or staying in, you can do a few things to establish a romantic ambience and put your date in a good mood. Dress up a bit and take extra care for your appearance. Speak in gentle, loving tones. Hold your date’s gaze and sit or stand close to him or her. And smile!

     

    Valentine Day has always been a special affair for most women. While they may not expect an over-the-top declaration of love, they would at least want a special gesture of affection from you. Don’t disappoint the woman you love just because she is really looking forward to hearing from your ‘heart’, this season.

    It is important to remember that not every man knows how to plan a perfect date. A large number of men realise their mistakes after losing the girl they dated. If you think that you need to plan your dates in a better way, then it is important to avoid having a dating this valentine.

  • Love conquers all

    Love conquers all

    For George Adimike and former Miss Uche Okoye Obiora, it was a dream come true.

    They recently exchanged marital vows at St Joseph’s Catholic Church, Awka Etiti, Idemili South Local government of Anambra State. Friends, family and officiating priests were in attendance to make their day very colourful.

    Also in attendance were the sponsors of the wedding, Mr. Chinedu and Mrs. Nkoli Ezimuo, who posed with couple.

  • ‘It’s challenging being a senator’

    ‘It’s challenging being a senator’

    Senator Nkechi Justina Nwaogu represents Abia Central Senatorial District in the senate. She is chairman, senate committee on oil and gas. Before venturing into politics, she had worked in various financial institutions. In this interview with our Aba Correspondent, Sunny Nwankwo, she speaks about the daunting task of being a female senator, the anomaly of giving staffers target by commercial banks, among other issues.

    What is it like being a senator in the midst of men?

    It is very interesting and challenging to be a female senator in the midst of men. I am quite happy to be amongst the privileged few in the Nigerian senate of 109 members. So, it is challenging and quite daunting, but at the end of the day, I believe that with God on my side, I have been equal to the challenge of being a female senator.

    Are you satisfied with the number of women holding offices in various political positions in the country under this democratic dispensation?

    Obviously, I am not. You can see it that for the past 10 to 15 years, we are signatory to the Beijing convention that affirmed a 35 percent minimum provision for women, both appointive and electively. The current federal government under President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan has done well in appointing women to various high positions in Nigeria. But for elections, I think it has been abysmal in terms of performance at all levels (federal, state and local government). It has been a source of concern and very worrisome. The number is almost infinitesimal. In most states’ Houses of Assembly, there are no women at all at the houses of assembly, which shouldn’t be. In the senate, we have eight female senators out of 109 and for house of reps., we have 18 female members out of 360. So, it’s a far cry from even meeting 10percent let alone the 35percent.

    How would you describe the role of the First Lady (Patient Jonathan) towards the realisation of the 35percent?

    She has been wonderful. She is a caring mother that is sensitive to issues that border on the interests of women. No wonder they made her the first woman president of African Peace Mission. She is a mother who is very concerned. Even the president is very concerned about the very negligible number of elected women.

    As a one-time banker and past chairman, senate committee on banking, what is your reaction over the target condition that banks normally give to their female staff to meet?

    Well, actually, it is not only the female bankers that are given targets. Targets are given to female and male bankers. I think that the policy of assessing bankers by the volume of money their staff have amassed as deposits is the death of skills in banking. When we were bankers, we were adjudged by the quality of client relationship that we maintained. Because, when a customer opened a savings or current account, you can expand that relationship by finding out what other financial product that particular client may need and not necessarily send our young children; the girls and the boys out on the street to go and look for deposits. I think it is a bad thing and I think that is why the banking sector itself has been doing very poorly in terms of maintaining quality staff.

    Because a lot of the young staff or graduates, I think the last place they would want to work today are in the banks because they are not assessed by their intellectual prowess; they are assessed by the how much money they have amassed in what they call their deposit targets. So, a lot of them might be forced to do some unethical things. Therefore, I think that policy should be looked into again. When I was chairman senate committee on banking, insurance and other financial institutions, I frowned at it. I criticised the policy and I made it known to the apex bank that the CEOs of all these banks ought to develop products other than deposits. That is not a way to run a bank and bankers should not be assessed on the deposit that they have amassed.

    You won’t believe it that somebody who has a short skirt, pretty face and being able to do whatever they like to do and get some deposit are given automatic promotion from one level to another. I think it is absurd, because when you go to other countries, even as close as other African countries, you don’t see such banking practice as a measure of performance on our innocent and willing bankers who are willing to contribute more to the growth of banking industry and invariably to the economic development of our nation.

    What is your impression on the level of girl-child education in Nigeria?

    I am not only an advocate, but also a crusader, for girl-child education. Because they say, you train a man, you train one family, you train a woman, you train a nation and if a girl-child is trained, look at the spiral and ancillary benefits, an educated child gets married, gets a job, manages her home and job, rears children and is able to give her children quality mother care at all time and becomes a good support for the family because she is educated.

    So there are innumerable extended relationships and benefits that can accrue from a girl-child that is educated. I am a crusader and I think that all other mothers should ensure that their girl children are trained at all times. At the same time, you train the boy because it takes two to tango. You need the man and the woman. You need the boy and the girl. If a nation fails to harness the potentials inherent in the girl-child, it is like somebody walking on the road deliberately deciding to work with one leg; I don’t know how effective that person can be.

    Some western nations including Canada have been criticising Nigeria and threatening to withdraw humanitarian assistance and dishonour their bi-lateral relations with the federal government since the signing of the anti-gay bill into the law. What is your advice to the federal government?

     

    Well, those who are against our stand on gay marriage, it’s unfortunate that they have to take such stand. I am sure that the same God that created all of us, including those pro-gay people, I believe our God will touch their hearts. They should understand that we are a sovereign nation. We are not an appendage to the Canadian or any other government. We decide and determine laws that are acceptable to us and Nigerians have spoken over the issue. We have spoken that we reject, detest and abhor gay or same-sex marriage. It’s against the law of God. God detests it. If any nation has decided to violate the law of God, let it be unto that nation, but it must not in any way try to coerce us into such a sinful act. Nigerians and Nigerian government have spoken, the legislature has spoken and, indeed, that is our stand. We are anti-same-sex marriage. We do not want it.

  • IFEOMA WILLIAMS -My journey to ‘Fruition’

    IFEOMA WILLIAMS -My journey to ‘Fruition’

    Ifeoma Williams’ first shot at fame was winning the Miss Lux competition in 1998. But she has since transitioned into becoming a foremost figure in image consulting, opening the gateway for younger stylists and image consultants to build a career in a once uncharted path. In this interview with Adetorera Idowu, she speaks on her journey to “Fruition”

    What’s the focus of your company, Fruition Image?

    The umbrella of image consulting is very broad. Fruition Image is the holistic image consultancy. This umbrella covers public relations, media relations, personal image enhancement, corporate group training, personality brand management, etiquette and everything that can help show an individual or corporate organisation in a positive light. An image consultant helps you put your best foot forward, and our focus is to be holistic.

    Who are your major clients?

    I do not like to mention names so that one client does not feel less special. The industries we service are the banking industry, entertainment, media, fashion and lifestyle as well as top corporate executives. As a former lawyer myself, we have started doing a lot of corporate training on etiquette for the legal community.

    So how would you describe your life as an image consultant?

    I would say it is heeding God’s call for my life. I started out as a lawyer, but growing up I was known for packaging and putting people together, be it the way you look or if you’re asked a question. I would say “That’s too many words, say it in three or four words” I was the family copywriter. It came to me naturally, and I readily transitioned from my legal career into it. You know what they say about monetising your passion. I’m blessed to be in image consulting.

    What was the journey like to where you are now?

    It’s been a very interesting and eventful one, but I guess when you’re passionate about and believe in something you’ll stick with it. Image consulting was very new when I started seven years ago and at the time I knew only two certified image consultants; myself and someone else. When I wanted to leave my career to go into image consulting, I remember my father saying “You want to leave law to go tell people how to carry shoe and bag?” So I had to explain further. When I came back from my training, people called me a stylist because the initial thing I did was fashion and fashion styling.

    I had to educate a lot of people on the fact that styling is a miniscule part of image consulting. But even though styling was what I started with, it caught on because Nigerians are very fashion forward. It’s been an interesting journey, a gradual process and I’m very proud of the fact that I have risen in my career. Currently, I’m President-elect of (AICI) Associate of Image Consultants International – Nigeria Chapter. I also like the fact that the pioneer image consultants and I opened the gateway for the many young fashion stylists and image consultants. My advice to fashion stylists is: though it comes naturally and every man and his purse is a stylist, styling is an art and getting training will actually enhance your God-given talents. My advice to them is: get trained and join the association.

    Can you tell us a few of the challenges you’ve faced on the job?

    Number one challenge is infrastructure. Number two is that though Nigerians are very knowledgeable, they do not understand concepts. So when you say to someone, “I want to enhance your image,” they think it’s such a simplistic thing and don’t believe they should pay for that service. Nigerians generally do not understand paying for services but when you spend time with an image consultant and they help you work on your image, you’ll see that it’s a service worth paying for because you can tell the difference post image consulting.

    So what are some of the strategies you’ve employed to overcome some of these challenges?

    Infotainment basically, because the world is very visual. I simply kept my prospective clients informed of the benefits. It’s advertising of sorts. Thank God for the social media. This makes it easier to inform your would-be clients of the benefits. I wrote a lot of proposals, it wasn’t just text, there were pictures and things to show, I held a lot of talks and I think over time people now realised that there was really something to look into with image consulting.

    So what was the turning point?

    I would say I’ve been quite lucky. But the turning point was the day I gave my first talk. It’s just been a life of blessings because it just seems like I started and it caught on. After my first talk, people started to invite me.

    What are your tips on how we can exude a professional image?

    My number one advice is, as they say, ‘to thyself, be true.’ My number one style guide is that trend and fashion to not equate to style and as Yves Saint Laurent said, ‘fashion fades but style is eternal.’ Not every trend will suit you. It is alright to stay with classic and timeless trends. Know what suits you and stick with it

    Number two, and most importantly, learn to highlight your assets and conceal your flaws. If you have k-legs, you cannot wear skirt above the knee cap. It won’t work. If you stutter, public speaking might be difficult, so work on it by slowing down your pace and speech and you’ll become better at it. Know your body type, stick to your style preference and buy classic pieces not trends. For other tips you should be speaking to Fruition.

    What are some of the memorable moments you’ve had in Fruition and your personal life?

    As I say, watch this space, because a remarkable one will be before the end of the year. But some of the memorable moments in the past were, when we moved to our office here in Lekki, when we single handedly organised the First Lagos carnival queen competition in 2010, when we spoke at the RISE Network organised by Toyosi Akerele in 2007. There have been too many memorable moments

    In my personal life, the days that I gave birth to both my children, the day I won the LUX competition, and the day I took the leap of faith to become an image consultant.

    Do you think winning the Miss Lux Competion impacted on your success?

    It did shoot me to limelight, albeit at an early age. It has its pros and cons, but I would say it did help because, when you are known, people want to know what it is you’re doing, so it did help my career.

    Do you have any mentors?

    I have many mentors. My father, Mr Tunde Ezichi, is one of my mentors. My other mentors are, Mr Yemi Candide Johnson (SAN), my life coach, Mr. Lanre Olusola. Someone I admire greatly would be Mo Abudu who is also a very good friend and Mrs. Gbemi Sasore, an older sister, a mentor and a friend.

    Out of all these people who has had the greatest influence on your life?

    My father. I’m an orator like my dad, public speaking because I watched my dad compère events when I was a child. The comedian side of me came from my father as well. My father is ruler straight in his dealings in life and I think that I got that from him. He is generally someone I admire. He is in his 60s and he doesn’t look one day over 40. So I think the image side of things was greatly influenced by him. My father is also a great fashion lover with impeccable taste even at his age.

    Beauty pageants are gradually fading out, what do you think is the reason for that?

    I don’t think they are fading out; I think that their style is changing because I’m involved in a few of them, pageants are becoming more cerebral and there’s now a focus and it’s beyond just the entertainment. Crowned beauty queens are now indeed ambassadors. When we sift the chaff from the wheat, what would stand are the truly substantial beauty competitions because people are not just looking for physical beauty anymore, they are looking for voices in this generation. Watch this space again.

  • Solutions to real life relationship issues

    Solutions to real life relationship issues

    Thought for the week

    For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and two shall become one flesh. Ephesians 5:31

    Not to confuse my readers, sex is an important spice in marriage not outside of it. Remember, we are sinful beings, our view of sex can be distorted, especially when our sinful heart’s desire sex for SELFISH reason. Sex affects our heart, our inward being, not just our physical being. Sin, which is first and foremost a disorder of the heart, therefore has a big impact on sex. Indeed sex is perhaps the most powerful God created way to help you give your entire self to your spouse, Sex is God’s appointed way of two people to reciprocally say to one another, “I belong completely, permanently and exclusively to you. You must not use sex to say anything else. A negative attitude towards sex really hinders the ability to enjoy the beauty of intimacy God designed for a husband and wife to experience. Sex is a unique way to rekindle the covenant you made to your spouse, esp. as time goes on. Wife should not use SEX in marriage as a weapon by denying your husband any time he wants to be with you. This acts leave room for infidelity. There is an important value of sexual satisfaction in marriage. Both parties as part of their obligation must maintain a good body odor, esp. the genital parts. Paul gives us a positive view of sex in (1 Cor. 7:3-5)that a husband and wife have a marital duty to fulfill, that their bodies belong to each other, and that they should avoid denying each other unless by mutual consent. He is telling husbands and wives that mutual sex in marriage is an important part of life shared together. (1 Cor. 7) husbands and wives should not be concerned with getting sexual pleasure from their spouse, but by giving it. We need to be willing to give sex as a GIFT.

    QUESTION

    Whose Children are they anyways?

    Dear Princess:

    I have been married for 18years to my high school sweetheart. I met her virgin at the ripe age of twenty-four. Her parents were strict Muslims, hence, they believe that a woman must wait till the night of her marriage before allowing her mate to touch her was solidly embedded in my wife and her two younger sisters. I work for a reputable law firm, while she works as a banker at a very well-known bank;our marriage has been happily blessed with four children ages 4,10,12 and 17. Our first child, Henry is a younger replica of me; the other three children look more like their mother as far as am concerned. We are both hard working and happy. About 2years ago, I won a visa lottery to the United States. The whole families were very excited. One of my aunts called me and adviced me to just process the visa, but to not plan on leaving my job to go live abroad. At first, I was upset, I felt maybe she was jealous because am the first person in our entire family to be given this opportunity, Eventually, I decided that I will take a year off my job, go abroad and then decide if I want to stay or come back. I then decided to process my children visa and my wife’s visa together with mine. We were then requested to do a DNA testing, for my children and I, on my wife’s parts, I just have to show our marriage certificate and some photo proves. The DNA testing took about a month before the results came out. The first result read “inconclusive” for my three younger children, but proved that at 99.9% am Henry’s father. My wife and I could not believe the results, so they requested for blood sample this time, a mouth swab was done for the first DNA testing. Princess, the test took another month, during that one month, my whole life was in dismay. I could not sleep, I trusted my wife with my life. Yes, I am one of those men that goes after younger girls, but in our society, it is allowed as far as am concerned. The thought of my wife ever cheating on me was unbearable. I had sleepless nights. I dare not ask my wife if there had ever been anyone other than to touch her. On her part, she was very optimistic; she told me more than one occasion that she is sure there was a mistake somewhere. She had never known any other man aside from me. Princess, I believed her. Anyway, the second result came in, it confirmed that 99.9% chance that Iam not my three younger children’s father, I fainted! When I recovered, my wife sat quietly at the clinic reception area, sobbing. I took one look at her; I cannot tell you the thoughts that went through my mind. When we managed to get home, I calmed myself down. I asked if we should do a third DNA. Quietly, she said No! I then asked her what happened. She narrated that as a banker, sometimes they had to go out to sort for clients, that is how they get commissions, the more money you bring into the bank, the higher your commission. Most if not all their male clients will always request for sexually favors, although when you insist for them to use protection, majority of them will refuse. The habit according to her is very common in the banking industry. Has to who the father or fathers of the three children is/are, she does not know. Princess, I was covered with sweat when I heard this! I then asked her, what do we do now? She looked at me and tears just started dripping down her face. I loved and hated her at the same time. I asked why she does not trust me enough to confide in me about this practice in her office. She said she was afraid I will ask her to leave her job, and since we depended solely on both incomes, she could not take the risk. This issue has been on ground now for about 5weeks , I am so confused. I think I have developed High Blood Pressure. Do I send her packaging with the three children? If I do, who will they go to? Or do I just accept my faith and move on? Please l desperately need your advice. Kingsley, Warri.

     

    ANSWER

    Dear Kingsley,

    “Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% is how you react to it”. In life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything! First of all, I have to say am very sorry for the situation you have found yourself in! Both you and your wife are victims of what our society have become. I want you to look at it from your wife’s point of view. A woman that kept herself till her wedding night before knowing any man, this will tell you that she is not a wayward person, but the usual circumstance that she found herself in. Am sure because she knows that both of your incomes are what sustain the family financially and knowing that if she tells you, you will totally object to it. She made a very sensitive decision and look at what it’s costing your family. Another angle to look at is that she is inexperience when it’s comes to men, hence this sad ending. Kingsley, you said you love your wife. If you send her packing who is she going to go to? Unfortunately, there is no way to test for the paternity of the children father or fathers for that matter, because of am sure she had several clients in the course of the years. When the children were born, you are there, you have been raising them as your own from birth. A friend of mine once told me that her father told her that,“it is not the man that donates his sperm to make a baby that is the baby’s father”, it is actually the one that raise that baby and able to take care of his or her financial needs. In other words, you are those children’s father. I don’t even want you to have a second thought. It will be best for all if both you and your wife can keep this secret between you and take it to your grave. Remember those three beautiful innocent children are the major victims, it will be sad and unforgiving if you take their mother’s mistake out on them! I wish you all the best.

     

    Thought of the week

    “People are more of what they hide than what they show”.

  • With love from Spain

    With love from Spain

    The solemnisation of holy matrimony between Spain-based Christian Chucks Ezenwaka and United Kingdom student Nene Chibuogwu Ekwugha was held last Saturday at the Catholic Church of the Presentation, GRA, Ikeja.

    NNEKA NWANERI witnessed the pomp and ceremony of the colourful reception held at the Sheraton Hotels Ikeja, Lagos.

  • What women still don’t know about getting pregnant

    As surprising as it seems, about half of women of reproductive age have not talked to their health care provider about their reproductive health, according to a new study.

    As a result, the researchers, from the Yale School of Medicine, found that women between ages 18 and 40 weren’t aware of some the important factors that influence fertility and their ability to get pregnant, as well as about basic prenatal practices once they were expecting.

    Among the most notable findings, which were published in the journal, Fertility & Sterility.

    30% of the women reported that they only visited a reproductive health provider less than once a year or not at all.

    50% of the women did not know that taking multivitamins and folic acid are recommended to avoid birth defects.

    A little over 25% of women did not know that things like STDs, smoking and obesity impact fertility.

    20% did not know that aging can impact fertility and increase rates of miscarriage.

    50% of the women thought that having sex multiple times in a day increased their likelihood of getting pregnant

    Over 33% of women thought that different sex positions can increase their odds of getting pregnant

    10% did not know that they should have sex before ovulation to increase the chances of getting pregnant instead of after ovulation. The significant gaps in the women’s knowledge about their fertility may also explain why 40% reported that they had concerns and questions about their ability to get pregnant. The researchers believe that as women put off starting families the latest CDC report showed women between 25 to 29 years old have the highest pregnancy rates, compared to women aged 20 to 24 in earlier years doctors, particularly reproductive health specialists, should have more opportunity for improving women’s education about fertility and pregnancy so they know what to expect when they are finally ready to have a child.

    Culled from TIME magazine

  • Regal in beaded coral attires

    Regal in beaded coral attires

    The bead is a small, decorative object that is formed in a variety of shapes and sizes of a material such as glass, plastic, or wood, and that is pierced for threading or stringing. For brides from some parts of the country especially Edo states the coral beads make their world go round.

    Head crown, shoulder bead, hand bead, neck bead, leg bead, and d wrapper. These following items should be used for traditional wedding dressing. The head crown will be use on the head while the shoulder bead is designed around the bride’s body.

    The Edo wedding outfit worn by brides during their traditional wedding ceremony is so rich and regal. In addition, the brides wear a glamorous hairstyle known as Eto-Okuku. Coral beads are then sewn into the hair inform of a crown called the Okuku. Interestingly, there is also a readymade wig which comes with the hair styled and the crown sewn in. Brides also tie beautiful wrappers made from a variety of fabrics including velvet, lace and George

  • Sorting out a serial cheater

    WHAT do you do with love that has gone sour? Usually, it is better to throw it into the trash can before it runs the tummy. That is exactly the way Teju is feeling at the moment. She had just survived an emotional hurricane and just could not fathom where and how she was going to move on.

    Until recently, it looked like what she wanted and hoped for. But along the line, she came to the realisation that the relationship which lasted for two years and four months was filled with ’emotional errors’. The guy she wanted to donate her heart to was a serial cheater.

    Sadly, Teju just had to move on, hoping to find a better heart, one that would not contaminate whatever was left. On her heart, she felt it may just be too hard to start over on a clean slate. The other option, therefore, was to avoid any emotional entanglements for now.

    The emotional pressure she was going through started to affect her work and so she thought of different ways to recover herself.

    A few weeks after, she just could not take her mind off and there was also tension at work. Teju decided to take a break from work and the restaurant in the neighbourhood looked like a great arrangement. A few minutes’ walk down the road and she was in the right place, relaxed in the serene environment, feeling different. The meal was also great and she waited a little just to get refreshed before going back to work.

    Two jolly good fellows walked in looking as famished as she was and they also had lunch. Once the stomach was sorted out, they talked about some of their recent conquests and escapades. Midway into the conversations, they remembered a third friend, Lanre, and the exploits he made when he was part of this team of emotional ‘musketeers’.

    Unfortunately for them, Lanre recently found love and amended his ways. “I just don’t know what is wrong with that guy. How can he lose all his head for one woman? I thought he was stronger than this but he has really disappointed me. Sometimes, when I remember his matter I get really upset. That is why I have stopped thinking about him,” Adamu lamented.

    The bone of contention is the fact that their good friend has ‘repented’. Old things and ’emotions’ have simply passed away. “One other thing that he does is that he actually keeps all the money he makes into a joint account with this woman. To make matters worse is the fact that the alert actually goes to the woman’s phone number. He just cannot do anything without her. Is that really what they call love? Humh….. I am sure that something fishy is going on.”

    The question here is: what is wrong with being faithful a hundred per cent? Our friends, however, feel differently and believe that it is better to have a plan B in every arrangement. “That is not how to be faithful at all. I think he is just being a mugun and I am very sorry for him. I just hope that it won’t be too late before he realises what’s going on.”

    Humorously, Mr. B goes on to talk about a similar experience and how a smarter Alec survived the emotional struggle. “Muyiwa had always been smart from our schooldays. Then about three years ago, he met this lady and he became very cool and calm. The first time I met the lady in question, I just did not like her at all. She was very rude and domineering and I told him that he was not likely to go far with that kind of lady.”

    He continued: “For the first time, Muyiwa was visibly angry with me and he told me not to interfere with the relationship because he was in charge. So I left him with this emotional cross and thought this was another lost case. We met at a friend’s party about six months after and we reconciled. It was there that he made me realise that he was not as foolish as I thought. ‘We have a joint account and we use this account to service whatever we need to run the home. I pretend to put all my resources in the account but I have a secret account where all the extras that I make is kept. The strategy, however, is to look and feel helpless financially, so that I can continually draw from the joint account .This way I have a robust savings account that she doesn’t know exist.’”

    Can you beat that? Well, a lot of women actually get stuck on the road to an amazing relationship, and most times it has to do with a fear of the unknown.

    Lots of women who are afraid of being alone also end up picking the same kind of men over and over who just don’t “get it”.

    So you need to identify what you want and if it isn’t there, then there is no point hanging on. If you’re afraid of being alone, you’re likely to put up with a behaviour you aren’t comfortable with just for the sake of being in a relationship.

  • Waging war against cancer using beauty

    Waging war against cancer using beauty

    How many people know that beauty can be a tool to wage war against diseases? Hannah Ojo writes on how Ms. Tolulope Bewaji, a banker-turned-beauty entrepreneur who runs The Ojulewa Beauty Institute, offers free make-over for women as a way of encouraging them to come attend breast and cervical screening exercises.

    AS the world continues to wage war against the dreadful killer disease – cancer, one lady who is bringing innovation to play in the battle against the scourge is Tolulope Bewaji. Trained as an accountant at the Federal Polytechnic, Ado-Ekiti and with an MBA from the Federal University of Technology Akure (FUTA), she abandoned a plum job in the banking industry where she put in 10 years of active service to pursue her passion: beauty and wellness. Today, she is not only finding fulfilment in holding her head high in an industry driven by competition, she is also using her craft as a social enterprise by creating awareness on prevention as the best way to curb cancer. This she does by offering free make-over services to women as a way of encouraging them to prevent cancer by attending screening and encouraging others to come along as well.

    Speaking of the inspiration behind the move, she said: “I did a cervical screening some years back and I wish more women would turn up for screening so as to prevent their chances of developing cancer. I discovered most ladies are thrilled by make-ups since they want to look good, so we just thought of what we can use to attract women to come out and do their screening. We decided to organise free make-over sessions at the Optimal Care Cancer Foundation, Surulere as a way of encouraging women to work towards preventing cancer by attending regular screenings.”

    The CEO of The Ojulewa Institute organised the first free make-over sessions for women at the Optimal Care Cancer Foundation when she turned 40 on July 19, last year. Since then, she has not looked back as she sometimes lead her team to offer free make-up services on some Fridays when lectures and screenings are held for women within the foundation’s premises. For her, the best way to fight cancer is prevention. This she believes hinges on creating awareness by preaching the good news of breast and cervical screening since cancer is better managed when detected early.

    Speaking on how she finds fulfilment in what she is doing, she said: “For a make-over session, I charge N15, 000, so you can imagine the number of ladies we are doing for free. If I am going to quantify what I am doing here in monetary terms, it will run into thousands of naira. But for me, I can’t quantify the fulfilment I get because we are using the institute to save lives.”

    At a time beauty appears to have become a social necessity, the svelte beauty, who recalled people told her she was crazy when she wanted to leave her banking job to start as a make-up artiste, believes every woman can look good while also cultivating a healthy lifestyle. Even though she is 40, she could pass for someone in her late 20s. The secret to her ageless body, she attributes to a healthy living which is summarised in three habits: ‘eat well, drink a lot of water and exercise’. “I am slim yet I still go to the gym because I want my blood to circulate. These days you see a lot of women who look older than their age. I have a lot of clients who I am treating who have aged more than their looks.”

    She thinks women age faster as a result of being lazy about their health. “They eat junk foods. They don’t eat veggies. These are things that aid even in preventing cancer; eating right and cultivating a healthy life style.”

    With the manner she handles her clients and the way she hands out instructions to her assistants during the course of the free make-over sessions which this reporter experienced, one cannot but conclude that the professionalism she garnered in her years in the bank has rubbed on her as an entrepreneur who is doing well for herself in a very competitive industry. Reacting to the observation that the make-up industry is an all-comers affair, she thinks there is still room for more competition since Nigeria’s huge population is an advantage. “If you lay your onions very well in the industry, definitely you will be able to get your market share. Some Saturdays I am so occupied that I have to give some jobs to some of my students. The thing is to discover a unique selling point. Even I am naturally talented with the arts, I still went out of my way to get trained professionally before I started on my own. Professionalism is key!”

    With a booming beauty institute which boasts of clienteles in the corporate world and fashion industry, including runway jobs for City People magazine, she, however, regrets not leaving banking earlier to pursue her passion. For her, life at 40 is not only about appreciating loved ones and growing her business, she also has a heart for other women. For her, fighting cancer through the Ojulewa Beauty Institute is a commitment she wants to continue with in order to make a difference.